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 [Wounded Warrior Ride] The Coconut Telegraph support added a great incentive for our extended communities to gather and greet our Wounded Warrior bicyclists as they disembarked from their bus in front of our VFW Post 10211’s remodeled restaurant “The Armory Speakeasy Restaurant” on January 9, 2026.
This group of injured and disabled warriors were embraced by an absolutely thunderous welcome, as they made their way into the restaurant to partake of the sumptuous breakfast offerings that had been generously prepared for them by the restaurant’s manager Janessa Silvestri and her remarkable family and staff; a beautiful and pleasant setting was created for everyone. For 21 consecutive years this therapeutic event, under the auspicious leadership of State Attorney/VFW Commander Dennis Ward, County Veterans Affairs Director Cathy Crane and our extraordinarily skilled Sheriff Rick Ramsay; have safely maintained and preserved this transformative experience for our Veterans. The Sherriff’s Departments specialized motorcycle brigade was again without flaw, as they protected and safeguarded these injured cyclists on their ride through the Keys. Along with the Coconut Telegraph’s commitment to generate an increased awareness concerning the need and value of programs which are geared towards the successful re-entry of combat troops back into civilian life; organizations and events such as the Wounded Warriors Soldier’s Ride have been birthed and flourish because of the support they’ve received from your readers. This collective partnership has resulted in decreasing Veteran suicide rates by approximately 18%. The excitement and gratitude emanating from the locals, Coral Shores High School students, Plantation Keys students, along with their administrators, teachers and staff; towards these injured members of our Armed Forces at their first rest stop, in front of Coral Shores High School, was spectacular beyond belief. The Islamorada, Tavernier and Key Largo Fire/Rescue Departments, along with our Florida Keys Elective Cooperative and Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority; were all amazing in coordinating a magnificent tribute to these Purple Heart and Disabled Veterans. Always at the ready, American Legion Islamorada Post 145 had their exhilarating military vehicle available for display and for our students to explore.During their ride South on US1 towards Key West, these riders were respectfully and enthusiastically greeted by clusters of heartfelt well-wishers seeking to convey their sincerest appreciation for the sacrifices they’ve made on behalf of our nation. Let’s never forget them and the sacrifices they made and have to live with every day. Thank you so very, very much. Sincerely, John Donnelly |
 Circa 1965 map of Big Pine Key – showing Big Pine Glassworks. Unfortunately, it’s too small to read |
| Altered Realty is my new real estate company. I zap the customer with psychedelics then I can talk him into buying anything or tell him the cracked foundation is an ‘architectural detail’. |
 [Greek To Me] Shakespeare wrote in The Tempest of a great storm at sea and a shipwreck in the Sargasso Sea.
“Full fathom five thy father lies: Of his bones are coral made; And those are pearls that were his eyes: Nothing of him that doth fade, But doth suffer a sea-change.” What the hell does that mean? I thought that when I got old I’d understand Shakespeare and classical music. Now I’m old and I still can’t make heads or tails out of the bard. |
| [Friday Joke] A guy goes into a company for a job interview. The interviewer asks him, “What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?” The guy thinks for a minute and says, “I’m honest with everyone. I don’t know how to be anything other than completely honest, no matter what someone asks me.” The interviewer says, “I don’t really see how honesty could be considered a weakness. In fact, I think it’s a great strength!” The guy looks the interviewer right in the eye and says, “I don’t really care what you think.” |
| [Architecture Primer] Steps are always outside. Stairs are always inside. |
 [Panic of 1857] Wall Street was hoping to avoid a Depression after making terrible investments with terrible risk that all went terribly wrong. Wall St needed gold desperately! They all watched and waited for the gold ship to arrive. The side-wheel steamer SS Central America went down in a hurricane off the Carolina coast carrying 30,000 pounds of gold from the California prospectors sank taking the gold and 425 people with it. (this Depression ended in late 1940s.) The wreck lay undisturbed for over a century until 1988, when a privately backed expedition located it at great depth and began recovering bars, coins, and artifacts. |
| Missouri compromise of 1920 added Missouri as slave state and Maine as a slave free state. |
 6,000 protesters killed by their government in Iran. |
| The Veterans Administration has placed an almost total ban on all abortions including rape and incest. Federal prisoners have more rights than loyal veterans and still can get abortions. |
 [Immigration Law] Several Miami immigration attorneys offer free initial consultations to discuss cases involving family-based immigration, deportation defense, visas, and citizenship. Top firms providing this service include Velasquez & Associates, Gomez Immigration, Gimenez & Carrillo, Alex Hanna, and Eran Ben Ezra. These consultations allow potential clients to explain their situation and explore legal options at no cost. Tell the illegal aliens to do a Google search for any of these firms. I support ICE and want illegal aliens out of the US. |
| [CNN] I’m sick of Wolf Blitzer and that snow white guy, Anderson Cooper. They remind me of ‘old school’ news. I need new and fresh like on the internet. Wolf Blitzer thinks flushing a toilet is “breaking news”. Get over yourself. It’s no wonder most younger people get all their news from the internet. |
 Why ice skates were a terrible idea that worked. The long, strange journey from prehistoric bone skates to the high-tech blades of today. Link |
| [Movies] Have you noticed that everything in the movies that doesn’t work, gets tried 2 times and on the 3d try it works. Car, boat, generator—everything works on the third try in Movieland. |
 [We Solve Murders by Richard Osman] Solving murders. It’s a family business. Big Pine Book Club February 21 at 10am in the library. Full Menu > Book Club |
| [Friday Joke] During a visit to the mental asylum, a man asked the director, “How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?” The director said, “Well, we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer the person a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub.” The man nodded, “Oh, I understand! A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” The director frowned and motioned to the orderlies, “No, a normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window? |
 Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls Kid Davis and the Bullets, a great band and recording artists from Philly are playing our local Ramrod watering hole tonight, Friday January 30. This is one of the tightest bands I’ve every seen doing originals and super arrangements of great tunes. It’s going to be chilly but the heaters will be on and drinks will be flowing. I’m asking my Wetstock friends and family to come out and support this great band. You will not be disappointed.Your friend, Flip Flop Bob |
| Diamond-dealing billionaire died during penis enlargement operation – surgeon is given suspended sentence in France. Link |
 Florida Legislature may expand its Veggie Libel Law–you say tomato, I say, see you in court. If you thought Florida was weird, it gets even stranger in Tallahassee this time of year. In fact, there’s already a law on the books that makes it actionable to defame perishable produce in Florida, believe it or not. Link |
| [Turn of Windows AI Copilot] In order to disable Windows Copilot, you have to select ‘enable’! Another tricky way they have to get you to use their AI feature, Windows Copilot. It seems counter intuitive to be clicking Enabled here, but we are enabling a policy to disable Copilot. That’s computer gibberish to confuse you to leave Copilot active. Another example of why computers are so frustrating. |
| Submit a post Contact Us What are you afraid of? |
 [Not Using Bike Lane] I see it all too often and don’t understand how the riders aren’t afraid. The bike lane is safe and was very expensive to build, partially due to complaints from cycling groups (who, evidently, would rather ride on US instead). It’s only a matter of time until we see spandex spread all over US1. |
| [Slavery] In the 1800s American ships delivered indentured servants from India to the islands off Peru to harvest bat guano to ship to the American plantations to fertilizer the cotton. |
 Why do Mexicans kiss their thumb after making the sign of the cross? Some of the old woman make the sign twice, than kiss their thumb. Some kiss the side of their index finger. All very odd religious traditions. |
| [Friday Joke] A small plane is flying from Dallas to Denver when the engine sputters and dies. The pilot runs out of the cockpit, grabs a parachute, opens the door, then says, “Sorry, there are only three parachutes left,” and jumps out. This leaves 4 passengers: a boy scout, a college professor, a priest, and a doctor. The doctor says, “Guys, I need to be saved. I heal people and am a valuable resource to the human population.” He grabs a parachute and jumps out. The professor says, “Well, I’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize and spoken to the leaders of the free world. The President of the United States has called me the smartest man alive. It is obvious I need to be saved.” He grabs a parachute and jumps out, leaving the priest and the boy scout… but only one parachute. The priest smiles sadly at the boy and says, “Son, I’ve lived a long and fruitful life. You are young and have the rest of your life in front of you. Take the last parachute.” The scout replies, “It’s okay, Father. The smartest man alive just jumped out of the plane with my knapsack.” |
 [Tourist Drivers] The good Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to. Use your damn turn signal! |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 1/30/25 at 8:25 am. |
[House For Sale] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. $550,000.
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