Archives of Old Coconut Telegraph

January 2007
 

Wednesday January 31, 2007




Chili today, hot tamale.

Goodness!  Did you read your post? You said any rational person would have lied to Congress.  You cannot believe that.  That is why Clinton is not a lawyer anymore!  There are dire consequences for lying in court or even worse the President of the United States lying to Congress

[Party boat to Cuba] they won’t need any Jeepneys for shuttles as they already have a large fleet of restored 50s and 60s American cars, mule carts and bicycle rickshaws.

[everyone on drugs] That’s very true. Do you know anyone who isn’t on drugs? Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t think being on legal drugs counts, do you? If your doctor says it’s ok to take drugs to make your life easier, that’s ok? American’s are mostly hypocrites. A good example is that junkie, Rush Limbaugh. He takes more oxicontin than any user I know, but right wing conservatives love him. If Howard Stern took drugs the right-wing conservatives would discount him for being a user, but it’s all right with Rush.

Wednesday January 30, 2007? Should we invest and get our editor a new calendar?




To the volleyball mom who hasn’t seen an iguana; tell her to buy a hibiscus and watcher it for a couple of hours.

[Mile Marker 24 Band] I’m so excited that I just had to stop and drop you all a note before we hit the road for the drive back to the Keys from Nashville!  (It is cold up here!) We’ve just finished up ten days here in recording our new CD and we are ready to party, Keys style, and you are invited!!!  Join us this Saturday night, Feb. 3 at Boondocks on Ramrod Key. (Mile Marker 27.5) The fun kicks off at 7:00 p.m. with the Mile Marker 24 Big Band .  We’ll share some of the new music plus we’ll have giveaways, a Limbo contest, and of course we’ll fire up the old Johnson and make you a margarita.  Hope to see you then!


[Sax and rock ‘n roll] The electric guitar lead didn’t really start until the early sixties, at last most of the stuff on the radio. And some of the bands…gasp, didn’t even have an electric guitar until that time and like the other guy said, they only played rhythm.

Did Sloan ever get his money back from the Habitat people for the defunct Seahorse defense fund?

Senator John Kerry went to the floor to make what he called an important and urgent announcement. Unfortunately this is another example of sloppy journalism. The media said [it was] Kerry announcing he will not run in 2008. But in fact, it was Kerry simply completing his concession speech from 2004.

I’m looking for a new HDTV, but am totally confused by all the differences. I looked in two places and am more confused as to which one I should get. What is the difference between720p and 1080p DLP? HDMI-to-HDMI and HDMI input? I know plasma TV’s have glare and don’t last as long and that LCD TV’s only have a certain viewing angle, but that’s it. What should I look for so I’m not sorry after I buy it?

Answers to: ”If the Keys are so great..”
How come Jimmy Buffett doesn't live here?  ANS:  Because he tried it and didn’t like it but t-shirt and cheeseburger sales are strong!
My relatives won't visit?  ANS:  They can’t afford to stay in a local hotel!

Why does it smell like spoiled eggs all the time?  ANS:  Please wash your feet and change your socks!
Why does the water look like a sewer overflow near the shoreline?  ANS:  Because the cruise ships dump all their sewage to wash back in with the tide. 
Why do I want to come back all the time?   ANS:  It’s the great happy hour deals on $1 cans of Busch!
Why does the grass try to snake between my toes like an anaconda?  ANS:  Your toes are spread wide apart and the grass senses fertilizer!
How come there are no monkeys?  ANS:  They were relocated from Key Lois (Monkey Island) because the animal rights zealots needed another cause!
There is no sand?  ANS:  Because we are sitting on top of an ancient coral reef not a desert!
The coconuts don't taste like coconut?  ANS:  Let them ripen and add plenty of rum!
No one can sell their house when they want to at the listed price?  ANS:  Because the listed price is ridiculous for 900 sq. ft. on stilts in a hurricane zone!
Does anybody know the answers to these questions?  Now you do!




I enjoy watching good athletic performance.  I am unimpressed with steroid-enhanced freaks displaying lack of self-control on and off the field of competition.

I once worked at 2 for 20 Pizza; that was when the two so-called men owned it . I would see everyday how things would go crazy. I quit the job there. Now I must say the place has really turned around. The pizza is great and Wayne, the owner, cares about the people who order. Good luck and I will be ordering again.

How to tell if you have smelly feet!

Ed, great picture of the Taxi-Raft.

The Ashura branch of Shite Islam beat themselves bloody on their special day today. What a wonderful way for Muslims to celebrate. I wish they would all beat themselves to death. Islam, the fastest growing religion in the world.

[Everyone in this Country is on some kind of drug] Coffee, Tea, Booze, Sugar, Salt, etc!


Shhhhsh! Ed, maybe no one else saw, but yesterday was Tuesday the 30th.  I know you are just keeping us retired ones on our toes. Caught ya!

[Iran is installing a nuclear centrifuge] You are volunteering the Israelis since everyone hates them anyway. I thought the Bush administration was going to rid the world of terrorists. And why would you want someone you hate to save your ass. On the other hand, they wouldn't have to be asked not ordered they will do it when they feel the threat is imminent to them.

[Islam sounds more like Jim Jones’s Peoples Temple or David Koreash’s Branch Dravidians] Just like any church or synagogue. They are all the same BS!

[Hung like a Moose] I really don't think this is what most people think when they use this phrase! They were laying new power cables near Fairbanks, Alaska which were strung on the ground for miles. The moose are rutting right now and very agitated. He was thrashing around and got his antlers stuck in the cables. When the men (miles away) began pulling the lines up with their big equipment, the moose went up with them. They noticed excess tension in the lines and went searching for the problem. He was still alive when they lowered him to the ground. He was a huge bull and really pissed!

Sorry to correct you, but the word is jitney not Jeepney. We used to ride them in Miami in the old days of 1954. 25 cents to go anywhere.

Here is the link www.c-b.com to the company who is Developing the "US 1 Corridor Enhancements Plan".  If you want to protect your home and your Keys existence as is, look into these guys and understand what they are up to. It is not only the Keys that are at stake, but anywhere a politician can be bent and land can be had to make millions with. We locals are going to loose this one, and it will be a disaster for the Keys as well. Think before you vote next time. If there is a next time!

[Homeless survey] While in the laundry near Big Pine's Winn-Dixie recently, I spilled some liquid soap and needed to go to the bathroom to rinse my hands. The door was locked and a sign said to see attendant for the key. I'd never had that happen before, and the attendant said it was because of the homeless. I said the homeless need a place to go to the bathroom, and she said they had been going into the bathroom and trashing it and passing out in there, so now they couldn't use it. I said they shouldn't ought to have done that . . .Sloan's Space

[Iraqi Military]  Another reason why it takes so long to create an effective Iraqi Army is you're training a nation who followed Soviet doctrine for decades and now you're asking them to use American doctrine.  Americans entrust senior enlisted people to instruct and lead combat forces.  Not the case with an Army trained under Soviet doctrine.  It can take years to school a soldier to be entrusted to train and lead junior soldiers.  The battle last Saturday against a sizeable insurgent force gives promise that the Iraqis are getting there, but still need U.S. advisors and air support.  

Hi Ed, My teaching is picking up significantly and baseball season is upon us so I'm running short on time and energy. I'm considering doing Deer Abby every other Monday instead of every Monday (unless, of course, it will get me fired). If you're going to replace me, I'll just suck it up and keep on the same schedule. And hey, we never had a company Christmas party--what gives?  

Hi, I am looking for the guy who wrote some stuff about my car accident May 29th 2005. Can you  please give him and only him my email address? indianangel12219@aol.com . It was the car accident caused by Darren Bell. I was in the accident, my sister (best friend ) was killed. Thank you and everyone down there that helped us.

Another meeting was held at the Sugarloaf School on 30 Jan., for the Route 1 Corridor Beautification and Tax Money Diversion Plan. Yes, it had all the fixings of an artistic con job as did all the other meetings. The companies and the Building dept guys, had that blank stare and presented all the niceties of how they want to make the Lower Keys, Keyzeland and prime the visitors to our homesteads to show them how cute and quaint it is here. Remember how the theme parks started?  I wish I knew who started this crap, I'd find a strong rope and use it! There's only one thing needed here in the Keys--to leave us alone. Period!

Wanted: Woman who has a boat and likes to go fishing and doesn’t need walks on beach, candlelight dinners or cuddling. Please send picture of boat.

Tinted windows are done at extreme Audio KW and Keys Truck Acc in Marathon. Both are great, but Extreme uses best tint in the biz. You get what you pay for.

The Piper Road Spring Band, the best bluegrass band in the land, will play Friday night at the Key Deer Bar and Grill. It starts at 7 pm and runs till 11pm. It’s another backyard B-B-Q bash by ye ole Capt Dan. Plenty of food and beverages. Plenty of seats and the weather will be great along with the music. It's a bluegrass band in concert. See you at the Key Deer this Friday, Feb. 2nd.

[switching from Cingular to Vonage] Vonage is not a cell phone company, but a VoIP company.  (Voice over Internet)  What this means is that you use your home phone connected to a small box that in turn is connected to your high speed internet connection (Cable, DSL)  Vonage does now have available a small cell phone-like handset that you can use w/o wires, but you need to have access to a Wi-Fi service.  You cannot use Vonage (or other VoIP services) without having High Speed Internet.

I've use both Vonage and Packet8 VoIP service and find both to work great.  Sound quality is as good as your regular home phone, with a similar delay that you would experience with a cell-phone.  What's nice about both is that wherever in the world you go where you have access to high speed internet, you can have you home phone with you.

This year's annual chili cook off, held Sunday at Coconuts and hosted by Southernmost ABATE, was a huge success. It was our biggest ever and all who attended were in fine form. 

Winners were: Worst chili: John Frusco, second best chili: Diane Gaffield and the top chili was made by Bob and Dixie Henckel.

Many thanks to all who entered their homemade chilies, and to all who attended. Profits from this event and others hosted by our motorcycle chapter go to Lower Keys charities.

Ultimate Journey. Great video. I’ll bet they were cold.



Is this the guy
everyone is watching?

How about some great news for awhile?
1. I think the snowbirds are pretty friendly this year and they seem to be enjoying the sunshine.
2. I went to Rob’s for lunch the other day and enjoyed it. Rob was pleasant and the food wasn’t bad at all.
3. The postal service seems to have it all together again and maybe the people saying it was the Christmas rush that had things a little off kilter were right. My mailman’s doing a good job.
4. 2 for 20 Pizza deserves Kudos for their customer service day. Remember some folks would bitch if you gave them a million dollars in dollar bills.
5. Its great living in the Keys year round. Soon the swimming holes will be open to us locals and the party will begin.
6. All snowbirds are required to leave your daughters behind this year if they are over 21. Sorry it’s a new Manlaw.
7. R.C. at least has the food coming out of Capt. Dans tasting better. Now they just need some smiling customers.

Keep smiling folks!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 31, 2007


 

(It's really Tuesday)Wednesday January 30, 2007

Keys weather forcast: "Burr" today and "Aahh" tomorrow.



The new Vista operating system cost Microsoft six billion dollars to create and they are spending a half billion to advertise it.

Iran is installing a nuclear centrifuge. What are we going to do about it? Nothing. We aren't able. I say send the Israelis to take it out. Everyone hates them anyway.

I watched a few early 50’s movies yesterday and almost gagged. They were completely bland and without soul. The only good song, that I liked, was Willy and the Hand Jive.

That was the period when the saxophone was king. The only thing the Fender Strats and Telecasters did was too play bland “rhythm”. Everyone was waiting for the sax solo at the break. The sax would blow that long, low, sleazy sound that would really make you feel.

That’s when I signed up at a music store to take saxophone lessons. I couldn’t sleep all week such was my excitement. I wanted to learn to play real great and not tell anyone and then one day at a wedding or something, I’d get up there and play my ass off and all the girls would want me. Well, it didn’t work out that way.

When the great day finally came I went to the shop for my first lesson; the cool dude with the tilted tam and shiny trumpet asked where my sax was? Oh, oh, I hadn’t thought about that. I just thought they would give me one. That was the end of my sax dream.

When you start that party boat/shuttle to Cuba be sure to have a fleet of highly noticeable Jeepneys to pick up the touristas at either end to get them to the hot spots, hotels, and to and from their cars.  Or maybe that could be somebody else's startup business.

[Longtime KW Citizen Photographer has a new book] Michelle at WAIL said to give you a shout. My book is available at www.roboneal.com I hope you like it!

[tint windows I looked last year and couldn't find anyone in the Keys that were remotely reasonable.  Check in Florida City, there are many.

n Feb. 2006 my granddaughters were invited to play volleyball with a group at Watson field.  They will be here again in a few weeks and would like to practice with this group.  What day would they expect the girls to be there? I still have not seen an iguana.

I don't know why the Iraqi army isn't ready, but I have a theory; when our new soldiers are put on active duty they are mixed in with those who have a lot of experience already.  The Iraqis have not been allowed independent action in decades and are getting their experience on-the-job without that seasoned help in their ranks.

Worker dead at desk for five days. a fifty year old man died of a heart attack in NY and no one noticed him dead. His boss said the guy was always the first in and the last to leave so everyone assumed he was still working. the moral here is that you should nudge your co-workers once in a while.

[Clinton leaving dead people behind] It sounds like you are a history revisionist, or even worse a conspiracy theorist. Vance Foster’s death was not Clinton’s fault. Who else do you think he had killed? Who did Bush have killed? Four thousand of our sons and daughters and still counting?

Some of you are so thick headed that whenever you hear Clinton’s name you meltdown for irrational reasons. His only crime was lying to Congress about having sex; and any rational person would do the same thing to save his marriage. His lying had nothing to do with government or the nation. It was a very personal matter. Sure he screwed up, but not to elicit the venomous hate I see in this country.

[tint the windows on my car. Anyone know someone?] Yes, I do.  The name is Shady Creations and he does Auto Detailing, Window Tinting, Wash and Wax on your vehicle. He came to my work and tinted my truck windows right there on the spot and did an absolutely wonderful job with quality products (3M) at a reasonable price. You can contact him at 305-849-6572.


Anybody that worships a polygamist pedophile (had many young wives Mohamed) 5 times a day and thinks that you get 40 virgins and lots of wine (neither of which they’re supposed to partake of on earth) and if you take a non-believer with you to death you go to heaven-- is a radical and not worthy to call it a religion (maybe a cult would be more descriptive). Islam sounds more like Jim Jones’s Peoples Temple or David Koreash’s Branch Davidians.

Tom Willi must go before it's too late. Kudos to Dixie Spehar for even considering doing something that the citizens want.

[warning about Southernmost Furniture continued] The customers you are referring to are very good friends of mine and I know for a fact that the mattress was exchanged only once due to terrible sagging after 3 months and my friend has never had back surgery. After hearing my friend’s bad experience with Southern Furniture and reading your untrue slanderous comments, I will never buy anything from you myself. That’s just bad business! --kwddlaw@bellsouth.net



I can no longer relate to a black dominated (70%) overpaid sport Indiana-Illinois world championship Super bowl. I'll rent a movie Sunday.

I understand that there used to be a ferry that went to Cuba.

When it comes to leaving dead people behind the Clintons don’t hold a candle to Bush.



Damn, I wish that global warming stuff would hurry up its cold!

Our county judges in Ohio are subject to drug testing like any other county employee. So far, so good.

I agree; kudos to Ed. He devotes a lot of time for this site for us.


Everyone in this Country is on some kind of drug, so what are you talking about?

Lost. Nokia cell phone on Thurs or Fri. Jan 26. Bob 872-4648

As a lifetime ABATE member I would like to say what a great time was had by all at our ABATE Chili Cookoff Sunday. Thank you Coconuts and staff.


[Car Ferry] If we hadn't sunk the taxi-raft the Cubans were bringing over we could have used it or any of the numerous Cuban boats that are laying around. 

I agree with the posting that made the statement about the Iraqi army. After 4 years they should be doing something. I don't know where that person got his Basic training and AIT but when I was in, it was only 8 weeks each. 8 weeks of basic and AIT does not a soldier make. I just knew enough to get my ass shot off. Do you remember the high stepping units of the Republican Guard, Saddam’s elite? They looked like heroes--on the battlefield they were zeros. It is very hard to teach illiterate people from books, which is the system of the Americans, I believe. They have to be taught by the monkey see, monkey do method. I have conducted instruction like that with success.




[Legendary racehorse Barbaro dies] Awww.

Bush is always telling us how much political progress Iraq has made only to be screwed by violence. The facts are that Iraq has had its politics and institutions fall apart since the American invasion. Its state was dismantled, the social order destroyed and its civic institutions and sense of community ruined by sectarianism. The three major sects were never even brought together to see how they could live together. The only good thing Bush did was get them to hold elections and write a Constitution (that’s mostly ignored). Yea, I know, the media doesn’t report the good stuff.

I lost my cell phone and am considering switching from Cingular to Vonage because of the T.V. commercials. What's the latest cell phone info for the Lower Keys area?

Key West to Cuba transportation is only likely if the KW Junta thinks it can make money that way. If you think for one minute any individual would be allowed to set up a shuttle business to a commie country, guess again. Besides that, all the niches in Cuba are already controlled by Euro and Asian interests. But then there's the Mob connection!



[
A Cop's Worst Nightmare
] Some things are just too graphic for police to handle.
This week's County screw up is that they hired the same law firm that represents the contractor of the abortion of an airport construction.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 30, 2007

 

Monday January 29, 2007




And it is going to be colder tonight! I’m moving to the tropics. Oops, I forgot, I already did.

[To all the anal retentive FIRM supporters of the Florida Keys] Anal-ites, first of all let me tell you what the insurance companies did and let me make it perfectly clear. The insurance companies didn’t make 60 billion dollars last year because they were a bunch of dumb asses, but I digress. You know when your cars are starting to get old and you want to sell it.  The normal process is to list it in the newspaper or other ad sources and bump it up a thousand dollars or two higher than you really want.  Well, that’s just what the insurance companies did.  What you’re going to pay after this is over with is exactly what the insurance companies wanted from the get-go.  They were just figuring out what they could get away with.  So before you start putting a few sexually frustrated women on a pedestal, use you head and think about it. FIRM did squat. --Govwatch05@netscape.com



How come after four years the Iraqi army isn’t ready for the job? I went to basic training for six months and advanced infantry training for a few more and I was ready.

[To the woman who was hit on by the drunk, smelly biker dude at Key Deer Bar and Grill] My question is: How is that the fault of the establishment?  You go to a bar and sit down and have one undesirable guy hit on you, so you won't go within 500 yards of it again?  If I used that form of logic, I would never walk into a bar ever again in my life.  If someone was really bothering you, I recommend you get up and move, or at least tell one of the folks that work there that you are being pestered and I'm sure you would have gotten some results.  Just a suggestion; give them another try.


Injade performs
their fun energy and great rockin’ this weekend. Friday, February 2nd at the Looe Key Tiki Bar US1 MM27 1/2 at 7pm. And this Saturday, February 3rd at Sugarloaf Key KOA US1 MM20 at 6pm.

A car ferry would be great to take to Cuba.



Bill Gates will be on The Daily Show tonight. That should be good for a laff.
Those in government should have to pass a urine test for drugs along with those receiving welfare.




The least used phrase in the English language is "Touchdown—Bears!"

[Two postings I'm in agreement with] The assertion that code enforcement rewrites laws is not far from the truth. Question mark notwithstanding. The fact is certain individuals in that agency are quite comfortable making up rules as they go along, by arbitrarily changing, reinterpreting, and inventing ordinances at their pleasure and convenience.  This practice is absolutely treacherous. It is rule by caprice. It has happened over and over for years, and getting worse.  Also, these decrees don't qualify as law exactly, and a good lawyer can make a nice living shoving them back where they came from. The trouble is, taxpayers pay both ways. Also, code enforcement works in consort and lockstep with the local FEMA Gestapo, destroying lives in this county. I can't think why anyone would assert lame denials to that fact, when it's as plain as the schnoz on your puss.

One day, there will be a revolt and a crowd on their doorstep with the ropes, torches, shovels, and clubs, and I'll be somewhere near the front.

One more thing. The profoundly moronic comparison of gambling in the stock market with losing the rights of absolute ownership, is a testimonial to stampeding advancement of socialism in this country. Somebody tell Jim Jones they're breeding them faster than Kool-Aid can make their drink.



I need someone to tint the windows on my car.  Anyone know someone?

[In Muslim countries their kids are taught religious intolerance and hatred of other religions] This quote from another post is a bunch of crap and promotes hatred in itself.  I know a Muslim physician in our country that speaks to other religious groups about the tolerance of all faiths.

Microsoft Vista is being released tomorrow. There are only three operating systems that I know of: Windows, Macintosh and the free Linux systems. I wouldn't want to have the first version of any new operating system because of all the bugs associated with such a major upgrade and the problem of other software and hardware not working properly with it. Also Vista is the most expensive OS in history--upwards of $500. (the price of a new computer). I'll wait until I need a new computer before I'd upgrade to Vista.

[Key West will shrivel and die, serving only as a jumping off place for Havana.] Key West has shriveled and died years ago. As far as a jumping off place to Cuba, who in their right mind would drive or fly into Key West to boat of fly to Havana when it takes only 30 minutes to fly from Miami or any major airport?



This site is the coolest mix of funny and fascinating I've ever read.  Some days the whiners get you down a bit, but there's always a bounce-back before long.  Thanks, Ed for all the time and effort you must put in to keep this going as regularly as you do.

[Key West to Havana via the ferry] Are you kidding? It’ll never happen. My car insurance company would never cover my vehicle for a trip like that.

On the trash can overflow on US1 call Maya T.

This is for the owner of the Parker boat named Key Purr.  I'd like to introduce you to a little thing called Karma.  Next time you are rounding Summerland Key along the shoreline, try slowing down as to not throw such a wake down our canals.  Had you been going idle, like you were supposed to, you would not have run aground quite so hard.  Hopefully, it taught you a hard-learned lesson.  

Wal-Mart announced that, on January 1, 2007, it will begin offering  customers Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine at an affordable price, in the $2- $5 range. Parrotdise Restaurant’s Big Pecker wine doesn’t have to fear this competition.

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for  the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).




[My last Yankee girlfriend] Is this her?

In response to some negativity about 2 for 20 Pizza's free giveaway last week, I decided to get my first meal there to judge for myself. The pizza was great, crispy light sweet dough, fresh sauce and topping. Also excellent was the service. I forgot to get my credit card back, and when I went there the next day, it was stowed away safely for me. No trips to Vegas appeared on my statement (that I didn't know about!) I'll be back, free or not!



The absolute best-ever response to a “Dear John” letter. This marine collected photos from is fellow soldiers and sent them to his former girlfriend.

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?  Me neither."  --Steve Martin

Howard Livingston and The Mile Marker 24 band arrive back from recording their new CD in Nashville Tennessee to play one show only at Boondocks Grill and Draft house this Saturday, February 3rd on Ramrod Key. (Mile marker 27.5 on US 1) The show starts at 7:00 PM and will feature the Mile Marker 24 Big Band. As always there will be giveaways, door prizes, a Limbo contest and they will fire up the old Johnson outboard margarita maker and make a batch for you. For more information call 305-849-1927 or visit www.milemarker24.com or www.myspace.com/milemarker24

Today I saw Hilary Clinton fire a broadside at the Bush administration. What a phony. I read a list the other day, and it looks like the Clintons are like the Plague, leaving a lot of dead people behind them. The Vince Foster death was very suspect, but there are so many others. If all those people could be brought back to point a finger, Slick Willie and Hillary won't even be elected for dog catcher.


If Cuba opened up
somebody with some initiative could start a party boat/shuttle service over to the hot spots.  Make deals with hotels on either end and parking areas in the Keys and you'd have a thriving business. 

We gave Key Deer Restaurant another try yesterday (have not been there in over a year because it took over 2 hours to get our food) so we gave them another shot. It took 10 minutes for a wait person to come to our table and after ten minutes we noticed another table had gotten up to get there own drink at the bar. So we left. Sorry, we tried, but don't think we will be back for a long time. We went to Rob’s and had a great meal with great service. Sorry Capt Dan. --saabsonett@aol.com



Deer Abby Monday

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Monday January 29, 2007

 

Sunday January 28, 2007



This is a cool site for bible fans. You get to select what version, book and chapter and then the map zooms in on the location where the event mentioned took place. BibleMap.org

In response to the warning about Southernmost Furniture and Europa mattresses. We exchanged that mattress twice in six months at the customer’s request. The customer complaining is on their sixth mattress in less than one year! Customer had back surgery. We sold over 2,000 beds and this is the only customer we walked away from because they were unruly and rude! 
--jason@southernmostfurniture.com

[Save the Polar Bears] What they really need is to save the ice. The polar ice cap is less than one third the size it was in 1970.

My last Yankee girlfriend stunk and threw poo. Maybe she was a monkey? Are they native to Atlantic City?

I don’t know the purpose of this site except to tell the viewer in one very long paragraph how nice it is to have a pet. Animals are worth it

This art is entirely made of colored pencils.

Everybody blames the growth management for too many things that they aren't responsible for. Believe me, they do enough damage, but the stuff about having your downstairs enclosure inspected isn't just to give code enforcement something to do. It is a compromise made between Monroe County and FEMA that allowed Monroe County to stay on the recipient list in the event of hurricane or other natural disaster damage.

FEMA has been using Monroe County as an experiment for 30 years to try to develop a plan to decrease the damage done by floods. We are totally surrounded by water (duh) and have a small number of people living here in comparison to the length of land (100 miles plus). Aside from that, we as a whole, are probably the most complacent people in the United States. Even though we have far less flood damage that, lets say, the Mississippi Delta, we are the guinea pigs.

A few years ago FEMA wanted to drop us from the list of areas that they would help in the event of a hurricane because Monroe County was dragging it's feet regarding the inspection and removal of downstairs enclosures. These inspections are mandated by FEMA, not code enforcement. You do not need to have Code enforcement perform these inspections. There are several people who are licensed to do these and aren't looking for code violations. The next time you want to blame somebody for this one, please direct the blame properly. FEMA is also the one that won't let you keep your washing machine or lawn mower (or anything else) in your downstairs enclosure.

Based on what I have read of County Administrator Tom Willi's and other people's comments in the Citizen and Keynoter, and have heard Tom and other people say on US 1 Radio, dating back to the 18-hour hurricane evacuation report to Governor Bush, I personally believe Tom needs to move on. But it's not my call to make. I'm telling people that this is a very difficult thing facing the county commission, and it needs to be done carefully and thoroughly. Here are some thoughts about how that might go . . .Sloan's Space 

To the whacko saying, "if you work for the government you will always be entrenched.” Pass on drinking the bong water next time, dude.

Ah, the Spider Ranch…Fond memories of my youth; even the many that were lost while living through. Those were the days, my friends. How did we ever survive them?

Does the person who had code enforcement harass them about the lot they own, live on Ramrod?  There is a lady there who has been driving around looking for things to turn people in for.  She doesn't even try to hide it.  If people ask her she will come right out and tell them what she is doing.  Her husband will at least lie about it and try to save face in the neighborhood.  Don't you love these people who will get their house done then look for things to prevent others from making our community look better?  They should move to an area where they have no neighbors.  I hear the North Pole is nice this time of year.  I think Santa needs to build a new addition on his pole for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  This lady should go check the situation out and make sure they got a proper permit. 

I wonder if our editor will call this slander.  I did mention Santa and his reindeer.  Maybe they are related to the drunk at the Key Deer.

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin Williams.

Yesterday, while driving on Kew Deer Blvd toward US1 a large boat being towed by a pickup dropped one of it's outriggers onto the side of the road. I cut behind CVS drug store when they got stopped by the light and tried to flag them down on the Highway, but they refused to pull over. It would have behooved them to do so, because now they will have to spend a couple of hundred dollars or so to replace it. I retrieved it and I intend to post it on Lost and Found, and if I hear nothing in a reasonable amount of time will post it for sale cheap or maybe even free.

[Maggots and moths update] This morning I noticed that one of my five or so pupae emerged as a moth, the same species as the one I caught in the cupboard. I believe, thanks to the two knowledgeable posters on this forum, that they are Indian Meal Moths. It's interesting to find out that they can actually chew through cardboard and even plastic. On Monday I'm going to call Kim Gable at the County extension service to see if she is familiar with these moths. I have to go into K West Tues.; I might just drop in on her, depending on what she says on Monday. Stay tuned.

Why do women have two hands?

Why men have two hands.

[Key West as a jump off point to Cuba]  What am I going to do, take a boat? Get real. Tourists will fly in from all over the country into either Ft Lauderdale, Miami, Ft Myers even Atlanta, then hop on over to Jose Marti on a small jet. Key West won’t even enter into the equation. A better question to ask is if the wet foot /dry foot policy will end? Will ex-pat Cubanos sell out in Miami and move back? Or will the flood gates open for more illegal immigration to the US? It would be cool to hear what real Cubans think about this.




Condoleezza makeover

[No person shall make, continue, or cause to be made any unreasonable noise." - plain and simple.  Lawn mowers, etc are considered reasonable.  Loud music is not] The definition of unreasonable noise is not as simple as you state. Here it is: “Any noise of which with the exercise of reasonable care, the maker or operator should know is loud and raucous due to its volume, character, duration, time of occurrence, or the number of persons affected, regardless of its source or content;”

The duration of loud music is taken into consideration, the time of occurrence and the number of persons affected are all taken into consideration. The code states the source of noise does not matter (lawn mower). Many may believe music is reasonable depending on time of day, duration and number of people affected. If only one neighbor out of a whole street is affected and the music was at a 1 pm and only played for a couple of hours it would be tough for the government or “injured party” to prove a violation of this ordinance in court. But that may be why it is written like this, to give people some freedom. And if the noise is completely excessive then can be prosecuted. The night time ordinance is very clear, but the day is not. Who is to say what noise is loud and raucous, the judge? What about the character of the sound? What decibel is considered loud during the day?


Every bridge from Big Pine to Big Coppitt has trash containers that are most always overflowing.  How can people get rid of their trash properly when the barrels don't get emptied? 

Hey, Joe B. Thanks a bunch! 

How come the Barometer's website never updates. I'm sick of looking at old news.

I am just so frustrated!  Socialism!  How can you say socialists are like fleas on a dog?  There is no comparison as fleas work hard.  Socialists sit around bemoaning their plight and looking over the fence (or across the canal) seeing what we capitalists have earned and want to redistribute our wealth amongst themselves.   Go buy the biggest luxury SUV you can find with all the bells and whistles and enjoy it; that really gets their envy meter pegging. 

When I enjoy what I have that is being greedy--phooey!  I'm not kidding. Just recently in the Winn-Dixie parking lot one of them started mouthing off about how much gas my SUV was burning and I pointed out that my 22 MPG was a whole lot better than that of the rusted out, oil belching, old 70's pickup he was driving (probably got 8 MPG)  What a scream.  I try to see things from their point of view, but can't seem to get my head up my butt that far.  Gosh, I love this site.  I actually feel better now.  Thank you, Ed.


Here, here to the FBI showing the Bears what the goal line looks like. Heaven knows they probably won’t see much of it anytime soon. That was well worth reading, Go Colts. Oh, and the horse doing it to a bear, ah, you’re so' funny! Thanks to all writing-in supporting dem Colts. Go Colts!

[Really disgruntled pizza lover]  He would complain if got run over by a brand new bus. Some people are just a**holes.

To the Conch Rag editor. I know the guy who wrote you wanting to fight. He is crazy and has a police record. Watch yourself with him. The Chart Room is a good place.

Best friends forever.

[Thank you FIRM] Last year my insurance was $4,000 on a $150,000 policy. This year it will be 1/2 that.


Remember reading all the jokes about little Johnny? You know, the kid the teachers are afraid to pick on for answers for fear of what he may say? Well, finally, a photo of little Johnny. Think you can pick him out?

Code enforcement is re-writing laws(?) to give them more power to control our property. People better wake up and pay attention.

Why did my Citizens Wind Insurance drop $1300 this year?  Is it because my homestead finally got approved or did FAIR get something accomplished?  You could have knocked me over with feather when I opened my bill!



For all who appreciate the outdoors this is the rarely photographed South Florida Squirrel.

Using clues based on stationery and office supplies you’re to guess what movie title they depict. I didn’t get any right. Viking's Stationery Movies

A new internet radio program in the Keys will be arriving February 5th. The link can be found at http://www.funnkeywest.com  Just click on Keys95. You will need either Windows Media Player or Winamp player. See funnkeywest for more info. Please post on your site for me in the Gossip Section and also your Whiners and Kudos Section. Will include a talk show program in the morning and Music and Remixes of today’s and yesterday’s music including Rap, Country, Rock, HipHop, Reggae, etc.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Sunday January 28, 2007

 

Saturday January 27, 2007

[The most dangerous man in the world] Is Bush stubborn or what? He said he listened to all the arguments and decided to continue his escalation of his war.

Two and a half Commissioners called for the County Administrator’s resignation. It looks like Tom Willi’s days are numbered. It’s about time. Whenever his name appears there’s usually a negative statement attached to it. The same goes for Mayor DiGenarro. Every time I hear or read his name it’s attached to something I don’t like. I say he’s should be the next to go.
--usa33043@yahoo.com

[yard sale today] Saturday Jan 27th from 8 am till 2 pm. Located at mile marker 30 Big Pine Key. All proceeds go to the Coldwell Banker charitable foundation helping our Keys residents that are in need. There will also be girl scout cookies for sale.

Peyton or Rex is not the question. It’s Peyton or the Bears D. I hope Peyton survives. I like his commercials. If good Rex should happen to show up, so much the better. Isn’t this more fun than the no minds arguing about politics? At least we will have an answer in a week. da Bears rule!

The noise ordinance is found under Monroe County code 13-52.  Between the hours of 10:00 pm and 8:00 am, any loud, continuous noise is illegal.  This one needs to be pointed out to construction companies who start before 8:00 am.  On Friday and Saturday nights, the hour is pushed back to 11:00 pm.  On New Years Eve, it is 1:00 am.  Otherwise, code 13-53(a), which would cover daytime, states "No person shall make, continue, or cause to be made any unreasonable noise." - plain and simple.  Lawn mowers, etc are considered reasonable.  Loud music is not.

[We’ll see a big increase in tourist business if Cuba opens] …of people on their way to Cuba.  Key West will shrivel and die, serving only as a jumping off place for Havana.

Lock 'n load your cameras with the zoom lenses and pellet and paintball guns.  The canal stalker was brazenly casing Eden Pines again this Friday after 4.  I know it's a free Country, one can take a skiff ride up and down our canals and study our properties and vessels, but this individual has future plans.  Research has shown that they do much of their dirty work in broad daylight and that most of what they're looking for is in the master bedroom.  I understand that we have some Law Enforcement people living in our subdivision and would ask people to be on alert.  If you get a picture of him, post it here.  Have others seen this recently in Eden Pines?  Someone said to call the Sheriff, but by the time they get out here, the skiff stalker may have disappeared.  This guy was heading towards our part of the canal and saw me on my walk at the end of the canal and he turned around quickly only to return again after my walk and with another neighbor also seeing this suspicious person.  He did not speak when asked if we could help him with something.  Someone here said that it could be a sponger, but this guy looks like a hardened criminal.  It's times like this when the barky yard dogs and the other assorted security devices come in handy.  Instead of closing your blinds and "not getting involved," do the right thing and promptly call the Authorities when something is just not right.  That's what they're being paid to do.

There are a few things the terrorist that want to harm America just don’t understand. In America we have kids that are outside playing baseball or are involved in Girl scouts that are allowed to enjoy being a kid and enjoy their youth. In the religious Muslim countries their kids are taught religious intolerance and hatred of other religions. However, when the time comes and the country needs it American kids will put down the toys and pickup a weapon to protect our country to the last man or woman. Democrats are very much as patriotic as Republicans and both will do everything needed to keep our shores safe. Terrorist don’t understand you can be of a different religious belief in America, but if you want to harm any Americans we all stand together. They just don’t get it.

[Daniel Webster speaks] What about the people that every other word is “actually”?  I figure unless you are a compulsive liar that everything you are telling me “actually” is the truth or it happened or is going to happen. Spend one day really listening to what people say and see if it doesn’t drive you crazy!


Poetry, pirates and love. After posting yesterday's missive, "The King's English," I saw quite a few man o' war birds scattered about. Years ago, while living on the street in Key West, I came to associate seeing one or more frigate birds (their other name) as a sure sign of impending spiritual attack . . .Sloan's Space

Now I have seen it all on this webpage.  It is time we name the asshole of the year.  Someone actually wrote in that FIRM "Did Squat".  I have seen some pretty ignorant postings here, but this one takes the cake.  This group took their own time to save those of us who own homes a lot of money.  Maybe the person who is so ungrateful for this act of kindness needs to move to an area that he or she can afford to live.  We all know the insurance rates in Monroe County are outrageous, but don't blame a group of volunteers for the fact that you can't afford to live in the Keys.  This posting was probably written by one of the people also complaining about free pizza yesterday.  What a complete ass.  On a closing note I want to thank FIRM for all the hard work and award them for a job well done.




Save the Polar Bears. There is an on-line form to make it real simple to help them. http://www.savebiogems.org/polar/

[Annoying ads continued] Extense? Ok, we have seen Bob and how he improves his entire life, including his golf game; by taking a male enhancement product. But there is something very shady about this Extense ad. Why do they repeatedly say: "This will enlarge that certain part of the male anatomy..."  I mean even "Dr. Stein" says: "That very special part of the male anatomy..."   When I go to the urologist he does not say: "Let's have a look at you special little part of your male anatomy."  What is preventing these people from saying 'penis'?  Are they crossing some AMA line?  Am I missing something? What guy would not like to enlarge his special place, huh?  Me, I want a bigger CENSORED.



[Redneck man's pick up lines] 1) Did you fart? ‘Cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

It is all so simple. Islam is the fastest growing religion because it covers all the bases for those who have nothing. If you live and die for the idea you will earn minimum wages forever and have all the chicks that you want in heaven.

Like all religions, if you buy in for the story then you can be expected to pay full price to those who write the rules. Like every organized group, whether it is your government or you church, if you divide them up you can get them to eat whatever you want and have sex the way you want them too! Enjoy the journey. In Islam, I understand that there are no innocents.


We had tiny black weevils in our grains that were stored in jars with rubber seals.

Stan Becher moved to Ecuador last year, bought a bar and got married.  Last I heard, he was back in the States and living in Indiana.  I haven't heard from him in a while.

I missed the free pizza, but I think it was a great thing to do and for that I will be back.  Thanks 2 for 20!



The maggots in your rice are Indian meal moths. If you are going to store grains (rice, flour, etc.) for any length of time put it in your freezer. . http://www.west-ext.com/indian_meal_moth.html

I hate to say "I told you so", But I told you so. California's Golden State Fence Co., which has a contract to build part of the United States' immigrant-impeding barrier on the Mexican border, agreed in December to pay fines totaling nearly $5 million because it had been employing illegal aliens.

[illegal Habitat campground] If all you say is true, why hasn't the county shut it down?  Do you actually believe the county would allow illegal waste to be dumped on-site?  I'm sure by now someone has called them on this. Sounds to me like some people have an axe to grind.  I was told someone, whom I do not know, vowed to get rid of Habitat for Humanity like they did D&J Industries.



Did you ever see a horse screw a bear. Then watch the Super Bowl.

[J. G. Wentworth ad] That cheesy guy on TV is an actor. There is a pack of lawyers; none named Wentworth, that are the real owners of this company. Hang on to your wallet.

[white maggots] You may be describing the Indianmeal Moth. http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/2000/2089.html



[Amazing power of makeup]  That last picture should have been of Condoleezza Rice.

I was not able to get a free pizza due to prior plans and quite frankly, I have money and do not mind paying. I quit ordering their pizzas months ago due to the lack of quality. Based on the posts that I have read, I will be ordering a pizza from 2 for 20 tonight and will pay for it. Kudos to Wayne for having the guts to pull something like this off. I am sure that I will enjoy my pizza tonight and it sounds like I may be a regular customer again.

[Ouch!] Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

I think Key West tourism will not suffer if Cuba opens. There are so many people who are reluctant to leave the USA on vacation that they will still come here.



Peyton
is a N’awlins god. I bet he gets some revenge for those Bears making it snow on those poor hometown boys.

[If the Keys are so great questioner]
How come Jimmy Buffett doesn't live here?  --He has a place in Key West
My relatives won't visit?  --They don't love you.
Why does it smell like spoiled eggs all the time?  --You must live on a canal loaded with sea grass.
Why does the water look like a sewer overflow near the shoreline?  --My water is nice and clean don't know where you live.
Why do I want to come back all the time? --It's paradise, you can't stay away. 

Why does the grass try to snake between my toes like an anaconda?  --To clean them out because they stink too.
How come there are no monkeys?  --They stink & throw their poop.
There is no sand?  --There is. You just have to find it.
The coconuts don't taste like coconut?  --It depends on the species, there are many.
No one can sell their house when they want to at the listed price?  --Ebb & flow of realty, nothing new.
Does anybody know the answers to these questions?  --I do.

Australian pines at Ft. Zack.  Apparently some bozo is trying to prevent the state from removing these environmentally destructive trees from the Key West state park because of issues with shade.  Helen Harrison has been one of the island's most outspoken protectors of the pines, even though their ability to damage and completely alter native ecosystems has been well documented.  The state, instead of immediately removing the invasive exotics, has agreed to a compromise which would provide for the removal of Australian pine trees to continue at an annual removal rate of 10 percent for the next 10 years until the pines are eradicated. But that apparently isn't good enough for the all-important shade lovers. Hmm, which is more important, shade or the environment? Let me think?  Ft Zack should follow the example of Bahia Honda state park. Look how beautiful it is today. Only about 15 or 20 years ago it was as biologically polluted with Australian pines as is Ft. Zack. Now native plants abound, as well as do wildlife that has evolved with and depend on natives.

[Update on maggots in rice in pantry] Last night I caught a moth in there which I strongly suspect is the culprit. Also, I caught another maggot and put both in jars. When I awoke this morning I saw that the maggot has spun a transparent cocoon around itself and is beginning the pupa stage. I will update you all as events unfold, as I'm sure you are all riveted to your seats in anticipation.

I wonder how many of the people that took advantage of the free pizza tipped the staff.  Thanks 2 for $20, your staff was very polite in the onslaught.

What happened to Funny Fridays? (Ed: Our humor editor took a few weeks off to edit the Conch Rag and save the Chart Room from peanut-ious slander.)

[Maximum decibel level] My mistake; after rereading the ordinance again it was (60) dBA not sixty-five like I said before.  The ordinance is about four pages long and is even more restrictive than you would believe. It can be read at http://library4.municode.com/mcc/DocView/11270/1/163/169  Pay special attention to section 13-52 Definitions items 1 and 2 covering unreasonable noise.  Is that detailed enough for you? 

[Why can't I get The Keynoter/Sundays newspaper info on my computer] The site is a PDFed version of the print edition. When you are at the home page, click on the cover image. Then you'll see a pop-up on the left index. Click the date of the edition you want. Then click on each page individually to see it. For the edition of Jan. 7, the pages on the Miami Blue and host plants are pages 16 and 17.



[White Maggots] No, they were not there when you purchased the rice. Clean up your house.

[To the person with property issues] Those laws were probably in effect when you bought the property. I bought stock and the company went out of business; can I get government to give me what I lost? I mean the people who waited to long to build want government to pay them. Hey, we made an investment and lost--get over it.

[Maggots]  Poor rotating of stock or they were infested at packing warehouse.  Bring them back WD. They will refund your money, also make them aware.  How long did you have these products on your shelf?

Friday night at 9:00 pm I stopped by Dion’s to pick up a last minute container of milk for my mashed potatoes. Guess what? Jersey Boy (always is wearing a hockey jersey) was smiling through a locked door passing his arm across his neck indicating “I am closed”.

I was under the impression Dion’s just recently went back to regular hours according to there recent notice in the store. Either the employees are making there own schedules or Dion’s cannot keep personal there for us not to have to cross the highway to Tom Thumb to do business. I am sure I am not the only one frustrated by this. Mr Dion, what’s up?

Piper Road Spring Band rules. The Spider Ranch lives on in our hearts. Please give me a call guys. Nick 296 7374.

I loved the (Really disgruntled pizza lover's) posting on Thursday.  Too funny!

To my friends who think this administration is the root of all evil: Try to start a business. Just try. Open a lemonade stand. Be determined.  You will be humiliated, battered, punished, penalized, over-regulated, over-licensed, condescended to, vilified, criminalized, coerced, strong-armed, and driven to defeat by the county and state. You will become a Republican overnight.

And to the hopeless socialists who keep spewing lies and drivel.  Business, commerce, capitalism, private enterprise - pay for absolutely everything. Do you not get that? It amazes me that that fact is never articulated. You never want to look at how wealth is generated; only chatter and howl about how it should be distributed. A vote for the left is a vote for socialism. It is a simple, glaring fact. Socialism kills capitalism. The hard working employees and entrepreneurs of small business suffer and diminish under socialism; and quality of life diminishes.

If you're a government employee, which is likely, please disregard. You are, and will always be hopelessly entrenched, without a clue as to the risks of starting a business (Unless you've already tried, and bombed. Just understand, without capitalism, you guys are fleas on a dead dog.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Saturday January 27, 2007

 

Friday January 26, 2006

I’m often baffled by the disdain many Keys people have for the environment. Instead of revering the preservationist they are sometimes looked down on as some sort of modern hippy freaks. There are a few people who try to build or cut down whatever they want in the name of personal freedom, but yet have no sense of community. The community is the thing that sets the standards for any area. The majority rules. If we wanted all those exceptions some people ask for we would not have passed these laws an ordinances. The community has to draw the line somewhere. These people who hate the deer and the trees are wrong.

Do we live in the United States of America?   Do we, as American land owners, have any rights left? I just came from court with a code violation. I own an adjacent vacant lot and have parked my truck on it for about six years.  Someone turned me into code enforcement, now I cannot park my truck on my lot even though I own the lot and the truck has a Florida license and insurance.

If you own a vacant lot that is not contiguous with the lot that your house is on, you cannot park a boat trailer or vehicle or use it for accessory use such as a shed or anything.  But you can get a building permit for a house (Ha, ha).

Also, did you know if you want a building permit to do anything to your house and have a downstairs enclosure, even though it is permitted, code enforcement has to inspect it to make sure it is legal and doesn't have any furniture stored there.  Is this is to make sure you are in compliance or look for another thing they can find to make your life miserable.




Elle’s back with the Keys Entertainment Schedule!
Bulletin Board

Thank you 2 for 20 Pizza!  Your pizza was delicious and your employees dealt with the onslaught very courteously.  We'll be back.

[Former pizza shop owner] Did you own Mountain Mikes Pizza? They had the best pie in the Keys when they were open. We would bike from KW every Saturday just to get one and hit the No Name Pub when us locals were preferred customers year round. Awwww, the good old days.

[Historical Reenactment today] Bahia Honda State Park Today, January 26 at 1pm.  Step back in time to the early 1900s. Did you ever wonder what it would be like to ride a train on the Overseas Railway? Join a ranger at the Sand and Sea Nature Center and they will guide you back in time. Meet Mr. Henry Flagler and other travelers from that era and learn about their unique experiences.

Thanks to 2 for 20. The free pizza was good. If they can keep up the quality they have gained a loyal customer back.  I haven’t eaten there in about eight months due to the quality I received on two occasions.  Wednesday night they made up for it.  Thanks Wayne and staff.




ABATE's Chile Cook-off this Sunday
Bulletin Board
[Missed the boat] Two for twenty pulled a good one over on there "friends of Big Pine Key". What a joke about the free pizza. Call at 5 and only 50 people get your pizza after 7pm.

This is Jozeppi here, some of you may know me as Joe the Plumber's son. I live now in Jacksonville and want to come back to the Keys. If anyone out there knows where I can find work and accommodation please get back to me at BETHS109@AOL.COM  or 904-262-2609. I miss you all very dearly.



[Word police go sciolistic] You're such a grammar Nazi, but you don't know how to spell “goddamn”. That's damn funny!

[Pizza] I would like to say to the population that tried to cash in on a pizza that have never even tried the place before, but decided to take to take advantage of the free pizza: get a life!  Sorry you missed out.  How many free pizzas do you expect him to give away?  I am sure he never counted on the buzzards that would be on the steps waiting for a free hand out when they were capable of ordering at full price at any time, but were too cheap to do so.

[Conch Rag ® Editor-in-Chief Throws in the Towel] Yep. Wacky McCrackers wins this battle. He will be on time for his early-bird dinner on Saturday afternoon because there will be no fight to be fought. He wins for the following reasons:
~ I am a grown-up, (the age of 63 does not necessarily make you a grown-up, apparently).
~ Fear of strength fueled by crazy. (That's why it's so difficult to squeeze those asylum patients into the whacko-wagon).
~ The Chart Room doesn't open until 4, (you apparently haven't been there since whatever woman, [or dude] broke your heart there).
~ 'Puttin' yer dukes up' is no substitute for Viagra, my friend.
~ I'm not sure I can 'slap-fight' as well as you.
~ I am a grown-up.
So now, you can brag to all your beloved stuffed animals that you scared off an anonymous poster on a website. Kudos, Mr. McCrackers!

I would like to applaud Wayne and crew at 2 for 20 for the delicious pizza I received from the customer appreciation night.   I will be back for more.   

Why can't I get The Sundays newspaper info on my computer? Thanks anyway for the Miami Blue/Blackbead link, but it didn't work for me. It only shows me the front page of the Keynoter/Sundays and I can't progress any further. And what the heck is that hand all about, instead of an arrow cursor?

Au Contraire, isn't it nice you live in a country where you can trash young American lives in Iraq today as you did in Vietnam yesterday? If you truly care about our military, fight to get them home and only send them off when we are really threatened.  A 72% American majority feels the same.


It appears that the editor put a question mark after the names of Mister Rogers and Captain Kangaroo in a posting after a list of American heroes.  Many people don't know that both Captain Kangaroo and Mister Rogers were both bonafied war heroes.  The Captain in WW2 and Mr. Rogers in Vietnam. 

[Free pizza tonight] You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

If the Keys are so great just why are you here?




My
wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.

[great pizza 2 for 20] The other night I ordered 20 wings and a 2 liter bottle of soda. After the delivery person left I found they had mistakenly only given me only 10 wings. I called them and Wayne answered the phone. I told him my plight, he apologized profusely and told me he would resend the order right away. He replaced the whole order not just the 10 wings, I never expected that. Good luck Wayne, a man who know the value of his customers. You have all my pizza business from now on.

The Amazing Power of Makeup

[2 for 20 pizza] We were going to a get together for about 30 friends.  I picked up one of your pizzas and so did another couple.  No one there had ever had one of your pizzas before.  Everyone raved about it and said that your place is where they will go from now on.  It was wonderful, but, I was surprised at the people that didn't tip.  We certainly will be seeing you soon. Thanks again for the best pizza on the island.




A ring of gangsters who traded in the bodies of women they murdered, selling them as brides to keep dead bachelors happy in the afterlife, has been arrested in China. Ghost brides are murdered to give dead bachelors a wife in the afterlife - World - Times Online

Dear Editor, Shame, shame, shame on you for eating a free pizza and then letting some loser go off on the pizza man with some pretty mean stuff and you don't even print their email. Yet some lady was exposed for saying what? Something smells and not like pizza!

[maximum decibel level of sound leaving your property is 65 decibels] Could you post that ordinance for me? I just can’t believe it until I see it. How about boats, cars, lawn mowers, weed whackers and other loud equipment? Do all devices have to be so quite that I can barley hears them? It just does not make sense and I only believe things on here that are supported by details.

Three Organization Yard Sale Saturday, January 27. Giant 8:00am-2:00pm At the Big Pine Charter School Friends and Volunteers of the Refuge, Key Deer Protection Alliance, and Big Pine Key Civic Association yard sale. Classified Ads  Yard Sales

Thanks 2 for 20. Don't pay any attention to the disgruntled person who called after 5 for a free pizza, they didn't read the Coconut Telegraph Wed edition that clearly said to call ahead starting at 10:30 am. We all enjoyed the Pizza and we will be back!

I had three thin white maggots about one-sixteenth inch long crawling on my shelf when I opened my kitchen cupboard. After some searching, I noticed very small white frays in that shelf, and found that I had these maggots and empty pupae inside of both Thrifty Maid white rice and inside a bag of Thrifty Maid brown rice. Both plastic bags had been sealed tightly after opening with twist ties, so I am guessing that the eggs had to be there when I purchased the rice. I also found some empty pupa casings inside a box of Kraft macaroni, but very few. I did an online search without any definitive answers. I often see small moths flying around the pasta isle in WD, too often to be coincidence. I am wondering what's going on. What is the source of these infestations?

[Free Pizza] A perfect example of "no good deed goes unpunished". The former pizza owner hit the nail on the head. Can you believe the nerve of some of these losers? Nothing from nothing leaves nothing, which is all you should expect for free. It sounds like the place gave double what they expected, which sounds more than generous. Yet they still cry! Enjoy Paradise.



[Lucky bad driver] His truck left the road, traveling from right to left. He flipped end-over-end, across the culvert outlet and landed on the left side of it.

Those wonderful souls at the illegal Habitat campground, up on illegal blocks, dumping illegal sewerage, with their illegal laundry room only seem to show up in the winter! I’ll bet they show up in the Colorado, Alaska, Outer Banks or upstate New York Habitat campgrounds in the summer. (The average seasonal rent at the few campgrounds left in the Keys is over $1000 a month.)

[FIRM did squat] $13.59 per $1000 X 500,000 dollar valued home = $6800 windstorm bill. Gee, what a deal. The FIRM girls need to go back to cooking for their husbands or their girl friends, whatever shoe fits them (probably the latter). -- Govwatch05@netscape.com

Random thoughts from a not-able-to-put-one-foot-in-front-of-another kind of mind:
1. God Bless 2 for 20 pizza. What you did was truly great and lots of us really enjoyed your pizza. You will reap untold benefits from this. And to the idiots who grumbled because they got left out: if you stoners would get up before 5 in the afternoon and actually pay attention once in a while then you might be able to grab some of the good things that life has to offer. Jeez, get with the program!
2. To the Darlin' looking for Stan Becher here is a reluctantly given tip: go to Zaba.com and look up his name (and the name of anyone in the country). Stan seems to be alive and well in Big Pine Key. The info available in Zaba.com is truly scary, right down to a map of where anyone lives. I hate the internet, but then, I still hate disco.
3. To the Shorty contribitor...'A pimp like me...is you feeling me old man? I laughed my tookus off. Well done.

God, I love this bar...er...website. Keep 'em coming, Ed.

Boy, Ed, you got the name right. What a bunch of whiners. I was at the 2 for 20 pizza place at 6:00 to pick up my pizza as I called ahead and they said you had to make an appointment. I will admit it was a zoo (a big pine loser’s convention) and they were 20 minutes behind. I did leave and said, “Oh, well.” But it was a nice gesture and I see how it could be a logistic nightmare as I have never heard of anything like this before. Give the guy a break, he tried.

[The Chart Room--Change the place or close it down] Who put you in charge?  If you don’t like the place, stay the hell out.  They certainly don’t want you there either.  I always stop at The Chart Room when I’m in Key West and have always enjoyed it, especially during happy hour.  Go home, stay home and leave the rest of us to enjoy life.  You apparently don’t.

The Charter School on Big Pine was nice enough to let Habitat use school property to store there trailers and some of their junk. Habitat destroyed the school's gate and fence as they went in and out with the big trailers. Why don't Habitat fix what they wrecked with all that free help? Tax payers are tired of being suckers for habitat. --jimyoung@bellsouth.net

[Sports fan unedited] All I'ze gott's to say iz,,, Go Colts !!  open up dat can of ole' whoop butt on dem unknowing Bar' z Lets see,  its math time,,,,,,  Florida State is to Colts  as   Ohio State is to,, Chicago  ,, yeah,, thats it,,, time fer a whoopin boyz,,, bring your unbrellas, cause theres a storm comin,,,,   Peyton is GOD!    hee  hee hee, ha ha ha , hee hee hee,

[Pizza] I can't sit back on this one.  So you didn’t get your free pizza, boo-hoo, you poor things. How can you possibly complain because you didn't get something for free?I didn’t either, so what. Move on, get over it.  What 2 for 20 did was a very generous thing. They underestimated the response they would get, they probably feel lousy about it, and now you freeloaders bitch and moan and threaten them? You are trash. I hope none of you can breed. Man, I just don't get how people can think like you. You must live a miserable existence.

Kudos 2 for 20. You were most generous.

Some answers to your questions: How come Jimmy Buffett doesn't live here? (He lived here for 20 years. It's a free country...he can live wherever he wants.)
My relatives won't visit? (When was the last time you cleaned house?)
Why does it smell like spoiled eggs all the time? (See previous answer.)
Why does the water look like a sewer overflow near the shoreline? (Can you say "septic tank"?)
Why do I want to come back all the time? (I get the same message from that bean burrito I ate last night.)
Why does the grass try to snake between my toes like an anaconda? (When was the last time an anaconda snaked between your toes?)
How come there are no monkeys? (There are no true monkeys in the Keys, only close relatives.)
There is no sand? (Early settlers made sandpaper and exhausted the supply.)
The coconuts don't taste like coconut? (You're not supposed to eat the husk.)
No one can sell their house when they want to at the listed price? (check out webuyuglyhouses.com)

3 Cockatiels free to good home.  Rescued by Maya - Exotic & Wildlife Rescue. They do not come with a cage so you will have to have the whole set up.  Serious inquiries only please, you will have your home inspected and have to sign a contract. Contact Michele 305-849-1270   A donation to Maya upon adoption would be appreciated.   Classified Ads  Free

I had complained about 2 for 20 pizza before on here and the owner personally responded to me.  I gave them another shot last night for the free pizza giveaway, I read the board and saw that the manager asked for us to call in ahead of time. I knew this was a sign of trouble and I expected not to receive a free pizza.  I called in at 11:20 on Wednesday morning and they put me on a list for a pick up at 5:45.  I showed up about 10 minutes early. There was a mob in the lobby of the store and although there was a bit of a wait (about 25 mins) they delivered as promised. 

The pizza was fantastic, something I never expected from a free pie. I did not mind the wait at all. The staff was extremely friendly, they kept us informed the whole time as to how long it would be before I received my pie; and ill be honest, it was a complete madhouse in there.  I can’t imagine the work that the employees put in to pull that off. Kudos to all of them.  I would like to also personally thank the man who was tossing the pizzas, he was covered from head to toe with flour, but didn’t stop for one minute--wow he was impressive. I don’t think I have ever seen someone spin a pizza like that.  Thanks also go out to Wayne, I would never have attempted anything crazy like that! You always are going to upset some people, but as for my experience it was an A plus.  Again a wait of 20 minutes in that mad house was completely understandable and anyone who complains about that needs to have their head examined.  Thanks again, you have a customer for life.  Feel free to post my email address so I can take the abuse from all the Whiners on here for giving an honest opinion.

[See, things are so much better since we took over] At the December ceremony in Najaf, Iraq, in which U.S. commanders turned over control of the city, Iraqi commandos took the stage carrying frogs and a rabbit and soon were eating the animals raw in a show of feral manliness. As U.S. personnel looked on apprehensively, one Iraqi cut open the rabbit's belly, screamed, snatched its heart in his teeth, and passed the bloody carcass down the line, with each commando taking a bite. Locals said that Saddam Hussein's special forces used to do similar things, but with snakes, dogs, cats and even wolves.

Kudos to Wayne the new owner of 2 for 20 Pizza for his free pizza night on Wednesday. I was not able to take part due to work obligations. It seem to me that there are some ingrates living within our midst. Come on folks, do you realize how much time Wayne and his staff put into the giveaway ? Not to mention the money. And yet there are some of you who bitch and moan. Unbelievable. Sure, Wayne will reap the rewards of the publicity in the long run. Nothing wrong with that; it's called business. But to accuse the guy of misleading or false advertising is simply wrong. He was trying to do something nice for us, and all you people can do is call him every name in the book.  What are you, high? The offer was for the first 100 people, and you had to order you pizza  by 4PM is not misleading. It was advertised on local Radio stations ad nausum.  Those were the rules of the giveaway. As it turns out, he wound up giving away over 260 pizzas. Anyway, if you liked Wayne's pizza, show him your appreciation by patronizing his establishment the next time you're in the mood for pizza. If you didn't like his pizza, or think Wayne's a bad guy, then just go somewhere else. It's as simple as that. There's no need to get you shorts in a bunch.  He's a good guy and puts out a good product. And no whiners and moaners, I don't work for him. Yes whiners and moaners, he is a friend.

The winds brought many Portugese Man-O-War in and I had the gift of observing a Man-O-War fish interact with them while on a lazy kayak drift.  What an incredible thing to see; the vibrant colors of the Man-O-War and the almost electric cobalt blue of the commensal fish.  I would have given my kingdom for my camera. 

I want to say thank you for the free Pizza from 2 for 20 Pizza's new owner's during their customer appreciation night.  The Pizza was excellent and I really enjoyed it.

Judging from all the pizza comments, 2 for 20 got the customers they want to keep and got rid of the ones no one wants to deal with. It looks like they won all around. I have ordered there before and will again.


[Cuba] Have we been thinking about the inevitable changes that will evolve when Castro is gone?  In a conversation the other night a friend projected that it will bring a lot more tourist traffic our way as Key West is the closest point to Cuba and since gambling  is legal there, it may become a gambling mecca once it’s doors become open.  We also wondered if it may actually diminish our tourist income because they may be spending their money there instead of here.  We also wondered if inevitably gambling might be made legal here to compete for those dollars?

Isn’t it interesting that many people wrote to say they enjoyed their free pizza from 2 for 20 and thanked the owner for the generosity?  Then there were the ever present simple minded, knuckle dragging, obviously uneducated whiners who not only complained that they missed out, but had to resort to a name calling, vulgarity laced diatribe.  You can usually tell what kind of mentality you are dealing with by the number times a person uses the “F” word in every sentence while engaged in infantile name calling.  

[Annoying TV ads]  Is there anybody else out there that just wants to smack this guy that does the "JG Wentworth" ad?  I mean does this guy reek of money or what?  The first time he was on he was wearing this gaudy silk suit and someone must have told him that he was over dressed so he toned it down with an outfit that just makes me laugh. "It's your money, use it when you want to, etc."  Well, gee it is my money and you want it to be your money, duh! I mean dude, hire someone at least that we can believe. Oh, and lose that shirt will you?

Boy, who did not see the parade of morons coming on the heel of 2 for 20's bold free pizza giveaway? Firstly, I commend the place for having the nads to offer their product for free, I had a pizza shop or two and obviously they had confidence in their product and felt if they could get some folks to give it a try, they could pick up some much needed customers.

They had to overcome the poor reputation the place had.  Secondly, I read on this site very clearly the day before that the owner recommended people call during the day, anticipating the huge response they would receive. Of course all the whining buffoons did not see that post. Chances are the ones that cried the loudest were not ever going to call them again regardless and just wanted their freebie. Of course they had to limit the number of pies they could give because the dough has to be made, balled, proofed and stored before it can be pressed out and made into a pizza.

Obviously the whiners have never owned their own business and lacked the initiative to ever consider it an option, but would rather feed off someone else taking a risk and worrying about the security of their job. Call the attorney general? Go ahead; they need a good laugh every now and then.

So big kudos to Wayne and company for putting it out there. I have not tried your product and have been loyal to a competitor even without a free sample, I applaud your effort and will be sure to give it a try in the near future. If you weigh out the ad costs vs. labor and materials, all I can say is, “bravo dude!”  For all you foul mouthed losers that complained and probably even wanted it delivered; there is an old cliché "There ain't no free lunch, baby."


[If the Keys are so great list] The answer to every single question is easy:  Seagrass.

[2 for 20 Pizza] No pizza anxiety here. I paid for mine. It was worth it both in quality and peace of mind. Amazing, the anger of those that didn't get something for free. There is no free lunch, never was, never will be.

My dream is for my kid to grow up to become a great Lawyer, just like Andy Tobin.  This Attorney stands up for people and I hope he runs for public office one day. I also hope that he's rolling in the dough and stays in The Keys. What a good guy!








 

The King's English. "Good evening Sloan, I am sorry to disappoint you, however I do not understand why a obviously intelligent person or persons find the need to curse when they have such a command of the English language." Sloan's Space

There’s nothing patriotic about putting American troop’s lives in between religious fanatics in another country.  Sorry, but “foolish” is the only word that fits that action.  After 4 1/2 years Iraqis won’t stand up and take control so to hell with them.  It takes an American Soldier less then a year to become "field ready" depending on his or her MOS. It shouldn’t take Iraqis 4 years.  The terrorist don’t go to Advances Infantry Training school training for years. The Iraqis could very well take care of them in their own neighborhoods but they won’t.  They don’t want us there.  One more try at making them stand up then screw them.  It was a foolish venture from the beginning.



Let me see, Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman, gee, Manning or Grossman?   I think unless they throw a few "mini-Ditkas" out there, Da Bears are finished. Got the fork ready?

[RV's at Habitat Landing] The intent on the RV's at Habitat Landing was to have a place for volunteers from out of the area to stay as part of the Hurricane Wilma recovery.  It was never intended to be an RV trailer park.  A quick call to Habitat will confirm this.   872-4856



Spaghetti Dinner tonight at the Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School
Bulletin Board

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Friday January 26, 2006

 

Thursday January 25, 2007 (Free Pizza Edition)

[From Wayne the 2 for 20 Pizza Man] We would like to thank everyone who came out for our free pizza night.  We would also like to apologize to some of you who were unable to partake in the offer because of the overwhelming response.  We had expected to give away between 100 and 150 pizzas, in the end we gave away 268.  Everyone who called before 4pm received a pizza.  We did run behind around six pm and we apologize for any delays; we never imagined the wonderful response this offer would create.  To everyone:  We will do it again next year, and we will be prepared for a huge turnout.  We again thank everyone who came in and hope that your experience was positive and we hope to service you in the future.

If the Keys are so great…
How come Jimmy Buffett doesn't live here?
My relatives won't visit?
Why does it smell like spoiled eggs all the time?
Why does the water look like a sewer overflow near the shoreline?
Why do I want to come back all the time?
Why does the grass try to snake between my toes like an anaconda?
How come there are no monkeys?
There is no sand?
The coconuts don't taste like coconut?
No one can sell their house when they want to at the listed price?
Does anybody know the answers to these questions?

[Real passage from the Koran 9:11] This is a complete hoax.  You are completely wrong about this quote and it does not take much to look it up.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/quran911.asp Too bad about that.  Although I am no Koran advocate, I believe that it is better to fight them on the basis of truth and fact rather than BS.

But here's a question I wonder about: Why is Islam the fastest growing religion in the world? I can't figure that out.  It makes no sense to me.

[Smoggy Latin-American cities] Yesterday’s nostalgic writer reminded me of last year when I was in Honduras and couldn’t find a woman. My cab driver graciously consented to let me rent his girlfriend for a few hours. She wouldn’t go to my hotel room because she was afraid that someone would recognize her and she didn’t want that. So we went to a sex motel. It was really something and quite scary. You drive into a one car garage and shut the door then go in to the adjacent room with the usual mirrored ceilings and porno on the tube. There was a low stainless steel slide out drawer in the lower part of one wall (just like a bank’s drive through transaction drawer). You open it and stick your face in and yelled “dos cervezas” (my only Spanish) and the drawer slides in and then a minute latter slides out again with two tepid cans of beer. The rest is private.



Kudos to FIRM for getting our windstorm insurance rates to stay at $13.59 per $1000. Without FIRM we’d all be screwed.

Thanks 2 for 20 pizza, it was the best pizza I ever had!

Atheist: Beware of Muslims and Christians.
Christian: Beware of Muslims and Atheists.
Muslims: Kill all the others.

[A condensed History of the World] Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer, and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of...Long Winded Tomes
To the Conch Rag guy: I’ll meet you at noon on Saturday to settle this like men!

Thanks for the great pizza 2 for 20. Good luck to the new owners.

[Warning]  Before dealing with Southern Furniture on Big Coppitt you should know they don’t stand behind their products’ warranty. If anyone else is having trouble with them especially about those bad mattresses (Europa’s) please contact us so we combine forces and stop his unethical business practices. --keysdivers@bellsouth.net

[No free Pizza]  Apparently there was some very fine print.  I called at about four thirty and discovered it was too late to order the advertised pie.  I gave the owner a call on his cell as he suggested in his post on Monday.  He said the post said it was only for the first 100 pizzas.  Funny, I looked at the post and that part must be in very tiny print because I couldn’t see it. --kmajma@bellsouth.net

[overly opinionated Editor] Yea, your social life has gotten so good you still have enough time to get here and whine.


Mr Tech Ed. What was that free antivirus and firewall software that you recommended sometime ago? I can't remember stuff anymore. Going fishing…Lousy Tech Support

[(Citizen’s) Sunday supplement, Paula Cannon had a beautiful article regarding the Blackbead] That is the Keynoter's Sunday supplement, Keys Sunday, available in racks, stores and inside the Miami Herald on Sundays. Here is the link to Paula's story and photos: http://www.keyssunday.com/edition/edition/?haspdf=1

Beware!  The door-to-door magazine sales are back.  Last year many people were scammed by them.  If a young twenties-something kid from out of state comes to your door claiming to be selling magazines to earn points for a trip, do not buy from him.  It is a scam.  Get a description and call the Sheriff's Office.  Door to door sales is illegal in Monroe County.

The F word. I was thanked by a Keys man named "Fuktawanda" in dreams last night, for writing about this today. And in case anyone is wondering how I felt last night, I felt poisoned. I always feel poisoned when I'm dealing with other people's manure. Manure. Just doesn't sound right, does it? Sloan's Space

[Free Pizza] I know the dirt bags will be coming out of the woodwork for the free pizza at 2 for 20.  I'll bet money that some might even complain because they had to wait too long, or because the pizza was too well done, or not done enough, or because there weren't enough toppings on it, or because it was too hot that day, or because it had too much sauce, or because it didn't have enough, and some might complain that it didn't come with a free soda, and some might complain that they couldn't get it delivered,  etc..  If you give some people an inch, they will try to take the circumference of the earth!

I know this because I owned a pizzeria in Big Pine for many years and you just wouldn't believe what people are capable of. 

I wish you well 2 for 20.  Good Luck.  If I were competing with you, I would have matched your offer and probably thrown in a 2 liter!

BowWow Shorty like mine: I am told that a shorty is ones off-spring. Bow Wow - Shorty Like Mine feat Chris Brown (Official Video)

[This war has nothing to do with oil] When are you going to get it? Iraq produces about 2% of the worlds oil and we aren’t there for that. Why has no one mentioned the fact that this idiot Saddam was in violation of the cease fire agreement that he signed in 1991 so we wouldn't blow his ass away? Why has no one mentioned the fact that when Billy boy was in office Saddam thumbed his nose at us and told the U.N. weapons inspectors to get out? No weapons of Mass Destruction? Yeah, right. Check Syria. Check Iran. History will show that George W. Bush is the only one that got it and fully understood what’s going on. Yep, lets pull out of Iraq and elect Hillary. We will stop saying God Bless America and we will start saying “God please save us.”

[Free pizza tonight]  The other side of the story is the offer was good only for the first one hundred people, and you had to call before 4:00pm. I find this offer a little misleading.

[real passage from the Koran…]  “Four score and 3000 years ago..”




Are you even looking at your food
?

[New old 7 mile bridge] It is not worth our thirty-million for your morning walk.

Lonnie the weatherman got married the weekend before last and is on his honeymoon.


This free little plug might be just the thing our editor needs to keep track of the date. AlfaSoft Research Labs: AlfaClock - taskbar clock (tray clock) enhancement, full featured atomic clock, talking clock, alarm ..

2006 State of the Union
The road of victory is the road that will take our troops home. As we make progress on the ground, and Iraqi forces increasingly take the lead, we should be able to further decrease our troop levels -- but those decisions will be made by our military commanders, not by politicians in Washington, D.C.

2007 State of the Union
So we're deploying reinforcements of more than 20,000 additional soldiers and Marines to Iraq. The vast majority will go to Baghdad, where they will help Iraqi forces to clear and secure neighborhoods, and serve as advisers embedded in Iraqi Army units. With Iraqis in the lead, our forces will help secure the city by chasing down the terrorists, insurgents, and the roaming death squads. And in Anbar Province, where al Qaeda terrorists have gathered and local forces have begun showing a willingness to fight them, we're sending an additional 4,000 United States Marines, with orders to find the terrorists and clear them out.

So what happened?

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

What’s with Govwatch’s Guiterrez? Does he hate everything? Does he see only the bad in the world? What a sorry soul and a boar.
-–usa33043@yahoo.com

[work for the betterment of nature and the earth I am met with constant rejection] I know how you feel. There are those that think trying to save the planet is idealistic. They don’t see the need for it. They feel that they should be able to do whatever they like with their property regardless of the impact on others.

[Disgruntled Pizza lover] Those a**holes at 2 for 20 said that at 5:05 pm they had given away all the pizza they were going to give away. The ads and submissions on this site said, “Everyone” not 100, not 50, not 200--everyone! "To anyone that calls between 5 and 8." I am anyone, what the f**k happened to my pizza? F**K 2 for 20, they suck! I'll never eat their shitty pizza again!

P.S. That was false advertising and will be forwarded to the proper authorities, a**holes. -- mail4jimbob@yahoo.com


Free Ping Pong Games - Play Ping Pong at Candystand.com

[disappointed Pizza lover] To say the least, I am disappointed. I called 2-4-20 at 5:06 and they were full up. What?  There was no mention of a cap or limit of these free pizzas. Nor was it advertised that one could pre-order. On their link it says “To anyone that calls between 5 and 8.” It looks like false advertising.

Perhaps if Wayne had said, “up to 200 pizzas” or “the first 10 callers. I think “from 5 to 8 pm” was a bit misleading.  Feel free to publish my email if you find this slanderous, I stand behind these words. A public explanation would be nice too, Wayne. It was a nice gesture, but I think poorly thought out. -- oceanelle@gmail.com

[real passage form the Koran] According to Snopes, you sir are a moron. Did you really think to pass off that nonsense here or are you just so dim that you really believe it? Anyone can verify it here: http://www.snopes.com/politics/war/quran911.asp

...For it is written that a son of a Redneck would awaken a fearsome reader. And the wrath of Snopes would be felt throughout the land of the Big Pine Key. And lo, while some of the Bubbas trembled in despair the Conchs rejoiced for the wrath of the Snopes cleansed the island of Rednecks; and there was pizza.

[Shorty Like Mine] In case you're serious, "Shorty" is now teen culture slang for "girl." So, if your gold-toothed, saggy-drawered, crooked ball-capped, teenaged grandson wants a girl to be his steady, he would politely ask her father "A pimp like me gotta get wit a fine shorty like dat--is you feelin me old man?"

[Habitat Landing RV park] My wife and I have given both time and money to Habitat. My understanding was a park was to be put there. Now I see hook-ups for RVs. Now I read they will tear that out. Did the money I gave to Habitat pay for that? If so, its the last dime they will get from me and if Monroe County paid for it…why? The money spent on that mess could have and should have been spent on the park.

Because of all the negative posts here bashing 2 for $20 Pizza, I never tried them before.  When I saw their free pizza promotion, I thought "what do I have to loose?"  It was one of the best pizzas I ever had.  Great hand-tossed crust with very fresh ingredients!  The kitchen was very clean and efficient.  I'll be back!  I wonder if some of the negative posters were the people picking up their free pizza and leaving without a tip or a thank you?

[Really disgruntled pizza lover] Those lying motherf*****s at 2 for $20! After several days of touting free pizza for "anyone that orders between 5 an 8," at 5:20 pm I was told that the offer was over because they had given away all the free pizzas they were going to. What kind of bulls**t is that? That constitutes false advertising, I intend to contact the State Attorney’s office and I urge others to do so as well. All the advertising I saw said that "Anyone" could get some, not 1 or 2 or even 1,000 people--it said "anyone!" The only other thing I have to say is f**k 2 for 20 and if they were the last s**t hole pizza place in the world I would never, ever again order from those lying bastards! F**k you 2 for $20! I hope everyone boycotts those lying f**ks and they go out of business. We don't need lying sacks of s**t like them around here.

Anyone know the whereabouts of my dear friend Stan Becher?  I moved away from KW 12 years ago and haven't seen him since.  I’m coming for the weekend and would love to saddle up next to him in a local bar somewhere and say, “Hello darlin'.”  Any ideas where he might be hanging out?


While yes, I am an s.o.b. and own a pink house, let me be clear that all people who have pink houses are not s.o.b.'s

Dear Ed: We are still rolling on the floor laughing about the picture of Bill Clinton

[I will only respect those that go AWOL to Canada] Isn't it nice you live in a free country where you can spew such trash as you did in that post?


You know there is a lot to be said for the founding fathers allowing only landowners to vote.  That would mean those who worked for and struggled to keep the land and know what its like to have something would have enough life experience to vote.

Your right to blare loud music ends at your property line.  At your property line the maximum decibel level of sound leaving your property is 65 decibels, or about normal speaking volume.  After that you are imposing your likes and taste on others. 

Thank you 2 for 20. You are the best! I wanted to let you know that the free pizza was generous, and was one of the best pizzas that I've ever had.

The RVs at the habitat warehouse are used to house long term volunteers. Many of these wonderful souls come from hundreds of miles away to spend their time helping to re-build our island. Not ‘a one of them is paid for their efforts, so maybe next time you see a habitat bus in your area stop by and pick up a hammer.

[unpleasant experience of a drunk hitting on me] I know why your e-mail address was printed!  That smelly, biker dude is actually the editor of bigpinekey.com

[want to work for the betterment of nature and the earth I am met with constant rejection] Go hug a tree we don't care. I swear if I see you I will not reject you.  Just because we ignore you as being "off the grid" you can do the same with the haves and ignore them. Be happy and do what you want and live your life as you wish.  I'm going to go fish till I can't hold a pole and am darn thankful that I am able.



Here is another table I made from the dying slash pines here on the island.

[weatherman] I think Lonnie was offered in job with a  NYC station.  It had nothing to do with his getting married.  The two events just happened to crop up at the same time.

[Daniel Webster Speaks part II]- Why do some people repeatedly use the phrase "if you will..." in their conversations?  Politicians and other people trying to impress are usually the ones saying it. I like to stop them and ask "if I will what"  That stops them cold. (Ed: 50% of submissions begin with: Well, Hey, Just or So.)

I'm really glad someone pointed out the spy plane incident with China.  I have to disagree about the President doing nothing.  Under those circumstances, we avoided a military conflict with the world's largest Army.  Plus, I don't think the contact between the planes was intentional.  After all, the Chinese pilot did get killed.  It was not an act of terrorism.  No Americans were harmed in that incident.  But,  kudos to the poster for a mature response. 

I just went to 2 for 20 and got my free Pizza. I had to wait a while, but, man, was it worth it! That was a great Pizza. You guys have a new customer for life.

As for the person who just had to make the "foolish mindset" comment, you are not all-knowing.  A person is not "foolish" if they disagree with you.  By the way, I never said I was a huge Bush supporter.  I am just very patriotic and have a problem with being attacked and not retaliating.




Survey results.
ABC News: Should Crying Kids Be Kicked Off Planes?  Tell AirTran thanks for telling parents to control their bratty kids! AirTran Airways - Contact Us

[money hording, energy wasting, selfish human being] Now here is the perfect Democrat description of any American who has used the education that the American taxpayers are giving all of us free and with a lot of hard work accumulated homes, vehicles, stock portfolios and let us not forget paying hundreds of thousands of dollars of taxes now themselves to afford the next generations the same if not better education.  Instead of hoarding our money we should just "hack up" with those who chose not to work hard and I guess if we are hooked onto the grid we are wasting energy and selfish (if you could just see the checks we write so it doesn't all go to wasteful socialistic-idealistic dribble [as in drool]) Who do you think keeps the Salvation Army, Red Cross.....Oh Hell why do I keep trying.  Start up a save the mangrove club and we are all supposed to donate?   




The second Mars rover landed on the Red Planet on Jan. 24, 2004. Designed to last three months, the twin rovers are still going strong after three years and have provided evidence that liquid water existed on Mars at one time.

Solve puzzles and win prizes. Vanishing Point

Thanks 2 for 20, the pizza was great.

I am very, very disappointed in some of these postings. These are not the Americans that I got to know and love. These are not the damn-the-torpedoes-full-speed-ahead-never-say-die-I-have-not-yet-begun-to-fight-Americans, but some kind of subspecies that live under a rock in the light of day.

To the person who said that he would like to see soldiers go AWOL or go to Canada: It's easy to see your commitment to the USA, you rat. And the defeatist SOB in the other posting; these are the people who call themselves Americans and stand in the shadow of Travis, Crockett, Murphy, Mr.Rogers and Capt.Kangaroo? There must have been a big change on Big Pine. Most of the people with backbone left and the spineless slugs stayed. Of all the years that I lived there, I never heard such garbage from Toppino Jim, Joe Britz, Whity, Macus or Chek Jon. You uttered crap like that in front of Whity, he’d give you a chance to leave or get busted in the teeth. I don't think I will post again in this forum, these people make me sick!

Thanks to all at 2 for 20 Pizza. It was a great thing for you to put yourselves out there and show the community you're improving.  Keep up the wonderful work because you have stolen our pizza loving hearts! 





There's a bassman in my head. Shadow/Skinny

Many thanks to 2 for 20 Pizza! Great pizza! I never tried you before. I'll definitely be back.

A warm welcome to Big Al, John, Ken, Trout, Bob, and Kangaroo. Piper Road Spring Band. Love and kisses see you next weekend.

[Word police go sciolistic] Go to your archives. Pick January/2005.  Go to "Edit". Click on "Find on this page". Type in the word sciolistic. It really is a word. Honest. Not socialistic. Sure as hell,  not scholastic. It, for God's sake,  is a for sure, honest-to-God, real word. It really is, for sure used in every day English, by folks. For Chrissake, would you please pick up a goddam dictionary one time in your life? It really, really could help you. And it would help me. I submitted a premise. You betrayed my trust by attributing your ignorance to my submission, as if it were my own. My own ignorance is bad enough. I don't need yours on top of mine. There really is a world out here you might get a glimpse of, if you'd turn off the TV and take a look outside. Get it into your head, your spell check is not the end-all, be-all last word in the universe for the language. If you rely on it,  you get sloppy, lazy, and dumber than you are already. It does not allow for syntactic structure,  the relationship of words in sentence structure. Your site does yet rely on real words, not grunts and gestures. I have respect for you, and your ideas, and this site. It ain't the New York Times. How 'bout reciprocating?

I, for one, say "I for one, is sciolistic, pretentious, psuedo-intellectual, preambulary drivel."

I want to say, 'Thank you" to Two for Twenty for our yummy pizza. The excitement of getting your free pizza was all over town yesterday and waiting for it was such a blast. I saw people I hadn't seen in years and all the adults were like little kids waiting to see Santa. Thank you again; I know we will be back. Kudos to all the workers too. It was so organized and they made it even better with their upbeat moods and kindness. 

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Thursday January 25, 2007

 

Wednesday January 24, 2007


Free Pizza tonight
from 5-8pm. Hand thrown South Carolina crust pizza. 2 for 20 Pizza's new owner's customer appreciation night!  Call 872-7444 to order your Free Pizza and then come by to pick it up.
Holding Clinton responsible for the terrorist attacks on America is indeed a foolish mindset at best. The truth is that when Saddam gassed his people Bush Sr. was in office and was the one that did nothing. The UN tried to impose sanctions on Iraq and the United States voted against the actions at that time. Where was all of the republican outrage a decade and a half ago? Terrorist actions were happening way before Clinton took office and will happen way after Bush is gone. As for the childish remark, I guess in your case that’s not an insult right? Your hypocrisy is showing. Bush is not the Teflon president and the elections have proved my points better then I ever could



[Bubba Bust] Wow, there is someone besides me that is as old as dirt.  When Manny was city attorney I do think Sonny was mayor, but more interestingly---who was the police chief?  Would you believe Manny's father?

I have a question. Why is it that if I wanted a job that would pay me a salary that would allow me to be a money hording, energy wasting, selfish human being I have offers thrown at me, but if I want to work for the betterment of nature and the earth I am met with constant rejection?

[Soldier: A person who offers their life in sacrifice for the ideals and principles this country was founded on.] I agree except for Iraq. Our soldiers are being slaughtered for oil not our founding principals. Don’t kid yourself in the guise of patriotism. We lost the war.



In Bow Wow’s “Shorty Like Mine” is he singing about what I think he’s signing about?

To correct the poster from Monday regarding Manny James. Manny and his wife did spend time out on their sailboat waiting for the indictments to come down. He then turned himself in, went to trial, and did spend time, about a year and a half I think, in prison. Another poster correctly said that after that, he became a legal clerk, one of the highest paid legal clerks. I believe, (but I’m not sure) he worked for a time for well-known Miami attorney Roy Black. Many, many years ago my dad flew from Key West to Miami and had a seat next to three attorneys who had just finished a case in Key West and were discussing how brilliant Manny was during the trial they had been working on. Definitely a very gifted individual.



I was in Key West stuck in traffic among very large foul smelling trucks and got nostalgic for the Central American cities I’ve visited so often.

[Where’s Lonnie the weatherman from Ch 6] He recently got married and moved out of the Miami area.

Work on the Habitat Landing RV park was stopped when somebody challenged the effort for lack of building permits.  The county agreed and red tagged the operation.  Somehow the county wound up with the land and is going to remove the poles and turn it into a “passive” park.




It comes out literally the same.

[I think there are ulterior motives for those running that haven’t a chance.] If the law is still in effect, any candidate can run and gain financial support. That candidate can keep the money if he raises over a certain amount win or lose. It was called Running for the Gold, and has nothing to do with the Olympics.


Due to the overwhelming response to our Community Appreciation Night and the free large pizza giveaway, we are asking that everyone call in ahead of time to place their order.  We will be taking orders all day starting at 10:30 a.m.  The offer is limited to one pizza per family. We do this only to make sure that everyone who wants a pizza gets a pizza.  Everyone who orders ahead will get a pizza.  We truly appreciate the great response we have gotten so far, and look forward to meeting you.

Thank you, Ted Kramer, General Manager 2 for 20 Pizza

From the Conch Rag® Editor-in-Chief to the Chart Room hater:
Mr. McCrackers, We at The Conch Rag® are quite impressed with your passion for our publication. As a gesture of thanks, we took it upon ourselves to renew all of your other current subscriptions for you. For the next year, for free, you shall continue to receive:
Discount Asian Brides "For Lonely Cheapskates"
Crotchety Old Fart Illustrated
Highlights For Children
Coprophiliac Quarterly "Check the dictionary- look it up."
The Bea Arthur Newsletter
Adult Diaper Monthly "Incontinent- Yet Fashionable!"
Teen People
and...
Hot Man-on-Goat Action "Get Your Goat!"

We hope this gesture of goodwill could, in some way, repay the abundant love you have of our publication. We at The Conch Rag® know we could not have gotten to where we are without the help from our readers.
Kudos, Mr. McCrackers!

Regarding our country's founding fathers, they are often lauded in this forum and are even called geniuses.  I could not agree more.  They were all extremely brave and almost all of them died broke and broken because of their commitment, their effort and their sacrifices.

Interestingly, the original model they created for America called for only allowing land owners to vote in elections.  If you did not own property then you could not vote.  They only wanted people who cared enough to have a real stake in the country to have an actual say about what goes on.  Actually, the only people who could vote in those times were male land owners.  Many a discussion has taken place arguing about whether today's egalitarian voting system is better or worse than what the founding fathers created.

Thanks, Ed, for Kudos and Whiners.  You do fine work, much like the original Town Criers of much earlier times.



The next time you find yourself on a plane, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, I urge you to quietly pull your laptop out of your bag, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person next to you can see it), and hit this link.

[Lonnie the weatherman] He went back to New York and got a great deal/contract with NBC. He has promised to fulfill all his scheduled charity events in this area, and wants to come back to Miami as he considers it his second home.

Kudos to the person, Re: condescending soldiers. Well said, thank you.

[Daniel Webster Speaks] I, for one, think this, and I, for one want that, man when I see that "I, for one..." crap, I know it will be prefacing some convoluted garbage, and I just know what follows is going to be as compelling as retained afterbirth. God, we know it's you, when you say "I" it's sufficient, it's you, singularly, yourself, one person. What, are you trying to start a vote, a straw poll, a ballot or referendum?  Maybe it's the fervent hope that your "point" will be infectious and be validated in numbers. Be brave. It's socialistic, pretentious, psuedo-intellectual, preambulary drivel.

Why is Obama Hussein Barack’s Muslim background and madrassa schooling considered and urban legend? He hasn’t denied it is there worry about the truth leaking out.










[Amsterdam to Erect Prostitute Statue] The city of Amsterdam approved a bronze statue dedicated to the world's sex workers. The figure depicts a self-assured woman, her hands on her hips, looking sideways towards the sky, and standing on a doorstep. Officials have not yet determined where the monument will be placed.

[Griping About the Bridge] I agree the bridge is very important. I wish some of the other old bridges were up and running. Sadly, one day all we will have is pictures. I'm enjoying it now and hope everyone takes the same opportunity.

[Weatherman Lonnie from Ch 6] He never was worth a shit as a weatherman, maybe he's working as a comedian.



da Bears, da Bears! Grabowski lives--the Colts lose. If by any chance good Rex shows up, the Colts will be totally embarrassed.

[What’s wrong with American business] Home Depot fired its CEO for doing a lousy job of CEO-ing; and then rewarded him for all the lousy work by giving him a bonus of 210 million dollars.

Stick your nose up your Snope.com. The cell phone telemarketer block goes to the FTC.






Hillary will only be President by title. Bill (Cigar) Clinton will be filling the main position.

Seven years into his presidency Bush finally noticed we need better health care and less dependence on oil. Where has he been for seven years? Do you think his awareness comes from his 28% approval rating, his party’s big defeat in the mid-term elections or Senator Warner’s (Republican head of the powerful Armed Service Committee) attempt to block Bush from escalating the war? To date Bush hasn’t taken the advise to start some kind of diplomacy to end the war. All that Texan knows is “More bullets!”



Remember this sign
? Citizens of the Keys assume the position. You should know it well by now. Your insurance rates are here to stay.  

When American kids served this country by draft, we did have a real reason to respect their service "Without Condition". When they enlist for the benefits only, I will only respect those that go AWOL to Canada or elsewhere when an idiot like George Bush wants to send them into harms way for the almighty dollar!  The rest can complain here or have their mommies do it for them. That goes for the WWII, Korean and Vietnam Vets that defend them too. Those wars were markedly different and if you were in it and don't know it, close your blow-holes now before infecting others.

For the 28% still backing the Bushman, prepare to back up your convictions with your children this year or next with a general draft. I hear college will not be a deferment this time. Still think Iraq is the proving ground for terror studies?

AirTran Airways defended its decision to remove a Massachusetts couple from a flight after their crying 3-year-old daughter refused to take her seat before takeoff.

AirTran officials said they followed Federal Aviation Administration rules that children age 2 and above must have their own seat and be wearing a seat belt upon takeoff.

I listened to the State of the Union address last night.  I have to admit that I don't dislike Bush, but can we agree that as a whole there is not a more self-indulgent assemblage in the world than we saw tonight? With the exception of the Oscars, it has to be the largest mental masturbation group in the world.

[Jihad II] "You hit the nail right on the head," wrote a Christian Keys woman friend about "Jihad," published a few days ago. Sloan's Space

This is not a joke. It is a real passage from the Koran, chapter and verse:

Koran (9:11) For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.

Pax America!

Two weeks ago in the (Citizen’s) Sunday supplement, Paula Cannon had a beautiful article regarding the Blackbead being the host plant to endangered butterflies. It is well worth picking that up on Sundays and reading it. She has written several articles, all worth reading.

The leaves of blackbead have four leaflets, a pair at each end of a branched midrib. The pinkish powder-puff 'flower' is an inflorescence—a spherical head of tiny flowers with extravagant stamens. The 'flowers' are fragrant and give rise to a pod. When ripe, the pod twists and splits revealing shiny black seeds partially covered by a bright red aril. The seeds were strung as beads for necklaces hence the common name.

Blackbead is a host plant for the large orange sulfur, a year-round butterfly of South Florida and the Keys. The shrub also plays sole host to a small wasp which oviposits within the leaflet tissues causing a gall to form.



[Re: Goyem jealous] You look like a cross between Elton John and a welder. You're farshtinkener and an alter kaker. So there.

I see a response from our overly opinionated Editor saying the reason my email address was published is" "(Ed: Negative remark: catch a disease if I ever walk within 500 yards of the building.)".  Can someone please enlighten me here?  Lets go over the past postings.  I have had many people help me with this and they have been reading this blog much longer than I.

If that comment was negative enough to merit posting my email address how about other comments?  The Chart room?  Robs and Rob personally?  Bahama Jacks and someone saying cockroaches?  Tom Willi?  Little Palm Island's Darren Bell?  Little Palm Island's Captain Pervert?  A real Estate Company and it's hideous Christmas Lights?  The Big Pine Post Office?  House of Music?  Fat chicks at the Cow Palace?  Walgreens?  Publix?  Habitat for Humanity?  Shall I go on?

Maybe the reason our bias Editor defends Key Deer and none of these places might be he or she is a Key Deer regular?  Maybe Key Deer is his or her hang out?  Who knows?

I have made many friends by them publishing my email.  I never thought I would owe suck Jack Ass a thank you but I must thank the Editor for improving my social life.

The man who was blaming Clinton for Bush’s war against Iraq said that attacking an American military vehicle is an act of war and that it should be taken as such. In 1991 China not only bumped an American spy plane, but after it was forced to the ground China refused to ship it back until it was partially dismantled. Bush did zero when this "Act of war against the US" was done. I guess accountability only goes one way. Sorry but you cant pin that one on Clinton. Just as you can’t pin Iraq on him. They happened on Bush’s watch. I didn’t mean the "Kool-Aid" remark as an insult it was intended as a joke but if you took offense I apologize.

Can’t believe P.E.T.A. is euthanizing 80% of the animals its promising to get a better life? --Bill Hemmer 1/22

"We know where the WMD are. They are east, west, north and south of Tikrit"
--Donald Rumsfeld.

Americans won’t be fooled again.  Hold the democrats accountable now.  Hopefully the democrats will hold the Commander-in-Chief accountable because the Republicans don’t have the courage to stand up to Bush.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 24, 2007

 

Tuesday January 23, 2007

I made a point a couple days ago showing the statistics of terrorist attacks during the Clinton administration.  Those stats are truth, not fiction.  And yes, Bush absolutely did adopt the terrorist problem when he became President.  Support him or not, that is the truth.  Yet, someone just had to respond with insults like "muddy up your fantasies" or "Cherry Kool-Aid," referring to the stats.  The truth is, Osama attacked the World Trade Center in 1993.  When the attack failed to bring down the towers, Osama very publicly announced he would live to see the towers come down.  Clinton did nothing.  He had Osama in his sites, but wimped-out when it came time to pulling the trigger.  Folks, this is the world we live in these days.  These radicals are out to kill us.  I don't care who's in office.  My life does not revolve around the President being a Dem. or Rep.  I just want to see something done about these people.  Is it possible to have a discussion without childish insults?  


When Castro dies
there will be a mass migration. But going to Cuba, lead by the real estate developers.

[You Bush people don't have to admit your big mistakes]  Warning: political campaign contributions are not tax deductible as was posted on Monday's Gossip Column.  Just a little mistake, I guess.

You people griping about the bridge should enlighten yourselves a bit further.  They are not building a bridge to Pigeon Key. The old 7 mile bridge is already there.  They are fixing it, not building it.  And I am personally grateful they are. 

If you ever bothered to go to that section of the bridge you would see hundreds of people every day, all day biking, jogging, walking, walking their dogs, and fishing.  There may not be a lot of people going to Pigeon Key, but there are lots of people using the eastern section of bridge, it is much more popular.  Most people walk out to Pigeon Key and then turn around and walk back, without ever going down the ramp to the museum, so get off the Pigeon Key bit, you don't know the reality of the value of the bridge.

I walk my dog there every weekend morning, my neighbors walk to the sunset most evenings.  The view is magnificent, and I am hard pressed to find a better way to start my day, walking in the sunrise, feeling the bit of breeze on my face, the smell of the ocean and the sound of the waves below.  It never fails that I take a moment to thank God for the blessing of living in this beautiful place.  It never fails that contentment settles in and I truly feel life is good, even if only for a small amount of time, before the chores and bills beckon.

There are quite a few people who wouldn't get any exercise at all if not for this wonderful bridge.  And each weekend Stand Up for Animals brings a truck load of dogs for people to walk, more exercise and social activity that they might not otherwise receive, and the possibility of finding a home. 

Also, the biggest majority of the money is coming from the Feds, not the County.  And I, for one, am glad to see it spent on something actually being used daily by the local population, not just lining someone’s pocket, or serving a small specific tourist industry (diving). 

So before you bitch about my bridge, come and walk 2 miles in my tennis shoes.  You'll be glad you did, you'll understand why it's so worth saving, and you might actually chill out and enjoy the rest of your day, maybe even your life.


I just realized that no one’s ever mentioned Dick Chaney as a presidential candidate. Doesn’t the Vice President usually run? Do you think it’s because most Americans distrust him?

There are already eight candidates running for the 2008 presidential election. Are they kidding? Other than the front runners do they even think they have a chance? I think there are ulterior motives for those that haven’t a chance.




[2 for 20 Pizza] Are they really giving pizza away tomorrow or is it a trick? If it’s for real, thanks, it’s a great way to get new customers.

[Fragrant flowers now in bloom] Not Spanish Stopper but Blackbead.

[Beware of Muslims and atheists!Poster, please explain what you are talking about.

That plant in bloom everywhere on Big Pine isn't a Spanish Stopper. Spanish Stoppers have smaller white flowers and a sickly sweet smell. they bloom closer to November than January. The beautifully fragrant flower with the 1" - 1 1/2" puffball bloom in either pink, yellow or cream color is a Blackbead. Look in "Florida Key's Wildflowers" by Roger Hammer. An excellent source for identifying flowering plants and trees. I often walk in our wilds with a copy of this very informative book in my hand. Blackbead photo is on page 40. Spanish stopper on page184.



Proof that you don't have to be a white southern male to be a   redneck, but it helps.

Do not call list. Urban Legends Reference Pages: Celling Your Soul

Free pizza? I’ll try it. You can’t beat the price.

Is the Goyem jealous of expensive eye wear?  Obviously.  I like your circa 70s glasses!  If you were cultured, you'd realize that everyone from all walks of life are wearing large sunglasses and smaller eye glasses.  Many have had laser surgery and don't need pricy specs anyway.

To condescend to an American soldier is among the dumbest things Americans can do. A person who offers their life in sacrifice for the ideals and principles this country was founded on, deserves nothing less than our utmost and profound respect and gratitude. The sneering, cynicism, and ridicule of folks who believe in this country, produces and contributes nothing.

(To quote an old submission) “Anyone who takes up Ms. Sheehan's "cause" or its ilk, has no idea of the history of this country, and doesn't deserve the liberty that's been bought them with the blood of their predecessors, and I would also hate to think while on the battlefield, that I was laying my life on the line for the likes of them. That group would rather see this country crippled before it sacrificed a drop of sweat for anything.”

The architects of this country were fabulous geniuses. Take pride in it. America is far and away the greatest country in the world. Need proof? The most valuable document in the world is a lifetime visa to this country. There are folks who would gladly pay you a million dollars for it, if they had it. The whole world wants to come here to get a leg up in a secure environment, because the fighting's been done. All but for the home grown socialists who don't want to risk anything, and resent folks who do, folks who enjoy some success in life, however modest, because of their willingness to risk everything, and work 'til  they can hardly stand.



I wonder sometimes about bleeding heart organizations. Are they holy rollers, S&Ms or just spaced out do-gooder's who can't get any?  When they support America by paying their share via income tax, which most pay nothing, only then I will respect them.

In answer to the whining weinnie about the Key Deer Bar and Grill. Shame on you. I read your note on the bpk.com  and recognized your name . I know you from the tiki bar and you have a big black dog and you both live in a filthy van. I used to see you at the Key Deer, but I heard you were asked not to come back. Capt. Dan never said any thing about you, because I asked him. All he said is he can't have dogs on the property. My question is, why did you knock the Key Deer bar? I know most all the people that go in there and can't picture who you're talking about. If I sat next to someone not desirable I would have moved. It's a big bar with lots of very nice people there. I have always felt comfortable there with or without my family. --Holidayfolks@aol.com



Found: Beautiful hoop 14k gold earring.  Call 305-879-2018

I called the toll free number to have my cell phone on the do not call list. Even if it is an urban legend, it only took me a minute and I’m protected. Now if I could only find a way to get the jerks to stop sending me junk faxes and using up my paper expensive inks.


Does anyone know where Lonnie the weatherman from Ch 6 went?

[Least Competent People] Some British and German drivers have over-relied on their cars' satellite-navigation devices, sometimes with tragic (or hilarious) results. A 53-year-old German man thought the device's instruction to turn "now" meant not at the next corner but right that second, and he crashed into a building. Another followed instructions but ignored a prominent "closed for construction" sign and plowed into a pile of sand. Said an exasperated German auto club spokesman, "It's not as if people are driving in a tank with only a small slit to see out."

[Review: Gilligan's Island] My partner and I went to see it Saturday night. I will say this:
* The singing was wonderful and on-key.  The music was typical for a stage musical (which it was. It wasn't a play; that’s why it was called "Gilligan's Island: The Musical."
* Dawn Wells looked and sounded great, and who knew Barry Williams could sing?!  He's lost weight and looks great.
* The T.W. theatre is a wonderful property, great acoustics and comfy seats.
* Although I didn't see anyone leave, I will admit that the plot was weak when the alien was added, and was a bit cheesy, but if you think about it, the plot for the TV series was weak and cheesy as well. You never knew who would show up on that island.  The addition of the alien sort of made it feel a bit like a High School production.

All in all, it was a fun night of entertainment.  I hope that before they decide to take this elsewhere they re-think a few things in the show.  I expected “cheesy” and got it.

I can’t see Monday’s Kudos, but my friend can. What happened? Lousy Tech Support

S.O.Bs live in pink houses.



You have to be
old enough to appreciate this.  If you don't understand this, you are too young.  

[trailers at the Habitat] I hear they are ones that this new "Big Pine Coffee Country Club" has bought, and are in the middle of transporting them out of the Keys. I hear they got a company out of Ft. Lauderdale to come and get the others out of Pine Channel R/V Park at the end of this month as well. If anyone has any information or ideas about these postings about this club, please advise us. There has been talk in the park of a notice to be coming out in the next few days telling us all about this situation that is suppose to happen before the end of the month. I, for one, can’t afford to let anyone take my home out of the park, too many others have lost theirs in other parks in Big Pine.

Hey, James, come Superbowl time the Colts will dominate all over the, um, who's playing the Colts again? I forget.  Anyway, long live the Baltimore Colts! I mean Indianapolis Colts!  Go Colts!

Catholics and Muslims treat their women just about the same—as second class.

Why did you print the lady's email address who was being hit on by the biker!? (Ed: Negative remark: "catch a disease if I ever walk within 500 yards of the building.")



I thought the name "
Spanish Stopper" was referring to our Coast Guard down here. At least that is what they used to do.

(?)Sherry was found under Pine Channel Bridge.  She lived in a little boat and worked at the nursery on Big Pine and bothered no one; what a coward he was. 

I was reading the Book of Proverbs the other day when I noticed quite a few of them take a slam at women. My favorite is: "A know-it-all avoids the company of wise men and women".  Enough said.

Has anyone ever checked the credentials of a Presidential wanna-be? It seems to me, the media is all that is necessary to have on your side, and a good script writer to throw the BS at the people, to give them the irrelevant crap they think is important. Giving any human being the power of that office should only fall into the hands of a highly intelligent, highly trained, totally committed person. Not what we have become used to. I hope 2008 is a whole new era of Americans getting their heads out of their butts and thinking for a change! Else we are in deep trouble.

I heard that the "RV park" at Habitat Landing was built without permits on wetland that was supposed to have been left alone as part of the environmental mitigation for the development.



[If they did not stop that s.o.b. from blaring music at me I would have killed him] Why do you think they were blaring music at you? That sounds a little self-centered. Some people may just enjoy loud music. Then you state “Code is there to save lives.” So the purpose of code is to stop a nut case from killing a kid that likes loud music? I knew there was a good reason for code enforcement. I just could never think of it on my own. I guess code really does save lives. Thank you, Sir.

Fact: The Average Pro Football Player earns more money per minute than a devoted Marine on the battle field gets per month while giving his life for his country!
Fact: The average cab driver in NYC, who can't speak American, doesn't pay taxes and has no allegiance to our country, makes more money in a day, than a dead Marine's family gets for benefits!

[Puppy training starts at 3 months and no earlier. Right?]   Training starts from the minute you get the pup, it's never too early.  You just need to know what to do.  flakeysgurl@aol.com if you would like some help. 

I am the woman who shared my unpleasant experience of a drunk hitting on me at Key Deer and had my email published.  I want to thank all the people who emailed me supporting me and saying they don't understand why my email was published.  I knocked a place of business that is named here on a daily basis just like Rob’s is, Bahama Jacks is, 2 for 20 is, Boondocks is and many, many other businesses.  I described the person as drunk, toothless and smelly.  That could have been any one of thousands bar flies, but our bias editor feels I named someone specific.

I guess I owe the Editor a thank you too.  I have gotten many emails supporting me and bashing the Editor.  I've even gotten asked out on a few dates too.  Maybe I can give my vibrator a rest.

I am sure this email will be edited if published at all.  I guess this weblog is getting very political.  You get what you want based on either who you know or who you blow.

I can't wait to see if this is published unedited.

Thanks to everyone that answered the Manny James question.  I do remember him as quite brilliant and an interesting character with a flash for living.

Okay, can we all say together who the Mayor of Key West was when all this corruption went on? All together now:  Sonny McCoy.

[Urban Legend] The liberals are beginning to eat there own. Hillary is telling people that no one will vote for Obama Hussein Barack because he is Muslim and spent four years or more in a madrassa. I don’t know if this is true but Hillary wouldn’t lie would she?

The Bears are cheaters! They made it snow on the poor Saints.

[Dogs and stuff] Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." Jesus said to him, " No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God." Sloan's Space

Blackbead: Who is the photographer that discovered that blackbead is a host plant of the Miami Blue butterfly? I hope it's true, because it would be great if such a common plant could be used by an endangered species. It's long been known that members of the blue families eat on the blackbead flowers, but the only butterfly that I know that uses it as a host plant is the Large Orange Sulphur butterfly.

[Urban Legend II] Cell phone numbers will not be released to telemarketers. This is another one of those annoying "Urban Myths" that idiots pass along to scare others. Please check out www.snopes.com before passing on anything that sounds too good or too bad to be true. 

What to do with illegal aliens. I say put them to work in our restaurants. Oh, wait, we do that already. Hail illegals!




Da Bears: 88-0! Let's go Bears. Chi-town rules!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Tuesday January 23, 2007

 

Monday January 22, 2007

My name is Wayne Cook, the owner of Two for Twenty pizza.  In the past few months we have taken a few licks on the Kudos and Whiners column, and we have tried our hardest to make sure that any mistakes we have made are corrected.  I would like to thank everyone on here for their honesty and appreciate any comments that have been made.  Every comment made is taken to heart and we strive to correct all of our mistakes, without input like the Kudos and Whiners we would not know when we drop the ball.  

I would like to tell everyone here that on

Wednesday January 24th, 2007 we will giving away a Large 5 topping pizza for carryout to anyone that calls between 5 and 8
.

This is our way of saying thank you.  This is not an advertisement, this is just a little thank you to everyone.  There is no purchase necessary and it is open to everyone.  We would like to have everyone come in and get a chance to try out all the new things we have done.  Again I would like to thank everyone who has supported us, and I hope that we can continue to  provide you with pizza and subs in the lower Keys.

(note to editor:  I assume you will call to verify the validity of this offer, please feel free to contact me either on my cell phone at (305) 879-2099 or at the store (305) 872-7444.  This offer is legitimate and entirely free, and it is a thank you for all of your help) (Ed: Our pizza expert called and verified this fantastic offer and it is genuine. The owner, Wayne, said there will never be another unsatisfied customer if they'll just give them a chance to do the right thing. I'm going. I'll see you there Wednesday Jan 24 for supper between 5 and 8pm for free pizza take out!)


Do hip old Jews in Miami who wear those oversized glass’s frames (that shout “Well-off Jew”) select them to make that impression of is it just bad taste?

Many James was the City Attorney for Key West while a major player in a pot smuggling ring in the early 70s. He has a brilliant legal mind that went array. He, along with a host of prominent “citizens”, got caught in the famous Bubba Bust. The City was so corrupt then that the Feds wouldn’t even tell the local police what was going on. (Police Sgt Casamayor and Carol Key were arrested also.) Mr James disappeared on his boat for a couple of years and when he finally returned he was disbarred. I believe he stayed out of jail because of his fabulous legal skills. He wore more gold than the Atocha and was a very colorful guy. He sure knew how to party!



The Colts are going to the Superbowl!

I too wonder how did Habitat Landing and Habit for Humanity get zoning for an R/V park? I’m not against them, but any zoning change or exception to the codes is fodder for the developers in their future bids to condo the Keys.

[Wilma truck] Call the State’s Attorney’s office and they will point you in the right solution?


The Spanish Stoppers/Blackbead have never bloomed so profusely. I believe it is because the hurricane killed all the tall trees and these smaller plants are getting more sunlight (at least that what they told me in little school).

The Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce has announced the new officers for the 2007 board of directors. Jason O'Brien of First State Bank is president; Tim Saunders of Keys Federal Credit Union is first vice president; Ken Dartley of Parrotdise Waterfront is second vice president; Cindi Dolberry of Preferred Properties is membership vice president; Erica Rodriguez of Chicago Title of the Florida Keys is treasurer; Carole Stevens of the Lower Keys Chamber is secretary; and Terry Strickland of Floridakeys.com is parliamentarian.

Did anyone go see the play Gilligan's Island this weekend? It was so bad then they brought on an Alien and it was Cats all over again. Half the audience left during intermission.





Deer Abby

I live in Big Pine and was coming home from up north and decided to stop in for breakfast at Bobs Buns Islamorada restaurant.  Oh my god, never again.  Me and my 3 kids got some donuts and pastries and my husband got a regular egg platter meal with a few extra eggs and we all got a soda. The bill came to almost $50.  I couldn't believe it!  I questioned the bill and they figured it out and it was right.  They said the small items add up.  Oh well, live and learn.  I will never stop there again.  I left feeling like I got raped in my buns by Bobs Buns. What a rip-off.  Ban Bob’s Buns, they need to lower those crazy prices.
--Dondon1023@aol.com


I thought the name "Spanish Stopper" had to have a story behind it so I looked up some info.  There's a story, but it's not what I was expecting; "Spanish Stopper is a pioneer species establishing itself before any of the other hammock species. The name "stopper" refers to its historical use as a treatment for diarrhea."

The first proof of a person's incapacity to achieve is their endeavoring to fix thier stigma of failure on others. Okay, it’s not the women, I just don’t want one.

The pretty flowers are not Spanish stopper.  They are Blackbead (Pithecellobium guadalupense). We are getting a strong flowering pulse right now. There are two types of flowers (on different trees) white and pinkish. If you go back to these same trees in a month, you will see a black seed in a scarlet red avril (covering), thus the Blackbead. This is one of our most common small trees and is very salt tolerant. A local photographer also recently discovered that it is a host for the very rare, Miami blue butterfly. The deer eat the flowers and new leaves.

Critter Doc has been great for us too.

It's about time Hillary will be on the sucking end of the cigar.





[Big Gay Al] There are a lot of men in Key West who could double for Big Gay Al.  Just look around when you are down there. They may not all be gay; some of them are fat guys from the Midwest who let their wives buy their clothes.

The damn iguanas are still here. The deer are loosing, 3 died on Key Deer Blvd last week. Tourist are feeding them left and right.

All Muslims are radical.

To the editor-and-chief of the Conch Rag. It sounds like you’re scared of me. I’ll wait till you go to the Chart Room some night and when you run your big mouth about the story I’ll put my fist in it. No one should say what you said about me! I take care of my problems. I don't run away from them. Enjoy the Chart Room the next few weeks. I know I will.

[Code Enforcement] I disagree with yesterday’s poster.  Code is there to save lives.  If they did not stop that s.o.b. from blaring music at me I would have killed him.  Honestly though, after you try to politely and diligently ask a neighbor to be courteous and follow the laws, and they don't it's not being a rat to have law enforcement step in and settle the dispute before it escalates into something really nasty. Some people are just so self-centered and they don't care how they encroach on another's rights.  Their job is to take care of the little things to let our police alone to do their job on the big things.




Don’t play with matches or our flag.

I'm not a big fan of political arguments because no one is going to change another's mind.  However, I think the couple of people who pointed out that history has led to where we are today made some of the most intelligent political statements I've read here in a long time.  I'm pretty good with American History, and I can remember countless unpopular Presidential decisions from both Democrats and Republicans.  I think that before someone makes a post on this web site quoting Republicans or Democrats, they should think about what they're saying.  It's very likely that their complaint applied to their own political party at some point.

I watched Lawrence Welk last night with the volume turned off and thought everyone looked like a Dwight Eisenhower constituent. And they all looked like they were Protestants and good Christians.  All that was missing was Jimmy Swaggert playing the accordion.

Pat Boon was the special guest with 12 number one songs under his turned up collar and white bucks. He sang Moody River (boo, bland beyond belief [say that ten times fast]).

[Snopes.com] Many rumors have recently come to  light about this so called rumor busting web site. Some have it that it's authored by either: Michael Jackson, Osama Bin Laden, or Monica Lewinsky. Now that lends credibility to Snopes, right?

You Bush people don't have to admit your big mistakes.  We forgive you for both of them. The main thing is to get the Hell out of Iraq,  repair the U.S. image and get the Clintons back. We're getting two for the price of one. Maybe she can get Barack Obama as her VP.  Vote smart - - our Country depends on it! I strongly suggest you  vote the old-fashioned way at the Polls and not accu-vote or absentee voting.  This is a Republican state and we had problems in the past!  Cafe Press has t-shirts, stickers, coffee mugs and it would be a positive move for the United States of America to make a tax deductible contribution to Hillary.  Thank you and God Bless America and our brave Soldiers who need to come home.  http://www.hillaryclinton.com/

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Has anyone eaten at Looe Key Tiki lately? The food's not bad.

I agree with the guy who appreciates older or larger women willing to go out in public in a bikini.  An ageing or big woman comfortable enough to put on the bikini in public can be a big turn on.  Ladies tell me when and where and I will be there with my sun block and both hands.  Have towel, will travel.

There is a big debate on Capitol Hill at the moment about what to do with illegal aliens. I do not understand what there is to debate. Borrow a blast from the past. Activate Operation Wetback! These people already violated US law by entering the country illegally. I believe that is a felony. Alien felons are deported, I should know! So what is the hold-up with these highly educated bums? Oh, the poor things left their homeland to find a better life; a robber robs a bank for the same reason. He shouldn't go to prison?

[Jihad] Shortly after 9/11, while leaving the Key West post office on my bicycle, into my thoughts came a solution for the war between Islam, Israel and the West. The solution was pretty simple. It also was pretty impossible. Even so, I liked it, even though I didn't find anyone else who seemed to . . .Sloan's Space

A good object lesson for Americans is Kosovo. So many aliens moved there for a better life from Albania, that they now want the place to be separated from Serbia, and they want independence. Another country with nothing to offer and exists on the back of US taxpayers. Get out of here!

The Man manipulates the on-line arrest log.  Many are Police officers posing as criminals.  They even remove a person's prior arrests while their criminal is out snitching on others thinking he will get a reduced sentence.  Not.  Two guys arrested for trying to sell coke are actually DEA with assumed names, addresses and they have a lot of fun getting just the right mug shot.  The moral of the story is don't trust strangers with candy. 

Yeah, all of Bush’s mistakes and failures are Clinton's fault. Ha, ha, ha.  Was it Cherry Kool-Aid today? Newsflash: The Cole attack was 3-4 months before Bush took office. When there’s only a few months left in a president’s administration they let the incoming President pave the way. What did Bush do? And let’s be honest. Osama waited almost a year into the Bush administration before he attacked America. The terrorist play Bush like a fiddle and it’s costing us dearly. As for your statistics since they are your backup try this 1=Over 3000 American troops killed for cherry picked intelligence by Bush. Its been proven. Don’t let reality muddy up your fantasies.

11 days from today, all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls.  You will be charged for these calls. To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222.  It is the National do not call list. It will only take a minute of your time.  It blocks your number for five years.

You must call from the cell phone number you want to have blocked.  Or register your number online at: www.donotcall.gov Help others by passing this on to all your friends.

[Oops, I meant "Darlin", one of Manny James’ favorite expressions. I met him at a Zonta party that his wife and my sister dragged us to, in the home now know as the Fogarty House.  He and I were the only males there not afraid to admit we were bored.  We wound up on the back porch sharing a joint.  Our subsequent relationship was anything but boring.


I cannot wait for the Dick Morris documentary slamming the murderous, lying, stealing, skank that wants to be president. Maybe with all the other dirt digging that’s going to happen the Vince Foster family will finally learn the truth.

I have been seeing a lot of talk about Key Deer Bar on here so I had to go check it out today.  I have now been there, seen it and have no need to return.  I think I will catch a disease if I ever walk within 500 yards of the building.  I sat there and had two glasses of wine while getting hit on by a biker guy who was desperately in need of a bath and some deodorant.  I tried to politely explain that I wasn't interested.  Then, after him continuing, I told him I am married, which I am not.  Then I told him I have a bad flu. Finally, in one last attempt to loose his interest I told him I have AIDS, which I do not.  He still continued to hit on me as he drooled on his chin with the spit running over both of his teeth.  I feel like I need to pressure wash myself then boil myself in water.  Dating in the Keys is tough.  Thank God I own a vibrator. --deedeesails@hotmail.com

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Monday January 22, 2007

 

Sunday January 21, 2007




Thanks to everyone who came out and showed their support Saturday for Bob Howard.  Thank you all! Also, a big thanks to all the local bossiness that donated items.

[Manny James] He and his wife moved to Georgia several years ago, but they still own a home on BPK. I think he was disbarred after the Bubba Bust but served as a law clerk once he got out of jail. He has a brilliant legal mind, but he made some bad choices and paid the price.



Does anyone out there have any thoughts on just why there would be a mass migration from Cuba if Mr. Castro dies?

CBS re-aired the story of Charlie Brandt last night. What bridge did they find the body of  Sherry Perisho under? I can't remember where I was at the time (1989).

I thank God every day for the life I live, be it good or bad, I am not judging the people involved in the war, but please, let's cut them some slack.  Bush put them there. Unfortunately he is the only one to get them out.

I am sure some of you have gone through something similar to my situation and perhaps you can help with some legal solutions to this problem.  I bought a truck from a person last summer.  Unbeknownst to me, it was bought from a local dealer right after Wilma.  After $700 in new front brakes and inspection of the underside of the vehicle, I have strong evidence that it was under saltwater.  Should I go to the dealer? Get a lawyer? Call “Help me Howard”?

[Prevent lost luggage] Several people said they now routinely ship their bags via FedEx or United Parcel Service. They get door-to-door service, saving the time spent waiting at airport luggage carousels. They get real tracking and email confirmations. They don't lose items to thieves, they can ship whatever they want and for business trips, their companies or clients usually pick up the cost.


Puppy training starts at 3 months and no earlier. Right?  Except for the crate training and socialization (playing nice with other dogs and people).  Two of the most important issues.   http://www.padsonline.org/

God and politics II. Below is the text of my reply to an email asking if a sentence or paragraph was left out before the last paragraph of yesterday's "God and politics" posting...Sloan's Space



Thank Goodness we're going to get a female Democrat as President in 2008!  Yay! http://www.hillaryclinton.com/

[Conch Rag] Geez, where to start? I dug the “interview” with the peanut barrel guy until Pauly Shore surfaced, then I bailed. And I hope no one gets there ass kicked, regardless of the 63-year-old’s intentions. I hate to admit Clinton and cigars, sans Monica or not would be better than freakin W.  Michigan dude in New England with houses on BPK and LTK - kudos and peace, best of luck. I’m glad to see your good attitude. Make a snow angel for me because I’m not going back any time soon! Ladies in a thong regardless of age - um, screw it, you only live once. Boys, you’ve got to take the good with the, well, no one’s perfect so quit pointing fingers. The oddities of the world tend to keep things interesting.



I just finished watching a program on CNN called “The Enemy Within” it was about Moslems in Britain. Christian Amanpour was the reporter. It was a very good example of the one-sidedness and the negativeness of reporting. The radical crazies received twice as much airtime as the moderate Moslems.

Want a fast way to get American troops out of Iraq?  Send the Bush twins over to serve.  See how fast daddy pulls out.  The way those two behave daddy should have pulled out about 26 years ago.  Then again his father should have pulled out and we wouldn't be in this mess.

I would like to give Alex Auto Wrecking on Rockland Key Kudos for the great service that they have done for me through the years. Back when Wilma struck the keys they took my vehicle in months after the storm for no cost. Recently I received a letter about a vehicle that used to belong to me that was abandoned and towed to their yard. For reasons unknown, the title was never transferred and the car came back to haunt me months after giving the vehicle away. I was being charged for someone else’s irresponsibility. I went in, sat down and talked with Christine about the situation I was in. She waved all the fees and I happily signed the vehicle over to them. Once again Alex's Auto Wrecking saved my day, week, and month. It’s nice to know that some people still have the "Keys attitude" left in them. Thank you Alex's, you’re a great community asset and everyone should take notice.

[Reply from the Editor-in-Chief of "The CONCH RAG ®] Mr. McCrackers, On behalf of The CONCH RAG ®, let me state that we appreciate your posting. Your input is very important to us! But, as we receive an abundance of correspondence on a daily basis, we find it increasingly difficult finding time to personally reply to all our readers. I am glad you enjoy the column and hope you continue to subscribe. It is pro-active readers like you who put The CONCH RAG ® on the map. Keep reading!

If you check with snopes.com you will find that the babble about Barack Obama is false.




--Govwatch05@netscape.com

Comet McNaught - the Great Comet of 2007 time lapse movie sweeping through the inner solar system. The movie frames were recorded from January 12 through Jan 16 by a coronograph onboard the sun-staring SOHO spacecraft. Bright planet Mercury also glides dramatically through the field of view but the Sun itself remains fixed, hidden behind the coronograph's central occulting disk. The broad-tailed comet is so bright it almost overwhelms SOHO's sensitive camera designed to explore the fainter structures in the Sun's outer atmosphere. Comet McNaught's closest approach to the Sun (perihelion on January 12) was only 0.17 astronomical units, or about half the distance between the Sun and Mercury.

A 'touchy-feely' CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked,
"What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist."
The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

[developers have their eye on Pigeon Key] That is exactly what is happening to the Lower Keys. The developers want the land and the locals have to go. Fight back now, or lose your home and Paradise forever!



Uniforms and table cloths provided by "Triple K" linen services.  An equal opportunity employer.

[Glairing lights from neighbors’ houses] Most states are passing laws to curb lighting, sound, animal, and human nuisances to others. It only takes common sense to maintain decency in a neighborhood. It is called respect for others. Maybe I will buy my 8 year old a set of water proof drums so he can practice at night, outside under my spot lights. OK?



[The Pirate Wellness Center]
Is that the place old Pirates can get back into shape and can get their swords sharpened, cloths mended and refills on their rum supply?

Some of my best memories of hanging out in bars were at the Chart Room.  I remember long conversations with Capt. Tony, and other notable Key West personalities.  Every time we saw Capt. Tony there he would propose to my girl friend and ask her to have his next child.  Rosie the bartender left the area about 8 or so years ago and the place just wasn't the same without her.  She always had a new joke ready for each new patron who entered. What finally stopped me from going was my increased sensitivity to smoke.  There is a sign on the wall that states "this is a work free smoke place."  I love the place just like it is and I hope they never change the Institution. By the way, the Chart Room was there way before there was a Pier House and the rest of the resort was constructed around it.

 

Record Storm Grips The Keys. 20" snow reported In some places

As fine a summary of email urban legend as I've ever seen! http://info.org.il/irrelevant/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf

Beware of Muslims and atheists!

Aren’t you glad you don’t work in a cubicle? My Cubicle - Yahoo! Video



The fragrant pretty flowers all in bloom are Spanish Stopper

[never seen such horrible English] That had nothing to do with the commissioners, it had to do with the lame "humor." I'd agree with you on the commissioners.



[Glaring lights]
A friend lived in a heavily wooded area with wide separations between neighbors.  Before long, a young city couple moved into the next house in the neighborhood.  They were afraid of the dark and installed outdoor lights very high in the trees to illuminate their entire 4 plus acres all night long.  Even from the highway entrance a mile or more away, it looked like ET's landing zone.  When someone shot out a couple of their lights a SWAT team responded.  I'm sure the story is to be cont'd.

The last time I saw Manny James was in '97, I worked on his motor home. He still lived on Big Pine then. What ever happened to him?

Here’s a lighting solution for glaring lights. Night Sky Friendly Outdoor Lighting Products by Starry Night Lights

It seems like whenever it is windy the iguanas and the deer disappear. Maybe there are too many scary scents in the air?




[Biker on Seven Mile Bridge]  I too remember being on our bike, behind my guy, and burying my stubbled chin into the crook of his neck.

[Most people that code enforcement catch think it is their right to do whatever they want] I have to disagree. I believe most people inadvertently break code ordinances. There are so many rules it’s hard for an average person to know all of them. The last discussion on the $1000 rule is proof of this.

I find the people who call code think their crap doesn’t stink. But most of all, they’re rats. Most have some mental dissolution and are not in touch with reality. They live in some counter-reality. Within this reality they are the ones that exist and within their existence they create all others. If they cease to exist reality itself unravels.

It must be a miserable existence living in a place where everyone despises you. A word to the wise, it is much more fun drinking, fishing and hanging out on the sand bars with your neighbors then looking up different code infringements to pin on them.

[More bleach in the gene pool] People Disrespecting Their Bodies: John Sheehan, 33, was arrested in November, nude, near the rapid-transit station in El Cerrito, Calif., and when asked if he was carrying contraband, admitted that he had a "screwdriver" in his rectum. Police treated the item as a potential weapon, training guns on him while he removed the 6-inch-long awl wrapped in electrical tape.

[Clinton = a little sex out of marriage]  Are you kidding me?  Lets' be honest about your Clinton / Bush comparison.  Clinton = 6 dead, 1,042 wounded in World Trade Center bombing.  Clinton = 257 dead, 4,000 wounded in U.S. Embassy attacks.  Clinton = 17 dead, 39 wounded in an attack on the U.S.S. Cole.  That last one gets me the most.  One of our warships was attacked and nothing was done.  In case you don't know, attacking a warship is a declaration of war.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out these attacks are leading up to something bigger.  At what point do we say enough is enough and go on the offensive?  Did it ever occur to you that if something had been done by the Clinton administration 3,000 more people would not have been killed in 2001?  Did it ever occur to you that if Clinton wasn't such a coward we may not be at war today?  Heck, if Clinton wasn't such a wimp, Gore may even be our President today.  The past determines the future and these problems were not created by Bush.  They were adopted by Bush.

I work two jobs with very long hours in Key West and returned home to Big Pine exhausted to find my kitten stricken with a high fever, sneeze, runny nose and very watery eyes.  By the standards of most vet clinics in the area it was after hours and not technically an emergency so there was no where to take her and I cannot afford to take off work during the day to see to her care.  So I called Critter Doc and within a half an hour he was at my house.  Not only was he great in his manner, but very affordable as well,  being that my kitten wound up having a fever of 106 degrees I am quite sure he saved her life.  She is now eating and drinking and is happily playing at my side as I type.  My kitten got excellent care, I didn’t have to stress her further by taking her on a long car ride and my pocketbook wasn’t emptied.  Thank God for Critter Care I highly recommend them to all pet lovers in our area.

Can someone please tell me what is going on with the RV's and trailers parked at the Habitat warehouse?  Who is living in them and why?

I agree "C". Those were indeed great years. The long bike rides and the laughs will always be special to me. It was a wonderful time to be us. I will never forget the nights in Daytona on the first trip up for bike week. Damn, life was simple then. I will always hold a special place for you in my heart.

Please remove the ad: Reward for Tortoise. He's been found. Thank you. (Ed: I’ll bet he didn’t get too far.)

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Sunday January 21, 2007

 

Saturday January 20, 2007

To the person disrespecting John Kerry’s time in the service. You are not good enough to shine the boots he served in. He completed an entire tour in Vietnam then volunteered to return for a second tour. During his time in service he was decorated by the military for bravery and there’s one man he pulled from a river when he turned the boat around under fire and is damn glad he was there serving America. Why do you think after the election the Swift Boat veterans disappeared? They were called on their lies and slunk off into the sunset. As for what he said before hearings after the war there wasn’t a lie in there. In fact, he admitted he committed war crimes when he participated in free fire incidents, and to be honest with you I’m glad he did.

He brought the war realities back to Americans, but only after he served. You cannot disgrace his service and you cannot take back the purple hearts and bronze stars he received. And don’t even try to say he put himself in for them. That ridiculous myth has been debunked and found to be pre-election BS.

Quit spitting on Americas veterans. It’s become the new Republican mantra when someone disagrees with them and it’s disgusting. America has seen thru the Republican party dog and pony show and has voted accordingly.

Thank You John Kerry, Al Gore, Wesley Clarke, John McCain and other Americans for your service no matter what party you belong to.

I understand now you have to make up some ridiculous retort to this but America knows.

Hello Beautiful People and Paradise.  I'm a native Michigander who has had the good fortune of currently living in a pleasant New England state.  This week I'm back in Michigan resolving family matters, with a beatific attitude.  The reason I write is I just spent an enjoyable evening with a friend from the neighborhood, smoking and drinking and having a wonderful time. And at 3:00 in the morning, after partying through a snow storm, the only thing I can think of is how I 'm going to bring my childhood friends down to the Keys and spoil them.  Not only do I have the good fortune of not living in Detroit anymore, I also, several years ago, purchased 2 homes in the Keys - one on BPK and another on LTK.  And I look forward to the day that I bring 10 friends and family and have a great time.  Unfortunately, I don't get to spend as much time in the Keys as my spirit desires.  But I have been affected by the people of that region.  And I find you all to be so much more pleasant and more positive than this web site would suggest.  Until I have the pleasure of seeing my neighbors of Eden Pines or Coral Shores, Adieu, Aloha, and Hey!

P.S. The family matters I am resolving is that of the recent passing of my father.  In the last 10 years, some of the best moments we spent together were in the Keys. Thank all of you.  I had hoped he would move down to BPK, but to no avail.  Live life while you can.

P.P.S. I realize my cup runneth over, when I say I have 2 homes, and I apologize.  But I am a blue collar kid who has worked hard.  And Good Fortune has smiled upon me and my wife.

Last post script. As I write this, I am a 40 something kid who is bopping along to Woody Herman.  Amen.  Man, that’s good stuff. Peace, Love, and Happiness 

Why does everyone who writes to this site who doesn't like something want to make it illegal or pass a law against it? Can you just imagine how many laws there would be if everyone got there spoiled ways? For every new law put on the books there should be two laws taken off the books.

The risk of dieing in a car crash if you drive with a 16 year old and an 80 year old are the same. Eek!

Pigeon Key only gets about ten visitors a day and yet they are going to build a 3 million dollar bridge to get there. And all of a sudden the island is under attack for safety violations, etc. From my experience living in the Keys for so long I would say that the developers have their eye on Pigeon Key and are trying to force its sale so it can be developed.

That's what happened to Houseboat Row in Key West. Developers wanted to build condos across the street, but couldn't sell them for a million dollars with the derelict houseboats there--so they got rid of them!

Big Kudos to the writer who wrote: "There comes a time in a woman's life where you need to give up certain things."  I couldn't agree more.  If people don't like what they see in public close their eyes or don't go out in public where they might see such things.  If they want to see hard bodies with fake boobs buy a Playboy.  I, for one, am a guy who admires women getting up there in age and are still comfortable wearing a bikini or even a thong.  Ladies what beach are you tanning at?  Can I play lotion boy?

Anyone into mountain biking? I prefer indoor sports! 

[I've never seen such horrible English. The Commissioner satire was pure garbage] Sorry for the English, but as far as the Commissioners I have very little faith in them.  The English professor that posted this response must be new to the Keys or has some real deep pockets.  Professor, email me next year when your butt's swollen and raw from getting screwed by your government.




[Conch Rag] Do me a favor and get a life. If you have so much to say about me, which of course is wrong, then meet me at your crappy little Chart Room and settle it there. I’m 63 but I’m sure I could take your lazy butt. Give me a time and I’ll meet and beat you there!

Perhaps someone can tell me what I am missing about the sudden "new" idea of Big Pine Key commercial development. I thought it was decided after 6 plus years of meetings that the residents of Big Pine had compromised enough to get the land use plan approved--which it was, but suddenly a new proposal to change the plan appears as if by magic at the planning commission. Who is behind this, is it legal let alone moral to do this, and who will really benefit? Please tell me.                           



God and politics. I tell you here and now that if you don't like God mixing with politics, then you need to take that up with God. I wish you better luck than I had…Sloan's Space

This just in: Iraq had zero to do with 9/11. Enjoy today’s Republican specialty, Kool-Aid.

The media didn’t make Bush a moron and it didn’t make Clinton an adulterer. They did it all by themselves.

[Look out illegal aliens] Eventually, robots will have to be given legal rights (and accept certain responsibilities) if advances in artificial intelligence (AI) continue to create sensitive quasi-organisms, according to a paper solicited for Sir David King, the UK's chief scientist. According to one AI researcher, "If (robots are) granted full rights, states will be obligated to provide full social benefits to them including income support, housing and possibly robo-healthcare to fix the machines over time." A December Financial Times report on the paper noted that robots might also have to pay taxes and be available for military service. (Some of the ideas in the paper track visions described years ago by writer Isaac Asimov.)

[Pigeon Key] Why bring it up to code now? It's been there longer than any of us. It sounds to me somebody's pockets are getting lined again. Could it be Code Enforcement?






I was down at a convenience store near Key West when I realized one of the guys who worked there looked just like Big Gay Al on South Park. Another prime example of life imitating art (whoever that is).

Someone asked if we would rather have Clinton back with his cigar over Bush and his antics.  Let’s look at it from an intelligent point of view.  Clinton = a little sex out of his marriage.  Bush = thousands and thousands of dead Americans over a war that we have no business being in and a country in civil war. Which is better, sex or killing Americans?  Bring Bill back with Monica as Vice President.



Foods that heal
. http://www.tqnyc.org/NYC063364/beneficial.htm

Pigeon Key is an historic site. Hands off!

Create and share a map Wayfaring


We have been here for three weeks and have not seen a single iguana.  Is it just the wrong season of have they all been killed?

To my friend who served in Iraq, I would much rather read your submissions for hard info than any other source from the front. It means I would be accessing the same source as the reporter, and without the reporter's refracting interpretations. Keep it coming, 'cause it's mostly the only worthwhile reading here. I'm loving it.

To anyone who resents references of events in American history to make a point. The best way to know where you are, is to study where you came from. It gives perspective. Otherwise you are floating around ungrounded. This country did not happen by accident. It was hard fought for, and hard won. And the life and freedom we enjoy, was by the grace and blood, and guts of folks who would be disappointed to know all Americans wouldn't be as willing to fight for what they did. It has created an environment where hard work can get you a house, and a decent quality of life. Maybe you don't think it's worth it. If so, I'm sure that to you, there never has been a war worth fighting, which, well, shoots your credibility in the ass.

I don't think I could ever call anyone who served, a fool; it kind of twists my guts.


Most people that code enforcement catch think it is their right to do whatever they want. They think they are better than everyone else and the rules aren’t for them. Then when they get caught, they look for someone to blame, instead of the idiot that was doing the project in the first place.

A Vietnam veteran had the nerve to tell the Iraqi veteran he knows nothing then had the nerve to mention free will and intelligence in the same sentence!  Now, I must throw in my two cents.  My husband is also an Iraq veteran.   His father and my father are Vietnam vets.  My husband shows nothing but respect to those two men for the service they gave in an unpopular war and he would never, ever say anything bad about them.  In return, they are 100% respectful to their son for his service.  That's how soldiers act.   I know nothing about war, but from listening to them talk even I can figure out that today's war is nothing like the past.  Because I know this, I must question whether or not your role in Vietnam is factual.  You sound like a poser using a past war to spread propaganda.  Well, you've been exposed.  Go back to selling your orchids, feeding your cats, or whatever it is you really do.


I also was riding my bike with my girlfriend on the Seven Mile Bridge the other day when a car rushed by and someone screamed out, "Hijo de la gran puta."  I guess they were French Canadians saying hello or something!

I sent Fidel a get dead card today via the Cuban Embassy here. It said “I hope you die soon you communist son of a bitch.” And “Go to hell!”

The Pirate Wellness Center is still going open for business but the construction process will delay the opening for about another 8 weeks or so.

January 19 was the anniversary of the Zimmerman telegram where in 1917, British spies intercepted a coded German message to Mexico encouraging them to launch a combat offensive against the southwestern United States in case America went to war against Germany.  The Germans promised financial and combat support and said Mexico could keep recaptured land that had become Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah, and Colorado after the Mexican-American War. 

Remarkably, one of the reasons Mexico declined the alliance was because they had no way to administrate the large English-speaking population after the war!



[7 mile bridge love] I’m old and got all choked up reading of young love and the top of the world feeling that I’ll never have again and my lost youth (sob).

Sixth Annual No Name Race / 5K walk-Run on February 24th which begins at 8:00am.  For more info or to download an application form visit: http://www.southernmostrunners.com/applications/NN-App-07.pdf  Bulletin Board

Great response to the glaring street light question from yesterday. If you live in civilized society, you must sometimes put up with things like that, or barking dogs that wake you up. I had a street light that was annoying me, keeping me from seeing the night sky, etc. I figured out when street traffic was lightest so I couldn't get caught, then shot the light out with a pellet gun. They never replaced that annoying light. www.utahskies.org/lightpollution/

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas.  Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. Beware of all Muslims.


[please identify the common name for this fragrant native tree] It looks like Blackbead to me. Pithesillobium keyensis (sp) Do the branches end in leaves that remind you of Mickey Mouse ears or rabbit ears?

I'm friends with everyone too--to their faces

The more religious a person is, the faster I run away from them after observing their actions which usually violate one or more of the Ten Commandments.  Jesus, if they don't get the elementary commands, their Church / Temple cannot help them one little bit.     



Arrested Handyman
on charges of assault and using a weapon.  Karma online.  I was expecting it to be an arrested for burglary.  Stand by.  Do they arrest people like this who are unlicensed contractors on probation? 

[Manny James] Whoa, there is a blast from the past.  Thought he disappeared with the long lost Key West fire chief, Bum Farto; or in the drug busts in the 70s-80s.  Do tell more.

[Biker on 7 mile bridge] Dude, you are a lucky man! I remember being the one on the back of the bike, riding like the wind, in Central FL, kissing my man on the neck and telling him how much I loved him, while smelling nothing better in the world, than the orange blossoms, and being so much in love. What a fantabulous time in my life! Thank you ever so much, K, I still love you.

All this complaining and bitching about The Chart Room is getting old.  If you don't like the place don't go there.  It seems everyone complains about it but returns again and again.  There are hundreds of bars in town.  I am sure everyone can find one that is up to their standards. 

The good news is that we can have an excuse to have extra drinks.  We had to try another bar, looking for that perfect place.  We weren't out to get drunk.  We were experimenting.

Hi ya Darli', love, Manny.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Saturday January 20, 2007

 

Friday January 19, 2007





I am going across the 7 mile bridge on my bike. My lady on back pressed tight with her arms around me. She kisses my neck and whispers in my ear "I love you". Wow, I have never been happier!

Yesterday’s reference of an unscrupulous lawyer referred to M.J. as the lawyer. Did he mean Manny James? Does Mr James still live on Big Pine?

[Glairing lights from neighbors’ houses] No, they can even point them at your bedroom window if they would like. They may be protecting their property from criminal mischief. Criminals seem to do their dirty work at night. You might want to consider living off the grid. You will then have no neighbors to complain about. It is tough for some to live in tightly packed neighborhoods as we have in the Keys. When you live in a small neighborhood with only ten feet between houses you have to be both courteous to your neighbor and accepting of their simple annoyances. If not you will find that your neighbor has many non-criminal ways to have some fun with you. Live and let live. You might just have to buy some thick blinds or simply ask your neighbor to tone down the lights. He probably is not trying to annoy you. You should give your neighbor enough respect to ask him or her to help solve the issue before getting code or the fuzz involved.

Salaried employees don’t usually get overtime even if they are the County Administrator.


Could someone please identify the common name for this fragrant native tree? They don’t bloom for long, but they smell like fine perfume.

Your wife has a social life, you just don’t know about it.

[John Kerry Lover]  Serving with honor and serving are two different things. Just because he was there doesn’t mean he served with honor.  He proved that later.

There comes a time in a woman's life where you need to give up certain things. I say never! If this makes her feel good; if the sun feels good on her body, why not? If they don't like it; don't look at it. The older I get, the more I feel, suppressed by the consensual societal disproval of the aging body. What should I do, crawl under a rock? Time's caress is not so gentle on some of us. It is not an equal opportunity thing. The genetic matter we generate from is a crap shoot. You work with what you got.  This getting older is another humbling experience brought to us by our sponsor. Let's enjoy ourselves; it's later than we think!

Nigeria's People's Democratic Party started screening candidates in December to run for president this year, ranking applicants on the following criteria: patriotism (10 percent), integrity (15), ethnic neutrality (10), knowledge of law (10), tolerance (5), transparency (10), knowledge of development (10) and leadership qualities (15)(Arithmetic ability was not a criterion.)  Much like American politicians.



Tomorrow, Saturday, January 20th 1:00-5:00pm  Benefit for Bob Howard at the Moose lodge in Big Pine.  Bob Howard is a long time resident who has been suffering from serious medical problems for the past few years. Funds raised will go to help with medical expenses and other living expenses.  We will have raffles, prizes, pig roast, wild quail, fresh catfish, cold beer and live music.  Please come out and show your support!
Bulletin Board

[mainstream media are all in cahoots and are making stuff up to make our President look bad] Yeah, that's pretty much what it looks like. 100% negative coverage.

I love the rants and rave section of the new Fl Keys Craiglist. Unedited, tell it like is board. Thanks to whoever posted here and let me know about it.


The Democrats’ war in Iraq must be stopped. When are they going to cut funding and stop endorsing the president’s surge? Speeches don’t count.

On Sunday, Sloan said that both he and Condoleezza Rice are from Birmingham, Alabama and he’s ashamed to admit it.  1) Then why did he?  2) With that logic, Osama bin Laden and I are both from planet earth.



The inspiration for the first McDonald's Drive-thru.

[All you anti-war people]  If you want to roll over and play dead, be my guest.  Quit trying to make the rest of us do the same.  You guys are the first to cry when something happens here in the U.S. and want to know how the government could let that happen.  Or worse yet, you call it a government conspiracy.  You guys know nothing about defending yourselves, let alone defending other people.  Keep your nose out of the military.  Also we have an all volunteer military.  They don’t make people join. If you have the Idea that going to war is not why people join the military, you just prove my earlier point about defending others.  Kudos to the Iraq vet.

Hmmm...weapons of mass destruction?  How do we determine what a WMD is?  How many must die to qualify a weapon as one of mass destruction?  Must WMD be declared to the UN?  Do WMD always appear to be such?  Are they labeled "bomb" or "chemical warfare"?  Can everyday things become weapons?  And worse, weapons of mass destruction? 

I learned on 9/11 that terrorists could be very creative in the WMD department.  I realized that weapons of mass destruction are all around us at all times.  I realized that a madman or woman can utilize just about anything in this world to accomplish mass destruction.  

I am reminded every time I look up and see an airplane; that in the wrong hands, it can become a WMD.  Every tractor trailer on the road, every gas station, every oil tanker and so on and so forth.  The possibilities are really limitless for the tireless terrorist enabled by the obsolescence of sanity that their world has propagated.

To this American, it seems inconsequential that no WMD were located.  We are surrounded by technology that can be misappropriated at any time.  As far as I can see, they don't need to have them or declare them.  They only need the willingness to destroy and this has been demonstrated.

Mass destruction of our confidence is the ultimate price.  It has overlapped into our whole existence.  Depressing it is; not only for our zeitgeist but economically as well. 

How can we not "stay the course"?  We as a nation, we as a world, already have enough hanging over us.  The world would be best served to move beyond this.  I don't want it to be a blight on my grandchildren's future too.  




Bush, Bush. Would you rather have Clinton running the show again. The Cigar budget sure would have to go up.

I also say kudos to Ann of the Key Deer Refuge for this manual thinning of the areas around homes.  This is the way all of our islands' fuel load should be controlled, rather than through those ridiculous prescribed burns, which kill pretty much everything living in the area burned.



I wish everyone would proofread their musings...I've never seen such horrible English. The Commissioner satire was pure garbage.

I would like to apologize for not mentioning Rumsfeld when I blamed the Generals for Iraqi blunders.  I agree he is not an innocent party here.  I think some of you focused on something that was not my intent to convey.  When I said Generals run the wars that did not mean they make all the calls.  But, if you think a man sitting at a desk in the U.S. has total and complete control over every battlefield decision on the other side of the world, then you are truly the fool.  The 70's were 30 years ago.  Modern warfare has changed a little since then.  And as for Wesley Clark, if you think the Allied Commander of NATO forces in Europe never had anything to do with Iraq, there's really nothing I can say to help you.

I would like to point something else out as well.  I am not saying Bush never made any bad decisions.  If  I could go back to the Cuban Missile Crises.  Kennedy made a very bad decision that led to many deaths and embarrassment for the U.S.  It was called the Bay of Pigs.  But, despite that terrible decision, the end result was something that may have saved many lives and our country.  Let this play out.  You may find that this war is in the best interest of our country.

As for the WMD statement, get over it.  Ask the people in that Kurd village Hussein gassed about WMD.  Oh wait, they're dead.  Get a grip here.  The guy did have WMD and we all know it.

One last thing.  Someone flamed me and was ignorant enough to accuse me of making "Republican" excuses.  My friend, I am Independent.  I'm getting sick and tired of people bashing one another just because of their political affiliation. That's just childish.



Dear Ed: I agree. I believe everything I read on this site.

[To the person bashing the Iraq veteran] You seemed to be making valid points right up until you mentioned WMD and 9/11.  That statement shot your credibility to hell.  I then re-read your posting and realized you were actually the fool you were trying to call the veteran.  You had a good way of wording things, but only exposed yourself as the troll.  Every government on this planet knew he had WMD.  It was proven he had WMD not only by the world's intel, but by Saddam himself.  Just because we can't figure out what he did with them doesn't mean he didn't have it.

Top ten reasons why living in the Keys is like screwing a fat chick:
       1: You're going to sweat
       2: You're going be yelled at a lot.
       3: You might get a smoke break every now and then.
       4: The customer is always right.
       5: Don't visit the raw bar.
       6: There's always a messy clean-up and wipe-down
       7: Always an all-you-can-eat special
       8: Smells like the ocean.
       9: You don't want your friends to know where you work.
       10: Everybody knows where you work.

[Iraq veteran] So let's see where we're at in this Iraq tate a' tate with the "one" that was there. Son, you're a fool no more or no less than those defending you. I do not respect compliance over free will and intelligence. Vietnam taught me that. You're lucky to have come home with all your limbs. Don't even speak to me about facts you know nothing about. Here's one thing you won't hear Rush or Shawn talk about: Those that sent you to Iraq, when questioned about WMDs never found , no Al Quada presence or 9/11 connection like to talk about the 30,000 Kurds Saddam gassed. So getting rid of him was worth 3,000+ Americans--so far! Ask a Bushy about deaths in Iraq since we've been there and they say its Iraqi’s killing Iraqi’s. Religious factions in Iraq have always killed other factions. Saddam was a name on a faction killing another faction. In 2006 alone, Bush's strategy caused 35,000 Iraqi deaths with another 36,000 wounded.

Impeachment in 2007 or hanging if you prefer.

New Online Column, The CONCH RAG, Interviews the Chart Room Hater! Yesterday, we had a telephone interview with Mr. Wacky McCrackers: Chart Room Hater, Peanut Barrel-phobe, and suspected armadillo molester. We at The CONCH RAG bring you the transcript of that interview:

CR: Hello? Mr McCrackers?
McCrackers: *fumbling sound*
CR: Hello? Wacky? Are you there?
McC: *more fumbling* (faintly) hello? hello?
this went on for several minutes until Mr. McCrackers finally figured out which end of the phone to speak into.
McC: Yes? Who is this?
CR: Mr. McCrackers, I am with The CONCH RAG. I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions about your ongoing feud with the Chart Room and its peanut barrel.
McC: And what paper are you with?
CR: No paper. The CONCH RAG is an online column viewed through the auspices of BPK.com.
McC: That is a terrible name for a column. But I would like to set the record straight.
CR: I thought you would. Now, what is your beef with the peanut barrel at the Chart Room?...
Long Winded Tomes






Sniff...Sniff...sniff. I smell blue grass in the air!

I personally don’t know Tom Willie, but what I have read and heard I am not a supporter of him like so many others.  Maybe you should take the time and investigate the facts before writing such a foolish letter.

Newspapers can’t just write anything they want about anyone without facts.  How long has Tom lived in the Keys? Are you related or do you still have your home and are not evacuating? I've been in the Keys since 1976; anytime you want to talk about changes let me know.  The Keys are one of the most beautiful places. Let’s keep it that way and stop the condo's

[To the Iraqi soldier]  You have done a great justice here.  By now, you should realize that some people are too stubborn to see that you are just telling it like it is.  This is Big Pine.  No offense to Piners, but most don't have a clue when it comes to affairs beyond this rock, let alone international affairs.  You've won.  Quit while you are ahead.  These people are too closed-minded to see things any other way. 

[As for the mainstream media comment]  This seems to have blossomed out of control.  If my memory serves me correctly, this started when the soldier pointed out that we are not as hated by Iraqis as the media portrays.  Some people seem to be reading what they want into something that wasn't there to begin with.

Condolences and suggestion. I attended the evening public input part of Tuesday's County Commission meeting, and as I listened to what the speakers and county commissioners and county attorney and other county staff said, my mind felt like it was turning into a pretzel . . .Sloan's Space

[FIRM Action Alert] This needs to be done today!  Please send emails on this matter.
Subject: We are asking you to please support Senate Bill S 0004A 
Copy: We appreciate you taking a stand for Florida's citizens and to use your influence to keep all the consumer-friendly provisions from the Senate bill S 0004A alive.

I am one of the many voters and residents of Florida pleading with you to do the right thing during your special session on insurance.  Skyrocketing property insurance premiums are driving my friends and neighbors out of this beautiful state.  I do not want to follow them.  Please, do not succumb to the temptations of the insurance lobbyists.  Remember that you represent all the people of Florida who elected you , and we need you to help us.

Please send e-mails to: Governor Charlie Crist: charlie.crist@myflorida.com and Lt. Governor Jeff Kottkamp Jeff.Kottkamp@myflorida.com
Go to these links and send to HOUSE & SENATE also
The HOUSE members need to be pushed http://www.ccfj.net/HOUSEaddresses.htm
The SENATE members need to be thanked for their continued support http://www.ccfj.net/SENATEaddresses.htm
Thanks to all our FIRM members who support our efforts.



I'm friends with everyone

[prescreening a girl’s date] Not a bad idea, it might even work for guys looking for a date.

[To the Viet Nam Veteran] You don't have a monopoly on smarts, son! Have you ever heard of the Joint Chiefs, they are the president’s advisors on military matters. Unfortunately there are yes man among them (it has been a long time since the US produced a General Officer like Billy Mitchell) the president bases his decisions on their advice. So if you are told that a hundred thousand troops can do the job, what are you going to do? Double it, triple it? Wesley Clark didn't get the name "Perfumed Prince" for nothing. Why don't you go and expose yourself on the corner of US 1 and Key Deer Blvd?

I'd like to complain about the person complaining about all the people complaining about Tom Willie. Innocent until proven guilty is only for a court of law. This is the BPK Gossip Column where rumor, innuendo and just plain ole bad mouthing rules.

Pigeon Key has about 10 people a day that come out to see what's there according to the Citizen.   A while ago someone said there were thousands. In either case they sure are hard to see from the highway.  It's also hard to see putting 30 million dollars into the bridge when the government can't come up with funds for fire stations and sewers.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Friday January 19, 2007

 

Thursday January 18, 2007

To the Iraq veteran who thinks he has all the answers to Bush's folly.  Son, you are a fool.  You say presidents don't run wars. They sure as hell ran the one I was in back in 1972.  And you say Bush wanted more troops, but all we have heard for the past two years from the administration is that troop strength is about right.  Of course the senior military, being more interested in career preservation rather than telling the truth, nod their collective heads like puppets, at least until they retire and then go on a tirade against Bush.  The one general you tried to blame, Wesley Clark I assume, was never part of the Iraq debacle.  He was in Bosnia, so I can only assume that you were hoping to lash out at a democratic presidential candidate.  You are exposed, you don't know what you are talking about, and your happy face crap about Iraq begs the question about what happened to the WMD or the 9/11 connection that didn't exist.








[Gay turtle?] Reward for missing Red Footed Tortise. 16-18 inches long, red spots on legs. Sands, Ave B area, but may have wondered farther. Part of a breeding pair and his mate misses him! Please call 872-5658 or 743-7099.

I appreciate the info from the Iraq veteran.  It's great to get first hand information from someone who has been there, done that, and really thinks things through.

Am I missing something? Is the consensus in the Keys that it is more accurate to listen to an Iraqi soldier’s opinion of the war then the mainstream media? The mainstream media are all in cahoots and are making stuff up to make our President look bad? Is that the thinking around here? Scary.

[Cuban aliens get $10,000, no taxes, and free medical benefits when reaching the US] Please let me know where you came up with this information.  I think there are about 100 different variations of this urban legend. The Feds do not give Cubans $10K for arriving here. They are required to pay taxes just as everyone else is. When I first heard this urban legend I was livid. Instead of blindly repeating the legend, I did some research. I have found no information that supports anything as absurd as a $10K pay out, or any of the other often talked about perks for making it to the USA.  I did find that there are several Cuban groups in South Fl. that help new arrivals with cash, housing and other needs. They are all privately funded--not taxpayer’s cash. 

Kudos to Ann of the Big Pine Refuge for inviting the Division of Forestry to help with the fire hazard we have on our island.  The fire fighters are from  the Bureau of land management --Jackson Hotshots from Jackson Mississippi. They travel to help clear areas around personal homes in an effort to protect us from wildfires.  They show concern for the forest by thinning to allow the trees to spread a canopy for the wildlife and keep it clear of debris.  What a great job they are doing.

Typical soldier’s opinion: Don’t believe the media unless it supports his personal view. The Iraq veteran’s opinion that “Presidents don't run wars.  The field Generals run the wars.” reinforces my statement that soldiers have a limited view of any conflict they are called to serve in. I could site examples of why generals don’t run modern American wars, but to be brief, let me point out that General McArthur was fired for trying to run the war against President Truman’s orders. Truman was running the war. Presidents are the general’s boss and generals do what they are told of they get fired.

The statement that 70 percent of Sunnis support attacks on U.S. troops came from Fareed Zakaria in his January 8 Newsweek column. (Please don’t bore us by trying to discredit Newsweek or Mr Zakaria or any other source you disagree with except Rush Limbaugh.)

[WARNING: contains fellatio] The truth about gaming. http://uploads.ungrounded.net/196000/196510_Son_of_a_Peach_.swf



Cold heart!

I want to got to Cuba through Mexico soon. Then when Castro dies and the 2nd Mariel boat siege begins I can be in it and land on Key West docks and get $10,000 and free medical benefits tax free. (just kidding, except for the 2nd Mariel boat siege!)

[20 minute oil change and they come to you. Phone 296-lube]  Is that really the number or was this writer poking fun at them?  It sounds like the number to a homo escort service.

There are quite a few entertainers with unique voices who sell their music because they manage to package it well.  If you actually listen to their voices you wonder why they ever thought they could sing, but the overall presentation is still pleasant listening.  Stevie Nicks fits that description.  (Also, she is not hard to look at.) Rod Stewart, Tom Petty, what's-his-face Bolton, the gal with Bette Davis eyes, etc.

Somebody is sure obsessing over the Peanut Bucket in the Chart Room.  I think they should apply for landmark status.

[Bubba system] The bad part about code enforcement is if you are a friend of an officer, he/she will look the other way to your project. But in the meantime, they are out making sure other people doing the same thing have to follow the rules.

"It is conceivable that there will be a world in which radical forms, extreme forms of religion fight each other for influence in the Middle East, in which they've got the capacity to use oil as an economic weapon. " --President 2006

Why is it that the most technologically advanced country in the world can't figure out how to find a better fuel source? Oh, wait, I know!

My wife says she has no social life down here. Should I be worried?

Is a troop surge the same thing as escalating the war or is it doublespeak? It looks like Bush isn’t listening to the voters and is staying the course after all! He’s too dumb to change his mind.

[Finally Exposed] With the aid of our secret service’s ultra low density, somewhat fully capable surveillance cameras, we have caught on film, for the first time ever, the always eluding, leaders of the notorious Big Pine Coffee Country Club. This photo, (un-touched) cleared by the Moroccan government, has been issued in 64 continents, 23 different countries, 14 Provinces, and of course to local Monroe County Sheriffs to find out once and for all just who lies beneath the dark cloakness of this local band of misfits. If anyone knows of the identity of these so called "Grandees", please do not attempt to confront them yourself, although on the outside, they may seem docile, they can be very, very misleading, but please, and we repeat, do not under any circumstance, try to approach these masterminds on your own. Please notify your local identifying branch at once and wait for further instructions. We are pleased to announce we do have this situation monitored, we are watching it very carefully, we understand that membership has been on the rise for quite some time now, and before it involves the entire island, which to our understanding and local informants, is rapidly approaching, we are here to do something about it. What that exactly is, we aren’t too sure of right now, but we are here, and we wont spare any of the tax payers expense tracking and exposing more of this clubs activities. Until next report, be safe, and be on alert. BPCCC 


Another week goes by and Injade is back at the Looe Key Tiki Bar, except this weekend they're playing on Saturday night. So if you want to have some great fun this weekend, and you only allow yourself one night a weekend to party, make that night Saturday night, for the best rock 'n roll and friendly vibin' fun with the greatest bunch of local folks around. See you there!

A cross between a Negro and a Caucasian, like Obama, is called a mulatto, not a zebra.

Somebody is burning wood or trash at night on Cudjoe Key. It is either a fireplace or a trash burn and it is blowing through the whole island stinking up the place. This should be illegal.

[2006 Darwin Award Winner] The late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the  great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica  concert at the George Washington amphitheater.

Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine-foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence. The plan was for Mr. Pernicky, 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over.

Unfortunately for the late Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly broken, along with his arm, by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts.  Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his next fall  he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to  free himself from the tree.

Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.

Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the  pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him.

Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.



Is there a law in Monroe County or Florida that forbids glairing lights from neighbors’ houses that keep me awake all night? They should be off when not in use or shrouded so they don't bother people. Street light too.

Kudos to the person yesterday that explained that living in the Keys is a very unique and special part of the world.  Beautifully said, and so true!  Thank you!

Influx of people?  Just where were you born—New York?

The media reported that Osama was born in Hawaii.



We had 6 boxes of Girl Scout cookies last week. There’s only 1 box left. Mmmm, they are good.

If you have an account with 1st State Bank check you account for fraudulent charges.  They had a problem and are doing their absolute best to correct it in a quick manner.  Someone in Rome got some numbers and I don't mean your bookie!

Thank you very much to the soldier who keeps putting the mis-informed in their place.  I know that what you are saying is true.  A very good friend of mine was in Iraq, and is now stationed in Afghanistan.  I get 2 to 3 e-mails a week from her.  It's amazing how much her stories differ from what I hear in the news.  For every bad experience, she has at least a dozen good ones.



Rice
for president!

Let's talk about garbage, not the kind that you or the trash truck hauls to Mt. Trashmore, no, the kind that live among you on Big Pine Key. This is a personal experience. I was in need of a lawyer and M.J. was recommended to me. They had me cold. I pleaded guilty. I just needed a lawyer to go thru the motions, arrange bail, ect. M.J. arranged the bail,  went to the pretrial, went to the sentencing with me, and was paid what he asked. After, when I was off to prison, he went to my mother and told her that he needed $5000 more and this money will be returned by the court when I am released. My mother died in 2004 (may she rest in peace). I found the letter among her papers that she wrote to M.J. in which she inquired about when she will get back the $5000. I never found a reply. That's the kind of ˙garbage I'm talking about.

I just saw "Geraldo at large". He had bit on the escape artist jerk at Mallory Square. Geraldo interviewed Will Soto, Margarita Guy, other sunset performers, and cops. All said guy was a real jerk. He would not tell cops or the camera how he did it. The cops said 60 plus days in jail plus $60,000 fine for costs of rescue attempt. Like Capt Magic said, “A for sure dumb ass.” You sure were right, Capt!

[Commissioner satire http://keylargokey.com/countycommistioner.htm
--Govwatch05@netscape.com

[Date prescreening] If Bars would only put in one computer and their customers could pay, say, ten bucks to look up their new hottie and see their priors, it would save a lot of time, energy and wasted new outfits and a French Manicure / Pedicure.  It's not smart to date men with prior Assault and Batteries, Restraining and Eviction Orders.  Right?  Maybe a mail-order-man from another Country is in the cards.  He doesn't even have to speak English, just as long as it knows how to grill the fish, drive the boat, fix stuff, walk the puppy and uh...


[About ROGO points] It’s really easy to build in Monroe County if you’re an Einstein, have the patience of Job and the money of DuPont.
http://www.monroecounty-fl.gov:80/Pages/MonroeCoFL_growth/Tiermaps/The%20ROGO%20Updater.pdf

Can the ladies who work in the Marathon building department accept gift certificates?

I love it when the very people who voted for Bush repeatedly say over and over "listen to the soldiers not the media" then they continue on and try and discredit John Kerry, Al Gore, John McCain when they feel it suits them and even former General Wesley Clarke. All of them have served this country with honor. Make up your minds. Why not just admit it, republicans? What you’re trying to say is, "only believe what suits you and fits your agenda"?


Freeze Warning in the Desert!   It's not always warm in The Valley of the Sun, (Phoenix, Az).  This is how they protect Cactus Plants.  The freeze this week has killed thousands of unprotected plants

Personally, I'd believe the media (except FOX) before I'd believe the Bush administration about anything.

Thank you to those who posted information about the mobile oil change services. I also wish the guy well, who wants to open a 10 minute oil change shop here. I hope you find a place to lease – we need you!





17 year old farm hottie
. http://d21c.com/terri1/caroline.swf

All you that are complaining so much about Tom Willie should actually investigate the facts before you go trashing him. I believe in this country. A person isn't guilty of something until he or she is actually convicted of something. Innuendo and suspicion are only that.

What Tom Willie is actually doing in the county is shaking it up and trying to make it function better by provide better service for our community. People everywhere can't stand change or even the idea of the status quo changing. Much of what we read in newspapers is biased in whatever way the editor or newspaper owner wants it to be. Do we believe everything we read anywhere? Do we believe everything we read on this website? (Ed: I do!)

Something everybody seems to like to disregard is the fact that everybody that works for the County that is required to be here working during or shortly after a hurricane has been paid overtime plus wages for providing emergency management for years. The more hours one works, the higher the wage—the same as everywhere else. I suppose it would serve our community better if all the emergency management people would have stayed in the bars drinking instead of been working on such trivial things as trying to find emergency housing for those whose homes were damaged in the storm; or cleaning up debris from our roadways or other such "trivia". In that case, my husband should have been with me instead of having to be here watching out for you and your families’ safety.

I disagree with the man who served in Iraq when he says the failings were from the Generals not the president.  Sorry, but when you say that you’re blaming the military.  It wasn’t them as much as it was the civilian lack of leadership.  And that’s Bush and Rumsfeld.  I understand your loyalty because I served 6 years myself in the 70s.  Rumsfeld was a cancer on the military in my humble opinion.  Glad to see you made it back safely.

What I hate about some male politicians is their ability to blow on incessantly about a subject and treat us like children.  I believe they think a certain body part grows, the longer they drone on.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Thursday January 18, 2007

 

Wednesday January 17, 2007

If you live in the Keys you should understand that you live in a very unique and special part of the world. The Sea has risen and fallen over the past few million years to give you an island chain that rests upon a once great coral reef system. The environment that took forever to create this land is now being bulldozed and polluted by an influx of people who think they need to live above what the eco-system can handle. It is important to realize that living in the Keys is more like living in a wildlife sanctuary and that the price you pay for living there should be that the environment comes first. There is no need to turn something so unique into a suburban landscape, Suburbia gets old quick and then all you have are large empty buildings with cracked parking lots in disrepair. Preserve what you have before it is too late.

[Casa Marina, not employee friendly] I just have to share this.  If you need to reach anyone at the Casa Marina hotel, a friend, a parent, etc. You will be transferred to an automated recording that says, "We at the Case Marina Hotel do not allow our employees to use their work time for personal calls.  We feel that ..bla bla bla...if you need to contact our employees, call our HR dept. and explain your emergency.   If this is concerning a doctor’s appt. we feel that this is a personal call and you should call them at home."  It was a really long message that showed no regard for treating people like people.  Be glad we’re up the Keys where our employers recognize that we’re people, not their property.  Don't work for the Casa Marina.  How rude!  --JeanR@KEYSBANK.COM

Girl Scout Cookies go on sale to the public starting Friday, January 19.  There are eight delicious flavors including Thin Mints, Samoas, Tagalongs, Do-si-does, All Abouts, Trefoils, Café Cookies, and the new sugar free flavor, Little Brownies. Cookies cost $3.50 a box and they are only sold once a year so stock up!  Remember, with each purchase you are helping your local Girl Scout troops pay for activities and special trips to the mainland like visits to the zoo, ice skating, camping, horseback riding, or even sleepovers at the Miami Seaquarium.  Donations will also be accepted to purchase cookies to give to the local food pantries. 

Girl Scouts will be selling cookies on most weekends (Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday) until February 11 at the Big Pine Winn-Dixie.  You can also find them on Saturday, January 20 from 10 am to 7 pm at Murray's Food Mart on Summerland Key, Saturday January 27 from 8 am to noon at the Caldwell Banker Real Estate Office on Big Pine Key and at the Big Pine Flea Market, Sunday, Saturday, February 3 from 9 am to 1 pm at the Big Pine Restaurant and at Terry Cassidy's Super Bowl Party on Big Pine Key.

Cookies can also be found at Nadine's Salon and Day Spa, Cudjoe Key and Blue Water Printing on Summerland Key.

A friend keeps telling me he has no social life. Is this an insult?

Paint your house on the weekend or pay someone to do it on the weekend. Whenever you see a neighbor that turns people into code, yell profanities and flick them off repeatedly or quietly. In my book it is ok to violate unjust laws. The best part is I get to pick which laws are unjust. It’s a great book.

I'm curious.  Where did you get the statistic that 70 percent of Sunnis support attacks on U.S. troops?  Let me guess.  From the media?  Tell me how you know that stat is accurate.  There is no possible way you can know that to be fact.  Let me explain to you how the liberal media puts a spin on things.  About 70 percent of Sunnis in Iraq want the U.S. to withdraw because they feel our presence is fueling insurgency and unrest.  That fact, I think we can all agree on.  The spin the media puts in is that 70 percent of Sunnis support attacking us, which is not true.  They want us gone, not dead.  And the stubborn liberal American public is quick to believe it because it's an excuse to bash our President and the war. 

I made it clear a few days ago that I served in Iraq and I have a little better understanding of things than those who just sit around and believe everything they hear in the news.  At the onset of the war, Pres Bush wanted a higher troop count in Iraq and wanted the "Shock and Awe" to continue in an all-out eradication of Hussein and his supporters.  The plan was a quick withdrawal of the majority of troops only to leave enough necessary to support building the new government and training the new Iraqi Army.  The plan was screwed up by certain 4-star Generals who called the wrong shots in the field, not the President.  One of those Generals then tried to blame Bush in his quest for the Presidency.  But, if all you know about the war is what you hear in the news, you would never know this because it's never been accurately reported.  Here's some info for you.  Presidents don't run wars.  The field Generals run the wars.

Feel free to post some more of your thoughts.  I'd be happy to point out how you're wrong.  Like I said before, maybe you should pick another battle.





That senior pilot making $250k had to be United pre-pay cuts.  Those numbers are ancient history. You need to update your research.

One thing that often puts me off female political candidates is their shrill stump speeches.  I've never heard Condoleezza Rice speak in anything other than a reasonable tone of voice.  Maybe that would change if she were a candidate for something.




"I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." --Woody Allen

[Government in Action] Many voters, and critics in both parties, chided the "do-nothing" Congress as a body tied up in partisanship and divisiveness. However, the Congress did manage to pass 383 pieces of legislation, except that almost 100 of those laws were merely authorizations to name post offices and other federal structures after famous Americans (such as Ray Charles, Ava Gardner and Karl Malden).


Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.  

[Cuban aliens] $10,000, no taxes, and free medical benefits when reaching the US isn't enough.  I hope Castro dies soon so Cuba can open back up to the US.  Hopefully the money that the US citizens pour into the Cuban economy will keep them there.  I know, good luck.



Speaking of grey matter and the Chart Room, did you see the bottom of the peanut bucket? Lots of grey and green matter there. Throw the bucket out! It’s America and we do have health codes here.

Crab Trap Molester: Yatahey: It's a good day to die.

There's nothing wrong with the Code Enforcement Regulations per se. Most communities have several outlandish regulations that are regularly ignored by the local populace. It's the jerks that live in Big Pine that make life miserable for everyone.




--Govwatch05@netscape.com

This Fridays forecast looks great, sunny skies, clear nights, I bet the Tiki will be hopping Friday night.  Let’s all come out and celebrate the weather we’ve been having. Life is sweet, relax and have a great time!

Those derelict Cuban spongers have all but stripped Cudjoe Bay of all sponges. Is there any law that prevents these lowlifes from doing this? Why don't they just deal drugs? - it is less harmful to the environment.  --Lizardfish06@aol.com

Sloan's book Heavy Weight sounds like me waiting for my date at the Cow Palace.

If you believe in what the media says instead of what our soldiers’ say, then maybe you should go over there and let us know what you think is going on. I for one will believe a military member first.

[American Sign Language dude] Is it just me, or does the sign language dude look a lot like Gordon Ross from the MARC House plant store?
Light (although it does look like a gang sign.)

20 minute oil change and they come to you. Phone 296-lube.

[Marine Patrol Officer] I wouldn't believe one if he told me the water my boat was in was wet.

[The illusive $1000 rule] I am pretty much sure you do not need a permit to paint your house, You do need one to paint any commercial property and if you hire a painter he is supposed to licensed. No permit needed for normal maintenance and repairs under $1000. All new development, no matter how much, needs a permit. The best thing to do is call County to make sure. Your PS comment literally had me in tears laughing so hard, thank you for that,  I certainly needed it today. That was a good one.


--
http://www.myspace.com/bigpinegrind

And after all that advise from the Iraq soldier you still want to listen to the media? You would you twit!

I'm reading a book titled "Six Frigates" by Ivan W. Toll, it's about the birth of the US Navy. The US had problems with the Moslems back then. The time was 1803 and Thomas Jefferson was president. During the Adams administration, the Dey of Tripoli exacted a price from the US for not attacking US merchant ships. In spite of appeasement ships were attacked and Americans were made slaves. More than 68 died in captivity. Now the Dey wanted more, Jefferson said f**k you and sent the embryonic US Navy and kicked that raghead’s ass. After that all the other Barbary Coast states stopped exacting a tribute from the USA. Bravo, I say! Death to the islamofachists!

To the person who wants a quick oil change call Lube On the Move they come to you.



The Pakistani strong man Musharraf, that fence sitting sonufabitch. He gets millions from the US in foreign aid and can't get his raghead army to control the passes on his border. Pakistan, 85% of the time, votes against the US in the UN.

[Heavy Wait review] Hi, Captain Conch. Come on, I wrote a bunch of times that the book was a novel. But I lied. It's actually a poem, which is explained at the very end of the introduction . . .Sloan's Space

[What do you call someone who changes the subject of the Iraq war by mentioning Gallipoli and WWII] A typical Republican. It’s like mentioning Saddam every time you mention Osama. Its Republican diversions.



I felt such relief when somebody said Stevie Nicks sucks. I thought I was nuts because nobody else seemed to notice she's missing a very important talent central to her line of work.

[mother insults during a political debate] No worries when you get out of the 3rd grade you will discover that it makes you look foolish. I’m done with you.

Why does someone leave the lights on at Watson Field all night until sunrise? Does anybody know who is in charge of turning them off after a game?

Today I found out that I am a racist. I saw the senator from Illinois, Mr. Obama on CNN and the reporter said that he could be the first black president of the US. Oh, no, no, no! Then there is his name Obama, almost like Osama. He is a Moslem or is it Muslim. There was some more background on him. He is not black, his mama is white. He is a zebra, like Tiger Woods and Jane Kennedy. In any case I would rather see him as President than Hillary or Kerry.  

[oil change shop] I have made several post on here looking for a shop for lease to do just that, a 10 min oil change center. I had owned one in West Palm for 5 years until Wilma decided she would rather have it. We are a family operation with 20 plus years exp, just looking for a building to call home there with all equipment and supplies. I put my name and reputation on the line that you would be happy with our service. So in the meantime if anyone knows of a space for lease please contact me. Allen Swift 561-633-3850 allen_s2@msn.com

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 17, 2007


 

Tuesday January 16, 2007

So the pilot isn’t getting paid for this and that.  What he is getting paid is about $250K a year for a senior pilot at a major airline for flying about 10 days a month.  I know a retired pilot who has an annual retirement income in six figures. 


"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." --Joan Rivers

In the first few months after the US invasion of Iraq, only 14% of the Sunnis approved of attacks on our soldiers. Now 70% do. I’d still rather rely on the mainstream media for my Iraqi news than a soldier who’s been there.

I just finished reading Heavy Wait by local Keys author Sloan Bashinsky. I was surprised that it was a novel. I thought it would be about his God dreams, but it wasn’t. It was quite a good story and well written. I really enjoyed it. I’d really like to know how much of it was truth and how much was fiction. Sometimes the line blurs between the narrator and the main character. I think that’s intentional and provocative. It truly was a “strange tale” of two screwed up people.

1. Depending on the price of the paint job on your house you may very well need a permit to paint your house. Permits are required for any home project according to the price of the project. You would be well advised to confirm with the county that your project is exempt from the permitting requirements. 
2. There are very strict regulations regarding trimming of native vegetation and mangroves in particular.  If you trim indiscriminately around or even over your canal, you might have some serious problems from the myriad of alphabet soup agencies that cover the destruction of the native vegetation. 
3. In this county it is not always cost effective to ask forgiveness rather than permission.

Do you know Jack?  Heard stories? Do you know someone who might have known him?  Please help us spread the word in time to make his biography for the 50th Anniversary of the National Key Deer Refuge! In the 1950s, then Big Pine Key resident Jack Watson was the federal agent in charge of the South Florida Wildlife Refuge, which encompassed everything from…Long Winded Tomes

Undesirable-looking strangers: They are the spongers that live aboard their boats in Pine Channel. And from what I have heard from a Marine Patrol Officer that I have talked to. They probably are casing the place. Just another side benefit from an occupation that should not exist either environmentally, socially, biologically or economically.



Fly India air
- amazing flight attendant service!

[tame a Fox] With the 4 legged variety all it takes is food and caring, but the 2 legged variety takes lots of cash.

The Venture Out complaints sound a lot like those homeowners who awake one day to discover they live near an airport.  One can only assume their realtor showed them the house at 3 am when there was no air traffic.

And now, today’s weather:   A crippling winter storm lashed the central part of the nation with another blast of freezing rain, sleet and snow Saturday, causing widespread power outages and tying up highways and airports.  The storm was expected to continue through the weekend, laying down a coat of ice and snow from Texas to Illinois, where an ice storm warning was in effect through Monday morning.  Farther west, frigid arctic air reached as far south as southern and central California, where plunging temperatures prompted worry about the homeless and crops.

In other news:  Al Gore continues his cross country eco-tour promoting his book on global warming.

Talk about wakey, wakey!  The poster with the fox who moved to Colorado has never lived in the Keys; they're just some of your international audience who enjoy contributing a good story.








The old Burger King ads are pretty creepy, too: the big head King who turned up at awkward moments.  Maybe the King needs a new ad agency.

[No sense of humor detected—installing HumorSense Beta 2.1] That's another terrific graphic that can see plenty of use with these posts!

[crab trap molester] Your threatening memo will only have an impact if you write in Spanish.

[why we moved to Colorado] One nice post and someone has to whine it.

Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig are all just BS. If you really want to lose weight try crack.

Our selected but not elected Mayor supports county staff after allegations of evacuation and budget mismanagement, but has no patience for the citizen who attends meetings on there own time. I wonder why?



I here there’s a New Po’ Boy in Nawlins:  Fried Eagle. Go Saints!

A hamburger can not be a homosexual.  A cheeseburger maybe...

[Chart Room. Change the place or close it down.]  Then leave the Chart Room and simply find a place that suits you. Hating a place and continuing to go there, is a sign there is something wrong in the gray matter department. Else contact the management and file a formal protest. This is America you know!

[Loading film in digital camera] What is film?



[affluent drinkers] Doesn't that mean when they do a shot they hold up their pinky finger?

[Stole from my yard sale] To the lowlife loser that stole a Sony Play Station with games and a Sega Dreamcast with games from my yard sale early Saturday morning at 31323 Avenue F. Who the hell do you think you are? My husband and I are working day and night saving every penny we have to tear down our mobile home and put up a modular home. Our yard sale was to help us get out of our still hurricane Wilma damaged trailer. Someone had the nerve to walk into our yard and steal these games when we weren't looking. I am disgusted with you, and I hope karma punishes you severely!

To everyone else that came by, thank you so much. It was so nice to meet so many of our wonderful neighbors from the Avenues.


I saw a Scissor tailed flycatcher on the fence which separates K West airport from Little Hamaca park last Sunday.

[Crab trap robbers]  I suggest not posting threats. Just kill him. No threats or warnings; they will lead to your arrest.

[affluent people on Summerland] I think buying the Old Bahama Jack's would be good for the affluent people of Summerland. They could make it a private drinking club, then they wouldn't have to whine about sitting next to local working people. Everyone wins.

I always enjoy the ASL (American Sign Language) dude. Thanks for the "word of the day".
Thank you.

Regarding the discussion about Iraq, there is an excellent website that has emails directly from soldiers based in Iraq.  They provide direct, honest, sometimes brutal information.  This site is worth a look and will clear up a lot of misinformation.  But be ready for some tears. Go to http://gocomics.typepad.com/the_sandbox/

If you don’t want to smell the crap from 650 butt holes at Venture Out, then get out of there. Their poop was here way before you; so either enjoy it or leave.


Yesterday marks the 300 year anniversary of Scotland joining with England to form Great Britain. There is a strong movement to dissolve the union on both sides, especially with all the success Scottish decedents have had as quarter-back in the NFL. (McNabb and McNair among others).

I think when you hit the 100 year mark you should be put down. You have lived way to long.

Hey, don't knock Stevie Nicks or I'll kick your ass, she’s the bomb!




I hope everyone enjoyed their MLK Day.  I think we should get an extra day off now that his wife is dead too.

I did not say code enforcement made up rules. It was told to me (akin to gossip) that the reason a certain homeowner was red flagged (or taped or carded or whatever) was that the code says if you do something to your house that would cost over $1,000 you have to get a permit. About 3 or 4 years ago this happened to neighbors, unless they were lying to me which I doubt.   So if you have a "largish" house and you caulk and repair and paint by a good local contractor it would cost more than 1,000 so you have to get a permit!  That's the way it has been explained to me several times.   If I am wrong then I am in the majority of the people around me who believe this to be true!  Personally I just try to hire a really good local contractor and try to spread some cheer. 

P. S. I may break wind now and again but am far from broke! 

Stand up and be heard! When I entered the race for county commission against George Neugent, I was given one mandate by heaven: The Keys can stand no more new development, period the end. Later, I was given a second mandate: Something needs to be done about affordable housing for low-income Keys people . . .Sloan's Space

Since we moved to the Rock there has been no need to take vacations!  What more could a person want? Sun, stars, great boating, fun happy hours, Mile Marker 24 Band, peace, quiet and beautiful nature reserves.  With all the extra money, we go up to the mainland and get first rate,  five star spa treatments at  http://www.reddoorspas.com/  then enjoy a perfect surf -n- turf at Ruth's Chris. It would be fabulous if they would open up shops down here, but until then, we patronize the better establishments and there are very few in our area. It's ridiculous how some places down here dress-up fat dudes in chef coats and they barely have 9th grade educations and no culinary degrees. Some people will eat anything and wash it down with cheap wine.

Plumber with 5 kids that have never seen the ocean from Minneapolis would like to come down and work for trade or whatever for a week or two to let my kids feel your part of the world. I’ve been there once for a week and would love to work on a boat fishing or plumbing at your house it makes no difference. If this would possibly work out for someone call me please. Gary Jerde 763-427-3198. My kids are 6,7, 9, 11,14 and me and my wife are 40. Classified Ads

At least Venture Out has a treatment plant and the waste is not going into the canals.

[Undesirables motoring thru Eden Pines canals]  Worry, it may be the dreaded Eden Pines Property Association.

I live in NJ and I can paint my house whatever color that I want.  While the stink of North Jersey smelled up New York last week the South Jersey Pinelands are protected.  No one but the Jersey Devil can live in there.  Instead of complaining about the laws to protect the beautiful land that you live on (if indeed all of you whiners actually live in paradise) you should respect and protect the unique place you live.  And stop worrying about NJ. 

[Top Ten Reasons For Men to Leave the Keys] A few more reasons:
11) The ratio of men to women here is about 50:1 (State of FLA demographics statistics)
12) The wrinkle rate (prune factor) of women due to sun, smoking and booze is extremely high
13) HIV among single women and/or crack whores in the Keys is rampant
14) Nice single women are afraid to venture out because the snowbird married old farts are always hitting on them



Weight Watchers is a great place to meet fat women. Sign me up.

[Boating Strangers in canal] We live in Port Pine Heights. I tried motion sensor lights and have since gone to a camera. It's a shame we have to do this. Unfortunately it is this time of year that these things happen. That's sad.

I have seen that sign language guy hanging out at the Tiki on Ramrod.



Paris Hilton
is bringing out a new line of clothing. Well, we know it won't be panties.

 

I want to applaud the person who posted the piece on Teddy Roosevelt’s immigrant policy. I strived to assimilate with the American way of life, learned the language and didn't dress like in the old country.

[Smartphone query]  I have a Treo 700p.  I think the main difference is the internet connectivity.  I can download close to high speed.  It also has more memory, a 1 .3 megapixel camera, is Bluetooth enabled and finally, it is more stable than the 650. It's fairly easy to use, but what do you need it for?  If you are not to computer savvy, I won't spend the money on one.  You can probably get one for your needs a heck of a lot cheaper.  If you need it for work, get the 700w.  It is Window based and you would be more familiar with its platform instead of having to learn how to navigate the Palm.

[Being in Iraq] Kudos to you!  Thank you so much for helping set the record straight.  I am weary with those who pontificate their ignorance.  Thanks for serving and speaking out, I appreciate it!




Last year there was a group of friendly people helping with income tax w-2's, etc at the Senior Center here on Big Pine. Does anyone know if they will be coming back to help the people of the Keys?

[military blunders] If the Iraq war is a military blunder, than what would you call the invasion of Gallipoli in WW I. where tens of thousands of troops were lost, not to mention ships and equipment. Or Field Marshall Montgomery’s Operation Market Garden, where the first Britt Para was wiped out. In the recent past, Saddam’s invasion of Kuwait.

I do not know where you get your info. I have not heard of US troops looting. I have seen the Thieves of Bagdad in action.

I have voiced in a posting that in Iraq all persons not in uniform with a weapon should be eliminated with extreme prejudice.

I have a good enough reading comprehension, thank you. I hope your mama runs out from under the porch and bites you on the leg.

This is a suggestion for anyone wanting to start a business on Big Pine Key. We need a 10 minute oil change place. In fact, I would even gladly settle for a 30 or 40 minute oil change. You would have as much business as you could ever want or handle. My only fear is that it would be so busy that it would end up taking two or three hours, just like everywhere else around here. It would be a dream come true if it were also open on the weekend, even if it did take two or three hours.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Tuesday January 16, 2007

 

Monday January 15, 2007

[To set the record straight] You do not need to get a permit to paint your house in Monroe County, and Code Enforcement does not make up any rules, they enforce codes written by county commissioners that were elected by your votes. Seems the wind that was sent to the Tomes page was actually "broke". We live in a sanctuary down here and it’s up to us to protect species and foliage. This is not New Jersey (which exit?). You can also trim any tree that hangs over a canal impeding navigational travel, without a permit.

[Military blunder] Here are two major blunders: Not having enough troops to hold areas already taken. Not ordering the troops to stop the looting of the country. Not disarming private militias. (That third one was bonus for you.) Would you like me to wrote more of Bush's blunders?

Top Ten Reasons For Men to Leave the Keys
1. All the nice women here date younger guys
2. Your favorite girl has a tattoo of Roseanne on her back.
3. They just want your money.
4. Your hair transplant scars look like chicken pox.
5. Your last date got cancelled due to "something important"
6. Snuggling with your cat doesn’t cut it.
7. The good looking women call you "sir"
8. You got no social life.
9. All the hot babes are at the boondocks pig feed.
10. Bruce is sure starting to look good.



I'm so stoned
. I love the Keys.

A statement of fact to educate non-flyers who only get to see the CEO's side of aviation on the television.  Great, another "over paid airline pilot" article. Do you know that when you see a pilot, he's not being paid?
When you see a pilot going through the same security you go through, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot walking in the terminal, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot at the gate pulling up paper work, planning the flight, and conferring with the agent, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot walking around the aircraft doing a preflight inspection, he's not being paid.
When you board the aircraft and look in the cockpit and see the pilots setting up the aircraft, they're not getting paid.



Deer Abby Today!

[To the brain doctor] There are reading comprehension classes at FKCC.

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."
--Albert Einstein




[Condoleezza Rice] The first time I heard it I thought it was a side dish.

The guys digging at the poles, thank God you did not get a play by play of their previous night in Key West which I got an ear load of while washing my car as they were coating the poles!  My life is way too boring.

Here kitty, kitty, kitty!

Now we hear that the County will be as much as $1 million in the hole at the beginning of the 2006-07 fiscal year and as much as $5 million short at the end of the year.  The county clerk wrote a letter to County Administrator Tom Willi stating that in his 30 years of service to the County he has never seen anywhere near such a shortage.

Mr. Willi came to Monroe County trailing a whiff of financial scandal from Davie. He then made a grab for overtime hours he knew he was not entitled to according to his contract, payment for which was rightfully denied. He was certainly directly involved in the irresponsible approval of using county funds (read taxpayer money) for the Vanderburg sinking project and the purchase of a waterfront restaurant.  Then came the news that he misstated evacuation times to the Governor’s office. His office is now apparently being investigated for contract awards and $400,000 in payments for invoices that seem at odds with whatever work was (or was not) performed. Now this latest financial fiasco the burden of which will be ultimately born by the taxpayers.  Mr. Willi is now engaged in the usual finger pointing and is creatively saying that he believes the shortfall is “a paper deficit”  A paper deficit?  Either the money is there or it isn’t.  Which is it Mr. Willi?

Monroe County taxpayers deserve nothing less than complete fiscal responsibility and professional integrity in county management.  Mr. Willi seems to be either unwilling or unable to provide either.   

It is past time for the taxpayers and the County Commission to request that the State Attorney’s Office conduct a thorough investigation and financial audit of the County Administrators office to determine what, exactly, is going on and how, exactly, taxpayer money is being spent. 


Could someone help me! I just got one of those new fangled camera-phones, and I spent eight hours trying to find where I put the film.

I may need a date, but for sure, I wouldn’t look in the Chart Room. I would need to see more then four old men and a bartender. Change the place or close it down.

Hey Northern visitors, meanness is contagious. If you are that miserable go back home and let us locals be mellow.




Fly Eagles fly
, on the road to victory. 
Fight Eagles fight, score a touchdown 1-2-3.
Hit 'em low.  Hit 'em high, and we'll watch our Eagles fly.
Fly Eagles fly, on the road to victory.
E-A-G-L-E-S, Eagles!

That fat picture of Cartman looks like my neighbor's wife and she sun bathes in a bikini. Barf.

[Why we moved to Colorado] What's so much better about having a fox come up to your house in Colorado than having a deer come up to your house on Big Pine?



I was listening to an old Stevie Nicks CD and realized she has a range of about three notes and sounds like a goat. I guess being good looking goes a long way in the entertainment business.

The sewage plant and Venture Out was here long before they had neighbors. I saw air photos of Venture Out in the 60s the other day and there were no homes around Venture Out just canals. Quit bitching or move. 655 families have more right's than surrounding homes which moved in later. Wakey  wakey eggs and bakey!

Beware Port Pine Heights! The crab trap molester is back right on schedule. Same time as last year and the year before. My husband even started screwing down the lids early last season, but to no avail. We had 7 out of 10 traps that the scumbag actually took the time to unscrew! Once again, scumbag, if I catch you there will be no need for FWC. You have been warned!

[Addressing the great happy hours at old Rob’s on Summerland. There are of lot of affluent people on Summerland and Cudjoe that need a good bar. (Square Grouper is a great eating place, but not a drinking place). We don’t want to drive to Ramrod for drinks. The old Bahama Jacks would make a good low key bar that served a little chicken wings, burgers or such.

[The Burger King ad] I agree.  All these new Burger King ads are very strange. I think they are homosexual too.  The new writer of the ads must be gay. The commercials are very man oriented.

Hillary R. Clinton received a new cover name from her security staff. Are you ready: Seldom Ben Laid

[Iraq solution the American way] This solution would never work, it, ironically, makes to much sense.


Any Smartphone experts out there?  What is the difference between the Treo 650 and Treo 750?  Will a computer dummy notice the difference?

Posts like this [why we moved to Colorado] remind me of why I am so happy people like you have left the Keys. Illegal feeding of wildlife creates problems we don't need here. Oh, by the way it is 79 here today with a nice breeze and no snow yet.

For the "I gained so much weight over the holidays that I feel like Cartman" person.  If you really want to lose weight with a safe, healthy diet, there are Weight Watcher meetings throughout the Keys: in Plantation Key, Marathon, Big Pine, and Key West.  I found the meetings by going to weightwatchers.com for times and addresses.  The meetings in Big Pine are on Thursday nights at the Methodist Church on Key Deer Blvd.  The weigh-in time is at 5:00PM and a short 30-minute meeting starts at 5:30PM.  I joined last year and really enjoy the laid back, fun meetings.  We're like one "big" happy family, with the same goal of losing the pounds.  Come check it out.

Someone asked about dog obedience classes.  Raul and Patti Hernandez (who are the former owners of Pampered Pet in KW are great) still do grooming and obedience school at Pampered Pet and can be reached there.  Raul used to do the training for the K9 units with the Monroe County Sheriff and the KW police.  He is amazing and a great guy too.

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken? Because the egg you are eating is "Food for the growing Chicken" not the chicken. With your logic you would expect grass to taste like beef.

Someone said appease the terrorist. Where did you ever read that, Imaginationland? Man, republicans are running out of BS quick.






Dinosaur
in American sign language. (Do you have to make the face too?)

This is the second report of sightings of undesirable-looking strangers rowing and motoring on little skiffs down our Eden Pines canals, one after the other, appearing to be casing our beloved boats.  I just brought in my electronics and the good neighbors who have reported this, have also secured their boating toys.  Has anyone else noticed strangers eyeballing the neighborhood via canal side?  These creepy crawlers could also be casing our homes so take a little extra precaution and lock up your stuff. 



The number of centenarians doubled in the 1980s and again in the 1990s. By 2050, there could be over 800,000 centenarian Americans.

[Iraq solution the American way] That is the most brilliant solution to that lousy war. It just might work!




Is it possible to tame a Fox?

There will be a moving sale with living and bedroom furniture, knickknacks, some fishing gear and all sorts of things this coming Saturday the 20th. of Jan. from 8:00am to whenever, may carry over to Sunday.  Just make an offer!  31052 Ave. H. between Sands and 1st St.

I saw bald eagle near Watson's Hammock last Monday. Very cool. Reminds you why we are so lucky.

On a cautionary Note: Please do not feed or water wild animals, whether they are key deer, (You know who you are in Tropical Key Colony) or a fox in Colorado.  You are upsetting the balance of nature and training the animals to approach humans. Many of you are soft hearted, but you are actually harming the animals, for your own amusement.  They will survive or "survival of the fittest".

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Monday January 15, 2007

 

Sunday January 14, 2007

[Iraq solution the American way] Secure the area around the green zone and hold it. As soon as it’s safe give a periodic payment to each household from the oil revenue. Keep making these payments as long as their neighborhood or village is safe. Extend this plan gradually neighborhood by neighborhood until every area that is going to get peaceful is finally peaceful and then bomb the hell out of the rest.

For the first time in a very long time I agree with our Editor.  The tonsil fertilization posting was hilarious.  The woman who wrote it obviously has a good sense of humor.  We all read this page for a laugh so why not laugh? 

I have to share this.  It's moments like this that remind us why we moved to Colorado.  My husband bought a cover for the new ATV today.  It was parked under the deck, but with minus zero temps and snow falling, he went out to cover it.  He saw a tiny fox and said "come here Foxy" and held out his hand.  The fox started coming toward him.  My husband was shocked this little character was willing to come to him, so he backed off and came inside and called me so I could see her.  We looked outside and called her and she poked her head around the front of the ATV.  Seeing how little she was, I ran to open a couple cans of Emmy's dog food and get her some water.  I know...I know...you're not supposed to feed them.  But who with a heart could not feed her.  We suspect she is being fed by someone else in the neighborhood as well.  She is actually pretty healthy looking and only ate about a third of the food.  I left the rest out there in case she comes back later for a snack.  Emmy was not pleased about giving up those cans of dog food.


[drinking and driving] One of my favorite things about New Orleans was always the drive-through daiquiri shops!

[Got troops?]The President is being berated because he sent the military to fix Iraq.  All we hear from the left is "bring the troops home".  Now they want the US to go fix Darfur.  I wonder who they'd want to send?

[don’t really know why the Muslims hate us and what we should do to appease them]  "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!" - Goldfinger?




The sewage treatment plant at Venture Out smells just wonderful today. It’s so nice to live near such a rude neighbor.

Rob used to have an extremely popular happy hour Friday nights at his old place with people bring in their own lawn chairs to sit in outside.  He served beer outside and had a low key band.  However, somebody on the other side of the canal called code enforcement who made him restrict himself to his authorized 16 seats inside, which, of course, killed all the fun.  Sounds like the Blue Haven in Key West.

What is wrong with you people? Nobody is living in the sixties, what kind of atrocities are you talking about. You want atrocities? Go to Al Jazeera and watch that American have his head cut off, that’s an atrocity. How dare you compare the President to Hitler, you should be ashamed of yourself. Wash your mouth out with soap. Appease the Moslems! Are you crazy? When would you think it will end? When they put a half moon on the top of the Capitol? So things didn't happen as they should have, we are still there and we have not been beaten. Soldiers have made the ultimate sacrifice for you all, are you going to cheapen that sacrifice by talking defeatism? "In war the best laid plans don't mean shit after the first shot is fired!" (That’s not my quote.)




I don't know about other people, but I gained so much weight over the holidays that I feel like Cartman in the Weight Gain 4000 episode. I need to find a health club.

[Some ideas for the person asking Why?]   Why not open a restaurant on Big Pine Key?  The simple answer is the environmental whackos and their excuse the Key Deer.  Some time ago some Virginia Whitetail deer were brought to the Keys and turned lose and like any animal, moved out of their environment, they survived and evolved into the little runts we have about us today.  They do not have much to eat therefore nature took care of them and they are smaller.  Cute little deer that have more rights than any humans on Big Pine Key 'cause the I have miners and whackos have changed every law they possibly can (cannot cut down natural growth etc, etc.) God forbid you trim a mangrove bush that is clogging the canal or is in the middle of a perfectly good buildable lot without jumping thru more hoops that it takes to get an abortion in this country.  If you want to paint your own house you have to get a permit!  It used to be if a homeowner wanted to improve their own property they could get the hammers out, but not in the Keys because then code enforcement can make up a ridiculous bill that...Long Winded Tomes

Those guys digging at the base of the electric poles are re coating the wood with preservative, I was told. Two very dark blacks, at least one of which had a thick Jamaican accent were on my street a few days ago and after he was finished drinking, just tossed his Gatorade bottle into the woods. Lowlife scum!

Dear Editor, try this for a week a so if you dare, so all the people out there can vent their sexual adventures and or problems. You may get more hits than on kudos. Start a new site and have all the X rated stores advertise. There is a fortune to be made in sex.

[Yard Sale Today] Here, I find myself on the whining side of the keyboard today and I blame it on you.  Yes, you.  You know who you are. 

When I and others see Yard Sale signs, we respond in good faith, only to find that you lacked the consideration to take your sign down when your sale is over.  Where is your Yard Sale Etiquette; on the 2 cent table maybe?

Your sign has remained for the last 2 weeks; on the ocean side of US 1 across from Boondocks.  I wonder how many people have come back to look for the yard sale that isn't? 

You aren't the only one that has misled me.  This is a pet peeve of mine.  Listen up people, your job as a yard saler is not over until the signs come down.     

Please use common courtesy and prevent your would-be customers from wasting time and gasoline.  It really just comes down to the golden rule; Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

You know Big Daddy is watching and one day when you hopefully make it to that big Yard Sale in the sky you may find yourself on the 2 cent table or even in the Salvation Army box.  Yikes! 



Does anyone have any recommendations for local dog obedience classes? 

[Chart Room folks] For your information, The Chart Room is cleaned nightly, and maintained very well. The peanut barrel is cleaned and restocked several times a week. The bartenders pride themselves in keeping things clean. So, what does that mean? It means the person who keeps knocking the place, probably needs date really bad.


Strange Thought to Ponder: Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

[Why, Why?] Because it involves dealing with the government and we all know they can screw up a wet dream at any level.


Condoleezza and I are both from Birmingham, Alabama, and I'm ashamed to admit it . . .
Sloan's Space

[Florida Keys 2076] Well that was an uplifting read. I’m glad I won't be here.

[Pork as a weapon] There has been so many stupid ideas and suggestions voiced in this forum, let me add mine. Moslems do not eat or have anything to do with pork, pig, or swine. When they become contaminated by bacon or ham, it is a lengthy process to get righteous again. Why doesn't the Army and the Marines equip helicopters with containers that can carry large plastic baggies filled with pig shit, blood and guts or even cheap pork hot dogs that would burst on impact. They can use it as a tactical weapon; contaminate areas where they don't want Moslems to go. Would be great for crowd control. One pass over the crowd and they would all go home to cleans their ass. Interrogate prisoners: “Speak up you terrorist scum or I'll shove this piece of fried ham down your throat!” It might even cause some converts, “I'll tell what you want to know, but can I have some mustard with that?” It is as a good idea or better than some I’ve heard.

The Burger King ad where the guy is a whopper man and he is yelling at his son whopper jr, the women are normal. What kind of insane thing is that? Shouldn't they be like burger people too? How did they reproduce? And what is that girl doing in Jr Whopper's bedroom? Is she giving him some strange oral sex to his lettuce? It is just too perverted for me, I am going to eat Wendy's!

[The Bald Eagle]  Yes, Eagles.  There has been a nesting pair on Little Pine for 20 or so years, maybe longer.  I don't know if it's been the same pair or not. I am not sure how long eagles live. The interior of the island has some very large pines and rattle snakes, eagles, and in years past,  wild pigs. Some Cubans put some out there thinking they could have some pork from time to time. Wrong. The pigs went feral and ate mostly land crabs. Their "rooting" tore up the Island and hunters were brought in from the Glades with dogs to take care of them. I am not sure that they were able to get all of them. A little Pine Key History.

In the first posting yesterday. What are you talking about forcing democracy and military blunder? The armed forces went thru the famous republican guard like shit goes thru a goose. Saddam’s army threw away their weapons and went home. You know about as much about military blunders as I do about brain surgery. I didn't see one single Iraqi being forced to vote, did you? Then what the hell are you talking about?



[Philadelphia Eagles] Where was Vince Papale when you needed him?

Heartsongs. Here is a poem that fell out of me in May 2003, just before I nearly died but didn't yet know I was about to do that. After I leave this world, I hope this poem will be read at the ceremony. That, and Heavy Wait, this man's deepest and truest songs...Sloan's Space

Your dislike of Bush has nothing to do with what a piece of crap Pelosi is.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Sunday January 14, 2007

 

Saturday January 13, 2007

I must admit it’s great watching the Republicans trying to justify the largest military blunder in American history. Even other republicans are seeing the blunders and have had enough. Bush is at the lowest presidential support rating ever. They are down to trashing a President from the last century--Bill Clinton and bringing up Ted Kennedy. Even their old rhetoric is failing by using the old "Liberals this and liberals that" BS. Its time they quit living in 1960s and wake up and realize old ideas and living in the past are nice at Christmas time, but its not nice when your president is trying to send and additional 22,000 American troops to escalate the war." One final surge. How absurd. The Iraqis have had 4 years to take control and haven’t done squat. Every country on the planet doesn’t have to live in a democratic society. Forcing Democracy down peoples throats is against their freedom of choice if anything.

My goodness gracious, would you calm down? I'm sorry that the fact that someone likes Nancy Pelosi frightens you so much. But your immediate, furious and vicious attack is indicative of the very traits that define the majority of Republican's knee-jerk response when it comes to any kind of change to their mindset. There’s nothing wrong with change at the right time. Look what has happened in the past - Bush goes after Osama, allegedly (conveniently) catches Suddam, and takes all the credit for that, so everybody will look the other way while atrocities continue. Look what is happening to this country over this war that the majority, Democrats and Repulicans alike, want out of? Bush is a megalomaniac who - in his own words (the few he pronounced correctly) - refuses to be bullied into doing something other than what he wants. Does that remind you of a famous Austrian-German? It’s time to trim the Bushes! 

It would give me pleasure to pleasure the woman I want pleasure from who won’t give pleasure to some one who wants pleasure and won’t give her pleasure.

Kudos to the soldier from Iraq. Thank you and God bless.




The fact that there is so much discussion on the causes of the war just goes to show that we don’t really know why the Muslims hate us and what we should do to appease them.

[Being in Iraq] What an intelligent reply. It changed my opinion or the writer’s knowledge of the war.

Feedback to the tonsil lady only reminded me of where the “Hook up” lady is. What happened to her? Did she fall in love and sail into the sunset?



Going east on the Spanish Harbor bridge I looked to my left and there was a Bald Eagle flying parallel to me at about the same speed. I love the Keys.

I agree people sometimes read what the want into words. I also think that is it an excuse to spout off on something that’s been on their minds. Although it does drive me crazy.

New Orleans has about one murder a day. I think bush should order a troop surge to re-take take hold the neighborhoods.




In Marathon it is not good to drive five miles over the speed limit. Everywhere else it is ok.

Is the whiners broken? It's Friday and all we can get is Tuesday. Lousy Tech Support

I don't think anyone was saying the Gators got lucky.  After all, they are the national champs.  They had a little luck getting to the BCS,  that is for sure.  If not for USC’s loss, they never would have been there.  I do have to agree with what someone said two days ago, though.  Ohio State did not show up for that game.  Having watched both teams this season, the Buckeyes really were a better team.  I definitely have to disagree with the comment that the Big Ten doesn't deserve to be there.   They have a reputation for being the powerhouse conference of college football.  Also, someone mentioned schedules.  Did Florida beat any number 2 teams during the regular season?  Ohio Sate beat two of them--Texas and Michigan.  Florida did not have a harder schedule.

All that having been said, it really does boil down to the final W or L.  Congratulations Gators!


[Chart Room folks]  Is the peanut barrel still there? You would think someone would remove it. The bugs that must be in that place! You know food on the floors equals rodents and roaches.

To the asshole in the black pickup truck with the rack on the back holding pvc pipes or plumbing materials with some lettering on the side leaving Big Pine Key at 6:30 in the morning. Dude, what is your damn problem? You are the most aggressive driver out there. I see you tail gating everyone. You pass in every no passing lane you can. You really need your ass beat. Has anyone else out there run into this moron in the morning?

[Being in Iraq] Perhaps if we heard more from the people over there than we do from the media, we would have a clearer picture of exactly what our presence means. I thank you for your service to this country.



I am offering a $100 reward for the stabilizer pad and pin off a backhoe that was lost between Big Pine and Marathon Thursday afternoon. If you found it, please post back to this site, or call 797-0891.
Classified Ads > Lost and Found

Res ipsa loquitur . . . the recent Presidential announcement . . .Sloan's Space

Don't kid yourself.  There are no homes on canals that are decent for 300K here in the Keys.  If that were true it would have been sold by now.  If there is one for sale for 300K then I guarantee you it is on some sinkhole mosquito infested canal that is unfit to live on.  More then likely the property isn't worth it or there is some other hidden problem with it.  If you want something decent here in the Keys the prices may have gone down a little, but people aren't stupid, they aren't suddenly selling million dollar houses for 800k less all of a sudden.  It's the location of the homes that give them the greater value just like every other place in the world.

[Big Coppitt Key] A Florida Keys Overseas Heritage Trail bridge engineering project, which is managed by the Florida Department of Environmental Protection’s (DEP) Office of Greenways and Trails (OGT), was recently presented an Award of Merit from the International Concrete Repair Institute. The Trail project was recognized for an innovative technique used to repair and rehabilitate the historic railroad bridges on Big Coppitt Key.  

The OGT contracted with Coastal Gunite Construction Company to use carbon fiber reinforced polymer bars to strengthen deck panels on six bridges. The bars increase the flexural strength of the deck panels through a more efficient installation process and prevent corrosion. The Florida Keys Overseas Heritage Trail bridge project was one of only ten projects selected worldwide to receive the 2006 Award of Merit, presented annually by the International Concrete Repair Institute to recognize outstanding projects in the concrete repair industry.




Let’s go Saints
. I’ve been a Saints fan since they made the playoffs!

[Why?] Boardwalk Pizza is the best and I love the outside seating.  I would love to have them open another restaurant here on Big Pine Key.  The cheese they use is just excellent and the thin crust is incredible.  Why is that we can't have good restaurants with outside seating like that here on Big Pine Key?  It's like we are being punished for living here.  The upper Keys really have it going on atmosphere and good food.  Why can't they open the Baltimore Oyster house up again and use that tiki hut in the back? Why don't they let someone put up a nice tiki bar and outside restaurant where the old Montego Bay used to be?  Why can't we have some nice palm trees and vegetation planted along side of the road on Big Pine without some sort of a big deal or disrupting anybody? Why can't simple things be done on this island. 

It seems like if someone wants to do something constructive here the building codes are so strict that putting up a building takes away from the beauty of our island and someone has to suffer financially or have something taken away from them.  Who are these idiots that make up these rules?  Why is it that Walgreens is trying to open a store right next to CVS and we all have to now put out thousands of dollars to put in a sewer on our island because they donated the land to put it in? Walgreens isn't going to help this island anyway; it will just mean more crime here because people who can't afford to live here will be bused in to work there.  We will all lose because if it. Why is it that they filled in the nice basin at Mariners resort to put in some stupid unneeded park and what was the point of throwing a bunch of trash in the basin to fill it in anyway? Why? Why? Why?





Watch your step!
Short stroll in a Chinese national park - www.scout.com

Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School bake sale today! January 13th: Sponsored by the parents of the 2nd and 3rd grade classes. Bulletin Board

The charter school will also provide parking in their parking lot each Saturday for flea market shoppers for a simple donation.  Thank you for your continuing support.

[Florida Keys 2076] The final construction of the Key West train food court stop has been completed and Sonny McCoy IV, mayor of Key west and Commissioner Chip Spehar are about to dedicate Key West’s first food court stop.  Chip Spehar is a descendant of the infamous Dixie Spehar that was convicted of ballot stuffing in the 2008’s general election. After the Flagler’s overseas railroad was restored in 2072, these food court stops were placed in each of the Florida Keys main population centers, Key Largo, Islamorada, Marathon and now Key West for the inhabitants to collect their weekly food stuffs.  Since the Government started taking all the private property in the early 21 century and the 2004 real estate boom and let’s not forget the environmental movement which was a constant distraction to affordable housing it has been impossible to house and hire any employees to man any of the former commercial establishment such as Grocery stores, Restaurants or any establishment that would require the assistance of moderate or low income people.  Most of the high rollers that purchased homes in the early 2000’s have since left and returned to areas where they could find more reasonable and abundant common services.  Hospitals and doctors offices closed up shop for lack of competent medical staff and the lack of law enforcement caused mass increases in all crimes and the streets of the Florida Keys were no longer safe to travel.  In the declining years post 2030 the price of a Whopper burger had escalated to $28.00.   Many of the mansions and other opulent homes that once lined the pristine shores of the Florida Keys have fallen to disrepair and vandalism.  Houses that caught fire would burn to the ground for lack of firefighters.  

The final nail had been inserted in the Florida Keys coffin by the environmental community and government by constantly wanting more land that they couldn’t afford and would normally be occupied by lower wage earning people. Soon the few remaining inhabitants of the Keys will be compelled to join the real world and the once joyful keys will be lost forever.--Govwatch05@netscape.com

[Iraq] I am very interested in reading the reports from someone who has been there and is still in touch with those who are there.  I've worked in journalism and dealt with the egos doing the reporting.  I'll take the word of a soldier over any of them.

Do you believe in God? NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest number of responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the percentage was the same as this: 86% to keep the words, In God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance 14% against.

Code Enforcement, the gift that keeps on giving.

Did you notice how quiet Ted Kennedy got for that wonderful long stretch of time?  The Dems finally convinced him to shut up and quit embarrassing them.  Unfortunately now that they've won so many seats he thinks he should continue his monologues.



Usually works for me.

[some feedback from the female readers]  I have some feedback: Get some respect for yourself and keep your sexual escapades to yourself. And get a new guy if you have one that selfish.

[Viewing Comet McNaught] Thanks to the astronomer who keeps us posted on these wonderful sightings!

<