BigPineKey.com

bigpinekey.com’s

The only non-profit un-social media.60,000 followers.
Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)

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[UPS Store Closed] “Due to circumstances beyond our control. The UPS store on Big Pine Key is temporarily closed until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience. The locations in Key West and Marathon are open.” That’s awful and means we have to use that awful UPS drop box in Winn Dixie that is either full or out of order. I like the UPS store because the people are so nice.

[Friday Joke] Me, “Honey, would you marry again if I died?” My Wife, “It depends if I found guilty?”

[“Hummingbirds”] Over time we’ve put up 3 different hummingbird feeders and have never had a hummingbird. We have all kinds of other birds all over the place but never a hummingbird. We’ve tried every kind of sugar water, prepared every way, and we even bought sugar water (how stupid).

[Bad Vibes] The earth upon which Jerusalem sits is evil. It has never known peace and may be the actual center of evil. Major religions have tried to change the vibes by building their places of worship and never had success. The original temple was built there in order to neutralize the bad vibes, but it didn’t work. It’s worse than ever and the evil is again spreading through the region. Christ, they even tortured Jesus there!

Does anyone know why the UPS Store on Big Pine is closed? I hope they reopen soon.

Take the key deer survey. It’s just a few questions. Link

[First ‘Robot’ in Cinema] Filmmakers have been worried about the robots fighting back since 1897. Video

The US Navy sunk an Iran warship with a torpedo. That was the first torpedo fired in anger since the second world war.

[Friday Joke] A man walks into a English barber shop and sits down for a haircut. As the barber begins cutting his hair, they start chatting. The barber says, “You know, I’ve got a special technique that will make you look ten years younger!” The man, intrigued, asks, “Really? What’s the secret?” The barber replies, “It’s simple. I just cut off all your hair!” They both laugh, and the barber continues cutting. After a while, the man says, “I’ve got to admit, I feel ten years younger already!” The English barber grins and says, “That’s great! Now, if only I could make you ten pounds lighter!” The man chuckles and says, “How do you plan to do that?” The English barber leans in and whispers, “I’ll just take my scissors to your wallet!”

[Scams] Common red flags to watch for. Fake security alerts. Pop-ups that claim: “Your computer is infected!” “Call Microsoft immediately!” “Your data is at risk—click here!” Legitimate companies do not use scare tactics or pop-ups that demand you call a phone number

[Cat Puke] This morning while I was getting ready to go exercise, I heard dreaded familiar sounds. Freddie, the cat,  was delivering 2 ‘uh-ohs’ in the hall. I was late & didn’t have time to clean them up. When I got home the little puke was mostly cleaned up & the big puke was all gone! I guess his breakfast was good enough to eat twice.

[AI Improved Firefox’s Already Tight Security] Anthropic’s team got in touch with Firefox engineers after using Claude to identify security bugs in our JavaScript engine. Within hours, our platform engineers began landing fixes, and we kicked off a tight collaboration with Anthropic to apply the same technique across the rest of the browser codebase. In total, we discovered 14 high-severity bugs and issued 22 CVEs as a result of this work. All of these bugs are now fixed in the latest version of the browser. In addition to the 22 security-sensitive bugs, Anthropic discovered 90 other bugs, most of which are now fixed. The scale of findings reflects the power of combining rigorous engineering with new analysis tools for continuous improvement. We view this as clear evidence that large-scale, AI-assisted analysis is a powerful new addition in security engineers’ toolbox.

Polio advisories issued to travelers while Florida lawmakers try to cut vaccine mandates. Florida now has the third-highest outbreak of infectious measles in the nation.

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[British Navy] A talking head was worrying over the degradation of the British Navy and said the British base in Cyprus was attacked and it wasn’t until now that their destroyer left the dock. They were ordered to Cyprus two weeks ago and they just left port. Two weeks to leave the dock to defend Cyprus from attack? Remember when England ruled the sea?

[The Fall of The Swiss Watch Brand] In the early 1970s disaster struck the Swiss watch industry. Now people call it the quartz crisis, but in fact it was a compound of three separate disasters that all happened at about the same time. The first was competition from Japan. The Swiss had been watching the Japanese in the rearview mirror all through the 1960s, and they’d been improving at an alarming rate. But even so the Swiss were surprised in 1968 when the Japanese swept all the top spots for mechanical watches at the Geneva Observatory trials. The Swiss knew what was coming. For years the Japanese had been able to make cheaper watches. Now they could make better ones too. To make matters worse, Swiss watches were about to become much more expensive… Link

[Wikipedia Account Compromised] A serious security incident occurred across Wikimedia projects, including the online encyclopedia Wikipedia, on March 5, 2026. The issue compromised an administrator account at the Wikimedia Foundation, leading to mass deletion and vandalism of pages across multiple language versions, temporarily putting the entire site into read-only mode and disabling JavaScript. The malicious code was a script called ‘Wikiworm,’ created in 2023. Link

[National Security] On March 4 Anthropic received a letter from the Department of War confirming that we have been designated as a supply chain risk to America’s national security.  We do not believe this action is legally sound, and we see no choice but to challenge it in court. Link

[Age Verification Problem] The challenges we face are neither technical nor legal. The only solution is to educate our children about life with digital abundance.

Due to circumstances beyond our control. The UPS store on Big Pine Key is temporarily closed until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience. The locations in Key West and Marathon are open.

[Friday Joke] A scientist invents a time machine and decides to test it. He sets the machine to take him back to the year 1920. As he arrives, he finds himself in a bustling speakeasy. Curious, he approaches the bar and orders a drink. The bartender, a burly man with a thick mustache, raises an eyebrow and says, “What’s your poison?” The scientist replies, “I’ll have a martini.” The bartender laughs and says, “You must be from the future! Back in my day, we drank whiskey!” Intrigued, the scientist asks, “What’s the best whiskey you have?” The bartender smirks and pours a shot. “Here you go, my friend. This is the finest whiskey in town.” The scientist takes a sip, grimaces, and exclaims, “This is terrible!” The bartender laughs heartily and says, “Well, what do you expect? You’ve had the good stuff all your life!” The scientist, feeling bold, challenges the bartender to a whiskey tasting. They spend the night sampling various whiskeys, and by the end, the scientist is quite tipsy. As he stumbles back to his time machine, he thinks to himself, “Well, I guess you can’t always trust the past!”

The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 3/6/26 at 8:07 am.

[REDUCED] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. Only 3 houses are on the street and none are across from the home. $550,000.
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