2013 May

Friday, May 31, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media


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(Saturday, June 1, 2013. The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)

repress31[Cuba] For the poster who states “We could improve the life of the average Cuban by beginning discourse with the Cuban Government.”. You offer no evidence that this is in any way true. Cuba is a brutal racist leftist regime that denies its citizens even the most basic of freedoms. You found American products there because the sanctions do not prevent Cubans citizens from aquiring anything American only that the violent and oppressive communist Cuban government will not profit by selling Cuban goods to Americans.

Your post is a classic example of the narrsistic wretchedness that defines the left. That you enjoyed your trip.  That you enjoyed the people, that you would visit again. You mister are a self indulgent leftist with no regard for human decency.

Cuban people would do anything for just a taste of the freedoms that we enjoy here in America. Your pandering to the oppressive totalitarian Leftist government of that island is an embarrassment to America and a stain on humanity. Link

manley-deboer-logo150h welcomes Manley and deBoer Lumber on Industrial Road in Big Pine Key to the fold. Yes, there is a lumber company on Big PineT No need to drive to Marathon or Key West to build that deck or addition. · Lumber & Building Material, Roofing, Doors & Windows Millwork, Landscaping Materials. Delivery Service!

[Teflon] They sure are making Teflon pans a lot better these days. I used to have to replace my Teflon pans all the time due to the badly scratched surfaces. I even use metal kitchen tools and the pans don’t scratch.




[Got Milk] Do you wonder why organic milk has a shelf life of 2 to 3 times longer than regular milk?

We’re Not Broke — the movie. 

jackson31[Andrew Jackson] Think politics is tough now? Two hundred and seven years ago this month a friend of the future president Andrew Jackson’s deprecated the manner in which Captain Joseph Erwin had handled a bet with Jackson over a horse race. Erwin’s son-in-law, Charles Dickinson became enraged and started quarreling with Jackson’s friend which lead to Jackson becoming involved. Dickinson wrote to Jackson calling him a ‘coward and an equivocator.’ The affair continued, with more insults and misunderstandings, until Dickinson published a statement in the Nashville Review in May 1806, calling Jackson a ‘worthless scoundrel, … a poltroon and a coward.

The letter to the editor resulted in a written challenge from Jackson to a duel. Since Dickinson was considered an expert shot, Jackson determined it would be best to let Dickinson turn and fire first, hoping that his aim might be spoiled in his quickness; Jackson would wait and take careful aim at Dickinson. Dickinson did fire first, hitting Jackson in the chest. Under the rules of dueling, Dickinson had to remain still as Jackson took aim and shot and killed him. However, the bullet that struck Jackson was so close to his heart that it could never be safely removed. Jackson’s behavior in the in the dual outraged men of honor in Tennessee, who called it a brutal, cold-blooded killing and saddled Jackson with a reputation as a fearful, violent, vengeful man.

His audacity on behalf of the people earned him enemies who slandered him and defamed even his wife, Rachel. He dueled in her defense and his own, suffering grievous wounds that left him with bullet fragments lodged about his body.

Twenty two years later the American people elected him President of the United States. 

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Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[Critters] CheapShots is back in the Keys doing low cost shots, dentals, etc. from Key West to Islamorada this weekend. For times and locations, call 305-390-0325.



[“Emergency Radiator Repair”] Bacon, yes bacon. After you put the egg in, use a fair amount of pepper. Wait 30 seconds add the bacon, give it about 2 minutes then add an English muffin.That should do it.

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Nuts in a bunch. Ow!


[“Memorial Day is about dead people”] I got confused with Veteran’s Day, I sincerely apologize for my statement.



Stupid cheer leaders.

The porn universe really strives to make sure there’s something for everyone. Case in point — say you want to watch a mother and a daughter bang/or get banged by the same dude. Thanks to Jessica Sexxxton and her daughter, Monica, you can do that! But now the porn pioneers — who have shared the same partner while in the same room, but not had sex with each other — are looking for a father/son team to take them on.

The Florida-based pair tried making the porn once before, with a couple of guys who weren’t related, but Jessica said it didn’t work out because the dad looked “too much like the “Cockroach” guy from that movie, ‘Men In Black.’” Link 


[Big box stores,and pricing] If you want to live in Miami, go live in Miami. I think it’s worth the extra to stay here, and I seldom leave the rock, even to shop. How many clothes do you need in the Keys? The Blood Mobile gives out free t-shirts every six weeks; online shopping is even cheaper than the box stores, and they deliver right to your door. Shop the sales. Catch a fish. You’ve got to be a major jerk to live here and not have friends keep you stocked with fish if you don’t fish.

My main worry is whether or not the plumbing will work during a hurricane now that we’ve been forced to “upgrade” to a system that needs electricity. I may build myself one of those redneck toilets I saw the other day here on the Telegraph to go with my other hurricane supplies.

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an fan dog


[“Wind turbine are money-wasting project”] Sure does tic me off because you mention why solar is not the big thing, simply because the oil mentality controls solar development and the patents. Read Sci American. There is more power coming in to earth every day from the sun than oil could produce in a 1000 years. Why are we not using solar, because the sheep are too lazy to care and can’t envision any time past  past  today.

[“Radiator repair”] I used the black pepper trick on the Alcan Hwy years ago. It got me from Whitehorse to Anchorage.  I don’t know much about the newer models and what works in computer assisted systems.

an now take a cold one

[More bar wisdom] Shower sex is an art that should not be attempted drunk.

I just went to an ENT[?] with an ear infection. Got the bills back from Medicare. New Patient visit $385, first cleaning $185, second cleaning $125. All this took less than one freaking hour. No wonder my insurance costs are nuts!



Knaidel was the championship word in this year’s spelling bee. I think it’s unfair that they use German words in an American spelling bee.  A knaidel  is a type of knödel which is a German dumpling. Are they going to use a Japanese word next year.

[“Memorial Day is about dead people”] Sorry, I disagree. that was a stupid statement. Memorial Day is not only about honoring those brave men and women that have given the ultimate sacrifice but also those that are still living.


[Conspiracy] An intelligent documentary which demonstrates the possibility of an orchestrated false flag operation conducted on September 11th2001. Many key points shown on this film, that if you have any common sense, you will begin to question what really happened that day also. Link

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usa-inc52hThe poster says we are in a morass because the powers that be have sold their souls to “Corporatism”, and that we are aided in these endeavors by the Media, which exhibits our thoughts as ignorant, while evidently implying that his thoughts have been arived at by evidently a greater insight unseen by the rest of the mass populace, he seems to frown upon us poor souls for not having the superior deciphering mechanisms that he says he possesses , well maybe so and maybe not, if the gentlemen is so thorough in his research, would it be possible that he could give some of us poor pilgrims a little insight into some of the shenanigans which have produced what he terms as the “Corporate Elite” as to the new world order, i myself could possibly give 100 different definitions as to what that word would possibly encompass, some quite noble and others quite frightening, the world of general ideas is a world of low Info. people, if you truly want to make a point one must be a bit more specific.


One area in which Congress excels: naming Post Offices. Link


The story about our troops returning home from Vietnam being spit on at the airport is an urban myth, probably perpetuated by the many phonies running around claiming they were in the SEALs or some other elite unit or receiving a medal.

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[Joke] Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking.

Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.”

Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7pm, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what’s there: a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times !!!”

Dorothy:  “Goodness gracious!… so you are telling me I shouldn’t go?”.

Edna: “No, no, no… course not…  I’m just saying, wear an old dress”.



Some good advice!

[“Alternate Energy] The weakest greenie argument”] Ahhh, itty bitty poster getting mad at reality. Go buy some more oil stocks and play planet destroyer.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[“14 people on the flats boat”] I doubt that you could even fit four people on a flats boat. That must have been a misprint in Thursday’s CT.



The US embargo on Cuba is Bulls**t] I’ve been there a few times,most  recently in April, and have never seen any of the complaints the US Government claims is going on and none of the Cubans I talked to over the years know of these complaints. A German tourist said it best when I questioned her about any bad things she might have heard about Cuba, “You’ve got to stop getting your information from the American media.”

New Drug Court set to open. Link



[TSA] Pat down to board airplane.

[Memorial Day is About the Dead] My kid asked me, “What if all the veterans and soldiers were dead, then we would not have any more wars, right?”

Six year old logic.


[A Joke or 3] Our ol’ buddy Dick Capri was finally allowed to get his roast to Drew Carey back online! A funny 5 minutes. Video



[Captain Doom and Gloom] I saw this title here again the other day and it suddenly clicked that reading the posts here make me feel exactly like the lyrics to that great new Rolling Stones song Doom and Gloom. Coincidence? I think not.

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[Captain Doom and Gloom] “Help get a Wal-Mart onto Rockland Key” No thanks, we have enough trash in the Keys already!

DEF: Baritus n. That horrible growth similar to Surfer’s Knees, that you have on your elbows from excessive libationing!

DEF: Maintenance n. The world’s rarest word not found in any language except American English.

DEF: Pigpoo n. That state in which one gets from associating with low rent bloggers.

DEF: Pacifist n. Anyone smart enough to hide from the war lords and burn their draft card.

DEF: Bar Itch n. The feeling that you are drinking in a place that has never been cleaned since it was opened 100 years ago.

DEF: Divorce n. That condition felt after you are screwed out of everything you worked so hard at getting to make her happy. SEE: Meal ticket, Pre-nut grab agreement.

DEF: Yo-Yo n. That thing leaving a divorce court in a wet towel and paper sandals.

DEF: Hangover n. The suffering you acquire from bad ice and dirty glasses.

DEF: Toilet Seat n. That thing you leave up to make your wife mad because you know you are not getting any anyway!

religion politics zone

[Constitutional Rights Obsolete] A disappointing experience is guaranteed to anyone who dares to challenge the logic and veracity of the emperor. Unabashedly naked, his ideologues have adorned him with glorious garments, attempting to conceal the true nature of their totalitarian desires. The worship and devotion rendered unto him by his minions is a national disgrace.

These devotees tightly grasp their indoctrinated beliefs and dogmas. Lacking depth and empirical data to discern the plausibility of political perspectives that confront them, they adopt the delusionary persuasions that provide them with comfort, rationalizing their incompleteness and dependency.

These citizen disciples have been successfully targeted by the ruling elites. Marketing techniques that stimulate and drive the baser instincts of this power source has generated political outcomes. The moral and spiritual instruction that would offset this type of propaganda is strictly prohibited.

Has it ever crossed your mind, perhaps the government doesn’t want its citizens to receive a world-class education? A confident and well-informed public would not settle for the garbage being peddled their way.

Enemies of the state have done much to dismantle the republic that birthed our Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights and Constitution. Their allegiance is to the acquisition and maintenance of power and control. Prioritizing the personal liberties and freedoms of the American people isn’t formulated into their manner of governance. As our servitude increases, the abuses and mistreatment by government will accelerate.

At one time, inflicting fear and harm into the lives of its people was not the role of the United States government. Using its might and force to attack those that it disagrees with, is not why three successive generations of my family were awarded five Purple Heart Medals.

Apparently, an intolerant and calculating contempt by our government towards those citizens that it does not like has prompted it to act malevolently.

Benghazi, IRS retaliations, journalistic spying, the president’s “Kill List” and torture are not the trademark of my country. The toxic notion that Americans can be secretly targeted for drone strikes within the United States, is as lawless as it gets.

Not very “One Human Family-ish”.

What is happening in Syria is what is bubbling just beneath the surface of every Middle Eastern country and a lot of other countries with Muslims.  Just a fact of life and I’m sorry about that.

I could FTR, but I wont. That ‘reader’ is definitely a he (you don’t possess a good grasp on military history or you would have known that, wink) and my post to you was about correcting the false and incomplete history of the US military interactions specifically in Beirut. Please as be specific as I was. The mention of the 24th MAU was to point out your fallacy. President Eisenhower had nothing to do with The 24th MAU. Which POTUS did (in Beirut)? I’ve asked you in the past to include all facts, not just the ones you cherry pick. Thanks!

“The most common bitch from the left is about Iran 1 and Iran 2. We will never agree whether or not the conflicts were justified.” Our resident know it all wrote on 5/28. I think he needs geography lesson.

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Obamacare in California doubles Premiums of Self Insured. Link

Dolphins are not gentle or psychic. The are Muslims and have no qualm about life or death or respect or honor. They do smell better though!


right only grey

an_right wrongRecently a poster disputed my assertion that under Democrat governance the poor are getting poorer, the middle class is declining, and the rich are getting richer. S/he wanted proof. FTR is glad to oblige.

On May 30th, 2013 the San Francisco Chronicle (certainly no bastion of conservatism) reported on a Pew Research study. The SFC reported that median wealth for the middle class – assets minus debts – has taken a particularly heavy hit in the past decade, (please remember that we have endured Democrat governance for 6 ½ years out of the past 10 years) falling by 28 percent from $130,000 to $93,000, while median income for a family of four fell 5 percent, to $68,000. According to those describing themselves as middle class, a household income of $70,000 is about what it takes to enjoy that way of life.

And, yes, the rich got richer, though not by much (to $575,000 in median wealth, up from $570,000), while the poor got a lot poorer: a 45 percent plunge in median wealth from $18,000 to $10,000. Under Democrat governance, the poor get poorer.

A separate report on household incomes from June 2009, when the recession was declared officially over, finds an overall decline of 4.8 percent from then until June 2012. That’s almost twice the drop from 2007 to 2009, when the recession was at its worst.

“During the ‘economic recovery,’ real median annual household income continued to decline” to $51,000 in June 2012, notes the report, from Sentier Research, an economic analysis and forecasting firm in Annapolis, Md. “Almost every group is worse off now than it was three years ago.” Read more: Link

My thanks to yesterday’s poster who cited a web site as some sort of proof that terrorist attacks are declining under Obama vs. Bush.  If you were to take the time to check out the web site you would learn that in the last  4.5 years, terrorist attacks have increased by 20% over the last final 4.5 years of the Bush administration. According to proffered web site terrorist attacks during the most recent 12 months have increased from the previous 12 month period. The poster provided the following link.

doug31Part 2) Doug Shulman is the recently resigned head of the IRS. As an aside, if you’ve seen him on TV he is an arrogant supercilious rectum, which seem to be a requirement for close association with Mr. Obama. He resigned after taking hit after hit after hit about the IRS’s selecting conservative groups for massive and possibly illegal intrusion into their affairs.   Aside from the facts about the IRS malfeasance, we’ve just learned that he visited the White House some 157 times. Hopefully you’re now thinking “so what”. The “so what is that during the Bush Administration, Schulman’s predecessor visited the White House exactly once.  Clinton visited about 43 times and Leon Panetta only 20 times. It sure looks like Obama has and is using the IRS as a war club against those who would resist Obama. Link


knee31Part 3) One more thing! Yesterday a poster wrote: “I’m very concerned that FTR guy isn’t a real conservative, but a liberal plant to make the GOP look bad. Want proof? He hasn’t complained once about being forced to use Obamacare to get his knees replaced.”  Deer Friends what can be said about the brain power of that poster? It’s incredible, but s/he doesn’t even know that  the Obamacare benefits do not come into being until January 2014, but we ared taxed for it now. Now we are seeing an increase in health insurance premiums in anticipation of Obamacare. We are seeing businesses cut back on hiring and cutting full time employees to part time status because of Obamacare. One little secret I’ll share with the CT community, even though my left knee was getting very painful, I could have lived with it for some time to come. I decided to have the surgery now before the $750 billion that Obama cut from Medicare to pay for Obamacare worked their way down the food chain.  Old Farts who read this and who are contemplating elective surgery really should have the surgery before January 2014. You can be rock solid certain that quality of life surgery such as mine will take a huge hit under Obamacare. Good luck


It is interesting to note that not a single supporter of Alicia Putney and John Hammerstrom’s “solar pipe-dream team” who did not already use a solar energy system for their home has disconnected from their electricity provider and installed a solar energy system and it is that very hypocrisy that is so detestable. The bottom line however has nothing to do with the pros and cons of solar vs. commercial electricity. The crux of the issue is simply this: no one has the right to tell any other person in this community what they can or cannot have if it is within their means and within their rights and within the law. All three were proven. Anything else from the losing team is sour grapes and an attempt to blow smoke up our collective asses with continued diatribes. You lost, now get over it…

John Hammerstrom’s swan song piece was apparently written both as self aggrandizement and as a last token kudo for the woman he hoped would make them both revered in the history of solar pioneering.  His suggestions throughout the controversy were irrelevant.  Previously he has not used a signature line. Either to boast his solar credentials or out of conscience he noted he is grid tied.  Enough said.

People on No Name Key won the fight to have electric, now get over it, it’s over. Do you not know that electric is there right to have? It’s a Florida state law.