The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002
No Saturday Edition

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[Screens] Use the black fine mesh “no-see-em” 20X20 screen sold at Home Depot. It’s no marketing ploy. It blocks some of the view and breeze, but what good is the view if you can’t sit on your porch without being eaten alive by no-see-ums. Some still get through, but at least you can sit on the porch when they’re out. Regular screen is 20X80. Don’t use it. Also don’t ever use real tropical no-see-um screen which is so fine it stops all airflow and much more of the view. And don’t ever use green or grey screen as that blocks most of the view and looks like crap.
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[“South of the Border at Sugarloaf Lodge”] A Mexican theme park has nothing to do with the Keys. The only Mexican influence we have in the Keys is when contractors hire out-of-town Mexicans to take away jobs from the local workforce.
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[Litter] What kind of person (I am being polite) would leave these on the ground and in the water at the Blue Hole? And what would be their use?
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[IRS Rewards Bad Actors] The Internal Revenue Service has paid more than $2.8 million in bonus­es to employees with recent disciplin­ary problems, including $1 million to workers who owed back taxes. More than 2,800 workers got bonus­es despite facing a disciplinary action in the previous year, including 1,150 who owed back taxes.
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[Marathon
] Florida Keys Aquarium Encounters is planning to open to the public on July 1. Animals are already being collected and quarantined at Dynasty Marine Associates in Marathon.
Keys jobless rate rises in March, but it’s still tied for lowest among all 67 counties in Florida. Link
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[American soldiers going to Russia or Poland or somewhere] This is to all the young men and women being deployed for the Ukraine conflict. Don’t go. Defy these orders they are ridiculous and insane at best. Six hundred (600) soldiers vs. a standing army of two million Russians. The American people will support you in this decision. The American people are sick of war and sick of all these governments playing games. The approval rating of Congress is only ten percent. I was a soldier once like some of these readers once were. I promise you the outcome of this event will look unfavorable for you guys. We will always support our men in women in uniform, but this one is a losing proposition. You are being used as pawns for the ‘one percent’. If you don’t believe me look at this situation strategically. Where is the logic? We will not go to war with Russia. We have nothing to gain. We can not steal natural resources from them nor would they let us. Hence a losing proposition. Stand up and say no. But if you decide to go speak with the Russian soldiers and ask them their opinion then make a formidable conclusion on your own. Think for yourself and form your own opinion. Remember question everything and decide for yourself do not, I repeat, do not let the government do the thinking for you.
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Fatah and Hamas
have reconciled their differences and now will be a more formidable force in the mideast.
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[Learn to Boat] The Key West Sail & Power Squadron is offering America’s Boating Course at the Key West Sail & Power Squadron, 5205 College Road, Stock Island. This course covers boat handling, elementary seamanship, navigation aids, weather, marine radios, Florida boating regulations and more. Completion satisfies Florida State boating certification requirements.The course dates are Saturday ,May 3rd, 2014, and Sunday,May 4th , 2014. The class will run from 8:30AM to 4:30 PM with a 1 hour lunch. The fee of $55.00 covers the cost of materials, and a reduced rate of $70 is available for family members who are willing to share materials. People who pass the course are offered an introductory 6-month Power Squadron membership.

The Key West Sail & Power Squadron is a non-profit boating safety organization that offers a variety of boating courses. Completion of this course and Squadron membership entitles you to reduced fees for advanced courses such as seamanship, piloting, cruise planning, weather, sailing and marine electronics. Members also participate in boating raft-ups and other social events. The Key West Squadron’s jurisdiction begins at the south end of the Seven Mile Bridge. For information Events

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On this day in the year 34 Christ was crucified, according to Isaac Newton.
Florida is ‘Ground Zero’ for sea level rise. Nah, there ain’t no freakin global warming … gurgle … gurgle … gurgle! Link
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I’m glad to see the basher didn’t post anything today after railing on BPK and then complaining about the Key West ‘close to perfect, far from normal’ phrase. Geez, talk about a grouch! Or one of those ‘glass is 1/8th full’ types. Maybe it was someone from the northern territories who is just jealous of all we have.
[Screens] Once upon a time I heard that if you don’t clean your screens and just let that fuzz build up on them, eventually even the noseeums won’t get through.
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You’re not at rock bottom. Just go to Walmart at 2am, and take a good look around you. It gets much worse.
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[“Dumpy sailboat wanted”] Could we interest you in a well used Tug Boat? You just need to raise it, but it’s apparent the original, and probably current, owners are willing to, basically, give it away.
Windows Gadgets have been discontinued. Gadgets are no longer available on our website because the Windows Sidebar platform in Windows 7 and Windows Vista has serious vulnerabilities. Microsoft has retired the feature in newer releases of Windows. Gadgets could be exploited to harm your computer, access your computer’s files, show you objectionable content, or change their behavior at any time. An attacker could even use a gadget to take complete control of your PC. If you’re concerned about the safety of gadgets you’ve downloaded, find out more about gadgets and steps you can take to protect your PC. Link
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[“ROGO limits”] I know the ROGO permits are capped at 24 hr evacuation capacity, and that calculation factors in seasonality, etc. But at some point, folks are going to realize that 24 hr window was determined a while ago, and meteorological science has come a long way in forecasting. Now the window can probably be expanded to 30 hrs and be less risky than a 24 hr window 5 or 10 years ago. I’m not sure this issue related to ‘takings’ really has a solid logical foundation.
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[Customer Service]  Fortunately I’m getting a gravity system for my sewage needs.  I called 3 plumbing companies for estimates for doing the trenching, piping, hook-up and abandoning my septic tank.  One company never called back.  Another called two weeks later and the guy rudely asked, “whatdoyaneed?”  I told him that I wanted an estimate and he replied, “I’ll get to it when I can, but I’m pretty busy.”  The last company was 3rd Generation Plumbing in Marathon (Recommended to me by a local contractor).  A very professional, helpful person on the phone said that she would have me scheduled for an estimate within the week.  I received both a verbal estimate via a return phone call and a follow up estimate via my e-mail.  I called back with a couple of questions and was answered by the estimator and was given all the information I needed.  They got the job (and $350 for permit fees demanded by the money grubbing county).  I  later spoke to a friend who had estimates as much as $1700 higher than mine for a nearly identical job.  I have no doubt that 3rd Generation Plumbing will do a good job and as promised, keep me informed as to schedules along the way.  I even got a call from them asking if I was satisfied with their service.  They obviously know the meaning of customer service.
The usually sedate and convivial “Meet the Candidates” forum hosted by our Hometown Political Action Committee ended dramatically Monday with a seeming argument between Tony Yaniz and Hometown’s Todd German and Trish Doherty-Gibson…and a crescendo of “Boo!”s from Cates supporters. Too many people for me to count filled Salute at Higgs Beach again, spilling out onto the surrounding walkway and beach. Dozens of candidates gave their two-minute speeches to polite applause, with only County Commissioner George Neugent rambling on so long that Hometown’s well-respected moderator, banker Todd German had to give him the hook, saying, “There’s always one we have to kick off the stage.”
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Speakers
. Vintage Realistic T100 tower speakers. These speakers are from 1976, original owner, Walnut case with dust covers, They sound and look great, $120. Call 305-747-4081 Classified Ads > Music
A lot of guys go to Cuba so they can have easy cheap sex with Cubans, often with underage kids.  What happens in Cuba stays in Cuba (you hope).
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Deer Ed, I would like to thank you on behalf of our Scouts for all the help you’ve given all them these past years. Their spaghetti dinners were very successful and the boys are looking forward to camp this summer. I am retiring as the liaison because my son will be an Eagle Scout this summer and is off to college in the fall. Thanks again!
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[“South of the Border”
] Even here in South Carolina we consider South of the Border to be one of the state’s longest running jokes (other than Strom Thurmond). So we South Carolinians think it would be perfect for the Keys.
["Doesn't want to pay the adoption fee for a kitten"] Even if you took your free kitten to get spayed or neutered at a low cost clinic the average rate is $50 with additional charges for vaccinations. It is exactly $50 to adopt a kitten at our local not for profit, no time limit shelter, safe harbor animal rescue. When you adopt the animal comes fully vetted, spayed or neutered and vaccinated. You also get a free vet visit at our local hospital. Additionally the $50 you’re spending on a kitten helps support the wonderful people protecting our animals in the lower Keys. And if $50 is still too much, any cat over 5 months old is only $35. Considering all of this, I hope you choose to reevaluate visiting Safe Harbor Animal Rescue and help our homeless pets.
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[Sewer Suit] Some people are not finding the new legal filing against the sewer permit for Big Pine North. It is accessed by hitting the Court Filings tab on the right side. Or use this link. The introduction is about 5 pages, so you can skip to paragraph 21 or so to get to the meat.The system is very badly designed and actually illegal and dangerous, but DEP does not seem to care. Why is that?
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[Sloan] Pedaling my bicycle to Hometown! PAC’s call to candidates yesterday afternoon at Salute, it came to me to tell the audience I am the off the wall candidate because my suggestions to help the city work if they are used, while other suggestions are spaghetti thrown against a wall, hoping they will work.Earlier in the day, a popular Key West elderly woman had fondly reminded me of Hometown!s howler Call to Candidates in 2009, when topless Aphrodite burst into that event and shouted, “Nude beaches for Key West! Sloan for mayor!” Taking that as cue, and my landlady’s enthusiastic approval, I wore my only remaining campaign t-shirt from the 2009 race, a bona fide relic three women howled over at Salute and said they want one just like it!
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[Be Prepared] America’s PrepareAthon! is an opportunity for individuals, organizations, and communities to prepare for specific hazards through drills, group discussions, and exercises. The first National Day of Action is scheduled for April 30, 2014 and will revolve around taking the actions to prepare for these four specific hazards: Tornadoes, Wildfires, Floods, Hurricanes. Link
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Links still don’t seem to work, Deer Ed. (We hate computers too.) (Ed: Grrrrrrrrrr. Damn computers. Thanks for letting me know. I’ve gone over each and every one today and think I’ve found and corrected the problem.)
Why all the bad mouthing of Pine Key? Because you deserve it for what you are allowing to happen to the last Paradise in America, or for that matter, the planet! If you had deep water around the islands they would have been turned into a Levittown or worse years ago. Save whatever beauty is left, by not allowing developers and investors to trash out your homelands with junk instant houses, garbage hotels, and low rent businesses. There is only one Florida Keys and when they are gone, they are gone forever! Grinder Pumps anyone? Four lane highways anyone? High-rise hotels and condos anyone? Marinas for the famous anyone? All it takes is you locals not caring; or is it too late already? Cuba will open next year, then we are all up the big S creek, bet on it. Maybe a chain of Holy Islands, Inc, might work here. Or how about a Mexican theme park on Sugarloaf?
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[Sewers] Incredibly, as reported in the News Barometer, the Florida Keys Aqueduct and the National Key Deer Refuge were meeting this week to discuss possible environmental issues of digging sewer trenches on large parts of Big Pine Key. This after trench construction has already begun. Couldn’t pick a worse time or place. The Key deer fawning season has just begun and will peak in mid-May. Key deer fawns could easily fall into an open trench and die. Anyone doubting that should read the 1985 Recovery Plan and the 1999 revision (attached below) which both discuss Key deer fawns drowning in narrow, shallow mosquito ditches. Amazingly, the place where the Key deer density is highest, Port Pine Heights, is the area where the trenches are being dug. Someone is asleep at the switch at one or both agencies. Such a meeting should have occurred long ago. Link
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[Anzio Annie] T
he gun that held 50,000 men hostage. Link
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[“South of the Border at Sugarloaf Lodge”] is a destination resort for families with kids during the summer months. It’s during those months that the hospitality industry in the Keys dies. Think of all the jobs it would bring.I hope that the rumor is true.
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[Crooks] Buyers who paid more than $8 million for this work argue that it’s a forged Mark Rothko painting that was part of an elaborate fraud scheme. Prosecutor: Indicted art dealer, painter were masters of forgery and deceit. Link
[Political Science?] Does climate apathy hinge on ‘pervasive’ American stupidity? New survey highlights connection between political and religious affiliations and scientific beliefs. Link
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Fox News seems to have spent Earth Day slamming Earth Day from every angle they could come up with.  That is, when they weren’t doing their usual fanning if the flames of revolution against the big evil Federal Government.  They get to actual news once in a while, but their perspective is fascinating to behold.
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Today is Will S’s 450th birthday. He was born in 1564. On his birthday in 1597 William Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor is first performed, with Queen Elizabeth I of England in attendance.
It’s obvious that the wealthy don’t need the relatively well paid human middle class anymore and it is now obsolete.  Technology has replaced it and is the new middle class. The old one was way too pesky anyway. We now have 3 classes: The 1%, technology, and the poor (or no class).
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[“Netflix  stopped giving us DVDs”] They still ship me lots of them for an additional fee, separate from the streaming video fee, and the service is really fast in and out. DVD’S beat streaming by a mile.
MSHRAFI-ct[Captain Doom and Gloom] Life in Paradise
0600 Wake up and small the neighbors
0615 Hit the head SS&S
0630 Hit the fridge for anything that looks eatable
0645 Have a Hair of the Dog if needed
0700 Dress for work if needed or do email
0730 Do another Hair of the Dog
0800 Go to work or do more email
0900 Nibble on anything dead in the cooler
1000 Do something around the pad
1100 Watch the news
1200 Do more email and eat again
1300 Take a noon nap
1400 Snore
1500 Get up and SS&S for Happy Hour
1600 Rejoice and go to HH
1700 Start feeling HH
1800 Try another Bar
1900 Try walking up-right
2000 Try to find the car
2100 Hide from cops
2200 Get home unwounded
2300 Have a night-cap brew
2400 Crash and grin like hell
2401 Say amen to Paradise
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National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
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from the right
sorry_charlie23Do you remember the iconic commercial that featured Charlie the Tuna? Poor old Charlie was always trying so hard to be accepted, but was always rebuffed. The tag line was “Sorry Charlie, only the best get to be StarKissed.”Now we have a latter day Charlie, Charlie Crist. Charlie used to be a big tuna in Florida, he was our Governor. But then his horrible record dogged him when he tried to run for the US Senate.  Senate candidate Charlie was rebuffed as a Republican, and then he was rebuffed as an Independent Senate candidate. Now he has nightmares that he probably will be rebuffed yet again as a newbie Democrat candidate for Governor. Poor old Charlie desperately wants to be accepted, but it just won’t work out for him.

Charlie’s latest tag line is that Governor Scott’s leadership of Florida is a nightmare. We all know that a nightmare is an unpleasant dream that can cause a strong emotional response from the mind, typically fear or horror but also despair, anxiety and great sadness. Deer Friends, I don’t doubt for an instant that Charlie fervently believes that he is living a nightmare caused by Republican Governor Rick Scott.  Charlie probably tosses and turns all night long, waking up with the sweats.

Why? Let’s look over our shoulder and think about Charlie’s governance of Florida.  While our entire nation was suffering from the Democrat caused recession, Florida actually fell into more dire straits that did the rest of the nation. Under Charlie’s leadership, Florida’s recovery lagged after the end of the recession in June 2009. During the recession the unemployed rate was much higher than the national average, our debt grew as if it were on steroids. It was Charlie’s job to protect Florida and it’s economy, then to grow it. He failed.

Even though he claimed to be a Republican, his goofy response to the recession was to increase spending and raise taxes and fees. He did that by aggressive arm twisting of our Legislature. Thanks to Charlie, Florida’s economy tanked.

Thanks in large part, to Governor Scott’s leadership, now it’s an entirely different picture. The Ft. Lauderdale SunSentinel is published in Broward, a bastion of liberality. It is a liberal slanted newspaper. Broward is home base for the Chair of the National Democrat Party, Representative Debby Wasserman Schultz. It is overwhelming Democrat.   Charlie has set up his H.Q. in Broward because, he is convinced that Broward is vital to his campaign.

The other day, Charlie’s nightmare deepened. What follows is an article, a news article that appeared in the SS the other day. The article was news, not opinion. I imagine Charlie woke up screaming.

The article reads:  “Florida’s economy in 2014 is leading the nation in job growth and the overall recovery, despite once being a straggler, said University of Central Florida economist Sean Snaith in his first quarter economic forecast released Tuesday.

Florida was one of the first states to feel the effect of a national recession with job losses starting in April 2007, several months before other states. When the national recovery began in June 2009, Florida was slow to join in and for several years lagged behind the pace of the U.S. economic recovery.

But now Florida is the front-runner, he says, pointing to the declining unemployment rate, payroll job creation and overall economic activity.

“This has been no small accomplishment,” said Snaith, the director of UCF’s Institute for Economic Competitiveness.

In South Florida, employment is expected to grow 2.3 percent each year and unemployment to moderate to an average of 5.7 percent. The average annual wage is forecast to grow by 2.9 percent to $55,200, he said.

Snaith said he expects the Florida economy to continue to outpace the nation as a whole over the next several years.

Unemployment rates have fallen from their peaks, and they will continue to decline through 2017, he said. The pace of decline in unemployment will slow as labor-force growth picks up. Despite this, the state’s unemployment rate — currently  6.1 percent — should hit 5.4 percent by the end of 2017, Snaith said. Link

Deer Friends, Republican governance, with Governor Scott at the helm is the reason that Florida leads the nation.

So there you have it, Charlie’s nightmare is just beginning.  Sorry Charlie, only the best get to be Sunshine state kissed.

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A POSTER WROTE: What in the world is “Your” Governor (that I voted for) thinking; when he supports “in-state” tuition for illegal immigrants ??

FTR’S RESPONSE:  At first glance it sure looks like a lousy idea, but there’s a lot more to it. What follows is only one of the arguments for enabling undocumented immigrant youths to pay in-state tuition. Many, Republicans and Democrats believe it is a smart investment. First of all, it would only apply to students who graduate from Florida high schools. Taxpayers already have underwritten their public education and helping them to afford college would enable them to get better jobs and contribute more to their adopted home. Former Florida state governors, Bush and Martinez support Scott on this matter.

Personally, I’m still undecided on the matter, but I do know that even if you oppose Scott on this issue, it shouldn’t be a poison pill. I know it won’t be for me.  After all, I still love my wife even though she’s a lousy cook.

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A BIG PINE POSTER WROTE:  “Dear FTR,

It is amazing how easily you dismiss the possibility of a spill involving the Keystone pipeline by saying that it different than a spill such as Deep Water Horizon .Your logic is not quite right. A spill is a spill whether from a pipeline a tanker or a train car or tractor trailer. With logic such as yours I’m sure that there is a difference between Deep Water Horizon and say the Exon Valdez because one was in Alaska and one was in the Gulf of Mexico.

With logic from as you have exhibited it is no wonder that some right wingers are just wing nuts  After all I’m sure that you

can get some statistics that show that day is night and up is down. I’ll end by saying thank God that our President is trying to help those who need it. I know the Affordable Care Act  is flawed but it’s miles better than anything that the republicans have proposed.

Charlie Barker (obviously a pinko, fellow traveler, godless heathen, Kenyan socialist) Big Piner” (The foregoing was cut and pasted into my Word program exactly as it was received.  ~FTR)

FTR’S RESPONSE:   Ohh Kaay!  It never ceases to amaze me that our left wingers seem to be absolutely unable to make a posting without being insulting.

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Part 2) It is truly painful to report what follows.  The New York Times has just revealed that the American middle class, long the most affluent in the world, has lost that distinction.  I beg you to think about the results of Democrat leadership since 2007.  Now the poor in Europe earn much more than in the US. Link
It’s way past time for a change.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY  ~FTR

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