Archive Directory
December 2009
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The Coconut
Telegraph New Year's Eve 2009 |
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[Blue
Moon on New Year’s Eve] The Marcels -
words by Rodgers and Hart
Blue Moon, you
saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love of my own
Blue Moon, you knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for
And then there suddenly appeared before me
The only one my arms will ever hold
I heard somebody whisper, "Please adore me"
And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold
Blue Moon, now I'm no longer alone
Without a
dream
in my heart
Without a love of my own
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-avJPsuArgswn
Happy New Year! |
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It costs nothing to be nice.
It’s worth a try. |

North Korea is where
the Flying Monkeys from the Wizard of Oz come from. ~Lewis Black
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[TSA says no to Director. The G.O.P. was worried more about
working people joining a union then they were in trying to keep America
safe from terrorist.]
That news item got distorted, and then more incorrect info got added.
People from both Dems and Reps are against that LAX guy getting the TSA
Director job. Regardless of who gets the job, many elected and
appointed people are against unionizing TSA employees. Somehow those 2
"againsts” got muddled into 1.
Firstly, we're just as safe with or without a TSA Director. TSA is
being run the same as always, by it's deputy directors. Just like
Debbie Fredericks, Deputy County Administrator ran the County for many
months until the new administrator was hired. The only thing the TSA
Director does is be a public face for the organization. TSA is not
autonomous. It is a department within the Department of
Homeland Security's control and organization.
I'm pro-unions. They provide a good worker protection mechanism. But
all the reasons I love unions are the exact same reasons TSA
(the frontline of our safety security) can not exist in a unionized
environment. The TSA, like the CIA and FBI, can not operate
effectively if it has to answer to any union policies before making an
emergency change. The nature of security means the government is in
charge of all activities, unfettered by threat of another organization
(union) standing between security being applied, and those applying the
security.
Not all occupations/job positions need the worker protection unions
provide. The federal government already provides more employee
protections and benefits than private employers. And what happens when
the union starts the salary negotiating process? Do we really want a
group of union leaders negotiating, bickering and threatening the
Department of Homeland Security?
I don't want my security jeopardized by a TSA employee who should have
been terminated but was not because the union fought the termination. I
don't want my security jeopardized by a union calling a strike.
The country's security can only be accomplished by a direct line between
employer (feds) and employee (TSA worker) without 3rd party
interference. |
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EZ
Keys Definitions
Bubba - Born in the Keys, raised in the Keys, live in the
Keys. Receives direct benefits, either legal, monetary or both; based
on a family name or history.
Conch - Born in the Keys, raised in the Keys. May or may
not still reside in the Keys, but maintains roots in the Keys.
Freshwater Conch - Born elsewhere, long-time Keys
resident with extensive business and/or community ties. Many were
bestowed an honorary certificate in years passed.
Local - Full-time Keys resident with business and
community ties. Has homesteaded property in the Keys, or rents and
works 12 months a year in the Keys.
Cracker - Usually reserved for those of us born in
Florida, though not from the Keys. May or may not have business or
community ties to the Keys. Has never lived in a state with “New” as
part of the name. See Florida Native for further description.
Migrant -Born elsewhere, may or may not speak English,
may or many not have business or community ties in the Florida Keys or
anywhere for that matter.
Snowbird - Anyone from a state other than Florida who
either day trips, rents or owns non-homesteaded property and stays in
the Keys less than 12 months a year. Easily identified by the brightly
colored tropical shirts, sox worn with sandals, pinkish skin and whiny
vocalization about how they're offended and how things are done "back
home".
P.S. While I'm not a great fan of Boondocks and the new
owners. They have improved the place from what it was 10 years ago.
They have tried many different business models to keep the place alive.
The beauty of the America is there's always somewhere
else to go; and if you're not happy with the choices you can go home! |
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[Big Pine 29] I wonder what Mitch Denker, their lawyer, is up to
these days. |
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[Boondocks] I suspect that the “whiners” are
actually “diners” at Boondocks. Of course they go there!
The simple fact they use the words “hired help”, and
their need for a V.I.P. Room, shows their arrogance and the fact that
they are not locals. Thank you Boondocks for “hiring” our friends,
family, and neighbors.
That they mention the “WM restroom trailer” shows their
ignorance by the fact that the trailer was a temporary, first class
port-o-potty option, and is now gone. Thank you Boondocks for the brand
new first class bathrooms.
Their statement about Howard Livingston being an hour
late shows their obliviousness to how things can go wrong in the real
world, where real people who are trying to make a living, have real
lives, and real families, and sometimes things don’t always go the way
you want them to. And further shows their perpetual sense of
entitlement. Especially at a free concert. Thank you Boondocks for
continuing to provide us with top rate, nationally known, free of charge
entertainment.
These whiners didn’t have to go somewhere else where
everybody knows their name…we all know their name, Mr & Mrs A. Hole. |
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[Bike path full of people walking dogs] In Valley Forge where the
bike path started, people walked dogs who crapped all over, baby
carriages three wide, and other trespassing notions. After they were
fined $100 for the offence and told the Bike Path was bought and paid
for by the Bicycle Collation of America, they got the idea to stay off! |
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[Sea level on Big Pine] After reading the whole
thing I am convinced that before I am 100yrs old I’d better leave the
Keys. |
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Fundraiser
at the Dockside Lounge Marina in Marathon
yesterday, for the Wounded Warrior Event taking place on January 15 from
Grassy Key to the 7 Mile Bridge.
   
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[PCs versus
Macs] I have owned PCs for many years and have had nothing but
problems with them. I may not be the smartest computer geek out there,
but I switched to an iMac this past year, and am delighted with it.
Yeah, it cost a little more, but it is worth it in my opinion. It does
everything I ask it to, and fast. I really haven't had any problems
with compatibility so far. For example, I realized that I couldn't play
Windows Media files, such as .wma and .wmv, but I downloaded something
called Flip4Mac (it was free), and now I can play them--piece of cake.
And I don't have to worry about virus protection like I did with my PCs.
There is a Mac
store in Key West on Truman Ave called Macintosh Solutions and they give
free classes every Saturday morning. I went to the class for Mac
basics, and I was sold. I don't think it has anything to do with your
intelligence as to which kind is for you. I think it is just a matter
of preference and money.
Why does one
or more of you want to try to belittle those who don't agree with you?
It’s childish. |
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The fish trap exists because of the fish.
Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare
exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can
forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten
the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has
forgotten words so I can talk with him? ~Chuang Tzu |
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[Nature Conservancy Bad] Sea level rise on Big Pine Key: The
graphic was brought to you from the Nature Conservancy. There is a
biased source. Can you say steaming pile of bull s**t. |
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[Word 2003] My right click “Add to Dictionary” function is full,
so it says. How to I make more room for the correct spelling of words? I
can’t spell for the life of me and Spell Check is the only thing
separating me from looking like the moron I am. |
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[Healthcare]
For all you Obama haters my father developed ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)
in the early '60's. Guess what happened? His health insurance was
cancelled! No other carrier would insure him. This has been going on
for 50 years or more. You don't think it's time for change? You think
Republicans will do it better? Republicans had many years in office --
they did nothing - except bring this Country down to its knees. |
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be
drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so
drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Happy New Year! |
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[14 year old iguana killer
disgusting] I'm
with you, Dad, and thank you for being the outstanding dad you obviously
are. The Keys need more of you, especially Big Pine Key, where parents
too often deny that their children are causing problems in the
community, probably because they encouraged or ignored behaviors such as
those of the 14-year-old animal killer. Too many Keys birds and animals
are being hurt by children and "adults" who have no respect for anything
or anyone but themselves. |
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[Sea Level] I’ve been here since the seventies. The average sea
level in my canal has gone up since then. Undisturbed rock that
was always uncovered or regularly uncovered is always underwater now.
Someone explain that one. |
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Thanks for the great picture of the PC and Mac guys. You outdid
yourself. I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair. From now on I
will never see that ad and not crack up. And I will be able to spot the
Mac users a mile away. |
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To
the women of Big Pine, the Florida Keys and all parts of this
great earth. In reading some of the negative posts about the women of
Big Pine, I felt it necessary to find a quote worth sharing as it
relates to curvy women. I can't address the issue of bad or missing
teeth, but to say I suppose not everyone has a dental plan. As a matter
of fact, I'm sure of it. Have a little mercy on them and perhaps take a
good look inside yourself. Personality lasts much longer than physical
beauty.
Curve: The
loveliest distance between two points. ~Mae West |
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Now Serving All Who Have Served Honorably.
https://www.usaa.com/inet/ent_blogs/Blogs?action=blogpost&blogkey=newsroom&postkey=now_
serving_all_who_have&adID=VURL_share |
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[Detroit's
2009 Autorama] Here
are a few pictures from this year's Detroit Autorama, being held this
weekend.
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Interpol, the international
criminal police organization, is now poised to reside above the United
States Constitution - in a place of sanctity beyond our FBI, CIA, DIA,
and all other criminal investigatory domestic organizations.
http://www.examiner.com/x-3704-Columbia-Conservative-Examiner~y2009m12d26-US-placed-under-international-policestate |
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There’s never been a year like '09. The year
reviewed in song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKYe1KiwywE |
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What's up with your love
affair with Sarah? Threatening people
you don't know and calling them a commie exposes you as a nut case. |
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Watch the bright Moon make its way down to Mars and Regulus night
by night. |
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If Obama is responsible for the attempted attack
on an airplane then The Republican party and George Bush are just as
responsible for 9/11. I like this outcome better. I don’t remember the
Right Man blaming Bush the way he blames Obama. How convenient. Follow
the rhetoric folks and you will see it’s not about America coming out of
the doldrums of the past administration, it’s all partisan politics. If
you believe that the state of America before the election, when our
industries were closing left and right and markets were failing, was due
to a man that wasn’t even the party nominee for President was
responsible there’s nothing we can do to show you how far out there you
really are.
Can we blame
the next problem in America on someone not yet elected? It seems to be
the cool thing to do. |
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Nira Tocco is have two Open Houses on Ramrod
Key this Saturday, January 2 from 9am - 12 noon at 911 W. Indies and at
27437 Tobago Lane |
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[Mac v PC]
It is true that you can customize almost everything on a PC. There is a
free application to download for almost anything you can think of
(except making my wife learn to cook). |
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The
Iguana Killers Club, IKC, would like to share
this great video with all the avid hunters on how to properly shoot and
cook the invasive iguana. The IKC bumper stickers have been printed and
we expect delivery early next week. These free stickers will be
available at numerous locations throughout the Keys or by contacting the
IKC. When you sign up to become a member of the IKC you will receive a
membership package which includes 12 IKC bumper stickers, embroidered
IKC ball cap, 250 rounds of ammo for the IKC41 air rifle, custom printed
Dead Iguana Departed, tee shirt, your life time membership card and
numerous discount coupons to local businesses that support the IKC.
http://www.tampabay.com/video/?bcpid=28597115001&bctid=30465815001
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We will work hard take care of each other, while
y'all pine for what someone else already has, and try to take it away. |
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Who
says the GOP doesn't have a sense of humor. Lets elect "Dumb and
Dumber". In a new interview with Newsmax, former Alaska governor Sarah
Palin hinted that a dream ticket of Palin and Fox News host Glenn Beck
is not out of the question. |
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[Facial
Recognition]
HP
computers are racist.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4DT3tQqgRM&feature=player_embedded
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1935 Chevy ad. The first minute is on the
Overseas Highway.
http://www.autotraderclassics.com/articles/templates/video.xhtml?utm_source=cruiser+email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=
ecrmart3&utm_campaign=dec+cruiser+email&articleId=46283 |
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[Commies not dumping on Sarah so much anymore] Why
would we dump on her? She's the second most-admired citizen, right
behind Hillary! |
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These are all very special and unique photos of various motorcycle
engines, some old, some not so old, all extremely well done. For the
historical record.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gordoncalder/sets
/72157612757443903/show/ |
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[Scientist Denier] Yeah, what the hell do
scientists know about anything? Time for my kidney dialysis! |
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Did anyone
notice that Dick Cheney scolded Obama for supposedly treating the
most recent plane attack attempt like he was a common criminal and is
allowing him to get a lawyer and go before federal court? Well guess
what? Remember the shoe bomber that was caught trying to do the same
thing as this guy? You guessed it, the Bush administration allowed him
to lawyer-up and stand trial like anyone else. And there’s more!
Remember Mohammad Zarkowi the other terrorist that was caught during the
Bush administration? Yes sir, folks, he also was allowed to lawyer-up
and stand trial in a federal court--not a military tribunal.
Republicans
think that as long as they point fingers at what other folks are doing
we will simply follow them blindly and not remember their actions. I
mean if Cheney thinks Obama is out of line all I can say is Obama is
following the same path as Cheney and Bush did. |
[Amazing
2 Year Old Golf Prodigy]
Watch out Tiger, Quentin Coor is on the green! I like the part where he
has to stop to get his diaper changed.
http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/cspanjunkie/amazing-2-year-old-golf-prodigy |
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[Red States -- Blue States] Slave states huh? I
doubt it, but perhaps this will help left wingers gain a sense of humor.
The Democratic left-wing-nut-progressives have been enslaving poor inner
city dwellers for years. In exchange for votes, your party offers food
stamps, welfare, health care and many other free goodies in the form of
taxpayer funded social programs and substandard schools. Keep 'em fed,
unemployed, healthy, dependent and dumb--how Democratic!
Democrats cried for years that it's too discriminatory to
demand verifying strict qualification standards to receive taxpayer
money. Why? If that was required you'd lose most of your voting block.
In your new idyllic Democratic Nirvana, the self-righteous,
sanctimonious plan to supply goodies-for-Democratic-votes-agenda will
have to be paid for by your own party and its supporters. That will
surely cause an abandonment of your party's redistribute the wealth
agenda. You'll have oil that you won't drill for and complete union
control of everything, including a government you can't control.
Let's forget all that and sum it up briefly. You have
obviously forgotten one major, very important factor. We still have all
the guns and ammunition guaranteed us under that pesky Constitution that
you've been trying so hard to void for so many years. During that time
we've become quit proficient handling them both too. So, BANG! BANG!
Your land has quickly become our land.
For years lefties have said their morals are so much
higher than ours. Given that, we must
exceed your expectations of us by not only taking your
land but also your women and all your quality made European goods. I
know the latter will upset you most and give you a continual hissy fit,
but no worries, you'll gleam with joy as you leave the ships at the
European shores. You deserve the Socialist Utopia you're trying to
create here, so experience it on steroids over there. It's the least we
can do after taking everything you own. After all, this is still
America, for now anyway.
Here's the latest Progressive-left-wing-nut plan to get
votes at American taxpayer's expense. On December 15Th the Democrat's
Comprehensive Immigration Reform for America's Security & Prosperity Act
of 2009 (CIR ASAP) was introduced by Ill. Rep. (D) Luis Gutierrez. It's
locked up in backroom closed doors ready for secret discussions. If
passed it will legalize 12-20 million new citizens. What will that do to
public schools, public social programs and Obamacare if it passes? It
will give unions access to unknown millions of new low wage workers
paying union dues. Could that be why unions are so pro amnesty? How will
amnesty affect the unemployed American workers?
You'll hear
lawmakers once again promise "We'll close our borders after this bill is
passed". Will you believe them this time, even after all the times
they've lied and conned Americans on that same promise? Besides the
illegals, who will benefit most from amnesty--you the American taxpayer
or the politicians? Why is Tiger Woods getting more mainstream media
coverage than a bill that as Obama put it, will help "totally transform
America"?
Freedom rings in the Constitutional right to carry guns! Isn’t that
right lefties? |
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Piners Craig and Sue Harfield are caught coaching basketball in
Marathon. |
T'was the week after
Christmas
And all though the Keys
The traffic flows south
Brings Locals to their knees
As Locals go right
In order to turn left
The tourists crawl south
Pedestrians fear death
Bartenders smile
Traffic backs up at the light
Tourists slow on the bridges
To take in the sight.
What is every day for us
Is a wonder to them
We whine in the season
Due to the mayhem
So as the New Year begins
And snowbirds return
Let's share our islands
Quite whining about cisterns
For we are so blessed
to live in the Keys
Let's not forget
How lucky are we. |
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The Times Square New Year’s ball weighs 11,875 pounds. |
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[From the Right]
Before the end of January ’09 Mr. Obama had appointed his Attorney General,
his Secretary of Homeland Security, his Director of the CIA and his Director
of the FBI. By March, ’09 he had appointed his chief of the DIA. And the
Democrat party controls Congress that controls oversight. Before taking
office Mr. Obama had determined that there was no war on international
terrorism, and that there was no such thing a terrorist attack.
He introduced mind numbing terms like "Overseas Contingency Operation" and
"Man Caused Disasters." He had decided that AQI and its ilk were simply
criminals and as such they must be treated as criminals with all the rights
and privileges accorded to persons committing crimes on American soil.
Then came
Christmas 2009. An echo of the words of Mr. Obama’s America hating pal,
and racist mentor, Rev. Wright who said “The chickens have come home to
roost.” Mr. Obama’s overarching responsibility is to protect the American
Homeland. It is only the incompetence of the panty bomber that saved us from
a massive tragedy. Mr. Obama and his minions ignored a trail of evidence and
warning that would have put even Inspector Clouseau on high alert. The
Obama admin’s first response was to deny their failure (Napolitano: “the
system worked”). Mr. Obama’s 3 days late first response was to denigrate
the severity of the threat: “it was an isolated extremist incident”. Mr.
Obama’s next response was to blame the Bush administration: “systems that
have been in place for years failed”. Incredibly Mr. Obama actually praised
the work of his Secretary of Homeland Security. Damnit, Mr. Obama get your
head straight: the panty bomber was the failure of the people that you put
in place to run the systems, not the fault of the systems. It was the fault
of your insanely naïve commitment to the notion that terrorists are nothing
more than criminals. Because of that philosophy we are denied gold standard
intelligence from our most recent attacker who has “lawyered up”. Three
days after December 25th, Mr. Obama once again told us that the
dog had eaten his homework. "The old systems failed". Whatever happened to
Democrats like Harry “The Buck Stops Here” Truman?
The Muslim
extremists are at war with us and have been for more than 3 decades; no
matter how often Mr. Obama chooses to deny it.
(Part II)
It’s not likely that many CT readers read the Ft. Lauderdale
Sun Sentinel, the biggest paper in Broward. Ft Lauderdale is an iron
ringed bastion of Democrat politicians and liberals. The Sun Sentinel
is their standard bearer. The editorial board is solidly liberal Democrat.
In Wednesday’s digital AM paper they ran an online poll that asked who was
the most annoying person in the USA in ‘09. The choices included Glenn Beck,
Kim Kardashian, Levi Johnston (of Palin fame), Barack Obama, John and Kate,
Joe Lieberman, and a couple of others. Incredibly, Mr. Obama was the
“winner” at being a loser. About 32% of the responders have decided that he
was 2009’s most annoying person. The runner up was John and Kate at a
distant 20%. Damn, that’s a huge surprise coming from left-turn-only
Broward. Frowns on the left, grins on the right.
(Part III) Special to Deer Ed and to an astute poster. You both are smack
dab on the mark. Apologies to Deer Ed, sanity on BPK is a precious commodity
not to be squandered. The message is the point, the messenger is
not. Constructive criticism is noted and appreciated. |
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Thursday
December 31, 20099 |
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Wednesday
December 30, 2009 |
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[From
the Right] It’s difficult to decide what genre of dark wicked comedy
the Obama administration’s handling of the Christmas terrorist attack
mimics best. Is it the bold boffo of Dr. Strangelove or the
bumbling wicked characters of the Coen brothers treatment of The Lady
Killers? Or is it just a simple horror story? It starts with the
father of the Muslim mass murderer-wannabe reporting his son to the U.S.
Nigerian Embassy long before the date of the attack. The wayward son is
Al Quada operative, Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, a 23-year-old Nigerian.
He was well known as a radicalized Muslim by international authorities
long before Christmas day. The Brits had denied him entry; his name was
on our own terror suspects list. We had been specifically warned about
him by his father! Umar, in the thrall of Muslim mania, and with the
aid of AQI seamstresses, sewed 80 grams of PETN into the crotch of his
undies and merrily marched towards his planned meeting with 72 Virgins
in the skies above
Detroit. On
Christmas day in Nigeria he was able to board a U.S. airliner headed for
his heaven over Detroit. He, with the help of an accomplice, had
purchased a one-way ticket for cash. He had no baggage or passport. He
bought the ticket just before departure. Does it need to be said that
all of that was against all of the rules?
As he blithely
marched aboard his Delta magic carpet to his up-close meeting with
Allah, he was a very happy camper because he planned on wreaking His
vengeance on at least 300 infidels. His monumental climax was thwarted
by an episode of fiery premature ejaculation. After he fizzled, the
person in charge of keeping us safe by keeping him away from America,
Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, proudly declaimed “The
System Worked”. Now that is just freaking incredible!
Next, the
Obama admin decided that this entire nasty little mess was nothing but a
criminal act, not an act of war. So we now will deal with it in the same
court system that we deal with vandals. Nonetheless, our putative crotch
bomber Muslim mass murderer, Umar, tells us all about AQI’s role
and brags that there are at least 25 of his already trained brethren
anxious to get in the knickers of their own personal 72 virgins. Our
loquacious leader, Mr. Cool Obama, three days later broke himself away
from the 17th tee at a Hawaii golf course to grandly inform
us that this is nothing more than an “isolated incident.”
Mr. Obama’s
words are in stark contrast to the bragging of AQI that their best is
yet to come. So now in the aftermath, we must all suffer draconian new
restrictions on travel while AQI is giddy with joy at winning another
round. Explosion or no explosion, they won. We are terrified.
What do you think, was it the grace of God that saved hundreds of lives
on Christmas day? It must have been, because the Obama administration
certainly had nothing to do with it. |
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I had a couple of pizzas yesterday at Slice of Paradise on Ramrod
Key. They have a 2 pie special on Tuesdays for $20. What a deal. Did you
know that Paradise pizza is in the building that Rob, of Rob’s Island
grill, used to be in?
http://keyspizza.com/ |
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[Cisterns of Death] The Citizen article yesterday said, as I
recall, that the County Health Department had offered to test
the unhappy lady’s cistern water on No Name Key, to see if it’s safe to
drink. I got the feeling that she had not taken up that offer. Maybe on
her attorney’s advice? Maybe a test would show there is nothing wrong
with her cistern water?
Every time I eat out, I order tap water, with a slice or two of lime, or
if no lime, then lemon. Not bottled lime or lemon, but the real deal.
The sour citrus juice neutralizes the chemicals, or so a psychic
channeling something called “Ramtha” once claimed. Makes the water more
to my taste, in any event. A substitute for soft drinks, although I’ve
been known to swizzle some ginger ale, and that I especially like with
fresh lime juice. Vitamin-C there, too. Fresh citrus somewhat alkalizes
my system.
If there is no fresh citrus where I dine out, very rare in Key West, I
just drink the tap water. At home, that’s all I drink: tap water. I keep
a cold plastic bottle of it with the top off in the refrigerator. I’ve
heard letting it breathe evaporates some of the chemicals. On hot days
working my garden, I drink tap water straight from the hose. What’s
gonna become of me, so much inconsistency? |
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[Locals
asked to leave restaurant] Just because you are a local (and I'm not
sure you are} does not entitle you to go to the front of the line. I
find it hard to believe you were kicked out of any Keys establishment
without provocation. My guess is you are a loud, obnoxious northerner
posing as a local. Most of the folks I know that winter here, when
asked, would tell you they are from the Keys making you believe they are
locals. I have been coming to the Keys for 20 years and have lived here
permanently since 2000 and I have never asked for any special locals’
treatment. Get in line, wait patiently like the rest of us, be polite
or go somewhere else where you can be seated immediately and made to
feel important. |
[Immigration]
Let me see if I got this right.
If you cross the north Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard
labor.
If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from
again.
If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy
and your fate will be sealed.
If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into
political prison to rot.
If you cross the USA border illegally you get a job, drivers license,
social security card, welfare, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized
rent or a loan to buy a house, free education, free health care, a
lobbyist in Washington, billions of dollars worth of public documents
printed in your language, the right to carry your countries flag while
you protest that you don't get enough respect, and, in many instances,
you can vote.
I just wanted to make sure I had a firm grasp on the situation. |
|
[Finds
the 14 year old iguana killer disgusting] I'm not his Mom, I'm
actually his Dad. So respecting life (not killing things for the
pleasure of it) is a gay thing?
Yes, we both
eat meat, but we don't go out and kill living animals just for the hell
of it. I will kill, if I feel my life is being threatened and I have no
other choice, but that doesn't mean I don't respect life. There is a
difference. |
|
[Obama] Sometime back before we put our new President into office
I heard him speak. He was great. I am a center-to-the-right voter and I
was moved by this man. I did not vote for him and no longer want to hear
him speak. As in race horses breeding and class will beat speed, time
and time again. He is fast. We wanted change so very badly we made a
poor choice. I am sure we will start to repair this in November.
|
|
[Red
States -- Blue States]
This is an old one but a good one and a reminder that Key West maybe
really doesn't belong in Florida (though Big Pine might). Perhaps it
will help right wingers regain their own sense of humor.
Dear Red States, We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own
country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you
aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of
Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Coca
Cola. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's
venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of
the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of pineapples and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech
industry, most of the U.S.’s low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools plus
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones
University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and
Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws. 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in
9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with
higher morals then we lefties.
We're taking all the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow
in Mexico.
Peace out, Blue States
|
[Howard
Livingston's Blizzard] We hope you are having a wonderful holiday
season. We started ours out with a bang. Thanks to The Weather Channel
and 40,000 pounds of block ice, we had the first White Christmas ever in
the Keys. This is without question the very best Christmas I have ever
had. They started making snow at about 7:30 in the morning and I have
to say we still have a pile left in the front yard. The snowmen
however, did not fare so well, as they fell victim to the tropical sun
and 78 degree temps. It was great to see so many kids and adults enjoy
snow for the very first time. The staff from the Weather Channel could
not have been nicer and some even stayed an extra day to soak in a
little more of paradise from my boat.
Special thanks to Adam Berg and Michelle Birnbaum for
making this a special day for everyone. After the show was over and the
cameras were off, Adam jumped back in the snow and played with all the
kids. He is such a cool guy. Also thanks to Ken Wells Jr. for giving
Adam his aerial sleigh ride back to the Key West airport. There is a
wonderful video capturing the day by Craig Hollenback. Check it out at
www.conchrepublicradio.com Thanks for everything Craig!
 |
|
I see that the commies are not dumping on Sarah much because we
know who you are. Think they are worried? Watch it! |
|

Having worked in the restaurant business for years down here it
is impossible to make everyone happy this time of the year. Things are
so busy and everyone wants special treatment, and there is not enough to
go around. If you want to be treated special stay home and cook this
week. |
|
[Grouper ban] All they did was make it more of a
challenge to catch them and not get caught. I'll still get my Jewfish.
Screw them. Most of those making the fishing rules probably can't tell
the difference between a grouper and a grunt. |
|
[Water]
Scientists have been discovering that water has some unique and amazing
qualities. Not only is it the basis of all life, but we are now finding
that water has memory. Water can be changed, not only by it's physical
environment, but by consciousness and thought! Experiments were done
where polluted (dead) water was frozen into crystals. The crystals were
deformed and without geometric design. Then the same water was exposed
to people thinking thoughts of love and gratitude, and intentionally
directing these positive intentions to the water. The water was frozen
into crystals again. The water that had been polluted now formed perfect
geometric snowflake crystals!
So what does this mean? Is it possible that mere thought could help
clean up polluted water? Further experiments have shown that the water
which has been exposed to positive intention (especially thoughts of
love and gratitude) and then used to nourish seeds, produced plants that
grew faster and produced healthier plants. So how can this help our
waters here in the Keys?
If water which has been exposed to positive intentions can produce
healthier plants, perhaps it will work for our ocean and bay. Could it
be possible that our beautiful Florida Keys water could become healthier
if we all remember to send love and gratitude to our water every time we
see it? If we take time every day to bless our water with love,
appreciation and gratitude is it possible that we could create a better
environment for our coral reefs, fish, birds, dolphins and manatees?
Each time we cross a bridge, go fishing, go out in our boat or swim in
our beautiful ocean or bay, we can take a moment to send positive
intention to the water. We can think "I love you, beautiful water!
Thank you water, for the life you give us! Thank you for the home you
provide for all the sea life, coral reefs, birds and other wildlife here
in the Keys!"
And let's not forget our drinking water. Research has shown that if you
write the words "love" "gratitude" and "health" on your bottled water,
it actually changes the molecular structure of the water, making it more
healthy to drink!
Sounds like science fiction? Could it be possible that our thoughts
could help clean up our water, and help us live healthier, more
sustainable lives here in the Keys?
I believe everything on our planet is alive. Everything is energy, and
energy emanates vibrations. Our thoughts and feelings give forth
vibrations, and at a quantum level everything is connected. Everything
affects everything else. So it is not unrealistic to believe our
precious waters can be affected by our intentional vibrations of
thought. |
|
Big Pine 29 bust
via private emails. Please
contact me at so I can ask you if you know about something I'm trying to
find out about. Thanks.
keysriderfive@yahoo.com |
|
[Fisherman
basher (Grouper Ban)] I can't possibly imagine anyone more ignorant
than you. You are assuming that all fishermen are raping the waters for
all the fish they can stuff in their fish box. Most every charter
captain I have ever met is concerned about the environment and
the future of the resources that makes them a living. In fact this is an
economic disaster for the charter fishing business and the Keys economy
will suffer.
You obviously
don't fish, but maybe you eat fish. Well, start digging deeper in your
wallet, bubba! |
|
[Why all the chatter about the Big Pine 29 Bust? Are the old
dopers just reliving the good old days in the Keys?] Probably, and
sometimes the ol' memory needs a jog for that process, so lend a hand! |
|
[Facial
Recognition Door Lock and Time Clock] Forgot to punch your time
clock? Don't worry, your face did it for you. Ditch the keys and throw
away the time cards, now all you need is your face. Wholesale
electronics giant Chinavision is offering a
facial recognition door lock for around
$465. |
|
[Panty
Bomber] The Christmas day failed Muslim plot is not an isolated
incident. Our President has put every one of us in real harms way by
insisting that these killers are nothing more than common criminals. I
urge all to check for yourselves. Simply do a web search and scan the
data from the search term: “USA terrorism arrests 2009”. In under a
minute you will see articles outlining at least 8 plots and over a dozen
arrests of persons plotting or conducting terrorist attacks on American
soil just since last January. Gang, we’re are not in a crime wave, we
are at war! |
|
[Blue
Moon] Party planners take note. For the first time in almost twenty
years, there's going to be a Blue Moon on New Year's Eve.
I remember the last time this happened. December 1990 ended with a Blue
Moon, and many New Year's Eve parties were themed by the event. It was a
lot of fun. Don't expect the Moon to actually turn blue, though. The
Blue Moon is a creature of folklore. It means that it’s the second full
Moon in a calendar month.
Blue Moon by Ella Fitzgerald
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Ella+Fitzgerald:Blue+Moon:
462650:s33662.15567.13456156.1.1.82%2Cstd_11c5f89e7365da6a1cdb53d5d71d8663 |
|
[The Party of No is required to vote no] Let me see if I've got
this right, it's wrong if every Republican votes the same way, but it's
somehow right when every Democrat does the same? |
|
[Comments
on Sloan and Right Guy] To all the Sloan apologists: We are not
trying to stop Sloan from posting here (at least I'm not) but would
like to see Deer Ed use his vast editorial powers to reduce the length
of those overly long posts. Back when this forum was called Kudos and
Whiners and when Sloan posted almost every day his posts only displayed
the first couple of lines and then had a link to the rest of the text.
It was a nice setup because you could discern from those first few lines
whether or not he was on his meds and if the post was worth reading. I
consider it purely a technical matter as the long posts disrupt up the
flow of the page. That the content is the insane ramblings of an
egomaniac is beside the point.
To the From Das Reich guy. Now calm down buddy. The "suck my *****"
comment was merely an expression and not an invitation. I know that the
possibility of such an encounter has stirred feelings in your loins that
have been dormant since the Hoover administration, but I'm just not that
kind of guy (not that there's anything wrong with that). You are
probably not familiar with many colloquialisms from this century so I
will forgive your ignorance.
Is "Obamaphile"
and “Mr” President the best you've got? You really are a one trick pony,
with nothing more to offer than extreme partisan politics. I hope that
when I reach your age that I am still able to converse on a broad range
of topics and not in binary like you.
Deer Ed, I think I captured your likeness
pretty closely! I imagine all editors with cigar in hand, like Perry
White or J. Jonah Jameson. |
|
[Big Pine
29] What good, good memory we have of the old days. Yes “Ping Ping”
was there. I just had to see if anyone was really paying attention. You
get an A, or should it have been a BP30, 31, 32? We will never know the
real truth. That was a lot of big trucks in one spot, though. Right my
new friend? |
|

[Are the old dopers just reliving the good old days in the Keys]
Nope, just trying to remember the good old daze! |
|
[No to TSA
Head] Over 4 months ago the president nominated a well qualified man
to head the TSA that oversees transportation security. Well the No
People didn’t want the man put in place because he would have allowed
the employees to join a Union. The G.O.P. was worried more about working
people joining a union then they were in trying to keep America safe
from terrorist. Now the No-ers will try to blame the president even
though their own Senator, Jim DeMint, blocked the nomination. The
constant No, no, no to everything our President does is starting to take
its toll on Americans. Take a look at the President’s approval ratings
as they are indeed climbing up again. FOX News is even seeing the
President’s ratings go up. Why don’t the republicans just go home for
their last 2 years? It’s easy to call in no for everything. Thank
heavens the American people are not as dumb as repubs wish they were,
and are starting more and more to side with Obama. I now return you to
your daily bashing of our elected president. |
|

[If
PCs are complicated and difficult to make it
do what you want it to] Nowhere did I say it was complicated and
difficult. You just interpreted the words "choice" and "education" to
mean that. Like I said, Macs are for the technologically (and in your
case the intellectually) impaired. How's that AOL account working out
for you? |
|
[IKC taken seriously] If you’re looking for new
members I would think that you would post your meetings on the Coconut
Telegraph Bulletin Board, along with a point of contact or website. |
|

[Intelligent Thinker's Movement] What a concept!
Herman Cain: T*H*E New Voice |
|
[From the Right: I am ... I suppose... I will... I must... I
can... I'm a...] Oh man, bummer. You caved. They finally got to you.
You bought into their personal attacks. But see, here's the thing
- most can't (for a lot of reasons) come back your words, so they make
you the subject of their responding. You've never made it personal
until this last post. Get back to your base - reality. It's about
issues, not what people say about the town crier. Focus. You're just
the piano player. (Ed: He does try to keep
himself separate from his posts by referring to himself in the third
person as if it was his alter-ego writing. He mostly writes,“This Right
Winger …” or “The Right Winger …” It’s bad enough that I have to add the
first person “I” to most other posts written by those who try to exclude
themselves personally from their own posts, but anyone writing in the
third person drives me nuts.) |
|
[Another
snowbird story] I was riding my bicycle down the road by Venture
Out. A car pulled up alongside of me and the driver screamed and
cursed at me to get on the bike path. I was hugging the right side of
the road and there were almost no cars on it, so he could have easily
gone around. I responded to him with all my love and kindness,
something to the effect of, "Go f**k yourself, a**hole." Big
surprise--the car had NJ plates. He then went down to the end of the
road, turned around, swerved over and screamed at me again. You’ve just
got to love these folks.
The bike path was flooded in areas and was full of people walking dogs
otherwise I would have been on it. |
|

[New Year's Eve] Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on
New Years Eve. Middle age is when you are forced to. And old age is when
you can’t. |
|
[You in your esoteric rambling have insulted half of the Earth's
population which is very insensitive of you] That is stretching fact as
far as possible to find an offense to take. |
|

Orion's Belt points the way down to rising
Sirius. Betelgeuse, Sirius, and Procyon form the nearly equilateral
Winter Triangle. |
|
Why is Al Qaeda trying to destroy Detroit? We've
already done that ourselves. |
|

People are mad that Obama is playing golf in Hawaii. They weren’t
mad when Bush went horseback riding in Texas during crisis. The world
has changed. A President doesn’t have to be on Pennsylvania Ave to
preside. |
|
Learn about
sea level rise on Big Pine Key.
http://frrp.org/SLR%20documents/FINAL%20-%20Aug%2021%20-WITH%20COVER.pdf |

A smart car does not improve intelligence levels. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu |
|
Wednesday
December 30, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Tuesday December
29, 2009 |
|

[The Panty Bomber]
Seriously, if you're looking forward to 72 virgins on the other side,
how smart is it to blow up your underpants while wearing them? |
|
[Sloan would be better read if he wrote concentrating on one
point instead of a whole litany] Use your Scroll Wheel. He is Kafka
incarnate, stream of consciousness prose style. Editing is physically
and mentally impossible.
Everything you said is correct, but I hope he never changes. Buried
among all the angst are occasionally words profound and wise. |
|
[Naked
Calendar] Sixteen women in the Florida Keys are going 'green' and
naked for a good cause. Titled "Women Sustaining the Earth" the calendar
features the women whose ages range from 44 to 78 years old and is sold
online to raise funds for 'green' causes. The first printing of 500
calendars, which sold out almost immediately, benefited a Florida Keys
community garden effort. The second printing benefits a nonprofit
organization sustaining Nancy's Secret Garden in Key West.
Erika Biddle, who hosts an environmental radio show in the Keys, came up
with the idea. "The calendar project was inspired when I heard Arnold
Schwarzenegger say on the news, 'If the environmental movement wants
more participation, the environmentalists should be more sexy'," said
Biddle who was one of the models. In the calendar some of the models are
topless, others draped in fabric or foliage; their images are paired
with statements on nature and the environment. "None of the women are
model figures, like size 4 or something like that," said Biddle. "They
are real women in a real environment, and I think people will relate to
it."
Like Biddle, the calendar's four photographers donated their time to
create its images of environmental and personal grace. "These are women
who are at the apex of their personal power, whether they're 40, 50, 60
or 70," said photographer and project editor Carol Tedesco, "so I took
it upon myself to make it my job to reveal the spirit of the women."
"Miss July" Rosi Ware of the Key West Garden Club posed for a back-view
shot wearing a sarong skirt and long necklace. "I don't see why you
can't have fun and be sexy as well as helping the environment," said
Ware. "As long as people don't mind looking at a 54-year-old woman with
no clothes on, that's fine with me."
Calendars are $25 each, including postage and handling within the
continental U.S., and can be ordered through
keywestcalendargirls.com. |
|
[White
House Glossary for 2009]
Angry mobster
– a person waving tea bags in public that is not happy with government
wasting the taxes he/she pays.
Beer summit -
a new way to publicly embarrass the police when they act stupidly.
Bipartisan
bill – bunch of democrats +1 republican.
Climate change
– formerly known as an Academy Award winning idea about a global
warming.
Closing Gitmo
– let’s not do it but say that we did.
Enhanced
revenues – higher taxes.
Fat cat
bankers – all fat cats that are not cabinet members, presidential
advisers or campaign contributors. |

The Keys sure are weird. Here it is almost January and the
flowers are blooming. |
|
[One lion male mated 157 times in 55 hours] So Tiger got the
wrong nickname? |
|
All
Marathon residents pay the same tax rate for Marathon Fire Rescue
services. But there are a lot more medical calls for Marathon Fire
Rescue to go to Key Colony Beach than any other part of Marathon. So all
Marathon taxpayers are paying for those KCB area calls. Subdivisions
that have higher number of calls should pay more because they use the
service more. It’s easy to do by adding an extra tax line just for KCB
taxpayers. |
|
[Locals asked to leave restaurant] I feel for you,
but telling someone you are a local does not make you a local. Almost
all tourists and snowbirds I have had a difficult time with insisted
that they were locals. The restaurant mentioned yesterday is not local
friendly. They just say they are to get the summer business. |
|

“The system worked” Janet Napolitano, aka Janet “Incompetano”,
Mr. Obama’s Secretary of Homeland Security, commenting of the attempted
terrorist mass murder on Christmas day in the skies above Detroit. |
|
[Browser
not installed on Windows 7] I upgraded to Windows 7 and Internet
Explorer was pre-installed. it's the big E on the bottom right! |
|
[Drivers’
License Security Act] I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass
surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and
diabetes. I'm half blind, Can't hear anything quieter than a jet
engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and
subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, I
can hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 89 or
98, have lost all my friends, but, thank God, I still have my driver's
license. |
|
[Cisterns]
Part of what prompted me to drive up to No Name Key yesterday was an
article in yesterday’s Key West Citizen giving a lot of coverage
to the commotion a No Name Key woman is making over her having to use
cistern water in her home for drinking water. She maintains it isn’t
safe to drink; she has opinions by experts, one expert was from Texas
somewhere, backing her up. She wants the Aqueduct Authority to run
Aqueduct water onto No Name Key, so she won’t be at risk. I thought that
if I was on the Aqueduct Authority and she came before me, I would say,
“File your lawsuit, Bitch. You bought that home knowing it was on a
cistern. Caveat f**king emptor!” |
|
To
the 9 anti-Sloan posters, please folks, just use your scroll
wheel. You do not get to be the keepers of what Deer Ed posts. This is
starting to smell like attempted censorship by gang rule. Please Deer
Ed, don't succumb. Rambling is not against CT's posting rules. Boring
and irritating yes, but worthy of the delete button no.
We're bigger than that, we know how to scroll and leave others alone
to get along in life. What happens when we all decide we don't like
(just as an example) the word Red. Does that mean every poster has to
stop using the word Red, and Deer Ed can't post anything containing
Red?
The bigger picture is where does personal judgment end and censorship
begin? I know I'm always preaching the good of the group prevails (or
should). But that's when the group is in danger or jeopardy. Long,
tacky, boring posts present neither. Yes, Sloan’s website is an
option, but if leaving him on CT preserves, for us all, the right to
post, then on he stays; and scroll wheel I will do. |
|
[IKC]
That club has too many rules. |
|

[Big Pine 29 Bust] Why all the chatter about this? Are the old
dopers just reliving the good old days in the Keys? |
|
[Obama to Blame] Obama’s administration has
dropped the ball again. First the terrorist father calls and warns them
about his son. The political correct Obama administration fails to
follow up on this and puts over 200 people at risk.
When being interviewed Sunday Obama’s security chief said
the system worked and now today after being told how stupid that sounded
she corrected itself and said the system failed.
Will Obama fire her for saying that or does he believe
she is right?
Can Obama stop sunning on the beach and playing golf to
address the American people. Why is he hiding? |
|

[Mac vs PC] A commercial made it easy for you to determine which
computer is best for you. If you look like the Bill Gates guy, buy a PC;
if you look like the gay simian guy, buy a Mac. |
|
[Earth can take care of herself] How do you know that the earth
is a her, because it is big and round? You in your esoteric
rambling have insulted half of the Earth's population which is very
insensitive of you. They have sensitivity classes out there that may
help. I am glad, however, that the Earth can take care of itself
unlike a lot of the people who voted democrat. |
|
The
2010 Bocce Season begins January 11. You need at least 4 players
per team. If you don't have 4 or more persons, come out on Wednesday
evenings at 6:00 p.m. and meet others who may be looking to form a team.
Bocce equipment will be available on those nights for practice.
Jan 11- April 14th League Bocce
April 17th - Bocce Playoffs
April 18th - Bocce Party
The cost is $100 per team and $20 per person. Captains
meeting and League fees due Jan 4th at Big Pine Key Park at 6pm by the
bocce courts. To sign up a team or for more information: Call Inez
305-923-9552. Hurry, team slots are limited!
See the Bigpinekey.com Bulletin Board for information
regarding our 2010 season or come on down to the park on Wednesdays at
6:00 p.m. to see what it's all about. Bulletin Board |
|
[IKC]
I’m always surprised at how gullible readers are. Some can’t recognize
humor or irony. |
|
[Foreigner]
Abdulmutallab received a valid U.S. visa in June 2008 that is good
through 2010. Abdulmutallab claimed to have received training and
instructions from al-Qaeda operatives in Yemen, law enforcement
officials say. Are there many other resorts in the Middle Keys that use
visa workers other than Hawks Cay?
When Hawks Cay hires and pays locals a living wage versus
busing in immigrant workers from Homestead and exploiting third world
visa workers, they will be accepted in the Middle Keys as a decent
employer. Different owner - same game. ~anonymousinthekeys@yahoo.com |
|
Weird News
Photos.
Weird News Photos: Strange Santas | NBC Miami |
|
 [Too
Hard to Edit] Was that the same person whose eyes spin around when
they try to think? |
|
[Gay Son]
To the Mom who wrote in yesterday that her 14 yr old son would never
ever kill any living thing and that the "other 14 yr old iguana killer
is disgusting and must be a redneck. Lady, it’s time to start
considering that your 14 yr old son is probably gay. Stop confusing the
kid. Respecting life is an all or none thing so I hope you and your son
don't eat anything that was harvested just to feed you since that would
not be "respecting life. It’s people like you who say, “Well, that's
different." |
|

I wanted to spend the holidays with loved ones, but instead I'll
be with my family. |
|
I wonder what Sloan's reaction will be to all
those negative posts about him yesterday. I suspect he will either
ignore them or spin them in his head to become some kind of spiritual
affirmation. Unfortunately he won't try to step back and examine why so
many people would react to him that way. Sometimes, Sloan, the majority
is right. Speaking of right, the arrogant From the Right guy should also
try a little introspection. |
|
[Henry
Woods in coma] Henry is one of the sweetest persons I have ever met.
I met him while he was running for Supervisor of Elections. We asked him
to please explain the issues on the ballot. His knowledge and
experiences poured out of him. Get well soon Henry.
Henry Woods in coma | KeysNews.com |
|
The Iguana
Killers Club, IKC, would like to share this great video with all the
avid hunters on how to properly shoot and cook the invasive iguana. The
IKC bumper stickers have been printed and we expect delivery early next
week. These free stickers will be available at numerous locations
throughout the Keys or by contacting the IKC. When you sign up to become
a member of the IKC you will receive a membership package which includes
12 IKC bumper stickers, embroidered IKC ball cap, 250 rounds of ammo for
the IKC41 air rifle, custom printed Dead Iguana Departed tee shirt, your
life time membership card and numerous discount coupons to local
businesses that support the IKC. (I think this guy should have gutted
the iguana before cooking it.)
http://www.tampabay.com/video/?bcpid=28597115001&bctid=30465815001 |
|
Grouper
Ban begins Friday. No-take rule extends from
January through April in Atlantic Ocean.
Grouper recipes.
Florida Seafood Recipes - Grouper: Seafood and Aquaculture. |
|
[Every Republican voted against
healthcare] When you are a card carrying
member of the Party of No its required to vote no. Now they are required
to say that even though the Repubs had the single payer option removed
and then had the buy-in for Medicare removed, you have to say they had
the same old “No” into the program. Insurance companies stocks have gone
through the roof thanks to the Nos. |

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! |
|
[History of
liberal vs conservative] Humans originally existed as members of
small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish
and lobster in the winter.
The two most
important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the
invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups,
Liberals and Conservatives.
Once beer was
discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.
Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while
our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent
their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they
were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement..
Other men who
were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
Liberal movement.
Some of these
liberal men eventually evolved into women. Those became known as
girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years
conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land
animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern
liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef
well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives
drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still
provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of
the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works
productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living.
Liberals
produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after
the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for
nothing.
Here ends
today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Liberal may
have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding
it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off. |
|
I
got my first iguana when I was 10. It was 1964 when I was staying
at my grandparents’ and my Grandmother came into the kitchen screaming
that an iguana was eating her prize orchid. I grabbed my Daisy and put
10 BBs into the darn thing before he keeled over. Grandma bought me a
Nylon 66 as a reward. That 22 got me enough kills that summer to join
the IKC.
Gramps
sponsored me and introduced me to the guys at the clubhouse. What a
great group of guys. Long live the IKC! 35 years a member and still
going. My grandson joined last year at 10 too. The family that kills
together stays together. No one in my family has ever been arrested or
divorced. My son graduated college and my daughter is a Pediatrician. I
guess they are all pretty well adjusted. No alcoholics or drug abusers,
regular church going God-fearing people. We eat meat and think global
warming is the biggest joke since Chicken Little said that stuff about
the sky. |
|
[Bare Naked Islam] Kudos to the Coconut Telegraph poster who told
us about this site. http://barenakedislam.wordpress.com/ |

[Free Plug of the Day] I can fix most any of the old pinball machines. Joe
872-2289 |
|
[Big Pine 29 Bust] Whoever posted that "Ping Ping"
was not arrested doesn't know what they are talking about. Nelson "Ping
Ping" Jamardo was convicted and got the heaviest sentence of all the
defendants. He got out of jail earlier than expected for testifying
against other dopers. |
|
Polish
President Lech Kaczynski has signed into law the compulsory chemical
castration of some sex offenders. The practice has been tried in
other countries, but usually on a voluntary basis. According to its
politicians, Poland now has the severest legislation towards pedophiles
in Europe. Under the law adults convicted of raping a child under the
age of 15 or committing incest will be forced upon release to take drugs
to reduce their libido. The practice is commonly referred to as chemical
castration. The Polish law was drafted following a high profile case
last year, in which a 45-year-old man repeatedly raped his daughter and
fathered two children by her.
I declare the Polish joke officially dead, as Poland is
now the smartest country in the world: chem-stration! |
|
“The System worked.” On Today and in other interviews
yesterday morning, Department of Homeland Secretary Napolitano attempted
to use her own ignorance as a shield. Each time she was hit with a hard
question, her response was to the effect “yeah, we're wondering about
that ourselves.“ She also continued to point the finger back at George
Bush, repeatedly mentioning that the security procedures in place were
formulated under the Bush administration. Whatever happened to “change
you can believe in”?
Before she was appointed to her current job, she was governor of
Arizona, and according to some who earn a living in the security world,
not very overloaded with security training or experience. |
|

[Windows computers--If you know what you’re doing you can
configure them from bare bones to internet uber-machine] So, if it's
complicated and difficult to make it do what you want it to, it's
somehow better? Makes sense to me (he said laughingly). |
|
Israel recalls all of its
ambassadors worldwide. Sign of the times or shades of WW2?
http://www.eutimes.net/2009/12/israel-recalls-all-of-its-ambassadors-worldwide/ |
|
American
car brochures bring back lots of memories! If you like cars, this site
contains color brochures for most brands back to the 20. Click on the
brand and then the year-model; once you click on a particular
year-model, all the pages will come up in small print. On some, the page
numbers are shown below; click on the number to enlarge. On others, it
seems you have to click on the page itself to get an enlargement.
http://www.lov2xlr8.no/broch1.html |
|
If health care is a right lets get everyone insured. If health
care is a privilege we need to stop making hospitals take people into
there rooms that can't pay.
Everyone in the country legally should have the right to have access to
health care and all do. You don't however have the right to expect
someone else to pay for it. Anything that is forced on you by the
government is neither a right nor a privilege. Mandates are forced on
subjects; citizens have the right to choose. The problem is exaggerated
by those that want to create the urgency toward this reform as opposed
to a meaningful one. |
|
[Snowbird
Hating] We are now stocked up on water, food and toilet paper, our
vehicles are on jacks and we are locking ourselves in our house until
April or until the danger of the northern snowbird invasion has been
officially declared over.
Local prices
get raised too high when they come. It is time to shop online again and
not pay sales taxes, get free shipping to my front door and make the
snowbirds pay all the taxes here so we get free sewer pipes. |
|
[Boondocks]
They have to remember who feeds them April to Dec. The last time I was
there I felt like I was in the way of the hired help. They took out the
VIP Room which replaced the dance floor and put in tables. You can't
dance on the stones downstairs. MM 24 Band was an hour late starting and
the toilet is a trailer out back. We left there and went some where else
where everybody knows your name. ~bluebirds531@hotmail.com |
|
No
Name Key Bridge connects Big Pine and No Name
Keys. In the old days, there used to be a wooden bridge connecting the
two islands. But that bridge burned, and for some years after that,
there was no bridge. I first came to Big Pine Key in March 1986, spring
break of my second semester in law school, to fish for tarpon in Bogie
Channel with people from my hometown, Birmingham, Alabama. I was staying
that trip at my father’s home on Lower Matecumbe Key. The charred
remains of the old bridge were still sticking up in the channel. About
half-mile toward the backcountry from the old bridge I caught and
released a big tarpon, using live mullet on a boat rod. Wore me out.
Never wanted to catch another tarpon that way. Never did. The old
wooden bridge is where the Old Wooden Bridge Fish Camp at the Big Pine
Key edge of the new bridge got its name.
I had a brief conversation with a fellow, who looked close to my age,
throwing a cast net for pin fish, to use as live bait. He said he
catches big snapper under the center of the bridge, and it was going to
be a good tide soon. It was still running in, almost full. When the tide
began to turn, he said, which I knew, was when the fish bite the best. I
wished him luck, remembered all the times I had thought I would spend a
lot of time on that bridge fishing, talking with interesting people from
wherever, and had never done it. Maybe some day I would get around to
it, I thought. Maybe. |
|
[Local
Rules] The snowbirds better learn the rules down here. Several
neighbors just hollered at a pontoon boat full of snowbirds diving for
lobster. No dive flags, no permits and in an illegal area of our canal.
Are all these people that careless? |
|
The
President was right on target today when he went before the world
press and told the protesters in Iran and their government that the US
supports their rights of protests and that they should demand and
receive a full accounting of the people jailed or killed because of the
crackdown against their rights. He made it clear that their voices
should not be dealt with by violence. |
|
[From the
Right] I am a certified old fart, and it’s likely that the some
readers of this site probably do get a severe case of agida when they
wade through my postings that require some measure of thought and some
appreciation of facts. I suppose that we should give some thought to
dumbing down our comments for them. Perhaps we should remember that the
Obamaphiles amongst us are easily smitten with simple Left Wing
propaganda. So, in the spirit of Right Wing comity, I will just ignore
their squeals and simply suggest that they either take antacids or not
read my postings if it causes them pain. We all know that the truth
hurts.
I must
respectfully decline one posters silver-tongued plea that “Das Reich”
guy “suck his (the Obamaphile’s) thing”. I can understand the magnetism
that a truth teller such as me, can have on a repressed personality, but
I’m a card holding heterosexual. It may not be appropriate to inject
fact or truth into this discussion, but the “Das Reich” guy spoke of was
a Socialist, Adolph Hitler. Just maybe the poster lusts for fellatio
from a Socialist, as in Socialized Medicine? After all, he does have a
man crush on Obama. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am Include Coconut
Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Tuesday December
29, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Monday December
28, 2009 |
|
[Mac vs
PC] If you like to finagle and customize your computer and
download a lot of free stuff, the Mac is not for you. If you
want to limit your computing experience a Mac is for you.
Windows
computers are in over 90% of homes and businesses. Mac is in just
about 3%. All free downloads are made for Windows machines (PCs). If
you have a problem, chances are pretty good that your friend has a
PC and can tell you how to fix it. Not so with a Mac.
Mac does
have snob appeal; it’s like an exclusive club for people who pay too
much for a computer that is limited as to what it can do—and then
brag about it! |
|

[Catin' Around] A scientist studying lions commented that
lions are really boring, the laziest of all the cats. They will lie
in the same spot for twelve hours and not move a muscle. Lions are
vigorous when it comes to reproductions. The same scientists
observed one male mated 157 times in 55 hours! |
|
[Any information on the Big Pine 29 bust can
be posted here by simply clicking
I Have Something to Say . The bust is public knowledge and was
all exposed in court; so what’s so secret that the officer knows,
and why won’t he publish it here?] There may be names associated
with this event that have not received much public disclosure and I
can see a need for privacy. I'd prefer to keep this a private
matter as well, but I don't know how to do that other than to
exchange information via private emails. I'm not about to post
my home address here. |
|

156 countries sing All You Need is Love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7D2g5v-Sg |
|
Photos comparing the Normandy
of 1944, shortly after the landing of allied troops, with pictures
taken today, in the same locations.
Slide Show |
|
[Volcano]
This natural-color image of Mayon was captured on Dec. 15, 2009, by
the Advanced Land Imager on NASA's Earth Observing-1 (EO-1)
satellite. A small plume of ash and steam is blowing west from the
summit. Dark-colored lava or debris flows from previous eruptions
streak the flanks of the mountain. A ravine on the southeast slope
is occupied by a particularly prominent lava or debris flow.
Ashfall blanketed at least three towns in Albay, raising new health
fears for thousands already bracing for an eruption that could come
at any time. Health officials warned the tiny particles could cause
respiratory problems or skin diseases, and could affect the
thousands of people crammed into evacuation centers.
http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_1550.html |
|
[To the commie that keeps dumping on Sarah]
See kids, this is what happens when a man lives to be 70 and never
gets laid. |
|

Christmas at the super secret headquarters
of the Coconut Telegraph. |
|
[Iguana Killer] To the so-called 14-year old
who claims he just shot his first iguana. You better be glad you
are not my child. That would be the last living thing you ever
killed. Of course, my children would never have done it in the
first place. They have been raised to respect life. From your
comments, it is obvious that you think killing this defenseless
creature was funny. Yes, I believe you described yourself pretty
well, but maybe left out a few other choice words. The term
"redneck" comes to mind. By the way, my 14-year old read your
comments and said you are disgusting to him, and he hopes he doesn't
know you at school. |
Parrotdise
Waterfront
New Year's Eve
Special For Two $150
(Reservation required, add taxes & gratuity)
Appetizer Choice
1. Fish Dip
2. Conch Fritters
3. Shrimp Cocktail
Bottle of Wine Choices
1. Red Rock Merlot
2. Rancho Zabaco Zin
3. Lange Pinot Gris
4. Groth Sauvignon Blanc
Entrees Choices
1.Twin Florida Lobster Tails
2. 6oz. Filet Mignon with One Florida Lobster Tail
3. 22 oz. Cowboy Cut Ribeye
Dessert for Two
"Tres Leches"
And a Bottle of Champagne!
http://parrotdisewaterfront.com/ |
|
Is our guacamole bug-proof?
Miami-Bound Beetle Hates Your Guacamole | NBC Miami |
|

Firefighter Jim Ryan, who worked at Ground
Zero on 9/11and for 3 months afterward, died of pancreatic cancer on
Christmas Day. Ryan, 48, wanted to go to D.C. last month to campaign
for legislation compensating those who got ill from working at the
site. "It's all about the guys to come after me," said Ryan, who was
too sick to go. "And there's going to be plenty of them."
|
|
We eat regularly at Boondocks
and are locals. We even eat there with our puppy when
there are not a bazillion tourists in town. I guess that is the only
time we are welcome. My husband and I stopped by Sunday and while
wondering out loud how soon an outside table would be available, a
young man at a nearby table offered it to us as he was leaving. That
was our most hospitable encounter that day at Boondocks. I had just
sat down when I was told by a "supervisor" that there was a wait
list for tables and I had to sign in and could not sit down. So I
went upstairs to sign in. Gee, no one pounced on the table while I
was gone! Must really be in demand. We sat down at the table
again. The waitress came over but was clearly worried about being
yelled at, said she had already been yelled at by management (it was
a busy day, why would you abuse your staff?). We told her we were
local, would be here long after the transitory tourists had left,
and there was no indication when we arrived that we had to "sign
in". Further, there was no race to seat others at the table when I
got up to comply with instructions to "sign in." The table was still
available.
Maybe they could have averted this uncomfortable
situation by instructing their wait staff to tell people coming in
that there was a wait for tables and could they just please sign up
with the supervisor at the "hostess" desk upstairs? Okay, so we
played by the rules, signed in, stood around waiting for a table or
staff interaction, saw nothing happening at the table and sat down
at it again. It was clear that no one was being seated at the empty
outside table. This time we are visited by another "manager" who
says she is sorry but people have been waiting 20 minutes for the
table we just sat at (really? where are they?) and she "has to ask
us to leave". We mentioned to her that no one was being seated at
that table. She reiterated that we were being asked to leave the
premises. So we took our puppy and left.
All the way out, even while pulling into traffic, it
was clear that that table was still not occupied. It sure looked
like the people waiting for tables were waiting for tables inside,
not outside. The management did not manage an overflow crowd well,
did not communicate effectively with incoming patrons, did not even
post a crummy little sign saying "please check in with hostess
before sitting down". Any or all of these minor actions would have
prevented us from being asked to leave by the manager-bouncer person
and there would have been a system in place in which both potential
patrons and overworked wait-staff would have played by the same
rules.
Despite Boondocks’ claims that they love locals and
want to take care of them we sure got screwed over; and they think
we will be coming back when the tourists are gone and they really
need local money. They better think again. We have been in the Keys
since 1982 and we are locals. Trust me, we will tell this story to
everyone we know and work with in the Keys. Boondocks’ lip service
to locals on US 1 radio is only that. We will tell all our friends
that if they want to take their family and puppy to a nice place in
the Keys to eat, we recommend Keys Fisheries in Marathon. That’s
where we went, and we were not insulted. Locals have options. ~keyslocal@live.com |
|
[Mac
vs PC] Macs are best for the
technologically impaired. They limit you choices and have a "big
brother knows best" attitude concerning their products. They’re good
for people who could never program that VCR to stop blinking 12:00
AM. PCs have a vast amount of choices. You can configure them from
bare bones to internet uber-machine. The trouble there is that you
have to know what you are doing and be responsible to educate
yourself about the basics of the technology. The picture explains it
even better than I could ever do. The type of people that Macs
appeal to still have AOL accounts. |
|
[Power is Intoxicating] This is really worth
seeing: our Democrat leadership with a steady hand on the ship of
state. This clip of a floor speech of Senator Baucus, given just
after lunch, just might give you some idea just how much really hard
work went into the Senate version of Obamacare. Waitress, I'd like
another very, very dry Grey Goose vodka martooni pleash. By the way,
honey, you sure have a cute pooper.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5Y9X5ggxzA |
|
[Long
Beach Rd lost 200 ft. of beach front] Hey, hey, hey, no one
called anyone a lair. I grew up here, been here a very long time and
I said, “Look at the tide line on the old bridges. It has not
changed. They have been in place for well over 80 years. The water
has not risen.” Take your meds and have a great New Year. |
|
The
Iguana Killers Club (IKC) should not be
confused with the International Kennel Club. The Iguana Killers Club
was established in 2009, after receiving a Federal grant to rid the
invasive iguanas from the Florida Keys. There has been some concern
about how the IKC disposes of the numerous iguana carcasses each
day. At its last meeting the IKC drafted rules of deposal to be
written into their bylaws after being approved by majority vote from
the active members.
1. No
iguana carcasses will be disposed of the in the local waters or
canals unless it has been gut cut to insure that the carcass will
sink immediately.
2. No
iguana carcasses will be placed in unattended neighborhood trash
cans for disposal without prior permission of the owner of said
waste containers.
3. No
iguana carcasses will be tossed into the woods as there are sanitary
and environmental concerns and issues unless it is wrapped in
plastic. Recycled plastic is recommended.
4. No
iguana carcasses will be left to rot at the point of termination.
5. No
iguana carcasses will be thrown to the roaming unleashed dogs.
6. No
iguana carcasses will be comingled with the key deer carcasses or
dumped on the refuge burial site.
7. No
iguana carcasses will be left on the side of the road for the
Department of Transportation or the Big Pine Key road prison crews
to dispose of.
8. No
iguana carcasses will be burned unless the carcass has been verified
as dead by another member of the IKC.
9. No
iguana carcasses will be sold as edible meat unless the funds
collected are donated to a local humane charity.
Hopefully
the new by-laws of the IKC will clarify the procedures of disposal
to be followed when disposing of any iguana carcasses by any IKC
card carrying member. The IKC always strives to continue to uphold
the high standards of the Nationalist American Sportsmen
Association. |
|

[Game] If you draw a crooked line the snowman will bust up.
Line Rider |
|
Acevedo makes the big time!
The Miami Herald named its "Winners and Losers" for
the year in the Sunday edition. Randy was listed as loser #1. |
|
Little
Torch Key is the next island down US 1
from Big Pine Key. I had a young buck Key Deer in my neighborhood.
It particularly liked grazing (to the nub) my salad greens and sweet
potato vines. I told it to lay off, if it didn't want to end up in
my stew pot. I wasn't serious, just pissed off that I had gone to
all of that work to feed a Key deer. But then, a neighbor raised
peacocks and barnyard chickens and ducks, and they had a fine party
in my garden, too, and made a heck of a lot more noise than the buck
Key deer. I had a gang of raccoons and feral domestic cats in
residence, too. And snakes and all sorts of lizards and birds.
Sounds pretty idyllic, looking back on it. All but the woods rats
that took over the trailer and made it easier for me to move out and
head to Key West to live. |
|
[Big
Pine 29 Bust] I really don’t understand
why the big deal about the Big Pine 29. But anyway “Ping Ping”
wasn’t even there. He was never arrested for that, he was left out.
That’s why he was pissed.
|
|
[Dognappers]
Don't discount locals for stealing designer dogs and then selling
them. It's not always Spanish speaking people from Miami.
People want money and that's an easy way for them to get cash. They
are the lowest of the low and deserve what comes their way for doing
it. People get very attached to their animals and worry if they are
suffering. Without knowing what happened to this little black and
white dog (Shitsapoo) the owners, their children and grandchildren
will have to wonder forever. Some people are just nasty buzzards. |
|
[I’m not aware of any process Mac does better than
a PC, especially graphics] There is a reason that virtually
every professional computer graphics person in the world uses a Mac
rather than a PC. As a layout person for a large national magazine
once told me, "Trying to do graphics on a Windows machine is like
trying to lace your shoes with mittens on." |
|
[Grouper
Ban] Yippie, the groupers get a break from slaughter! Where is
the Tourist Development Council on over-fishing? When there are no
more slow moving, slow producing grouper in our waters, the
fishermen will have to find something new to kill. Why don't they
hunt the pythons? It's amazing how the powers that be are doing
very little to control over-fishing in exchange for tourist
dollars. The grouper are like under water puppy dogs and it's a
good thing they are off the menu for a few months. Since TCD sank
the Vandenberg maybe they could become pro-active on the massive
over fishing so there may be fishies left fifty years from now for
the tourists yet to come.
We can help by only eating sustainable fish and by
being ethical anglers. Ethical is a word we do not hear much in
Bubbaland. Try it on for the new year. |
|
[Not been to Petronia St in
years] Neanderthal and a recluse I see.
And I couldn’t help but notice there were no black people. Did
you noticed anything else, like you growing a tail? I bet you wear
glasses too, maybe it’s time to spend some money to get yourself
some new specs. I don’t know where they went, they were in
church! Who else do you wish to pick on tomorrow? |
[W/D
Deli] My wife ordered a pound of ham sliced very thin. The
cutter sliced a sample piece and my wife said it was what she
wanted. She then told the cutter she would be back for the ham in a
few minutes. I stood there and watched the cutter reset the machine
to a thicker cut so she would not have to work so hard. I told my
wife that and we smiled at the cutter and told her to stick that
pound of flesh where the sun doesn't shine! |
|
[Profiling is Better] The reaction to the
latest airline incident was predictable: increased screening for all
airline passengers instead of increased screening for the ones who
have the highest probability of causing a problem. I know
this is profiling and not politically correct, but it works. How
many 70 year old ladies have been caught trying to take down a
plane? |
[Drivers’
License Security] "As expected, a large majority of states and
territories—46 of 56—have informed DHS that they will not be able to
meet the Dec. 31 REAL ID material compliance deadline. As the
National Governors Association has said, the states have made
tremendous progress in driver's license security but simply cannot
fulfill the requirements of REAL ID. That's why Secretary Napolitano
has supported the efforts of Governors and Congress to enact PASS
ID, which puts states on the path to implementing national standards
for identification documents and will enhance security across the
country.
"In order to ensure that the
millions of Americans traveling this holiday season are not
disrupted, DHS is extending the Dec. 31 REAL ID material compliance
deadline. The May 10, 2011, deadline for full compliance remains in
effect, and the Department will continue to work closely with states
to meet this deadline. However, Congress must act to address
systemic problems with the REAL ID Act to advance our security
interests over the long term. DHS is committed to moving forward to
implement this key 9/11 Commission recommendation—just last week,
the Department announced the availability of $48 million to states
for the Drivers License Security Grant Program, to help prevent
terrorism, reduce fraud, and improve the reliability and accuracy of
personal identification documents." |
|
We want a leader with great poll numbers. Then
why the outrage when the most important poll taken in this country
is the President’s election by the majority of the American people,
yet you complain about that poll result because your side lost.
Playing with poll numbers is a fools folly at best, but keep
swinging slugger. |
|
A friend started
to install the Windows 7 Upgrade on his Windows XP Sony
Laptop. I told him that is not the way to do things. We downloaded
a test program from Microsoft that checks your system to see if all
is well for the upgrade or clean install. We found out Windows 7
will not run on that computer unless you go through all kinds of BS
to update everything -- all drivers and software. Also, to run his
existing programs, you have to do a duel OS install and keep XP in
operation.
Windows 7 does not have any browser and you have to
get a third party browser to get online! Many of the tools and
goodies XP and Vista had are gone. Windows 7 is not ready for prime
time by any means. I will stick with Vista or XP for at least a year
or until the red flags are off W7. |
|
[Nature or civilization] There is in modern
civilization, which poignantly presents in the Keys, a deep and
pervasive drive to subordinate Mother Nature to human desires,
drives, dreams. This is a truly peculiar stance for humanity to
take, inasmuch as people are simply tenants at sufferance on this
planet. I told someone the other day that Earth can take care of
herself, shake people off her any time she wishes. I should
have added that even though that is true, we still have a solemn,
reverent duty to be good stewards of this planet, which we simply
are not. |
|
Just
what a motorcyclist needs for riding on
the freeway. Look out you handheld cell phone using drivers! Each
mini gun fires at a rate of 3000 rounds per minute.
During initial test and evaluation it was
demonstrated that a single 2 second burst would blow a 40 foot RV
with tow car clean off the road leaving an open and unobstructed
route ahead. It will vaporize an SUV in seconds! Tests further
indicated that after two or three handheld cell phone using drivers
in a row were eliminated, others put away their cell phones or
voluntarily pulled off the road and became a "non threat." |
|
[Too
Hard to Edit] Hi there, are some questions I have ,that maybe
you could answer #1 why is it that .All the bacteria problems are
near waste water treatment plants.#2 the brainiacs that say be
prepared ,and then make it so everyone is dependent upon, the
electric company #3.systern systems are now under attack why because
? is it for safty or is it because there is no profit if anyone is
looking you will find that prepared means depend on your
services.And you can leave if there is a storm.Because you, now have
No water No electric waste water is flooding the streets .And you
are ,Not prepared ,you are now .Slaves to systems that are now under
repair.I do not live on No Name key but Thay are prepaired for the
worst, we on the rest of the Keys are not . Than You for making ,Prepaired
into, A word with no meaning |
|
[Sloan]
That was the longest post I have ever seen yesterday! Does Sloan
think people are going to read the whole thing? He must be
dreaming--oh, that's right--he is.
Sloan would be better read if he wrote shorter
missives, concentrating on one point instead of a whole litany of
thoughts. I’ve been to his website and found it too difficult to
keep track of his email back and forths. He should take the time to
edit them before he posts them. His back and forths are too
confusing to make sense most of the time. What’s the point of having
a website if the writing is too confusing? |
|
[Sloan] I'm having nightmares myself now that
Sloan is back. Between him and the Right Guy I don't want to read
this column any more. |
|
[Sloan]
Please, no more of his whacked-out dreams! No one except Sloan
cares or can understand his mindless ramblings, and I find it
painful to try. Enough already. I thought we got rid of him.
Between him and the From the Right guy, the Coco Telegraph is not
fun nor informative any longer. |
|
[Sloan] In my dream, a certain poster could
even ruin a wet dream. Whew, I think he really did shit his pants! |
|
[Sloan]
Yesterday must have set some kind of record for obnoxious posts with
Sloan and From the Right. The one thing those two have in common is
advanced age. These old farts have lost all perspective and are
going to try to impose their views upon us no matter what anyone
says. This used to be a nice little forum where folks could post
their views is a fairly short form. But now it is as if we have been
taken over by some geriatric cyber-freaks who have diarrhea of the
fingers (This is why I wouldn't let you be a friend on Facebook,
Sloan). And the From Das Reich guy can suck my thing.
You two
should go get a room and invite Sal and Sandy while you're at it. |
|
[Sloan]
I'm sorry, is it Monday already? I must have fallen
asleep reading Sloan's megalomania. |
|
Dear Ed, If Sloan is going to contribute
regularly again; I humbly request that you warn us ahead of the
post the way that you warn us about the From the Right guy. (P.S. I
happen to like the From the Right guy) |
|
[Sloan Bashinsky] Sloan, you can't lose what
you've never found. |
|
[Sloan] Ed, you promised! (didn't you). I
thought that horrid little man was gone for good and here he is
again. Is there a law that says you have to publish his moronic
drivel? If so, I'm out. |
[Muslim
Terrorist] Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet
Napolitano has been briefed on the incident aboard Northwest
Airlines flight #253 and is closely monitoring the situation.
Passengers may notice additional screening measures put into place
to ensure the safety of the traveling public on domestic and
international flights.
As always we encourage the
traveling public to be observant and aware of their surroundings and
report any suspicious behavior or activity to law enforcement
officials. We encourage those with future travel plans to stay in
touch with their airline and to visit
www.tsa.gov for updates.” |
|
[From the Right]
Why has every Republican Senator voted against the current version of
Obamacare? That's a fair question tossed by Democrat poster yesterday.
First, most of them voted against it because it will wreck our economy, it
will pile on debt on top of the new Obama nation breaking highs of debt. The
vast majority of Americans see the economy as a more urgent priority than
Obamacare. Second, most Americans don't want increased government intrusion
into their lives by Socialized medicine. Americans strongly opposed to
Obamacare outnumber strong supporters by about 2-1. Third, about 80% of all
Americans are satisfied with their existing health care. Fourth, no
Republican senator wants to see the quality of American health care
deteriorate to Canadian or British standards. Fifth, no Republican senator
wants to see seniors and baby boomers suffer the horrific decline of
Medicare that must ensue if Obamacare is enacted. Sixth, no Republican
senator wants to see any American citizen in threat of jail if he refuses to
buy health insurance. Seventh Republican senators don't want illegal aliens
stealing our health care dollars. This list could go on and on, there are at
least 20 more strong and cogent reasons that I will list to kill Obamacare
if anyone demands it. The poster who asked that question is either
misinformed or just foolish if he thinks that Republicans are any different
from himself or his neighbors. The list of most wealthy Americans has more
Democrats than Republicans. The fact is that there are far more very wealthy
legislators that are Democrat than Republican. The fact is that Republicans
give much more to charity than do Democrats. The fact is that the average
Republican and Democrat are just about even in terms of income. The myth
that Republicans are wealthy fat cats is the hate propaganda of class envy
pushed by unionists. It is revealing that the Democrats have to rely on hate
and jealousy rather than the wisdom of their political positions. It reveals
them as being arrogant elitist who are disdainful of their constituents. |
|
The deadline for publishing is
6am Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or
our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Monday December
28, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Sunday
December 27, 2009 |
|
[Dinner
Review] Two of us went to Ambrosia (the former Santa Maria at the
Atlantic side of Key West) Japanese restaurant. The owner was the only
Japanese, the sushi chefs were all Mexican. The sushi was fresh and
delicious and the décor was right out of South Beach--beautiful and hip.
Dinner for two with a couple of beers was $70. I’ll go back, the place reeks
of class.
For
dessert we went to Better Than Sex on Petronia St. It is a small and
charming place that serves only dessert. They have wine and beer, but we had
coffee with our desserts (it comes in a giant mug). I had their signature
dessert Better than Sex ($14)--it wasn’t. My companion had a pear cobbler
topped with vanilla ice cream ($12) that had a delicious crispy top. The
pear filling was fresh and good.
All
the desserts are made there. The atmosphere was warm and cozy with cloth
draped walls and everything else was red. The tables and chairs were
mismatched and there were sofas to sit on too.
Neither one of us had been to Petronia St in years and couldn’t help but
notice there were no black people to be seen. I don’t know where they went. |
|
[No] Has
anyone ever wondered about every Republican Senator voting 'no' on health
care reform? That must mean that they, all their relatives, and all their
friends have never experienced any kind of hardship dealing with medical
issues. Never been refused medical insurance, never had their insurance
cancelled. They must be so wealthy that they don't have to worry about
anything - except paying more taxes. |
|
[Big
Pine 29] "Ping Ping ratted them out." He might have, because he served
very little time. The 29’s lawyer told me they got caught because there were
29 Cubans milling around in an area where there were never Cubans on a
Sunday morning. They stood out like a sore thumb. |
|
[Deadly
Cisterns] No Name Key resident Beth Ramsay-Vickrey maintains cistern
water poses a significant health risk, including death even thought humans
have been drinking cistern water since time began. Some people will say
anything they can think of to make up for the mistake they made by buying on
an island with no electricity or running water. |
|
[No
Marathon Marathon] Forget the technicalities of a sanctioned race; just
have a race in Marathon and call it a marathon. So what if they cross the
same rout twice. It’s an event that would be good for the City’s image. Key
West had a half-marathon recently. Where there’s a will there’s a
way. |
|
[Illegal contractor who fell through the former Mayor of
Key West’s cistern] After review by KW Code Enforcement it was
determined that Commissioner Jimmy Weekley was telling the truth when he
said the carpenter fixing the floor (so the plumbers could put in a new
toilet) was just a handyman and the job was too small to require a permit.
|
|
Wisteria
Island owners have made plans to developed
Christmas Tree Island just across the channel from Key West. They will start
by putting in a marina and mooring fields and then probably fight the City
for years in order to build more than the 22 homes currently permitted. |
|
Mac’s operating
systems are not written by Microsoft. They
are written by Macintosh (Apple). The other inaccuracy from that post was
the writer said “Mac World is over except for motion graphics”. What does he
mean by that? I’m not aware of any process Mac does better than a PC,
especially graphics. I’m also not aware of any video card made for a Mac
computer that is any faster than those made for PCs. |
|
[A
Pound of Meat] Have you ever noted how hard it is to get a pound of meat
from the deli at Winn Dixie? 9 out of 10 times when I ask for a pound of
meat I get a half pound. I even hold up one finger when I say “One pound.” |
|
[Big Pine 29 bust] Why won’t the officer tell us all
what he witnessed during that famous bust? |
|

The 82 year old Pope held midnight mass at 10 pm. It's now called
"The Early Cardinal Special". |
|
[IKC Propaganda]
I am only 14 years old and yesterday I shot and killed my first Iguana. Then
I read the Coconut Telegraph and learned through studies that I am going to
grow up to be a loose screwed mentally handicapped
child molester or some other deranged type of person. If I had of known this
I would never have shot the Iguana. Maybe I should become a Catholic priest.
|
|
[Big
Pine 29 question contact information to answer any questions. Can we
communicate privately with help of Coconut Telegraph editor, as an arranger]
Sounds good but I'm not too clear on how to do this. Can you explain?
(Ed: I’m confused too. Any information on the Big
Pine 29 bust can be posted here by simply
I Have Something to Say . The bust is public knowledge and was all
exposed in court; so what’s so secret that the officer knows, and why won’t
he publish it here?) |
|
[Unedited]
TO THE COMMIE THAT KEEPS DUMPING ON SARA WHY DONT YUO GO BACK TO THE
COMMIE COUNTRY YOU CAME FROM AND TAKE YOUR COMMIE WIFE WITH YOU we
know you |

[Going “Rouge”]
Sarah’s new book?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4n1WOS4eQc&NR=1 |
|
All
I can say to the snowbird from PA is welcome back! Come "home" soon
and have a safe trip. |
|
The
trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way
again. |
|

We don't need no stinking Code enforcement! |
|
If you love high poll numbers and feel they prove
you’re a great leader you’re going to love Fidel Castro. He gets real great
poll numbers. The wacked out leader of Iran may be the craziest man on the
planet, but like the republicans say, "He gets great poll numbers." I don’t
want a President that worries about poll numbers. I want a President that
makes the tough decisions.
Outstanding work on healthcare Mr. President no matter what
that Party of No says. Gee, I wonder how good the Communist leader of
China’s poll numbers are. In fact he may be the Party of No’s leader when
looking for great poll numbers. |

Pastor Morris O. Wright died. I recollect that he
was the homophobe who tried to stir his Stock Island flock into walking down
Duval Street with baseball bats and clubbing every queer they saw.
He thought he was man of god. Maybe he was just a Neanderthal with a
clerical collar. |
|
[Airplane
Security] Everyone should fly naked. Disposable body suits. Change into
one at the airport, pick up you stuff at the other end eliminate all carry
on. Exceptions for medications with prescriptions. |
|
[Long
beach Rd. lost 200 ft. of beach front] I’m the man who lives on long
Beach Rd. I have lost 200 feet of my yard in the last fifty years. It was
not due to beach erosion. There is none in my area. You can call me a liar
if you want to, but I’ve lived here and know what I see. The area in front
of my house is very shallow and any rising water is easily seen because of
the slight incline of the sea bottom.
You people have your minds made up not to believe in facts. I
think it’s like someone else said, that if you admit to climate change
you’ll have to do something about it. |
|
It
looks as if the outboard motor thieves have started a new business:
stealing designer dogs. Does anyone want to bet that these people are coming
down from Miami, and that English is their second language? |
|

John Paul II was Pope from 1978 until his death on
April 2, 2005. Attached is a power point slide show which was made in 2007
on the 2nd anniversary of his death.
Slide Show |
|
Since his little affairs have come to light, several of
Tiger Woods' sponsors have dropped him. However, Pfizer has decided to
sponsor him. They are making a new drug called Tiagra. It's good for 18
holes. |
|
Christmas
Nightmare From Big Pine Key
Dear Santa,
I really do hate to bother you after such a hard night’s work you just had,
but it’s about my Christmas present that made me feel like shit yesterday. A
dream that kept recurring leading up to and through yesterday. A veritable
nightmare. Was I that bad this year? The dream went sort of like this
(It will take a little while to tell)…
Starting with the punch line, I was told by God to run again for the
county commission, next year (2010). Run against George Neugent, again.
Meaning, I, suppose, a move back to my rat-infested trailer on Little Torch
Key, which lies in the heart of George’s voting district - District 3. His
county commission office is located on the next Key up, Big Pine Key.
I was told in the dream that for years the darn capitalistic tree
huggers have viewed Big Pine Key and its little No Name Key next-door
neighbor as The Heart of the Resistance, Mother Nature’s last stand in the
Keys, to be protected at all costs, not only because of their natural value
but also because of their symbolic value. I was told in the dream to
play close heed to Mother Nature, because she actually was a true fiscal
conservative’s best friend.
In the dream, I felt a growing distemper in my soul over news stories I kept
reading in the local gazettes and hearing on the coconut telegraph about the
commies living in homes on No Name Key pressuring the County Commission and
the Aqueduct and Electric Authorities to bring, at taxpayers’
expense, water, sewer and electricity to No Name Key. Commies who
had purchased homes there knowing there was no public water, power or
electricity. Commies who somehow had gotten in into their liberal heads that
they were entitled to special treatment just because they wanted special
treatment. Commies who seemed to think they were not themselves responsible
for their not having public water, sewer or electricity in their homes.
It reminded me of people who bought homes under the flight path of a
commercial or military airport and then complained about the noise of
landing and departing aircraft. That the County Commission and Aqueduct
and Electric Authorities were even listening to these commies boggled my
mind. I knew that if I had been on the County Commission, I would have told
the commies to take a hike when they came begging for relief from their own
decisions, relief that would cost taxpayers, espcially this taxpayer, money.
Something else chewing on me in the dream was seeing that George Neugent’s
bosom buddy, David Rice, is going to ruin, er, run for the County Commission
again. David served on the County Commission until he resigned in 2006
(albeit a bit belatedly, the resignation) to run against the commie Ron
Saunders for the State Legislature. During that race, I developed a deep
dislike of Ron Saunders because of the truly dirty campaign he waged. That,
and he owned a dacha in Tallahassee, where he lived when he wasn’t living in
his home in Key West. A dacha the likes of which David Rice also would have
purchased, if he had beaten Ron, which Ron kept pointing out in his dirty
campaign.
Through Ron Saunder’s insane capitalistic buddy, Sandy Downs, who was
running for sheriff, I had learned that David Rice, all the while he was
sitting on the County Commission, was making a wonderful fortune off mental
health deals he, a psychologist, had going with the Monroe County Sheriff
Office, where his son Mike was #3 in the chain of command and oversaw the
part of the operation that did business with his father’s company and with
his father personally. George Neugent told me this arms-length deal was
perfectly okay, part of our God-given free enterprise system, a sure sign of
David Rice’s business brilliance and acumen. Our sheriff back then, Rick
Roth, was a Republican, so of course the commie-posing-as Republican County
Commission would rubberstamp any budget Sheriff Roth presented for approval,
for David Rice’s benefit. That was the true commie way, learned by American
Republicans from the Politburo.
I was reminded in the dream that when I ran against George Neugent in 2006,
he kept saying at candidate forums, if Sloan got elected, he would bankrupt
the county. What caused George to say that was Sloan kept saying he was
against any more new development, period the end. He kept saying the Keys
already were way over-developed, and not a person in at the candidate forums
or in the Keys could look in the mirror and honestly say any differently.
That is what would have bankrupted the county, if Sloan got elected: He
would have opposed all forms of new development. Well, guess what?
The County went bankrupt, pretty near, without any help from Sloan. And what
caused it to go busted was, yep, George Neugent, David Rice and other
commies posing as Republicans betting the entire conch farm on new
development.
Hell’s bells, the commies posing as Republicans on the County
Commission would have done those now deep-sixed developers and other
nearly deep-sixed developers a real big favor if they (the commies posing as
Republicans) had told them (the developers) to take a hike. Thanks but no
thanks. We, as God-fearing, flag-waving, patriotic American elected
officials are supposed to put the health and welfare of developers and the
free enterprise system first. We are not supposed to succumb to a
clever capitalistic tree-hugger plot to approve developments that are going
to go under and poison the people’s minds against God-fearing American
developers. Furthermore, we sure as hell can’t let our misguided developer
comrades tear down any more trailer parks and run off their and our hired
help. Who would take care of our dachas, hotels, motels, inns, restaurants,
marinas and golf courses, if we didn’t have poor people living in the Keys?
Then I was reminded in the dream of my own dacha on Little Torch Key, the
single-wide, rat-infested trailer I have been letting a poor person live in
for nothing, just to keep the place attended at no cost to myself. I was
reminded that when I was moved out of that rat-infested dacha, to Key West,
by God, I unclaimed my homestead exemption because it would have been
totally un-American and totally unpatriotic and a major theft of taxpayer
dollars for me to continue to claim the homestead exemption and not live
there. Then I was reminded maybe there are more than a few properties in
the Keys being claimed as homesteads even though the owners live somewhere
else, or live somewhere else most of the time. I got sort of burned up
thinking about that, because it sure looked like a commie plot to rip off
hard-working American taxpayers who live full time in the Keys. I got to
thinking I would try hard do something about that, if I got elected.
Then was yelling loud and long in the dream about the fact that we still
don’t have countywide sewerage treatment. Countywide sewerage treatment that
should have been put in place on David Rice and George Neugent’s watches,
and on the watches of their
fiscally-irresponsible commie-posing-as-Republican predecessors, when the
county had the tax papers’ funds to get it done. Instead, the
taxpayers’ money was spent on commie-posing-as-Republicans boondoggles and
ego edifices. I was reminded that I have yelled long and loud about people
with perfectly good operating private sewerage treatment plants having to
give them up to tie onto the countywide system, without being fully
compensated for the taking of their private property by the county commies.
Then I started hollering in the dream about the fact that George
Neugent lives in Marathon, where David Rice also lives. Now there’s nothing
wrong with living in Marathon, but most of George’s District 3 lies below
Seven Mile Bridge and is rural. Many of George’s constituents are farmers,
actually. They practice the revered horticulture of our nation’s Founding
Fathers, hemp growing and rope making. Most of George’s District 3 has about
as much relationship to and sympathy for Marathon as the capitalistic
tree-huggers beloved Key deer have for the Sombrero Country Club, where
George plays golf frequently with his Politburo comrades.
Now there’s nothing wrong with playing golf at the Sombrero Country Club, or
playing golf anywhere. I used to love the game and I still sometimes go out
for old time’s sake. In 2006, when I had a summer membership at Sombrero
Country Club and played a few rounds, mostly alone, and hit a lot of balls
on the practice range, I learned that very few people living south of Seven
Mile Bridge play golf at Sombrero County Club, or at Key West Golf Club.
They live in a part of the Keys where downstairs enclosures are a really big
deal. Not something George Neugent has to fuss with, as his dacha, like my
rat-infested place on Little Torch Key, is one-story. Built right in a flood
plain, George’s and my dachas are legal, but for someone with a newer two
story home, the downstairs of which, on the same level as George’s and mine,
is illegal.
What’s wrong with that picture, I was asked in the dream? What’s wrong is
older homes in the flood plane were grandfathered, newer homes where not.
And, yes, the commie-posing-as-Republicans county government did not enforce
the new code and people kept building homes with downstairs enclosures, or
adding them on, and nobody ever said anything. And nobody ever told
subsequent buyers of those homes that the downstairs enclosures were
illegal, and all of this was known to the commies-posing-as-Republicans
County Commission, who were in bed with the commie Realtors, who very
definitely did not want home sellers, or Realtors, to be required to tell
home-buying prospects the truth about downstairs enclosures in the Keys.
Then FEMA (the commie side of the federal government) got involved and
started telling the county and owners of downstairs enclosures that they had
to remove them, even though they had been de facto legal as far as
the county was concerned. Bending to the commies in FEMA, the commie County
Commission and commie Code Enforcement started putting pressure on owners of
homes with downstairs enclosures, even as the commie county commissioners
fought the commies at FEMA, even as the commie county commissioners keep
saying they would do nothing to jeopardized people in the Keys getting flood
and windstorm insurance, which the FEMA commies kept threatening to cut off,
if they didn’t get their way with downstairs enclosures. If that wasn’t then
taking of Americans’ property without due process of law, then what in the
hell was it?
The way I a true fiscal-conservative American looked at it in the dream, if
you build in a flood plain, you assume the risk of living there. If you
can’t get insurance to protect against hurricanes, big winds, rising water,
then that’s part of the price of living in the flood plain, and in America.
You have no right, Constitutional or otherwise, to have such insurance. If
you think you do, then you are a commie. If your commie mortgage lender who
jumped through hoops to loan you the money now wants to foreclose because
you don’t have flood and wind insurance, then that also is a risk you
assumed by buying a home in a flood plain in America. Like mortgage lenders
would foreclose in this upside down real estate market, where so many Keys
properties are seriously in arrears mortgage-wise. Think of the money people
would save by not having wind and flood insurance. With the savings, they
could self-insure. What could be more fiscally conservative and American
than that?
I then found myself thinking in the dream of how much I hate the thought of
running for office again. I saw myself saying at candidate forums that I
don’t want the job, don’t vote for me; I’m only running because God made me
do it. I’m only running because I say things nobody else will say; because
I’m not worried about not being elected; because Rush Limbaugh is even too
far left to suit me. If he had a home in the Keys, he would want federal
flood and wind insurance. He would want special deals with the sheriff
office. He would want to get hauled for free to a Miami hospital by Trauma
Star’s helicopter the commie-posing-as-a-Republican former sheriff promised
Keys people they wouldn’t be billed for using, then he billed the hell out
of them.
I found myself saying in the dream, if I by some fluke get elected, I will
not serve. I saw myself running as a write-in candidate, an Independent.
Running write-in would save me the filing fee, but would get me invited to
all of the candidate forums. I wouldn’t get invited to any of the Republican
candidate functions, but then, I never got invited to any of the Democratic
candidate functions before, either. I thought that if had it my way, all
races in the Keys would be non-partisan. If I had it my way, a candidate
could only serve one term. And then I suddenly the world turned upside down;
I was the the state mental. I heard a voice, causing me to shake in terror
and puke up all of my Christmas turkey: “You will run as a republican, if
you know what is good for you.” The filing fee for running as a member
of either a Republican or Democrat, is a good bit more than running as an
Independent, because Independent candidates don’t stand for election in the
partisan primaries.
Some time passed in the dream before I was able to get a grip on myself.
Then, I found myself thinking, okay, if my Great White Father in the Sky is
going to make me do this, I will go out of my way to piss people off.
I will hunt up things to say and do that cost me votes and earn me the
undying criticism on commie Keys blogs such as the Coconut Telegraph Gossip
Column of bigpinekey.com and the Topix blogs, where I have been vilified
plenty in the past. I found myself thinking that I haven’t given those
kindergarten commies anything to complain about yet. Kid gloves is all they
had gotten from me up to now. I found myself thinking plastic explosives,
stinger missiles and neutron bombs. I will teach them the true meaning of
democracy, free enterprise, property rights, and God-fearing.
I found myself thinking in the dream that I will teach the gadfly commies at
Key West Citizen and The Keynoter the true meaning of the term “Republican.”
I even found myself thinking I will join the Democrat county commissioner,
Kim Wigington, in hollering for lobbyists to publicly register, so we will
all know who is pushing our county commissioners and county staff to be
fiscally irresponsible. I found myself thinking I will threaten to
bring lawsuits against the county and its elected officials, on behalf of
its citizens, for mal- and mis-feasance. Sue them personally, go after all
of their assets, to reimburse the taxpayers. I found myself thinking I
will lampoon and attack every commie I see, their official political labels
will be irrelevant. The Red-hater Joseph McCathary will end up looking like
a Junior Leaguer compared to me.
I found myself thinking in the dream, yeah, maybe if I take that approach I
will be able to drag myself out of bed each morning; maybe knowing what a
bad boy I will be each day will give me incentive to keeping moving. For
sure, my trying to be reasonable, trying to use persuasion, trying to use
logic, trying to use compassion, trying to use fiscal common sense, trying
even to use God, didn’t stem the tide of the godless commie insanity that
drives our county government. The only thing that had any impact on the big
commie locomotive racing uncontroled up and down The Overseas Highway (US
1) was Hurricane Wilma. Quite a derailing that fair lady brought to the Keys
way of life. Quite a derailing. Even someone so fiscally-scewed-right as me
can see it just don’t pay to piss off Mother Nature.
I found myself thinking in the dream that I could model myself in Wilma’s
likeness without too much trouble. I saw that I could talk at candidate
forums about how frenetic George Neugent got every time I went after his
bosom buddies, the Goodmans of Cudjoe Key, who run the
local Republican Party. They finagled a Limestone
Mining mangrove-cutting permit from the commie-infested Department of
Environmental Protection, which allowed the the Goodmans to chainsaw an
entire island of mangroves in front of their home, just so they could have a
better view, according to what they wrote on the application for the
cutting permit. George Neugent never saw anything wrong with that. In fact,
he denied the Chainsaw Massacre even happened, even though plenty of photos
were taken by DEP and others that it indeed did happen. If George had been
true to the faith, he would have howled bloody murder for DEP to fine the
Goodmans the million or so they owed in fines, which would have lightened
the taxpayers’ load, especially this taxpayer's load, in funding the commies
at DEP.
I found myself thinking in the dream that George Neugent, David Rice and
the Goodmans are fused at the hip: they claim to be fiscal conservatives,
but they behave like the Politburo. I found myself thinking that when I ran
against George in 2006, I ran the most friendly campaign anyone had ever
seen. But when I run next year against him in the Republican primary, it
will rival the dirty campaign Ron Saunders ran against David Rice, who was
plundering the county treasury through a sweetheard Politburo deal with the
sheriff office.
I found myself thinking in the dream that I will shine the light of
democracy and free enterprise on George Neugent, David Rice, the Goodmans,
and lots of other commies in sheep’s clothing, who have been getting away
with stuff at the tax payers’ expense, especially this taxpayer’s expense
– like that cute little deal the Marathon Politburo had with Cape Air to
provide the Marathon country club set county-taxpayers-subsidized air
service to Ft. Meyers. A deal that nearly got me kicked out of a county
commission meeting, so upset was I over it, even as everyone else in the
room seemed behind it, since nobody else in the room spoke out against it.
Not even any of the tree huggers spoke out against it. Birds of a feather,
one and all.
I found myself thinking in the dream, maybe if’ I’m lucky, the commies will
all band together and have me killed. Maybe they will get some help with
that after I lay bare the marijuana and other drug dealings of going on
inside the Monroe County Sheriff Office. Drug dealings that don’t get taxed.
Taxes that could lower what the taxpapers, especially this taxpayer, pay to
keep the sheriff office running.
I found myself thinking in the dream that I just can’t wait to see the
twitter on bigpinekey.com’s Coconut Telegraph and the Keys Topix blogs. And
I just can’t wait to see the commies come screaming out of the woodwork, er,
mangroves. And I just can’t wait to hear from the New Age policitcal-correctors,
who don’t even believe the devil exists. So correct that they died and don’t
even know it yet.
Then I woke up. From the smell, I knew I had shit in my pajamas. Thank God,
it was only a dream. Thank God.
Sincerely, and please, Santa, is there any chance you can just stay at the
North Pole next Christmas?
Sloan Bashinsky |
|

In the mid 1950's one of the earliest (if not the first) known appearance of
Frankie Avalon was with Jackie Gleason live on the Jackie Gleason Show
performing "Tenderly". Look at the other films on the side bar. They don't
make them like this any more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxzCS1vlhTI |
|
[From the Right]
It’s fascinating how two intelligent people can view the same set of facts
and circumstances and arrive at two diametrically opposed conclusions.
Yesterday a poster praised the current Obamacare plan. The poster said that
Americans were becoming more and more favorably impressed with the plan. I
believe that poster is taking as fact what he simply wants the facts to be.
It’s called magical thinking. The latest polling (12/21) revealed that only
19% of likely voters strongly approved of Obamacare while 45% are strongly
opposed. Even the RCP site says that as few as 36% of those polled were
“favorable” versus 53% were “opposed”. Folks, that tells this dude that
people like the plan less and less as they learn more about it. The
Democrat slogan machine is getting old and creaky if it still is relying on
calling the Republicans “the Party of No”. I doubt that there are more than
a fist full of uninformed Americans who don’t realize that the Democrats
completely and utterly shut out the Republicans in making the latest
Obamacare mess. The Democrats rule the roost. It’s the Democrats who are
saying “No” to the American voter. My guess is that as more and average
working people realize that they will be forced to submit, that they will be
paying more, not less, that there are no substantive measures that will
actually reduce the cost of medicine in the bill, that even more support
will evaporate. My guess is that Legislators home for the holidays will be
deluged with angry average Americans in opposition to the bill. The bill
will actually raise both our deficit and our debt. Big insurance is all for
it because they will pick up about 35 million new customers who will be
forced to buy policies. We will know more in about a week. This bill is so
atrocious that it angers everyone. There is no coming to together for a
common good, there is no compromise, there is only divisiveness and rancor.
Hells Bells already there are a bunch of states that are trying to figure
ways to get out of it. We are being forced away from the high ground, and
are being herded like sheep into a middle ground made up of quicksand. We
all should be giving a lot of thought as to why the urgency, why the rabid
pursuit of this particular goal when only 22% of us believe health care
should be the most important issue facing our nation. It's not about health
care.
(Part II) Did you
ever hear of Jane Hamsher? She is a very liberal activist and founder of
the liberal Firedoglake web site. How about Grover Norquist, the
conservative chief of Americans for Tax Reform? These two persons of
wildly disparate political belief have joined together to call for an
investigation into the activities of Rahm Emmanuel, O’s pugilistic Chief of
Staff. The investigation is to determine specifically what role Emmanuel
played in the failure of Fannie Mae. Emmanuel was a Board Member of Fannie
until 2002. Emmanuel was but one of the coterie of very liberal
Democrats who have reaped huge benefits from Fannie while they drove it and
our country into the toilet. The Chicago Tribune published a story that said
that Rahm’s board used accounting tricks to puff profits even while Fannie
got deeper and deeper into a swamp of bad loans. The profits funded big
bonuses for Fannie Execs, including Emmanuel. When Emmanuel left in ’02 he
walked with a barrow load of bucks. Hamsher and Wright have asked Emmanuel’s
pal Erick Holder, Attny General, to open and investigation. Frankly I doubt
that Holder will do anything, but at least it’s a crack in the wall. There
should be more press on it later. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Sunday
December 27, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Saturday
December 26, 2009 |
|
(eD: No edIT SatuRDAY!!!!!!......b-cuz u
assd 4 iT!!!!!!!!! |
|
Wishing you all a very
Merry Holiday and a Happy and Healthy New Year ...from a snow bird in
Wisconsin going through a snow storm right now. |
|
Harry
the sunglass guy has returned to the Big Pine Keys flea Market after four
months of hospitalization. He went in for minor surgery and received the
wrong medicine that caused him to go into a drug induced coma. (Beware of
Key's hospitals). Harry’s better and would like you to stop buy and see him
this weekend at the flea market and say hello. |
|
The Florida Keys Dragon
Boat Club your dragon boat club sends best wishes and Happy New Year to
all , remember we get out on the water twice weekly on Newfound Harbor for
paddling fun ,exercise and challenge.
http://www.floridakeysdragonboat.com
Captain John Duke
Coastal Sailing Adventures
Inc
28555 Jolly Roger Dr
Little Torch Key , Florida
33042
305 304 5100
http://www.sailingkeywestflorida.com
http://www.floridakeysdragonboat.com |
|
Ghost
of Christmas Past. |
|
LET IT SNOW! | KeysNews.com Christmas Snowfall report from Summerland
Key. |
|
Subject:
ALLAHU AKHBAR GAME
http://www.tapuz.co.il/North/images/nassralla_game.swf |
|
Sarah Palin wins the liar of the year award from a non
partisan news organization.She is now fit to lead the Republican party. |
|
Thank you my LORD and
Savior for your gift of JESUS CHRIST our king. |
|
Does
anybody you know actually celebrate Kwanzaa? I worked with several Africans
who considered it a joke. I think Festivus has more followers. To me it is a
racist holiday made up by a sadistic Marxist, but those are just the facts
so don't let them influence you. |
|
I absolutely
loved the Christmas Day Coconut Telegraph.
Thank you.
Barbara |
|

REWARD There is
a -- $2,000.00 reward
-- for the return of this dog. It is a black and white Shitsapoo. It was
taken from inside a home on Big Pine Key Christmas Eve while the owner was
out. It is a female. She weighs 4 lbs. She is 2 years old. Please call
Terry at 305 304-1801. Classified Ads > Lost & Found |
|
Is there anyone in the Keys
who services pinball machines? Not video, but classic pinball. |
|
Big
Pine 29 question contact information - answer any questions
Can
we communicate privately with help of Coconut telegraph editor, as an
arranger? |
|
The so
called Iguana killer does not even live here- he lives in the midwest and
gets his jollies from jerking our chain. I would tell him to get a life, but
it would be a waste of time; this loser is beyond help. Have pity on him. |
|
LOST DOGS!!! BE AWARE!! SOMEONE IS STEALING DOGS FROM BIG PINE
KEY!!!
On Dec.
17,and Dec. 24 - dogs were stolen. The first dog is a 9lb shih-tzu, name of
Fenny, she is white and tan, and answers to her name Fenny. The second dog
is a 4 lb shih-tzu/poodle, her name is Mia, she is very shy, all black with
a white mustache. These dogs were both taken between the Catholic church and
avenue A. on a Thursday morning. Please please, look for these sweet
doggies. And be careful if you have a small dog, someone is taking them.
If you have
ANY clues whatsoever, call the newspaper, but first call Kathy Vowels at
304-8752 or 872-8916.
Thank you
for any clues you can give. |
|
You're not going to believe this one!
Video |
|
Big Pine 29--One of the ones arrested was a Monroe
County school bus driver, but I don't recall her name. I think some Key West
people were arrested, too. It was a lot of fun if you weren't one the ones
indicted. |
|
Sarah Palin
wouldn't know a nuclear weapon if she was sitting on it. SHE
IS SITTING ON IT! |
 |
|
This
goes to show how the American way of life is nothing but get rich quick junk
companies. Nothing here is important to the extended existence of Mother
Earth!
BUT if
all that matters is money....then!
http://www.comcast.net/slideshow/finance-beststocks09/
http://www.comcast.net/slideshow/finance-beststocks/top-stocks/
|
|
More bar wisdom.
"I went to college. I know
what it is like to be drunk and out of control ..." |
|
The next
window display at Artists in Paradise, Jan 1-15 will be Gale Upmal with her
watercolor batiks on rice paper and Keys style furniture.
She is the
president of the Lower Keys artists network and
Manager of
the Artists in Paradise Gallery.
Gail is a
member of the Key West Art Center in Key West
where she
also displays her batiks. |
|
Subject:
May they all come true?!
http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/flash/pdShell.swf?ihost=http://ak.imgag.com/imgag&brandldrPath=/product/full/el/
&cardNum=/product/full/ap/3173936/graphic1 |
 |
|
ALLAHU AKHBAR GAME
http://www.tapuz.co.il/North/images/nassralla_game.swf |
|
Merry
Christmas Eve everyone!!
Our
days have been so filled with fun and excitement since we were announced the
winner of The Weather Channel's Guaranteed White Christmas. I wanted to
write you a long Christmas letter with wishes of great things for this
holiday season and for 2010! Instead I will wish you a great weekend in a
short e-blast, and hope that you'll tune in to see us LIVE on The Weather
Channel on Christmas morning.
Here
are the details as we know them right now....
Starting at 7:40 AM Eastern Time TWC will be broadcasting LIVE from my yard
(with SNOW!!) on TV. They will go back and forth from Summerland Key to the
Studio until 2PM Eastern time.
However - if you go online to The Weather Channel's
website, they will be broadcasting continuously from 7:40 AM (EST) to
2PM (EST). You won't miss a thing if you watch online!! I was going to go
to their website and find the exact link to their White Christmas broadcast
but I haven't had a chance. I'm sure you are all online savvy enough to
find it on their website!
With the snow that they are planning, grandson Michael will be making
snowmen and we'll have a snowball fight or two. I'm not sure which hold the
most excitement for Michael right now, snow? or Santa?
The
band will be performing at least one or two songs during the day, including
"Local On The Eights" from the "Blame It On The Margarita" CD and a new song
that I've just finished writing!! We're not sure when the performance will
take place, so we hope you'll keep The Weather Channel tuned in while you
are enjoying your Christmas morning.
From our family to your family - we wish you a wonderful Christmas. May you
have the warm tropical breezes that many of you desperately need right now,
and may the tides always pull you back.
Merry
Christmas
Howie
and the Mile Marker 24 Family |
|
IKC Guy
Keep up the
good work. Hoo Ahh! Thank you. |
|
To th ex customs
officer at the BP 29 bust.
island@bigpinekey.com thanks. |
|
To th ex customs
officer at the BP 29 bust.
chefcheb@comcast.net
thanks |
|
Thanks to the poster I
went to real clear politics and saw Mr.Obamas low approval ratings. How can
one man be so unpopular so fast. This man has become a laughingstock to most
Americans with the quickness.
WE HOPED FOR CHANGE BUT
I GUESS WE WASTED OUR VOTE ON ANOTHER TYPICAL backroom dealing POLITIICAN |
|
The 10 Key Largo wood rats that Disney is
donating to the North Key Largo wildlife refuge had better start breeding
like horny rats before an invasive Burmese python eats the rats for
breakfast. Awhile back the refuge tracked an endangered wood rat with a GPS
tracking collar and they located it, in the belly of a large python. If
these rats were developed from stem cell research using genes taken from
Mini and Mickey what are they going to name these new rats? Minickies
|
|
EVER
WONDER WHAT
SANTA
LOOKS LIKE IN
THE
SUMMERTIME ???
Sorta takes the joy out of Christmas, doesn't it ? |
|
The news reported
today that as sections of the Presidents health care plans get released
people are really starting to understand it and think its a solid plan.Some
people wish that sections of it would take affect faster.This is a huge win
for the average American no matter what the party of "NO" is trying to get
you to believe.Great Job Mr. President.Doing something for the average hard
working man on the street is a nice change.Even the American Medical
Association thinks its solid and the Insurance companies are looking towards
a large uptick in their finances.Im sure this post will be responded to with
a lot of cherry picked numbers and will be answered with made up scenerios
to be followed with comments on the made up scenerios but fact is this
brings America in line with other industrialized nations.The extreme left
doesnt think it goes far enough and the extreme right doesnt like anything
the President does so I find the middle ground the right place to be.Great
job Democrats |
|

Our next computer club meeting is coming up this Saturday, December 26, 10
am at the Senior Center. Hope to see you there.
Bulletin Board |
|
WTF2 - didn't know CT published
porn |
|
Yesterday I found myself
reminiscing my love affair with the Keys, which began in 1956, when my
family stayed at the Ocean Reef Club. Back then, it was a very laid back,
rustic, affordable resort. Anyone could stay there, well maybe anyone white.
That was the first time I fished the flats, something that would become the
engine that drove my returning to the Keys time and time again, for forty
years. Much of it was spent staying in the home my father purchased in 1963
on the Atlantic side of lower Matecumbe Key. It was romantic. I longed for
the Keys when I wasn’t down here. I often wept when I left and again on
returning. But no more. The romance is gone. The sentimentality has
vanished. I don’t feel that love anymore, and what came to me yesterday was
my getting involved in Keys politics is what killed the love affair. Now
it’s mostly just a job, living in the Keys.
I thrashed around a good bit last night trying to get down to the topic of
today’s post. Maybe some of what I got up in the wee hours to write will
some day make its way into public view. Right now, what seems to be coming
forward from last night was a dream at dawn in which our State Attorney
Dennis Ward came to me and lamented that I had not made a post today. I
awoke knowing that was a left-handed way for the angels to tell me that I
was suppose to write about something that had to do with Dennis. More
particularly, about something that had to do with crime. But what?
I got to the what when I arrived at Sippin’ Internet Cafe around 9 a.m.,
very late for me to get started, but it was a long night and I was late
finally crawling out of the sack for the last time this a.m. — unless I get
a nap in before noon. Anyway, arriving at Sippin’, right off I note Key West
the Newspaper (kwtn.com) is out early this week, because of Christmas being
tomorrow — Friday is KWTN’s regular publication day. The front page feature,
FIRED WHISTLEBLOWER WILL SUE SCHOOL BOARD, caught my eye immediately.
Before reading it, I read the Key West Citizen front page piece, “Fraud’s
role at debate,” about the recommendation of what I imagination was of one
of the School Board’s bean counters to factor fraud into the school budget,
so henceforth the theft of hundreds of thousands of dollars by the likes of
the wife of our recently deposed Superintendent of Schools, now a convicted
felon out on probation, thanks to a local elected judge, won’t upset the
financial applecart in our school system, because the theft already was
factored into the school budget. What? We give thieves the green light by
telling them we expect them to steal from the school system? Excuse me, but
I think I would give serious thought to firing that bean counter, were I the
new School Superientendent of Schools.
The only part of the KW Citizen article I liked was this quote from School
Board member Steve Pibramsky, who, along with School Board member John Dick,
had aggressively pursued allegations of the thievery in the face of severe
public criticism from segments of the public (bubbas) and from one School
Board member, who was in bed with the Superientendent and his wife. The two
other School Board members took a more conservative (wait and maybe we will
see) approach that might have, if used by Pibramsky and Dick, resulted in
much more harm being done to the school system, if not the outright escape
of the thief and her husband, who had promoted her in the first place,
against the rules, to a position for which she had no legal qualifications,
and then he ignored reports from school system employee Cathy Reitezel of
what his wife was doing, and then he tried to cover it all up — or so a
grand jury convened by Dennis Ward determined, and then a jury agreed, when
it convicted the Superientendent. His wife still awaits trial.
Anyway, here are Pibramsky’s quoted remarks in KW Citizen today: “I think
the school district has a vast majority of honest, forthright people.
However, the culture has been too political, too steeped in patronage and
cronyism. When someone sees something going wrong, they are afraid to speak
up for fear of retribution. Good people have to be protected and bad people
have to be ousted immediately.”
Amen. However, tell that to Cathy Reitzel, who was the State’s primary
witness before the grand jury and later in the Superintendent of School’s
trial. Tell that to Cathy Reitzel, who was told to resign or be fired, by
the new Superientendent of Schools after he was appointed by Governor Crist.
Tell that to Cathy Reitzel, who was fired and now has obtained counsel to
sue the School Board, including members Pibramsky and Dick, for going along
with the firing of Cathy Reitzel, but for whose whistleblowing and testimony
the State might not even have been able to prosecute the old Superintendent
and his wife. Read all about that in today’s Key West the Newspaper
front-page FIRED WHISTLEBLOWER WILL SUE SCHOOL BOARD piece.
Maybe the School Board ought to ask Governor Crist to fire the new
Superientendent of Schools. Maybe the voters ought to fire the School Board
for letting Cathy Reizel be fired. Maybe the voters ought to fire the judge
who put the old Superientendent of Schools on probation. Maybe the voters
ought to quit voting into office Superiententends of Schools who have no
teaching degree and have never taught a day of school in their lives (our
recently convicted Superientendent). Maybe the more things change, the more
they stay the same. Bubba Wubba (politics, cronyism, favoritism,
nepotism) still seems to rein supreme in the Keys. Kill the messenger still
is business as usual.
Sloan Bashinsky |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will
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Menu |
|
Saturday
December 26, 2009 |
|

 |
      |
|
(Ed: There will
be no Coconut Telegraph published Christmas Day in
order that our staff may enjoy the wonderful day with our
families and friends. Merry Christmas to all of you.) |
|
|

Hey folks. Dan at KeyToons here. If anyone will miss reading the
Coconut Telegraph on Christmas Day, I thought I might offer my services
and substitute for our venerable editor on Christmas.
The website
will be at
http://
www.keytoons.com/bigpinekey.html |
|
 |
Tiny
Tim
(real name "Timothy Cratchit") is a fictional character
in the classic story A Christmas Carol by Charles
Dickens. He is the son of Bob Cratchit. It is claimed
that the character is based on the invalid son of a
friend of Dickens who owned a cotton mill in Ardwick,
Manchester.
When Scrooge is visited by The Ghost of Christmas
Present he is shown just how ill Tim really is, and that
Tim will die unless he receives treatment. When visited
by The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come all he sees of Tim
is his crutch, as Tim has died. This, and several other
visions, lead Scrooge to reform his ways. At the end of
the story, Dickens makes it explicit that Tim did not
die, and Scrooge became a "second father" to him.
According to some other versions of A Christmas Carol,
Tim Cratchit eventually gained health by Scrooge's
money, and later became a successful businessman. When
Ebenezer Scrooge died, he became the only member of the
Cratchit family to attend his funeral.
Dickens did not reveal in
the book what Tiny Tim's illness was, but renal tubular
acidosis (a type of kidney failure causing the blood to
become acidic) has been proposed as one possibility, as
has rickets (caused by a lack of Vitamin D).
Tiny Tim is known for
the statement, "God bless us, every one!," which he
offers as a blessing at Christmas dinner. Dickens
repeats the phrase at the end of the story.
|
|
'Twas
the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature
was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings
were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that
St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children
were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions
of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in
her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just
settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on
the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from
the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the
window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the
shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on
the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the
lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to
my wondering eyes should appear,
But a
miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little
old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a
moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid
than eagles his coursers they came,
And he
whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher!
now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on
Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of
the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away!
dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves
that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet
with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the
house-top the coursers they flew,
With the
sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a
twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing
and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in
my head, and was turning around,
Down the
chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed
all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his
clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of
toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked
like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes --
how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks
were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll
little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard
of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a
pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke
it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad
face and a little round belly,
That shook,
when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby
and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed
when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his
eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me
to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a
word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all
the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his
finger aside of his nose,
And giving a
nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to
his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they
all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard
him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy
Christmas to all, and to all a good-night." |
|
Sing
this to the tune of "Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow."
Oh the weather
outside is frightful
and I'm
feeling kind of spiteful
And I've got
places yet to go
Goddamn snow,
goddamn snow, goddamn snow
But I'm glad I
still have some power
I shoveled but
my mood is sour
Cuz I'm
watching the drifts that blow
goddamn snow,
goddamn snow, goddamn snow
When the plow
finally comes to help
I hope that my
face won't offend
I swear at
them and I yelp
As they bury
my car once again
At least I can
say I'm retired
that's why my
wife seems inspired
to stay in the
house while I go
goddamn snow,
goddamn snow, goddamn snow |

Click on a deer and they dance and sing.
http://www.glenn.tapley.us/MC.swf |
|
 |
The
Santa Train is a well-known Christmas tradition in Southwest
Virginia and East Tennessee, but what isn’t so well known is that there
was another Santa Train, and it belonged to me and my little sister. My
story starts in the spring back during the depression – not the one that
got all the publicity – but the one that hit my family in the early
‘60s, when I was about 9 years old.
Daddy was a hard-working man who lost his job due to what we would call
“downsizing” today, but what was known as “modernization” back then, and
he found that jobs for middle-aged men with little education and not the
best of health were few and far between. He found a job working on a big
farm, but the long hours finally took their toll. Mama and Daddy decided
to buy a few acres of land that only an ill-informed city slicker would
ever have referred to as a farm. With a well that went dry about a month
after we moved there, a freak lightning storm that killed both our milk
cows and mostly hilly land that wouldn’t grow anything but scraggly
blackberry bushes with hard knotty berries that were too sour to fool
with picking, to say the very least, the prospects didn’t look too good.
Momma and Daddy were both church-going people, but it’s sometimes hard
to keep your faith when you have two little girls and you don’t have the
least idea where your next dollar – or your next meal – is coming from.
The farm did have (at least in my eyes) one remarkable feature that made
it the best place in the world for me to live. The railroad ran right in
front of our house, and every day, I got to see the trains go by! There
were the long freight trains whose closed cars were filled with every
kind of treasure my mind could conjure up ( and the occasional hobo to
add an element of excitement and danger to the adventure), and the
passenger cars where you could see people dining at tables with white
linen, going places I could only dream of. Every train had a red
caboose, and the man back there would always wave and smile. There was a
small train station a couple of miles down the track, so most of the
time the trains would be slowing down as they passed our house. We got
to know the engineers and conductors by sight, and gave them nicknames
like Grandpa and Uncle Joe. Once in a while they would give a special
toot on the whistle, and as the train slowed down, the conductor would
throw us a string-tied package with a couple of Three Musketeer candy
bars or a treat from the Peter Pan Bakery in Bristol. We knew the
schedule of every train, and would always be there waving. At night,
Mama would let us flash the front porch light to say “hello,” and the
last train was our signal that it was bedtime. We always got an extra
long whistle at night, and I would fall asleep with it echoing in my
dreams.
When December came, things were looking pretty grim. No money and no
prospects, but we still had the love of Christmas deep in our hearts,
and no lack of presents was going to stop it. Daddy cut down a cedar
tree that we trimmed with the same ornaments we had used every Christmas
of my short life (and every Christmas for the rest of their lives). Mama
was busy making over some hand-me-downs, and we girls made
unidentifiable gifts for everybody out of flour paste and “stuff” we
found. With the help of her sister, Mama had managed to save two books
of S&H Green Stamps, and we hunted through the stamp catalog for weeks
picking out our “Santa” gift. I never quite understood it at the time,
but at our house, Santa would only bring us stuff from the Green Stamp
catalog, and only stuff that required one book. We would have a special
Christmas dinner – maybe not as elaborate as in years past – but Mama
was a good cook who canned everything she could get her hands on, so we
knew that whatever we had it would taste good.
A few days before Christmas, we heard the welcoming whistle of our
favorite freight train, and it was coming down the track slower than
usual. My sister and I had made a “Merry Christmas” sign, and were
anxiously waiting in the yard to wave it at them. Secretly, we may have
been hoping for a candy bar, but mostly we just wanted to say “Merry
Christmas” to some of our favorite people. The train was really going
slow, and the whistle was blowing even more than usual, and to our
surprise, they lowered down a huge basket on a rope, swinging it safely
into the yard. Inside was a complete Christmas dinner: a ham with all
the fixins’, fruit, nuts, candy,and a small toy for each of us! It was
wonderful – not just because of our need for it, but because it was so
unexpected and our “train friends” had been so nice. Christmas was
definitely looking up!
On Christmas morning, we were anxious to see what Santa had brought us.
A doll each (from the stamp catalog), and a new wardrobe of clothes for
our old dolls! What was so especially wonderful was that somehow Santa
knew that Mama and Daddy’s present to us on Christmas Eve was some new
(made-over) clothes, and he had the foresight to make matching outfits
for our dolls. Even our stockings were full. It was wonderful!
In the midst of all our excitement, we heard our favorite sound and
rushed outside in the snow with our “Thank You” and “Merry Christmas”
signs. The train was again coming really slow down the track, and the
closer it came, the slower it got. The engine door was open, and
everybody was shouting and waving ... and the train stopped! Right in
front of our house! All of our friends got off the train to wish us a
personal Merry Christmas, and they had more toys with them than I’ve
ever seen in one place (except in the Green Stamp catalog)! Games,
puzzles, stuffed animals, a toy train, and books to color and books to
read! They only had a few minutes, but we managed to exchange names,
thanks and hugs before the train had to go on its way. Their kindness
and generosity continued until we moved away a few years later, but not
before we had become real friends who exchanged Christmas cards for
years afterwards, and although we never met, I became pen-pals with the
daughter of one of the engineers, with a friendship that lasted all
through school. I keep the memories of all those wonderful, generous men
safe in my heart, and if anyone ever asks me if I believe in Santa, my
answer will be a resounding “YES.” I know, I met him, and he wore
overalls and a blue striped hat.
I live far away from the railroad tracks now, but sometimes late at
night, especially when the December air is cold and crisp, and the stars
are so bright they almost hurt your eyes, I hear a train whistle far off
in the distance, and for just a moment, I’m 9 years old again, waiting
to say good night to Uncle Joe, Grandpa, Mr. Lewis, Mr. Beeler and all
the others, and once again, I’ll go to sleep with the sound of the
whistle echoing in my dreams. |
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Friday |

 |
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The Coconut
Telegraph
 |
|
Christmas Eve,
December 24, 2009 |
|
(Ed: There will
be no Coconut Telegraph published Christmas Day in
order that our staff may enjoy the wonderful day with our
families and friends. Merry Christmas to all of you.) |
|
|
 |
|
Hey
folks. Dan at KeyToons here. If anyone will miss reading the
Coconut Telegraph on Christmas Day, I thought I might offer my services
and substitute for our venerable editor on Christmas. Just so you know,
I will be using the same Coconut Telegraph submission guidelines. So,
send in your holiday wishes and what-not. It should be ready by noon on
Christmas Day.
Email
submissions to
keytoons@yahoo.com The website will be at
http://
www.keytoons.com/bigpinekey.html
(Ed; Thanks
Dan, That’s a great idea. Coconut Telegraph readers please email your
posts today to
keytoons@yahoo.com that way I
won’t have a ton of posts to edit when we return.) |
|
No, the Iguana killer wasn’t kidding. I have always been
deadly serious. I wasn’t bragging, I was just stating a fact. I
never thought of my killing as being funny. You, through your taxes,
paid to the Federal government, trained and paid me to kill for your
freedom. I am proud of that. I don’t need your help. I never killed a
family pet except to put it out of its misery. My family raised live
stock which we butchered and sold in our family store. I do recycle; I
put all the unusable parts of the carcasses in used plastic bags before
I dispose of them. My daughter does recognize all the endangered species
and plants in the Keys. The iguana is not on that list. I do have 3
solar panels on the roof of our hunting lodge, which is not in the Keys.
Yes, I do have Publix canvas shopping bags. Yes, I have taught my
daughter to hunt and kill. Humans are natural hunters and gathers.
To call any veteran a sick individual is a disgrace to all the soldiers
that have fought and died so that you and your family can sleep safely
in your beds at night. Then to say you don’t want a war veteran
living anywhere near your family--you are the one that is sick.
If you ever hear a loud popping sound, it won’t be coming from my air
rifle; it will be noise coming from your ass when you finally pull your
head out of it. |

The Christmas Cat Diaries.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J50B1UY0sTw |
|
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on
British TV and radio
1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother.'
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him.'
3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator 'And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford crew.'
5. US PGA Commentator 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them. Oh my god! What have I just said?'
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so
hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday.'
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this. '
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'
11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in
his shorts.'
12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself. |

Click on a deer and they dance
and sing.
http://www.glenn.tapley.us/MC.swf |
|
If Santa were a stone crab fisherman would he be
called Santa Claws? |
|

Sunrise at the Girl Scout camp by Big Pine |
|
[Don't believe the government] Go to factchek.org, a non partisan
site. It helps me form an opinion based on facts, not on others’
opinions. |
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[Vandenberg a great investment] How do we know that? How will we
ever know that? Where is the proof that it was worth the sacrifice of
the many for the benefit of the few? Absent proof (hard fiscal facts),
any claim of greatness is mere rhetoric, irritating background noise. |
|

If the person who asked about the Big Pine 29 will give me their contact
information I will answer any questions you have. I was there as a
Customs Officer and participated in the arrests. I also have the
newspaper clippings with all the names. I don't want to
respond publicly. |
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Wouldn't it be a nice Christmas if everyone said to
themselves, I will be completely responsible for my own actions and
well being! |
|

[Bar wisdom] What did you get your wife for Christmas? I got her
me, what more does she need? |
|
The survey
results are in! Deer Ed was right. After carefully calculating the
results, here are the percentages: There were 46 posts yesterday and
100% of the writers have 'no opinion' about the approval rating of our
President. Thank you for taking a moment to complete the survey and have
a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! |
|

It’s a shame that we are not able to join every other industrialized
nation and enjoy public healthcare for all Americans. Right now
all of the insurance companies are popping the corks on their champagne
bottles. They won and Americans lost. Thanks Republicans! |
|
[Senior Citizens Unite] Speak up. You have the
knowledge use it. Let the younger world know how they are getting
screwed by big businesses and political mad men, whose only goals are
profit and more profit. If the Kids (anyone under 50) don't listen,
smack them. Teach the new generations to survive before it is too late.
You old farts have been there and done that. This is the only rock we
have—save it. |
|

Merry Christmas
from a snowbird who doesn't sit in the sun, except when fishing and
wears a hat and shirt, who always tips at least 20% (it costs a lot to
live in the Keys) and doesn't claim to own the roads. I love your
precious island. See you in early Jan. Happy New Year! (my address
might be Pennsylvania, but I live in Big Pine Key. Never confuse
your street address with where you really live. |
|
Big Pine 29
didn’t get busted on Long Beach, it happened on the property where Jim
Young lives by Liein Edie’s old house. It is said that "Ping Ping"
ratted them out. |
|

Why are they using silencers?
Valley Forge sharpshooter
deer hunt postponed |
|
Is it true that the dirty manicurist salon next to
Office Depot has changed hands (excuse the pun) and is now managed by
new people? Do any patrons have any input? |
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[Lines
in the Sand] This video shows the winner of Ukraine's Got Talent,
Kseniya Simonova, 24, drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated
sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German
invasion during World War II. Her talent, which admittedly is a strange
one, is mesmeric to watch.
Click here: YouTube - Kseniya Simonova's Amazing Sand
Drawing |
|
With people buying these attack dogs and the
county dropping the No Dangerous Animal Law, does anyone know what type
of self-defense weapon is legal to carry to stop an attacking beast from
ripping ones throat out? It is either that or to hell with going to the
bars that allow dogs. |
|
I
have always thought of Christmas time as a good time; a kind,
forgiving, charitable time. The only time I know of in the long calendar
of the year when men and women seem to open their shut-up hearts freely
and to think people below them we're fellow passengers to the grave, and
not another race of creatures on other journeys. Merry Christmas, Deer
Ed. Thanks for all you do. Please continue supplying awareness
and laughter to our days! |
|
Of course Sarah Palin knows something about
defense, after all, in high school she was on the basketball team. She
wouldn't know a nuclear weapon if she was sitting on it. |
'Tis
the season for celebrating and many of those
celebrations include imbibing alcohol which sometimes leaves us the next
morning with uncomfortable reminders of our excesses. But does what we
drink—say bourbon versus vodka—make a difference? Apparently so,
according to a study in the journal
Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research.
Researchers enlisted 95
volunteers. Their sleep patterns were measured to make sure that lack of
rest didn’t distort the results. Those who got drunk on bourbon reported
worse hangovers—headaches, nausea and general discomfort. And they
performed worse on tasks that required careful attention for
decision-making. They didn’t sleep any worse than vodka drinkers,
though.
Here’s why bourbon might hurt
more: many alcoholic beverages contain byproducts of fermentation called
congeners, complex organic compounds that in large doses can have toxic
effects. And darker distilled drinks and wines generally have more of
these congeners than do lighter ones. Bourbon, in fact, has 37 times
more than vodka does. Which, the researchers note, may add to the
hangover effect. So if you’re worried about a dark hangover cloud in the
morning, maybe stick to lighter drinks tonight. |
|

Military moms who need to connect with others
who understand what you are going through.
www.milmoms.org |
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[Afraid of Shadow] It must be nice to have all the money and food
you need. Don't judge people until you have to walk in their shoes. I'm
58 years old and I lost my job a month ago. I'm on unemployment for the
first time in my life and it sucks, you probably think I'm a bum too. |
|

Just look at how much more fun we were having just 6 years ago.
Merry Christmas and the best New Year ever.
www.bigpinekey.com/Archives/2004/archive_nov_04.htm
|
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[Big
Pine 29 Bust]
I wasn't a
major player, but I did catch 4 square grouper on that fine cold, windy
day. |
|

When I was an alter boy we all used to laugh at the people who would
call the church asking what time Midnight Mass was. The Pope just made
fools of us all. He said from now on Midnight Mass will be at 10
pm. |
|
Please don't tell me that the Noel, who won the
lottery in Marathon a few years ago, is the same guy who won the
lottery this time. |
|
 |
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Don’t believe the made up poll numbers you read here
folks. Go to a well established non-partisan website and get the truth.
www.realclearpolitics.com Look at the President’s approval ratings
and tell me who’s lying. Is it the way out right guy that hates the
President or is the non-partisan polling company lying that doesn’t have
a horse in the race? You be the judge. I guess there’s truth to the
quote “Figures lie and liars figure". Someone’s lying. |

Merry Christmas to my lovely wife Lee Ann. |
|
Go to
http://info.com/ and type in the history of the Taliban.
Then read the second paragraph that says "The rise of the Taliban". It
will say that the Taliban was a part of the Mujahedeen. It also will say
the same organization was helping in the fight against the Soviets from
79 thru 89. Again you are reading under the headline "The rise of the
Taliban" so there’s no confusion. The Taliban took over power after the
war, but they were an organization well before that. The Taliban existed
in 1985. I’m done with this revision of history so if you just want to
say I’m wrong that’s fine, I’ve proven my point. I’m moving on. |
|
I
just read an article that said New Yorkers scored lowest on a
happiness survey than the rest of the states. I am shocked, New Yorkers
always seem so pleasant (insert sarcasm here). And when they visit,
they want the Keys to be just like home. But at least they are trendy. |
|
[Americans have the attention span of hummingbirds,
and can be counted on to forget even recent history] Sad but very true.
This was from a few days ago: Remember who was in charge when we invaded
Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction? (receipts found in Saddam
Hussein’s wallet do not count) Or invading Afghanistan looking to
capture or kill Osama bin Laden--how’s that going? Or the beginning of
the current economic recession/depression three years ago. And lets not
forget who was in charge when the price of gasoline went threw the roof.
Yup Obama’s been in charge less than a year, but Bush had eight years,
but you forgot that too. |
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 |
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We're not throwing the iguanas in the canals.
They just fall in when popped. |
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[Ice
Age] There was a show on the History Channel last night on how the
earth was made. They pointed out that the ice ages occur on a regular
basis, about every 100,000 years, and that no matter what we do with
global warming, the ice is still coming, so what is the crap with AGW(?).
Some people just need to get a new cause. |
|
[Review]
I've gone to the Lazy Days South twice in the last week and have had
good experiences both times. The service is prompt and friendly, food
was presented well, prices were fair. Good all around. |
|

[Lies] Did you ever stop and think the majority of politicians
lie to get elected and re-elected? They promise the world, take bribes
(see health care) and then do what they please. You may not like Palin,
but there are plenty out there far worse than she is; and she is not
even in office. |
|
Same lies, different liar.
Guantanamo prison may have to stay open until 2011 (AP)
|
|

I dig all the new red-nosed deer zones on the island. If it were
not for the signs I never would have known we had them. |
|
[Iguana
Killers are Child Molesters] Has anyone else noticed that the
mentally handicapped IKC feller's trash always starts up around this
time of year? He or she has to be a snowbird. During the other times of
the year I get a few months of not having to read his ridiculous posts.
And someone
else hit the nail on the head concerning this person. Anyone who takes
pleasure in killing living animals has some screws loose. Studies have
proven that people who do this ultimately move on to violence towards
humans, such as child molesters, wife beaters, serial killers, etc.
Since one iguana killing poster bragged about killing people in Vietnam,
I rest my case. |
|
 |
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[From
the Right] “I want my country back”; a couple of days ago a poster offered
that quote of a Tea Party demonstrator as an example of what he believes to
be right wing obduracy as relates to change. In tiresome repetition of
common liberal BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome) that poster was compelled to
attack Mr. Bush. The poster relied on the quote, “Adapt or Perish”, to make
his argument that we are blessed to have Mr. Obama as President. The
implications of the quote “Adapt or Perish” (A short history of the world,
1922) are disturbing. Can it be that the liberal poster is telling us that
we must adapt to the dicta of Mr. Obama or that we must perish?
History is littered with the corpses of those who refused to “adapt” to
Socialism. Frankly I doubt that is the actual message of a CT poster, but.
The quote is from a work by H.G. Wells a prolific late 19th,
early 20th Century author of science fiction and political
discourse.
It’s no
surprise the poster chose H.G. Wells and that quote. H.G. Wells was a
utopian
social reformer. He was proud to be a Socialist. He was passionately
dedicated to the implementation of a new world order. Mr. Wells considered
Democracy to be a failure. Wells considered the Nazi’s and Italy’s fascism
to be nothing more than stepping stones leading to a new kind of single,
unified World State. That state to be ruled by a coterie of intellectual
elite. You’ve got to admit that would sound seductive if you happened to be
a liberal elitist who is reveling in new found power. If you’re interested
in reading dry socialist propaganda, you might want to skim one of the many
writings of Mr. Wells in the advance of Socialism. One of Mr. Wells’ famous
works was “The World Brain”. The poster may be enamored of change for
change’s sake, but that is a fool’s errand. In archetypical liberal smug,
snide and elitist fashion, the poster denigrates the American family values
depicted in some ‘50’s and ‘60’s TV shows. The shows that he mentioned
exemplified love and respect in an idealized family setting. Our friend
would have us believe that those values are passé, extinct. To the elitist
poster, those are values to be ridiculed and tossed aside. What has elitist
change wrought? Leering fascination with violence, hate, and bizarre
behavior is the norm in today’s entertainment. Isn’t that "adaptation"
wonderful? I join the Tea Party protestor’s chant “I want my country back”.
There is nothing
new in the Socialist mantra, and there is no change in the Socialist mantra.
It is as noxious today as it was at the end of the 19th Century.
It is antithetical to the American ethos today as it was in the 19th
century. To adapt our society to its constraints would doom us. It is an
irretrievably broken societal experiment. We must fight against the order
that our current leaders are eager to impose on us. Just as our founders
overthrew the tyranny of omnipresent government, we must defeat the current
trend of deeper and deeper government incursion into our lives. If we don’t,
then the failure to so do will result in the extinction of our national
values and freedoms. Change for the sake of change is an abdication of
leadership. Routinely it is demanded by the ego and hubris of a new leader.
Change often causes more damage than the ill that it is directed at, simply
because the underlying strategy of the change is deeply flawed. Change for
change’s sake, is a recipe for disaster.
(Part II) Merry
Christmas Deer Ed, and to all members of the CT Big Pine Key Dead Fish
Dragging and Debating Society. To those who are not Christians, or who deny
any religious belief other than in themselves, I hope that you and yours
enjoy a serene holiday. I hope that you and yours will enjoy this holiday in
the traditions of tolerance and freedom of our great nation. |
 |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our
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Menu |
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Thursday
December 24, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Wednesday
December 23, 2009 |
|
(Ed: There will
be no Coconut Telegraph published Christmas Day in
order that our staff may enjoy the wonderful day with our
families. Merry Christmas to all of you.) |
|
|
If
you enjoy the holiday decorations on the power poles from
Summerland to Big Pine, please help our Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary
continue this tradition for years to come. Our club has been putting
these lights up for over 10 years and we need your help as we have
maintenance and electricity costs each year and this year we had to buy
new some new lights. Please make a donation at your local bank.
Donations may be made at First State Bank in Big Pine to Shana,
Centennial Bank in Big Pine to Sheila or TIB Bank in Big Pine to Pavlina.
Thanks so much for your support. If you can't make it to these
locations during business hours and would like to make a donation,
please feel free to contact Tammy 395-3700.
We are wishing you and yours a healthy and happy holiday
season. |
|
Isn’t it a
felony in Florida to act as a contractor without a license? |
|
You
think global warming and sea level rise is a bitch now? Try
living in Clovis times 12,500 years ago when the sea level was 400 feet
lower and in only a few thousand years rose to the present level.
There’s good text about this in "Florida's First People" (ch.1) and
,"Roadside Geology of Florida", (chapter entitled "The Pliestocene
Republic"). At 400 feet in elevation, big Pine had a very nice a view of
the ocean about 10 miles south of Long Beach. |
|
The way out Right Guy told me I was wrong about my
Obama facts. Sorry, but they were spot on. I did notice that his
slandering of O. was a bit expected and that his anti-American President
insults are indeed in step with the hippies of the 60s. Since he
mentioned I must be smoking ganja because I support our President and
will proudly continue to do so, I must point out he may be enjoying a
good supply of unhappy-pills himself and getting them from his
government socialized Medicare. I also notice that in his postings
besides throwing in a bunch of cherry picked stats his posts are for the
most part very hollow. Entertaining, but hollow none the less. How many
years did he travel with the Deadheads in the 60s? Roll another my
friend and enjoy the season. |
|

Follow the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office on Facebook. Search for
“MCSO – Florida Keys”. You can also follow them on Twitter at “mcsonews”. |
|
With all the
DSL chatter I thought I would throw my story in. I've had it for
a few years and I'm happy with it except for one thing. I had a very old
modem with only one port on it. Whenever I have company with a laptop
(which is quite often) they have to unplug my computer to use theirs. I
called BellSouth to get an upgraded modem and they said it would cost me
$50. After spending a little time with them on the phone they sent me a
new modem with four ports and a wireless for free. They earned their
keep. |
|
The
first meeting of 2009 for the Lower Keys Artists Network will be
held Monday, January 4th, 7 PM, at The Artists in Paradise Gallery,
Winn-Dixie Shopping Center, Big Pine Key. "Recycle, Redesign and
Reinvent your art with Collage" Big Pine Key artist Connie Hauk will
demonstrate the use of basic design and color principles to transform
discards into divas! She will use existing art work and found papers to
make into new compositions and ATC's (Artists's Trading Cards). Bring
some of your own magic markers and try your hand at making your own
design for your ATC.
Hauk is an
exhibiting artist at Big Pine's Artists in Paradise Gallery and the Key
West Art Center and is a signature member of the Florida Watercolor
Society. She has lived in the Keys since 1985 and has taught adult
watercolor classes for the past 35 years. She is currently the art
instructor at the Big Pine Elementary Academy. She will be offering a
series of watercolor classes in Big Pine Key on Tuesdays starting
January 19th--intermediate classes from 9-11 and beginners from 1-3pm.
Contact number for information on classes: 395-0346. Come to the
gallery on January 4th for her inspiring demo. The public is invited to
attend and the meeting begins at 7 p.m. Refreshments will be served and
please bring a chair along with some magic markers For further
information call Dale at 872-9404 or the gallery at 872-1828. |
|
I
agree the Vandenberg was a great investment. I look forward to diving
the Vandenberg someday!
The Oriskany was sunk off Pensacola and was a project similar to
the Vandenberg and was $10 million over budget. Economic impact of the
Oriskany
http://uwf.edu/haas/pdfs/impactStudies/Oriskany_Final_Revised_1_16_08.pdf |
|
Is someone actually quoting from Wikipedia, the
do-it-yourself encyclopedia? On the Taliban? Stop smoking dope! |
|

I always tip my garbage man at Christmas. He does the work of 2
people, does it very well, is polite and always waits if I 'm still
bringing out the cans, and our street doesn't look more trashed after he
leaves (unlike the recycling guys). |
|
Sarah Palin said
terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay. He (Barack
Obama) wants to meet with them without preconditions.
Maybe I’m just a knuckle
dragging
Neanderthal (God, I hope so), but Palin
sounds pretty smart to me. |
|

Coral reefs all dead by 2050.
http://www.vimeo.com/7962248 |
|
Knock yourself out killing iguanas, but please
dispose of the carcasses in some other way then throwing them in the
canal. |
|

Compliments to the happy indoor-cat owner. Too bad all the
outdoor-cat owners around here have yet to see the light and do things
your way. |
|
How come only Republican scientists deny climate
change is encouraged by CO2 emissions? Did they go to different
schools? |
|

[Stupid Memorial to Homeless] I have to agree that it's a sad
state of affairs when they can find the money to erect a memorial
instead of finding the money to build shelters. |
Iguanas and snowbirds
have a lot in common.
1) Both are invasive creatures to the Keys
2) Neither of them will leave a tip at a restaurant
3) Both species think they own the roads
4) They breed like crazy
5) They both will sit in the sun for hours
6) They poop everywhere (just kidding on that one). |
|
 |
|
[Afraid of Shadow] I notice today that we are getting lots of low
life, young, strange people in Big Pine Key. Today I was at Winn Dixie
and I saw a young man that looked like a gangster. At the check out his
wife, small kids and friend were covered with tattoos as they
presented their food stamp card. They did not have enough money on the
card to pay for their groceries. They had to return some items. They
kept two pizzas, but the eggs and chicken nuggets, etc were all
returned. It was scary if you were there. Not good for Big Pine. I
lived here for 20 years and it was never like this. What's happening
with our town? I was holding my wallet so tight. I never did that
before. This is what our taxes are going; to lazy bums to fill their
stomachs and to give them strength to break into our cars, homes, etc.
Let’s look out for each other. Let’s try to keep Big Pine as Big Pine.
If you see anything that is out of the norm call 911. |
|
I’m
looking for any and all information related to the Big Pine 29
drug bust in November of 1980 on Long Beach Road. Does anyone remember
the major players? |
|
“Wrong Number” From Carol Burnett
http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=976 |
|

[Style] Gordon Brown vs Barak Obama.
Video |
|
[Obama
Popular Around World] Democrats couldn't care less if people in
Indiana hate them, but if Europeans curl their lips, liberals can't look
at themselves in the mirror. |
|
 |
|
The
IKC
guy is not worried about our environment. He's using that excuse to
kill. He's also the guy that bragged about killing men, women and
children in Vietnam. I bet he
also killed family pets when he was a kid.
To the poster who commented that he thinks teaching children to kill
iguanas is a great way to teach them about the environment. Have you
taught them to recycle plastic products and paper? Have you taught them
to recognize all of our endangered plants and animals in the Keys? Do
they save electricity and water in your home? Do they shop and take
their lunches to school using recyclable bags? Or do you just teach
them to kill? |
12
steps of Sex and Golfers Anonymous
1. He admitted that he was powerless over white kittens - that his life
had become unmanageable since he lost all his sponsors.
2. He now knows that his wife will beat him with a 4 iron to return him
to sanity.
3. He made a decision to turn all of his money over to the care of all
his mistresses.
4. He made a thorough inventory for his wife's attorneys.
5. He admitted to the tabloids the exact nature of his fantastic sexual
relationships.
6. He was entirely ready to have his wife remove all his possessions.
7. He humbly asked her to leave him his golf clubs.
8. He made a list of all persons he had screwed, and willingly mailed
them a check.
9. He made direct payments to such hookers wherever possible, except
when to do so would cause other hookers to come forward.
10. He continued to take inventory of his material possessions and was
completely ready to have his wife remove them without doing further harm
to his remaining finances.
11. He sought through his e-mail and cell phone to improve his conscious
contact with his mistresses praying only that his wife's attorneys do
not find out.
12. He had a sexual awakening as the result of these affairs and he
tried to advise all other males not to practice these principles in all
their extra marital affairs. |
|
MYCP mentor
program participants from Coral Shores High
School and Treasure Village Montessori. Today, more than 30 million
people around the world have been displaced due to war and violence. Of
that number, nearly 10 million refugees are children. Last week the
mentor program offered through Monroe Youth Challenge Program made it
possible for 31 youth to attend the “Torn from Home: My Life as a
Refugee” Exhibit in Miami.
The students
were mentors from Cheryl Cooke's Leadership Class at Coral Shores and
mentees from the middle school at Treasure Village Montessori escorted
by Julie Clark.
At the exhibit
they went through a hands-on journey into the lives of children who are
forced to flee their homes and seek safety in a new land. They explored
what it means to be a refugee to better understand their hardships and
hope for a brighter future.
Isis Majeska,
a 7th-grade student at TVM, said, “The feeling I had when we left the
exhibit was grateful because I saw some of the things we take for
granted are the things the refugees want so badly.”
The purpose of
the trip was to give the mentor-mentee pairs more time to get to know
each other better as well as have discussion around the poignant issues
of the humanitarian needs of refugees.
    |
|
[Sneaky
Bastards] More than 80 percent of Americans agree that Congress
drafts lengthy, complex bills to hide spending on special interests and
to prevent constituents from understanding what's in them before a vote
is taken, according to a new survey. |
|

Merry Christmas from the Abyss! Pennekamp
Dive Sites |
|
Some of you think the passage of the health care
reform bill will be a good thing for the Nation? Just wait until the
health insurance companies start canceling Medicare Advantage Plans for
the millions of seniors who have them. Yes, I'm aware that there is a
provision in the Senate version of the bill which "grandfathers" those
with Medicare Advantage Plans in the Sunshine State. However, seniors in
the other forty-nine states will not be so lucky. Seniors, this will be
your reward for working hard, playing by the rules, and paying into the
system all your lives. President Barack Hussein Obama scares me.
Hopefully he will only have four years in office. I will not vote to
re-elect him. I also won't vote to re-elect any Congressman or Senator
who voted for passage of this convoluted two thousand page health care
reform bill. |
|
[Lie
of the Year] Congratulations are due Sarah Palin. McClatchy the
non-partisan Pulitzer Prize winning fact checking organization named
Sarah Palin’s lie that the President’s healthcare plans would have death
panels the lie of the year. Congrats Sarah you’re the number one liar
this year. I can see why the way out Right Guy loves you to pieces .You
can put lipstick on it and dress it up, but you end up with a pretty
liar. |
|
[Government For Sale] Democrat Senators (Nelson, Baucus, Conrad,
Landrieux, et al.) had "serious reservations" about the healthcare bill
have now all voted in favor of cloture. It turns out they’re nothing
more than ordinary whores after all. Now that their states' treasuries
are going to benefit greatly from additional taxpayer dollars, their
reservations seem to have vanished into thin air. I'm disgusted by the
whole thing. |
|
"There
was no such thing as a Taliban until the Afghanistan’s civil war
in the wake of Soviet troops’ withdrawal in 1989, after a decade-long
occupation. But by the time their last troops withdrew in February 1989,
they’d left a nation in social and economic shards, 1.5 million dead,
millions of refugees and orphans in Iran and Pakistan, and gaping
political vacuum that warlords attempted to fill. Afghan mujahedeen
warlords replaced their war with the Soviets with a civil war."
"In 1994, a group of provincial vigilantes led by Mullah Mohammed Omar,
the administrator of a religious school, rose up against these forces.
He and his followers called themselves "the students" -- the taliban in
the Pashto language."
"Taliban (Pashto, ‘seekers’) An Islamic fundamentalist political and
military grouping that controlled most of Afghanistan from 1996 until
late 2001. The Taliban militia was formed by Islamic theological
students in the south of the country in 1994 with the intention of
unifying Afghanistan."
I could go on and on.
The bottom line is they didn't exist in 1985!
http://middleeast.about.com/od/afghanistan/ss/me080914a_2.htm |
|
[Also Apple has a One-to-One program whereby a person can set up
an appointment with an Apple expert in person] I've gone to the Apple
store with my iPhone and everyone I ask for help starts the conversation
with "do you have an appointment?" I guess that would have been fine
for tech help, but all I wanted was a case. |
|

Orion's Belt points the way down to rising
Sirius. Betelgeuse, Sirius, and Procyon form the nearly equilateral
Winter Triangle. |
|
[Going Rogue by Sarah Palin] Definition of
the word rogue from Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1561
1 : vagrant, tramp
2 : a dishonest or worthless person : scoundrel
3 : a mischievous person : scamp
4 : a horse inclined to shirk or misbehave
5 : an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological
variation
Need I say more? |
|

When we were kids it wasn't called ADHD, it was called "Tommy
needs and ass whoopin!" |
|
Ahmadinejad on nuke deadline,
“We Don't Care.”
Iran's president on Tuesday dismissed a year-end deadline
set by the Obama administration and the West for Tehran to accept a
U.N.-drafted deal to swap enriched uranium for nuclear fuel, and claimed
his government is now "10 times stronger" than a year ago. |
|

Don't you find it very interesting that after Monday (M) and Tuesday
(T), the rest of week says WTF? |
|
Why can't the traffic light on Big Pine flash during late night
and early morning hours? It really sucks to have to sit there waiting to
make a left turn to go to work in Marathon, when there is not another
vehicle in sight on US 1. |
|

Very cool remote controlled jet plane! RC SR-71 Jet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDbQ5xvsrIU&feature=related |
|
[Healthcare] I guess what they don't understand is
that we don't need their bull shit. I'm not going to be forced by any
government to pay health insurance for my family. It's time I look out
for myself and do what all the other government officials do.
|

WTF2? |
|
[To butcher a beautiful Christmas song add one pop star and a
microphone.] Right on! Also the national anthem, any hymn, and nearly
every song that's been previously covered that the star feels the need
to 'cover'. |
|

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claus-traphobic! |
|
[From the
Right] I sincerely appreciate the readers concern caused by the
absence of my posting Monday. I’m happy to report that I am alive and
well, hunkered down in the Right side bunker preparing for the long
battle ahead. It pains me to admit error, but I do admit error. In a
liberal moment, the old CT address was put on my posting the other day,
it got blocked by the Deer Ed’s filters. Sorry about that error. None
the less, I offer congratulations to all the celebrants who are in
ecstasy at the latest Senate vote on Obamacare. Please enjoy the warm
tingling feeling down your left legs. You guys seem to have won some big
stuff for all us Americans. Let’s take a look at some of that big stuff:
1.] Soon, thanks to Obamacare we will have an additional 31 or so
million folks clamoring for “free” health care. Those new patients will
be competing for the attention of fewer and fewer Doctors. Yep, patient
care will have to suffer. Doc’s will be getting paid less for each
patient (20-25% less), so they’ll have to see more patients just to stay
even. That’s big! 2.] Medicare and Medicaid benefits will have to be
slashed if the “diminished deficit” claims are to be met. The Senate
says that they will cut Medicare by a half of a trillion dollars. Yep,
old farts will get much worse treatment. No doubt about it, they will
suffer because of the cuts. It’s just a pity about those old farts. If
Congress does not cut Medicare/Medicaid, then the national debt must
soar by an additional half a trillion dollars. Congress has never,
repeat never, cut Medicare/Medicaid, nor will they now. So much for
“bending the cost curve”. Well, this bill will bend it. It will bend it
up, straight up! Ooops, I almost forgot that in order to meet the
Senate’s fiscal promises, they will also have to remove two hundred and
fifty billion in doctors’ payments from the bill and hide it in new
legislation yet to pass or even be proposed. If they don’t, the cost of
Obamacare and national debt will increase by at least another one
quarter of a trillion dollars. Let’s gut check the math, half a trillion
plus a quarter of a trillion equals three quarters of a trillion dollars
worth of hit on the deficit over and above what it is now. Look out
moon, here comes our national debt. That’s pretty freaking big. 4.] Yes,
it looks like that soon we’ll be the happy payers of new taxes that
start when the bill is signed, but we’ll just have to wait 4 years until
the benefits start. Another freaking Big deal! 5.] Congrats to Nebraska;
their Senator, Ben Nelson, took a dive on his anti abortion principles
in exchange for a deal that exempts Nebraska from paying it’s state
share of Medicaid, forever. Bless you Senator Nelson for your morality
and principles. Hey, it’s just a bad break that we Floridians will have
to chip in to pay it. Whoa, come to think of it, at least Louisiana,
Connecticut and Iowa also got really sweet and very similar deals. What
the hell, we Floridians have got plenty of money; it’s only fair that we
carry the load of other states. After all, we Floridians are all
wealthy. So, there are still about 3-4 pages more of wonderfulness, but
that’s almost enough for today. Our liberal pals have a notoriously
short attention span so we shouldn't over burden them. You have to
admire the Democrat Senators lack of respect for their constituents.
Why? Because at last check, those who strongly favored socializing our
health care system were outnumbered by nearly 2-1 by those of us who
strongly opposed it. The next set of elections should be very
interesting. You can tell the American public is just thrilled, tickled
pink. On 12/21 Rasmussen reported that Mr. Obama’s approval index has
soared to -21, yep that minus twenty one. His next lowest was minus 19.
Minus 21 is a new record. Way to go O, that’s change that I can believe
in. |
|
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|
Wednesday
December 23, 2009 |
|
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|
Tuesday December
22, 2009 |
|
[Cats
are smart, too] I own four cats, all indoor, and they are well
behaved. I am able to get them to stop in their tracks using one hand
signal; what one would see a policeman use when directing traffic to
stop. They all know what it means, and if they try to jump on a
counter, eat another's food, or jump into someone's lap, holding up my
hand results in them either sitting down or walking away. They also
know when I want to hold them as I "invite" them to jump up by tapping
my chest. Two of the cats will fetch and none scratch on furniture. As
with other animals, it takes a little patience to train them, but once
it's done, they can be as great a pet as any dog. Plus, they are soft
and furry, sleep most of the time, and use a litter box. |
|
The only upside to this cold weather is that there
are no no-see-ums. We really have nothing to complain about it's just
going to last a couple of days. |
|

One of the most beloved Christmas songs of all times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5GnNSb8TJI |
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[Local Wins
Lottery] Does anyone know the person who won
the $3,000,000 lottery in Marathon? Perhaps they'd loan us the money for
a sewer system!
Lucky number: 6-8-11-16-17-48 X 3 |
|

[Where’s From the Right?] Oh no! Please tell me the From the
Right guy is okay. He was conspicuous by his absence yesterday. I hope
his type-A-uptight ass didn't have the big one. |
|
[Local contractor with 27
years experience] You are so far off. One of the reasons that most
people have a dim view of local contractors is because they over charge,
don't show when they say they will, and don't do the quality of work
they should. This is not a Keys problem, it is all across America. Just
because you have done the right thing by getting a license, pay for
insurance and taxes etc. does not automatically mean you are a reputable
contractor. A lot of the contractors that have been here for a long time
have taken advantage of "absentee" owners and been over charging for
years and getting away with it. Yes, the overhead is more and it cost a
lot to run a reputable business, but having the additional overhead due
to the licensing, insurance and taxes does not justify overcharging.
As far as permits go, I know several "licensed
contractors" that give the homeowner the choice of doing the job with or
without a permit. That's no different than an unlicensed person doing
the work, you are cutting the same corners. Ask around and see how many
people working for these contractors are legal, are provided health
insurance or make a decent wage. Ask how many are “paid under the table”
as you say. A lot of the contractors are pocketing a lot of money and
passing minimum benefits to their employees.
Please don't insult me by saying I don't know what I
am talking about because I am not in business in the Keys. I had my own
successful business for many years and I saw everything you have said
about unlicensed/licensed contractors. Like you, I was licensed, insured
and tried to do the right things and I still made money without gouging
my customers. Maybe the contractors would be better served with a little
customer service training and a little less greed. I could go on and on
but I think you will get my point.
This is not directed at the writer as I do not know
you or your reputation. Hopefully you are one of the good guys
and are just venting, but as I said before, just because you are a
licensed contractor does not mean you don't do unscrupulous things. |
|

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a
state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas. ~Calvin Coolidge |
|
[Stupid Memorial] Homeless in America for 20 years. National
Homeless Person's Memorial in Washington, D.C. We have erected instead
of corrected, how sad.
20th Annual National Homeless Person’s Memorial –
Washington DC: Commemorating the Lives of Those Who have Died While
Homeles. |
|
Hi!
This is Lynn from Newman Outfitters. Dan and I want to send out
wishes to everyone for a very Merry Christmas and all the best in 2010.
We also want to thank all who visited our shop this year. We truly
appreciate your business and do our best to give the best service
possible. It wouldn't be possible for us to be here without you. Dan
has decided to keep the shop open this Wednesday from 9 to 6 and
Thursday, Christmas Eve, from 9-2 for any last minute shopping for all
you shooting sports enthusiasts out there. Don't forget we are giving
10% off our already low prices on any long gun in stock. Dan just got in
a supply of great air rifles and all the cool stuff to go with it.
We have held the line on price for the past 2 years on our handgun
safety training classes for as long as we could. After the first of the
year, we have to increase it to $75 due to increases in the training
materials and shipping costs. If you have been considering taking my
class, you can lock in 2009 prices by stopping in. Dan will be happy to
write you a gift certificate which will be good all year (a great
stocking stuffer)
A
big thank you to all our
customers for your support and Merry Christmas! |
|
[Empire] Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded
empires. But on what did we rest the creations of our genius? Upon
force. Jesus Christ founded his empire on love and at this hour millions
of men would die for him. ~Napoleon Bonaparte |
|
Lost
glasses. While shopping on Big Pine Key, Flea
Market/CVS/Dollar Store last Saturday (12/19), I lost my prescription
eyeglasses. They are Rose colored frames marked Cazal, with slightly
blue-tinted lenses. If found, please call Pat at 872-3270.Thanks. Merry
Christmas!
Classified Ads > Lost & Found |
|
[Sarah Mania] Sarah Palin's Greatest Hits. Oh,
yeah, she’s real qualified to be president.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrzXLYA_e6E&NR=1 |
|
[Vermont's
Independent US Senator] Ed, you put up the wrong Vermont Senator’s
Picture. That’s Senator Leahy. The Guy this post is talking about is
Senator Bernie Sanders who, by the way, is a Jewish kid from Brookyln,
NY. He went to the University of Chicago and moved to VT after college
and worked as a carpenter. He was elected Mayor of Burlington VT 4
times. The last time against a candidate backed by the Democratic and
Republican parties. He served 16 years in the House before being elected
to the Senate. |
|
[Don’t believe government] One side says healthcare will save
money the other side says it’ll cost money. Everyone skews their numbers
to enrich their position. If only there were someplace we could go for
the truth. |
|

I did do the research on the history of the Taliban. In fact go
to Wikipedia and type in Taliban history and it will give you the
history which verifies my postings. The Taliban did exist in ‘85. They
were a part of the Mujahedeen the same way the tribal leaders we use now
to fight Al Qaeda are used by the Iraqi government. There’s actually a
timeline for the Taliban which coincides with the Mujahedeen. It’s right
there. |
|
[On the verge of making the health care more accessible] It’s
going to be pretty hard to access it when the system is bankrupt and
doctors and hospitals are no longer in business. |
|
[Bailout]
Only two car companies received bailouts and Chrysler will never be able
to repay the loans they received and might not be an auto maker much
longer. Only GM has repaid some of the loans, and despite your rosy
forecast some of our money will never be recovered from GM. At the
current stock price we would have to sell 300% of our stock to recover
all our funds.
Obama is the
worst President the country has ever seen, a more incompetent leader we
have never had. This country is in more trouble now than ever. They
say people get the leadership they deserve and I guess this goes to show
how accurate that statement is. With the morons that think Obama is
doing a good job proof of how stupid the people in this country are.
Three more years of Obama and we will be bankrupt, 50% unemployment and
the great depression will look like a week’s vacation. |
|
I saw it in the paper, the Democrats saved Key West
and made it what it is today. |
|

[Babysitters] Woof! Meow.
Slide Show |
|
The sad fact is, what God told Abraham in Genesis
about the coming strife between Isaac’s seed (Judaism, Christendom) and
Ishmael’s seed (Islam) leaves Isaac’s seed no wiggle room to complain
about Islam’s treatment of Judaism and Christendom, unless they wish to
complain to God. |
|
Long
Live the IKC! I fondly remember when I got my
50 kill patch, many years ago. I received mine from the founder of the
IKC a kindly, elderly gentleman. He said some kind words and thanked me
for my dedication to eliminating the foreign pests and for protecting
our Keys from invasive species. He went on to tell stories of an iguana
free Keys back in the days before snowbirds invaded our islands every
winter. He said Ted Williams was a member of the IKC many years ago and
was a major force in starting the IKC. He said Ted was the one that
pointed out that if something was not done the Islands would be over run
by these pests. Ted said the islands had no naturals enemies of iguanas
and it was our duty to kill everyone one of these nasty creatures (Ted
used more colorful language). The old timer said Ted would shoot iguanas
from his porch between fishing trips during his winter visits before
baseball season started. He said back then there were not as many and
it would take a lot longer to get your 50 kill patch. He said he
thought of eliminating the 50 kill patch award because a good hunter
could kill 50 today in a long weekend. He decided it was better not to
eliminate the patch, he thought it would be a good incentive to new
members. He told me that he had over 5,000 kills by then. If he were
alive today he would probably be killing 50 every weekend like he said.
How I would have liked to shoot iguanas with Ted and the
old man. We must persevere and pass on these glorious traditions to the
next generation. Again, congratulations for your 50 patch, I can't make
the rally but let me encourage all to support the IKC with a honk and a
wave and let me also encourage everyone that lives in our island
paradise to kill the iguanas and eat more iguana and save the Keys.
The club will
be coming out with a new Iguana hot sauce specially designed to bring
out the great taste of Iguana. The new weaponry is awesome, lasers and
scoped high powered air rifles are an excellent way to get your child
started in the IKC traditions. The Junior Club is one of the best ways
to teach our children sound environmental principals and help them
appreciate the Keys and return the Keys to the paradise they were before
these invasive pasts scarred our beloved islands.
Iguana, the new white meat! Don’t forget to try IKC hot sauce, soon in
your local stores. All proceeds from IKC Hot Sauce go directly to the
IKC Foundation dedicated to funding scholarships in Environmental
Science studies in iguana eradication. |
|
To simply and
efficiently butcher a beautiful, traditional Christmas song add
one pop star and a microphone. |
|

The Golf Cart Parade ruled. |
|
[NASA Calendar] To celebrate the 10th anniversary of people
continuously living aboard the International Space Station, NASA is
providing a special 2010 calendar to teachers and the public.
The calendar contains unique images and highlights historic space
exploration milestones and educational facts about the international
laboratory. Each month has its own theme and offers a glimpse into
topics such as a typical day in the life of a crew member, the staff
that supports the station, and the massive dimensions of the orbiting
research facility.
The calendar is available for free download at
http://www.nasa.gov/station |
|
[Polls]
I find it very telling that the man from way out right was reminding us
in the early stages of Obama’s Presidency that even though the
President had a very high approval rating and a majority of the
country’s support that the majority isn’t always right. He said at the
time that a President shouldn’t always go along with the majority and
should do what’s right instead of what’s popular. Now all of a sudden
the Presidents ratings have slid and all of a sudden we are being fed
poll numbers and told that Americans are unhappy with the President.
Methinks the way out Right Guy is counting on all of us having very
short memories of his ever changing positions. Or maybe that he has been
all of a sudden "reborn" into the belief that maybe poll numbers do
matter. I’m thinking it’s not the later, but then he changes his
position more times then as he so aptly stated about democrats, a "crack
whore". I’m using his rhetoric not mine. |
|
[Green Religion]
Let’s talk religion. I’m talking about the newest religion, Green
religion. Just like other religions, all the facts, by non-believers are
dismissed as twisted lies. Only what is preached by their preachers can
be believed. And they believe, beyond a doubt. There is no use in
talking facts with them or trying to reason with them - - they believe.
Their biggest preacher is Al Gore. And like other big name evangelists
he is in it for the money and fame. Climate change is a given, has been
for thousands of years, but being caused by humans, just doesn’t make
sense to me. Sorry I’m not a believer. |
|

To the person who found my Z-card and returned it, I owe you a
drink! |
|
[No Name Key Electricity]
Grosso letter neglects to mention State Law. I read a copy of Mr.
Grosso’s letter to the BOCC -- what a joke it is. Mr. Grosso spends his
entire letter explaining the difference between a county ordinance and a
county resolution. But Mr. Grosso never mentions the controlling State
law, or that the State law is the only thing that matters. Any and
every local ordinance or resolution conflicting with State law is not
valid. The BOCC can tear up (rescind) that local 1951 resolution giving
electricity to NNK. They can use it for toilet paper for all I care
because it doesn’t matter. The BOCC cannot tear up, rescind, or change
the State law which gives electricity to No Name Key. Why did Mr.
Grosso neglect to mention that part in his little letter to the BOCC? Is
he unaware of State law?
Commissioners, stop wasting taxpayer time and money,
we’ve had enough of this! |
|
About
the global
warming post. I don't think anyone actually skewered the data
(pierced with a sharp object), but I'm pretty sure they skewed them
(distorted, depicted unfairly). Yup! I know I'm an obnoxious pain in the
butt, but it's a whole bunch of fun to ding these posters who just won't
lighten up. Merry Christmas! |
|
Did the
Right Wing guy run out of words? He missed Monday! |
|
Just when you thought you
had heard it all.
Judge hears final arguments
in inmate's sex-change |
|

I made a vow to my wife that I would be sober the last 50 years
of my life. Now I just have to figure out a way to live to be 150. |
|
Thank God they are going to pass health care. Now,
all the dead beats and minimum wage earners will have to pay or lose
their driver’s licenses or go to jail. No more free health care.
Everyone pays! |
|

[Mac World is over except for motion graphics] Wrongo, wombat
breath! Windows has always been just a poor copy of the Mac operating
system. I mean, how much faith can you have in a machine in which you
have to go to the “Start” to shut it off? |
|
[Paintball splotched iguanas] I think that shooting paintballs at
snowbirds could become a sport down here. Even the mentally challenged
IKC guy could hit one of those super-sized New Jersey women. The only
problem is, unlike the iguana, the Jersey women will fight back.
|
|
To
the guy on Long beach Rd. that has lost 200 ft. of beach. I
believe that is called costal erosion and not caused by the ocean
rising. I have seen no true science that backs up the oceans rising. Man
should try to be good stewards of the planet and do their best to
protect it, but politicians skewing science for their benefit is wrong.
I saw the news report about the volcano that is erupting 4,000 ft deep
in the ocean. They said the amount of CO2 put out in one day is more
than mankind emits in ten years. |
|
Someone wrote into the KW Citizen's Voice today "Joggers, walkers
and others: Beware. The 29800 block of Newfound Harbor Rd. on BPK
has aggressive pitbulls on the loose. One of them chased and attempted
to bite me." |
|

2010 Hooters calendar. Look in private!
.pdf |
|
[Let's take
a survey] Lately I've seen several posts about our President's
approval rating. I would like to see how our C.T. contributors stack up
compared to the rest of the nation. Regardless of the content of your
next subject, please participate by simply writing 'approve' or
'disapprove' at the end of your post. No explanation, just one word. I
want to keep it fun. Even if you're writing about the pretty flowers in
your back yard, join in by taking a moment to type one word. I'll count
the total number of posts, calculate the percentages, and post the
results the following day. If you don't participate, I'll list you in
the category of 'no opinion', which means you still participated.
(Ed: Forget it.) |
|
Do
you wish you could find quality customer service? Is it just a
pipe dream to want to be able to walk into a shop and have someone greet
you with a warm, “Hello Julia.” My dream has become a reality. When I
walk into Now Showing Video on Big Pine Key, the soft spoken, kind
hearted young gentleman, Jose, greets me warmly by name with a welcoming
smile every time I enter the shop. Whenever I need help choosing a good
movie, Jose patiently helps me make the right choice for myself. Jose
is always courteous, kind, well mannered and eager to lend a hand to all
the customers. This is such a wonderful breath of fresh air. I always
leave with a lighter step and a feeling as if I was given a gift, and I
was the gift of a personal touch in this so impersonal world of ours.
Some will say “Well that’s what quality customer service is all about.”
For me it’s also a feeling of just having visited a friend. I’d like to
say, Thank you Jose. |
|
[IKC]
Does anyone know how to get in contact with the mercenary iguana killer?
We have an active home owners association where I live and at the last
meeting there was a lot of serious discussion about the invasive iguanas
in our community. The iguanas are breeding faster than we can execute
them. There was a rough count done by the owners/renters over the last
month and it was just over 300. They range from about 4 feet to new
born. Not only are they defecating all over the place but they have
eaten almost every flowering plant in the neighborhood. We consider this
to be a serious environmental issue as all the feces are flowing into
the canals during the heavy rains. At the association meeting it was
decided by majority vote 121/34 to hire someone to eradicate the iguanas
and we set aside a good portion of our remaining 2009 budget to fund
this endeavor. We also would like to find out when the IKC is going to
have their next rally at the traffic light on Big Pine Key. Any
additional information you could provide to our association about this
gentleman or the Iguana Killers Club (IKC) would be appreciated.
|
|
 |
|
The only downside with Mac computers are that some
attachments that people send via email cannot be opened. I have had
Windows based laptops for years and recently obtained a Mac and I have
found that the ease with which I can maneuver between programs and use
various applications is absolutely worth the higher price tag.
Also Apple has a One-to-One program whereby a person can
set up an appointment with an Apple expert in person and pick their
brains. There are even workshops that you can attend for a minimal
amount of money for the program.
Macs will soon be ubiquitous. |
|

Watch out when coconuts fall off the palm trees. They could kill
a little dog if they hit her/him square on the head or “brain” a human
or break a windshield of a car. |
|
Think of the secrecy that used to surround the Russian space program.
Now we can watch their launches on TV and know there's also an American
on board!
http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/imagegallery/image_feature_1547.html |
|
Somebody
call 911 and get them over to the From the
Right guy's house! He didn't post on Monday. Something serious must have
happened to him. Strange that Sloan returns the one day the FTR guy
takes off. I guess the CT can only support a certain amount of wackiness
per day. |
|
[From the
Right] Global climate change is as real as a sunrise. But come to
think of it, sunrise occurs at a different time each day on a repeating
cycle. Come to think about it a little further, the climate changes a
little each day. Come to think of it yet further, about 10 thousand
years ago, the gulf coast was about 100 miles west of where it is today,
and the Florida Keys were more like a ridge than just low islands.
Yessir, the seas are rising, but then they’ve been rising for at least
the last 10 thousand years. If that isn’t true, then I’m just a goofy
liberal. You just got to wonder just how fast the seas are rising. NOAA
says that the sea level around Florida has been arising about 0.73 foot
since about 1913 till now. I suppose that’s as far back as they have
decent records. It’s important to note that NOAA says that’s pretty much
a straight line increase, no hockey stick graph there. So, if we take
that trend back 10,000 years the sea level would be expected to have
been about 73’ lower than it is today. Well, son of a gun, that’s just
amazing! That’s just about where the water levels were 10,000
years ago. The New York Times reported on the archeological find
of a 10,000 year old village site in N. Florida that was nearly 100
miles from the coast then, compared to its present distance of five
miles from the Gulf of Mexico. I guess it was the campfires from that
ancient village that caused the global warming 10 millennia ago. Or
maybe it was aboriginal SUV’s. You know there just might be a message
here. Yesterday’s poster was right on in his observation of the water
line on our 100 year old bridge bases.
You can check
out the water level on bridge bases in the years between 1905-1935 in
the photos at:
http://overseasrailroad.railfan.net/constr.htm. Take a look at the
bridge bases for yourself. To these old eyes they sure look a hell of a
lot like they do today. The waterline sure looks just like it does
today, about a 100 years later. But then again, maybe Mr. Bush snuck in
and raised the bridges. He’s the denier-in-chief you know.
(Part II) In 2009 it was reported that GM had posted a
managerial net loss of $1.2 billion. Then there is the issue of our
“equity share”. On December 20th, 2009 “The
Street.com”
reported: “GM YTD -76.56%, that means down 76.56%. As of December GM
(now
MTLQQ.PK)
was down to .05360, that’s down 2.72%. Further, as of Saturday, 12/19,
GM has no plans to sell any GM (taxpayer) stock until next year (AP
report). That sure as hell doesn’t sound like good deal to this Right
Winger. As to Afghanistan: This Right
Winger believes that Mr. Obama did the right thing in authorizing a
surge, he just took too damned long to do it. But he did exactly the
wrong thing in telling our enemy when we
would begin to leave the fray. The enemy could not have been given any
more valuable intelligence. With Presidential pronouncements, the enemy
needs no spies. He is doing exactly the right thing in the Predator
surge, but he is doing exactly the wrong thing with his new warm and
fuzzy rules of engagement. The new rules will cause the deaths of
American soldiers. The Obama supporter is dead wrong about the reason
for our Afghanistan incursion. We went there not to spruce up their
government, but to seek out and kill those who attacked us. The
secondary mission is to do whatever it takes to make sure that those who
attacked us do not have safe haven in Afghanistan. If that means making
a new, honest, and Democrat government, then that’s just dandy. As to
Mr. Obama being modest: The poster must have found a first rate supply
of ganja, or he's overdosing on giddy pills. The only President we have
had that even approaches the level of self love, hubris, and
bragadociousness, was Mr. Clinton. The proof is to be found in the
number of time he uses the word “I” in any of his speeches, and observe
the absurd condescending attitude that he displays. If you doubt that
then consider his insistence in rushing pell-mell into passage of a bill
that flogs health insurance and does nothing to actually bring down the
cost of delivery of health care. Mr.. Obama most certainly does not have
“broad shoulders”, he is combative and confrontational to his critics.
Mr. Obama has the sloping shoulders of a self righteous leftist
ideologue; he is anxious and eager to blame others for his
misadventures. Indeed, it is Mr. Obama and his crew of “organized ones”
who have perfectly played the role of 1960’s hippie protestors. The
Obama praising poster was wrong about the facts. Only he knows if he was
misinformed, careless, or lying. His assessment of Mr. Obama is deeply
flawed. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am Include Coconut
Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Tuesday December
22, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Monday December
21, 2009 |

[Winter Today] Today is the winter Solstice.
On this shortest day of
the year, there will be less daylight than at any other time.
However, on Tuesday, the days will start getting longer. Winter
begins today when the earth tilts 23.5 degrees as it rotates around
the Sun. |
|
[My real estate value has been cut in half
thank to Code Enforcement for not doing their job] Did you call Code
Enforcement? I hate to have to explain this to you but they do not
have ESP! Tip them off and help them do their job and help your
neighborhood in the process! |
|
Marathon Boat Parade in
Boot Key Harbor.
  |
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[Insults] Poor quarter truth man. The
President is on the verge of making the health care system more
accessible and available for average Americans and all he can do is
compare the people voting for it as crack whores. Some folks just
don’t have dignity to allow others to their own opinions without
trying to disgrace them. |
|

The good old cars weren't that good!
http://www.iihs.org/video.aspx/info/50thcrash |
|
[God damn Comcast] My internet has been down
since midnight. I called at 2.07am to complain. They said it was
down for maintenance to give us better service in the future. Screw
the future. I can’t sleep and need the internet now! |
|
[Iguana
Killers Club (IKC)] Was the poster who bragged about all the
Iguanas he killed kidding? Was that a sick joke? Did he think that
he was being funny by mentioning the people he killed during the
war? If the posting was a joke, it was a sick joke. If the poster
wasn't kidding, he is a very sick individual who needs help. In
either case he’s sick. I hope he doesn't live anywhere near my
family. |
|
[You Can't Go Back] Remember the Tea Party
activist that yelled "I want my country back"? Right-wingers don't
seem to realize that our country is changing and will never be the
same. Our President is the perfect president for this time in
history. America cannot continue to operate and govern in the same
manner as it has in the past. Change is part of life. The world
continues to change. By 2050, experts say that the Caucasian Race
in America will be the minority and that the population will
increase from today's 300 million to 450 million. Our planet will
look different, our wildlife will change and our needs as a society
will conform. The simple fact that the Internet Age and Technology
Age are here to stay require that we have a President who
understands this and embraces it.
Did you know that President Obama is the first
President who has had a computer on his desk in the oval office?
How sad that our last President and the last Republican candidate
couldn't even operate a computer! The last thing our country needs
is someone who can't keep up with changes and wants to hold on to
the past. There are those who say that President Obama should not
continue to blame President Bush for handing him the mess that we
are in. They say that after a year, President Obama is responsible
for everything. That is Republican nonsense. You cannot fix
disasters of those magnitudes in one year, many years or maybe even
ever! He did inherit this mess.
Those who desire to go back to the "My Three Sons" or
"Leave it to Beaver" days where families were white, housewives
didn't go to work outside the home, the children were all smart and
well-behaved, the moms wore aprons and pearls when they cooked and
everyone attended Protestant churches on Sunday and lived in
suburban homes with backyards. Good luck. Change is absolute and
necessary. President Obama is smarter than the right-wingers know.
He understands this. Part of being intelligent is being able to
adapt to change. Charles Darwin said, "It is not the strongest of
the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most
responsive to change". H.G. Wells stated, "Adapt or perish".
|
|
[Local
Contractors] The major reason the home owners have a dim view of
local contractors is they don’t hire licensed contractors. Their
buddy has a handyman or they find a number off Craig’s List or
something of that nature. I am a local contractor with 27 years
experience. I have to charge a certain price for each task to
survive. That rate includes taxes, incorporation fees, license fees,
Continuing Education, tool costs, gas and wear of my vehicles, labor
costs and Workman's Compensation.
You had a great experience because you hired a
licensed contractor. Kudos to you. Most prefer not to get building
permits, pay under the table and circumvent any law the can to save
money. Those illegal contractors are nothing more than thieves.
Stealing the food from the mouths of my children and my employees’
children.
I have jumped through every hoop the state and county
put before me like a trained show dog. I pay my taxes and get no
support from the very legislation they said would protect me. It was
just another form of government corruption.
In a related matter: I haven’t heard what happened
with the illegal contractor who fell in through the former Mayor of
Key West cistern or if the Mayor was fined. It wasn't on code
enforcement’s web site. |
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The US1 radio auction benefits US1 radio and
its advertisers. |
|

[Debating Sarah Palin] The people down here who think they
could beat her in a national debate are the same ones who think they
could be better than an NFL quarterback, or whip one of the pros in
the UFC matches. Dream on. They made a movie about you, and the
guy's name is Walter Mitty. |
|
[Ocean Rising]
I also have been here over 50 years and I am sure there has been
some changes in the high tide line, I just have not seen them. To
the man on Long Beach Road, you saying that the water has moved in
200 feet closer to your home, I guess you should start building an
ark. If you look at the tide lines on the old bridges I think you
will find there is no difference, I know that’s tough for some of
you, just go look. Be fair and tell me what you see. Those old
bridges that carried the train and have been here 70 or 80 years.
|
|
[Noise
Pollution] I am convinced some environmentalists want us to live
in tents with no candles because they pollute. Now they have come up
with wind turbine syndrome. This is a disease that is caused
by the noise from wind turbines (which is a lot). Symptoms include
nervousness, irritability, inability to concentrate, depression,
erectile disjunction and a whole host of others. There is even a
book out about it. The trial lawyers will have a field day. I
wonder if any of these symptoms show up if a person can hear a
nearby street or freeway. I know one thing, the environmental
elites want you to cut back, but won't practice what they preach. I
wonder if the No Name Key lady's northern home has heating and air
conditioning and a flush toilet. |
|
Last
Friday was the Lower Keys lighted boat parade. I didn’t see
it (I didn’t even know about it), but on her way home, my wife
stopped around the South Pine Channel Bridge and watched with a
bunch of other people. She said it was great and everyone liked it.
Would any of you who took photos please send them to Ed so we can
all see the boats. |
|
[Seasons
Greetings from Hamburg, PA] It doesn't get any better and
prettier. My neighbor had my sidewalk and driveway shoveled by 7 am.
I just love this snow, just love it! |
|
Most of the stuff our tax money is paying for
in our massive military budget is useless in the war against al
Qaeda and the war in Afghanistan. |
|
When
I checked my mailbox around 4 p.m. today, there was an envelope from
the White House. In it was a classy, embossed-in-gold
Christmas card, featuring the Great Seal of the United States on the
front. On the inside, in gold letters was, “May your family have a
joyful holiday season and a new year blessed with hope and
happiness,” purportedly hand-signed by Barack and Michelle Obama. I
started feeling even worse.
Finally I wept. It was all I could do.
Then, I lay down and fell somewhat asleep — the third nap today.
Coming out of it, I realized the incoming Season’s
Greetings card was behind it all. After connecting those dots, I
quickly started feeling better. Then I felt much better. The spirit
signal (ED: Yes, this is from Sloan)
that I was on track.
This may all seem like gobblygook to some people; science fiction to
others. Think more along X-Files. Dark side of the Force. Spiritual
warfare. Think shaman work. A shaman absorbs internally the
spirit disorder being addressed. This is known to all shamans.
Someone has to do it, I am trained for it, and I have the spirit
link with President Obama to do it.
Barack and I became soul-linked when I contributed $2,300 dollars to
his campaign at the instigation of the angels who look over and keep
after me. I wrote about that a few days ago, and of my
frustrating experiences with the Obama camp and my attempts,
unsuccessful, to get the $2,300 refunded. My mailing address is
still in the Obama camp’s computer; that’s how they knew where to
send the seasonal card, which has a silver and black sticker on the
back flap saying, “Paid for by the Democratic National Committee.
This communication is not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s
committee.”
I wonder how much all of those fancy holiday seasonal cards cost to
make and mail out? I wonder how many were sent? I wonder how many
hungry people that money could have fed? I wonder what a President
is doing sending seasonal cards he and the First Lady probably
didn’t really sign, to people he doesn’t even know? Well, President
Obama knows me, or at least his soul does. His soul is screaming for
help, and he doesn’t even know it. |
|
Does anyone else
think this was all show for the U.S.A.?
Iraq says Iranian troops left disputed oil well |
|

Vermont's
Independent US Senator is an avowed
Social-Democrat, not a Socialist. If you don't know the difference
please don't use either term. |
|
[Taliban/Reagan Photo] Saying the Taliban
existed in 1985 doesn't make it so. The Mujahidin were tribal
warriors who banded together to fight the Soviets. After they won
that war, the Mujahidin tribes turned on each other fighting over
who would control Kabul and thus the country. The winner of that
fight became known as the Taliban. Others such as the Northern
Alliance were the antithesis of the Taliban and fought against them
and Al-Qaeda. If you remember history, our first allies in the war
in Afghanistan were Mujahidin like the Northern Alliance. You
couldn't miss it, it was on CNN and NBC too.
Try arguing facts instead of throwing stones. You’re the last one
that should be comparing IQ's with Ronald Reagan. Even better, do a
simple Google search on "Taliban History" and you will see they did
not exist until the mid 90's. Better yet, take to heart a quote by
that famous Republican Abraham Lincoln "It is better to remain quiet
and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt".
Note: No trees were killed in the sending of this
message, but a large number of electrons were terribly
inconvenienced. |
|
[Business
Idea: Fishing lessons] There are already a multitude of fishing
Instructors in the Keys, most of you know them as fishing
guides. Call a guide and let them know that you are primarily
interested in learning how to fish. You should get a good idea
which ones sound like they are willing to spend the extra time
explaining the process as they go about setting up and how they
choose the fishing spots and gear that they do. Most Captains will
rather fish from their own boats. They are set up and equipped just
the way that they like. If, however, you would like for them to
guide you on your own boat most will. Be warned that the rate will
probably only reflect the difference of the cost of fuel, bait and
Ice, from the rate of a normal charter on their boat. |
|
[About tipping people] This one is the best.
My newspaper guy left me a Christmas card. Inside the card was an
envelope with his name and address on it (no stamp). I should have
just mailed back a card. Talk about a not-so-subtle hint! |
|
Animal
training involves hand commands, so is it possible for a pet to
learn sign language? If 18-month-old Millie is any indication, than
yes.
According to the (UK) Daily Mail, Millie, a red fox, was found when
she was six weeks old, being chased down a country road in North
Devon, England by three boys. A family scooped up the traumatized
canine and soon discovered that the malnourished pup was deaf.
Unable to care for her, the family brought Millie to rescue expert
Beth Tyler-King. When the family asked if she could take in the fox
cub, Tyler-King was ecstatic. "Would I?" Tyler-King blogged at Still
on the Track. "I practically hugged her! It has been my life-long
dream to hand-rear a cub ever since I played with three of them at
an animal sanctuary many moons ago."
As exciting as it was for Tyler-King to hand-raise a fox cub, Millie
was even more special due to her deafness. As soon as Tyler-King,
who herself lost 95 percent of her hearing at age 4, found out
Millie was deaf she began signing to the fox, she tells Paw Nation.
Millie surprisingly seemed to understand and even understands facial
expressions Tyler-King tells us.
The commands are simple. Tyler-King puts her palm out facing
downwards and wags her finger if Millie is being naughty. Millie
understands these kinds of commands perfectly and often is found
looking at Tyler-King for direction.
Millie shares Tyler-King's home with 30 hedgehogs, five owls, seven
dogs, 14 cats, five pigeons, a dove, a parrot, and a squirrel. So
far, the fox hasn't shown any aggression to any of the other
animals. "In September last year (four months after Millie arrived)
I was given two kittens to hand rear," Tyler-King blogs on Still on
the Track. "When they were four months old I introduced them to
Millie and they are now all the best of friends, often sleeping
together and playing together. Sometimes when I give Millie a piece
of tripe, one of the kittens will literally take it out of her mouth
and Millie lets her! I am then running after the kitten retrieving
the tripe to give back to poor patient Millie!"
Sounds like it's time to teach those kitties the meaning of the
finger wag. |
|
[Met (opera)] Sorry Deer Ed, obviously I did
not learn my lesson about abbreviations from yesterday.
Met = Metropolitan Museum (of Art). |
|
[A
Mac is the
Lamborghini of computers]
Sorry to say Macs are mostly PCs in drag because everything now have
the same parts as any PC. The operating system and software are also
written by Microsoft, and third party programs will run on Windows 7
with a free downloadable sub-routine. The Mac World is over except
for motion graphics. |
|
[Agree with me or you’re a drunk] This type of
language and thinking is the downfall of most all blogs. Sensible
people do not want to read this degrading slang, they want factual
statements where the writers are sure of their offerings and will
stand behind what is written. It is called civility! |

From the Right guy’s Christmas display. |
|
[Corruption--Jess Shows, former director of
Pigeon Key Foundation stole $30,000 from them] Will he be shipped
off to the same resort as the, Land Trust and School Board people? |
|

The perfect gift (instead of divorce).
Video |
|
[Global Warming: Just because some zealots
were trying to skewer the data, doesn't mean that man isn't
exacerbating that change] Yes it does. The zealots have been
tampering with the data for thirteen years trying to prove that we
are indeed changing the climate. They are now and have been in the
past nothing but bold faced liars who are making money from this
imaginary scare. Every bit of evidence from the decreasing
temperatures, to the increasing polar ice has been ignored and when
someone calls them on it they say that global warming can make it
colder. People, it is all bull!
To a zealot it is justifiable to tell any lie and
berate anyone who disagrees with them. When the climate does
naturally change someday, and it will, I am sure that the effects of
man will have nothing to do with it. if you want to change the
argument to lets reduce our emissions in order to reduce air
pollution that is a good argument, however there is not the
global catastrophe associated with air pollution that there is with
the slow incineration of the earth, therefore there’s no money to be
made. |
|
First
book of Government: Psalm 2009
Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth
me beside the still factories
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my
life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog,
And Obama was a tree. |
|
The
snowbirds come year after year only to cause problems, all the
while thinking they own our community. The Keys are much better off
without the traffic and extra town “Mayors”. |
|
[Street
gangs in Helena, Montana] It’s gangs like these that the people
of Helena have to put up with. They’re a bit different from the
problems in other cities. It proves that every State has their own
unique gang problems. They roam the streets and yards night and
day. They hang out in even the best neighborhoods and you cannot
legally shoot them. |
|
[County’s 1951 resolution is irrelevant] For
some reason, some County Commissioners (with guidance from that one
NNK person) keep focusing on the 1951 County resolution (which
allows electricity to No Name Key). Yes Commissioners, you can
rescind that local Resolution but that’s irrelevant as the important
part, and what you seem to keep forgetting, is that you cannot
rescind State law and what you keep forgetting it that State law is
controlling.
The Comp Plan has been brought up as well, but that
too is irrelevant as a Comp Plan is little more than a local guiding
document (key word being local), it is not law. A Comp Plan cannot
conflict with State law; any part that does is void and invalid as a
local comp plan does not take precedent over State law.
Commissioners, keep remembering and repeating this one basic
principle: State law is controlling.
As you have been told by the County attorney (as was
reported in the paper last week), “enabling [State] legislation
that established City Electric more than 50 years ago gives Keys
Energy carte blanche to extend electrical power anywhere it sees fit”,
and “that the County Commissioners cannot stand in the way of
electrical power being extended to No Name Key”. That’s because
it’s State law and State law controls, takes precedent, and
overwrites anything locally enacted.
That one NNK person is up to her old smoke and
mirrors tricks (mislead, misstate, and misdirect) trying to get you
to focus on the wrong issues. Commissioners, stop focusing on the
irrelevant local 1951 resolution or other local nonsense, and start
focusing on the only real issue: that State law is controlling and
you cannot rescind State law. |
|
[No
(runner's) marathon in Marathon] Traditionally, a marathon
consists of a race of about 26 miles, the distance from Marathon,
Greece to Athens. The story goes that Phiddipidies ran the distance
to report that the Persians had been defeated by Greek armies at
Marathon, ending their attempt to conquer Greece. He then collapsed
and died.
A marathon would need to begin on the west end of
Long Key and end at the west end of the Seven Mile Bridge. Marathon
(and Key Vaca) are just not long enough to host a marathon unless it
ran a circuit around the island which can't be done without crossing
the route twice, a practice not allowed in competitive running
events. |
|
Ah, The
Glenn Beck Christmas Special forging new traditions with
bulls**t, mediocrity, and volume. |
|
 |
|
This is a very inspiring story about a really
tough kid.
NorthJersey.com: Sawyer Rosenstein, young space enthusiast, rises
above tragedy |
|

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and
let each New Year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin |
|
[500,000 guns] The Swiss have a low crime
rate.
EclippTV :: Video :: Why Switzerland Has The Lowest Crime Rate In
The World |
Bob
Hope
On turning 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill'.
On turning 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs
pressing.'
On turning 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the
cake.'
On turning 100
' I don't feel old. In fact I don't feel anything until noon. Then
it's time for my nap.'
On giving up his early career, boxing
'I ruined my hands in the ring - the referee kept stepping on them.'
On never winning an Oscar
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home,
'Passover'.'
On golf
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green
fees.'
On presidents
' I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained six.'
On why he chose showbiz for his career
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'congratulations you
have an eight-pound ham'.'
On receiving the Congressional Gold Medal
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to
fight it.'
On his family's early poverty
'Four of us slept in the one bed, when it got cold, mother threw on
another brother.'
On his six brothers
'That's how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom.'
On his early failures
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the
audience threw at me.'
On going to heaven
'I've done benefits for all religions. I'd hate to blow the
hereafter on a technicality.' |
|
Has anyone seen paintball splotched iguanas
around? If so, in what colors? |
|
Seasons
Greetings to all of you! It seems that a great
portion of the US will have a white Christmas this year. If you are in the
Mid-Atlantic region and digging out from under all the snow you’ve received.
If you are in the Northeast and still receiving more snow on top of the foot
or so I truly hope you are enjoying your white prelude to Christmas.
We are overjoyed with our upcoming special day that The
Weather Channel has arranged for us. Grandson Michael is telling everyone he
sees ‘I won, I won’ and is already digging out his seldom worn mittens. I
wonder if they’ll still fit.
The Weather Channel has aired a 30 minute special about the
Guaranteed White Christmas. It has aired a few times already and they are
going to run it again on Monday and Tuesday. Both days at 3pm eastern
time. So if you missed it before, set your DVR or Tivo or if you are
available, take a break from Christmas cookies, wrapping gifts, shopping,
and all the other fun and exciting things you have going to watch this
special.
We were simply amazed at some of the other entries for the
White Christmas contest that they show during this special. They are
wonderful entries. We still have to pinch ourselves to see if we’re
dreaming – it’s amazing that they picked Michael’s video out of the hundreds
of very good entries they received.
Make sure to watch us on Christmas Day from 8AM to 2PM with
The Weather Channel’s Adam Berg broadcasting live from our yard covered with
real snow in the Keys. As a special surprise on Christmas day, I’ll be
performing a new Christmas song I’ve just written (I hope it will be done by
then). I hope you’ll tune in wherever you are. We promise we’ll wave to
you!
We wish you the very best for the Christmas Season. May the
tide always pull you back. ~Howie Livingston
www.milemarker24.com |
|

Things you notice when you’re over sixty. |
|
[Who Benefits from Radio Auction] I asked US 1 radio the same
question when I called to bid, who does this benefit? They told me no
one. It's something they do to give their listeners a good deal and
their advertisers some publicity. I got a good deal on one gift
certificate, but what I really wanted was some of the certificates for a
local restaurant. They won't let you bid on anything until it's talked
about on the air. After listening to that auction for several hours,
they finally put the restaurant up. But instead of letting them go for
bids, they sold them at $60 for $100 worth of food. A good deal yes,
but then I couldn't get through. I would have gladly paid more than
$60. So much for "auction". |
|
Proper
pruning explained by the Monroe County
Extension office.
Caring for Plants - Monroe County Extension Office - UF/IFAS Extension:
Solutions for Your Life - Institute of Food and Agric.
|
|
[Some Observations] They sure look like snow
clouds overhead. Who does benefit from the US 1 auction? I noticed that
one out of ten vehicles on the highway is an RV. I hope it's filled with
money, we could sure use it. |
|
Healthcare
Dictionary: Pyr·rhic victory (pĭr'ĭk) n. A
victory that is offset by staggering losses. That's the term that
perfectly describes the apparent skirmish won by Obamacare in the
Senate. Note the use of the term skirmish, not war. That’s yet to come.
I’ll bet that there are many Democrat Senators who do not have a Merry
Christmas when they think about the fact that by a ratio of 46-19
American voters strongly oppose the bill. Paybacks are a bitch. |
|
The Party of
No says Obama is trying to rush the Obamacare vote. The
Republicans conveniently forgot that we’ve been trying to “rush” that
vote for almost forty years. How much longer do they want to wait while
people are dying daily because insurance companies are refusing to honor
their commitment? |
|

[Adrenaline Rush]
Here's a cure for boredom.
http://www.tubewatcher.tv/198 |
|
Soldiers use old art form to
deal with the war. Making paper.
Soldiers use new art form to deal with war | KeysNews.com |
|

Message to the proud member of the IKC: How does an out of state
person join the IKC? |
|
The deadline for publishing is
6am Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or
our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Monday December
21, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Sunday
December 20, 2009 |
|
[Obama Loses on Healthcare] The
insurance company's version of health care more or less passed on Friday and
the insurance company's stocks reached a new high. The Republican's win
again. |
|

Is this a good time to prune my garden in the Lower Keys? I know
certain times of the year are better than others and certain times of the
month are too. |
|
[Global Warming] I think it is amusing and tragic that
the right completely dismisses climate change because of the revealing
emails of some misguided researchers that were uncovered recently. Just
because a few zealots were trying to skewer the data doesn’t mean the
climate isn’t changing. It doesn’t mean that man isn’t exacerbating that
change. |
|
[Get
“In God We Trust” off our money. Changing a few words on paper or in
a recitation will not change the nature or beliefs of this country] That is
not the intention of separation of the Church and State clause in our
Constitution. No one wants to change anyone’s beliefs. The intention was to
keep any religion or belief out of government decisions. All
religions are protected in another area of the Constitution. The separation
part is intended to establish that all decisions will be based on law. It
established us as a government of laws (not religion) which is better for
all. |
|
[Agree
with me or you’re a drunk] That was a good example of assumptions based
on nothing but a person’s shallow opinion. The original poster was
complaining about junk mail and the second poster disagreed so assumed the
first poster was a drunk. I assume the second poster is a jerk. |
|
[Drones]
The Air Force is fighting tooth and nail against unmanned planes of any
sort. They remind me of the fight the army waged long ago against using
bi-planes to drop bombs (they only wanted them to be used for observation).
Another stupid fight was the British in the Revolutionary War. They wouldn’t
let their soldiers fight the rebels from behind trees and insisted they
stand out in the open where they could be shot by the colonists who were
firing from behind trees. |
|
[We’re in the money] CityBank said it’ll pay half of
its $40 billion bailout loan and Wells Fargo is paying back their entire $25
billion dollar bailout loan by selling some of its stock. |
|
[Mac's
twice the price of PCs] They are both excellent computers like a
Lamborghini and a Cadillac are both excellent cars that both go over a
hundred miles an hour. But the Lamborghini is far more elegant even though
they both do the same thing well. A Mac is the Lamborghini of computers.
|
|
Medicare buy-in is the new name for
the public option. Medicare isn’t supposed to be good. If you want good
health insurance buy some additional private insurance. |
|

Marathon should have a Marathon. It’s almost a
no-brainer. I wonder why they haven’t held one on that island yet. |
|
[In defense of The Deer Editor] I’ve always thought it
less than intelligent when people write intelligent remarks and then throw
in some initials that only they understand, but the majority of us do not.
I’m comforted when Ed places the (?) next to those initials. It lets me know
that I’m not a total fool. |
|
[Corruption]
Jess Shows, the former director of the Pigeon Key Foundation stole $30,000
from the nonprofit. He’s expected to turn himself in to police yesterday.
This, on the tail of the Bahama Land Trust $400,000 fiasco, makes one wonder
if it’s in our interest to support these non-profits because they have so
little accountability. They are often used as free money for those who can
get their greedy hands on it. |
|
[Ocean Rising] A guy yesterday said he was with a
bunch of fisherman, one of which has lived in the Keys for 50 years, he said
he hasn’t seen any sign of the ocean rising. I think their observations
might have been clouded by fishing beer or politics.
I live on Long Beach Road and when I moved here in the 60s
the tide was over two hundred feet from my house. Today the tide brings the
water to within fifty feet of my house. If that’s not water rising, I’m a
Republican! |
|

[Christmas Blessings] Be thankful for what you have. Merry Christmas!
Slide
Show |
|
[Local Contractors] I realize that homeowners don’t
have a positive experience with local contractors (Understatement?). I
would like to make note of a very positive experience. I recently hired
Dodge & SeaMark Construction (Kenji & Kelly) to do a cement dock project.
It was a positive experience from start to finish. They did what they said
they would do and when they were going to do it. Obviously, I am pleased,
and relieved that they were so professional. If you are planning a project,
I suggest you put them on your list to call. |
|

Result of leaking Acetylene bottle stored in plumbers van that was
accidently ignited by activating a remote door lock device. Boom! |
|
[War] Numbers are telling!
Stunning Statistics About the War Every American Should Know |
CommonDreams.org |
|
It's
all the Vandenberg's fault
that I am now scuba dive addicted. Lessons, gear, charters are not cheap
but worth it. For some reason, I need seafood after the dive and always go
out to dinner in Key West. Now certified, it's all I think and dream
about. There are so many neat places to dive in the Keys that it will take
about a year before going to Bonaire and Australia. The first place I had
to explore was Key Largo and it is a sure thing that I can never snorkel
again since it's just not fun like scuba diving. Beware that it is so
addicting and exhilarating that nothing really compares and it goes right up
there with great food and sex. Don't be afraid to get certified if you are
healthy and have no major health issues at any age. Sharks won't hurt you
down there; we are their biggest enemy and are making them disappear. Ear
fear was my problem at first but I watched this 55 minute video. http://faculty.washington.edu/ekay/
Take the giant stride and then try the Vandenberg and you may be hooked thru
the gills. Fun is the best thing to have. |
|
Sarah Palin shot a reindeer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6slCpQ45Ts |
|

Keep on truckin’, but hopefully not like these
guys!
Video |
|
Go Tea Party! This will split the
GOP and insure victory for the Dems so they can continue helping the little
guy get back on his feet. |
|
When
I first became a sponsored member of the (IKC) Iguana Killers Club I
never thought that I would be able to proudly achieve the silver status of
25 confirmed Iguana kills. I was recently awarded my gold status pin for 50
single shot kills with never a miss. My next award will be the platinum pin
for 100 kills which I will quickly dispatch to the heavens of dead Iguanas.
I don’t cut off the tails for proof of the kill, I cut off the right front
foot and nail it to the wall in my deer skinning shed. This is reminiscent
of my cutting off the right ear of a dead Viet Cong to confirm the kill.
Young, old, male or female, it doesn’t make a difference in the kill count.
I’m looking forward to our next meeting and Iguana barbeque where I will get
a chance to greet and meet the new members. I still have some mangrove
smoked Iguana left over from our last cook-off. Thanks to our local
officials there is now a Federal funded program to help kill off the
remaining Iguanas in Monroe County. The Feds are going to supply the high
powered air guns, do the required training and pay a reasonable bounty on
all confirmed Iguana kills with the recently approved $346,000.00 grant. To
be eligible for the grant money you must be a member of the IKC. Sign up
today. I’ll keep you posted when I hear more.
The
IKC will be holding a rally at the traffic light on Big Pine Key and all
members are encouraged to attend, proudly wearing their confirmed kill
patches and carrying their weapons. We will have a membership table where
you can sign up to get your membership card. The IKC has the full support of
the NRA. We now have a junior division, male or female for those under the
age of 17 that enjoy the thrill and sport of hunting. We also just received
our first shipment of Iguana cook books with 100 great receipts which we
will be selling at the rally. Please show your support for the local IKC by
honking your horn or dropping a donation into the ammo box. Our new motto is
“DID” Dead Iguana Departed. |
|
Yes,
I'm happy with President Obama. I think he came into a big mess left
by the previous administration and is working tirelessly to fix it. From the
front lines of the tourism industry I can say people are buying more and
spending higher amounts per purchase. Yay, I love the Keys. Happy Holidays
to all our locals, visitors and snowbirds! |
|
[Business
Idea]
Teach those of us who do not know how to fish and harvest our own lobster
and stone crab. Teach us to be ethical anglers and how to properly release
them back into the water. Teach us how to use O rings so we don't hurt
sharks. Teach spear fishing and how to clean a fish. There are a lot of us
who do not know how to fish and we want to learn. You can thank me by
letting me in free because this could be a good gig down here. |
|
Sarah Palin is successful due to
two unflattering assumptions: Americans have the attention span of
hummingbirds, and can be counted on to forget even recent history. |
|
2,000 trapped as Eurostar trains break down |

The Cones Sisters "Merry Texas Christmas You All”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ9gQj9BlFc |
|
[Vandenberg
Good for Keys] Without the accounting facts to substantiate recent
statements, can anyone show any increased revenues? If revenues did
increase, where are their increased payments to the County?
A
few benefit, at the expense of the many. The good of
the majority desecrated for the whim of the minority. Yes, it's a done deal
and the ultimate insult to the taxpayers. TDC folks decided nobody needs to,
or will monitor the money the boat generates. So there will never be any way
to prove its financial impact. It will always be nothing but rhetoric. But
what is tangible, provable is the impact on the taxpayers. Not only did
taxpayers pay for something from which they will never benefit, but that
paying increases their personal financial burdens.
Keep
telling everyone to go dive that boat. At least somebody who sells air will
make a few dollars. |
|
[Does
your dog leak]
Here is what worked. In the morning heaping spoonful of plain low fat yogart,
mix three opened capsules of vitamin corn silk and vitamin cranberry in
addition to squirting apple cider vinegar in to their doggie mouth every
day. Immediate results and no more “whoopsie-daisey”. Large dogs benefit
from glucosamine chondroitin crushed in their food. Today would be a good
day to take it for a nice long walk, but they may catch cold at the swimming
hole. Dogs are not yard ornaments or feel happy when chained and tethered.
They told me to tell you this. |
|
[Brain
Atrophy] What is it about living in the land of sun and beautiful
scenery that makes the residents so brain dead? The Keys please my eyes, but
not my mind. I miss the Met (opera), but not its environment. |
|
[Golf
is Sexy] It’s no
wonder that male golfers love to play golf as there seems to be a lot of
sexual connotation with the language of golf. Ace: expression for one in
the hole. He gets a lot of aces Backdoor: the balls roll around and come in
from the backside Banana Ball: slang for something that moves wildly from
the left to the right Big dog: he drove it home with his big dog driver Bo
Derek: you scored a 10 while on the course Cabbage: thick rough patch
around the hole Cat box: a trap that male golfers look for Choke down:
Hold your grip closer to the shaft Dance floor: doing it on the putting
green Dawn patrol: the first one to get it on Dead: when your balls stop
just shorter than the hole Dimples: makes your balls go higher Down: going
down on the head of the shaft Dog track: not in good condition, worn out,
too old Hooker: shapely sharp curves from the left or right Face: where
the head comes in contact with the balls Frog hair: closely cropped around
the hole Foursome: four players playing with each other Grooves: keeps the
balls up on your face Hangman: 9 tries’ getting into the hole Head: the
part farthest from the base of the shaft Hole: place where you put the
balls with your shaft Honor: the privilege of being the first Hose rocket:
your large shank Lie: a position to lie on the ground to align your shaft
Mixed foursome: the female is paired with a male on each side. Threesome:
similar to a foursome Nineteenth hole: Getting lucky in the bar after the
game Shaft: the head is attached to the shaft Stroke play: the number of
strokes it takes to finish Stiff: balls next to hole but not falling in
Signature hole: most aesthetically pleasing and most photogenic.
Tiger tried to
explain to Elin that oral sex and intercourse are not really the same.
"That's ridiculous" she said. Tiger said, "Well then why do they have
different prices?” |
|
What
is with this US1 radio auction? Who benefits from this? |
|
The
Guy From The Right cracks me up. He's like a modern day Tokyo Rose--all
gloom and doom propaganda with daily wishes of failure for our President and
our country. If you're so unhappy here dude, why do you stay? We could
arrange for your deportation to any country that would have you; or you
could stop bitching and start helping out. Do you really think one man
caused this colossal mess in just 10 short months? Get real and for Gods
sake, quit whining! |
|
[No Name Key Electricity]
County Commissioners: The local County ordinance preventing electricity to
portions of No Name Key wasn’t legal, valid or enforceable from day one as a
superior, controlling and contrary State Law was already in place. State Law
takes precedent over (overwrites) local laws; no local law is valid, nor can
it be enforced, if it conflicts with State Law.
That one No Name Key anti-electricity person can not sue the
County because the County did not enforce a non-legal and invalid local
ordinance. But the thirty-plus pro-electricity people can sue, and do have
legal grounds to sue the County if the County tries to enforce that
non-legal and invalid local ordinance; one which is invalidated, overwritten
and void due to the controlling State law. And, if that happens, you can be
damn sure that damages will come into play because that local ordinance
wasn’t valid from day one. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. |
|

[Sarah Palin
will eat our lunch in a debate] I doubt it. She’d better stick to
mooseburgers. |
|
[I Like Obama] Someone asked if Democrats are happy
with their vote for Obama and I must admit I’m very happy. The more rhetoric
the right puts out the sillier he makes them look. For example, two
automakers are paying back their loans that kept their businesses afloat and
have streamlined to become more profitable. The right wanted them to fail
because of some ridiculous "survival of the fittest" mentality used for
animals. And remember when the right told us Obama wants the government to
take over private business and the automakers were the perfect example? Well
folks, the automakers are not only paying back their loans with great
interest but the government is selling 100% of the shares the automakers put
up for collateral. You can’t get anymore free enterprise then having someone
put up collateral and when they pay it back you get it returned.
I’m happy that while the Right was skewing the President for
not sending more troops to Afghanistan he not only let the Defense Dept.
have a large say in the decision, he got other NATO countries to step up and
provide 10,000 more troops that would have been American of they didn’t. I’m
also happy the president is sending more and more Predators into the enemy’s
homeland to kill them where they are and expanding their range. The right
continues to bash the President and he sits back and makes sound decisions
without bragging about it in the press like some past Presidents on both
sides have done.
I am indeed very happy with America’s leader. I find the day
in and day out bashing of him to be a disgrace. The right has turned into
the modern hippies of the 60s in their disregard for American’s leaders, but
that’s okay. The President has big shoulders and can take it.
The Afghanis have been put on notice that their blank check
and use of America’s children to protect their own country is not unending.
It’s time for them to ante up for themselves. Thank you Mr. President. I now
return you to your bashing of the leader of the free world. I will indeed
proudly vote again for President Obama. |
|
 |
|
[Short-Term Rental] It finally happened, the house
next door was sold, then turned into a rental property, had the downstairs
enclosed, and made into a second rental space. The tenants moved in, parked
their pick-ups and boat trailers all over the place, left their trash cans
out, made all kinds of low rent noise and smelled bad.
My real estate value has been cut in half. Thank you Code
Enforcement for doing your job. |
|

Overhead baggage
compartment rage.
Video |
[From the Right] It now appears
that Senator Ben Nelson has provided Harry Reid with the last vote necessary
to move Obamacare out of the Senate and along to the House for yet another
revamp. Obamacare is not yet dead, and not yet alive. There are tectonic
forces, both right and left, that will birth it or will kill it. This
process has been a revealing look at the character of many of our
Legislators. Just as an example, many Democrat Senators expressed deep
concerns for the horrific fiscal implications of the bill. One of those was
Senator Landrieu (D. LA). She sold out her soul and her vote for a promise
of a $300 mil in benefits for her state. Those benefits will be paid for by
folks on Big Pine Key, Florida, and in every state of the union. Several
other Senators decided to prostitute their votes for similar special favors
that you and I will have to pay for. These Senators said that they were
deeply worried about the bill’s impact on our economy. Then they sold out
for promises of money that you and I will have to pay. Senator Ben Nelson
(D. NE.) said he was dead set against the bill because it would permit
federal payment for abortion. He vowed to oppose the bill. He said it was a
moral issue. It was a moral issue until he was given the promise that his
state would not have to pay any of their share of Medicare/Medicaid expenses
again, ever. Then he caved, and promised his vote to Reid. But, abortions
can still be funded by federal dollars. Senator Bernie Sanders, (I. VT) an
avowed Socialist opposed the bill on moral grounds; he felt that the bill
was not sufficiently socialist. He vowed to vote against it. He caved after
a Reid promise of $10 billion to his pet projects. What is the difference
between a courtesan and a crack whore? The price.
(Part II) Yesterdays Democrat’s posting that expressed dismay at the
performance of Mr. Obama is not unique. There is little doubt that many, if
not most, Democrats have that same sense of dismay. Mr. Obama has sold out
his far left base, and his centrist supporters. Mr. Obama has broken his
promises for open and transparent government. He promised a new spirit of
bi-partisanship. He promised to web post all legislation. Take a look at the
address at the bottom and compare his promise to his performance. The
foregoing are comments on but a few of his broken promises only about the
way he would govern. Mr. Obama is not a Democrat, he is a Socialist. He is
doing what was expected by Republicans and Conservatives. He is doing what
Socialists do. There is no surprise when a fish swims. I don’t think that
many Democrats expected an avalanche of socialism. Yesterday’s poster said
“America is too big to fail”. I respectfully and urgently disagree. We are
not too big to fail, as you read this we are on a downward spiral towards
national failure. If we fail, that failure will be precipitated by our debt.
The Soviet Union failed. The Roman Empire failed, the time between is
littered with the bones of scores or perhaps hundreds of failed nations. Mr.
Obama is obsessed with the notion that the America culture is a failed
culture. The proof is in his obsessive apologizing for America. His record
is replete with actions that strongly suggest that he is intent on
subverting our nation and its interests to international governance. That is
not the spirit of the Democrat party that I know, but that is the heart of
Socialism. I don’t hate Mr. Obama, but I do hate his actions and what he
stands for.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Api4fUziAnI |
|
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Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
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Menu |
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Sunday
December 20, 2009 |
|
 |
|
Saturday
December 19, 2009 |
|
(eD: No edIT SatuRDAY!!!!!!......b-cuz u
assd 4 iT!!!!!!!!! |
|
USNS Vandenberg response: I have no (zero)
relationship or involvement in the Vandenberg project. I do not
personally know anyone who was involved in this project. No I do not
have a “sink the Vandenberg” decal on my car. I am a resident of Key
West who has made over a dozen dives on this wreck and truly appreciate
the efforts of those who did put this project together. While moored on
the wreck I often initiate conversation with folks on the other boats
and have met divers from North Florida, Virginia, and Georgia. I have no
idea who is on the commercial charter boats; however, can tell you they
often have a good number of divers. I see no need to go into what
monies a tourist spends when traveling down to the keys on a dive trip
but to imply the dive boat/shop operators are the only ones benefiting
from this attraction is simply not true.
The investment spent on this tourist
attraction will continue to provide tax revenue to Monroe County for
many years. The ship requires no maintenance or additional government
funding to provide financial returns. Anyone who promised instant
returns on this investment was correct; it has been providing returns
since the day it went down. Is the Vandenberg going to generate three
million dollars in tax revenue this year, of course not. Certainly this
was not meant to be a get rich quick project ,if someone made claims
this would be a quick return on investment then shame on them.
Regarding your concern over my personal
and aggressive comments, please take a look at who started the
negativity on this subject by berating the person who was simply
commenting on how they are enjoying this dive site. Demanding your tax
money back is a silly and ignorant comment, sorry if the truth stings a
bit. If each of us demanded a tax refund on projects we did not agree
with can you imagine the results? I am not familiar with Tom Willi or
the waste water funds you are noting. If you have a problem with Tom
Willi, so be it, I do not know him or care to meet him. Local politics
in this county is a tragedy and I am not going to waste time debating
these issues. I will continue to dive the Vandenberg and encourage every
diver I know, even those from out of state to enjoy this awesome
resource. |
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