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Published on Tuesdays and Fridays.
(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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| [Friday Joke] Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim. After sizing Jim up and deciding he can trust him, Carl shares his grand plan to escape. “You see,” Carl begins, “for the first five years I was in here, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now, I can eat something, and it comes out broken down into its components.” Jim looks skeptical but intrigued. Carl continues, “For the last five years, I’ve been swallowing pieces of my uniform. It’s perfect because the guards just think it’s rats chewing on it.” Confused but curious, Jim asks, “Well, what does that have to do with me? How can I help?” Carl explains, “The pieces of fabric come out as individual fibers. By this time next year, I figure we’ll have enough to fashion a rope to climb over the wall. I just need you to tie the fibers together.” Jim, thoroughly disgusted, exclaims, “You have got to be kidding me!” Carl grins and replies, “I s**t. You knot.” |
 I’m a healthy eater, but once a year I eat a couple of hotdogs. This year I totally forgot about my yearly splurge and didn’t buy the frankfurters or buns. I guess it’s leaves and twigs for supper again. |
| [Rain is Coming] South Florida is in for a wet weekend as tropical system chances rise. Florida is in for a wet weekend as the chances that a tropical system will develop continue to climb. The National Hurricane Center raised the likelihood of development for a potential system near the northeast coast of Florida to 60% in the next seven days — up from 40% the day before — and gave the system a 30% chance of strengthening in the next day or two. Link |
 [No More Fluoride] On June 30th, 2025 @ 5:00PM EST the iast remaining water plants in the state of Florida turned the fluoride off for good. Historic day. Time to see your dentist. |
| [Planned Obsolesce] Our 2009 Toyota Camry 4-door brake lights stay on because either the brake switch or something else is worn out. I called Toyota Service in Key West and was told they don’t work on any Toyotas that are older than 2010! I said, “But you are the dealer we bought it from.” They told me they no longer have the tools and equipment to service our car. I now have a 2009 Camry sitting under my house that is dead meat. |
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| [Friday Joke] A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees the dog from a distance and cautiously thinks, “Hmm, this guy looks edible. Never seen his kind before.” The lion starts rushing toward the dog menacingly. The dog notices and begins to panic, but just as he’s about to run, he spots some bones nearby. Thinking quickly, the dog loudly exclaims, “Mmm… that was some good lion meat!” Hearing this, the lion abruptly stops in his tracks and thinks, “Whoa! This guy seems tougher than he looks. I better leave while I still can.” The lion retreats cautiously. Up in the treetops, a monkey witnesses the entire scene. Realizing he could gain favor with the lion, the monkey decides to spill the truth. He swings down and tells the lion what really happened. Furious, the lion growls, “Get on my back! We’ll deal with him together!” The lion and monkey rush back toward the dog. Spotting them, the dog panics again but quickly comes up with another idea. He shouts loudly, “Where the hell is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!” |
 [HMS Endeavour] Archaeologists have confirmed the shipwreck of captain cook’s long-lost Endeavour. Though controversy erupted when a shipwreck was declared to be the HMS Endeavour back in 2022, a new published report officially confirms it to be. Link |
| [Crappy Food] Restaurant dishes chefs always avoid—and you should too. Link |
 [“Boat for sale”] So basically, if my math is correct, all I have to do is wait about two years and I can get this boat for free. Sign me up. |
| Allergic to cats? Chickens could help. Plus other weird things we learned this week. Link |
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| [Independence Day Trivia] 1 Where was the first celebration of Independence Day held? 2. Every Independence Day, how many times does the Liberty Bell ring? 3. What was the name of the newspaper that published the Declaration of Independence? 4. The Fourth of July commemorates which document? 5 What is the proper way to fold the American flag? 6. Which American president was born on July 4th?7 Which president of the United States was the first to host a Fourth of July celebration at the White House? 8. How many stars and stripes does the US. flag have? 9 What is the location of the nation’s oldest Fourth of July parade? 10. What was the total number of people who signed the Declaration of Independence? Answers: 1 Philadelphia in 1777 2 13 3 The Pennsylvania Evening Post 4 The Declaration of Independence 5 In a triangular shape, with specific ritual and etiquette 6 Calvin Coolidge, born on July 4, 1872 7 Thomas Jefferson in 1801 8 50 Stars and 13 Stripes 9 Bristol, Rhode Island 10 56 |
 [Tumor] Doctors removed a massive cancerous tumor the size of a young child from a man’s leg. Mohd Salman, a 27-year-old from India, was diagnosed in 2019 with chondrosarcoma, a slow-growing cancer that forms in connective tissue protecting the bones. For more than five years, the tumor in his leg grew slowly without pain. However, within the last six months, Salman’s tumor ballooned in size to 76.5 pounds (34.7 kilograms), measuring four by two feet long – roughly the same weight as an eight-year-old child. Link |
 Do we need our tonsils? Science is slowly revealing more about the misunderstood organs. Link |
| Trends baby boomers just refuse to accept. Link |
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| Diogo Jota, the Liverpool soccer star, tragically died in a car crash on July 3, 2025, while traveling from Portugal to Spain. He was advised by doctors not to fly after surgery, leading him to take a long drive, during which his Lamborghini crashed and caught fire. A lot of people think buying a race car makes them a race car driver. Same with boats. Fools buy gofast boats and don’t know how to drive them and crash. |
 A brick of cocaine was found washed up on shore in the Florida Keys Wednesday, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said. The package, with a photograph of a masked gladiator on the wrapping, was found after 8 p.m. near mile marker 79.5 in Upper Matecumbe Key, according to the sheriff’s office. Bricks of cocaine and bales of marijuana are commonly found on shore in the Keys or floating in the ocean and Gulf of Mexico. They are parts of loads lost along smuggling routes. |
| Killer whales groom each other—with pieces of kelp. In a newly discovered form of social tool use, orcas scratch each other’s backs with seaweed. Video |
 It’s Independence Day in the US, the 249th anniversary of the day in 1776 when the Founding Fathers signed The Declaration of Independence and established The United States as an independent nation, free from British rule.
Since July 4, 1776, the US has grown from 13 colonies with 2.5 million people to 50 states and 14 territories with over 342 million people connected by roughly 5,000 airports, 4 million miles of roads, 140,000 miles of train tracks, and 5.5 million miles of power lines. The economy has prospered to nearly $30T. Public health advances have dwindled the child mortality rate to under 1%, and Americans live over three decades longer on average. Meanwhile, homegrown scientific achievements have delivered everything from the light bulb and modern flight to the internet and air conditioning. We’ve also sent over 300 citizen astronauts to space—the most of any country. Since last Independence Day, an American infant was successfully treated with a novel gene-editing technique, computers are becoming exponentially faster problem solvers, and the James Webb Telescope photographed its first new planet. |
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| [The Worst Cruise I’ve Ever Taken] I took a cruise rated 2.9/5 stars on Cruise Critic, making it the ‘WORST’ cruise I’ve ever taken. But was it really? In this video, I share my experience and insights from this trip. Video |
 [Wind Knitting Factory] This is a wind powered knitting machine that is attached to the facade of a building. The blades embrace more than a meter in diameter, and the wind that is cached by the mill drives the machine. Like that a long scarf gets knitted along the building downward. When it is windy the machine knits fast and with less wind the machine knits slowly. Video |
| [Friday Joke] A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.” The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you kill yourself.” The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?” The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d kill the guy.” The man jumps up from his stool and shouts “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar. A couple of hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face. “Did you kill the guy?” The bartender asks nervously. “Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please.” |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/4/25 at 8:49 am. |
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  REDUCED $500 every 2 weeks2012 21’6” Key West Bay Reef 2015 250HP Suzuki DF250APX (321 hours) 25’ Continental tandem trailer rebuilt with new tandem axels, running lights, brake lights in 2024. https://www.boattrader.com/myboats/tab/boatsForSale/ |