Thursday August 31, 2006

I really think if someone is going to mention a name of a local business and say anything negative, they should probably state their name and mention some specific details supporting the claim, or it's probably a bunch of bologna!

[Price Gouging gas stations] Dear blind person who said gas stations were in a price war on Big Pine and Marathon and that the prices got down to near $2.80 a gallon and then raised it up almost $.10 upon Ernesto’s arrival, (that means both Big Pine and Marathon stations were fighting with each other over prices).

 I have one thing to say to you, and that is you better get your eyes checked because Big Pine's stations never got below $2.93 a gallon until Tues afternoon when Tom Thumb lowered to $2.92.  Now just how is that close to $2.80 a gallon?  Oh, that's right, almost $.10 cents. I forgot.

My apologies to Allan Church.  I am new to these 2 programs and simply got my days messed up as to which one I was listening to. When I heard White Knight with the Brown Sound, I was immediately asked, “What does it mean” prompting me to send that email. We all make mistakes, even George Bush. Don’t get yourself in a tiff, and please don’t blow a fuse.

Again my Apologies and obviously I was not paying attention to which one of the shows I heard it on. I better stick to my homeland arena. (Ed: You sure got ol’ Allen in a tizzy, all right. He’s actually been reviewing tapes and CD’s to get to the bottom of it. He’s such a nice dude that I’m sure he’ll appreciate your mea cupla.)

[Hillary the great polarizer] Either you love her or hate her, there are very few people straddling the fence. And those that hate her can’t really put a finger on why, or site an example of anything she’s done wrong. The haters speak in generalities like, “Oh, she’s this…” or, “She’s that…” , but no concrete issues of what she’s done wrong. The only group of people who love her are the NY voters. She’s a shoe-in for reelection.

I, for one, think it's a good thing that they are running these shows about Katrina a year later.  It was a catastrophic storm and it is going to take a long time for a lot of people to put their lives back together.  It's a reminder to the country that they still need help.  If it was us I bet you would welcome the coverage.   

This is Gen. S. George Patton. Yesterday’s “Patton” was George C. Scott.

Phil who?  And where did he go?

[Spare the rod, spoil the child] I would have to agree with the whole discipline issue with children.  I got my ass beat if I was out of line; nowadays Social Service's would be called.  No wonder why the kids today are so messed up and unruly.  I don't have kids yet, but I when I do I will raise them very similar to the way I was raised.  A good smack now and then keeps them in line. 

Anyone planning on going to the free concert on Sat at Mallory Square remember to bring your lawn chair and your ear plugs.

[left boat in Cudjoe Bay during a potential hurricane] Pour 2 gallons of gas in it and hit it with a flare gun.

Know how do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay him for the pizza!

How do you stop a guitar player in the Keys? Throw a cheeseburger and fries down in front of him. Some of those boys need to diet.

[You edited my email] I wrote a name specifically spelled a certain way so that person would know it was me that wrote the message. You changed the spelling and now this person will never know it was me that bid him farewell. Don't correct spelling, sometimes it is intentional.

Unfortunately the media and many of the big picture guys in Washington treat this religious war as a mere nuisance with the thought it can be negotiated away, or will soon go away of its own volition.  It will get worse before it gets better. The longer it is viewed as a nuisance instead of as war, the worse it will be when we have had enough and our self-centered politicos are forced to take drastic measures to assure our own freedom.

[Whatever happened to Ronald McDonald]  After the scandal involving Mayor McCheese and corporate’s decision to let him go, Ronald's life has taken a turn for the worse. 

[believes in beating his kids] My mom and dad never had to hit me. They just looked at me and I knew to behave! I was raised in a loving, fun, family of  5 children and we just knew to behave.  Both of my parents were hard working people and raised us to appreciate the little things in life.  We were raised with faith, morals and taught right from wrong. We were raised to respect our parents.  Maybe that’s what's missing in your family.  Don't take your anger out on your children.  Learn to manage it.  Go punch a hole in your wall instead.

What’s wrong with Cactus trees?  Someone tried to axe and then halfway pull a big cactus out of the ground on Tuesday night.  This individual really hates trees and needs to get on some kind of medication, because "cookoo" is written all over his face. 

Why is it that in jail you get time off for good behavior; and at work you just get more work for good behavior?

[Accidentally discharging a pellet gun and hitting the iguana killer’s wife's big behind] I mean, she is a stinky fatty and he loves torturing these little critters.  Better yet, when they leave, do some damage to their flowers they covet so much over the lives of natures animals. You should know that what you've been doing is working but he still kills them.  We need to give the old codger a lot more busy work.     

Coconuts. Sept 9th. FIRM  Fundraiser!

A friend of mine from Atlanta called this morning freaking out cause CNN said Key West got hammered from Ernesto and they should be up and running again by Labor Day weekend. What the…?

Ronald McDonald started doing rap-style ads for McD's, then they seem to have gradually gone more 'adult'.  I doubt he's retired, but he seems to be taking a break.

I saw Ant the drummer playing at Looe Key the other night with Moose. Ant is the best drummer in the Keys, by far! As for the rest of the show, it was ok.

I enjoyed the 'hurricane preparedness' suggestions and forwarded them around to family and friends, including those in Nebraska.

Hey, Ed, it’s Wed the 30th. (Lousy Tech Support: All right, all right, I've fixed it. It won't happen again. I downloaded a tiny program called TClockEx to always display the day, date and year. When opened, this little plug-in replaces the clock in the bottom right of your taskbar. It's free and infinitely customizable at http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,6122-order,1-page,1-c,alldownloads/description.html )

Thank you Big Piners for bringing in your trash before the storm. It's nice to see our streets and canals ship-shape.  Keep up the good work and don't forget to Vote on Tuesday! 

While the County might have it's act together by asking visitors to evacuate early, the airlines are not helping.  I had a young houseguest here who was supposed to leave Wednesday.  When I tried to change her airline reservations to an earlier flight, Continental wanted $50 to change the reservation (which I expected), and an additional $400+ to move her reservation up by one day (same flights, times, etc).  This is on top of the $550 already paid for her ticket.  Buying a new one way ticket would cost less.   We found another way out, but it still cost $150, plus $80 for the airport shuttle to Ft. Lauderdale.  So much for being able to evacuate all the tourists early.

From this great website you can find out dirty little secrets about people who live in the Keys.  Simply go to the left and click Arrest Records, then click Today, click Monroe County Clerk of the Courts, click on Public Online Records Search, read Disclaimer and scroll down to Accept, click Official Records, then type in the persons Last Name and click Submit.  There, you will discover the persons financials or in some cases, lack thereof.  

Q: How do you know if a drummer's platform is level? A: The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.

(?)Dear Mister Considerate, Mister Over-User-Of-Peoples-Names-While-You're-Talking-To-Them, Instead of your personal messages here on our website, Mr. Considerate, perhaps you could call your little friend on the telephone, Mr. Considerate, and then you could speak directly with them, Mr. Considerate, as we're all sure they'd love to hear from you, Mr. Considerate.

[How come no one has something to say to Deer Abby?] Because we don't want any feedback on our sexual problems, and we're still waiting for the Deer Mercenary link for the important stuff.

[Iguanas] Has anyone else noticed that when you shoot the dam things they don’t seem to even jump? Its like they have no nerves. I shot one six times the other day and thought I must have been missing until he started spitting up blood. After it quit moving I found all six holes in it. What type of round should I use to get a good squirming quivering death throw effect?

[Speeding on Key Deer Blvd] Come on locals, that’s us. Why do 45-50 mph? Let's set a little bit of an example and give the deer a chance too. How about your help on this…the grey jeep off Kyle blvd?

Hillary’s new world order.

Thursday August 31, 2006

Wednesday August 30, 2006

About the MCSO vehicles at the bridge.  Think about it for just a second.  First of all, the MCSO uses the Boy Scout building as a shelter.  The parking area at the Kemp Channel Bridge was reserved for MCSO vehicles only.  That's right, the cars our tax dollars paid for.  In Hurricane Wilma, the MCSO lost about 60 patrol cars.  A fully outfitted car runs around $50,000.  You do the math.  Now tell me, how many personal vehicles did you see parked there?  I sure didn't see any.  Please explain how it is an abuse of power to tape off one end of one bridge to protect county vehicles and out tax dollars?

Fighting the war against iguanas taking over our gardens is the purpose of the Iguanas Killer Club (IKC). Iguanas serve no natural purpose in the Keys except to eat our native and non-native flowers. Our members will always plant those flowers because we love flowers more than we like iguanas. This is war! Without us the island would be totally over run with those beasts. As it is they are out of control. I figure, from talking to other members, that we kill about a hundred a week. Can you imagine what these islands would be like if we weren't killing them? I say put a bounty on their carcass. Bounty's usually work.

Compared to war; all other human endeavors pale by comparison. –General George Patton

Interim County Commissioner Glenn Patton, District 5, I think you owe me (Kay Thacker) an apology.  I am neither dirty, nor mean spirited politically.  I just  happen to read the newspapers, keep the articles, attend meeting; also I have a pretty good memory.  I am one of your constituency and feel this was way out of line and irresponsible of you as our Interim County Commissioner to attack and accuse me publicly of such behavior.  I do not feel that this is the behavior becoming to an elected office, or someone I would want to vote for.  Your letter to the (KW Citizen) editor seemed vindictive, spiteful and malicious.    After all, these were your exact words verbatim, not mine that I quoted. An apology is in order.

The media's only purpose is to get more viewers. That is why they have continuous coverage of storms. They try to build fear and excitement so we will all stay tuned. They cover and recover the some old story over and over again all day and you fools watch it and work yourselves into a tizzy, playing into the media's plan.

I only check the tube at the scheduled times when the National Hurricane Center gives its periodic updates. That's the only information we need. All the rest is just rehashing of these facts. All the other spew from the TV is rehashed facts to keep you on edge. What a waste of emotion.

Will the webcam be up soon? I miss checking the weather. It’s like looking out the window. (Ed: I tried to get it running on my interim computer, but it didn’t have enough horsepower for a live camera. Coincidentally, the computer repairman came to fix our main computer yesterday. I had high hopes of running Big Pine TV, but the new mother board Dell sent him wouldn’t recognize my memory. So he sent for another one. That’s a total of two motherboards that don’t work.)

[Speaking of Tony the Tiger] Whatever happened to Ronald McDonald? I have not seen his face around in a long time.

Parking cars on high ground for a tropical storm may be a little paranoid.  But, that's to be expected after Wilma.  Kudos to the Sheriffs for protecting the cars I helped pay for.  Patrol cars are too expensive to sacrifice for a crybaby. 

[Beer is good for you] Too funny. That made my day.

[Big ugly brown creature that keeps crapping on my dock and eating my neighbors' plants] I sure hope you are not talking about my neighbor's fat wife. Shooting her with your piss-ant pellet gun would just make her mad.

Do we really have to hear about Katrina any more? And I'm really getting sick of seeing pictures of that creepy JonBenet pervert, Carr. I would dump the TV tomorrow, but my wife won't let me. She has her "shows."  Maybe I'll dump her and hang out at the library.

I smell a rat!  Someone else edited BPK.com Tuesday.  I can just tell.  It's pretty funny though.

[Free Concert] This Saturday evening, Sept 2, as the sun sinks down into the ocean (7:30ish) MileMarker 24 Band is having another free concert at Mallory Square in Key West. We’ve got the whole band back on the stage including the Banana Man Horn Section and some special guests.  So grab your lawn chairs and consider yourself invited to our Labor Day weekend party.

Dremel makes a real nice kit for sharpening chainsaw blades.  You can buy it in at the home Depot in Marathon. 

Cashing your pay check costs you gas and time. Have your employer do an auto deposit into your checking or savings account straight from his company account. It doesn't matter which banks have the accounts. I do this and it saves me gas, travel, and time. Also there's no "float" time between your earnings and your account interest.

[Ending sentences with, You know what I mean] Why does Hillary Clinton do that?

What do you suggest Americans do to stop this war and end this war racket; become French?

[The guy with the $5 at Bank of America] Duh, do you think they might have been trying to have you open an account; in which case you would have had $5 for doing nothing?  Let us say 500 local doofusses came in and cashed that check. How long do you think they would continue to be a bank doing good business like that? “Duh, I don't know boss, but it wuz enough for a pack of smokes and a draft.”

[Roofing companies] I wanted to tell everyone about Keys Roofing. The crew was unbelievably professional. I have been waiting for quite a few months for them to put my roof on. I got a metal roof and months ago, the metal roofing material was delivered. I though, “Oh, boy, they will be here soon”, but unfortunately mother nature is in control and it started raining and of course companies get behind. So finally, last Thursday they arrived. It had been sunny for weeks and on that day it rained all morning long and they waited for hours for it to stop and it didn’t. In the mean time, here comes Hurricane Ernesto. Well, here came Keys Roofing also. They showed up bright and early Friday morning and worked on my roof all day. They said they would be back on Monday. Unbelievably, they were at my house again, bright and early on Monday morning during a hurricane watch and put my roof on. They stayed until it was finished. I kind of felt bad that they were at my house and not at there house with their family getting ready for a hurricane. When they left, they cleaned up so good that I couldn't find anything on the ground that would make you think a roofing company had been there. Their number is 305-451-5678. I want to thank them for taking care of my home. I would recommend them highly! 

[Saturday in the Islands] Actually you were listening to "A Soulful Sunday" with Alan Church.," The White Knight with The Brown Sound".  Pay attention.

How do you stop a guitar player?  Throw down some sheet music in front of him!

As expected, that inconsiderate schmuck has left his boat in Cudjoe Bay during a potential hurricane. This boat has broken loose three times already, and if we get strong enough winds will break loose again. What an idiot!  

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give more than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?

Here it is again; beer is good for you. http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf

Paying employees in cash is only done when the employer has hired people off the books. My comment was made because people here have a hard time cashing their pay checks. If you are a good business person why can't the bank you are dealing with extend a courtesy and cash your check for your employee?

I blew over a plastic bag display at the Winn Dixie in Big Pine Key today. I never saw the employees come to the aisle and move so fast to set the thing back up into the way again!  I wondered as I stood in lines about five deep in every "open" register, “Why, oh, why do they not have that employee running a register to be able to get people out of the store faster?”  I mean to tell you I have never seen someone work so fast at that store in my entire life!

[Regarding the new listener to BPK.com]  Ed, are you holding out on the audio locally?

[Peak of Hurricane Season] That was just hysterical, unfortunately very true!  Thanks for the laughs.

Thank you for reading (Kay Thacker). Show me the way to say less; you know I am blonde and female. How do you get the full content if you say it in fewer words? Help.

[Monroe County Law Enforcement Vehicles Parked At Kemp Channel Bridge]  The only cars I saw parked there were the ones I paid for with my tax dollars.  Good thinking Sheriff Roth. Thanks for protecting our neighborhoods and our assets.  The person complaining is a selfish, self centered person who is obviously only thinking of himself.

[Price gouging during weather alerts] Last week gas finally went down then it was like a mini-price war every day until BPK and Marathon were close to $2.80 for regular. Then Ernesto became a factor and gas was immediately raised in anticipation of everyone filling up.

If a business sells $1000 generators for $1800 or more because people are desperate for power--that's called price gouging and is illegal; like $5 bags of ice.

So if gas stations raise rates by 10 cents a gallon during a storm event, how much extra money is that and why hasn't it been questioned?

The media made a big deal of price gouging after Andrew, Katrina and Wilma. “Authorities are looking for price gougers” and it’s right in front of their eyes!

[Long winded hurricane tome]  I'm not sure what the point of that was.  If there's any place on the planet where people are self sufficient enough to deal with natural disasters, it's the Keys.  Maybe it would help the folks in New Orleans?  No wait, they don't prepare or evacuate for hurricanes.  They just sit around and wait for the government to do it all for them.  By the way, when is Ed coming back?

Thanks to the poster of the Kemp bridge fiasco (Cop cars). I noticed and made a note to write that I believe that move is illegal.  Time did not allow me to write, but great minds think alike.  I hope those cars are safe from a surge.

You got out in the nick of time. Good luck Phil, you'll be missed.

I have to agree that children today are just plain rotten. Since I am 55, I grew up when you could discipline your children. I have two; ages 35 and 30 and they got their ass whipped as needed. Guess what? It only happened a couple of times in their adolescence because they were raised right in the beginning. They were raised with rules of our house and that has gone on to rules and laws of our country.  I believe that it goes back to how you are raised. I am a proud mother of two very capable adults with their own families.

Wednesday August 30, 2006

Tuesday August 29, 2006

To: former Floridians, current Floridians, future Floridians, and/or those who know a Floridian. We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points: There is no need to panic; and we could all be killed!
 
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one." Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan: 1.Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days. 2. Put these supplies into your car. 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Thanksgiving.
 
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. So we'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: Homeowners insurance. If you own a home, you must have hurricane  insurance.  Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: It is reasonably well-built, and it is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that  might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance because then they might be required to pay you money and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.
 
So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Andrew I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.
 
Shutters: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and if it's a major hurricane, all the toilets. There are several types of shutters with advantages and disadvantages.

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
 
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
 
Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection. They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds. You can be sure of this because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.
 
Hurricane proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.  You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.
 
Evacuation route: If you live in a low-lying area you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida" you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees.  So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
 
Hurricane supplies: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies.  Do not buy them now.  Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of Spam.
 
In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23 flashlights, at least $167 worth of batteries that turn out to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. Nobody knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so get some!). A 55 gallon drum of underarm deodorant. A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there will be irate alligators.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on
 your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers standing right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is
 for everybody to stay away from the ocean. Good luck and remember: its great living in paradise. Those of you who aren't here yet you should come. Really! See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time."

A special thanks to all the people, my friends and family; that make me feel loved.  I will miss you but I'll be back, rest assured. I love you man!  --Philo

Hello US1 radio. I was listening to one of your Saturday music programs, namely Jammin’ Jim: Saturday in the Islands. He mentioned that he is the "white knight with the brown songs.” Is there white songs too? I had to chuckle at his comment. I’m not sure what to make of it. Where I am from music is music. Who sang or wrote it is irrelevant as long as all of society enjoys it. Music has no color you know, or does it?

[heavily censored IKC critic]  Your post was too much.  I laughed the whole time I was reading it.  Any IKC wannabes or potential recruits should check out www.pyramydair.com for the best selection of air guns and scopes available anywhere.  I ordered mine last week and they shipped the same day UPS ground.  I can't wait to eliminate the big ugly brown creature that keeps crapping on my dock and eating my neighbors' plants.  He's toast the next time he trespasses and I've already had requests from the neighbors to let them try out their marksmanship. 

Let's hope that we can all read BigPineKey.com tomorrow. This website is just as entertaining as a great magazine.

I quit fooling around with one of those iguana killers and I have to tell you that he had a very large appendage and wasn't a drunk at all.  Just a creepy iguana killer who was very mis-informed. 

Pluto is now classified as a dwarf planet.  NASA has launched a probe that will arrive there in about 9 1/2 years.  I wonder if the images it sends back will show Grumpy, Sneezy, Happy, Doc, Bashful, Sleepy and Dopey aka "Dubya".

A new listener to your program. I Hope Ernesto passes you all by and heads into the Atlantic.

Oh goodie we’re bashing drummers. Q: How do you know if there’s a drummer knocking at your door? A: He speeds up and doesn’t know when to come in.

Has anyone else noticed that MC Sheriff's Office has roped off the east side of the Kemp channel bridge for their exclusive use as a parking lot should a storm surge become a factor when Ernesto passes the Keys?  I wonder if we'll see their personal vehicles parked there as well.  This reeks of abuse of power to commandeer a public right of way for exclusive use by public employees.

While watching ESPN I have seen ads for Frosted Flakes. Now is it just me or is Tony the Tiger more muscular. Actually he is down right huge. Do you think that he has taken steroids to keep up with other breakfast cereal icons? Maybe he has the same trainer as Barry Bonds.

[Classified ad mail] This is not a classified ad, I just wanted to get your attention!

It's hard to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic just because she lives in your body!

How come everyone today is too much of a pussy to smack their kids around? That's what I want to know: why are parents afraid to beat their kids? When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my ass. We didn't have a conversation about it. I didn't have a "time out." In fact, I've never even once been grounded in my life. What's the point? Send your kid to his room and make him play video games and read comic books all day? Great idea, why don't you take him to a psychiatrist while you're at it so she can pull some disorder out of her ass to hide the fact that you're a bad parent?

Kids today need a good beating every now and then. If you don't beat your kids when they fall out of line, the next thing you know your son will go off and torch his school teacher, just out of spite. You tell them to clean their room, they say "no," you smack them. It's simple; it works. Don't listen to these assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble; if they had it their way, every child would be raised in a pastel colored room with Philip Glass pumped through the speakers 24 hours a day.

The problem is that kids today think their opinions matter. Until they're old enough, it's only the parents' opinion that should matter.

I really like reading Kay Thacker’s opinions. I wish that there were a few more civic minded people who would watch our local political issues. My only complaint is that she’s too long winded. I’m a member of the MTV generation and only have a short attention span, kind of like a goldfish.

[Blue wall of silence] I can say first-hand the "Code of Blue" still remains.  Internal Affairs is only there to cover-up for their "brothers" mistakes.  I went to IA…it didn't work. 

War is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the most vicious activity of man. It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small "inside" group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few, at the expense of the very many. Out of the war a few people make huge fortunes. New millionaires and billionaires are created in a war. How many of these war millionaires shouldered a rifle? How many of them dug a trench? How many of them were wounded or killed in battle? Out of war, if nations acquire additional territory, they just take it. This newly acquired territory is exploited by the few-- the self-same few who wrung dollars out of blood in the war. The general public shoulders the bill. And what is this bill? This bill renders a horrible accounting. Newly placed grave stones. Mangled bodies. Shattered minds. Broken hearts and homes. Economic instability. Depression and all its attendant miseries. Back-breaking taxation for generations and generations. Truly, war is a racket.

[Bank of America.] Revenge is sweet. Open an account, for $100. The next day withdraw all but $1 and never use it again. You can do this many times, and they will have to carry the accounts for a year, minimum. They screw-a-you, you-a-screw-a them.

[“Well…”] At least all of Ray Nagin's answers didn’t end with "You know what I mean?"

[You can’t fight city hall] The hell you can't, you pay them; they work for you! They have it set up so it makes for a real pain in the ass to impeach or fire a bum in office. Why? Get real, they are on their side, not yours. A lot of bad publicity in the papers works well (if the paper isn't bought out by the politicos). Simple pole signs from your printer work.

How come no one has something to say to Deer Abby?

Tropical storm Ernesto is coming. Quick, everybody to Schooner's Warf for the first hurricane party of the year!

Before I opened an account with Bank of America I asked them why I must pay the $5 fee and the teller informed me that when employers sign up for a business account they have the option of waving the $5 fee or having them charge for it. I’m not sure if this is true or not. I now have an account with Bank of America and I’m very happy with the services provided as well as convenience. Did you know that you can go anywhere in America and find a Bank of America.

You’re right! I have never seen any pictures of KKK lynching without the KKK members wearing a hood. But have you noticed that the terrorist also mask their faces? Also interestingly enough, the police wear masks when they’re making raids and breaking down doors?

This is for all who have believed in our community.  Price gouging after a hurricane is not to be limited to water and generators alone.  Shortly after hurricane Wilma, my husband and I traded in our vehicle to Niles Sales and Service trusting in their honesty toward locals pitch.  Six months later we discovered that they pulled the wool over our eyes with their "Honest" deal.  Our one year old vehicle is now worth over $10,000 less than what we were told it was worth the day of purchase.  Even our bank told us that we got hosed. My advice on any purchase of a vehicle from Niles is: buyer beware.

[Employers should pay in cash] That’s one of the most stupid comments I’ve heard on this site. As a contractor I’d love to get paid is cash, or gold. Yeah, gold would be better! I could just break off small chunks of the gold bar to pay my employees. The theory of capitalism is that companies operate for a profit. You go to work for profit, why shouldn’t banks make a profit? Wake up and join the human race you barnacle.   

Lisa, Kathy and Carla as well as Andy and Chris make Bank of America a real local bank. Don't be fooled by Bubba. Don't even try to tell me your horror stories. I'll just remind you of these people.

(?)Gossip is a real killer of egomaniac politicians, especially around erection (yes) time! Sour jokes go around super fast. Email is perfect to down a dope. Get the bums out and get people in those maintenance offices to work for you!

(?)What's so hard about putting it back up if you're so considerate?

Tuesday August 29, 2006

Monday August 28, 2006

[Ernesto] Trash pick-up will not happen on Wednesday, so store your cans accordingly along with your recycles so they don't toss all over the neighborhood.  For those of you who have still have heavy trash pick-up, they may come out and get it before the storm if you call Waste Management at 296-8297.  We haven't enjoyed looking at your unsightly garbage for a month and now it could fly through your home, or someone else's as punishment.  If you see your neighbor has vacated and has left trash cans out or possible dangerous projectiles it would be smart to store them somewhere secure.  Hope this one fizzles out.  Good luck everybody! 

CNN was on Duval St this morning showing how empty the streets were due to the tourist evacuation. For cripes sake, don’t they realize that it’s only 8am and the streets are always empty until the stores and bars open. TV sensationalism is alive and well. Where’s Jim Cantore to show CNN how sensationalism is really done?

I had a $5 check that was from Bank of America. I was at that bank with a friend so I tried to cash it. Because I didn’t have an account they charged me $5. I let them keep the $5 and I will never darken their doorway again. It cost me $5 to do business with them for nothing. Because Bank of America is so large they can charge more fees than any other bank and give you less then any other bank. My accounts are with small local banks that give you many freebees that the big guys won’t.

Someone suggests going to internal affairs if you have a problem with a cop and you won’t be target for retribution. Ha. Cops are some of the most vengeful people around, they have guns and they have all the power which we all know corrupts. The writer also suggested that you can sue them while the cops ruin your life. Ha, some satisfaction?

How about lettuce in a can for the latest dumb idea? I had my mind set on a salad. I had feta cheese, red onion, ripe avocado and some Italian spiced ham (I can’t spell capacola.) I went to the crisper for the lettuce and, Bam! No lettuce. So in closing, committee, I’d like you to put lettuce on you canned wish list. They could use sardine cans for the lettuce leafs, Hell, why not spinach leafs too?

[The aisles at WD] I shopped at WD on Saturday and went up and down all but one isle and didn't have any problem getting thru. Maybe you ought to drop a few pounds off your lard ass and you could make it thru.

How to tell if there’s a terrorist at the airport.

To the guy who is whizzing in the bathroom sink.  What a scary thought.  I wonder if other men do this?  What a disgusting thing to do. Thoughtless of others not only your wife but also yourself, and guests who use your bathroom sink.  What is so hard about putting a toilet set down just to be considerate?

Once again I woke up to the Cone of Confusion and this time it's due to a tropical storm

To the guy whose boss makes payroll checks drawn on the Bank of America. Open an account, put some money in and you won't be able to complain. That’s their plan.

[A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds] Still longer than most Politicians!

A drummer has an attention span of two seconds.

You can’t beat city hall. On top of that, rats (squealers) are one of the lowest people on the planet and nobody hates a rat more than a police officer.

This board serves a good purpose. It brings ideas to light that would have otherwise not been heard. The way police officers drive will now be more scrutinized by local citizens which seemed to be the whole point. What’s wrong with anonymously criticizing organizations it seems to be kind of fun and democratic? 

[Nothings Safe] I agree. Here's what I got at the Hilton in KW.

Get geared up and pray Ernesto keeps turning north. I just saw the Weather Channel (2:30 Sunday) and had the center of the possible area just about over Big Pine! Gosh, I hope those old mountains of Cuba break it up like they usually do.  Good Luck down there and we'll be praying for you. 

[George Hamilton with a mole] He's over 100 I think. He was a high priced gigolo for most of his career. "Big" George was his name.

[Winn Dixie has new wheels on their shopping carts] So you can weave in and out of those freaking isle blocking displays of junk food.

Sunday, August 27, 2006.  It is Sunday. (Ed: Oops, it felt like Saturday.)

Banks, bread in a can, wd aisles. what about cats in a hat?

[The International Astronomical Union recently downgraded Pluto] How much was the government grant for this comedy act? These guys must use Pluto-nium Vaseline, for sure! 

It looks as if Al Gore is right again. We humans have caused global warming and we are going to pay for our sins again with Ernesto. You can be sure Al is a happy camper now that we have a full blown hurricane. It gives him more ammunition for his crusade.

Ray Nagin, New Orleans’ mayor, was interview Sunday and every answer he gave began with, “Well…”

[afraid the cops will target you.  In this day and age of lawsuits, those excuses don't fly.] Yeah, right. We live in Payton Place where everybody knows everything about everybody. Try living in the Keys with a cop that you just red flagged with Internal Affairs. Your ass is his.

What the heck is a "soul-puss?" Is this like a soul patch only lower? I gots to know. 

I think the employers ought to pay in cash, or reimburse the employee fees if they have to pay to get their pay check cashed at the boss’s bank. If I were a business person I would only deal with a bank that will cash the employee’s checks for free. Some states have a law that an employer must provide a system to cash your pay check. That rule may apply here. Check with the labor board.

[Palmettos] If they are Silver thatched ones you will get 30 days in the electric chair on low, they will keep an EMT on the site in case your heart stops, they will re-start it and lower the volts. If not, try rapping a chain around the base and using your truck or car to pull them out. Remember, now, they are old and dead.

[Heavily censored] Dear IKC, We are looking to become a loyal member of the KKK and IKC. As we, unfortunately, were unable to join the KFC as Colonel Sanders wouldn’t have us.

Please let us know where and when your small group meets next? We believe we saw your group recently dressed in pink at the pansy bar in Key West last weekend. It's too bad tough guy red necks in pink dresses who have small penises have nothing better to do than to spew ridiculous stories about how you supposedly hunt, track, and ambush, defenseless vegetarian lizards, who have absolutely no defense mechanisms what so ever, other than to run and hide and hope your childishly cruel hoaxes end simply with you falling as you drunkenly stumble in hot pursuit.

See you later cutie pie, and remember, we got our eye on you, and most of all, on that big fat honey of yours you left at home in your trailer while you and your supposed boyfriends go out hunting. And if you want to talk tough, you chump, try doing it with your hood off.

If you do not know how to sharpen a chainsaw blade, do your self a favor put down the saw.  Home Depot or Sears should sell the proper  sharpening set and files. But, again, you really should know something that basic before you use one.

What is BPTV?

[$5 to cash a check at Bank of America] First, I agree they’re a rip off. However, instead of whining you can fix your problem. One option is to see if your employer will direct deposit. BOA offers free checking if you have direct deposit. Then get an ATM card. Check it out. Secondly, figure a way you don’t have to be so desperate that you need the money immediately. It’s called a cushion. There are so many whiners that don’t understand that life’s not fair, it isn’t, but if you use your noggin there are many ways to beat the fee mongers.  Of course, if you have a civil judgment against you and need to live under the radar, that’s the type of fees, you will live with forever. I hope that isn’t your case.

I had this dream last night. The Big Pine House of Music was open again in all of its former glory. Pure white light shown down from heavenly spotlights on the roof and everyone in the audience was transformed and transfixed by the scene. And then Elvis and Angus Bangus himself descended from a cloud down into the back yard and began to play on the stage. Kathleen looked like an angel and sang like one too. Even the Local Drunks backup chorus sang like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It was a moment I'll never forget.

[Candidates are two faced] Are you having real problems with candidates who have been on record doing one thing then while running for election are saying and doing another?  I have been conversing with voters and they are sharing some of the same apprehensions; and questions that I have.  Just for instance Glenn Patton on Feb. 18, 2006 in an email to Governor Bush, DCA and others stated that he being chairman of the Key Largo Waste Water Board supported (de-) designation from Area of Critical State Concern, as was reported in the newspapers; now he is saying and I quote from a forum in Big Pine Key “The designation of critical concern has done well and I do support it”. Which is it, Glenn (?) (Are you) for or against ACSC?  Murphy (stated, “Peer reviewed the Carrying Capacity Study produced by Army Corp of Engineers, at the cost of 6 million dollars said “has hit maximum capacity for the islands infrastructure five years ago” George Neugent agrees “the capacity of the Keys according to the CCS has exceeded its upland habitat capacity.”. Glenn Patton said “he did not believe the county was at its carrying capacity in reality, that there is room for more growth, and the science of the carrying capacity study was flawed”.  Who is telling us the truth?

 Glenn Patton made a motion at the Commission meeting of July 7, 2006; “that all of the $18 million of the state wastewater funding to Monroe County should come to Key Largo” then the next BOCC meeting of August 16, 2006; he votes for a Tom Willi proposed split of the money, while saying at least 9 million dollars should go to Key Largo”. Which is it Glenn? I know Neugent has wanted a Tom Willi proposed split at both meetings?  Why would you vote one way at one meeting then flip to the complete opposite at the next meeting?  I find this very confusing, but I am blonde. He also supports spending 8 million plus on the Murray Nelson Government Building in Key Largo, that will require $500,000 annually in operations and maintenances costs.  Then votes at that same meeting to fire the contractors who were going to build the government center?   Non homesteaded properties and businesses beware you’ll be picking up the tab for all of this. I have just identified; a few of the distressing discretions of Mr. Patton that fellow voters and I have been experiencing in trying to determine  the right candidate to vote for.  Are there others out there feeling the same confusion and uncertainties that I am; before going to the polls to vote for these candidates?

“They've been cutting back on real actors for a long time,”--Leslie Nielsen

Deer Editor, Thank you for having two Saturdays this week. I woke up and said, "Gee, I do not have to go to church!"

FEMA's Blueprint for Martial Law in America. http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=ROL20060820&articleId=3010

Head On, apply directly to the forehead (repeat two more times). Have you got a headache yet? Don't they understand if they annoy me I just won't buy it?  Another one that gives me the willies is the guy that sells Oxyclean.  He makes me stand up and mute the TV without using my knees. All I can hear is, "Hi I'm Billy M,,,,,"  This stuff is frightening. Is there a 12 step program?

[Don't shoot the messenger] But you might as well leave BPTV on for a while.

How can people vote early when at any time news might appear that ruins a candidate? I want to wait until the last minute to vote just in case of breaking news. I can see voting early if you’ll be out of town on Election Day, but voting to avoid a line at the polls is not a good reason. Plus how many times have you had to wait longer than a few minutes to vote?

Chain link will break your heart every time.

Monday August 28, 2006

(Saturday, corrected on Monday 8/28) Saturday August 27, 2006

Philo's Heading for Georgia! Hey everyone, there will be a "Philo going away party" at the Tiki on Sunday (today) the 27th anytime after 6pm. He is leaving for Georgia at the end of the month and his last gig with Jason is Tuesday at the Tiki from 7-11pm. So, Party on at the Tiki, stop by and say your goodbyes. I am sure he will be back to visit, but we, unfortunately, don't know when. Better be there!

[Nothings Safe] When I’m on a road trip and need to connect my laptop to the internet I pull into a motel parking lot and use their wireless network. If its password protected I go to the next motel’s parking lot.

Will Hurricane Ernesto prompt Ed to turn Big Pine TV back on?

I’ve been trying to cut down some of the dead palmettos and the chain saw blade dulls up right away. The same thing happens with my sawzall blades. What’s the trick to cutting palms? I know the reason they dull blades so much. It’s because palms are in the grass family. They are a fibrous plant where a tree is made of wood and generally easy to cut. Does anyone sharpen chainsaw blades in the Keys?

Oh, no! There are only eight planets in our solar system. There used to be nine. The International Astronomical Union recently downgraded Pluto to a cartoon dog saying it was too small to be a planet. Woof! They called it a lesser planet.

I don’t see anything wrong with that old Good Housekeeping article. That was when wives were “housewives” now they’re “homemakers”. They still don’t know their place.

George Hamilton is the only male star who has a mold on his kisser. So many famous woman have moles that I almost think that it’s a prerequisite to being a star. Now George Hamilton comes along with a mole. Is he some sort of a sissy?

Why, oh, why does it cost me $ 5.00 to cash a check that the money is already in the Bank of America bank? My employer already has put my wages in this stupid bank and now they charge me to get my own money! This I don’t get at all. Is this a crime or what? And always after they ask, “ Do you want to open an account with us, sir?” Now, after being treated like this, what bank thinks I would give them my money unless I had to?

Now it all makes sense!  Some men simply cannot get it up and then they walk around with "that look" on their face and they do and say mean things.  I feel sorry for the wives, because that's the main purpose of keeping a man around the house.  My suggestion is Viagra or show Mister soul-puss the door.

Shipping pallets are 48 x 40 inches. The size was standardized in the 1930s to facilitate shipping throughout the world. Bet you didn’t now that. Also, did you know that, until his death in the 80’s, the man who invented the 55 gallon drum lived in Key West?

Under the jihadists' code of vigilante justice, local informants suspected of supplying tips to Westerners are almost instantly and publicly executed. We, on the other hand, flay ourselves over targeted wiretaps.

Good news! Winn  Dixie has new wheels on their shopping carts, please no speeding in the store.

[Let's talk about banks for the next ten days] Well, its not as important as bread in a can, but ok.

Making anonymous insults is cowardly.  If you have a problem with an organization, go to the root of the problem or nothing will be done.  You are complaining about cops.  Have you tried going to their Internal Affairs and filing a complaint on the specific officer?  Let me guess, you did and nothing was done.  Or, you're afraid the cops will target you.  In this day and age of lawsuits, those excuses don't fly.

The aisles at WD are the same; still blocking so you can't shop.  They are loosing business because they are so insistent about keeping those displays. No wonder people are going to other stores.

[Boogyman] I have a Bogie Monster CD.

Maybe it’s time to crank up BPTV or are you still using the abacus-like antique computer?

Thank you Steve, Holly, Katherine, and our good luck girl Mary!

To the person commenting about the bad service received at Keys Federal Credit Union.  I had a bad time with them also.  I applied for a loan with them and not only did they turn me down, but their agent insulted my husband and I in our home with an uncalled for remark after notifying us that our loan was turned down. We ended getting the loan elsewhere with no problem.  I couldn't believe what arrogance they had.  

[Logging in park turned down] How do you log into the Sequoia National park?

Did you ever notice how many mug shots are for violation of probation? These kids, as you call them, are there because they chose to be. If you don't break the law chances are you won't get a record.

[child size doll] Step away from the pipe.

[Sofa King low price] Man, I got it the first time. Now I just feel like a lowlife.

If you lost a tool out of your car Saturday afternoon around 2 pm on Little Torch, please call 872-1857. I am holding it for you.

[Brazilian pepper problem] All the time I have lived in the Keys I haven't been bothered by this problem at all. It's never panhandled me, bit me, asked me to buy it a drink, or kept me up all night barking; so what's the big problem?

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

Not all grass is indigenous to the Keys, but some are.  Grass has been down here before you were.  Humans are the ones who are not indigenous.

Happily, not many of us in The Keys will be buying the horrific furs which are "fashionable" this Fall: http://www.furisdead.com/index.asp

Saturday August 27, 2006

Saturday August 26, 2006

Thursday I saw an announcement here for jazz at the senior center at 11 am. I thought it odd, but I live close by, so I went. Well, I must say that it was the most fun I’ve ever had at 11 in the morning. Mike Gillis, one of my favorite jazz guitarist played and was accompanied by Gordy Michaels on piano. They weren’t good, they were great! I hadn’t heard a live jazz guitarist in years. It was nourishment for my soul. Gordy Michaels can sure play the keyboards; and oh, what a voice. He did a swell job on Somewhere Over the Rainbow and an old Nat King Cole song, There Was a Boy (I think).  I wonder why they hadn’t advertised that these guys were going to give a one hour free concert except for the notice on Kudos which only appeared one hour before they played. There was only me and the secretary and the two cooks there. It was like having a cool jazz duo in your living room. The crowd increased latter when the gas man made a delivery. Mike Gillis will be playing at the Tiki Bar soon. I forget when.

An Actual 1955 Good Housekeeping article.

The stuff I’ve read about cops on this site are from experiences and not “opinions or beliefs”. Where else but here can you say something about what cops do without them finding out who you are and making it their mission to get you for anything they can or just hassle you because they can?  I don’t think it is coward-like to remain anonymous while informing others when you consider the consequences.  Who cares what the names of the people speaking out are? They aren’t acting tough, they’re just disgusted.

[Bread in a can] Since, as I'm sure you know, you are one in a million and your needs are one in ten million, you won't see this until your needs are one in a thousand. I'd like to see pie in a can. Any pie, blueberry, pumpkin, key lime, etc.

[What has Bush done] He tried to log in the Giant Sequoia National Park is what he’s done, but a judge ruled this week that he can’t log there because his management plan for the forest was scientifically suspect. The liberals have won one.

A good name for a rap guy would be Boogieman.

I've been reading Deer Abby for forever, well since it started last month and I love it!    When it first started it was true to the "advanced reviews."  Now it seems to have diminished sarcasm and wit.  While the advice is good, I liked Abby much better as a smart ass. (Ed: Will the troubled souls still send in their problems if they know they are going to be ridiculed?)

I threw some chocolate into my neighbor's yard for the yip-yap dogs per a reader's comment yesterday, but the guy's fat wife knocked the crap out of the two mutts getting to the candy before they could. I am not sure if this is what was supposed to happen, but the end result was the same. The only problem is that I now have his wife whining for me to throw more candy into the yard. Maybe I will toss a Thighmaster over the fence and hope for the best.

The aisles at W/D are still blocked and annoying as hell to shop there. Wake up W/D. You say you are getting better.  Stop telling us. Show us. 

Okay, so I compacted my Outlook Express, where in the hell do I find the archives?  Yes, I am someone who should not have purchased a computer, however, here I am. (Lousy tech support: File>Archive)

Regarding Rob's Island Grill. It is not closed down, or wasn't last week when I ate there. Enjoyed a nice prime rib. Rob is on vacation as is Rachel but the staff is doing just fine and the place was open as usual for business.

World War II was when America peaked. We’ve never been so together. It was awesome. It’ll never happen again, but what a time it was!

How can anyone take the position that all we have to do is bring our troops home from Iraq, sit back, reset the snooze alarm, go back to sleep, and no one will ever bother us again?

Is Bank of America located on Big Pine Key?  Business Directory >Banks

[Nothings Safe]  This is new news to you?  When I am working on my wireless in KW, I normally connect thru someone else computer.  If there is not a WEP key open for anyone to get into.

If a Muslim sees a naked woman, they're supposed to kill themselves.  You’ve got to love the Marines!

[The barker collar is humane.]  BS! I've seen the ripped open wounds on dogs, so don't tell me those collars are none destructive. Just like screaming kids, if you can't control your "pets" you shouldn't have them.

[Tipping when flowers are delivered]  Whoever sent you those flowers should have paid the gratuity when the flowers were purchased.  I usually ask the delivery person if that was done, if not I'll tip them. 

[Another reason for Sirius satellite radio] You can listen from any computer too. Commercial free music, uncut, unedited and something for everybody. Hell, you can even hear Mustang Sally or Hotel California 25 times in a day if you want too. Or not!. Best money I ever spent, but then, I am in my car hours on end every day.

[There are several kinds of grass indigenous to the Keys and they don’t harbor mosquitoes.] What Keys do you live on? Must be around Haiti, eh? Grass is not indigenous to the Keys; and as far as not harboring mosquitoes, take a nap on your lawn at dusk.

[The Sloan Report] Last night was The Keynoter's Candidates Forum in the Marathon Government Center. First tossed into the big iron skillet were...Long Winded Tomes

Coffee purveyors take note. After years of putting up with crap that gets passed off as coffee, I can't believe I can finally get an excellent café con leche. A little cute place called Summerland Foods or Sugarloaf food or something. Why can't you get a decent coffee like that everywhere?

I agree with the comment about employees at First State Bank in the Big Pine Winn Dixie always talking and gossiping while you are waiting in line. The Key West branches are much more efficient.

[Pitbull lover] This is from an animal lover of all, but the pitbull breed should be eradicated.  I was attacked and chewed up by one just by walking out my door. They were bred to kill, so watch your back.  That dumb comment you made just let us all know your an idiot.

 Yeah, I have to agree that Bank of America is best.  TIB is the worst.

I had to read it 3 times before I got it right. Only in New York City.

[Degrading PMS song] To all the woman out there. This sounds like Dolly Parton singing:  http://www.badgirl1.com/PMS.htm   Sound on!

[Good Bank] I stepped into the new Keys Federal the other day and thought I would open an account and get a free cooler. They have a lot of free services that I was not getting at my other local bank. .But the two employees were too busy gossiping among themselves. The young man was shoveling peanut butter cups in his mouth and drinking cola, the lady was spread out like a day at the beach. No one made eye contact or acknowledged I was there, so I left. That was a little too laid-back, even for the Keys, for me. I went to my bank and I mentioned what happened and guess what? They gave me all the free services I was looking for. A bird in the hand is better then one in the bush. Is that what they say?

Brazilian pepper is a giant problem in the Keys. There is as much Brazilian pepper on Big Pine Key now as there was twenty years ago. Because of the intense hurricane activity last year and the storm surge from Wilma, Brazilian pepper has taken a large leap forward in colonizing natural areas, home sites, rights of way, and disturbed areas.

USFWS has spent over $ 700,000 in our area on invasive exotic control in the last decade. Much of this money was spent on large tracts of Australian pine along  US1. USFWS has had a few great exotic techs working hard out in field in the last few years doing a good job. The USFWS program has been incoherent and ineffective in dealing with Brazilian pepper overall. Drive around Sands Subdivision or even Eden Pines and it looks a lot like those areas in Sarasota or Martin county. At this stage of the game we should be just about Brazilian pepper free on Big Pine Key. After all its only a 6000 acre island, 65% of which is a National Wildlife Refuge , 90% of which never had Brazilian Pepper. 

The Nature Conservancy has received enormous sums of public money to do invasive exotic plant removal on Big Pine Key. It would be very interesting to know how this money is being spent. I am sure they are being well paid for their efforts.  

[There have been some truly hateful comments] This is true, because most of us see things clearly and not through a fog bank, like most dreamers do. Reality is a tough act, so if there is something we see that isn't right, we bitch about it to inform others. If people cannot grasp the point, shame on you!

[Winn Dixie. Has anyone tried the ram-the-display trick] We are all scared of the eye in the ceiling (cameras).

I am sick and tired of the Leftist, Rightist, Democrat, Republican back and forth crap. What ever happened to individualism and freedom of choice? Seems everybody has to belong or you are out of it.  People ask, who are you voting for, what religion are you, what political party, etc? I answer, “None.” They go into shock! Brainwashed nitwits, all.

This Halloween, get a child size doll, dress it up in a costume with a hood or something to cover the doll head, then put a mask over the costumed head. Nobody can tell that it’s a doll. They all think it’s a trick or treater. This guy did it and he had a doll that held out a bag for candy. The guy took it around the neighborhood and knocked on doors. Almost no one noticed that the “kid” didn’t move when the people were gushing about , “Oh, I’m so scared. Who can that be? Is it a real monster?” stuff. What a cool joke.

Daily report from David Lynch. http://www.davidlynch.com/dailyreport/  (Ed: I couldn’t connect so look at your own risk.)

Saturday August 26, 2006

Friday August 25, 2006

[Bread in a can] I can’t get over how you I ask a question on here and get answers so far fetched. Let me break it down in Keys terms: I’m drunk and hungry and I’ve got plenty of cooked iguana tail in the fridge, but there’s no bread to make a sandwich. I’m too drunk to drive to the store. I want to make a sandwich with white bread. Bread in a can would be the easy answer.

And you people think it is expensive to live in the Keys! The most expensive homes in the world:  http://realestate.msn.com/Buying/Articleforbes.aspx?cp-documentid=742618&GT1=8479

I tried to hear some online music from the computer and all I succeeded in getting was a bunch of ads. I went to two “stations” and I couldn’t find any way to hear music, but I could buy a whole bunch of stuff and see a whole lot of musician’s names that I clicked on and no music came out. it seems some of these sites are more interested in advertising then music.

[Nothings Safe] Last week in NY city, the police caught a kid (about 17) with a wireless laptop.  He was reading and modifying the data in a small company’s computer system from an auto parked outside the building. He told authorities, he downloaded the hacker program from the web, and just wanted to see if it worked. The program modifies the wireless receiver to allow pick up from any other wireless source, anywhere within range. This was kept out of the news for obvious reasons.

[A great bank] Try Marine Bank here on Big Pine. They’re the best! Anita and all the other great folks who work there are always pleasant and helpful.

Just to let everyone know that we at Sun Communications in Big Pine Key no longer repair Nextel, or Sprint phones.  Our Key West location is able to service and repair your Nextel and Sprint phones, and we stock all of the necessary equipment to make these repairs.

Branding illegal aliens works in foreign countries. Why not try it here?  A Red Dot works well, and half of them already have one!

[The ability to control people] A MCSO deputy stopped me three times on a bike on the bike path. I had my hands on the car. I had to take my shoes off, he went into my pockets through my wallet looking for I don't know what! He was overweight, rude and a liar.

Say what you will about TNC and USFW, but without them, the Keys would be all Brazilian pepper. I just drove to Tampa and the problem seems to be completely out of control, especially in Martin County and the Sarasota area. Absolutely horrible!

There have been some truly hateful comments made lately in regards to political parties, cops, etc.  Everyone has different opinions and beliefs.  But the immature and insulting comments left by some people, and they know who they are, only make them look like the morons.  Perhaps an anonymous website like this is the only way these people can act tough.  In truth, they're really cowards.  Cheer up people.  Things aren't that bad.

I just wanted to mention that the girl who does the free wine tastings advertised in the classifieds section of this website is doing a fabulous job!  I hosted a wine tasting in my home and she was great - so informative and all my friends had a really great time.  I wanted to post a message because I am hoping to bring more attention to her business so she will continue to bring a little sophistication and culture to our islands. 

I have hosted wine parties for other companies and they are not nearly as good as hers, for one thing, she doesn't charge a fee.  She also talks about food and wine pairing more than any other representative I've met.  I even got some great recipes from her.  If anyone reading this is at all interested in wine, look up her contact information in the "Free" section in the classifieds on this website. She is local and I would like to see her get some more business.

A good bank would be Bank of America.  First State is about the slowest in the Keys to do business with. Plus they are always too busy talking to friends to do business. There online banking is always 2-3 days behind. They are just another crappy hometown bank. I have found bigger is better when it comes to my money. I can put money in or out of BOA and see it minutes later online. Now that’s online banking!

Call (305) 395-1573 to get Zoysia grass or any unwanted species removed or controlled.

I have not heard much the last week about the aisles at Winn Dixie!  Has anyone tried the ram-the-display trick? I happened to have had to go to Marathon this last week so stopped at the Publix.  What has happened?

[Good bank] Try the new Keys Federal Credit Union in Big Pine.

Kudos to the Good Food Conspiracy and everyone working there.  We're a lucky bunch to have such a great store that is community minded, and also chock full of helpful, happy smiling people working there.

I've been out of town on a road trip for a few weeks. I heard Rob's Sports Bar is closed down, is this true?

Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected.

[No native grasses in the Keys] Baloney. Look under you feet. There are several kinds and all indigenous and they don’t harbor mosquitoes.

[Yap dogs] Yes, throw chocolate in my yard. My dogs love it and have been wanting chocolate for years.

[Bread in a Can]  You can find "wheat bread" in the current MREs (military meals) being issued.  You can buy them on Ebay.  Look for inspections dates of 2007 or later to find the bread included with a complete meal.  Alternatively, you can go to MREFoods.com and buy the separate MRE meal components including main courses, side dishes and the flameless, water activated heaters.  If you don't see what you want, email the guy, he's friendly and willing to help.

[Candidate Sloan] I now have in my grubby paws written proof that two County Commission candidates beside little ole me are every bit as opposed to new development and in favor of saving the environment in the Keys as I am. The exculpatory proof is an email this morning from one of the other two to me, in which the writer speaks for the other closet environmental terrorist as well: They agree with me and wish they had the courage to say what I say, but they both want to be elected.

Today's email author told me the same thing yesterday, face to face, just before the Key West Chamber of Commerce Candidates Forum began. That wasn't too terribly long before I would answer a pesky question about my sentiments on mosquito control being brought under County management, or something like that, and I said I would get rid of mosquito control because I thought the poison did more harm than the mosquitoes. When one of the two closet terrorists later whispered to me that getting rid of mosquito control sure would create a lot of affordable housing in the Keys, I wondered why I had not already thought of that.

Then just last night, I drove up to Parrotdise on Little Torch Key, to dine with another environmental terrorist, who is not a candidate. He described a woman on Big Pine, who looks after wounded tropical and exotic birds. But when I later drove over to her place to meet her, mosquito control had already beat me there and was spraying all over everywhere. Barely able to breathe, I rolled up the windows and turned on the A/C and headed for home, meaning to get back by there sometime today, before mosquito control went back to work again. They spray my street about three times a week, and I have about ten billion mosquitoes still guarding my property, and wonder if they have evolved to viewing the poison as a delicate snack?

Well, balls, I say! These other two tree-hugging commies need to come out of their closets and join me and form a new Gang of Three, to fight to the death for all the trees, birds and butterflies on these precious islands in the stream, and for the islands and the stream, too!

[Computer Reload] The amount of crap you load on your PC is directly proportional the time before you require a clean install on your PC.  More equals less (time).

Please do not throw chocolate over a fence to rid yourself of the problem of yapping dogs. Chocolate triggers acute renal (kidney) failure in canines. I had a boxer snag a bag of Hershey's kisses off of the kitchen counter, and thought she was sick from ingesting the foil wrappers. The poor dog was dying in my arms, and I had to rush her to the vet in the middle of the night. The vet pumped two liters of saline under her skin, and it was touch and go while the poor baby's kidneys were shutting down. She managed to survive, but it was a horrible ordeal and one I would not wish on any pet owner.

Please contact your local police or code enforcement regarding the noisy dogs. As a homeowner or renter, you have a right to the peaceful enjoyment of your home. If the homeowners are not at home when the dogs are barking, video tape it. When they return from work, walk over and offer to show it to them politely. Once again politely, ask if there is some reasonable resolution they might suggest before you alert the authorities. Suggest as a previous poster mentioned, a bark collar. Beat the living snot out of the owners if you must, but please don't punish the animals for the owner's lack of training.

I am not a tree hugger, but I hate to see any animal suffer.

Editor, please think twice before posting these types of things. There are enough morons running around out there that would try this "just for sport", as in the case of the Blue Hole Alligator. With knowledge comes responsibility.

The barker collar is humane.  The pointed prongs do not pierce the dogs skin and you should not put the collar on tight.  The shock starts out very subtle and intensifies as the dog continues to bark.  Dog lovers: don't be cheep.  Your pets don't deserve to be left all day to yap at the wind.  Once they learn to address a real threat, like a break in, you'll be proud of them.  Best wishes to your puppies.  No family is complete without a pet.

[Bacon grease lady II.]  Obviously the Bacon Grease lady is viewing the New Jersey shore from her porch.  Soon to be in a night spot near you.  Hubba hubba.

Regarding the post of Bill Clinton’s bold welfare reform, this typical leftie Democrat has just advanced the conservative agenda more than any politician is able to do by espousing the usual nonsense that comes out of these disturbed individual’s mouth.

When flowers are delivered to the home by a delivery person is a tip required? Remember that you did not order them. They are a gift. What is proper etiquette?

(?)Complicated, high maintenance, open wounds? You must have never made it out of grade school and I would bet money that Ricky-Bobby is one of your heroes. I hope those things never heal up and close-unlike your mouth.

Friday August 25, 2006

Thursday  August 24, 2006

Mike Gillis, the famed jazz guitarist, will be at the senior center this morning (Thurs Aug 24) at 11:15am. I didn’t know jazz men got up that early. He’s only going to play for an hour. This sure will be a different venue, I’m told only about four or five people show up for these things. I hope it’s the same Mike Gillis I’m thinking of. I’m going anyway. See you there.

[Recommend a great bank] I have been quite happy with First State Bank for the last 30 years, especially since they’ve built so many branches of late. What I especially like is that they have branches at the Winn Dixie’s in BPK and KW which allow you to do banking ‘til 7 pm and on Saturdays.

You sober people; don't worry.

[safe and secure, thanks to the military in Iraq] It is a shame you are wasting your time trying to teach reality to the patriotic dreamers out there. This war will hurt everyone and won't be over until organized religion is wiped out. The dreamers out number the sane 10,000 to 1, Try to live with it!

It the easiest thing in the world to stop the influx of illegal aliens into America, just stop any freebies like welfare, unemployment, free medical, etc, to anyone who is not a full American citizen. In one day, the place will be empty.

[Yapping dogs] Throw some chocolate in their yard and after a couple of times the  problem will be solved.

[Bumbling fools] Anyone defending a cop from either organization must also be one. Every cop has some deficiency in their private life which is hidden behind the power they feel when wearing a gun and having the ability to control people because they have the law behind them (that’s why they’re in that profession). If the public could view these local deputy dumb asses in their personal life (without the uniform), they would see what weak, idiots they really are.  They break every law they enforce from stealing to skunk drunk driving in their patrol cars!  I know from experience and lots of names (and their deficiencies) from both county and city comes to mind.  They cover for each other on and off duty so you really don’t hear of all the screw ups by these “bumbling fools”.

[Bread in a Can] The government passes out packages of food, after disasters, military style. One pack consists of one complete meal. For example , bread, peanut butter, a desert, a coffee or cocoa.  Each itemcomes in shrink wrapped Army  green packaging. Bread opens up as fresh as the day it was sealed, or so they say. Now, if you'd like to stock up on these MREs before a disaster happens, well, I don't know about that.

At least multi-talented Bettie Page stayed employed!

I have yet to be accosted by a homeless person who did not claim to be a veteran. 

To all the Patriots of IKC. I salute you in your efforts in keeping all south Florida free from the threat of Iranians. What, not Iranians? OK then, Iraqis. What do you mean it’s not the Iraqis either? A lizard? What the hell do you mean a iguana is a lizard?  How do I turn this damn thing off?
Thanks,
Your Leader, Dubya

Chavez (CITGO) doesn't hate Americans, he hates the neo-cons (Bush et al) that are trying to ruin this country as well as others. What you should realize is that when you buy from all the other gas suppliers (middle east countries), you are supporting the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11. 

It is truly amazing to me that there are still Bushies out there that think the guy is so great in his handling of the presidency.  Is it actually ok with you that a president thumbs his nose and acts according to his views rather than the vast majority of the constituents in this country?  Just look at his approval rating.  Maybe he thinks that because he wasn't elected by a majority that their views don't count.  You can't argue with the facts that Saddam had no connection to 9/11. Iraq is in chaos thanks to boy George who lied to get us involved. None  of the republican hierarchy had the balls to go in harms way when they were eligible nor will they put there own kids in the military.  It is also true that our place in the world order has taken a back seat thanks to Bush.  You're all a bunch of losers and you are going to get your due in the upcoming elections. 

As far as blaming mainstream media for reporting the facts maybe you should just watch the Bush News Network (Fox) and get a distorted report to your liking. Please don’t embarrass yourself with your fact-less reply and your liberal use of “liberal”.

"When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."
--Helen Rowland

The key lies in the Bush White House’s rhetoric about the war in Iraq is characterizing the conflict as the "central front in the war on terror." For the reality-based community, it’s never made any sense — Iraq wasn’t involved with 9/11, Hussein did not support Al Qaeda, and the invasion of Iraq diverted resources and attention away from Afghanistan and towards a country that was not an imminent threat.

Can someone tell me how to make Yahoo mail my default mail?  Right now it is Outlook Express, but when it comes up it says something about the pop3 server being wrong.  Should I just delete Outlook Express from my computer? (Lousy tech support: The nice thing about Outlook Express is that it connects and downloads automatically if it is your default email software. If you delete it you will have to open your browser, go to Yahoo, log in and then view your mail. With Outlook Express you just open it and it does the rest automatically. Open Outlook and set it up correctly. When asked what kind of mail account, check POP3 and enter your Yahoo user name and password. If you want I’ll tell you how in detail tomorrow. Let me know.)

[recommending a good gynecologist] Your welcome.  I totally understand.  She is a great doctor and very sweet and helpful.  She delivered one of my babies, then I moved up to Cape Coral and had some problems.  I couldn't find a decent doctor up here so I took the long 5 hour drive back down to see Dr.  Ward.  She is the best!  So Is Beth Rodriquez.

[Candidate Sloan] I feel about 10,000 years old and I ache all over after last night's first real candidate's forum, in Key West. It seemed to go well in the moment, but the aftershocks in spirit were horrendous, and this morning I feel like I swallowed a nuclear reactor or an oil drum full of Agent Orange, or some such.

I was "accused" somewhat lightly and obliquely last night of being a tree-hugging communist, which I acknowledged I was by raising my right hand, which brought some chuckles from the audience. What could I do but confess the charge, after already having said, essentially, that I was against the cutting down of even one more mangrove, unless it was necessary for improving sewerage or waste water treatment, and I was in favor of the wealthy paying their employees more money so they could afford Keys rents, and I was in favor of the wealthy taking in boarders at reasonable rents, and I was in favor of the wealthy renting their empty homes for sale to working class people at reasonable rents, pending sale and closing of those homes?

I had not yet offered, but would later do so after the charge was levied against me, that owners of keys real estate give their holdings to Keys organizations devoted to saving and restoring the Keys and their trees and animals and plants and the seas around, reserving for themselves the right to live on, use and make reasonable improvements to the land for the rest of their lives. I did not say that I am putting my own money where my mouth is, but I am.

I was told in a dream last night to mention today that the folks who hung out with Peter in Acts 2 all were communists by today's definition. They pooled all that they had into a common pot and shared and shared alike. Not that I believe this is what Keys people should do precisely, but many of them know about Peter and his community, and perhaps that's why I was told to mention this today.

Attention Lousy Tech Support.  You might look into some of these external hard drives that hook in through a USB port.  There are some pretty good sized drives that only run about $100.  If you have USB 2.0 they ought to be pretty quick.  Then there are programs out there (Norton's Ghost?) which make simultaneous copies to the backup drive as you go.  The Windows registry could become a problem however. (Ed: Thanks. We have two USB external backups, but they’re no good if your USB ports don’t work, which is our problem. Dell said they’ve never encountered this problem and they want my mother board for dissection. They’re sending me a new motherboard and a geek to install it. In the meantime we’re publishing on an old hand crank abacus-like computer that is most tedious.)

Are you having real problems with candidates who have been on record doing one thing then while running for election are saying and doing another?  I have been conversing with voters and they are sharing some of the same apprehensions; and questions that I have.  Just for instance Glenn Patton on Feb. 18, 2006 in an email to Governor Bush, DCA and others stated that he being chairman of the Key Largo Waste Water Board supported (de-) designation from Area of Critical State Concern, as was reported in the newspapers; now he is saying and I quote from a forum in Big Pine Key “The designation of critical concern has done well and I do support it”. Which is it, Glenn (?) (Are you) for or against ACSC?  Murphy (stated, “Peer reviewed the Carrying Capacity Study produced by Army Corp of Engineers, at the cost of 6 million dollars said “has hit maximum capacity for the islands infrastructure five years ago” George Neugent agrees “the capacity of the Keys according to the CCS has exceeded its upland habitat capacity.”. Glenn Patton said “he did not believe the county was at its carrying capacity in reality, that there is room for more growth, and the science of the carrying capacity study was flawed”.  Who is telling us the truth?

Patton recently stated that, “It is not my place as your representative to give my opinion; it is to serve the people…I will not support issues if there is zero community support”. In the same forum on August 10th, Patton stated the interpretation of the Comprehensive Plan “as leaders we must do what we as elected officials feel is best.”  Is it to serve your opinion or the opinion of the majority?  Nuegent said “the comp plan is a guiding document that has been approved by many before us and the state”.  Murphy said “the comprehensive plan is the Bible for land use”. Who are we to believe?

 Glenn Patton made a motion at the Commission meeting of July 7, 2006; “that all of the $18 million of the state wastewater funding to Monroe County should come to Key Largo” then the next BOCC meeting of August 16, 2006; he votes for a Tom Willi proposed split of the money, while saying at least 9 million dollars should go to Key Largo”. Which is it Glenn? I know Neugent has wanted a Tom Willi proposed split at both meetings?  Why would you vote one way at one meeting then flip to the complete opposite at the next meeting?  I find this very confusing, but I am blonde. He also supports spending 8 million plus on the Murray Nelson Government Building in Key Largo, that will require $500,000 annually in operations and maintenances costs.  Then votes at that same meeting to fire the contractors who were going to build the government center?   Non homesteaded properties and businesses beware you’ll be picking up the tab for all of this. I have just identified; a few of the distressing discretions of Mr. Patton that fellow voters and I have been experiencing in trying to determine the right candidate to vote for.  Are there others out there feeling the same confusion and uncertainties that I am; before going to the polls to vote for these candidates?

[Yankees/Red Sox] Every MLB team has "Real" fans. Boston fans’ venomous hate of the Yankees and Yankee fans is understandable when you consider the eight or nine decades it's allowed to fester between Red Sox World Championships. Do you know a Boston fan's child born this year will probably never see a Red Sox World Series winning team?

NY Yankee fans have so many World Championship shirts and hats they've never had the time, or motivation of frustration, to come up with a "Boston Haters" version!

[Sheriff top Notch] Road cops I see with the Sheriffs are way overweight, rude and overbearing. But their attitudes do not effect them doing there jobs, being grossly overweight and out of shape does. And most just aren’t real bright either.

[Zoisa grass] Any grass is not indigenous to the Keys, and harbors mosquitoes like crazy. Get rid of it!

What's the deal with Key Deer Bar & Grill?  I haven't heard anything about them for quite awhile.  I know they have a new bar manager, Sonja, which I think is a big mistake.  Something is not right about that girl. If I were Captain Dan I would install cameras to keep an eye on the funny business going on in there.  If it were my place I would make Daryl the bar manager again, he kept things right, but it's not my place so I guess Captain Dan will learn the hard way. Get rid of Sonja and you almost have a good staff.  --barbarabentley@bellsouth.net

Another cure for yapping dogs and macho owners is a pit bull. Simply let it loose when Mr. Big is walking the yippers. He will cry like a baby. 

Get a barker collar? They work by shocking the animal through two metal pointed prongs inside the collar. Not a nice thing, but they work great if the owner is made to wear one.

I think that someone should make a marijuana patch so that I can gracefully withdraw.

All of our banks have good employees;  they are friendly and most helpful.  It's your choice where you want to put your money;  with the big guy's or hometown America.

[Focus Financial] A Google search turned up many different companies with the exact same name, but I did find out this: U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission sues companies and individuals involved in a Ponzi scheme that raised approximately $6 million From 600 Haitian-American investors living in South Florida. For more info go to http://www.sec.gov/litigation/litreleases/lr19258.htm

Another scam company preying on a group of society with below average education who tend not to put cash in banks.

To the person who is asking: what phone numbers and/or addresses or e-mail have you gotten out of them? There are a lot of fun things one can do to a truly illegal business.

I was 33 when I moved to Big Pine. That was 36 years ago. We had to drive to Marathon or Key West or Summerland for everything, but what a wonderful place it was!

[Good bank] I won’t bank with Bank of America because of their supporting the Vietnam war. I’d go to TIB in BPK because they have a young girl in there that is so beautiful that I can’t even look at her. Cheap thrills and banking; It doesn’t get any better than that.

(?)Well, after all that, we're all still waiting to read the state of your gyne. Those things, delicious though they may be, are technical, complicated, high maintenance, open wounds.

Thursday  August 24, 2006

Wednesday August 23, 2006

I agree that KWPD has had some issues that will not be soon forgotten, but leave the blame where it belongs.  The MCSO is so far above them.  They do not deserve to be placed in the same category as KWPD.  As far as being called bumbling fools--no way.  Bad apples will come and go, but the vast majority of the deputies are top notch officers. 

I eat corn mostly in the summer when it’s so sweet. In all the years I’ve been shucking the ears I only just realized that you should twist the peeled-back husks and stem from the cob. It sure is easier that way. I’ve always been trying to snap it off the cob; which works, but it sure is a lot harder sometimes.

[We’ve lost the esteem that the rest of the world previously had for us] That esteem really helped us in the WTC attacks, remember democrats give therapy and understanding to the terrorist; republicans give an ass kicking.

Has anybody ever heard of Focus Financial; and if so, is it a scam?

Maybe I'm a little late on figuring this out, but for those of you who don't know, Citgo oil is solely owned by the Venezuelan government.  Hugo Chavez is a friend of Fidel Castro, has links to North Korea, and has pledged himself as an enemy to this nation.  He has called upon other nations to bring down American imperialism.  Guess what's funding his drive?  That's right, the money you spend at Citgo gas stations. 

Chavez isn't merely a leader who disagrees with America.  He supports terrorism in the U.S.  Whether or not you agree with the Iraqi war, and regardless of your political views (unless you’re a nut-job like Cindy Sheehan), you should be concerned about the intentions of our enemies.  Think about this when deciding where to fuel up.  It's kind of ironic how he denounces American imperialism, yet thrives on a major oil company that prospers in America.  

[America has lost the esteem of the world] I agree with that statement because I’ve traveled the world and talked to foreigners on their own turf about America. They like our stuff, but don’t like us.

[delayed Kudos & Whiners] Dude! You got a Dell? They suck!

I’m writing to ask the poster who made remarks about tax breaks for the rich if you can be more specific?  What is your definition of rich?  What tax breaks are you talking about?  Is it the higher ceiling for not having to pay inheritance tax? My parents worked most of their adult lives to raise their children and paid taxes on all of it (nothing under the table, no unclaimed tips at the end of the night, etc.)  They were never on the “dole”.  They never filed for bankruptcy and stiffed their creditors.  They saved what they could and at the end of their lives they gave it to their children.  Keep in mind neither parent ever made more than $15 per hour.  Are you complaining because you are not in the same circumstance and think you deserve even more from those earnings that have already been taxed?  Are you complaining about selling a house and not having to pay capital gains until your profit reaches a certain level?  

I know my house payment comes out of my after tax dollars.  Why should I be taxed again after making “after tax payments” for 25 years?  My property appreciated.  Does that qualify me as being “rich”?  Are you complaining about the tax breaks on personal investments in retirement accounts?  I’ve been putting a portion of my wages into those “tax break” retirement accounts since I was 20 years old and I am now age 54.  Am I depriving you of something because I want my full benefits when I finally decide to stop working? 

To the person worried about creeping Zoysia grass. Why in the world would you use poison to control anything, are you not aware of how damaging that stuff is to the waters and eventually the reef? The neighbor at least has something natural growing in his yard. If you don't like grass or green stuff, perhaps you've settled in the wrong area of the country. Please try to be a little more tolerant of our environment and do some research on natural gardening.

Birthday 20 bothered me the most because I was no longer a teenager.  I felt like I was obligated to "grow up" then.  Once I got over that idea, all's been well with birthdays since.

[Grant Money for Improvement] Go on line and type in, "hurricane grant improvement money", you will get a number of web-sites to view.  Make up your own mind.  One website did say that once you have the inspection, this report will be public record.  Contractors and Insurance Companies will have access to your information.  Beware of scam contractors, and be prepared for a possible call from your insurance company when they see that you are under insured. 

Bettie Page?

[Trouble in paradise: delayed Kudos & Whiners]  Yikes!  Good luck, I'll be waiting. 

[Fire station and paving Key Deer Blvd] Forget it. They’re only about 10 million short and don't have a credit card.

[Who does animal cremations in the Keys]  Your vet or any vet's office.

[invasive grass] You might try putting in some of that artificial edging along the property boundary as a root barricade.  If you bury it deep enough that the Zoysia won't run roots under it and let it stand high enough that it doesn't easily crawl over it you should be able to use a season long herbicide on your gravel without it affecting your neighbor's grass. (It can help keep your gravel from bouncing over into his grass, too.) Roundup is good, but there's stuff that will last longer.  Apply carefully!

[Veterans are homeless, having trouble finding jobs and getting treatment because of tax cuts for the rich]  And here I thought all the problems we face were caused by global warming.  So, what you're saying is that the government should take money from "the rich" and give it to you, right?  Who are "the rich"?  Is it anyone that makes more money than you?  Why should people that are successful in life be required to support you?  Shouldn't we reward success, not punish it?  What happens when we end up with a society of all people like yourself?  Who will be the rich and who will support all those with their hands out?

This is going to get me yelled at but; I would not want to have a child given up for adoption track me down years later to check his genealogy, stir up whatever life I had by then, and ask me "why".

Liberals still suck! I, for the life of me, can't understand the way you liberal whacko's think. For one, the fight in Iraq has definitely kept the fight away from here. I just think you would have been okay if Gore had won and we would have been under attack because we could have peacefully talked to the middle east and they would have said, "Okay You guys are great and we won't hate you anymore because you are pussies.” War will hopefully end in peace, but peace never has ended without war. I genuinely dislike liberals for the fact that they think this country owes them something. It owes you not a damn thing. Our family and friends paid the price for your freedom to spout hate and downgrade this country when we so desperately need to unite. Come to the good side libs. At least to the right center of the Democratic Party. By the way, Charlie Crist for Governor.

Volumouse - control the sound volume with a wheel mouse

[Bread in a can] If you have a generator you can buy a bread machine and some mixes and you'll be able to make your own when you run out or fresh and frozen.  If you don't have a generator buy the bread machine anyway and a whole lot of mixes.  Then find a neighbor with a generator and make a deal.

Audio of a man describing an auto accident involving old ladies on a radio show. It’s a laugh and a half. http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

I have two adorable little yapping wa-was and I really have a lot of built up stress, so I would love for some dumb-ass to try to beat the s___ out of me!

[We’ve lost the esteem of the rest of the world] You're the one that's blinded if you believe that. That is, unless you consider being viewed as a joke by the rest of the world, as we were under Clinton, equal to "esteem".  I don't.  The only difference between then and now is what the mainstream media is saying.  It's called "perception is reality" and it works well when people don't bother to use their brains to filter information and believe whatever they are told.  Your philosophy that kissing the ass of terrorists to keep us safe is ridiculous.  It didn't work under Clinton and he knew it.  But since his only concern was keeping his poll numbers up, he didn't mind giving a few billion dollars to the "axis of evil" countries to keep the lid on a boiling pot. 

Go Red Sox! It's never over and they are never done. Are you kidding? Don't stick your foot in your mouth too far now. The Red Sox will bounce back, thankyouverymuch. Real fans are Red Sox fans. Don’t ever forget it.

[Wellness] This looks and sounds a little like one of those "Family/Child/God" ads. I debate its reality and accuracy, but it is interesting to see the results, if they are not just graphic renderings to make you believe, then take your money. Things like this make me wonder how far people will go to make a buck. http://www.innervisionwellness.com/homeflash.html  

[Condolences on the computer problem]  An interview I read with somebody that used to work on a support desk said that the response “Reformat the hard disk and reload Windows” was a standard response given when they didn't have a clue what the problem was, had spent more than their per call time limit with you and wanted you to get off the phone line.  Try asking them what the command to reformat the hard disk is--don't do it, but ask.  Think about what this really means.  Reformatting today's gigabyte hard disks would take hours and hours. Reloading Windows would likewise take hours, if you had a copy and it wasn't preloaded on the hard disk you just reformatted.  Then you would have to apply all those gazillion updates Microsoft has sent out, reload all your applications and update all of them, reconfigure all of them once they got loaded.  Oh yeah, your data is lost unless you had an offline backup.  The last time one of those support people gave me that answer I simply uninstalled their application from both computers and never did business with them again.  Windows System Restore, a built in and automatic feature, has saved me a couple of times.  Good luck.

(Ed: Thanks, I didn’t trust them either, so I paid a private tech support company to diagnose my problem and they concurred. Aaarg! All 8 USB ports on my computer don’t work. Both companies were in agreement that it was a software problem and could only be fixed by reinstalling Windows. Aaarg! I plan to spend the next two days reinstalling windows and all the other programs and downloads I need. Aaarg! I was on Tech support for a total of nine hours yesterday trying to avoid the reinstallation. I tried Windows System Restore right off the bat, but had no luck. Fortunately, I had a ten year old PS/2 mouse from my first computer that plugs into a special outlet on my computer and was able to publish yesterday. Without that mouse I would’ve been in more trouble.

I don’t even want to talk about how long it took me to back up over forty gigabytes of files onto CDs. I had been shopping for an external DVD burner with a USB connection, but now I’m buying an internal burner in case this ever happens again--plus, they're cheaper. Don't be concerned, we'll publish tomorrow, come hell or Bill Gates.)

Can someone please recommend a great bank? Thanks in advance.

Happy birthday Leslie! --From Sammy, Rick, Luis, Katerina and the rest of the crew of the Phone Depot. Happy birthday, honey!

Wednesday August 23, 2006

Tuesday August 22, 2006

Congratulations to Sugarloaf School for being one of the top 50 Combination Schools (K-8) in the state of Florida.  Way to go, Sharks!

[My safe home] To the paranoid homeowner that mistrusts this grant fund. Just don’t apply. Then there will be more money left for the rest of us to make our homes safer for the next big one.

[Bread in a can] Thanks for trying, but brown bread in a can doesn’t count. Its way too sweet and molasses flavored. I’m looking for white, rye or whole wheat bread from a can to make an emergency sandwich. It would be great in the aftermath of hurricanes when you run out of fresh or frozen bread.

[We are sitting here safe and secure, thanks to them (military) in Iraq] Sir, your patriotism has blinded you. We are not safe here because our brave troops are fighting in Iraq. It is quite the contrary. Because of them fighting in Iraq, which had no connection to terrorism, we are in greater danger than we’ve ever been. Iraq has been a rallying point for those that want to harm us. Plus we’ve lost the esteem that the rest of the world previously had for us. And if you think I want to whine about Iraq because the mainstream media wants me to, you are grievously wrong.

[Money grubbing ingrates] Might I suggest you make a pilgrimage around the world's battlefields and return the lost sight, arms, legs, and souls to the families of those you don't wish to care for, help adjust or respect. Better yet give me your legs and see how it feels for a week or two. You couldn't handle it, but on the other hand I would use my regained mobility to help others that were in my condition. You don't deserve the rights and freedoms of our country when you can badmouth those that do from a viewpoint that is pure ignorance!

On the last full moon, when the tide was super high and the rock was maximally saturated.  I happened upon a puddle with a bubbling in the center.  Curiosity compelled me to taste it, yup, it was fresh water.  Amazing.

Happy Birthday, 25er!  It's all in your mind, really.  If you decide you're old, you will be, no matter what number you are “officially.” As far as time going faster, it proceeds at the same pace every day until you let “them” brainwash you into thinking otherwise.  And if you get that "another year older now" crap from anybody, remember it's only one day older than yesterday, and that happens every day to the entire planet.  It's all mental.

A yapping dogs vocal cords can be altered so it is just a little yipping dog, but it takes a court order to have it done.

Boring, boring, boring! No Storms, No Disasters, No Dire Circumstances for Humanity in the Keys, Big Pine Key is becoming “SleepyTown U.S.A.”

"I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things." --Alan Coren

Vietnam still remains troublesome in our American minds; it’s as if we can’t reconcile the war with our mythic (and heroic) self-image.

Got to admit I think lots of those yappy little rat/doggettes are kind of cute, but anybody who thinks they're home protection is delusional.  They can be so easily bribed or silenced that they are no deterrent to anyone who wants in.

[Bill Clinton’s welfare reform]  What a joke! Clinton vetoed Republican-sponsored welfare reform bills several times before finally allowing one to go through in the face of overwhelming public support. Why would Clinton ever have considered supporting such legislation when it would alienate a voting block that was one of his major sources of support?

It was a long road from catnip…

Happy 25th birthday (yesterday)!   I’m 51 ˝ and I think time sped up when I had kids which was age 30; so I don’t know if that is related.  I can tell you at 51 ˝ time flies.  I hope you had a great celebration for your 25th.  I was depressed on my 25 too.  Just a little.  Of all my birthdays, 25 was the hardest.  And I don’t know why either.  Lots of people point to 30 or 40 or 50.  25 was sad for me, but I think that was more about where I was in my life then.  Now, at 51 ˝, life is no easier (faster, but no easier) but I enjoy it more and so will you.

I can sympathize with the guy whose live-in girlfriend has two yip dogs. I was living with a good-looking woman a year ago who also had two of those little dogs. The sex was great (with the woman) so I put up with those annoying dogs until one of them bit me in the nutsack. That was the end of that. Now I only date women without dogs. And for the guy down here, beware of a good-looking blonde who has little dogs named Pierre and Bluto (the bag-biter).

How they hanging?  Talking about the Jersey women and all. http://members.shaw.ca/ngmckay/boobs-hang-low.htm

Wow!  Those pictures are just incredible, what an amazing journey, I'm so jealous.  Does anyone out there take pictures like these of the Keys?  I would love to see them too.  Thank you so much for sharing.  (http://silvairehair2.home.comcast.net/072806/ ) 

OK people, I need some feedback on this issue. My neighbor has Zoysia grass, I have gravel yard with landscaping. The neighbors Zoysia grass keeps creeping into my gravel and my flower beds which I don't like. I spray the grass on my property with Round-up which does kill some of the grass on his property as it follows the roots back to his side. The neighbor says he will weed eat to stop the grass from coming over, but hasn't done that yet. So, I sprayed again and the neighbor is not happy. I don't want the grass in my gravel or flower beds, it is very invasive and takes over. I have spent big bucks on gravel and mulch and plants because I don’t want grass anywhere. Any solutions out there to help keep the peace as I don't want a neighbor problem?

As of July 1, 2006, Dr. Valle's office does not except any insurance, not just Blue Cross.  It sucks because I really like her but I just cannot afford to pay her fees out of my pocket and I have probably the best insurance money can buy.  They had too many problems getting reimbursed by an assortment of claims thru different insurance companies.  She is a great doctor and I will miss receiving the care that I did, it's too bad.  So come next year I too will be looking for a new doctor. 

The sheriff’s office may be bumbling fools, but they are honest and try to do the best they can. It’s not Sheriff Roth’s fault that bright, energetic cops cannot afford to live here.  So we get the dregs. At least they are honest not like KWPD.

[Today is my 25th birthday.] Considering 25 is 1/3 of your life, if you plan to reach 75, I suggest you party your brains out for the next 25 years, then cool it, save for retirement, then relax, until they stick you in that big dark box. Congratulations!

What happened to building the new Big Pine Fire Station? The old one is falling down and no one seems to care. Are they ever going to get started? Last I knew most of the hurdles had been cleared. What's up?

Also, what's up with repaving Key Deer Blvd? I see them spending time and money on some side streets, but Key Deer Blvd is falling apart. You almost have to drive down the middle of the road to stop from getting beaten to death by the holes and cracked edges. I was aware of some design issues and that hurricane Wilma set them back a little, but it needs to be done. Any news on when or if they plan on starting?

[Veterans are money grubbing ingrates] Must be a compassionate conservative to call veterans that! Veterans make up the vast majority of our homeless population, returning vets are having trouble finding jobs and getting appointments for treatment of injuries. Why? Tax cuts for the rich, the cost of an unwarranted war, tit for tat special prosecutor investigations of each others conduct, lifetime benefits for corrupt elected officials etc.  I don't hear you calling the soldiers on the front line money grubbers when they want the right equipment to do the job or new weapons systems, or the right body armor to protect them. So why are they money grubbers when they take their uniforms off and seek the benefits they were promised but never funded?

I once had a neighbor who lived next door that had a dog that barked constantly while they were at work. Upon their arriving home from work they would let the dog in. I had asked them to please do something about the barking dog and they refused. So, I bought a boom box and set it right on the property line and played RAP music, which I knew they hated, and turned the volume up as well as the bass so they would get a good thumping noise and went about my business. They did not like it at all and they started keeping the dog inside while at work.  My next step was going to be a recording of a barking dog on tape and played all night while they tried to sleep.

I turned 25 last Friday myself. First of all Happy Birthday! Time has been flying by for me since I graduated high school in 99’. I made sure I didn’t take my senior year for granted, but I definitely did the years before. It’s amazing how most of us are in such a hurry to grow up and then we do and wonder where time has gone. I can’t believe it’s been over 7 years since I graduated. We still have so much life ahead of us at 25, please don’t feel old. Think of it this way; your car insurance will go down, you can rent a car, and you are still in the prime of your 20’s. Live it up!  Make sure you soak it up too!  (When you put it in terms of a “quarter century” it does sound kind of scary doesn’t it?)

Who does animal cremations in the Keys? I don’t want one who only will cook the critters or dump them into a dumpster, and hand you a box of dirt for an obnoxious fee. No respect.

There is some nitwit playing games with the food markets in Key West. He takes a cart and picks up perishable items, then sticks the items in among the wrong stock, and on the very top of the isle shelving. The stuff on the top shelf starts to rot and stinks up the markets. The store managers are aware of this, but can't catch the bastard. If I catch him, he'll have about six months of eating with ten broken fingers.

[Some veterans are money grubbing ingrates] You are an ingrate.  How dare you say someone from the VA is hungry for money, what they get is deserved.  When you stand up for your country and risk your life for people who throw stupid comments around like that it makes some wonder.  Where were you at the age of need--in Canada? Don't like this country, try going to Cambodia and enjoy that life.  Grubbing ingrates indeed!

Great Hot Dog: Brown a hot dog roll, cook the dog, use yellow mustard and some spicy salsa instead of relish. Hummm, good!

To the horrid individual who wrote, "Adoption is just as bad; it's the caring for the rejected." I’ll have you know that my parents hand picked me.  Yours got stuck with you.

[most trustworthy law enforcement agencies in the state] That isn’t saying much. The KW cops need a lesson to teach them to do things legally, not the way that makes the most money. Things are out of hand when a citizen can't even defend themselves anymore.

[Adoption is just as bad; it's the caring for the rejected] I have heard it all.  Do you know how many loving people there are in this world to take children in for adoption?  Without them this country would be completely full of orphanages.  They are not rejected, you dummy, they are children that some people must give up because they know the child will be better off with adults who will love and care for them.  I would love to send a Big Brothers counselor over to your place to let you know some of the kind things done in that area too.  Let you tell him how rejected those children are. You should be ashamed.  I'm glad I'm not your father at the age of 100, how would I be treated?

Happy Belated Birthday to the 25 year old.  Yes, it can be depressing.  Wait until forty, invite the biggest arsehole you know to dinner, serve a great meal and be berated throughout about aging, weight gain, predictions for the future.  I cried for 3 days.  My son sat up with me, drank, listened to me bitch and listened patiently to “Moonshadow” by Cat Stevens.  Yes it does seem to go quicker the more we age, but I have since decided age is a state of mind and no one can make you feel bad except you.  I still harbor a grudge against the dinner guest, but all things considered he taught me a very valuable lesson. You have enough time to have a son to help you through the 40th.  He won’t be old enough to drink though.  Live every day as if it is your last one.

Perhaps the better Cat Stevens song “Oh, Very Young” could convey the message better to the 25 year old afraid of living and aging.  Don’t borrow trouble. 

Yes, it is your right to have yapping dogs.  But, it is not your right to annoy your neighborhood with them.  You don't agree with me?  Too bad, because the law does agree with me.

Yipping dogs:  also known as ankle biters, and either nut biters or lickers depending on what they are yapping for at any given time and how high they are willing to jump for it.  Which is worse, not being able to sleep or not being able to keep plants that you love in the yard?  I will take an iguana anytime, since it allows me to sleep, or even nap at times.  Please do not call the police on a non-violent, however annoying dog.  Call animal control. They are stretched very thin, but since I called, there are two less Pomeranians in the neighborhood; only to be replaced by a baby pig and a bird!  Guess I was the one screwed on that one.  I am hoping the other neighbor’s pit bulls (4) will ultimately correct an ongoing problem.  We don't call them the Hounds of the Baskervilles for nothing.

Ratty yip dogs can be quieted very easily. Just beat the crap out the owner, and they will be dealt with. Simple. 

My 25th birthday was incredibly depressing.  I had reached the two and a half decade milestone.  Now that I am facing 50 in 2 months I am not depressed at all about it.  I am so amazed that I'm still standing after all I've been through and rejoice with gratitude to my creator who has tempered the long strange trip with bizarre humor and irony.

I'm just so happy to be having a birthday!  Amen! 

Interesting comment regarding Muslims hating Israelis for taking their land.  Familiar story.  How did the American Indians feel after same thing was done to them?  Now it is the Indians’ turn to get even.  White man is losing his home by betting and losing all his money at Indian casinos.

[Yapping dogs]  As an owner of an elderly dog, 112 in doggy years, I would be heartsick if my animal were that miserable. I would speak with the owner instead of calling the Cops first and maybe I’d get a bottle of Captain Morgan.  When you own pets it is the “Mama and Daddy” that is responsible to insure Fido’s comfort and happiness.  A well fed, walked, loved and well cared for dog will be happy in his bed until the next two hour care session.  Sure, let’s just call those awesome Cops.  Some folks that do not work, should.  Some folks that work should not as they still need to be training Fido.  Man’s best friend.  Who’s in charge here?

There is a very simple solution to a yapper dog. Get a barker collar.  They work and are harmless to the pet. They sell them at Walton’s.

My heartfelt thanks go out to the person who responded to my request for help in recommending a good gynecologist. Thanks to everyone that responded to my requests.  Big Pine Keyers are the best!

I called Dr. Ward's and they were able to slide me in on a cancellation; 4 hours from initial contact to treatment.  I feel so relieved.  I feel like I am in good hands now and she was a blessed font of information.  She addressed all my questions patiently and candidly.  Let there be light! She is a credit to her profession.  Again, thanks for the good tip.  You just don't know what you've done. 

[Jersey girls]  They are very smart people. As you can see, they don’t date stupid people.

[ComCrap] I agree about Comcast being next to useless, except for taking my money for nothing. The programming (it's as much Comcast's fault as the programs’ producers) is trash. All I watch for $50+ a month, is the Jim Lehrer News Hour and the Weather Channel. The Satellite isn't much better either. What to do? Maybe I'll get a life and see if the sun is still up there? Thank God for old movies.

Each generation of kids is ridiculed by the last generation for having something wrong with them. This new generation, those born after 1970, seem to be really screwed up. Oh, wait; it's their parents not the kids who are at fault. Right?  The so called baby boomers, must be castrated, or have real DNA problems. Right? Right! My kid and I just had a man to man talk, and she tells me, she's scared for the future. At 15, she tells me things I didn't see happening to this country, this world. She thinks we're all losers and wimps that our government is not on our side, that the criminals are controlling everything. She says, we are going to have a tough time in the next ten years, getting food, water, and living, period. Being a baby boomer, and blind to the real world, I didn't know what to tell her. I then realized how we are being conditioned and controlled. God help her. God help us all!

Have you gone food shopping lately. Bring along a heart monitor. When you see the obnoxious price increases you might have the Big One! Remember when a can of soup was $.59? Now it's $2.59. A gallon of "Special Perfect Spring Water" (Its water!) costs almost as much as gasoline. I will bet anyone that in a few months, all merchants will have to hang a red light out front of their stores to keep things legal!

I am from the Canadian area, but would like to send Kudos out to your US1radio station, namely Soulful Sundays with Allan and Saturdays in the Islands with Jamming Jim. I look forward to these 2 music programs on the weekend. I can’t say enough how much I have enjoyed the music selections. I’ve got several colleagues at work listening and they too agree. Your selection is awesome. Keep up the good work guys, its greatly appreciated.

Allan August 20th program was the best I’ve heard so far. I got into some trouble with those songs, they were beautiful. Thanks for a lovely and memorable Sunday Allan. May you be provided with the health, courage, and strength to continue on, may God bless you and your family.

Stick a fork in the Red Sox--their done.  Red Sox can start calling the Yankees, “Daddy.”  The Red Sox are the Yankees bitch!

Judging from the hostile postings by abortion advocates, the anti-abortion poster who said; "we only get angry and defensive when we know we are wrong" hit the nail on the head.  Instead of defending abortion just to make yourself feel better, why not warn other women against it so they won't have to go through the pain and regret that you are now experiencing? 

[What system would you come up with to save drinking water] There’s no shortage of water.  If there was, why did they just put in hundreds of new homes and a giant medical facility in Homestead? The “conserve water” BS is just the utility company's way of dealing with growth without having to upgrade their infrastructure.  I'm not sure why people are stupid enough to believe them. Of all of our resources, water is the most renewable.

Turning 25 was the worst! I too was very depressed about turning 25, but I managed to get past it and now I'm the ripe old age of 30. Aaagh!  Can we keep this between the two of us?

Claim:  Civilians can send "thank you" messages to American troops through a Department of Defense web site. Status:   Was true, but is no longer the case.

Thank God that this guy Quade or Quaide will be removed from our community. Someone unlucky enough to trust him and his buddy Lospinoso for a ride to Miami didn't expect to be beaten and robbed. The story is on Tuesday's Keysnews website http://keysnews.com/crimereport.bsp.htm and of course their mugs are on the infamous keyso website which has a link to the left of this frame. They have both been convicted of felonies before. Now this. Do we have to wait for 3 felonies to run this trash out of town? I hope not.

Tuesday August 22, 2006

Monday August 21, 2006

Today is my 25th birthday. I realize this sounds silly, but I'm actually feeling very depressed about it. I know 25 is still young, but I feel like I am getting old. I don't even know why I worry about it. I guess I should be thankful I'm still in my 20's, huh? Does time really start going a lot faster after 30?

Before the local conspiracy theorists get out hand again, let me put this issue to rest right now.  Monroe County has one of the classiest and most trustworthy law enforcement agencies in the state.  Sure, Key West has had some recent issues, but the county isn't a problem, and hasn't been for a long, long time.  Some paranoid fool actually stated that it is dangerous to file a complaint.  Wake up and smell the coffee.  That crap doesn't exist around here.  Cops are human and are prone to mistakes, just like you and me.

It’s hard to keep mute about rehashing the Vietnam War (they call it the American War). Some of you still think the US was right to fight that war and not to get out when we did. History has shown that is not the case. I supported the war and even attacked protesters, which I’m embarrassed and sorry to admit. I thought they were unpatriotic. As the years have passed history has proved them right and me and Presidents Nixon and Johnson wrong.

Wow Fishcutters on Summerland is looking good.  Nice job!

To the person looking for a good gynecologist. Dr. Kelley Valle on Stock Island is a terrific doctor and a good person to talk to. I have been going to her since 1998. Give her a call at 293-6991.

Yapping dogs are a noise violation. Call the cops. Don't be a pussy.

[You who doesn't trust the world] The My Safe Home program is a voluntary program designed to help you make your home as hurricane protected as possible. It isn't "The Man" looking to get into your home and see the many treasures or illegal activities you may be participating in. Seeing as every idea that comes across the pike that could possibly help you must be designed to catch you in something, maybe you don't need to get the help the state of Florida is trying to give you? Maybe you don't own your own home and have no idea what it is like to be concerned about the welfare of yourself or your family? If that is the case, don't worry about the program. Your best bet is probably sitting at Coconuts in your old reliable chair waiting for the local drug dealers to stop by and sell you their wares.

[The British dumped the Jews into what is now Israel]  You need to read a little further back in your history books.  Around 500 BC, the Jews were evicted from Jerusalem by the Babylonians.  As time went on, they were forced out of what is now Israel.  Being returned to Israel can hardly be referred to as "dumped."  

I would like to thank the person who wrote in about the Phone Depot having DirecTV. I have tried calling the 1-800 number for DirecTV and it's a serious run around. I've had Comcast for years and finally got sick and tired of the rates going up and the quality getting worse and worse. So, after the run around with the 1-800 number I remembered seeing the comment here. I called the Phone Depot in BPK, and filled out a work order. The following day Sammy showed up just like he said he would and did a terrific job. He is a heck of guy. Hello DirecTV, goodbye ComCrap.

Coming Tuesday: The new Paris Hilton CD will be released, Mars will be very close to Earth and the Iraqi bad guys want to hurt Israel.  Be on high alert.

The man said Jerusalem has been destroyed  20 times in as many centuries. It must be a troubled place. I don't think I'll be moving there soon.

To all Boondocks Goers:  Jamie (the super sweet bartender who works Tuesday/Wednesday days and Thursday nights) is going to be competing in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Pageant in Key West next Saturday night on her Birthday!  For those can make it, the big event starts at 8:30 pm right outside the Hard Rock Café on Duval St.  Please show your support for a great local gal and wish her a very happy birthday.

[Bad Dog] Carry a big can of pepper spray for the mutt and take pictures when it attacks your animal and the Key Deer.  I’ve got a better idea; I'll just use my shotgun.

[You need to call the Police or a Lawyer to find out if you can legally shoot it if it attacks while walking down the street] Hopefully, it will drag you by a phone booth; or if your lucky enough to have your cell with you, you can call to see if your going to offend anyone by blowing the animal away.

[internet cafe on Big Pine Key]  There is service available for a fee at the shipping store in BPK Plaza, or free internet at the library.

[The Muslims had to cope with it (Israel). It isn't working and never will] Yes, I'm afraid the Muslims are very intolerant.  It's either their way or the highway.  It would be most unfortunate for western civilization, especially liberals, if they succeeded in dominating the world.  You could either become a Muslim and abide by their inordinately strict lifestyle or you would be a dead atheist.  Makes Christianity and Judaism look good, doesn't it?

Angus sighting! Angus Bangus lives! I saw him sorting through bags of dead animals at the Salvation Army. Speaking of which; whatever happened to Angus' former partner who told us he was busy transforming the House of Music into a whole new venue? The new reopening was imminent, as he said. Another broken promise for Piners. Will anyone ever be straight with us? Is there anyone we can trust? Bring back Angus.

[Yap Yap dogs] I was in the pet business for years. It still amazes me to see so many unconscious dog owners who are oblivious to their own badly trained and disruptive barking animals. Remember, there are other people on this planet too.

[What has Bush done] You forgot to mention the boat loads of money he gave to the VA and continues to do even though some veterans are money grubbing ingrates.

[Fresh water lens on the Keys]  The lens is back to their pre-Wilma  levels. Most fresh water wetlands are back in the 2-5 parts per thousand of sodium chloride range. This is fresh water by any definition.  The other good news is that the salt levels in soils are back to pre- Wilma as well.  Most upland soils returned to normal levels by mid July. 

During Wilma we had .83 inches of rain.  In November we had 1.45 inches, December .48 inches for a  total of 2.76 inches after Wilma, 2005  This year we have had: February 1.56 inches, May 5.05 inches, June 6.30 inches,  July 7.95 inches, August 4.87 inches (yesterday, Sunday 1.16 inches).  These amounts are for east of the center of Big Pine and rainfall can vary quite a lot  between locations. 

Rainfall since Hurricane Wilma is 2.76 inches. in 2005 and 25.73 inches in 2006 (so far)  or a total of 27.99 inches on 20 August.  We should get some more this month, and September is the month we record our highest rainfall ( most of the time).

[Bread in a can] They do sell bread in a can, it's brown bread, with or without raisins.  We used to have it with baked beans and hot dogs.  I know I did buy a couple of cans down here once or twice a couple of years ago.  I don't remember what grocery store I found it in but I checked Winn Dixie and Albertson's this past weekend and couldn't find it.  You might have to ask.

[Why are we still in Iraq when Iraqis don’t care about democracy]  If they don't care about democracy, why did so many of them risk their lives to go to the polls and vote?  Why do you care that we're still in Iraq?  Actually, "we" are not in Iraq, the men and women in the military are. "We" are sitting here on "our" fat asses, safe and secure (thanks to them) whining about them being in Iraq--because that's what the main stream media says we should do.  And why are they telling us that?  Because that's about the only thing the Democrats have going into the next election. And as long as people are too lazy to think for themselves, the main stream media will continue to try to control the country with their liberal propaganda.

Maybe there are less white babies to adopt because more white people practice birth control. It is more difficult to get birth control in this country than it used to be in the 80's. Young women could get birth control in high schools and at clinics around the country without their parent’s permission and birth control was taught in schools as well as the choice of abstinence.

Lets be serious, when you were young, how many of you listened to your parents and didn't have sex until you were married? What is the percentage, 5%? And we expect our children to behave differently because they are not us? How ridiculous and arrogant to believe that. Our children have our genes and will be just as experimental as we were, but now they don't know how to prevent pregnancy. Nobody has sex with the intent of having an abortion. The ignorant belief of that is always believed by somebody that never found themselves pregnant unintentionally. Please leave this subject alone. Your ignorance is far too apparent. It comes down  to this: You and nobody else in this world owns my body. You have no right dictating what I do with my body.  What I do with my body is between me and God. Please worry about your own instead of mine. Who makes you the judge of me? Certainly not Father God. He tells us to let judgment be His.

I have two small dogs that tend to bark during the day, but I have a right to own these dogs and they can bark all they want no matter how much the neighbors complain because they are guarding my home. Besides all that, they are my girlfriend's yappers and there's not a whole lot I can do about them barking. If I ask her to get rid of them, she would be upset, and to quote the old saying, "When the woman ain't happy, ain’t nobody happy."

A dyslexic walked into a bra…

http://silvairehair2.home.comcast.net/072806/ for the cross country pictures.  Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed them!

[Dog Attacks] If an animal attacks you off the owner’s property and does damage, the animal owner is liable. Since no homeowners insurance in Monroe County covers any pet they are at your mercy. If the damage is great enough you can own them, take all the property; and if in the case of permanent disability or death, they can be charged with manslaughter or worse.

[good gynecologist]  Dr. Sharon Ward down in Key West. Beth Rodriquez of Big Pine works there too.  They are the best.  I moved to Cape Coral and still come see them for my annual visits. 

The Bacon Grease Guy is a loser, probably inherited his ugly thoughts from his inept parents.

[Doctored news photos to turn world opinion against Israel]  This may or may not be true. Who's to say who doctored the photos?  Both sides are using everything in their power to win this stupid war. The Muslims are religious radicals, just as the Jews are. If both factions disappeared, the world would be a better place.

[Change fire hydrants to salt water] Did you ever think reengineering an already decaying system to use both fresh and salts waters could be done? No, all you do is knock down ideas. What system would you come up with to save drinking water? Perhaps rain gutters?

Don't dismiss Dr Valle's office because they don't accept Blue Cross.  The amount Blue Cross pays opposed to what is charged is about 25%.  Only certain things are paid in full.  So let's rag on Blue Cross instead.  If I was in business and they only paid 25% of my fee, whatever that fee was I wouldn't like it either.

[First words spoken on the moon] "Watch it! Don't step in that.  Ugh.

I can sympathize with the person that lives next to one of those ratty yip dogs whose owner lets it bark continuously. I have a similar situation, only there are two yapping dogs. The owner puts the dogs on the screened porch and then leaves for work. The dogs bark at anything and everything that moves in the street, and their high pitched bark could shatter glass, not to mention eardrums. There has got to be a way to get these dogs to shut up, but short of dog-napping, I don't know what it is.

[Abortion versus Adoption] Abortion is the business of the woman with the kid. It's nobody's business but hers. You religious nuts will cause this planet to over populate because you won’t cull the trash. America is the only country who sees abortion as a crime. Most countries see it as a blessing. Get real, get fixed. Adoption is just as bad; it's the caring for the rejected.

Are we better off today than when Clinton was president?

[My Safe Florida Home http://www.mysafefloridahome.com/] It seems to me, this is another scam to manipulate my tax money again. They say they will give a grant of up to $5000 dollars, for repairs that the inspectors say your house needs. But, why do they only want to inspect real homes, privately owned, non-business, on stilts, under the Homestead Act, non-rental, etc. homes? Read the fine print on this site. It seems to me, this is a way to get into my property, check out the layout, and get info for Code Enforcement to use. Something stinks about this whole gig. On top of this, it's my tax money they are granting back to me. I think it's all BS.

Monday August 21, 2006

Sunday August 20, 2006

To the woman who is looking for a good Gynecologist. Have no fears you are not alone and there are many of us here to turn to when/if you are in need.  Despite a large amount of “whiners” there are many here who like to give “kudos” and otherwise reach out to lend a helping hand when needed. 

I go to Dr. Sharon Ward in Key West.  They have an all woman staff there and are all so warm and caring.  In all likelihood you will be seen by the midwives or nurse practitioners for your initial consultation, but have no fear, they are very knowledgeable and competent as well.  And if by chance the problems you are encountering are out of their realm of expertise then Dr. Ward will meet with you.  I have a great deal of complicated female issues and have gone to a string of OB-GYNs who have been unable to assist me.  But now I am in great hands with Dr. Ward’s office and am finally getting the treatment I need.  They are all very involved in your treatment process and explain everything clearly and effectively.  They never “watch the clock” when you are in with them and are willing to give as much as you need and more. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the care you are in need of.

[Tipping] Sadly, times have changed. Here in the Keys I always tip 20% or more. I seldom tip for service, but I always tip to help keep the work force viable. If they can’t afford to live here I’ll have to get my own food.

Because of Bill Clinton’s bold welfare reform in 1996 the number of people on welfare dropped from 12.2 million to just 4.5 million. And about sixty percent of mothers left welfare and got work. What has Bush done? Oh, right, he stole an election, started a fraudulent war and gave the rich a tax cut!

Great going FIRM. My thanks to all of the folks involved from the bottom of my wallet. How do you spell local apathy, mine included? Bulletin Board>September 9

Homeland Security reads BigPineKey.com

THE WORLD'S UGLIEST CAR IS RESTORED BY MECHANIC ANDY SAUNDERS, DORSET, BRITAIN - MAR 2005

[Boondocks new sign] I love it and I think it looks great. The whole place looks good and this area needed something that everyone,  including kids of all ages, a place where everyone can be together and have a great time. Remember when Boondocks looked like a scary place, even in the day light? Great improvement. Kudos to all that work there for they have made Boondocks a better place too.

I am not so sure that John Ramsey and Bill O'Reilly look alike, but I have noticed a resemblance between Mick Jagger and Barney Fife.

Why are we still in Iraq when Iraqis don’t care about democracy or each other? If they don’t want to stop killing each other do you really think that they’ll stop killing foreigners (coalition forces) no matter how long we stay?

[Piners that resemble those from the bowels of Philadelphia] Now why did you want to go on and say something so abrasive as that about Philly Phanatics?   Folks from the bowels of Philly have an opinion about almost anything and will give you the fight of your life.  Why not leave that sleeping dog lie?

I am asking any women in this area who have been around  long enough to know, where does a woman find good gynecological care?  I am unfortunately forced to find someone immediately and have much trepidation.  The urgent care Dr. I went to see has referred me to a Dr I'm having trouble locating.  Any recommendations would be so appreciated.

To the person who sent the Silvairehair cross country photos from the small plane, thank you.  I really enjoyed the trip. Is there a website URL that I can forward to friends?

[Why Muslims hate Israel] The Jews were not wanted in most European countries for the same reasons they were hated in the old world. Russia, Germany and many others tried to evict them, but they had no where to go, so the British in their inept way, dumped them into what is now Israel. The Muslims had to cope with it. It isn't working and never will.

Does anyone here know they have misplaced the tape of the first words spoken on the moon?  How could they be misplaced?

Monroe County Ord: Sec. 3-10.  Seizure of animals by property owners or tenants; delivery to department manager; impoundment and disposal; standard of care to be exercised by seizing party.                 

The board finds and declares that problems of animal overpopulation in Monroe County require not only the resources of the county's animal control department, but also the aid and assistance of private deputies. Therefore:                                 
(1)     It is lawful for a property owner or tenant to seize in an humane manner any dog, cat or other animal running at large on his property in violation of section 3-7 of this chapter. Where such seizure is made, the property owner or tenant shall immediately deliver the animal to the department manager or his assistant. The property owner or tenant shall treat the animal humanely and shall exercise utmost care to ensure the animal's safety and well being.                                     
(2)     The department manager may impound any animal delivered by its owner, or by a property owner or tenant pursuant to paragraph (1), and may release or dispose of the animal pursuant to this chapter.        
(3)     Any person who seizes an animal pursuant to this section shall exercise utmost care to treat the animal humanely and to avoid any injury, sickness, hunger or any other ailment or affliction whatsoever in both the seizure of the animal and the delivery of the animal to the department manager. Any person unable to comply with the foregoing for any reason shall not seize and deliver any animal; and any person who does injure or maim any animal or who does subject an animal to hunger, sickness, or any other ailment or affliction, either intentionally or negligently, in the exercise of the person's authority under this section, is in violation of this chapter and subject to the penalties herein.                 

Why are you putting down the Bacon Grease Guy sexually? Fat chicks are fat chicks and should be culled out of humanity like any other garbage. If your DNA says these fat ugly piles of decaying protoplasm are cool, you need help.

My Safe Florida Home?  http://www.mysafefloridahome.com/  Does anyone know what is going down here? Is this a Code Enforcement home inspection scheme or what?  Some how I don't trust this gig.  The My Safe Florida Home, grant money, is another "movement" of funds from one tax bucket into another. You pay for it in the end. The insurances companies aren't losing a cent of their obnoxiously over priced policies.

[Gynecologist] Dr. Valle on Stock Island is awesome, but she no longer accepts any insurance.  So if you got bucks go see her.  I have a friend that does not have insurance and she has been going to Woman Kind in Marathon for years.

In most states, Police vehicles have to obey the exact same driving laws as do the civilians, unless they are in pursuit or on a call, in which case they have to have their emergency lights on and if not doing a silent approach, their sound warning devices. If you see an officer doing something illegal, you as a citizen can issue a verbal ticket as part of a Citizens Arrest. Then report him/her.

In reality, good luck. Even filing a grievance or complaint is dangerous, especially in the Keys.

Jihad Bride Magazine May 2004

John Ramsey looks like Bull O’Riley" Time for an eye exam?

Please turn off that light bulb next to the person's not-so-bright idea to change all the fire hydrants to salt water.  I'd like to know how the fire fighters would flush out their tankers and engines with no fresh water hydrants.  Perhaps that person would be happy that the county would have to spend millions to replace corroded trucks, water mains, and hydrants every couple of years.  Also, that person obviously has no clue what damage would be done from salt water being sprayed everywhere.

I don’t believe that we should have gotten into Viet Nam, but once in we should have finished it and done it without journalist or political, or public advice. Because of the cut and run policy back then five million people died after we left Viet Nam. Those innocent souls are millstones around the necks of peace protesters and will have to be explained on judgment day. We can’t make the same mistake again. Fight to win, not to try and please the world.  

[A lot of us protesters were not just protesting the fact of war, but how the war was run by politicians and not generals] Sure you were.  And Hanoi Jane (Fonda) was actually a big help to the POWs.  Yep, we don't need to worry about freedom or democracy with patriots like you around.

[Boondocks sign] How frickin pitiful!  Simply stated, the owners of that place feel it is more important to grub up more money for their pockets than to leave you alone in peace.  Yea, thanks a lot.  We are subjected to so much visual clutter that some unscrupulous businessmen take it upon themselves to make it even worse.  What's next?  What is the worst scenario you can imagine, look at the number of proprietorships there are and then imagine each one with a flashing sign.  Due to simple economics these signs will only proliferate.  What is to stop your favorite store owner from erecting their own flashing sign.  Blah,  blah, blah!  I'm sorry to keep ranting, but we are more than just moth consumers attracted to a flame.  Yes this includes everyone; Keys disease person, retirement person, healthy living person, sometime resident person.  You are all more important than what these owners think of you.  Do not allow the fertile seed of thought that is in your head to be subjected to such petty intrusions.   

Putting a GPS on a police vehicle?  Who will we be able to trust if not our police?

There's a square grouper yacht for sale near Coco's, on Cudjoe, MM 22.5, if anyone wants to reminisce.

[Salvation Army] My hat is off to yesterday’s poster and I believe them. That's my opinion and it's the only one that really matters to me.

[Bad Dog] http://www.dogbitelaw.com/  If the dog attacks, call the Police and Animal Control. Carry a big can of pepper spray for the mutt and take pictures when it attacks your animal and the Key Deer.  You need to call the Police or a Lawyer to find out if you can legally shoot it if it attacks while walking down the street.  I don't think you can discharge a firearm in Monroe County unless it's under the Castle Doctrine.  I wouldn't trust the mis-information here from Joe Public. 

Sharon Ward and Kellie Valle are both well reputed gynecologists and women and current with new technologies.

I met a young woman in Key West today who thought that the Taliban was a building in Afghanistan, similar to the Pentagon in Washington, D.C.

[Abortion versus iguanas versus life in general]  Isn't it ironic, don't you think, a little too ironic, that there are so many people desperate to adopt a child that most adopted children are either black or Asian.  Why, cause white woman abort theirs.  Wouldn't you rather go through the horrible pain of giving your baby away to a loving family versus looking back and there is nothing, no DNA, just immense regret.  Abortion forever changes and alters who you are and forever terminates who your child would have been.  Whatever happened to common sense; much less common decency?  To those who feel this is an inappropriate subject due to the morality aspect, I repeat: we only get angry and defensive when we know we are wrong.  This isn't about judgment.  It's about responsibility.  You do the crime you pay the fine. You have sex and get pregnant, then you deal with the consequences for at least 9 months.  Not 9 days.

Is anyone else in the neighborhood bothered by the annoying, yapping dog on Poinciana Ave in Palm Villa?  The thing goes off every morning between 5:30 and 6:00 am, and continues incessantly, sometimes for hours.  I'm not even a close neighbor, and I haven't had a good night's sleep since they got the little yapper.  It's so utterly intrusive and disruptive; the fact that the owners let it go on and on is just ridiculous.  Does anyone have any information concerning who to lodge a complaint with, or the phone number to call?  I thought the neighbors with the squawking parrot were bad, but this is absurd.

Sunday August 20, 2006

Saturday August 19, 2006

For those of you bashing the Salvation Army, I volunteer there, and therefore have a first hand idea of what goes on.  First for the person that made a statement that everything is stolen and goes out the back door. The employees that buy stuff, pay for it and like any customer gets a receipt.  As for the 50% sale, if we didn't have sales, no one would shop.  It is a benefit for you, the shopper, not for the store to get rid of stuff.  There are not enough hours in the day to move everything out.  As for profit.  You have no idea of the high rent, the salary of employees, etc.  The store has to meet a daily sales quota just to meet expenses and stay open.  As for the FREE donations, yes, there are those people who out of the goodness of their hearts donate, but let us not forget, they also get a receipt and use it for an income tax deduction.  There are those who donate good and sellable goods, and there are those who drop off pure garbage that they did not want to put out in the street.  We refer to that as "Midnight delivery" where they drop off broken TV's. washers and dryers, torn couches, badly stained mattress's, etc. 

We get bags with dead animals in them, we get bags of clothes covered with mold and I could go on for pages of what we get and what has to be thrown out.  We have rings of shoppers; 3 families, one keeps the cashier busy while the other two are stealing and going out the door.  We have cars pull in on weekends (Nice cars) whose occupants get out and start tearing apart the donation bags and helping themselves to clothes and other donated goods.  So, let’s not bash the store and the hard working employees.  The store has to make a profit in order to then give out money during times of emergency, social services etc, etc.  Instead of bitching, why don't you donate some of your time and come and volunteer.

FIRM's work is paying off. Our Insurance rates will not only be lowered, we should get a credit! Let’s not drop the ball. Key West has been doing a great job. Show your support at the FIRM fund raiser Sept. 9th at Coconuts. More info is on the way.

John Ramsey looks like Bull O’Riley

[Viet Nam protesters were right all along] A lot of us protesters were not just protesting the fact of war, but how the war was run by politicians and not generals. We were right to protest and we knew it. Nixon tear gassed us and had us beaten, but we knew that right would win in the end. Stuff that up your Republican arse!

I wonder if the fresh water lens on the islands been replenished to pre-Wilma levels yet.

[Square Grouper] I got a real good deal on a hundred pounds of pot once. I didn’t know what the smell was, but I thought it was ok. I was blinded by greed. No one could smoke it because it was Diesel Weed. Weed that was in the bilge of a shrimp boat that had fuel leak on it. Awful. I lost my shirt. So much for greed.

What do you call the scarification on the trunks of trees where the Key deer have tried to rub the velvet off their antlers?

[The big letdown] I wonder what it’s like for those bridezillas who plan their wedding for almost a year. In that time they are the center of the universe; the world revolves around them, they’re the star. What happens the day after the wedding? They’re just another boring housewife. They’ll never be the center of attention again. What a terrible letdown. I say elope!

How to deter telemarketers: as far as the Cop telemarketer, just ask them to mail a document, they'll hang up immediately.

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977) Everyone is going on about the 29th anniversary of Elvis’s death. I think this was a bigger loss to the world of entertainment.

[Dust Art] When the dust gets thick on the back window of his Mini Cooper, Scott Wade uses it as a canvas to create temporary works of art.  Among his creations was a copy of C.M. Coolidge's 'A Friend in Need,' better known as dogs playing poker. Besides his finger, Wade uses traditional art tools, such as paintbrushes, and unconventional ones, like a chewed Popsicle stick, to make his drawings.

"It is better to die with memories than to live with only dreams. Sometimes love is for a moment, sometimes love is for a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime."

[Pay to read the Citizen online] This is a second fee you must pay to read anything online, even if you pay for the paper already.

Spectacular aerial views from a small plane out west. (takes forever to load) OSHKOSH 2006

When they say no parking on the beach, They mean no parking!

To comment on the post of the person who now understands why Muslims hate Israel, your appalling ignorance on the subject defies explanation. There is nothing so scary as true ignorance in action, where have you lived your life, who has been telling you these fairy tales? Did you really say that these Muslims were living happily in Palestine before they lost their land? Unbelievable.

This puzzle is hard. tangram game

Sandbar free sunset cruise was not the owner. The guy who took you out works for mosquito control.

What's the beef with New Jersey.  I like our anti-social attitudes, and our desire to kill Jimmy Buffet, along with all he stands for, and hopefully never again subjected to his swill.  Let’s hear it all, Death to Jimmy Buffet and all his stinking Parrotheads!

That Bacon Grease guy that keeps writing in is nothing more than an insecure loser that can’t get laid by anything decent so he makes fun of overweight women. Face it buddy, those big girls are the only place you are going to get relief, so you better accept your fate and lighten up.

To the dentist bashers.  I am a retired dental employee.  After 23 years of being an assistant and office manager, I can only offer this.  Yes, patients are indeed screened over the phone. The reason being, most practices have structured hours (the burn-out rate is phenomenal) and their loyalty goes to the clients that are reliable and follow through with treatment that is proposed (it is a business after all), overhead and salaries come into play here.  I cannot tell you how many times we have put off a patient of record that has had a standing appointment for someone who just needs five minutes of our time to re-cement a crown, etc. only to have them come in and want five other problems addressed in that "five minutes". 

There is no such thing as a five minute appointment; especially if you are a new patient with an emergency.  OSHA regulations, and the FL. Board of Dentistry Ethics Rules make it almost impossible to just squeeze someone in.  We need a full medical history; the room must be sterilized not only for you, but after you, and according to these regulations, that in itself takes upwards of 20 minutes or more.  A lot of people have had bad experiences in the past which make them almost unmanageable to work on which requires even more time.  The person that calls with a crown (cap) off usually, but not always, shows up with part of their tooth in the crown due to decay issues and just wants a quick five minute re-cement--not going to happen!  This is where ethics comes in.  Sure, you can re-cement just about anything, but even when the client is told you need major reconstruction on this tooth, just to keep costs down, they opt for the cheapest way to "fix" the problem until they can get back home to their own dentist. They  will be the first person to call and bitch the next week when it comes out again and tell all of their friends not to go to that office.

As you know, on these islands, bad news travels quicker than the speed of sound.  Now you are pretty much married to said client who refuses to listen to what needs to be done.  Having dental work done is not only time consuming, but very expensive these days.  Most people cannot afford it.  Unfortunately it is like anything else, it is an investment. Some choose to invest in having their nails done on a weekly basis, their hair done on a monthly basis, a bar tab on a weekly basis, but what matters is what is important to each individual.

That is why potential patients are sometimes screened.

Events are occurring that require me to have a good gynecologist to turn to.  I am not from here and do not have a myriad of friends to look to for advice.  Any women who read and post here with good advice to feed back would be appreciated.  It is scary and necessary that I find someone competent within the next few days.  Help if you can.

What’s wrong with this country? Not only has professional fishing grown so spectacularly that last year's leading money winner earned $547,000, but popular "fantasy fishing" leagues, resembling fantasy baseball and football, employ elaborate statistical breakdowns of fishing tournaments to help players pick winners, according to a July Wall Street Journal report. "Average weight per fish (caught) over careers," "margin of victory (in pounds)," and other data points are plotted by players, along with weather reports, depth and temperature of tournament lakes, and intangibles such as "home-lake curse." The organization FLW Outdoors estimates 40,000 fantasy players, many of whom have never actually fished

I have to be honest. It would be tough to choose between the Bacon Grease girl and that pot-bellied pig. I think I'm leaning a little towards the pig, it looks cleaner.

I heard Warren Buffet was in No Name Pub and stuck a $10,000 bill somewhere on the ceiling or on one of the walls.

I bought 2 Pizzas for $40 and tipped the waitress $6 (15%). The Pizzas took the girl two minutes of total work. I had a $40 dinner in Key West, with private table, plates silverware, napkin, water, glass of wine, 3 course meal, and desert. The waitress worked for at least a half hour serving me, and it took an hour to eat my meal.  What's wrong with this tipping picture? The answer is, percentage tipping is BS.

Since most fire hydrants in Key West are fresh water, and are only used to fight fires, why not use salt water instead, and conserve fresh water for drinking? 

I like Boondocks new sign. It reminds me of the Flintstones. He should change the name to The Bedrock Bar,  or Barney's Beanery, or Fred's Favorite Front.

That person who is suing the state about the Handicap Parking Permit for Blondes is correct in doing so. We Blonde's need all the help we can mustered.

[I saw throwing something from the bridge today]  Kind of scary, one woman threw something and one woman condoned it. I hope it wasn't a baby. What was that song, “…Billy Jo McAllister throw something off the Tallahatchie bridge.”

Patrol cars in the keys need to have GPS devices installed. Our tax money is paying for a limited amount of police officers to drive recklessly and speed. They are not above the law and need to model correct driving behavior. They do not use turn signals and on more then one occasion I have recorded these police officers speeding down US1 between Upper Sugarloaf and Summerland exceeding 61 MPH. We need noble officers but not reckless ones.  The City of Key West is planning on installing GPS devices in their vehicles following inline with Keys Electric and Mosquito Control. If patrol cars really do not have GPS units they need them and they need to be monitored for our safety and theirs.

[Square Grouper] I don't remember ever buying any square groupers but I have many a fond memories of saving them from drowning and relocating them.

[Boondocks sign] The sign is so not noticeable. Get over it.

An un-social, vicious dog lives in our neighborhood and got away from its owner and almost injured another animal.  We have many Key Deer and some cats lounging, not to mention some have friendly dogs which could be fatally mauled by this creature.  A Sheriff told me that one can use deadly force to protect yourself and your animal from such occurrences.  Any suggestions, legal and moral would be greatly appreciated.  I hope they read this and vigilantly hold tighter to the leash and get some training before this liability costs them money and their animal is destroyed. We would all hate to see that happen.   

[God’s Candidate] The Citizen article "Development Sets Candidates Apart" covered your and Sylvia Murphy's participation in the recent candidates forum on Key Largo.

I did not attend because I only received an invitation the day before and already had plans to play bridge that day in Marathon with a 90-year-old woman friend, who'd recently had a stroke and who looks forward to our bridge games, as do I.

I didn't want to go in any event, because candidates were given only 3-4 minutes to speak, and I simply cannot imagine getting to know you or any other candidate, or anyone, in just 3-4 minutes. But I'm glad The Citizen was there and reported it, especially your closing remark in your and Sylvia's exchange --"The bottom line is, 'Do no harm.'"

I rather imagine that the trees, birds and butterflies and other native animals and wild plants in the Keys, and the Keys and seas around them could not agree more.

In the meantime, are you also running into registered voters who do not know county commissioners run for office at large, and that a registered voter living anywhere in Monroe County can vote for any county commissioner running for office, regardless of where that voter lives in the county?

(?)I just want to say thank you for that awe inspiring image of hope.  It made my day.  I printed it and put it up on the fridge.  When I look at it, I feel joyful and a little thirsty, but mostly joyful. Actually, more thirsty, but in a good way.

Saturday August 19, 2006

Friday August 18, 2006

Good News concerning FIRM and their accomplishments! Kevin McCarty announced today a 32% reduction in Windstorm premiums for Monroe County.

The new Boondocks sign is a little on the large side...too much for Ramrod.  It looks more like something that should be at Holiday Isle. Tacky.

[Hawk’s Cay Music Festival] Although this does sound like a great event that I too would love to have known about and had an opportunity to attend, there is actually a very good reason why the local Chamber Of Commerce and local media had not been informed.  check out their website for it at: www.trueexperience.net.

This event was set up, through a promotions company in Atlanta, in conjunction w/ an Atlanta radio station.  This event is being marketed to an ATLANTA audience, enticing them on a tropical trip, most likely through a specific travel company in Atlanta, to come down to the Keys to a private island, for concerts & music from various artists.  You'll see they set a limit of 900 people maximum.  Think of this as a "themed cruise," only without the 'cruise.'

It's not out of the question for a resort down here in the Keys, during our slow season, which we ARE in, to basically "charter out" big sections of their properties for trips like this, to draw new tourist in with exclusive events like this.  We all know how much tourism is our life-blood here.  Being able to fill a resort in the middle of August, brings in the money when we, down here, need it the most. 

In the end, it's not that they don't want the locals at the event; they will gladly offer you the exact same packages they offer the Atlanta audience, so don't expect a "locals discount" of any sort.  I'm sure they expected that details on the event would get around via the coconut telegraph, but it was not being targeted to the Key's locals.  They were most likely on a limit of the number of units/tickets they could sell, and wanted the opportunity to sell them to their target market audience.

Look at it this way, a group of 900 people will be visiting the Keys, in what is typically a slow season.  While here, they will spend money, and most likely explore the keys a bit, and hopefully, they will return again.

[Bacon grease] Getting fat is the least of your worries from cooking with bacon grease. I too was raised with my mother cooking everything in bacon grease until I found out that the grease coats your arties until blood will not flow to your heart; not to mention the super concentration of preservatives that collects in the grease.

Jim Cameron is in the news a little too much again (Remember him from the stupid movement to make Big Pine a city?) He’s now the controversial chairman of the County’s planning commission. It seems that he gives short shrift to those who appear before him that he disagrees with.

I had to go before the KW City Commission once and let me tell you, it is scary! I was so nervous I couldn’t think. It was awful. I can only imagine what it would be like if there was someone chairing the meeting who was short and curt with me. I would have totally gone paranoid. We need chairpeople who are unbiased. I don’t think anyone who’s followed Mr Cameron thru the years could say that he’s unbiased.

[Exploding bra] Would that be a booby trap?

Wal-Mart closed its stores in Germany because they were losing money. I wonder why when they do so well elsewhere? Stores used to be closed in Germany on Saturday and Sunday. I don't know if they still are like that now. that might have something to do with it.

[Great Idea] Make all markets license shopping carts. After all, they do more damage than a fender bender.

Note to self: Never layoff employee and have him finish assignment. (The door says: And take your doughnuts with you too!)

Boondocks’ new electronic sign is crass. That is not the place for dynamic electric signs. That sort of sign belongs in a crowded business district where competition is keen; not on Ramrod Key where nothing is keen. I used to think those guys that run Boondocks were community minded. I think one of them is the head of the Chamber of Commerce here?

How can I sue the State of Florida for denying me a handicap parking permit. I'm a real blonde and can prove it.

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

[Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan] And your point is? I mean... if it was anyone else but Hillary collecting this retirement package, it would be OK with you? You must surely realize that this is given to all senators, not just the ones you don't particularly like.  If you can prove differently, I'd love to see it. If not, you're just showing your bias which doesn't mean much any more to the 60% of Americans who see through it, according to recent polls.

[Square Grouper]  Within the next year the US government will no longer be supplying the state of Florida with the air power and military to fight the war on drugs.  They are redirecting the funds to fight the war on terror.  Hence we may be seeing the groupers floating again once more.  Then maybe I can buy I house down here. 

Want to get rid of those pesky aisle displays at Winn Dixie? Bash into them every time you go by making sure you knock over at least one a trip.  Soon they will figure out that there is not enough room for the shoppers and the pesky displays.  I usually start with the paper and plastic ones. If they do not get the hint, move on to cans and glass later.  If we all try this I think that they will soon understand they are in the way.

I believe in these difficult and mean-spirited times in which we live there needs to be a message of hope. Just a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace and joy.  An image that suggests the universal brotherhood of man.  I have found that image, and I ask that all of you take a moment to be inspired by it.

As a local business owner (not a dentist), I am always amazed at some of the attacks towards other local business owners by people in the community who didn't get what they wanted when they wanted it, and take it out on the business owner.  I have found that the people who you cannot accommodate when they want something are the most rude, and they tend to get defensive and ask "why don't you want my business?" 

Most of the time I have no idea who these people are, it's not personal, it's just that I am busy and cannot accommodate them today.  They don't want to wait till tomorrow or till when I have availability.  Then it becomes a personal attack towards me, because they didn't get what they wanted.  In certain businesses, if you call a them and have an emergency, and they don't have availability, and you are not one of their clients, don't get mad at them, call another business of the same type and see who does.  That is the way it always works.  But, to publicly attack someone because they wouldn't take you, just shows everyone else that you are one of those people who complain about everything and are exactly the client that I don't want.  If you don't show the business owner respect and you only expect respect, you are the one with the problem. I have "fired" clients because they are disrespectful. The people who are most understanding are the ones who have had a business or are generally nice and respectful to other people.  If you respect me, I will respect you.  Anyone who always plays the victim is someone who victimizes themselves.  Before you accuse someone of bad behavior, check your behavior first.  Hopefully, you will have the ability to learn from your bad behavior.  Not every business fits the needs of every customer; that's not bad, that's commerce.  To publicly say that a business must be hurting for business and that's why they are taking new clients, just shows me how self-centered, ignorant, and small minded you are. 

Found dog on Big Pine, Port Pine Heights.  Please call 849-2591 if you know who she belongs too, she misses them.

The best fib of all:  Big Pine Civic Association was neural on incorporation.

Thanks to the person who sent in the excellent suggestions about how to deter telemarketers. The scariest part is that they would not be in business if people were not buying what they are selling. One thing that really irritates me is when telemarketers act like they are with the police. Did you ever notice they use their best authoritative sounding voice? These clowns are using intimidation to solicit funds, and from what I've read, only about 10% actually goes to the cops.  

News flash! OJ Simpson claims to have found wife’s killer.

What a nice surprise the Bacon Grease Woman has returned!  I hope to see her at the Cow Palace on Friday night. She is very sexy.

Has anyone noticed that you now have to pay to read a complete story in the Key West Citizen online? For a month now you could read only one of the Citizen's Voice comments unless you purchased the subscription. Now today I went to read a front page story and it would only allow me to read the first few lines unless I paid for the subscription. Hell, it only has three pages and the only thing good in it was the Voice. Does Ed Swift now own the Citizen?

My neighbor from the far North seems to have acquired a pot-bellied pig that he named Petunia. He lets that porker run around in his yard all day and root up everything. The funniest (and most annoying) thing is what happens when he gets drunk- he plunks his fat butt down in a lounge chair, makes kissing sounds and yells out "Petunia, Petunia, pretty girl, come to daddy." I know one thing for sure- if I hear it squealing in the night I am not going to look.

To the young woman I saw throwing something from the bridge today: I hope you are O.K. You looked like you had a bad time; so from one woman to another… it will get better!

[Parrotdise was once called The Sandbar]  You’re correct.  Parrotdise was once the sandbar.  The boat rides are a thing of the past but the man you referred to was Capt. Gary.  As nice as the boat ride was it was a money loser and was discontinued long ago.  The restaurant is now under new ownership.  The food is very good although somewhat more upscale and pricy.  Give them a try for a lunch or dinner.

"The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. War is a way of shattering to pieces, or pouring into the stratosphere, or sinking in the depths of the sea, materials which might otherwise be used to make the masses too comfortable, and hence, in the long run, too intelligent. Even when weapons of war are not actually destroyed, their manufacture is still a convenient way of expending labour power without producing anything that can be consumed". --George Orwell, ‘1984’

[If this (Israel displacing Palestinians) happened in the Keys what would you do]  Gee, I don't know.  Maybe I would just strap a bomb to myself, head to a heavily populated area, blow up myself and as many innocent civilians as I could.  Yes, that's what I would do.  That would show them.

[History has proven that we were absolutely correct about Viet Nam] No, I think what it proved is that you can't let politicians and public opinion dictate how a war is fought unless you want complete failure.  Too bad Israel didn't learn from that mistake.

For us older people the following combinations do not go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends

IKC annual awards banquet is next week.  The annual awards for most kills and largest kill will be given out.  A new president will be installed, and a new club house consecrated with the blood of 100 iguanas.  Our new president is the grandson of our founder and an outstanding Iguana killer in his own right.  It is an honor to serve under such a blood thirsty dignitary. Congratulations Big _ _ _ _ _.  May you reign long and kill many more Iguanas.  May you hang many tails from the new clubhouse walls.  Fly the flag with honor.  We bow to your distinguished personage. Naturally, roasted iguana tail will be served.

Mr. President, why don’t you pull out…like your father should have?

Regarding FEMA and the canal clean up. As you wanted to make a wager, first I would need to know what is your farm worth? Then we can quit the B.S and get down to the nitty-gritty of the wager.

Questions and answers to Sloan Bashinsky from the Hometown PAC Long Winded Tomes

[Muslims hate Israelis] Before you speak read a History book.

You are right the aisles at WD are just full of junk displays that interfere with customer shopping. Those displays have nothing to do with added revenues.  Most of it can be put on the shelves, I'm sure.

Ha-ha. Just because I defend New Jersey doesn't mean I'm from there.  I'm a Florida cracker and proud of it.  But I do have great friends in New Jersey who make some Piners look as if they belong in the bowels of Philadelphia.

Don't worry about sticking a mug shot of Mo(?) on your site, they have a cross-eyed dashboard bubble head figure of him on the web for sale. If they can do it to JC, why not him?

Friday August 18, 2006

Thursday August 17, 2006

I understand why the Muslims hate Israel. They were living happily in Palestine and then one day the UN, or somebody, says to them that they are giving your land away and you all have to move because they’re taking your land for another religious group to live in. Please leave your houses for them and your fields and groves. Thank you. (Many of the Palestinian families had owned that land for centuries; yes, that land had been in their family for centuries!)

If this happened in the Keys what would you do? Would you say, “Ok they need a place to live too? They can have my house and land and I’ll move to Miami and start all over.”

[Campaign donations/contributions] There is a deadline to start and stop taking contributions before the elections. All contributions left in the account after spending is closed can be disposed of in two ways: Give the money back to the person who contributed the money, which would include the candidate and loans to him/herself, or,  give the money to a non-profit.

However, before spending is closed all debts which have to be settled at time of purchase, which could include a victory or loss party depending on the outcome of the race. At the county level the money can not, under any circumstance, be kept.

[Reliving the 60’s anti-war liberal protests] And history has proven that we were absolutely correct.

Catching little Ramsey’s murderer will do little for her mother who died with out public vindication. The whole family was destroyed by this murder. First by having their child brutally killed; and by having the whole country think the family had something to do with it. This has been a tragedy by all accounts.

No one should be surprised that the killer saw JonBenet at a kiddy beauty pageant. Those pageants are filled with pedophiles. Who else would like to see a six year old child dressed up like an adult hooker? There should be shame on the Ramseys for that and nothing else.

I have to laugh when someone says NJ is a nice place to live. I guess that's why there are so many people wanting to move there.

Every place I have ever lived it takes minimum a month to get into a new dentist.  I'm sure if I had an emergency I would have to call around to find one that wasn't booked up.  They are just in high demand.

 “                       .” --Harpo Marx

I sent my opinion about vacation rentals and calling the police on obnoxious renters and the responsibility that rental and real estate companies should take in this epidemic. Ed, why didn't you post my opinion?  This is a real problem in the Keys.  The owners of the rental houses find out when they come back to their homes and find them trashed and the monies that they made goes right back into repairing the house.  I guess it's good for a tax write-off, but I see renters going wild sometimes.  I have the problem right next door to me and it's not only the loud music all night long.  I've seen drunken renters throwing dead fish in the canal.  In this heat that makes for a stinky environment.  The list goes on and on of bad behavior by renters.

Let everybody say, "Awwwww.}

Vacation rentals of less than 28 days, are not legal in most neighborhoods in the unincorporated County.  Outside of the cities, vacation rentals are outlawed in improved subdivisions.  This leaves only neighborhoods zoned MU Multiple Use, SR Suburban Residential, SC Suburban Commercial, and may be CFV Commercial Fishing Village to have legal rentals of less than 28 days.

Urban Legends’ Clinton bashing. Urban Legends Reference Pages: Landlord of Misrule

Balloons galore. The 2006 RE/MAX Ballunar Liftoff Festival Aug 25, 26, 27 at NASA/Johnson Space Center.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which means that even if she never gets reelected, she still receives her Congressional salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?) If Bill outlives her, he then inherits her salary until he dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets his salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? We do.

What every man wants.

[Tips for Handling Telemarketers] Three Little Words That Work. (1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..." Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt. Then when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task. These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

(3) Junk Mail Help: When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 37 cents postage "If" and when they receive them back. It costs them nothing if you throw them away. The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

One of Andy Rooney's (60 Minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 37 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to overwhelm them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea! If enough people follow these tips, it will work.

[Family unity, cleanliness and decency come from New Jersey] And the problem is that they leave all that in NJ when they come down here.  (Especially the decency.)

What's up with all the bashing of Jersey girls? Being a girl, born and raised in Florida for past 46 years, one thing I know is fat girls are everywhere! (Ed: See bacon grease lady II)

There's hope for us yet.  Children should be seen and not heard. Damn right! Read this:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14136994/?GT1=8404  And it's about time.

You whiners should be happy you have 3 top notch dental facilities near Big Pine.  I've been to all 3 and was happy with the work at all of them.  It's a free market place.  Ever hear the horror stories from Miami "dentists"?

I can't wait for Lost Cargo to open on Big Pine Key. I've heard it through the grape vine that they'll have great name brand stuff for a lot cheaper than the mainland and they’re not knock-offs. Go Lisa and Chuck, we love you!

An Israeli woman's breast implants saved her life when she was wounded in a Hezbollah rocket attack. Doctors found shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants, just inches from the 24-year-old's heart. "She was saved from death," said a spokesman for the hospital. The woman has been released from hospital.

[Sandbar restaurant] That nice man is Banks Prevatt. You can find him at Coldwell Banker in Big Pine.

Ed: You have got bigger huevos than anyone at the NY Times and Comedy Central put together; you showed a picture of Mohammed. Now where are you going to live? (Ed: You know, I actually thought twice about printing a picture of him. What a strange and dangerous world we live in.)

Percentage of Americans who, in a survey by Denny's restaurants, said they prefer their eggs:
Percentage who said they like their eggs scrambled: 43
Percentage who said they like them over easy: 18
Percentage who said they like them sunny-side up: 7
Percentage who said they "don't know" how they like their eggs: 1

[Missing MLS]  Wake up man, the realtors never wanted the MLS to be free, they lost money that way. As is the web, pay me or else!

[Exploding Bra] This is only the start. There are plans to inspect breasts for hidden inserts that may be bombs.  All women will be hand searched for Tittybombs, by TSA employees, several times. If Silicone Implants are detected, an additional carry on fee may apply.

[Square Grouper] It's a damn shame they don't sell square groupers, like in the old days!

Sir Winston Churchill: “The best argument against democracy is a 5 minute conversation with a voter.” The constitution tells us all who is to blame for the problems of our country, WE THE PEOPLE. Ring a bell?

[NetZero will be your Internet Service Provider and AOL will be your email client] It doesn’t get any worst than this. Both of these advertising blood suckers should be keel-hauled for the trash they stick into your computer. They are the junk of ISPs.

[Helicopter Flying Lessons] This will drive you crazy. Think you can fly a helicopter or might be able to fly one? Okay, go ahead and give it your best shot. Warning...this is addictive (and not easy!)

Click on the helicopter, hold the left mouse key down to go up and release the key to go down. But take heed, don't start with this thing... it'll drive you nuts! Don't tell me I didn't warn you. Later.

Ready to start? OK. Click on the link: http://www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swf
It takes patience. Hey, don't get mad at me, I didn't design it.

Deer Ed: I must say, you really know how to kill the punch line of a joke with your censorship tactics! And also tell me, why no racial, local business, local political, and cop bashing. You afraid to be spanked, or are you one of Them?

Winn Dixie has got to get rid of those crap displays clogging up the aisles. You can't even get through some of them any more. I know those aisle displays are another source of revenue for the bankrupt store. W/D needs money so badly that they are putting the customer second to their survival. Clear the aisles!

It has taken a few years to locate the neighbor who attempts to access my computer with a remote; it only happens when this individual is home.  After clicking on "Never allow" they keep persisting.  Shall I call this peculiar neighbor and/or my ISP? Is there any software which can definitely confirm where this remote request is coming from?  I am 99% positive it is from my neighbor and would like to publicly advise this person to get a life and stay out of mine, although I cannot blame you for being so amazed and intrigued with me. 
(Lousy tech support: This is an easy one. Download ZoneAlarm, the highly rated, free firewall. It notifies you when someone is trying to access your computer and usually tells you who it is. We use Zone Alarm at headquarters for all our computers.)

[Lost Cargo Trading Post] Oh, my, what is next?  I'm never going to get this place open. Job got red tagged yesterday. What next? At this rate I'll be lucky to be open by Fantasy Fest! Thanks for the ad about us coming soon I've had a few friends notice.

[Sandbar free boat trips] That man on the pontoon boat was a really nice man, still is. We bought property from him and are as happy as we were on the sunset cruise.

"The TSA has announced that starting immediately no bras ..."   Maybe they should just ban women over 40 from flying altogether.  It's just not safe. Imagine sitting next to a New Jersey women and hitting turbulence?

Usadatanet.net is also $9.95 a month for slow dial up. It doesn't get any better than this!

[You do not have a clue what hardship is] The majority of people today have it much easier than previous generations.  And, since everything is relevant to personal experience, they don't believe that; and you'll never convince them otherwise.  But, if we continue to sympathize with Islamic fascist, you know, the ones with kind eyes, they soon will know hardship--the real kind.

[Email scams] You have only received 8-12 scam e-mails? I wish I could get down to that number. You don't have to do anything to get spam. The spammers now use programs to address their spam mail to every possible address at a particular domain. like @aol.com.

For you and other internet novices, a few tips. If you list an e-mail address online you can expect plenty of spam. The spammers still use Internet "robots", programs to search for e-mail addresses on web pages, since these are considered more valuable active accounts. Signup for a free e-mail account with gmail.com, yahoo.com or hotmail.com and use it for the duration of the ad and then unsubscribe. More sites are allowing small pictures of your e-mail address to fool the robots. These are easy to make and can even be done online. Some are even using programs to hide the address from view but still provide a workable link. These are usually offered only for paid ads.

[Shotgun house] During my past days as a slumlord, we use to call them railroad apartments.

New Jerseyite! Don't get your panties in an uproar because the whole country calls New Jersey the armpit of the country. I didn't make that one up. Why in the world would there be so many jokes that have traveled around the country for years about Jersey' stench, etc?  Come on, it isn't just the residents of Big Pine Key that think that way, it's national. If you have a problem with that, do your part to try to change the national opinion of your state by changing the way you act. Every Jersey resident that lets their human side show will help. Why don't you drop your anger and try to exemplify what you feel the rest of the country isn't seeing about you guys?

3 Doors Down and other Bands at Hawks Cay Thurs, Fri and Sat. There has been an absolute news blackout concerning this that I find interesting. It seems like locals are not welcome. The price is steep--$165.85 for a "credential" which can only be obtained by reserving a room or cottage. These cost a minimum of $179 or $399/night for either 4 or 6 people.

Too steep for my wallet, but considering how much a ticket to The Stones or Billy Joel costs, some locals might be willing to go. But they are not trying to attract our unique and sometimes bizarre residents. I guess we are not "normal" or "refined" enough for Duck Key. God forbid we dirty up the floors! To quote their website, "it is most likely there will not be Credentials available to those that stay off property".

The pool area is near navigable waters which the last time I checked is open to all. I hear they will try to keep boaters away for "security reasons" The website for the info is www.trueexperience.net.

The money from their private show in New Orleans, went to help Katrina issues. I wonder if the Hawk's Cay show will go toward Wilma issues here in the Keys. That would be a good thing, because there are still many people here in the Keys that are still reeling from last year. The National headlines over Katrina sort of made us a lower priority, but our economy is still feeling the effects from Wilma.

I would have never known about this event, if it wasn't for a bar owner's knowledge. There is not one word of this in The Keynoter, Free Press, Citizen, Reporter, or the Chamber of Commerce websites. 

With a maximum of 900 ticket holders plus musicians and support staff and crew, might some of them spend some money on the other Keys? 

[God’s candidate revisited] Dear Keys people...Long Winded Tomes

From Fortune magazine: Ethanol could leave the world hungry. “One tank full of the latest craze in alternative energy could feed one person for a year”, Lester Brown tells Fortune.

16 days on my back like a log, now I'm home again, jiggittey jog. Great spirit leads the staff at the VA hospital to once again bring me back from the pit. With doctors like them, and good vibes from friends like y'all, I beat the devil again. My deepest thanks, and very best wishes to all. I'll be caught up on stuff in a few days, so I'll be back in contact soon. Back to restart pulmonary rehab therapy on Aug 22. –Royboy

Thursday August 17, 2006

Wednesday  August 16, 2006

In some states you can sell used motor oil back to the company or to the state and get up to $.12 a quart for it. They can recycle oil endlessly. This should be in effect in Florida.

Timothy Goll of Alligator Poaching fame on Big Pine is back on the Sheriff's web site.

The problem is Dr. Troxel does not take on new patients, also Dr. Golden has the same attitude, but not as bad. We had just moved down and our first week here my husband developed a severe infection in his gums.  I called both Dr. Troxel and Dr. Golden--neither one would see him and the first appointment would be in about a month. In the mean time his face was swollen and he couldn’t eat. Someone referred me to Summerland Dental. They took him right away. That was 17 years ago. I always refer Summerland dental.

Oh, aren’t you all a sad bunch?  Whine, whine and whine.  You do not have a clue what hardship is.  Not in the near term but historically.  I sincerely hope your interest is compounded daily. 

If you have a problem with Israel, get over it.  They are a small country surrounded by their enemies.  Israel has been the target of terror attacks since its creation.  As long as Muslim extremists vow to wipe out Israel and people such as the leaders of Syria and Iran express interest in a second Holocaust, Israel will be forced to fight for its own survival.  Israel has no interest in ruling the world.  They are just getting tired of always being the target of terrorism. 

[Missing MLS] I'd also like to know what happened to the previously-easy-to-find Keys MLS.  I browse it every day and now I have to go through a realtor's website to see the listings.  It's much easier to go directly to the MLS.  Many of the realtors' websites jumble the process.  I also wish the MLS would disclose the listing agent, or at least the agency.  I'm sure there's a good reason it doesn't appear.  I'm sure a good realtor will tell me what the good reason is. 

Hey, Lay off Jersey.  I have never been above the Mason Dixon line and am envious of anyone that has.  It sucks being me.

In 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh, had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior:  "A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.  A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."

Investigators have discovered that terrorists have developed an exploding bra and plan to use them aboard airplanes.  The TSA has announced that starting immediately no bras will be allowed past airport checkpoints and will be banned on all flights.  Women over the age of 40 were to be exempted until the TSA was threatened with a lawsuit for discrimination and profiling.

[Lieberman would have lost regardless]  I think it's great that the liberals are celebrating taking out one of their own because he's not liberal enough.  Many centrist Democrats think the party is driving toward a cliff.  I couldn't agree more.  Bon voyage.

Don’t condemn all Salvation Army Stores because of one dumb ass. The one in Big Pine gave me a voucher for clothing and helped me with my rent after the storm and sold me a couch for 10 dollars. Habitat tried to sell me a nasty couch for 200 dollars ( like I had two hundred after Wilma) so I think our Sallys in Big Pine is great and they run specials all the time.

Dog found: Black Lab, female on Middle Torch.  She has a faded red collar.  Call 745-4204

[Lieberman would have lost regardless what day the election was held] Isn’t it something that 48pct of Connecticut which is a very blue state voted pro bush in the primary, this bodes very well for the GOP in November.

[MLS (?)] Major league soccer, I'm guessing.

[New Keys MLS]  You have to go through the Fla Keys board of Realtors web page: http://www.flkeysboardofrealtors.com/  and click on "MLS Public Search" at the top of the page. It's not as nice as the old flkeysmls.com, but it's better than nothing.

[People didn’t like his (Lieberman's) support of the war]  Oh geeze, the anti-war liberals are reliving the good old days.  The familiar chant, "Hell no, we won't go" as catchy as it is, doesn't work this time as the military is all volunteer.  Of course, most of those chanting that last time weren't really worried about getting drafted as they sat comfortably in their college dorms that mommy and daddy were paying for.  But the anti-war protest rallies were so much fun and a great way to meet women.  It's kind of pathetic that the liberals are so desperately void of any worth while ideas that they have to relive the 60's.

I have to ads running. Both are running with my e-mail address on them and the problem is in the month or so I must have received 8-12 e-mail scams. I have turned some in to Yahoo but at this time it might be best to remove my e-mail from the ads in hope I will get some true offers on my items. There are so many scammers out there looking to feed on people who work a real job. Maybe something warning us BPers of this problem when placing ads in the classifieds. Just a heads up on a growing problem.

I am a tourist, but not from New Jersey. Am I correct that the restaurant now called Parrotdise was once called The Sandbar? I remember a very nice man at The Sandbar with a pontoon boat who would take us tourists out on the water to watch the sunset. Very nice experience as I recall. In spite of all the grumbling I still think Big Pine Key is a wonderful place.

[New Jersey called the armpit of this country] You better stick your nose under your own armpit before you call New Jersey an armpit.  Have you ever been to New Jersey beaches? (Not rotting whale carcass water) Seen the mansions? (Not trailer haven) Have you ever spent time in a cab talking to the driver? Have you been to their family gathering's that out-way anything that has ever been done in Big Pine? (Drink fiestas) Family unity, cleanliness and decency come from New Jersey.  Go back to the bars and have another shot.

[Keys Multiple listing service (MLS)] Try this one:   http://www.flkeysrealty.com/

I read that the most common name in the world is Mohammed.

[Vacation rentals of private homes] Isn't this considered a business? How do I set this up tax wise? If I can make a living this way I'll buy up everything I can. I'll call my company "The Keys Rental and Party Capital of the World." Now how do I get rid of the locals? Suggestions, please!

It is called a shotgun house because you can fire a shotgun thru the front door and the pellets will go out the back door. Even in New Orleans it is not about killing people.

I have noticed an amazing resemblance between Joe Lieberman and the guy on ALF--only Lieberman whines more.

[A shotgun house] A slum house that you rented to low renters, and need a shotgun to evict them.   

"Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking." --Bill Vaughan

[People with issues] Cory Neddermeyer, 42, was turned down for unemployment benefits in Iowa, after a judge ruled that he was fired for cause. His employer, the Amaizing Energy ethanol plant, suffered a massive spill that created a pond of fuel alcohol, and Neddermeyer (a recovering alcoholic), after resisting as long as he could, gave in and started drinking from the pool (causing him to pass out and later register an 0.72 blood-alcohol reading).

The Trust for Public Land (TPL) is a national nonprofit  (BS) land conservation organization that conserves land for people to enjoy as parks, gardens, and natural areas, ensuring livable communities for generations to come. Since its founding in 1972, TPL has helped protect more than 2 million acres of land in 45 states. Working in Florida since 1975, TPL has protected more than 300 sites - over 200,000 acres at a market value of more than $500 million. The Trust for Public Land depends on the support and generosity of individuals, foundations, and businesses to achieve our land for people mission. www.tpl.org/florida.

Bust-Up gum has become extremely popular in Japan. A chewing gum which contains extracts from the Pueraria mirifica (Kwao Krua) plant, makes a woman's breasts grow as well as improving their shape and tone, says B2UP, the makers of its Bust-Up gum. The company also claims the gum fights ageing, reduces stress and helps your circulation. They say the extracts keep your muscles in good order. Pueraria mirifica is indigenous to Thailand and Burma and has been used for hundreds of years for its medicinal purposes. The plant contains phytoestrogens, a chemical which acts in a similar way to oestrogen.
 

I was talking only about Dr Troxel not taking new patients. Nothing was mentioned about his family or his skill or the view from his office. Please re-read the post and try to understand what all the little words mean before you jump to defend something that was not even mentioned. The point was that he doesn’t do dentistry for just any new patients. His gal has to thoroughly screen you; and if you pass the third degree than you just might be allowed to enter.

NetZero is only $9.95 a month for slow dial up internet service (ISP). That has to be the cheapest ISP there is. The best part of it is that, in a brilliant move, declining AOL is letting its few remaining dial up customers switch any of it’s email addresses to NetZero. So from now on you can only pay ten bucks for ISP instead of AOL’s twehty-three, or so, and keep your same email address. NetZero will be you Internet Service Provider and AOL will be your email client. It doesn’t get any better than this.

[In the old days soldiers believed killing others to take their possessions was glorious] It was only glorious to make points with their leaders, like in brown nosing the boss. Remember, a soldier is only another person, brainwashed into believing he/she is meant to do the bidding of his master. See: Piracy, Village Governments, American Tribes, The Key West Junta, etc...

The Salvation Army isn't here to help anyone but them selves. Most of the stuff they get (for free) goes out the back door with the employees that work there. That's why they have to make the prices so high to cover what they take home. Maybe if the prices weren’t so high they wouldn't have to have 50% off sales just to get rid of all the stuff that is left there that they haven't taken home.

If Outlook Express wants to condense your files, and I say yes, where do they go?  Help me out Lousy Tech Support, because I am missing some of my favorite e-mails that I had stored and compacted.

(Lousy Tech Support: Condensing doesn’t remove a file it only makes it smaller. Check your archives folder. Stuff is stored in lines on your hard drive, millions of lines. When you delete something lines stay there even though there is nothing on them and they occupy space. When you condense files it removes the empty lines left on your hard drive when you deleted an email in effect making the number of total line a lot less. Oh, oh, I got it wrong. I am talking about “Compacting” files which is a feature Outlook (full version) offers. I don’t know about Outlook Express condensing files, but I’ve already written all this crap, so I’ll leave it. That’s another reason not to trust Lousy Tech Support!)

Wednesday  August 16, 2006

Tuesday August 15, 2006

I was in Jersey and was leery of asking directions so when I finally got up the nerve to ask I said, “Excuse me do you know what exit to take to Newark, or should I just go F**k myself?”

[If Israel were wiped out the Muslims would stop their war] Read the Quran and you will see that they will not stop warring until all peoples of the world are converted to Islam. (Your anti-Semitism is slithering out.)

Kotex Classic Video

[Jersey women trying to sneak back into the Keys photo] You should give a warning about viewing something like that! Some of us read this while eating lunch...lost mine today.

[Keeping election funds after an election is over is illegal.] This is not true. If the person running for office matches his input to the campaign, with donations, that person can keep the total input minus expenses. Of course, the expenses always are more than the input.

Does anyone know when the new store called Lost Trader Cargo Company is opening? I saw the sign in the old Classic Carpet window. It looks like they are fixing up the building, and putting in some neat stores.

The only difference between doctors and lawyers is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too." --Anton Chekhov

[over-weight, fifteen year old daughter sexually active] You people crack me up. In most places, puberty is the legal age, and they get knocked up instantly for the work force.

Can FIRM fight the TPL(?) before the TPL,   http://www.tpl.org/florida,  gobbles up my house on the ocean side of Sugarloaf?  The old State Road is full of high end homes. This blood sucking TPL wants to build parks and recreation spots along the shore and ruin our privacy. When you work all your life to get a nice place, and these types of non-profit bastards take it away from you, it's time for action. I think I'll call the Ball Busters.

The Video store on Summerland doesn't have a web site so we can look to see what movies are around. Here's a good site for all the movies ever made. Write down the info and then maybe the store can get it for you.  www.imdb.com

Crane Blvd light is only suppose to be active during school hours.

A shotgun house is nothing more than a trailer without wheels.

The NJ fat chick photo of her in the car made me sick. How the hell could any man get that horney? Let's legalize prostitution and cull these mutants.

Just when you thought it was safe to buy gas. Loose Wheel Video

[Venture Out Pancake Breakfast What are you going to say on the megaphone to them?] Nothing, but my bugle sure as hell will!

Get ready Square Grouper because here we come!  I can hardly wait!  I’ve been dying of food cravings that only your restaurant can cure.  Hope you had a nice vacation.

I started using Dr Troxel way back.  At that time I was freshly out of braces just needing someone to oversee my care and a hygienist of course. (I miss you, Lynn.) During all these years he has handled emergencies, written prescriptions on a Sunday, let me make payments and most of all, I feel the office is safe and clean.  They have the most up to date technology, a great office and a staff that is wonderful. Where else can you get a cleaning and view hundreds of different trees and birds and weather, etc.  It is a great relief from the ordinary for cowards like me.  You pay for what you get.  Is he a little on the high side? Can you imagine the overhead in a dental practice?   My dental insurance pays the maximum and I usually end up with a co-pay.  If it is more it is because I/we needed above and beyond. Then we make the payments.  Fortunately this is not often as they send reminders and make phone calls--Preventive care.  Now that is a concept.  So as not to be regulated to the Long Winded Tome section I suggest anyone needing quality dental care and especially specialized care (restorative) do call and speak with his staff and I’d bet you will be impressed.  This is one of Big Pine’s Finer.  We are lucky to have Dr and Mrs. Troxel in our community. Enough said.

[Illegal lobster condo] I don’t understand why it is such a big deal to have a small habitat out in the back country to catch a few lobster when it is such a challenge to drive my boat out front or in the back country and not hit a trap bouy. It seams they are about every fifteen feet apart. Is my one unmarked little habitat so bad? Who is really having an impact on the behaviors of  lobster?

[Universal primary]  Democrats can vote in the Republican primary, visa versa; and independents, if they can make up their mind, can vote as well.

If you are not from New Jersey you may be from a state that has lost its only war; or where it is not uncommon  for the husband’s surname and the wife’s maiden name to be the same; or where corncobs are used for toilet paper; or have never eaten naturally sweet corn (It’s supposed to be white. When it turns yellow the sugar has turned to starch so the corn tastes like a potato). Or where the residents are so directionally challenged that they had to put North or South in front of the states name so their folks don't get lost; or where the tomatoes are perfectly round, red, and tasteless; or whose idea of conversational originality is, " Oh, your from New Joisey ".

Who is the person who wrote that Troxel needs money and of his office being rude must be the most jealous person living.  Troxel is by far the best dentist there is and the most wonderful person.  His work is known immediately by other dentists and admired to the max.  He rocks and always will.  I'll bet you don't live in a beautiful home like he does and you don't have a great loving family or have the best hygienists and office workers like he does.

Alligator hunting season started today in Florida. I celebrated by killing another pesky iguana.

[The Salvation Army] Two years ago when my aging father was coming to visit, people gave me all kinds of advise as to where to find a toilet seat, that has rails (you have seen them in most Nursing homes) and a shower seat.  The Salvation Army wanted an arm and a leg (Not to mention it wasn't sterile by any means) for it. However, a friend turned me on to the Methodist Church, which goes with the Senior Center, and I got both for free!  I still made a donation with items returned sterile, and commend Dallas for his good deeds!

Senator Lieberman could loose just because he looks so stupid.

[Regarding FIRM] Too little, too late. But a valiant effort and thanks.

[Dr Troxel] Those ads are not new.  You just didn’t get it.

I enjoyed a few insights and the profundity of Deer Abby’s comment especially the “we need to take care in our interactions with our neighbors--not just for a few months, but for as long as it takes”.  There is a lesson here folks.  This advice should be heeded in almost all the situations that we continue to bring up as daily up setters. Winn Dixie, vacation rentals, bad neighbors.  Restaurants, the paint scheme on restaurants.  Calling the Cops on anyone at anytime with BS complaints.  I believe the best quote in the history of man will have come from Rodney King.  “Can’t we just all get along?”

Live Your life and the rest will fall into place. 

To the basher of Dr Troxel and staff:  I am sorry you did not answer the questions and meet “Fred”.  This is a very educated medical professional and a genius in many other areas as well.  I hope you are happy at Summerland Dental as that Doctor/Patient relationship got off to a very bad start, probably irreparable.  I’m sure it is for the best.

(It took me forever to get my spell-check installed and working and now I try to best it. It does not approve of fragments. I say I’ll take what I can get.) But…O.J. was not a murder but the murderer.  I think that trial opened the eyes of this nation to the absurdity of our “Justice System”.  We’re doomed. 

[Affordable housing] Just rent a commercial space, pretend to open a consignment store and live cheap and furnished (with consignment items of course!)

A Universal Primary is happening here in Monroe County.  This primary, A Universal Primary is where both candidates are of the same party and therefore every voter in Monroe County may vote, no matter what their political affiliation.  District 5 is a good example. Two Republicans are running for the same seat of County Commissioner and, did you know,  all voters, no matter what district you live in, can vote for that seat?  I hope everyone gives consideration to the first one listed on the ballot.  Your votes are important and if you do not take the time to vote--we do get what we deserve. We have to vote to get better county government to watch over our safety and welfare and to protect the Keys. It boils down to: What do you consider to be important?

O.K. I admit it. There are 7 nice people from New Jersey. The rest are loud, selfish, poor mannered people who think nothing is wrong with screwing everybody they come in contact with, including their family. Why else would New Jersey be called the armpit of this country?  I am not any of the many other people who have said the same things about New Jerseyites. There must be something there if the rest of this country feels that way about New Jersey. So if you are from New Jersey, take an open-minded look at your neighbors and contemplate the fact that most people in this country don't pass somebody broken down in the street (in their car) and curse them out for being in the way. My grandson is from New Jersey. He's one of the nice ones. He's 10 years old and very well behaved. He asked me why people here wave at each other even if they don't know each other? He's surprised to see how friendly people can be. He says back home, they just yell and curse at each other and give each other the finger.

Go ahead, defend the rest of New Jersey but the rest of the good old USA knows the difference.

[Persides meteor shower] We also saw the monster at around midnight from our roof deck.  We saw a few other tiny ones, but that one was worth sitting up late and stargazing.

[Lieberman lost by 4%]  The only reason Lieberman lost to an unknown was his support of the Bush debacle in Iraq.  Just wait and see what is going to happen to republican supporters this fall.  Don't forget that Lieberman is Jewish so why wouldn't he support a war against Muslims?  As for his winning his election due to the latest terror event, if there are enough idiots like you out there who keep trying to connect the sectarian civil war in Iraq to terrorists, he just might.

My car was Wilma’d.  That was October.  I had renewed my car tags prior to Wilma in Sept.  I then moved the flooded tag to new car.   So this year I get the obligatory bill to renew my tags/registration. I sent in the check and promptly received a new plate.  This new plate is, well, new.  I had memorized the prior number and have no time to memorize the new one.  I did notice the last two letters on the new tag are FY.  Well I send a hardy FY to the tax collectors.  I want my old tag back.  What a waste. 

[You must be Jewish]  Well, actually, no, though some of my best friends are.  Two things: Please notice I never said it was foolish to say the Lebanon war was Jews vs. Muslims; I said it was foolish to say (like the post I was replying to did) that there was an Israeli conspiracy to rule the entire world.  I'll stand by that.
 

Second, which war?  Lebanon, yes.  I seem to remember that elsewhere, it's the Muslims vs. a number of others (U.S., Britain, Spain, Muslim reformers in their own countries, and on and on and on) and the Jews seem to have little or nothing to do with those.

The hardest part of being a seeing eye dog.

Lieberman would have lost regardless what day the election was held. People didn’t like his support of the war and they still won’t like it in his misdirected independent bid to get re-elected.

Isn’t it ironic that the first provable incidents of medically introduced HIV were from a dentist?  When I have someone poking around in my mouth with a sharp and pointy instrument I tend to want those tools sterile.  Buyer beware.

Know what drives me nuts? When I open a computer program that I’ve been using for a long time and it has a different appearance and things open differently.

The Keys MLS(?) website supposedly has a new location. Does anyone know?

Tuesday August 15, 2006

Monday August 14, 2006

[I love New Jersey] As a long time Keys resident, but New Jersey native, I have to write about the Jersey bashing. Not all people from New York or New Jersey are rude or fat. Most of the people I know are friendly, highly educated attractive people. It makes me wonder where the author is meeting these people. Perhaps the author should go to the Library, attend church, go hear the Symphony or take a college course. New Jersey, just like Florida, is filled with great people and some not so great people. Not everyone is perfect-are you? I doubt it.

A shotgun house is where you can stand at the front door and see (or fire a shotgun) straight through to the back door. All the rooms are off to one side of a hallway. They are very small houses. All Keys shotgun houses have a hallway unlike in other places that don’t have hallways.

I lived next to a vacation rental for many years and found that the only real problem (other than parking) was on the first night they were there. They were, without exception, always drunk and loud on that first night and the rest of the time they were usually all right as far as noise goes. Realtors should emphasize to the tourist to be aware of their noise level especially on that first night.

[FIRM] I did get off my butt to find out what FIRM has done. I went to the trouble to return to this website and ask in a civil manner. I don’t even care enough about the issue to go wadding through a whole website and try to glean what they have done. If no one can put it simply for me forget I even brought it up. I’ll go back and sit on my butt.

It’s been long known that Dentist Troxel doesn’t take new patients. Now he’s advertising in the paper that he does indeed take new patients.

My dentist died and I hadn’t been to a dentist for a couple of years so I called his office to make an appointment. The receptionist gave me what could only be described as the third degree. From her questions and excuses why I couldn’t come in for an exam I could see that the office was only interested in big bucks not my dental health. At one point I even asked her if she know me and was making a joke to get me to laugh? I kept asking why all the questions and that I only needed a check up and if I had any problems I would let the Doctor fix it.. Anyway she refused to let me make an appointment. Dr. Troxel must be hurting financially and is trying to get more business. He certainly won’t get mine. I brought my teeth to Summerland Dental and am treated like a valued mouth full of teeth. My spouse even switched dentist to be treated at Summerland Dental. They are all wonderful there.

[Trailer trash in the making] We don't let our kids play with the ones who are far more mature. Gosh, fifteen / sixteen is way too young to be fooling around with members of both sexes. The parents are probably Keys diseased and so is their fat whore daughter. Keep your kids away from that thing!

There are new owners of the Video Store at W/D Plaza. They seem like nice people who are into movies. I like that they have recommendations about movies I might not have heard of. I’ve seen some very good movies lately that I would have not rented without that recommendation. Good luck guys. Keep it up.

[What to do with used motor oil? Napa does not want take it] Napa could have told you to drop the oil off for free at the Cudjoe Transfer Station on 1st and 3rd Wednesdays (Long Key 1st and 3rd Fridays). You will find this info about solid waste, and more, at http://www.monroecounty-fl.gov/Pages/MonroeCoFL_Waste/faq

It would be nice if the PR about Monroe County trash disposal was better, and also if the recycling process was better managed. But that is another project....one to get with Comm. Neugent about. After all, Waste Mgmt. is being paid to do our bidding, aren't they?

I just watched the Time to Move video which has a link to it on the right hand side of your gossip column. Thanks for the laugh! I have sent a link to all my friends as I love to share a really good laugh.

The terrorists are getting to us now; their actions have prompted the TSA (motto: don't profile, pilfer) to ban make-up from being carried on airplanes. Things are going to get real ugly. On the lighter side, the TSA women may start looking better since they now have access to an unlimited supply of make-up.

The Salvation Army stores are here to help those that need it first! The Keys’ captain has forgotten that when a dining set is sitting in their KW store for $2995 (not kidding).  After Wilma I saw a girl begging them to lower a couch from $450 To a reasonable $200 so she and her kids could quit sitting on the floor. The large guy working then said somebody would buy it for a rental property at $450. They would not lower the price. Screw Sally’s;  I quit donating after that.

Warning/Alert: The Dept. of Homeland Security and the Florida Dept. of Transportation has issued a Red alert status after one of the US 1 pole cameras got an image of the Jersey women trying to sneak back into the Keys.  Citizens are asked to keep a sharp lookout for anyone resembling the person in the photo or anyone causing a disturbance in a local restaurant loudly complaining about the price of the meat loaf special.  Persons near thrift stores and flea markets should be especially cautious.  Direct contact should be avoided due to the extreme hazards involved with a physical encounter.  Sightings should be reported to authorities or local pest control.

[Bomb plot foiled in part by phone taps] Phone taps are ok if they are approved by the judiciary, which they will do if asked. The Judicial branch should know what the Executive branch does. That’s the only way we can keep our freedoms.

[Can anyone tell me why a shotgun house is called that?]  The Shotgun house is a narrow one-story dwelling without halls. Each room is placed behind the other in single file. The roof ridge is perpendicular to the street. The traditional description of why these houses are called "shotgun" is that if one fired a shotgun through the front door, the shot would pass through the lined-up doors of each room and out the back door.

[Do black Americans yet realize that OJ Simpson is a murder]  You’ve got to be kidding.  There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that O.J. carved up his ex-wife and her boyfriend.  The simple fact is that O.J. was black and a celebrity and the two people he killed were white.  The judge was a buffoon, the jury was mostly black and the race card was once again played to stir up anti-white emotion.  Imagine the protests, riots, looting and burnings that would have taken place if some white celebrity athlete took a knife and slashed two black people to death and then was let go free by a white jury.  The trial was a gigantic farce and a huge mis-carriage of justice.  It is satisfying to know though that O.J. continues to “seek out the real killer” on every golf course in the state.

I would like to know if someone can give me a real time answer to why we are being asked to pay the new windstorm rates when, supposedly, they have been frozen to the 2005 level? This information doesn't seem to be available to the local insurance companies as they kind of mumble and trail off onto an unrelated topic as soon as possible. These guys are taking lessons from the oil companies on how to take us to the cleaners. Maybe I will open a dry cleaning shop on Big Pine and clean out those back slapping lawmakers and politicians who sit on their hands and do nothing while the common folk fund their retirement. Maybe this doesn't make a lot of sense but something has to be done soon or the Keys will belong to the fore-mentioned.

[Venture Out pancake announcer]  Why let Venture Out and the megaphone jerk force you to sell your lot and others to be annoyed on a Sunday morning?  A better solution would be to nicely approach the pancake announcer man, grab his megaphone and smash it across his head following this up with a severe beating.  The problem would be solved, no one would take the job again for fear of their own beating and peace and tranquility would once again return to your sleepy little community.  Not getting caught is a must for this to work to your advantage.

Per-see-ids.

Why don't you just use a little common sense before calling the cops? They may be on an important call when you call to say your neighbors dog is barking.

Keeping even one penny of election funds after an election is over is highly illegal.

[over-weight, fifteen year old daughter to be sexually active] Perhaps not a whore, but most certainly a slut and probably a crack head as well.  At least she’s using birth control instead of squirting out another batch of losers.  And no, I would not want any child of mine associating with her in any way.  Sounds like another wasted life headed nowhere but down the sewer of life.

The fund raiser at Coconuts was great.  The deviled eggs were wonderful and the beer was icy cold.  I dropped a couple of bucks for the chow and vaguely remember about something firm but that could have just been my reaction to the blond at the bar.

[Venture Out Pancake Breakfast] What are you going to say on the megaphone to them? This sounds fun.

The shotgun house is a narrow rectangular domestic residence, usually no more than 12 feet wide, with doors at each end. It was the most popular style of house in the Southern United States from the end of the Civil War, through to the 1920s. Alternate names include shotgun shack, shotgun hut, shotgun cottage, and railroad apartments. The style was developed in New Orleans, but the houses can be found as far away as Chicago, California or Key West, Florida. Shotgun houses are still the most prevalent housing style in many southern cities and towns. Though initially as popular with the middle class as with the poor, the shotgun house became a symbol of poverty in the mid-20th century. Opinion is now mixed: some houses are bulldozed due to urban renewal, while others are beneficiaries of historic preservation and gentrification.

Monroe County should repair and improve all existing boat ramps. Then add 10 more boat ramps throughout the chain of islands.

Who knows what a universal primary is?

[Sheik Nasrallah the head of Hezbollah has kind eyes. I hope I’m not becoming a terrorist.] You are not becoming a terrorist, you are just realizing even the bad guys are human too.  The Pope is too smart to mess with 1.5 billion Muslims! If the Muslims wipe out Israel completely, I bet the war stops instantly.  Any takers?

I wonder what Deer Abby has to say today.

[Perseids meteor shower] I saw it on Friday night. It was around midnight and I was driving east on the Overseas Highway, somewhere around the Cow Palace / Minature Golf Course. A huge meteor flashed overhead and broke up before hitting land. It was so cool to watch it flame out directly over the highway. I'm not kidding. This is true. It was spectacular. Did anyone else see it?

Visiting New Orleans I was told it was the size and also the layout that determined a shotgun house.  All the rooms were laid out in a straight line so a shotgun could be fired through the front door and pass clear through the back door without hitting anything at all.  Obviously the person who explained it to me had a different outlook on life than your cracker pal! Laissez Le Bon Temps Roule!

Stop computer cookies with ksoft - G-Zapper Blocks the Google Cookie to Search Anonymously

I was heading home to Little Torch from work (KW) on Thursday. I was going to pick my son and his two friends for football practice. As I went through the Crane Blvd light I saw the semi trailer jack-knife in my rear view mirror. I saw clouds of smoke rolling into the air. I pulled into the sheriff’s station and reported the accident and watched speeding police cars heading south the rest of the way home.

I considered myself lucky to be just ahead of the accident. I was running late and going a little faster (55 mph) than usual. Needless to say, we did not attempt to go to football practice (Sugarloaf School).

Friday morning I took my son to work because it was "Meet the Teacher Day". We were stopped at the Crane Blvd light when I noticed a pickup truck fast approaching in my rear view mirror. He had no intentions of stopping. I accelerated and moved into the north bound lane. The driver slammed on his brakes, just missing me, slid onto the shoulder almost going into the mangroves. He slid for another 100 feet (five or six car lengths) or so.

That was twice in two days at the same location. It is the only stop light from Big Pine to Stock Island. There is not enough of a warning before the light; especially for those not familiar with the road. The little flashing yellow light does cut it. This light will cause more accidents than it prevents. I am not sure how much good karma I have left.

[Ethanol and the rising price of Corn Flakes] It is my understanding that when ethanol is made the by-product is still edible and therefore there is no loss of food for anyone.  Correct me if I'm wrong, (is that even necessary to say on BPK.com?) but I believe that to be the case and that's another good reason to convert to ethanol. I would much rather be reliant on the American farmer in the Midwest than the sheet-heads in the Mideast.

The pilot song. Having worked the ramp many years, I can relate.  YouTube - The Pilot Song

[Castro is having a sex change operation, and hopes to be performing in Key West soon.] That explains a lot of things, like his attraction to that kid, Elian Gonzalez.

(Dear BPK.com, this is just a note to Caitlin, who used to work at Now Showing video on Big Pine) Hi, Caitlin. Sending you congratulations and best wishes for an exciting and fulfilling college experience at FSU. We miss you already at the video store. Your sense of humor and interest in film was a delight to your customers. Here's hoping you will find an intriguing array of films available to you through school - heaven knows that's difficult at small commercial outlets. I’ve got to admit, however, Pete and Toni did far better than many others (and we hope the new owners are able to do at least as well as P & T did). Please stay in touch with us down here.

Monday August 14, 2006

Sunday August 13, 2006

Would you want your over-weight, fifteen year old daughter to be sexually active, on birth control, living in her boyfriend’s trailer and claiming herself to be a bi-sexual?  Would you call this type of girl a whore and would you want your teenagers playing with such an individual?  If I were her parents, she would be under strict supervision, forced to attend a house of religion and exercise on a daily basis.  At least she won't get knocked-up and become another welfare recipient and realize her self-esteem is being boosted by promiscuity.  I am very curious what other parents think of this and perhaps I am making too harsh a judgment about teenage sexuality and obesity.

After some years have already past I wonder if black Americans yet realize that OJ Simpson is a murder and that they were wrong to allow the trial to become a trial where race was the main issue and evidence secondary?

To the person who thinks it's wrong to call the cops if a bunch of obnoxious renters are making your life miserable and keeping you up all night. What else can you do? I think the cops would rather be called rather then having people taking the law into their on hands. That is where trouble can really start.  I say call the cops.  I also think the real estate companies that rent these homes should take some responsibility as well. They get big commissions for those rentals and they should be keeping an eye on them. It's so simple to make a set of rules one of them being to respect the neighbors next door. 

[Budweiser is about $18 a gallon] Also it's a renewable resource!  I'd suggest inventing an engine that would use it, but they'd never keep up with the demand then and the price would really skyrocket.

The correct site for FIRM is http://www.FIRMkeys.org   I hope you can fine the info you are requesting on this site. If not stop by the fund raiser at Coconuts and ask some questions. You don’t have to spend a dime, just some time, listen to some music, meet some new folks and enjoy yourself. I must say that the thought has come to mind that you may want higher insurance rates, you may not have a note on your house, you may not be renting or you may want a bunch of folks to leave the keys. I am a sick person to think that way. I don’t know what came over me. See you the fund raiser.

Sheik Nasrallah the head of Hezbollah has kind eyes. I saw him on the tube being interviewed. I had expected a monster, but he looked like a nice guy. I hope I’m not becoming a terrorist.

I agree with the Israel comment and the person with the Rhode Island comment---you are truly the fool!  Another one of the government’s puppets.

In the old days soldiers fought for glory. They believed killing others just to take their possessions was glorious.

You are not supposed to talk about the Rhode Island conspiracy.  We have already taken over the world but we don't tell anyone so keep your mouth shut.  It is easier to rule the world when people don't realize we do. Our motto is Hope!

[FIRM] I gave you a web site, I was hoping that you would do a little reading on your own, but no, no, no, just more of the same. Get off your butt and find out for yourself what F.I.R.M. has done. You sound like the kind of person that would like to keep asking for more info and them not want to believe any of it. Anyhow, I hope I will see you at the fundraiser or the next F.I.R.M. meeting.

Can anyone tell me how to pronounce "Perseids"?  It's not in my dictionary. 

Can anyone tell me why a shotgun house is called that?  There's got to be a story behind it.  A cracker I know told me it's because the houses were so small that anyone could fire a shotgun at the front door and kill everyone in the house.  I was wondering if anybody else knows different.

[Call the cops]  It seems to me the guy who calls the cops is a sane, law-abiding citizen. Everything you mentioned yesterday is breaking a law. Are you a redneck or just stupid?

Senator Lieberman lost handsomely in his re-election bit for the Senate, but says he’ll run as an independent; although, in reality he has no chance of winning. I do think he knows that. I also think that he continues to run for the massive contributions he’ll receive.

Several years ago I was helping in an election campaign in Key West for the reelection of a politician with no serious challenger to oppose him. My candidate raised over twenty-seven thousand dollars and only spent seven of it on his campaign. He kept the rest for himself. I thought that was wrong then and I think it is wrong now for Lieberman to be doing the same thing just to enrich himself.

Don’t forget to clear your browsers cache! Lousy Tech Support

[That's like Rhode Island's conspiracy to take over the U.S. Fool!]  You must be Jewish, right?  Anyone with any brains knows what's going down with this religious war. It's the Muslims against the Jews, with the Christians mixing it up. If you cannot see this, you're the fool!

[That stupid megaphone screaming "pancake breakfast" is right around the corner.] I live by Venture Out too, and have it all planed out for that loud mouthed SOB. I bought a bigger megaphone!  Now we'll see how they like reveille at 5 AM.

Gas is over $6.25 per gallon in most of Europe. Wine is cheap in France. Water is free.

[Venture Out pancake announcer] If they do that again this winter, I'm selling our lot there.

[9/11 Celebration or parade]  Your remarks warrant no other response than: moron.

[Maxi-lobster season] Where the hell did all these people come from this weekend? What a pain in the ass!

I'm sorry for rekindling the whole "call the cops/don't call the cops" argument.  After that Monday night when my vacationing neighbors were so loud, they did the same thing on Tuesday night.  But on Tuesday, at about midnight, I got out of bed and walked over to their house. The confrontation went well and they were quiet for the rest of the week.  When they went home this morning, they left a bottle of Captain Morgan and an apology letter at my door.  Sure they were rude with the partying, but I'm glad I didn't call the cops.  I still hate having a vacation rental next door, and I do plan on having a heart-to-heart with the owner, but let's face it.  Minor issues are sometimes handled better yourself rather getting the law involved.   

I will never eat Mexican, Tex-Mex, East Indian, or Chinese foods again. You are what you eat.

If pets could talk like humans, there wouldn't be any!

A couple of thoughts about ethanol. People in developing countries would start starving more since our corn exports would be cut back.  Cereal manufacturers here are already raising prices since they are beginning to have trouble getting the main ingredient.  And then there was the sage guy who questioned the wisdom of replacing $3.00 per gallon gasoline with $4.00 per gallon ethanol.

For those who simply must litter. Oceangram. The online message in a bottle website.

[Budweiser costs per gallon] A not so good analogy between the price of beer and gasoline. If you had to use Bud to fuel your car you would be screaming louder than a NJ woman in heat about the price.

[Salvation Army] Did you see them after Wilma? Hell No. The Red Cross brought water to us that was much needed.

To the bearded clam and pink taco people this is really old, old crap. You people suck. You think that is funny?  You want to see my meat puppet?  How about a meatsickle?  Ha, ha, you like that too?

Sunday august 13, 2006

Saturday August 12, 2006

Congratulations go out to Mr and Mrs Joel and Kevin Lowery of Big Pine Key.  The Summerland Key Salvation Army gal has finally bagged herself the catch of the Keys!  We love you guys.  Wishing you many happy years together.

I noticed you have a subject line about Key Deer, followed by recipes.  Really now, for small deer, you probably should just make jerky out of them.  As to fat women in NJ, we banned them and sent them all down to the Carolina's and points South.  Jersey people don't suck, just our ex-Governor, McGreevey and I'm pretty sure Corazine sucks too!

Why did you include my email on what I wrote? (Venture Out guard) Please, next time, don't do that. (Ed: You said bad things about the guard and used his name and wanted to get him fired.)

Israel [will never be satisfied until they rule the whole planet.] Yeah, right. That's kind of like Rhode Island's conspiracy to take over the entire U.S. Fool!

I asked what FIRM has done and all I received was abuse and gobbledygook. Doesn’t anyone know what they‘ve done besides have a candidate forum?

Existing-home sales are expected to stabilize. Home sales are projected to ease modestly but should stay within a relatively narrow range during the balance of the year. The major housing indicators have been moving up and down within a reasonable range, which means the market should even-out just below present levels. At the same time, housing inventory levels are balanced in much of the country, so overall price appreciation will be at a normal rate. We should see home sales rise and fall month to month, but don’t look for any big shifts one way or the other.

The five year anniversary of 9/11 is approaching. Are we going to celebrate; have a parade?

Let me make sure I understand this correctly; I'm a little slow having spent some time in NJ and all. Our choices on the September 5th election are George or Sloan? Unbelievable!

This chart shows how the Perseids might appear to a person looking northeast at 11PM local time in mid-August. The meteors will appear to radiate from the constellation Perseus, from which they get their name.

I just found out Commissioner Neugent is a Republican. Well, then, that makes him the first Republican I’ve ever supported. His only opposition is God's candidate; which goes to show you that almost everyone loves George (except the pro-development faction, of course). Go George!

Old age is hell, but implants last forever.

New Jersey/Florida/Cuba…so much for celebrating each other's differences and getting along.  What part of the world is it safe to say you are from?  And the guy that fell off the Jersey gal, I knew it.  Sorry she broke your heart and you are still bitter about it. Move on.  I'm sure you could meet a nice relative of those 5th generation Conchs.  That would be a real catch.

[mad cow disease] Yes, if it’s well cooked you'll just get a little irritated.

[Call the cops]   I once lived in a neighborhood that had an old fart who would call the cops for every imaginable thing.  Kids tossing a football in the street, too many cars on the street because of a kid’s birthday party, too much smoke or noise from a holiday backyard B-B-Q, a lawn mower is too loud, a family splashing in the pool and on and on and on. 

This joker who writes in to this site is just like the old fart.  Always ready to stick his nose in someone’s business.  People like that are always so self-righteous, have a holier-than-thou attitude and are basically a gigantic pain in the ass.  They also tend to have few friends, have a lily white, prudish attitude and have low self-esteem that they compensate for by being a sneaking snitch thereby making them feel more important.  What a sorry excuse for a life.  

Fidel Castro reaches Key West Florida and instantly changes his appearance to better blend in with the local color and life styles.

[In what section of the sky will we see the Perseids meteor shower] If you clicked on the link, you would know.  It's really not that hard.  Perseid shower  

The Starvation Army stores are there as a business, just like any other business, except they pay no tax support to our country. I was in it 20 years ago, but quit because it's another con job just like most charities.

[This week's Bush catch phrase is Islamic fascist] He is always ahead of the curve, Thank God for President Bush

Just one human family…except if you’re from New Jersey.

[Kudos to the Mosquito Control] It's not the MC, it's the after effects of the hurricanes, with all the salt they put on everything. How many other bugs and birds you see around, not to mention dead foliage!? 

Sometimes the name says it all.

Hey Ed, where's the August archive?  I missed a few days earlier this week, tried to find it today to catch up, and it’s not there?  Maybe even Ed gets a vacation? (Ed: Oops! I forgot to link the page. I have it linked now. Thanks for letting us know.)

I heard four new songs by the Who (at least those that are still living) and thought they all stunk. Roger Daltry’s voice is shot. He’s straining so much on one tune that it made me nervous. Two of the songs were just rehashing of old Who songs. And one sounded like a tired Bob Dylan trying to sing. I think I’ll skip the album.

[In what section of the sky will we see the Perseids meteor shower] Look up, you idiot! God I hope you can't vote!

New Jersey?  If they were to give the United States an enema, New Jersey is where they would stick it.

[Late bloomer] The Spy Poles are alive and well, reporting our every move to Big Brother. We just don't take about them in public. It might affect the tourist season profits.

Reporter, "What do I think of Western civilization?” Reply, “I think it would be a very good idea." --Mahatma Ghandi

The lengthy description of the New Jersey women was priceless and right on the money. The sad thing is that, due to our limited female population, there always will be lonely Keys guys that will pick them up at the Cow Palace and therefore encourage their seasonal migration southward to be "serviced."  No one elsewhere (except men in prison) would come near them.

Epitaph for a dead waiter: God finally caught his eye.

[Border Patrol Agents have been found guilty] This country will die of bleeding hearts who kiss the asses of the illegal aliens for profit. Next time shoot to kill the invading vermin, it's cheaper!

[whale island] Rumor has it that a local BPK restaurant will very soon be offering a “Whale Fiesta Dinner” featuring fried blubber in a delicate blow hole sauce served atop a sea grass salad. 

The Pink Taco restaurant in Hard Rock Casino/Hotel in Las Vegas does have a nice look to it but for a real all-you-can-eat experience try the Bearded Clam.

[I just didn’t think that they (raccoons) eat dead stuff ]  Sure they do. They are always going into my trash and they sit around chewing on my rib bones.  Hmmm...maybe they like their lizard with barbecue sauce?

I wonder if Cops do the same trick with donut bags as we did in the movies with the popcorn bucket?

[Is mad cow disease totally killed by cooking the beef]  Eat all the beef you want.  As usual, the animal rights and the eat-no-meat wacko activists fanned the ‘Mad Cow’ issue vastly out of proportion to further their own agendas.  Only 170 persons worldwide have died as a result of contracting Mad Cow disease and none of them in the United States.  The Prions that cause the disease (bovine spongiform encephalitis) are not killed by cooking, but the chances of contracting the illness is estimated to be 1 in 10 billion  There are more grave illnesses caused each year by eating contaminated fruit and vegetables than meat from any source.  I enjoyed steak tartar (raw ground tenderloin) last weekend at a Key West restaurant and never thought of an angry cow much less a mad one.  The disease you are asking about is transmitted via nervous system tissue and possibly bone marrow.  If you still have concerns eat only meat that is not ground or boneless roasts and steaks without a bone.  Medium rare, please!

Thanks for asking about my dog. He is fine now. I just didn’t think Venture Out could piss me off in the summer as much as it does in the winter. That stupid megaphone screaming out "pancake breakfast" is right around the corner.

It’s interesting that gasoline is about $3.30 per gallon and people are screaming about how their getting screwed by the government and the big oil companies.  However the price of Budweiser is about $18 a gallon.  No one has to drill for it, it’s cheaper to produce, it doesn’t have to be shipped half way around the world, it’s in abundant supply and nobody’s whining and complaining.  Interesting priorities.

All you NJ lady bashers please chill out. Ugly fat chicks need love too.

Saturday August 12, 2006

Friday August 11, 2006

The Key West Chamber of Commerce requests your help! As most of you have probably heard, the Transportation Services Administration (TSA) recently decided to deny supplying security personnel for the Marathon Airport which has been preparing to re-start commercial airline service.  This has occurred despite more than $1.5 million in grants from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) and a lot of hard work and fund raising from people throughout the Keys.  The Key West Chamber of Commerce is sending letters to all of the government officials that were listed in yesterday’s edition of The Citizen and we encourage you to do the same. 

The Marathon Chamber of Commerce has set up a simple and fast way for everyone to make their voice heard on this issue and to request support for the TSA to reverse its decision.  As this is important to the economy of all of the Florida Keys, we encourage you to send letters and to also visit their website at www.floridakeysmarathon.com  and then click on the red box to provide brief information that will make your position known.

"Be bold and the mighty forces will come to your aid." --Goethe

A Laundromat is a very good place to meet a woman.

[Tamarind tree] They should do an autopsy on the slab the guy saved to determine if it was really premeditated tree murder or just a drive-by herbicide.

Is mad cow disease totally killed by cooking the beef? I crave beef, but I'm still not reassured by our government's claim to protect us.

I don’t remember an August where I haven’t been killed by bugs. I never thought I’d say this, but kudos to the Mosquito Control people. whatever they're doing...it's working.

The Bush pilot finally speaks (in German) http://www.glumbert.com/media/bushpilot.html Just who is in control? a funny video if you're a Bush basher.

I thought that the Salvation Army stores were a place with low prices to help people who could not afford Mall prices. Most of the prices in the BPK store are higher than department stores! Come on now $1000 for a set of bunk beds? I asked about the prices and was told the rent and electric was high and they need to make a profit. The store is always packed full. If they would lower the prices they would sell more and make more money. It’s not like the stuff they have cost them anything!

When someone stole a truck full of doughnuts in Richland, Washington, police sprung into action. An all-points bulletin was issued moments after the theft of the Viera's Bakery van was reported early Friday. A sheriff's deputy quickly spotted the truck. After a chase at 30 to 35 mph, Richland police got it to stop and arrested the driver, Steve Swoboda, 19, for investigation of auto theft and felony escape. Still intact was the entire load of glazed, sugar and cream doughnuts, as well as some apple fritters. "In 24 years in law enforcement I've never had a call like that," Richland police Capt. Randy Barnes said. "To steal a bakery truck, how clever is that?" "It kind of sticks out," Kennewick police Sgt. Ken Lattin said.

[Whale island] Ew, ick, puew.

In what section of the sky will we see the Perseids meteor shower? The next time please let us know where to look whenever someone posts sky alerts for us to enjoy.

Will the writer that is constantly telling people to call the cops please stop?  For heaven's sake, mind your own business and leave your neighbors alone.  Stop calling the cops every 5 minutes.  The cops down here are out of control anyway and with such petty calls, so often, they only get more power.  Learn to get along with each other or ignore each other.  If you are so enthralled with the cops I feel sorry for you, but stop encouraging others to rat out their neighbors and strangers alike. I think you are like the "boy who cried wolf'".

[What has FIRM done to warrant my financial support] That must have been written by Citizens Insurance Company because FIRM is fighting the good fight. A shout out to FIRM!

Two U.S. Border Patrol Agents have been found guilty and face prison terms of upwards of 20 years for doing their jobs in apprehending an illegal alien at our border. Even more outrageous, this illegal alien is now suing the U.S. for $5 million for violating his civil rights!

Click here to read the full report and to sign our petition calling on President Bush to pardon these two officers:  GrassFire.org - Real Impact Online. < http://www.grassfire.org/142/petition.asp?RID=10496593    http://www.grassfire.org/142/petition.asp?RID=10496593

These agents were doing their job and our government is prosecuting them! Even worse -- the U.S. Department of Homeland Security actually tracked down the illegal alien and gave him immunity to testify against our agents! Sentencing for these two agents is scheduled for August 22.

It looks like they found the real Bambi and Thumper. Two of the world's most renowned shy and timid creatures have found each other in safe  companionship in Alberta Canada. Why can't we all just get along?

How does one contact F.I.R.M.? I can't seem to find them on Google and they do not have a web page called F.I.R.M. I can't make it to the Coconuts benefit, but I want to become a member.

"It's not true I had nothing on. I had the radio on." (Marilyn Monroe, asked if she really had nothing on in a calendar photograph)

The guy that said Castro was being cloned is way out in space. He’s really having a sex change operation, and hopes to be performing in Key West soon.

[New Jersey] There is nothing wrong with the people who live in New Jersey; it’s just when they leave and come to the Keys that I have a problem with their arrogance and inconsideration.

[Late bloomer] Does anybody have a clue on the newly installed big brother spy glass poles on US 1?

[terrorists must have been going to use a liquid explosive]  That's what they'd like for you to think, but we all know there really are no terrorists and this war on terror is just BS.  What this really is, is a conspiracy!  That's right, a conspiracy by the airline industry to prevent passengers from bringing their own beverages on board.  Now, they can charge whatever they want for refreshments and there's nothing you can do about it.  Oh, all you want is a glass of water?  Sure thing.  That will be $5.00 please.  You think gas is high, try ordering a cocktail.  Next thing you know, they'll put screeners at the movie theaters, just to be safe.  Yeah, terrorists my ass.

I believe the real reason Castro hasn't been seen lately is because he's bought the farm.  However, this in no why has impacted his ability to run Cuba.  And, as soon as they get the A/C working again, he will be receiving visitors and well wishers.

[New Jersey]  Why, there is nothing wrong with people from New Jersey. We all owe them a tremendous debt of gratitude for their place in the evolutionary cycle of man. Think of it. We now have opposing thumbs, the ability to use simple tools and walk upright.  Next time you see someone from Jersey, bend over and give them a little pat on the head as to say, "Thank you. Who's a good boy? Here's a biscuit."

Late Bloomer II [When is mini season over?]  Mini-season lasts for two days.  This year it was July 26-27 which means that it started on July 26 and was over on July 27th.  Please don’t reproduce or to be more effective, just remove yourself from the gene pool entirely.

Here’s a picture of a restaurant in the Hard Rock Casino/Hotel in Las Vegas. I wonder if the buffet is all you can eat.

[What has FIRM done to warrant my financial support] Hello!  Do you read a newspaper?  Please pay attention in class.  FIRM is the group of citizens who are challenging the outrageous and perhaps illegal raise in windstorm insurance rates in Monroe County.  Please attend the event and educate yourself about this critical issue (and, you can have a nice little beverage to lubricate your loquacity also).

Watch for the Perseid Meteor Shower Aug. 11-13. The Perseid shower will reach its peak late on Friday and Saturday nights for viewers in North America. You need no equipment other than your eyes to see "shooting stars" every few minutes.

[What has F.I.R.M. done to warrant my financial support] The Marathon and Big Pine Free Press July 19th Volume 17 Number 28 has written and editorial spelling out how much work has been done by F.I.R.M. I have also enclosed a letter from F.I.R.M. asking for your input. I hope you take time out to look into the work they are doing to help. If you like what you learn give your support.  I hope this info helps.

FIRM to hold candidates forum the evening of Monday, August 14, 2006 for State Representative race. Fair Insurance Rates in Monroe (FIRM) will hold a candidates' forum for those running for the District 120 seat in the Florida House of  Representatives to discuss insurance issues. The forum will be held in the 2nd floor conference room at the Harvey Government Center at 1200 Truman  Avenue in Key West on Monday, August 14, 2006 at 7:00 p.m.

The candidates will not receive the questions in advance. To date, Republicans Sal Gutierrez, David Rice, Spencer Slate and Jeffrey Wander and  Democrat Ron Saunders have confirmed that they will appear at the forum.

I knew they would finally release the ingredients in Viagra.  3% Vitamin E , 2% Aspirin,  2% Ibuprofen,  1% Vitamin C,  5% Spray Starch and  87% Fix-A-Flat.

[Venture Out and the bougainvillea thorns] I rode past a V.O. truck today and they were picking up the branches, when I asked if they were going to sweep up the thorns the worker nearly bit my head off. He said that he had been working the job for weeks and that it was a sh*t job. He told me not to worry about it and rode away in his golf cart. So much for neighbors. Hope your dog's alright. ( Re: the other post on increased maintenance fees if the trimmings were disposed of properly. You must be really cheap.)

If you have to ask what FIRM has done, then you are not paying attention.  Don't be so ignorant.  I see you've learned to use a computer, now try learning about your community.

[Venture Out, bougainvillea trimmings] There is an easier way; just replace the thorn bushes with barbed wire and no-see-thru fence strips. It might be a good idea to put the barbed wire on the inside too. Electrify the fence? Nah.

[Jersey Gal] It’s not that I have anything against the geographical area of land that is known as New Jersey. I’m sure that in some previous century it was a nice place.  It is more of a personal thing with the native inhabitants of the area who are pushy, rude, obnoxious, impolite, offensive, discourteous, cheap, over bearing, demanding, egotistical, socially dysfunctional, loud, ill mannered life forms with a nasty attitude and worse driving skills. 

And among this group the women seem to relish in their classic native travel garb of excessive amounts of fake gold jewelry adorning every body part (fortunately you can hear the ‘jingle’ from about 100 yards allowing time to avoid direct contact), over-size, loud, flower print Moo-moo’s draped across their elephantine physique (and often pinched ‘tween their enormous buttocks), enough cheap, dollar store perfume to be used as a chemical weapon and a make-up job with more thick, crusty colors than a Sherwin-Williams color chart.  Other than that (and the slime trail they leave behind) they’re tolerable.

Don't forget! Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School will be having an open house and meet the teacher event today, Friday from 10-12.  Students and parents may come and meet the teachers and staff of the school.  See you there!

It's the Truth:
Man's first taste of pain is circumcision, and woman never let up on the idea!
Marriage is Purgatory! Hell is having Children!
Merciless torment is in the eye of the Mother-in-Law!
The First thing marriage teaches a man, is how to get a grip on himself!
The Headache was invented during the Inquisition!
Children should be sterilized and not heard!
Bragging about having fourteen children is really screaming for help!
Man works all his life to support his woman. He also hopes she'll support him at least once a month!
Most chefs are men, and most woman are eaters, after marriage.
Redheaded wives never stop growing, and growing and growing!
Woman's "Love Handles" are only sexy to a blind man!
The average man wares a Tux twice in his life. When he marries and when he dies. Timing is everything!

I have a question for Venture Out. Why is it that as a renter your security guard in the morning, Eddie, tells me I have to wait for the office to open in order to pay for my children to come to the park? I thought the security guards are suppose to help us 24/7 when the office is closed. Why am I paying so much to live in Venture Out when your one guard is rude and won't help? I was going to be gone for the day and by the time I got back the office was closed again. I asked the second shift guard about this and I was told Eddie should've helped me instead of telling me I had to wait.

So what is Eddie's job? To sit there and do nothing while the other guards on the other shifts do everything? I heard he's a supervisor. Venture Out needs a new supervisor because this one does nothing. I see all the other guards working extra shifts, but never him. Hey Eddie, Start doing your job, man. -- lilmidnightwolf@comcast.net

Dear Winn-Dixie manager, do you think it’s possible that you can get your meat dept manager the weekly sale paper before it actually comes out; so that he can order the sale items for that week? This is an ongoing problem. See if you can resolve it.

[What to do with used oil] A company who sells oil and/or filters must accept used oil and filters. It’s a federal law.

[Dirty toes] I think you used to be a closet foot fetishist.

[4th Marx Brother]  Wasn’t it Zeppo? Even if I’m right I don’t want to go to the opera, but I would take a pizza at the No-Name Pub.

If you, your child, or your pets get hurt (the thorn), the property owner is responsible for damages. Public pathways on adjoining properties are the responsibility or the owners who have to keep it safe and clean. Hand Denture Out the bills, they can sure afford it.

Hello, Weenytoast. We miss you.

Friday August 11, 2006

Thursday August 10, 2006

I beg your pardon on the boat ramp closures on the stretch; those are Department of Transportation boat ramps. The Marine Port Advisory Committee is recommending for Monroe County to request that not only should those boat ramps remain open, but, that they should be improved with greater parking. The Board of County Commissioners has taken a “no-net-loss” position on boat ramps, working marinas, slips and public access to the waterfronts. Thank you Board of County Commissioners.

Camera phones are great for Christmas and birthday ideas, too.  My spouse is always asking for ideas so I collect them that way and put them in the email for future reference.  It gives them multiple choices so I get surprised.

When is mini season over? 

[Venture Out] I hate uptight retired people who ride their bikes around looking for infractions to complain about. What were the maintenance people supposed to do with the bougainvillea trimmings? Put a ground cloth to catch them? What do you expect? Do you want to pay more in your maintenance tithe because that’s what’ll happen if they have to prune like an idiot would and collect all their thorns. You’re a prune.

[Estimate rent of 3 bedroom, 2 bath house, landlocked] You can expect to pay from $1500 and up.

I see that FIRM is going to have a fundraiser at Coconuts. What has FIRM done to warrant my financial support? I know they’ve had fund raisers, but what concrete thing have they done that they need more of my money? How do they spend the money?

[27 minutes to drink a 14 oz cup of coffee ] Isn’t life truly amazing.  It takes me about the same time to drink a 16 oz. Bud and two shots of tequila.

[Drunks at store are my bread and butter] It is hard to butter your bread if you are killed by a drunk driver.

[Renter question]  Three bed homes for rent are at a premium.  You will be looking to start around $1500 a month or more for a dry lot, $1800 if on a canal.

[Other peoples’ toes] I notice others’ toes. Not because I have a foot fetish or anything, but I notice them when they get my attention by revolting me by their unkempt condition. Yuk. You have to groom all parts of your body if you don’t want to be laughed at by society.

[What kind of rent should I expect to pay]  You'll get tons of responses to your question. $2500/month would be a good, fair deal, unless you can find a trailer with 3 bd/2 baths.  You'll likely need about $7,500 cash to get in (F/L/D) but some will consider a reduced deposit if you throw in your first born. 

[pick up trucks] Why would that bother someone?  Everyone in my area has a brand new one, looking better than an old car, thanks to Wilma.

[27 minutes to drink a 14 oz cup of coffee] Still enjoying that stopwatch, eh?  How about inflicting it on some of the spots around town we hear about in this column?  Time the lights, waitresses, Post Office clerks, etc.  Take suggestions. That ought to stir the pot a bit!  I hope its a very quiet watch!

[You don’t usually change generals if you‘re planning a cease fire] Hezbollah wants the cease fire so they can re-arm.  Israel's mission is to disarm Hezbollah and push them out of Lebanon.  The UN, as usual, is absolutely useless, so it probably will get worse before it gets better.

This a great site for us Bush -Bashers. “More trees, less Bush. W=Wrong, etc.” http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/images/blbushbungle.htm

Perseid meteor shower Aug. 11-13 will reach its peak late on Friday and Saturday nights for viewers in North America. You need no equipment other than your eyes to see "shooting stars" every few minutes.

[What kind of rent should I expect to pay]  An arm and a leg and half a butt cheek.

I get all my ice at Ace Hardware; it’s only a buck for a great big bag. And I have a good laugh too.

I don’t think anybody thought Hezbollah would be so difficult to defeat. The truth of the mater is that no one can beat a religious fanatic. They have “god” on their side.

What happened to my new Dumb Idea for a Big Pine Key version of the board game Monopoly? The Avenues would be Baltic Ave. Cohen Subdivision would be Connecticut Ave. Eden Pines would be States Ave. Maybe Ships Way would be Boardwalk. Bigpinekeyopoly, though, would be different in that there's no Free Parking, none of the utilities work and there's no Community Chest. The luxury tax is 100% and every time you pass “Go” you pay $200. All the houses have been wiped out in hurricanes, only to be replaced with hotels that you can't afford. The dice are loaded, and you can only move backwards. The pieces are crack rocks and pot seeds. The railroads stopped running 100 years ago. Don't even think about getting a mortgage. You'll end up in jail anyway, every other turn. Just hope you land on Chance. All the money is still fake.  More dumb ideas to come.

[Convenience store clerk: Those drinkers are your bread and butter]   I was wrong the other day, "This" is the stupidest post I have seen on this site.

Big Pine recently lost one of its oldest inhabitants, and there are rumors that it was murder. The old tamarind tree that stood for (possibly) centuries at the corner of Ave.A and County Rd, supposedly was administered a lethal dose of herbicide by Monroe County as it was in the way of improvements to county road. I am not a tree hugger.

An old Piner that owned that Property in ‘72 said it was planted by the Spanish sailors who visited Big Pine before it was part of the US. They used tamarind fruit to ward off scurvy on long voyages. It was very high in vitamin C, even better than the limes  which the British used. The Spanish planted them where ever they landed for future use.

I hope the rumor is a hoax because I find it hard to believe that our county officials would approve such a thing.  I saved a cross section of the trunk.  If anyone can help me determine the age of this tree from this slab of trunk I would appreciate it. Don't tell me to count the rings as the wood is extremely dense and the individual rings are not distinguishable with the naked eye. If there are any tree aging experts around chirp in on this site and I'll show you my slab.

[house for rent question] I say $2,000 and up.

Not to sound too paranoid, but when Homeland Security and Microsoft tell me I have to up date my Windows with their super hot security up date, I do get the feeling I've been had again.

I'm not saying we should have attempted this, but check out how they tried do dispose of a dead, beached whale in Oregon decades ago. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtVSzU20ZGk This looks like something our Keys “experts” would propose.

Can't afford a washing machine] You male chauvinist Pig.

[Laundromat bad place to pick up a woman] A gynecologist’s office is even worse.

I am so glad someone else had to say something about Venture Out hospitality. I have no choice but to walk there and I had a bougainvillea thorn go thru my flip flop because there are cuttings of the dead branches all over the path. Then my little dog got a thorn thru her paw and I had to carry her home because it was so imbedded. (and yes I carry a poop bag) The inflammation was so bad on her foot I had to take her to the vet so thanks Venture Out it is the summer time and you’re still pissing me off.

[Kept awake by lobster out-of-towners] Sue them and the property owner. Be tough and call the cops if your peace and quite are disturbed. We do have laws you know. Screw the owner who's probably not even in the Keys. If the property's in a realtor's hands, sue them too. They'd sue you in an instant.

The real reason Castro has disappeared from sight is the fact that they are cloning him. Yes, he will rule forever, and there will be four of him.

[Israel isn’t satisfied with the way the war is going] No shit? They will never be satisfied until they rule the whole planet. This is a religious war, if you didn't know it. It's all for the power and the money!

As reported yesterday:  Apparently, some of our Muslim friends are offended by the terms “diaper heads” or “towel heads” to refer to people who wear that silly looking thing on their head.  The Muslims, who by the way are the same group who hate us and want to destroy our country and kill us all, pointed out that the headwear is neither a towel nor a diaper but a small sheet folded and wrapped about the head.  So as not to offend their delicate sensibilities I suggest that from now on we refer to them as “small sheet heads.”

[Convenience store clerk’s dilemma] You can’t call the cops on everyone who’s drinking and driving because you’ll lose your job and the store will close.

That's gotta hurt.

Yeah! Captain Tony is from Jersey.  What do you have against New Jersey?  Someone on this site constantly makes remarks about New Jersey. Fat women from NJ, etc.  What is your problem?  Did you get dumped by a big fat Jersey Gal?  Get over it already.  Or are you really a New Yorker?  Most of us are from some place else, let's just celebrate each others differences and all get along, okay?

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