BigPineKey.com – Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

BigPineKey.com Since 2002
Celebrating Big Pine Key’s Garbage Pick Up Days:
Tuesdays & Fridays
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Easter Sunday is considered one of the most important Christian holidays, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In the United States, it is commonly observed by attending church services, joining Easter egg hunts, and sharing meals with family and friends. Link

What’s a brain freeze and why do they happen? Ice cream headaches and migraines have a lot in common. Link

[Stupid Tourists Questions] “How far do you have to dive to get under the island?” Full Menu > Stupid Tourist Questions

[Friday Joke] My buddy Remo is worried AI is coming for his job. Right. I’d like to see AI measure something 3 times and still cut it wrong. I don’t think he should be worried.

[Cashing In] Mr. Trump and his family have made millions from the products — more than $1 million from guitars and at least another $2.8 million from the watches alone, according to annual disclosures from the president. And he misses few opportunities to market the wares. He shows off hats and T-shirts at his political rallies, his coins and colognes in advertisements and his cufflinks and candies to visiting dignitaries in a room next to the Oval Office. Link

Donate blood this month and receive an e-Gift Card/Publix Card depending on the drive location plus an umbrella. Thank you to those who donate life-saving blood. Link

[Build, Baby, Build] Are all those people clamoring to develop every inch of the Keys planning to live here for the rest of their lives? I didn’t think so. Most of us moved here to get away from noise and congestion and to live here as long as we are able. That’s why we oppose change. The modern carpetbaggers (that’s what they are) are here just for profit and then they will move leaving us with their noise and congestion. Developers, big and small, want to build in every empty space, sell it and move out of here to someplace with less noise and congestion.

[SeaCamp] Island Groove Dance Studio Summer Camps are open for ages 4–12! Families can enjoy: Fun themed camps. Dancing, crafts, games, and activities. Full day and half day options. A welcoming and creative environment for kids ages 4–12.
Early Bird Full Day Camp Rate: 9AM–3PM $225 for the full week.
Half Day Camp: 9:00 AM–12:00 PM $185 for the full week.

Do water picks really work? Dentists weigh in. Water flossers can be effective, but don’t throw out your string floss just yet. Link

[Friday Joke] My good friend Benny is getting up in age and decided to start compiling a family tree to leave for his daughter. He looked into the prices of those DNA registry companies and decided instead just make a post announcing he’d won the lottery. He’s documented two generations back, already this week.

[The Standard 30] No matter what anyone does or how awful they are, polls will most always show a 30% approval rating. Remember this as you look at different polls.

Artemis II’s toilet is a moon mission milestone. On their voyages to the moon, NASA’s astronauts are finally getting some creature comforts of terrestrial toilets—such as having a door and being able to pee and poop simultaneously. Link

[Grammar Police] Why do TV personalities, mostly news, weather, and sports pronounce today (to-day) Tuh-day? Annoys me, everyday!

[Spying] Microsoft is running one of the largest corporate espionage operations in modern history. Every time any of LinkedIn’s one billion users visits linkedin.com, hidden code searches their computer for installed software, collects the results, and transmits them to LinkedIn’s servers and to third-party companies including an American-Israeli cybersecurity firm. The user is never asked. Never told. LinkedIn’s privacy policy does not mention it. Because LinkedIn knows each user’s real name, employer, and job title, it is not searching for anonymous visitors. It is searching for identified people at identified companies. Millions of companies. Every day. All over the world.
This is illegal and potentially a criminal offense in every jurisdiction we have examined. Link

My old challenge was to go a day without booze, now it’s to go a day without hearing about Artificial Intelligence.

[Movies] When a passenger yells for driver to stop, why does it takes so long for the driver to stop?

[Worst DUI Award] Tiger woods. 4 crashes 7 surgeries. When you have that much surgery, you’re bound to become addicted to pain killers.

[Crooks] Inside Nepal’s fake rescue racket. Investigations reveal a vast network of trekking firms, helicopter operators, hospitals and agents staging fake evacuations, fabricating medical records and inflating bills to siphon millions from global insurers. Link

[Oil] If the US has more oil than any other place, why do we import 30-35% of our total oil consumption and invade other nations to steal their oil?

[Friday Joke] A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of this, the man ﬁnally gets fed up and throws the parrot into the freezer to teach it a lesson. He hears the parrot squawking and kicking for a few minutes, but then all goes quiet. The man opens the freezer up, the parrot calmly steps out onto the man’s outstretched arm and says, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor to correct my behavior.”
The man is astounded. As he’s about to ask the parrot what’s caused this sudden change in attitude, the parrot continues, “May I ask what the mg did?”

The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 4/3/26 at 8:58 am.

[UNDER CONTRACT] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. Only 3 houses are on the street and none are across from the home. $550,000.
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