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 [Lighted Boat Parades] One of the Keys’ most popular holiday events returns throughout the Florida Keys this week: lighted boat parades. Each one brings out the community, the creativity, and a very Florida Keys way of celebrating the season!Here’s where to catch them: Duck Key – 12/12 Key Largo – 12/13 Boot Key – 12/13 Key West – 12/13 Key Colony Beach – 12/14 If you’re in the Keys this weekend, don’t miss some of the most festive nights of the year! |
| [Diver died on Vandenberg] USNS Hoyt S. Vandenberg was a former missile tracking ship intentionally sunk in 2009 about seven miles south of Key West as an artificial reef in 140’. Her death is a sad situation. When you’re diving a wreck that deep, the buddy system is everything. Your partner is your lifeline. Losing track of someone at 140 feet is unacceptable. That partner had one job: stay with her buddy and surface together. They failed at the most basic rule of the dive and tragedy followed. Link |
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| [Free Money Granted] United Way of Collier and the Keys (UWCK) is excited to announce the recipients of its 2025-2026 Marine Science Education Grants. A total of $27,978 will be awarded to 12 organizations and schools supporting hands-on marine science and conservation learning experiences for students across Monroe County. The 2025-2026 recipients are: Basilica School, Island Dolphin Care, Key West Preschool Co-op, MarineLab, May Sands Montessori School, Newfound Harbor Marine Institute (NHMI), Ocean Studies Charter School, Poinciana Elementary, REEF, Reef Relief, Reef Renewal, and Sigsbee Charter School. |
 [Bad Skin] Do LED masks work? What the science says. Medical light therapy got its start at NASA. Skin patients donned an LED mask or used similar devices to slow aging and treat acne. And now that technology has trickled down to our homes. Link |
| [Friday Joke, I Think] A pastor asked an older farmer, decked out in bib overalls, to say grace for the morning breakfast. “Lord, I hate buttermilk”, the farmer began. The visiting pastor opened one eye to glance at the farmer and wonder where this was going. The farmer loudly proclaimed, “Lord, I hate lard.” Now the pastor was growing concerned. Without missing a beat, the farmer continued, “And Lord, you know I don’t much care for raw white flour”. The pastor once again opened an eye to glance around the room and saw that he wasn’t the only one to feel uncomfortable. Then the farmer added, “But Lord, when you mix them all together and bake them, I do love warm fresh biscuits. So Lord, when things come up that we don’t like, when life gets hard, when we don’t understand what you’re saying to us, help us to just relax and wait until you are done mixing. It will probably be even better than biscuits. Amen.” |
 [Today’s weather] Remember it’s always colder someplace else. |
| [Speed Paint] Deployed on Boeing 787-9 aircraft starting in January, the coating uses tiny, sharkskin-like grooves called riblets to guide airflow smoothly along the aircraft’s surface. By keeping the air more organized and reducing small pockets of turbulence, the riblets cut aerodynamic drag, which normally wastes energy. That reduction in drag translates directly into better fuel efficiency, lowering operating costs and reducing the plane’s carbon emissions. Overall, this smart surface technology gives the 787 a quieter, cleaner, and more efficient ride without changing the aircraft’s shape or engines. |
 [Psycho Crook] A 57-year-old man in Borgo Virgilio, Italy, dressed up as his mother, Graziella Dall’Oglio, and tried to renew her government ID card so that he could continue to collect her pension. He wore a wig, makeup and her clothing, but authorities were tipped off by the hair on his neck and chin. Inconveniently, the signora passed away in 2022 at age 82. Her son, an unemployed nurse, did not report her death to authorities. When they visited his home, they found his mother’s mummified body in the laundry room closet, wrapped in sleeping bags. An autopsy was ordered, and the son was held in a local jail. |
| The 50 greatest innovations of 2025. The 38th annual Best of What’s New awards. Link |
 Key West map from 1884 |
| [Friday Joke] A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper. The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?” The woman says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says: “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.” Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The woman says: “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?” The Doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick”. |
 Yacht sinks in Key Largo, leaking dozens of gallons of diesel fuel into canal. The boat was fully fueled at the time it sank, and it carries 1,500 gallons of diesel, and it’s going to let go every single bit of it. Link |
| [Fake Food] CRISPR fungus: protein-packed, sustainable, and tastes like meat. Link |
 [Walked Around The World] He set out to walk around the world. After 27 years, his quest is nearly over. Link |
| [Self-Driving] Autonomy Computer and LiDAR on R2. The ACM3 (Autonomy Compute Module 3) autonomy computer will debut on R2 starting at the end of 2026, but Rivian made it clear that R2 will launch initially without LiDAR. What Rivian confirmed today is that LiDAR will be added later in the program. This lines up with what we explored back in May when we spotted early signs that Rivian was evaluating LiDAR as a redundancy and ground truth layer for future autonomy. Rivian has now officially validated that LiDAR is coming to R2 down the road, where it will join cameras and radar to create a richer, more resilient perception stack. Link |
 This is a 3D-printed dobsonian telescope built around a 76mm/300mm parabolic mirror kit. While there are plenty of mini-scope models on the internet, I wanted something that looked like a dobson that went a bit too hard through the clothes dryer, but without compromise on what matters. Link |
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 [Geek Fun] Nokia N900 Necromancy. My friend sent me his old-school classic Nokia N900. The battery is very old, and it does not boot as-is. So naturally, I wanted to see if I can resurrect it. Building a fake battery, adding a USB-C port, booting from SD card, and giving a new life to a classic Linux smartphone. Link |
| [Friday Joke] handsome guy goes to a bar where he spots a beautiful long legged blonde. He picks her up and brings her home where he makes love to her, after ten minutes of fucking he asks her “are you finish?” To which she replies “no”. Determined not to leave his lady companion unsatisfied; he gets on top of her and services her until she moans loudly, he goes for another ten minutes until they are both sweating. “Are you finish?” He asks her. “No” is her answer This time he breathes deeply, slaps himself in the face with both hands and starts giving her the shagging of her life, she moans almost screams, fifteen minutes later they are both covered in sweat and panting heavily, “Are.. you … finish?” He asks her one more time. “No… I’m…. Norwegian” she answers. |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/12/25 at 11.03 am. |