bigpinekey.com’s
The only non-profit un-social media.60,000 followers.
Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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| [It’s a Man’s World] What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress – $5,000. Tux rental – $100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache… You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. James Brown – It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World |
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 [It Isn’t Even Christmas yet Department] Drunk woman slides down chimney and needs rescuing. Video |
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| If everyone in the world turned on the lights at the same time, what would happen? A big spike in lighting would dramatically increase sky glow. Link | |
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| [When It’s Okay (or Not) to Feed Birds] Providing food—for photography or simple enjoyment—can be a thorny issue. For guidance, ask yourself these three questions. Link | |
| [Deer Abby] What is this Banned Book 451 about? Want a copy on DVD? “In preparation for Banned Book Week in October, I ordered Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury for the September 20th meeting”  Deer Banned, Fahrenheit 451 is one of the many books banned by the far Right’s influence. Others include Lord of the Flies, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Animal Farm, To Kill a Mockingbird, and many other books we grew up with that annoy the far Right. |
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| The Chemical Elements of a Smartphone. Link | |
 [Nut On The Loose] On July 19, 36-year-old Stephen Blasetti allegedly stole a boat and took it for a joyride on the Hudson River in New York. Blasetti, notably, wasn’t wearing any clothes when he committed the theft, for which he was charged with grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property and reckless endangerment. He was admitted to New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia in New York for a psychiatric evaluation, but early on July 23, Blasetti slipped out of his handcuffs as the police officer guarding him slept, borrowed a doctor’s lab coat and left the hospital. He was last seen on surveillance video walking down a sidewalk, barefooted. |
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| Corals keep cooking in climate-heated seas. These crossbreeds may keep hope alive. Link | |
 [Big Pine Computer Club] Sat August 9, 10:30 am at the BPK Community Center, Winn Dixie Plaza. C’mon in & cool off. Bring your phone, tablet or laptop and we will try to answer your questions about your device or apps. |
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 [A Tale Of Two Cities] Gaza City before and after. Video |
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| YouTube users watch on TV more than mobile. Over 1 billion hours of YouTube content are watched each day. Twenty years later, YouTube is more popular than ever. According to Nielsen’s monthly Gauge Report, YouTube amassed a higher share of usage than any other streaming provider – including Netflix and Prime Video – for the past two years. In December’s report, YouTube’s share was a record high share of 11.1% with an increase of 7% from the previous month. Link | |
 [Longevity] Why do small dogs live longer than large dogs? Video |
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| [Hamburg] Hard to imagine all those prices were for the same ratio of beef to fat. I’m going to assume Dear Ed put that headline, which begs the question what does a town in Germany have to do with the price of beef? Please don’t kill the messenger!Deer Abby, You will not be put to the sword, but did you know restaurant ground beef is 15-20% fat, depending on what the restaurant ordered. When people are heard raving about a juicy burger, it’s more than likely that it is more than 20% fat. Put that burger outside in the cold and it solidifies. A carnivore hockey puck Oww, my arteries! |
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| [Eating Out — Men vs Women] When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. | |
 [Friday Joke] How I learned to mind my own business: I was walking by a mental hospital the other day and the patients behind the fence were shouting, “13, 13, 13…” The fence was too high to see over but I saw a crack in the fence, so I bent over to look through the crack and someone jabbed me in the eye with a stick. Then the patients began chanting, “14,14,14…” |
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| [Friday Joke] I changed my password to “incorrect” So, whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say “Your password is incorrect.” | |
 Why do we have earlobes? They make no evolutionary sense. Our ears are complex wonders. Our earlobes? They’re extra. Are they just for hanging earrings? Link |
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| Submit a post Contact Us What are you afraid of? | |
 [For Rent] 2 bedrooms. One bath. Unfurnished Duplex on clean boating canal w/seawall going to Pine Channel and coral reef. Tiled floors throughout. Stainless steel appliances. Ceiling fans in living room, kitchen and bath. Laundry room. Small screened porch. Very clean. A/C., large brick patio. Parking for 2 vehicles. Ground level. Port Pine heights subdivision. Quiet neighborhood. 750 square feet. No smokers or dogs. $2000 a month. First, last and $1000 security ($5000 total to move in) Utilities not included. 3970 No Name Road. Port Pine Heights sub-division. For more info and photos (text only)305-942-4323 or email: b33043@outlook.com |
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| [Friday Joke] Dogs aren’t the only animal you can train. I had a goldfish that could breakdance on the carpet…but only for like 20 seconds. | |
 [Burning Big Pine Key] Controlled burns. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service plans to conduct prescribed burns in one or more locations within the National Key Deer Refuge on Big Pine Key between September and December 2025. When suitable weather conditions are presented, a highly qualified staff of interagency professional fire specialists will implement the prescribed burns. The primary reasons for conducting these burns are to remove the over accumulation of vegetation acting as fire fuel along our wildland-urban interface to protect our community private property and residents, and for ecological purposes aimed at mimicking a natural fire in the pine rockland habitat. This activity creates a defensible space between refuge lands and private property that helps to prevent or reduce the threat of wildfires by reducing fuel loads. Restoration and maintenance of the fire-dependent pine rockland habitat is essential for a healthy ecosystem. Prescribed burns are important for the continued survival of local species such as the federally endangered Key deer, the Bartram’s hairstreak butterfly and the butterfly’s host plant, pineland croton, which has evolved to be dependent upon fire. Mechanized methods have also been used to strengthen fire breaks, as well as to mimic fire and restore pineland croton habitat in areas that are too overgrown or too close to private property to safely conduct prescribed fire activities. keydeer@fws.gov |
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 [The History of SPAM] Max Miller dives into the surprising story of SPAM—how a simple canned meat became a wartime essential and a global cultural icon. He also whips up a retro 1950s Spam and cheese ribbon loaf, proving SPAM’s history is as flavorful as it is unexpected. Video |
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| [Friday Joke] I got fired today because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-Smoking”. Apparently the correct words are “Cremation ” or “burial”. |
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 Anti-social worker. |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/8/25 at 8:12 am. | |
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  REDUCED $500 every 2 weeks2012 21’6” Key West Bay Reef 2015 250HP Suzuki DF250APX (321 hours) 25’ Continental tandem trailer rebuilt with new tandem axels, running lights, brake lights in 2024.
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