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2026 March

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

BigPineKey.com Since 2002
Celebrating Big Pine Key’s Garbage Pick Up Days:
Tuesdays & Fridays
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[Chuck Norris is Dead] The martial artist known for a string of hit action movies and the series “Walker, Texas Ranger,” has died, according to his family. He was 86. He was a lousy acter, his face seldom moved or showed expression. Link
[Natural Rhythm] Is it better to be a morning person or a night owl? What the science says. The key isn’t waking up early—it’s syncing your life to your natural rhythm. Link
Cabana Club in Key Colony Beach membership is open to homeowners in Key Colony Beach or Marathon. If you own the house, the rate depends on whether you plan to rent it out as a vacation rental or live in it. If you will be living in it yourself that would be a personal membership, which allows you & your family in the house to come in. The rate for that is $3,286/year (gasp!). They have a private pool, beach, restaurant & bar. Let management know if you would like an application & own the house and management can send you one right back.  info@thecabanaclubkeycolonybeach.com
[Big Pine Book Club Book for April 18 Meeting] Girly Drinks: A World History of Women and Alcohol by Mallory O’Meara From the earliest days of civilization, alcohol has been at the center of social rituals and cultures worldwide. But when exactly did drinking become a gendered act? And why have bars long been considered “places for men” when, without women, they might not even exist?
With whip-smart insight and boundless curiosity, Girly Drinks unveils an entire untold history of the female distillers, drinkers and brewers who have played a vital role in the creation and consumption of alcohol, from ancient Sumerian beer goddess Ninkasi to iconic 1920s bartender Ada Coleman. Filling a crucial gap in culinary history, O’Meara dismantles the long-standing patriarchal traditions at the heart of these very drinking cultures, in the hope that readers everywhere can look to each celebrated woman in this book—and proudly have what she’s having. Book Club
[AI Healthcare] Get same/next day appointments with One Medical, you can experience exceptional care designed around you: Compassionate providers who treat you as a person, not a number. Providers who spend time with you, so you don’t feel rushed. Care for your whole self, body and mind. Appointments that fit your schedule, in-person or virtual visits. Try a One Medical free membership for 14 days and experience care designed around you. 14 Days of Free Medical Advice
If you’re craving some Chinese on a bright Tuesday morn, In the Middle Keys if you’ll be hungry and feeling forlorn,
You can drive down to Big Pine for China Garden’s delight,
But on Tuesdays they’re closed — not a dumpling in sight!
So you’ll hop back in your car and cruise down to Marathon, Saying,
“Panda House will save me, my hunger will be gone!”
But the doors will be locked and the lights will be dim, And your chances of egg rolls are looking pretty slim.
So on Tuesdays dear friend, eat your breakfast real big,
Have some leftovers ready, maybe chicken or a fig.
Cook your own fried rice, grab some soy sauce and pray, Because Chinese food in the Keys just ain’t happening Tues-day.
Remember this poem when you wake Tuesday morning,
Consider this your official Keys Chinese food warning,
Both Panda and Garden will be resting their woks,
So stock up on Monday or you’re eating bagels and lox.
Julia Butterflies will often land on a caiman’s eyes to lap up the minerals found in their salty crocodile tears. This particular Spectacled Caiman in Brazil’s Pantanal looked especially pleased with its new fashion accessories, and I couldn’t resist taking a photo of that self-satisfied look.  ~Morris Hersko
Microsoft spent four years stuffing Windows 11 with ads, forced Copilot integrations, and bloatware, now they want applause for promising to remove it. Microsoft just announced a 7-point plan to fix Windows 11, and the tech press is treating it like a redemption arc. Pavan Davuluri, the Windows president, admitted in January 2026 that “Windows 11 had gone off track” and said Microsoft was entering a mode called “swarming” where engineers would be pulled off new features to fix existing problems.
The “fix” promises “fewer ads.” Fewer! The operating system you paid $139 for at retail should have exactly zero ads, and the fact that “fewer” is supposed to impress anyone shows how thoroughly Microsoft has lowered the bar. Link
[Celebrate Alien Abduction Day] New York jumps to No. 3 for US alien abductions — experts reveal why it’s such a hot zone. Video
[Avoiding Back Door Hacks] FCC updates covered list to include foreign-made consumer routers, prohibiting approval of new models. Update follows determination by executive branch agencies that consumer-grade routers produced in foreign countries threaten national security. They recently found backdoors in the Ring door cameras and Roomba vacuums that potentially could allow bad guys into your life. Link
Valerie Perrine, Superman and Lenny actor, dies aged 82. Perrine gained notoriety for a naked TV role and was acclaimed for her roles opposite Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman and Jeff Bridges. Link
The word shambles comes from the meat street in York, England in the 19th century where the butchers and meat sellers where located. It stunk and was the buildings were not maintained and blood ran in the gutters. A total shambles!
How I Built an AI Receptionist for a Luxury Mechanic Shop. My brother is a luxury mechanic shop owner, and he’s losing thousands of dollars per month because he misses hundreds of calls per week. He’s under the hood all day. The phone rings, he can’t answer, the customer hangs up and calls someone else. That’s a lost job. Link
Pompeii‘s battle scars linked to an ancient ‘machine gun’ Link
How marine mammals stay hydrated in a salty sea. There’s a major source of not-so-salty water in the ocean on which many species rely. From chomping down on water-rich prey to very salty pee. Link
I heard on the Dave Elliott radio show yesterday that it was Alien Abduction Day. Does this refer to space aliens abducting innocent Earthlings or the activities of ICE agents abducting and incarcerating undocumented immigrants at concentration camps like Alligator Alcatraz? Or both?  ~Curious in Clewiston
[State Bird] The Florida legislature designated the flamingo as the state’s official bird. But they can’t seem to find a name for it. As there is no ‘it’ there is no actual bird in a cage that they revere enough to name. Why do people have to name things that have no possibility of ever responding. There’s a tree on the 7-mile-bridge they named. Right.. “Here Tree” The blimp on Cudjoe Key, they named after a pedophile’s stage character. The pilot whales that all died on Big Pine Key, they had to name. What’s the point? Women name their cars. What could be more foolish than that. “Here Chevy… puss, puss, puss…” The guy who invented the pet rock capitalized on this foolishness and made millions.
History of the Web from 2003 on. Interactive
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LaGuardia plane crash audio captures moments before fatal collision: ‘I messed up’. Video
[AI Healthcare] Public radio had a segment where the same question was posed to an AI medical bot twice, but one word was changed in the second question. One diagnosis suggested aspirin and bed rest, and the other said to go to the emergency room immediately as death was possible. Beware of AI health advice and use common sense when thinking about its diagnosis.
Chuck Norris, the martial arts grandmaster and action star whose roles in “Walker, Texas Ranger” and other television shows and movies made him an iconic tough guy — sparking internet parodies and adoration from presidents — has died at 86. Norris died Thursday, in what his family described as a “sudden passing.” “While we would like to keep the circumstances private, please know that he was surrounded by his family and was at peace,”
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 3/24/26 at 9:01 am.

 

[REDUCED] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. Only 3 houses are on the street and none are across from the home. $550,000.
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