Category: July

bigpinekey.com’s

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Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)

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Dear Commissioners, I’m writing to strongly oppose the proposed amendment to Section 6-112 of the Monroe County Code that would limit temporary use permits—specifically impacting food trucks in unincorporated Monroe County. Food trucks are a vital part of our local economy, especially in Marathon. They serve both residents and tourists, create jobs, and offer affordable dining options in a high-cost area. For many, they are the first step toward owning a brick-and-mortar business. Restricting them to just six months of operation threatens livelihoods, reduces food options, and discourages small business growth in the Keys. Please vote NO on Agenda Item S6. Let’s support local entrepreneurs, not shut them down.

[Friday Joke] “You know, I’ve had a good morning. My wife apologized to me for the first time ever.” “Is that right?” “Yeah, she said she was sorry she ever met me, but I’m taking it as an apology.”

[Failed to Protect the President] 6 Secret Service agents were suspended for security failures at Butler, PA rally. A Senate report found “multiple foreseeable and preventable failures” contributed to the shooting, including unclear responsibilities, insufficient coordination with local law enforcement. Link

“There is no God, child. There’s religion but there’s no God. Their religion tells that we will get our reward in the end.”  ~James by Percival Everett

[Free Tech Support] Sat July 12, 10:30am., Community Center. WD plaza. Enjoy some time indoors without mosquitoes! Bring your device and passwords.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] The local sense of humor is tough here in the Florida Keys. A typical husband to wife question would be: “Dear, who have you been sleeping with?” In the Keys it’s, “Hey, bitch, who haven’t you banged yet?”

[What’s For Dinner?] Crew of ill-fated Franklin Expedition cannibalized their commander, archeologists prove. The HMS Terror and HMS Erebus were encased in ice near the Arctic Circle for years. Link

[Political Ideologies 101] A 12-Minute Guide. From liberalism and conservatism to socialism, anarchism, and fascism this video breaks down all major political ideologies in just 12 minutes. Clear, concise, and unbiased, it’s your crash course in understanding the core beliefs that shape global politics. Video

[No White Crown Pigeons] They are usually here in late June, but it’s July and they still aren’t here. I only saw one on June 30th, and none since.

[Friday Joke] A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!” The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”

[Captain Doom and Gloom] I just looked at every car that is made in 2025 and for 2026. The best one is a 20 ton Mack dump truck with a roll cage and chrome bumpers. All the new cars are almost identical except for the front end or being gas or electric. I will bet by 2026 or later, all people cars are nothing but dildo designed self-abusers. Time to buy an old Harley with a convertible side car, I think.  Ha! Of course, if I won the lottery–Rolls or Bentley.

[“Uncle ran Bay Point Inn”] The Bay Point Inn was at mile marker 15 on US1, halfway between Key West and Big Pine Key. It was ground level, built before building codes required everything to be on stilts. They had a long bar made out of an old wooden hull cut in two along the keel—very cool. They had good food too. There were sliding glass doors instead of real doors, which were annoying. One door went out, one end to the very shallow water of Lower Sugarloaf Sound and the other to the gravel parking lot and another across from it. It was a really good bar but located too far from Key West and Big Pine to drive home drunk so it didn’t do the business it would have if it was closer to either place. It was in the middle of nowhere. There were a few houses and trailers behind it, but not enough people to support a bar and restaurant. I think at one time it was called Pier 15 or something and they had a trough filled with dirt you could ‘mine’ for treasure with a barbecue next to it. After one hurricane, they tore it down instead of just repairing it and it went broke due to the high cost of the new building and remained empty until recently when a construction company bought it for their business. What a waste of a good bar.

[Healthy Butts] The one move your butt needs after 40 (climbing up and down on bar stools is not the same). Video

[The Golden Age of Air Travel?] On June 26 a woman aboard Aeroflot flight SU734 from St. Petersburg, Russia, to Egypt finally had to be restrained after she launched into a tantrum about not being upgraded to business class. The woman screamed at flight attendants that she had “pain in my butt” and needed business class “because I was working.” She then threatened to open the emergency exit and began to remove her shirt, presumably hoping that would help her cause, but no: Some burly passengers moved her to the back of the plane, where she was restrained until Egyptian authorities took her off after landing.

[Contrails] Why airplanes leave white streaks in the sky. Contrails are a problem, but not how you might think. Link

[Key West to Cuba] Texas man rented a boat in Key West — then he took it to Cuba. He has a conviction for doing the same thing in 2019. Link

[First Mac Computer] From the Mac to the mystical: Bill Atkinson’s psychedelic user interface. How an Apple legend approached the world’s most powerful psychedelic as a user-experience problem to be solved. Link

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[The ChompSaw] A benchtop power tool that’s safe for kids to use. Cuts curves, can’t cut fingers. Video

[Tech Giants Vs The Law] If you haven’t heard of it before, the DMA stands for the Digital Markets Act, an EU law which designates certain products as gatekeepers – based on end and business user count and importance, who need to interoperate with their competitors. So, for example, an operating system which meets the criteria, such as iOS, Android or Windows, needs to provide equivalent access to software and hardware features to third-parties as they give to their own products. Gatekeepers can’t self-preference and so can’t act anti-competitively. More

Evolution can explain human testicle size but not our unique chins. The human body is quite puzzling. Link

[Friday Joke] A guy said to God, “God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?” God said yes. The guy said, “God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?” God said yes. The guy said, “God, can I have a penny?” God said, “Sure, just a second.”

The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/11/25 at 8:11 am.

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REDUCED $500 every 2 weeks 2012  21’6” Key West Bay Reef 2015 250HP Suzuki DF250APX (321 hours) 25’ Continental tandem trailer rebuilt with new tandem axels, running lights, brake lights in 2024. https://www.boattrader.com/myboats/tab/boatsForSale/