Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays
Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
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[Say No To Sewers] Environmental bullshit and junk science has caused you all to lose the Florida Keys to Environuts and Big Government agencies. Gone are hundreds of good fishermen, their fresh catch and their fishing culture. The near shore waters have never been polluted by nutrients. Nutrients are what plants eat and they supply the only way for biological growth to be possible at all. Who calls nitrates and phosphates pollutants? Only someone who does not know how nature works. Phosphates and nitrates in nature are like 100 dollar bills in the winds – everything grabs to get them. Eutrophication (too much nutrients) can happen to landlocked ponds, canals, borrow pits, and lakes, but not open water surrounding tiny Islands in the middle of two very big bodies of water called the Atlantic and the Gulf.Who was a that judge that knew nothing about the junk science presented as evidence to shove through every phony environmental law? Phony and junk science was pushed down your throats to justify every new rule – new edict – new tax – new payments and fines – new punishments. Without a vote and even without any common sense you must accept the unnecessary billion dollar sewage projects. It was all trumped up (sorry Donald) and not based on any true science.If you could go back in your time machine to the years of meetings and video taped bullshit that came from NOAA and even your own Congressman Deutch, NOAA was publically voted down and out of the Keys, but here they are.
The lies that continue to be repeated, repeated and repeated come from the strategy manuals published by The Nature Conservancy which in itself is also a fake envirogroup. The Nature Conservancy was founded to push Government agenda that takes away your environmental rights and only certain individuals in the Conservancy can build in the mangroves – only certain individuals in Government agencies can tell you what to catch. They make rules that make you stay away from the places that in past generation provided your family’s livelihood or your dinner. Who gave them such power over you ? Did you vote for these rules? Last time I looked we were self Governed people. The hundreds of times that boaters were boarded by Sheriff Defoor’s minions pretending to be protecting the environment, searching boats for holding tanks at midnight., making live-aboards pay to anchor. NOAA has an agenda that they have lied and lied and have done very little to save the holy reef. Do you think that sewage plants and pumps and wells will make a difference – 10 ft from shore – 100 ft from shore? They don’t make a difference. Read the coli form counts from pre sewage and post sewage – – they are still the same. You want to hear fancy words that you don’t understand from some scientist that wants the next Government project grant or who wants 1200 bucks to plant the next piece of staghorn coral stuck on a stepping stone? It is a shame the these big boys have gotten so far. The voices of opposition are few and have mostly burned out. The cries from those who can’t eat fresh caught dolphin or have to put a sewer pipe into a home and shut down a perfectly good septic system go unheard because the bad guys have won the planned takeover of the Florida Keys. Go to this link – read about the fight and the lies. Link |
![]() Today is the last day for the Big Pine Flea Market. Get it while you can! |
They’re baaaaack! Yep, the Lobster Mobsters are back in town by the boat loads. They can be seen crowding the local markets and liquor stores, taking on vital supplies such as buckets of fried chicken, cases of beer, bags of ice to keep all that beer cold)and, of course, a genuine Official Lobster Kit from Winn-Dixie to help them in their quest for the elusive langosta. They can also be seen gassing up at the local filling stations and getting gassed up at the local bars. On the big day, the boat ramp is blocked for an hour while our heroes are loading the beer filled cooler, a bottle of tequila, buckets of chicken, the wife, the kids and the dog. Then the search for the missing boat key begins. After a more or less successful boat launch, (usually accompanied by our Captain yelling directions to his wife while wildly waiving his beer can), she finally manages to back the trailer down the ramp on the fifth attempt and then parks the truck and trailer taking up three parking spaces. Then, off they go for an exciting day on the water anticipating their big Surf and Turf dinners. Weaving down the canal on full plane while chugging his forth beer of the morning and a shot of tequila, they make to a likely spot on the water. Neglecting to bring a Diver Down flag (“What the hell, forget about” our Captain says, “the other boat has one.”)they don their gear and over the side they go with their Official Lobster Kits and the hunt commences. After spotting a pair of antenna under a coral head, they proceed to maul the coral head, killing everything they touch, only to miss the quick and wily little lobster with the net. If they’re lucky they might just end up with a few “keepers” assuming they actually used the Official Lobster Gauge from the Official Lobster Kit. After a few day of the adventure at sea,(and a couple of nasty hangovers), our Captain gets ready to trailer the boat with a repeat of the drunken argument at launch time. Finally they’re ready to hit the road home with one lonely lobster in the cooler to show their friends and neighbors evidence of their successful hunt. With the wife not speaking to our Captain they’re off with four bad sunburns, one brutal hangover, two fighting kids and a dog with projectile diarrhea from eating a bucket of greasy chicken bones. Life returns to peace and quiet on our little Island Paradise and Mother Nature weeps when she sees the destruction the thousands of Lobster Mobsters have caused her glorious creation and tries to begin the healing process before the onslaught again next year, Yeah, there’s nothing quite like Mini-season. |
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Looks like a tower on Cudjoe isn’t flipping over to the nightly red glow – instead the strobe is staying on all night long! Of course, our bedroom window faces the bright white flashes all night long. Does anyone know who to call about it? Maybe I’ll give them a call at 3am |
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What’s up with the pelicans? They’re starting to come back and it’s pretty early (like 2 months). Does anyone know why? I’m not sure there’s any bait fish migration underway |
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[Aldi’s Food Market] I would love to se Aldi’s come to the Keys. It’s the one store I really miss. |
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Wilko Johnson & Roger Daltrey – I Keep It To Myself |
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If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, then talk in your sleep. |
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[To Catch A Thief] Crime Stoppers video from Louisiana, as police try to catch a guy who broke into a restaurant. Video |
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AARP August 2015 Calendar. Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
![]() Use a staple remover to open key rings, not destroy your nails trying to do that. |
[Truer Than Fiction] Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.” Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding. I’m in Congress too. What state do you represent?” |
![]() The American white ibis (Eudocimus albus) is a species of bird in the ibis family, sometimes mistaken immature birds for a separate species, the brown curlew. A juvenile has some of its brown feathers have molted and have been replaced with white feathers. Link |
Wounded Warriors are saving the reef. Video |
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[Deep Wells] The owners of the sewer utility on Stock Island are going after a Florida Keys environmental group and one of its members for $471,438 in legal fees and court costs. The environmental group Last Stand and its board member George Halloran have challenged a Florida Department of Environmental Protection permit for construction of two more shallow injection sewer treatment wells on Stock Island. |
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[Welfare] The Cato Institute upgraded their 1995 study Welfare in America . The new study showed that 33 states are paying welfare recipients more than the minimum wage, 13 states pay more than $15/hr. the biggest offenders–Hawaii $60,590/yr, Washington D.C. $50,820, Mass $50,540, Conn $44,370, NY $43,700, NJ $43,450. the average middle class worker makes $50,000 down from $54,000 in 2007. The average teacher $40,650, average soldier deployed in Afghanistan $38,000. Now let’s look at the politicians that are making this happen. Average Senator/Representative $174,000 for life, Speaker Of The House $223,000/life, major/minor leaders $193,400/life, and let’s not forget their free Gucci-style medical care for life! Can this be rectified? Get serious, the working class is sliding into poverty while the welfare state keeps growing and reelecting their bread and butter, the same old thing, more welfare. Now there are folks that will say the numbers are misleading and don’t represent the facts, as they see them. You make the decision yourself. Every time you stop off at the Winn Dixie after putting in your 8 hours on your crappy job and watch a manicured, and coiffed person peeling off the food stamps before climbing into their new Mercedes. What will you do at the ballot box? keep putting them back in office because the other guy might be a crook? |
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[Pedophilia or Hysteria?] pedaled my bicycle yesterday morning to Fifth Street Baptist church, in Key West, where I thought I would try to speak with the minister about something. When I arrived about 9:30 a.m., I saw on the electronic Marquee out front, that Sunday school classes, adult and children, started at 9:45 a.m. I saw Superintendent of Schools Mark Porter was the guest speaker. I saw no cars and no bicycles in the parking lot. I tried the front door. It was open. I heard music inside, opened the door further and heard really loud music inside. I walked into the nave, and saw two young white women and a black man rehearsing modern Christian songs at a microphone on the stage, or platform, in front of the pews, and a man playing an organ off to the right, who appeared to be the music director because sometimes he offered input to the singers. The singing and organ were really loud. I wondered if I was going to be able to endure the volume?I saw three young children, maybe three years old, down in front in the first pew. They seemed to be doing what children do, play. They had video devices. They seemed to be having a good time. One of the young women singers said something to the children, which appeared sharp, based on the look on her just only recently smiling angelic face and the distorted way her mouth moved. She went back to singing, then she stopped, and climbed down off the platform, and went to the children and jerked the ear pieces, I guessed, and their wires from each child and device. Then she grabbed the child to my left’s arm and stood the child up, raised her dress, and whacked her good a couple of time on the fanny, and turned and walked back up onto the stage, now it really was a stage, and resumed her celestical singing, while the little girl she had spanked turned her head into the pew and held it there a little while.I thought of the time in the Gospels when children were trying to get to Jesus and the disciples held them away from him, and he told his disciples to let the children through to him, for of such was the Kingdom of God made. I thought about going up to the front and saying just that to the woman and her singing companions, who seemed to be taking it all in stride. I thought what I really wanted to do was go up to the front and grab the angelic woman by the hair and drag her out of the church and drop her into the gutter out front. But instead, I got up and walked out into the front foyer to see if the minister might be there. No. I went back inside the nave, the music had stopped, and I saw Mark Porter speaking with the black singer. I walked over and said hello to Mark, who introduced me to the singer. Mark had not been in the nave when what I described above happened.
I asked Mark about the minister. Mark said he was away at vacation bible school, this was his third week there, and he will be back at the church sometime this week. I said I’d had a couple of dreams about the minister, and that’s why I came to the church. I wrote my name and phone number on the daily program and gave that to Mark, who said he would give it to the minister. I left the church, glad to be away from it, thinking what I had just witnessed in an of itself caused me not to think any child should be in that church, regardless of Jeremy Jerome had told me about pedophilia going on there. I could not imagine Mark Porter being involved with a church, if he knew pedophilia was going on there. Nor could could I imagine a career educator being involved with a church were I saw what went on between that young women and those three kids, if he knew it was going on. Mark does not allow his teachers to discipline their students in that way, but it’s okay in church for that to happen, because it’s a church? ~Sloan |
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Are we being made to buy new software and hardware because the manufacturers want us to buy their new crap that makes our old crap not work anymore? |
![]() -Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern U.S. crops and livestock. -Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. -Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. -France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! -Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. -George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060. -Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. -85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. -Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. -Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States. -Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. -A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches. |
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also I don’t drink coffee. |
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This crazy tree grows 40 kinds of fruit. Video |
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I would like to list Team Trible in the Real Estate section of the local Business Directory website. We are with Coldwell Banker Schmidt, and our phone number is 305-393-7209. Business Directory > Real Estate. |
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[Lobster Mini Season] Ugh! I went boating Tuesday and wish I hadn’t. The Lobster Mobsters were clogging the boat ramp and arguing over who’s next. Once I got out on the water a boat cut right in front of me while he was crossing the channel. At the reef all the mooring buoys had at least two boats tied to them. |
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[Currents] A man diving was carried away from the boat by the current and died of Boca Chica Tuesday. Too many people don’t pay attention to the current and can’t get back to the boat. |
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[Religion of Peace] A 23-year-old Stock Island man, Harlem Suarez, who claimed to be a member of the Islamic State terror network planned on detonating a nail-filled backpack bomb on a Key West beach and hoped to bring a fundamentalist holy war to the Florida Keys, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He’s in jail. “Be a warrior, learn how to cut your enemies head and then burn down the body,” Suarez wrote on Facebook. He also discussed creating a car bomb, targeting police officers by placing bombs underneath police vehicles and possibly targeting hotels, according to the complaint. “One day I will cook Americans … in cages … flaming,”His lawyer said, “He comes from a very good, hard-working family that arrived here from Cuba. in 2004 because they yearned for freedom. They raised their son to love this country,” Uh, ha. |
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When you buy a George Foreman Grill how do you know if it’s the dad’s or one of the kids? Yes I’ll hold. |
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[“Eden Pines canal cleanup”] Everyone keeps talking about a petition. As an Eden Pines canal property owner, I haven’t seen it. Is this another fib being spread? If not, who or whomever has started this ‘petition’ doesn’t seem to know the county has contact info for every property owner, or they really don’t know how to petition. |
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[Do Owners Get Compensation for Easement?] Easements provide a legal mechanism to use land for a specific purpose without having to buy the property. Instead of buying numerous tracts of land to install a new sewer system, a city purchases easements across various landowners. While the current owners receive compensation, in most cases future owners of the easement will not receive payment. To receive compensation for an easement, the owner usually must be the one who initially grants the easement. Link |
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AT&T is offering a complete package with TV, Web, Cell for around $86 to new clients, but I pay over $276 for the same crap! How can I get a better price? Do I have to close my account and start over? (Ed: Comcast has the same package for $157.44 with no premium channels and 75 mbps speed.) |
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Do not throw away your old computer if you have old hardware that will not run on Windows 7 or 10, because they do not have the right drivers for those new operating systems. |
We just bought a foreclosure and were wondering what your deer readers would do first with a home which has been closed for six years. Our first instinct is to remove all carpets and pads and eliminate mold mildew before turning on the AC. Will code nazis hurt me if I bring my hard-drinking-ex-hubby down to help? He ain’t no stinkin’ contractor, just a drunk with handyman skills who still looks like Don Johnson. The girls at the Tiki Bar are going to love him–better them than me! See you soon BPK |
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[Lobster Mini-Season] It looks like near ideal weather for lobster mini-season. Good luck hunters and please respect the resource and the reef! |
The 50 states of America if they were actually people in a bar. California is perfect. Link |
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[Gated Communities] I don’t know, but every time I read the News-Barometer and Citizen, I’m not hearing about finding a band of druggies or thieves operating out of the Key West golf course, Truman Annex, etc. I think the development to date is quite tasteful and authentic, but not cheap, and those residents are quite a step up from what’s found in many other semi-blighted areas of the Keys. Of course, there needs to be a discussion on affordable housing (not a trailer park discussion). The Keys aren’t what they used to be, but neither is the world |
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Keep it simple, do the tests, then lets start cleaning up the mess we’re making today. |
[Ramrod Key Fire] It’s so great to see 375 donors putting up nearly $36k for the surviving kids. This is a great example of the community pulling together to help those truly less fortunate. You can add to the effort at the Shores/Ferrer Family Fund |
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It looks like the bubble house is slowly being worked on on Cudjoe Key. This is just what the Keys needed, a place for tourists to laugh their faces off looking at an abortion some nitwit architect designed in his sleep or was that on a hangover? |
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If you do not like to stand behind our men and women in the military, try standing in front of them! |
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[Today’s Advice] If you’re lonely, tired, hurt, hungry, horny or sick go to your neighborhood bar for the afternoon. |
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Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com |