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 [Cuckoo Corner] “When you book a flight it’s using demonic technology.”
Wait! There’s an easier way to fly without using “demonic” airplanes. There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day and try it. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt. That is, it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fall to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It’s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won’t. You have to have you attention suddenly distracted by something else when you’re halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss it. ~The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy |
 Large dog breeds die younger. Biologists think they finally know why. ‘Jumping genes’ may explain shorter lifespans. Link |
| [Friday Joke] During a job interview, the manager asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” The applicant said, “Hopefully somewhere with a better answer to this question.” The manager laughed and said, “That’s honest.” The applicant smiled and replied, “Thank you. I practiced that answer for three years.” |
 [Doomsday] In 1960, scientists predicted the world would end on November 13, 2026. And yes, doomsday falls on Friday the 13th |
| [Charge it] At JPMorgan Chase, credit and debit card sales volume was up 10% compared with a year earlier. At Wells Fargo, debit card spending increased 8% year over year, up from 5% growth a year earlier. Credit card spending jumped 12%. At Citigroup, general-purpose card spending jumped 13%. |
 [Regional War] The whole Middle East is aflame with war. Everyone hates each other’s way to worship their own particular god. |
| [Social Security Increase] Seventy-six million Americans will see a 3.6 percent increase in their Social Security benefits and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) payments in 2027. The fastest way to view your Cost-of-Living Adjustment (COLA) notice is online, inside your personal my Social Security account. Starting in late November, you may securely view and save your COLA notice in the Message Center. Log in to your my Social Security account today and ensure your Communication & Notification Preferences are set to receive paperless notices. |
 I learned that there’s a Yankeetown, Florida. And all this time I thought anything south of St. Augustine was Yankeetown. And anything north of St. Augustine was just a suburb of Georgia and Alabama. |
| [?] I’m not sure whether Big Pine Key Industrial Park is something you’d ever sell. Would you entertain a serious offer? |
| [?] Hi there, I am the program lead for Habitat for Humanity of Lower Keys and Key West. Our application cycle is currently open for 4 new houses in Big Pine Key (throughout the Avenues). I am trying to extend this information to as many members of the community as possible. The pre-application closes on November 1. Thank you, Morgan Hirselj morgan@habitatlowerkeys.org |
 [Windows OS] I wish to God Bill Gates never sold out to that bunch of greedy whores who ruined Windows and MS Office. Everything ran fine until they FIU! I will never dump my old desktop and laptops with W7! (Editor: This poster is on a one-man crusade against Windows OS, but he never says why or gives an example.) |
| [Friday Joke] A customer called a restaurant and asked, “Do you serve breakfast all day?” The waiter said, “Yes.” The customer replied, “Great. I’ll have pancakes.” The waiter asked, “Would you like anything else?” The customer said, “No, that’s all.” The waiter replied, “Excellent. We’ll bring them right away.” The customer paused and said, “Actually, can you make them yesterday’s pancakes?” The waiter asked, “Why?” “Because I’m really hungry and I don’t want to wait.” |
 Junk in the Trunk is a waterfront treasure hunt featuring household goods, furniture, tools, vintage finds, collectibles and the unexpected bargains that make a community yard sale worth exploring. Link |
| Netflix plans to lay off 6% of its global workforce, or roughly 1,000 employees, in an effort to better position itself for future investments. The company is not growing as fast as he would like. The cuts are expected to mostly impact the company’s business functions, including human resources, product, technology and legal teams. |
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| [Dancing] Finding the groove: what’s the best genre of music to dance to?What is it about music that makes even non-professionals want to hit the dancefloor, and is it disco, funk or even classical that does it best? Four leading choreographers discuss their theories, with the science to back them up. Link |
 The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club is holding our 1ST SHOW & SHINE of the 26-27 season on Sunday, Oct 18th Noon to 3PM at the Sugarloaf Lodge MM17. For more information contact Lance Stehman 305-797-6782
(Editor: I want to know how The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club got Peter Max to design their new poster. Is he still dead?) |
| [Tupac Shakur’s Murder] Duane ‘Keffe D’ Davis sentenced to 40 years to life over Tupac Shakur’s murder. ‘You don’t get to take a man from his family … and just walk away from it,’ judge says as former gang leader sentenced. Link |
 [A Murder Of Crows] Woman who rescued injured crow keeps getting ‘thank-you gifts’ from birds. Video |
| [Cancelled News Sites] Meta’s new commercial terms will allow the scraping of news sites, legal experts say. Starting October 30, business accounts will consent to Meta scraping their websites if they continue using Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp. Meta can use web scrapers to crawl and collect content from websites “associated with” business accounts on its platforms, according to its new commercial terms of use. Link |
 Tesla’s new Roadster makes a flying debut, hitting 60 MPH in under a second. Turns out the future does have flying cars. Tesla unveiled its long-anticipated Roadster on Thursday during a dramatic event in which the vehicle used compressed-air thrusters to fly off a ramp and perform a midair maneuver. Video |
| [Engineering] The incredible engineering that allows articulated buses to bend. Link |
 [Alabama Jack’s] Landmark Keys waterfront bar selling for $4.9M — conch fritter recipe included. Link |
| [Super Ice] Is 10 times stronger, bringing it close to the strength of concrete. During the Second World War, the British Royal Navy experimented with the idea of using ice reinforced with wood pulp to build an aircraft carrier. The composite material, known as Pykrete, was apparently as strong as concrete, as long as it could be kept frozen. The ship would’ve effectively been a floating, custom-made, strengthened iceberg for planes to take off from and land on – but with rising costs and better options becoming available, the project was eventually abandoned. Link |
 The ‘Holy Grail’ of baseball cards is up for auction. The rare T206 Wagner card could sell for over $3 million on October 25. Link |
| [The Great Crack] Hawaii Volcanoes National Park has an 8-mile-long fissure in the earth. They call it “The Great Crack.” Link |
 [Coke Not Pepsi] KFC announced a deal to ditch its long-time beverage supplier for rival Coca-Cola at its U.S. restaurants. KFC has been one of the biggest sellers of Pepsi among U.S. restaurant chains, but no more |
| [Friday Joke] A man walked into a library and asked the librarian, “Do you have any books about how to improve my memory?” The librarian smiled and asked, “Sure. Have you read any of them before?” The man thought for a moment and said, “I honestly can’t remember.” She nodded and said, “Perfect. You qualify for the advanced section.” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 10/16/26 at 8:53 am. |
 [For Rent] Two Bedroom Duplex on Canal. Big Pine Key. 2 bedrooms. One bath. Unfurnished ½ Duplex on clean boating canal w/seawall going to Pine Channel and the coral reef. Port Pine Heights sub-division. Beautiful, vaulted ceilings. Tiled floors throughout. Laundry room. Very clean. Central A/C. Ground level. Quiet neighborhood. No smokers or dogs. $2000 a month. First, last and $1000 security ($5000 total to move in) Landlord pays for trash pickup, tenant pays all other utilities and services. Available now.–Text only—305-942-4323 More Pictures Here |
 [REDUCED] Pellet Gun Gamo Swarm Maxxim 10X GEN 2 Multi-Shot Air Rifle. Two 10-round .177 clips. 3 x 9 variable scope. Box of pellets. $200 new. Now $75. b33043@outlook.com Video |
 [For Sale] Folding scaffold 30L x 12w x 20h. 4 scaffolds (not sold separately) New $200, Big Pine Key pick-up half-price: $100. Excellent condition.b33043@outlook.com Link |
 [For Sale] Crossman P1377 American Classic Variable-Pump .177-Caliber Pellet Air Pistol. New $70. For Sale $25. 800 feet per second. Pick up on Big Pine Key. b33043@outlook.com Video |
| Snapshots taken from Big Pine Key looking North between Annette Key and Mayo Key every Friday evening since 2023. You may hover to view a photo, see the date of the photo, or use the left or right arrows on the images. |
