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 I found a dog by my house MM 92 and will take to the vet on Monday to scan for a chip, but meanwhile where I can post him to try and find the owners? I posted on Facebook’s Lost Dogs of the Florida Keys but wondering where else I can post. Thanks in advance. ocean513beach@yahoo.com |
| [Keeping Your Wealth] Old people ‘s number one goal used to be good health. Today the #1 is financial security. #2 is keeping it and #3 health. |
 “Applications are now open for the first-ever Sperm Racing World Cup”, LAD Bible reported on March 13. While a date has not been set for the competition, organizers expect specimens from men from 128 countries around the world to race around a tiny track, all in the hopes of winning the $100,000 prize. Eric Zhu, Nick Small, Shane Fan and Garret Niconienko claim to have a higher motivation than getting attention. “Sperm racing isn’t just a joke,” they said. “Male fertility is declining. … Nobody’s really talking about it. And sperm motility — how fast your sperm moves — turns out to be a massive factor in fertility.” Applicants must be 18 or older, free of STDs and be available to participate in qualifying rounds and tournaments. Good luck! |
| Amazon has decided to end its long running delivery relationship with the United States Postal Service, marking a major shift in how the retail giant moves packages across the country. The partnership, which dates back roughly three decades, played a key role in helping Amazon scale its fast delivery model while providing USPS with billions of dollars in annual shipping revenue. According to recent reports, the decision comes as USPS continues to face mounting financial strain, including a reported $9.5 billion loss in its most recent fiscal year. Link |
 [Teleporting is Real] “I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was. They said, “That’s not possible. You just left here like a moment ago.”’Gregg Phillips, the head of FEMA’s Office of Response and Recovery, on the conservative podcast “Onward,” telling “his boys” about being teleported. The more “accurate biblical terms are ‘translated’ or ‘transported’ — not new ideas for people of faith,” he said in an X post defending his claim. |
| There’s one American market that may be thankful for these rising gas prices: the EV industry, which is seeing an increase in sales as a result. |
 [Cesar Chavez Fall] It’s “time for Cesar Chavez to fall,” A New York Times investigation last week revealed the revered labor and civil rights icon sexually abused multiple teenage girls for years. In response, California is changing the name of its March 31 holiday from Cesar Chavez Day to Farmworkers Day, while nationwide, namesake removing is everywhere. Streets, parks, and memorials are being rechristened.Perhaps the most famous Latino in U.S. history, Chavez co-founded the United Farm Workers, which fought for higher wages and better working conditions in the 1960s and ’7Os. But behind the heroic public persona, Chavez concealed a dark secret. He molested Ana Murguia, the daughter of a fellow labor activist, for four years, starting when she was 13 and he was 45. He first groped Debra Rojas when she was 12, and raped her at 15. Chavez, who died in 1993, also sexually assaulted UFW co-founder Dolores Huerta, who twice became pregnant and secretly gave the babies away. By finally telling the world the truth after decades of silence, Chavez’s victims now say they can begin a process of healing. |
 The national debt hit a record $39 trillion last week, just five months after crossing the $38 trillion mark. It took the U.S. nearly two centuries to accumulate the first $1 trillion in debt; the Treasury Department now pays that much to service the debt each year. |
| [Shameless Request] The Cuban government last week rejected a request from the U.S. Embassy in Havana to allow it to import diesel fuel for its generators during an island-wide blackout caused by a U.S. oil embargo. The Cuban government called the U.S. “shameless” for demanding the very fuel it denies the Cuban people. Cuba has been struggling to restore power since its national electricity grid collapsed, leaving millions of people in the dark. Since toppling the leader of Venezuela, Cuba’s primary oil supplier, in January, President Trump has blocked all oil deliveries to Cuba and now says he expects to have “the honor of taking” over the Communist-run island soon. Deputy Foreign Minister Carlos Fernández de Cossio said the country was “ready to mobilize” in case of invasion. “We would be naive if we do not prepare.” |
 How come black snakes are all about the same size? I’ve been seeing the snakes in my yard for half a century and they are all about the same size, two to four feet. And all are the diameter of my big finger or thumb. What gives? |
| I’m counting how many times a day I hear ‘AI”. I just woke up and already it’s 2. |
 The Easter Bunny, originally a folkloric figure from Germany, became associated with eggs as a symbol of new life and resurrection. The tradition of an egg-giving hare likely evolved from pre-Christian customs and was popularized in the U.S. by German immigrants in the 18th century. |
| Reality shows are dying out. People realized that they were mostly rehearsed and events re-shot and dialogue added and weren’t spontaneous at all. And people have had enough. Link |
 I know this is sacrilegious, but if someone is dead and then they are alive again, doesn’t that make them a zombie? |
| The American Embassy in Cuba asked the Cuban government if it would allow diesel fuel into Cuba, just enough to run the American Embassy there. It’s the Americans who stopped diesel fuel in the first place with its blockade of the island. |
 [Long Pants] In the 16th century England, it was against the law for woman to wear men’s clothes or even long pants. |
| Is FLKEYSNEWS still in business. They seldom update their website anymore. Link |
 [Queen] Freddy Mercury was from Zanzibar and grew up in England. He had 4 extra incisor teeth that enabled him to sing so high. Watch Bohemian Rhapsody on Netflix. Rami Malek won Best Actor Emmy in 2018 for his role. |
| [Infanticide] A new baby in a stroller was murdered Saturday in a drive-by shooting. But we are so used to senseless murder we barely react or talk about it anymore other than to say “we should do something.” |
 [Deadly Soccer] One person has been killed and dozens more injured at the Alejandro Villanueva Stadium in Lima, Peru, according to the football club Alianza Lima.What evil possesses fans to kill one another. How can fans care so much for a game that they kill each other? I’m not a sports fan nor Amazon I competative, so I am unable to understand the passion that enables a person to die just to go to a game. |
| [Amateur Night In London] The police tasked with guarding the home and person of the Mayor of London left a bag of guns on the sidewalk outside his home. A pregnant passer-by spotted the piece of luggage at the roadside and immediately became suspicious. She took a risk and kicked it to see what it might be – but finding it was unusually heavy, she went home to ask her partner Jordan Griffiths for help. He returned with her to where the bag was and took it home to investigate further, initially thinking its weight might mean it was full of coins. He looked inside, where he found an MP5 semi-automatic Heckler & Koch carbine, a Glock pistol, Taser and bullets. Mr Griffiths laid the guns out on his bed and took a picture of them with his phone before calling the police, who turned up in minutes to collect them. Five police officers have been taken off duty. Link |
 The first Salem witch arrested during the Devil hysteria was Saraha Osborn, a successful tavern keeper of the Ship. She became too successful for a woman and drew attention from the all-men authorities in a highly superstitious and misogynistic society. |
| [Bar bar bar, Bar bara Ann] In ancient Greece anyone who didn’t speak Greek sounded like they were saying bar bar bar, and so the term barbarian developed. The Germanic tribes to the north were considered the epitome of barbaric. |
 A moll was a general nickname in the sixteenth century for a woman of bad reputation. (In the twentieth century a ‘gun moll’ was used to referred to a Chicago gangster’s girlfriend who would carry the gangster’s gun so he wouldn’t get arrested for possession, she would.) |
| [Hospitality Crooks] In Los Angeles and Washington, D.C., my restaurant tabs have included a strange new 10 percent to 15 percent charge. When I inquired if this was a mandatory waiter’s tip, I was informed, no, this was a fee for the benefit of the kitchen staff. When I suggested that maybe it was the owner’s responsibility to see the help is paid a living wage, not mine, a manager was soon summoned, and it was suggested I was being disrespectful. This is similar to hotels’ ‘resort fee’ that most hotels now add-on to your room charge and is just an extra fee, good for nothing. |
 [FEMA Waffle Connection] I don’t think they are needed. All I’ve seen them do is provide water and offer financial aid that they never actually give anyone. They might do other things but this is my experience after 3 major hurricanes. Especially now that FEMA has at its head a nut who swears he transports to other places to get waffles. |
| [Narrow-minded] I know a very conservative guy who was proud that he never left the United States, even once. What a loss for him. I find it interesting, I think because of that, he also has such a small view of everything. His whole world is very small and narrow. |
  The 2026 Aston Martin Valhalla Supercar is truly a super car. All hail the new world’s easiest car to drive fast. Aston Martin’s million-dollar, 1,064-hp hyper supercar is a drama-free rocket ship that leaves you questioning reality. Link |
| [Amazon To Leave Post Office] Analysts estimate that as many as 100,000 jobs could be affected across postal operations, transportation services, and contract delivery. The post office is in trouble, and it lost $9.5 billion last year. Now they’re in big trouble! Amazon accounts for over $6 billion in USPS revenue annually. |
 When distilled spirits were first popularized in the 1500s, they were tested and taxed with a simple “proof” test. If gunpowder that was soaked in the liquid could still be lit, it was considered “proof” that, yes, the liquid was distilled spirits. Any alcohol that passed the test was above proof, and alcohol that didn’t was under proof. There was a higher tax on “proof spirits.” The problem with this basic test is that proof could mean anywhere from 40 to 90% Alcohol by volume (ABV).The United Kingdom didn’t adopt the system of ABV percentages until 1985. The United States adopted the system of alcohol by volume (ABV) percentages in 1980, when it began requiring all spirits to have the alcohol by volume percentage printed on their labels. |
 [Creepy Cats] Did you ever wake up and your cat is staring at you? Creepy. |
| [Teleported] Who Says He Teleported In? Gregg Phillips, who is in charge of responding to fires and floods, says the hand of God suddenly and mysteriously moved him to a 24-hour breakfast spot in Rome, Ga. |
 A comely, blonde Army soldier photographed with President Trump has become a MAGA dream girl, with more than a million Instagram followers—but she’s an AI- generated fake. “Jessica Foster” has been depicted in more than 50 fake photos and videos, walking a tarmac with Trump, beaming next to an F-22 fighter jet, and meeting with Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin. But the Army confirms there is no such soldier. She’s “the apotheosis of what MAGA fantasizes about, all packed into one channel,” said deepfakes researcher Sam Gregory |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 4/7/26 at 7:33 am. |
[UNDER CONTRACT] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. Only 3 houses are on the street and none are across from the home. $550,000.
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