The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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| [Good Grief, Realtors] I contacted a realtor last Thursday to sell a property. He said he would “accept” the listing and call me the next day to list, etc. He didn’t call until Saturday and said, “Oh, I’m sick”. And no call at all after that. I called another realtor Sunday. He states, “Great, I’ll drive by and look it over.” Still no call Sunday or Monday. The property is valued at over 1 million dollars. Both realtors are over 45 years old salespeople, not “entitled” young folks. Screw them both, Zillow will do it, and cheaper. |
 [Seeking Singers For Community Christmas Concert] The Lower Keys Community Choir invites all singers to be a part of the Christmas Celebration Concert to feature a collection of seasonal music and lessons. Rehearsals begin on October 22 on Big Pine Key. The concerts will be presented December 5 at the Big Pine United Methodist Church, Big Pine Key; December 6 at San Pablo Catholic Church, Marathon; and December 7 at Venture Out, Cudjoe Key. All concerts are free to the public and are presently in partnership with the Keys Chamber Orchestra. The orchestra also has limited positions open for experienced orchestral musicians. For more information on the choir and orchestra. keyschamberorchestra@gmail.com |
| Advertising is seeping into everything. Places you never dreamed of seeing an ad now have them. It’s so distracting and pervasive it’s alarming. Online recipes are the worst. They are so bad it’s often hard to find the ingredients. |
Roy Rogers was the first rhinestone cowboy. |
| [Phishing Scam] This is to officially notify you that your name was shortlisted under the World Bank scam victim’s rehabilitation scheme and you have been listed and approved to receive payment of USD $25,000,000.00 As one of the scammed victim’s compensation funds. with the European Commission of London United Kingdom/ Affiliated to World bank has directed to credit your bank account in your country, it is the only European Commission that have been instructed to transfer your fund to your Bank account…blab la bla Therefore, be strictly advised to re-confirm to us your banking information below to enable us cross check and ensure you are the rightful beneficiary and the fund will be transfer to you after verification process. Your Full Name: Full Address: Telephone Number: Sex and Age: Nature of Work (Occupation) A copy of passport: Bank name: Account Number: Swift Code: We await your urgent response. |
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| In my day we spent $6.50 On a Grateful Dead ticket and we still had money left for LSD, booze, weed and Mickey D’s. |
 [Libraries] I offered to buy a coffee maker and all the trimmings for the library but was told that it would be too much work for the librarians to maintain it. If you go in there, you’ll see two librarians sitting at the desk doing nothing but smiling. With the popularity of eBooks, libraries are trying to get people to go there and are coming up with new ideas. I think coffee would be a good idea. |
| [Movies] In the movies when the actors receive a shock or ghastly surprise, they drop whatever they are holding, be it a glass or tray. Real people don’t do that. They quickly set the item down then freak out. They also don’t scream at the top of their lungs. |
 [Worst Chess Champ Ever] I’ve never been a good chess player. I’m actually pretty bad and I don’t enjoy playing. My husband, Orv enjoyed chess and when we lived in Lake Ozark, MO there were 2 young boys who used to come over and play with him. The older boy, about 12, was very good. Orv bragged what a good player I was (because I always won our games). So finally, they set up a match between (reluctant) me and the 12 year-old. I won the game.From then on, I was the Chess Champ of Lake Ozark and I never had to play again. |
| [Brotherly Love Okay] Pope Francis suggests gay couples could be blessed in Vatican reversal. Conservative cardinals had challenged the pope to confirm teachings on LGBTQ+ issues. Link |
 Americans spent some $30 billion on legal marijuana last year. By comparison. $28 billion was spent on craft beer, $20 billion on chocolate, and $7 billion on ice cream. |
| [Sleep Tight, Don’t Let The Bedbugs Bite] Paris is battling an infestation of bloodsucking bedbugs on trains and in movie theaters as the city gets ready to host the 2024 Olympics. Link |
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 Psychiatry never helped anyone. It’s only the drugs they prescribe that ever makes a difference. |
| [TV Ads] “There is a strict limit on how many you can order.” Are they kidding? Place an order for a hundred and they ‘ll send them all. Jerks. |
 [Blow Dry] We applaud the efforts of the Spanky Bottoms Gentlemen’s Club for thinking about the environment during their recent remodel. Maybe this will be a spark to get other businesses to get on board. |
| The Nobel Prize in Physics 2023 was awarded to Pierre Agostini, Ferenc Krausz and Anne L’Huillier “for experimental methods that generate attosecond pulses of light for the study of electron dynamics in matter” [whatever that means]. Link |
 [Working For You] The photographer who took this photo at a climate change conference in Paris should be given an award for the funniest photo of the year. |
| [Emergency Alert Test] The two nationwide systems — the Emergency Alert System, or EAS, and Wireless Emergency Alerts, or WEA — are critical tools that save lives and allow people to protect property when natural disasters, acts of terrorism and other threats to public safety strike. The process involves two parts: a 30-minute signal sent to radios and televisions as part of EAS, and a similar one sent to all consumer cell phones as part of the WEA system. Federal law requires the systems be tested at least once every three years. The last nationwide test was Aug. 11, 2021. The audio signal used for the tests utilizes the same combination of tones familiar to Americans since 1963, when President John F. Kennedy established the original Emergency Broadcast System through an executive order. It’s also the same tone that more than 1,700 local, state, territorial and tribal authorities use to send similar alerts for more localized emergencies. |
 [Wanted Fiberglass Repair] Is there anybody good in Big Pine that can re-deck a fiberglass boat? ~keysgram@hotmail.com |
| Wegovy, other weight-loss drugs scrutinized over reports of suicidal thoughts. Link |
 [Cat Lovers] Purring, parasites and pure love: what exactly makes someone a cat person? Devoted to cats, but not entirely sure why? Here are the qualities in felines – and in you – that help explain it. Link |
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 [Shipwrecks] For the first time, the National Park Service has begun documenting deep water shipwrecks and artifacts in remote Dry Tortugas National Park. Video |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 10/3/23 at 7:06 am. |