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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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 [Bad Link] (Editor: Few things are more irritating than a link that doesn’t work. The Contact Us links on some pages didn’t work because I changed the contact form (that didn’t work either) to one that worked. But I missed changing some of the links on the different pages. I’ve gone through the links, but if anyone finds a link that doesn’t work would you please email me what page it is on so I can update it. Here’s the link—I sure hope it works for you.) Contact Us |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom Speaks Out about Civilization in 2023] Phones – Wireless Cooking – Fireless Cars – Keyless Food – Fatless Tires -Tubeless Dress – Sleeveless Youth – Jobless Leaders – Shameless Relationships – Meaningless Attitudes – Careless Babies – Fatherless Feelings – Heartless Education – Valueless Children – Mannerless People – Speechless Government- Clueless Politicians- Worthless Criminals – Heartless Bankers – Trustless Farmers – Hopeless Workers – Useless Merchants – Dishones Police – Defenseless |
 How to keep your brain sharp in your 50s and beyond – as study finds pandemic had ‘lasting impact’ on cognitive function. I think this is true, but I can’t remember what I was like before the bug, so there! Sex is better though. Link |
| [Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce] Fantasy Fest is in the rearview mirror and the holidays are rapidly approaching. That was the unofficial beginning of ‘season’. Many members enjoyed an uptick in business at the end of October, and now retailers are looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. As the Snowbirds begin to return, the cash registers start to light up again. If you have anything else that needs to be done before the full season arrives, now is the time to do it. The Chamber has 2 events coming up, on November 25th we will have our Island Art Festival here on the Chamber grounds. It’s a great event to find unique items for your Holiday shopping list. On December 6th we are looking forward to our Holiday Gala. This year it will be at Roostica on Stock Island and it’s shaping up to be a grand night. While I am writing this, we have already sold 45 tickets out of the 100 that we have available. You can get yours online or you can call Bill during business hours at 305 872 2411. I hope to see you there. Link |
Marine Corps 248th Ball cancelled. |
| George Orwell’s final warning: Imagine a boot stamping on a human face. Video |
 [Waste Of Time] Why do men politicians spend so much time and effort against gay people, drag shows and abortion? Do they think they’ll go away or become straight? Stopping abortions is unrealistic. All it does is move those things to private places. They’ll be drag shows in people’s basements. You can’t stop people from having a good time just because you don’t like them or they affront your religious beliefs. Abortions will move back in the alley or in other seedy locations. Why don’t politicians spend the time and effort moving the country forward instead of on things that personally offend them? You can’t legislate morality. Don’t they know that? Maybe the opposing politicians should be made to raise the unwanted child that they forced to be born. |
[Car Paint] A new blue paint color for cars uses nano-pigments to boost its intensity. Way more goes into picking a vehicle’s paint color than you might imagine. Link |
| [“Medicare open enrollment”] Open enrollment is really for those already on medicare that want to switch their Part D or between an Advantage Plan or Original Medicare. If this is your first time on medicare outside of open enrollment you can sign up 3 months before you are eligible. So if you are turning 65 you are eligible on the first of the month in which you turn 65 so 3 months before that. You can switch between Medicare Supplements anytime during the year. It is wise to make it effective January 1 though so you only have one deductible for the year. For those of you on Medicare always check your part D for next year. It’s a fallacy if you like the plan you’re on you don’t need to do anything. You need to look to see what has changed for next year whether it’s premiums, preferred vs standard pharmacies and the drug formulary. Always log into Medicare and check it out during open enrollment to see if you want to stay on your current part D prescription drug plan (PDP). |
 [Counterfeit Thermacell Mosquito Repeller] At Amazon, customer trust is our top priority. We recently learned the product you received from a third-party seller is likely not an authentic Thermacell product. If you still have this product, we recommend that you stop using it immediately and dispose of the item. There’s no need for you to return the product. We’ve issued a refund of $30.52 to your original payment method. Amazon has zero tolerance for counterfeit products. As a result, we’ve taken action against the supplier of this product and removed their ability to supply products for sale in Amazon’s stores. |
| I pulled out a nose hair this morning to see if it hurt. Judging by my sleeping wife’s reaction it was very painful! |
 [Proofread Before Publishing] ‘firsthand’ should be one word in this headline. |
| [TDC Crooks] A report from Monroe County’s top auditor this week found numerous examples of financial mismanagement, possible double billing by a contractor using a nonexistent company and “potential self-dealing” by some staff of the Florida Keys agency that’s funded by tens of millions of tourism tax dollars. Link |
Japan begins releasing 3rd batch of treated radioactive water from Fukushima plant. 3rd stage of release will continue until Nov. 20. Link |
| King tide floods offer glimpse of Miami’s soggy, salty future. Can anything be done? Video |
Asia’s first Gay Games to kick off in Hong Kong, fostering hopes for wider LGBTQ+ inclusion. “Stop the games, I broke a nail!” Link |
| [Down With Texting] Adults who are sitting in their recliner text me, as opposed to calling me with the same phone and having a conversation, have psychiatric issues. They must want to feel that they are teenagers still, even though they are grandparents. Grrrrrrrrrrr! |
 Now that M&M auto repair service has been closed for a couple of months, where do the local residents take their vehicles for serious repairs, not just oil change or tires. We’re having problems and can’t get an appointment with Niles in KW until the 2d week in November. Would appreciate any suggestions. |
| [Guns] How a new Florida law for carrying guns has affected firearm safety classes. Link |
[Atheists] Finally there’s a hat for atheists! |
| [Jazz] Ron Carter, jazz’s most prolific bassist: ‘Our band was a laboratory – and Miles Davis was head chemist’. Link |
 November is the windiest month in Florida historically. But it should let up by Saturday. National Weather Service is calling a “near gale.” Frequent gusts are blowing consistently between 25 and 35 mph, and a “land advisory” has been issued for areas farther inland. The wind has created some hazardous beach and offshore conditions. |
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 [Cinnamon Bun Line] Why is it such a big deal about Knaus Berry Farm reopening every fall in South Dade Co. that it somehow gets featured on TV news year after year after year? I saw that ABC and NBC ran the story; there was even footage of a news helicopter above! Just because a bunch of people with little else to do line up and wait for hours to buy cinnamon buns? |
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| [Friday Joke] One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference. On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him: “I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!” The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.” “That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!” So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it. But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response. The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says: “Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.” |
If Vikings had cellphones. |
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 [Veterans Day Ceremony] United States Coast Guard Honor Guard, Upper Keys Community Band, montage of brilliantly produced tribute videos, student keynote speaker and Purple Heart guest speaker. A picnic will follow directly behind the Government Center at Peace Park on Key Largo’s beautiful bay. Free food donated by the American Legion 145, American Legion 333 and Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 10211 will be available. Please join us in honoring America’s veterans. |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/3/23 at 9:10 am. |