2014 August

Sunday, August 31, 2014

[Slideshow "number2" not found]

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

Ladies and Gentlemen , Boys and Girls , Children of all ages, Today is the day! Wetstock. 10 is here! See you in the waters off Picnic Island. Music starts around 1-ish. See you there. ~Your Friend, Flip Flop Bob
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maid eat corn on cob
Nothing goes better with a Labor Day b-b-q than corn-on-the-cob.  Try this variation for a great treat.  Husk corn and remove all silk (unless you want it stuck in your teeth).  Place corn on grill and turn frequently to cook on all sides.  A bit off char here and that will enhance the grilled flavor.  When the corn is nearly done, melt a stick of butter in an appropriate container and then spread a good amount of shredded Parmesan cheese on a platter or sheet pan (Kraft brand in shaker can preferred).  Brush the corn well with melted butter and then roll it in the cheese to thinly coat evenly.  In Mexico this is prepared with chili powder and cumin in the Parmesan and called Elote.  Don’t forget the potato salad.  Good eats!
[Sewers] Have you noticed that proponents of our new sewers always mention cesspits when spewing their nonsense as if every other home has one? Do you know anyone who has a cesspit? They make it sound like we have whole turds floating on the reef to justify their sewer scheme. It’s astonishing that the government “planet savers” who want us to keep compost piles in our back yard and pay carbon taxes to avoid certain doom from global warming are abandoning a totally green wastewater system already in place. Sure, move septic systems away from canals, but leave the others.

Properly operating septic systems have no carbon footprint and are a long established alternative to central sewers in low density residential areas like ours. According to our politicians and bureaucrats however, a cut rate earth burning sewer system with thousands of grinder pumps and a smelly treatment plant with an off-the-chart carbon footprint is better for us? After all, this is a wonderful opportunity to fleece five figures up front from every resident and a couple of thousand dollars more per year from each of us forever! It seems that pollution and climate change are only important when they can be used as government cash machines.
As for Big Pine Key, it would be nice to see a legitimate study of the potential impact of construction and operation of these sewers on the endangered wildlife and fragile environment of the refuge. Maybe this sewer project is worse for the refuge than what we have now. If our environment is so fragile that you can’t disturb a rat nest or touch a piece of sea grass without the whole ecosystem falling apart, why is it okay to dig a subway through the refuge and pump sewage 15 or 20 miles away for disposal under an old landfill where it will disperse hundreds of millions of gallons of toxic material directly into the backcountry every year? How can anyone believe that is good for the environment?

A favorite talking point of theirs is that they are cleaning up the Keys. They are cleaning up alright.

Selfie from the top of a Hong Kong skyscraper. Almost as scary as that video on Christ The Redeemer in Brazil. Video
I really wouldn’t worry too much about a centipede in bed with you. Unless you threaten it, it will just try to get away. Now if you find one of these in your bed run like the wind!
[Winn Dixie] The new owners of the WD on Big Pine have requested permits to improve the parking lot over 6 months ago, but due to our building dept. they have not received them yet. They want to repave the parking lot, put in new security lights in the parking lot, and build a curb in order to do landscaping. I know that the property manager was asked to cut down the bushes at the ends of the lanes for safety. I am surprised it is not done yet, but it does need to be addressed. Lets face it you can only do so much in the Keys when it comes to the government. Maybe they did not learn to grease the hand that feeds them. Oh but wait, the commission has OK an additional $100,000 for over time hours in order to process all the building permits requested before the Oct 1st fee increase date. Did the lower Keys get screwed again on the sewer deal? You bet your sweet butt it did. But what can you expect when you don’t vote
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vote for me31How To Make A Fortune In Monroe County Florida
Be a Politician
Be a Politician’s brother-in-law
Have a Highway Maintenance Company
Have a road painting company
Have a County approved beautification company
Have a Park Bench Company
Have a Aluminum Railing Company
Have a Asphalt Paving Company
Have a Sign Company
Have a Sewer Company
Have a Water Company
Have a Waste Company
Have a Hotel Chain
Have a Tourist Chain
Have a Bus Tour Company
Have a “Specialties Importing Company”
Have a Slave Trading Company
Have a Booze Supply Company
Have a Food Distribution Network
Have a Tax Free anything Company
Have a ISP
Have a Cable Network
Have a Mob Connection
But whatever you do, do not work for a living!
Studies show that a man who has sex more often tends to have a longer life expectancy. Unless his wife finds out.
lab explode
Gunpowder From Your Own Urine
-Popular Mechanics September 2014. Fill a 300-gallon cement tank with manure and urine. If necessary, add a little water to fill things out. Wait 10 months, then strain the result through a fine sieve and a purifying layer of ashes, and dry the liquid portion on trays in the sun to create saltpeter.

Grind the results into a fine powder with a mortar and pestle. After cleaning the mortar and pestle, grind standard charcoal briquettes into powder. Clean the mortar and pestle again, and grind elemental sulfur (found at garden stores) into a powder.• Mix 10 parts saltpeter with three parts charcoal and two parts sulfur. Grind together with the mortar and pestle for 10 minutes.


[How to Speed-Read] Steps to reading faster and comprehending more:

1. Thumb through the section you’re tackling, front to back, and just look at the pages. Don’t actually read anything.

2. Now go through backwards to get an idea of how the material is organized, noting illustrations and headers.

3. Thumb front to back again and, with your finger, locate bold, underlined, and italicized text and any key terms.

4. Go back to front one more time, locating the items you found in step 3 and read the text around them for context.

5. Read the regular way. You’ll breeze through and comprehend more easily than if you were going in cold.

I guess that Randy Acevedo being hired by the Aqueduct Authority is a sign of an improving economy. There is now a position open at Sears!
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[Movies] I was eating lunch with the TV on and I landed on My Cousin Vinnie. I didn’t mean to stay, but I was hooked, even though I’d seen it so many times before. There is no slow part. It is just Marisa Tomei and Joe Pesci and rapid fire laughs. I think that’s the number one funny movie for me and I think The Bird Cage is number two.
Hide the WD area from whom? Who live around that lot that are in homes or hotels? No one! Cut the weed and get it done so it is safer to drive in that weirdo designed car trap! Kill the freaking bug carrying chickens to!
Politics has been banned, and that I understand, but can’t we talk about something besides the Big Pine Winn Dixie parking lot?
[History Lesson] Lets do a little history. How about the Bat Tower. A historic site in Monroe County, Florida, the Sugarloaf Key Bat Tower (also known as Perky’s Bat Tower) has been on the U.S. Register of Historic Places since 1982. Built in 1929 by Richter Clyde Perky, a fish lodge owner, the tower was designed to control the Lower Keys’ mosquito problem. The problem: When the bats were put into the tower, they all flew away and never came back.

Built using plans purchased from Dr. Charles Campbell of Texas, a Nobel Peace Prize nominee, the tower was a complete failure. It was supposed to be a deluxe bat house that the animals would continue to come back to so they could feast on the mosquitoes in the area. This tower is only one of fourteen Campbell towers that were built around the world (only three remain standing); the other two are in Texas…Joe/ Coconuts

[Bubba System] Why is anyone surprised about our Randy?  Our politicians are well aware that there will always be an initial squawk by the few that pay attention to government activities down here that they know will quickly dissipate given a short amount of time.  So they will gleefully thumb their noses at any short lived protest, wait for it to fade out, then move on to whatever they and their cronies feel like doing.  That is how the game is played here, and, really, everywhere else.  PS. I have often wondered, when really hard up for something to think about, why our very own FTR guy doesn’t weigh in on local issues?  I know, the erudites are thinking way above our local issues relating to ordinary tiny minded Key’s folk whom, more importantly,  urgently need his guidance on the best way to run the world
[Ed’s Word of the Day] Erudite: Having or showing great knowledge or learning.
Eimers, the 61-year-old Michigan man who died six days after a struggle with police on the sand after he blew off a traffic stop, resisted the band of police officers trying to handcuff him before he fell unconscious, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement’s investigative summary released Thursday — the day after a grand jury cleared all officers involved in the case of any criminal wrongdoing. Eimers’ family is suing the city for wrongful death in federal court.
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The waxing Moon crosses the southern sky as seen at dusk each evening, passing Saturn and Mars.
[“Chicken shit”] After working as a USDA Chicken Inspector, I agree totally about the chickens being a health hazard. They carry all kings of bad bugs and germs. Link
[Leachate] I’m curious if anyone else remembers back when there were signs warning of asbestos at the now-closed Cudjoe landfill? that was back when open dumping was still occurring there? God only knows what other hazardous materials were dumped there. Leachate runoff is a problem at landfills. All landfill liners eventually fail and all landfills leak. Water testing is performed by a contractor at monitoring wells at the Cudjoe landfill. Testing is done only twice a year and only for a small list of chemicals. Regardless, chemicals at a landfill may synergistically react with other chemical and form many other compounds. Leachate runoff at landfills is greater after rains, but testing is done only once during the rainy season (May-Oct) and even then there can be weeks with no rainfall.

It seems amazing that the enormous Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System sewage treatment plant is being built at the base of the Cudjoe landfill, which, incredibly, has a leachate outfall culvert next to the mangroves! and only 75 yards from open water! Truly! Fact is stranger than fiction. Link

[Fruit] Val Kilmer, after killing a bunch of guys made him self a fruit smoothie and said mangoes were the most popular fruit on the planet. I always thought tomatoes or bananas were.
The Mexicans are building our sewer system.  You could never get a local to work the way they do.  By the way, this same scenario is what helped kill off Rome.  Nothing lasts forever, never has, never will.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
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money in gas tank
The Gas Shopper.

Marathon 8/29/14 87 octane $3.37.9
Big Pine 8/29/14 87 octane $3.79.9
Big Coppitt 8/29/14 87 octane $3.68.9
I do not intend to buy gasoline in the Lower Keys. I purchased 70 gallons in Marathon, that is a $29.40 savings on just one trip from Big Pine!
Please stop all the bs about WD parking lot! The next thing will be WD closing and then you’ll have something to complain about and I don’t want to hear it. By the way, where are you driving to go to a Laundromat nowadays
[“FKAA HIRES Felon”] Hear ye, hear ye!  Randy found another spot at the public feeding trough.  Here we have yet another slap in the face of the citizens.  But look around, how many down here  are even aware of crap like this?  Not even close to being enough to concern our officials as they fritter away our money.
[Whiners] Somebody needs to step up and schedule a peaceful rally outside the Big Pine Winn Dixie for, say, next Saturday morning, to protest the deplorable condition of the parking lot.  Refreshments can be provided by local vendors with no private coolers allowed, of course, or pitchforks either.  Some of the local bands can provide enough soothing music to keep the occasion mellow.
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dump3-00[Cudjoe Dump] I was looking through old DER (now DEP) permit applications Thursday evening (because I don’t have a real life) and discovered that the Cudjoe trash mountain off Blimp Road was supposed to be closed and turned into a public park about 2002, promising great scenic views. I don’t think I would want to plan a picnic on a mountain made of hazardous waste, septic tank pumpage and sewage sludge next to a garbage transfer station stinking of restaurant dumpsters (and soon a big sewer plant) but yes, the view is great! Except the water color may be a little weird. The County has placed a huge No Trespassing banner on the gate now, so if you have not seen the view by now in this “public park” as promised to the State, you may never get the opportunity. You have to wonder what the County is hiding back there on public property next to the wildlife refuge to warrant the huge sign. The many Key deer there- always hungry and munching weeds- do seem a little stoned. A former County employee there says you can sometimes hear them singing to the reggae beat of their little hooves: “Don’t worry. Be happy!”
[New business on Big Pine Key] Big Pine Physical Therapy Business Directory > Health
After reviewing the primary election results for our Lower Keys district County Commissioner I could see that he was squarely defeated in his home district. He won by carrying outside districts. That kind of makes you miss the days of single district elections.
I hope that our commissioner will take these results to heart and work for the benefit of the lower Keys for the rest of his term if he is not defeated in November
[“I voted! I wasted gas! I wasted time! I am stupid!”] Yes, you may be stupid for wasting gas, but not just for wasting gas. Ever hear of absentee ballots? It’s the cheapest and easiest way to vote.
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Things a funeral director won’t tell you. Slide Show
[Amazing Things You Didn’t Know Your Phone Could Do] Take a screen shot: Hold the Power and Volume Down buttons at the same time. The image is saved to the “Captured Images” folder in your Gallery app. Link
Does anybody see a problem with an election system in which a constituency’s vote has very little influence on who represents them? It may be time to incorporate Big Pine through, say, Ramrod or Summerland. And another incorporation below that. Most of the County commissioners live in incorporated townships, and those “hometowns” will come first. It is just plain wrong that the big population centers decide the elections outside of their area. Although Danny K and Heather C have been sensitive to issues outside of their constituencies, the others have mostly not, with Murphy and Neugent being shameless in saying, “We don’t need your areas’ votes to win elections.” Or as South Park’s Cartman would say, “Screw you guys!”
marching soldier[People’s Climate March] A weekend to bend the course of history In September, heads of state are going to New York City for a historic summit on climate change. With our future on the line, we will take a weekend and use it to bend the course of history. In New York City there will be an unprecedented climate mobilization – in size, beauty, and impact. This moment will not be just about New York or the United States. Heads of state from around the world will be there, as will the attention of global media.

Our demand is for Action, Not Words: take the action necessary to create a world with an economy that works for people and the planet – now. In short, we want a world safe from the ravages of climate change. We know that no single meeting or summit will “solve climate change” and in many ways this moment will not even really be about the summit. We want this moment to be about us – the people who are standing up in our communities, to organize, to build power, to confront the power of fossil fuels, and to shift power to a just, safe, peaceful world. To do that, we need to act – together. Link

The Big Pine Winn Dixie parking lot gets cleaned and trimmed at night in the dark, so they say.  Well, that explains a few things.
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foam bed31
Before you spend a fortune on a foam bed, you might consider buying a foam topper for your existing bed. I got a 4 inch thick one and love it. It’s very comfortable and not hot. I bought mine from Costco.
Do you know the correct term for gluten-free, sugarless vegan brownies–compost.
handcuffs5[“FKAA Hires Felon”] I can’t believe what I read in the Citizen this morning. Randy Acevedo was hired to be a computer tech for FKAA. The FKAA has been advertising this position for several years and four times I have applied. The first three times I was totally ignored so the fourth time I called Commissioner Nugent to ask the FKAA why my resume was not considered. I have four IT certifications: CompTIA Network+, CompTIA Security+, Microsoft MCP, and Microsoft MCST for Windows 7. In a previous position for a government contractor I was in computer customer service with Top Secret, secret compartmented clearance which is only two notches below the clearance necessary to being allowed to stand next to the President. I received a phone interview from the FKAA, probably due to the phone call from Commissioner Nugent. They asked me three questions.
1. What was my best accomplishment in my government position.
2. What was my worst mistake.
3. What are my weaknesses.

Not one question relating to my technical knowledge or ability or what I could bring to support the position available. I told them my weakness was pizza. That didn’t go over well because I didn’t get the job.

The reality is that I didn’t get the job because it was already given to someone on the inside who is a bubba, but apparently not a knowledgeable computer bubba, so technically the job was still open so they phoned me. Randy throws his resume into the pot again and, low and behold, he is chosen. This is a shame on the FKAA, the County and common sense in general. Where are Randy Acevedo’s technical certifications and credentials? Why does he get a job without any certificates? An experienced techie with hard won certifications and a proven track record of achievement should get that job.

The politics of the Keys really suck and I can’t believe how we all sit here and read about this and let it go on

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10 comm moses
It’s Sunday morning and the kooks are running to those pointy buildings to pay off the god dude with alms as bribery to wipe out all their week’s sins. Too bad we never got to read all the Twenty Commandments before Mo’ accidentally dropped those extra tablets. Just think if there is a heaven or hell, who will be there?
As the poster noted, Jerseys girls are a little slow, but I would have to be the one buzzed before hopping into bed with one.
[Unedited] HELL yea foam beds make my girl VERY hot esp when she is cuffed nekkid to the head board wearing whip cream bikini!
bill-1.9.14[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Clepto n, A diamond covered Benz driving bimbo who palms and pockets shinny stuff at your yard sale!
DEF: Phungoo n, The stuff under the finger nails of the restaurant’s dishwasher!
DEF: Download n, That which allows the world to copy your hard drive.
DEF: Upload n, The which you do after your had a Download and went to Happy Hour.
DEF: Porn n, When you type in P O R N to notify the N S A of what you are about to look at.
DEF: ‘I’ll give you..’ adj,  The three little words that make you hate yard sale freaks!
I remember when the GOP right wingers similar to our very own FTR guy claimed that Government automobile safety standards, pollution standards and mileage standards would kill the American auto industry.  It never happened and now we have better, safer and cleaner running cars.  Ironically those guys tried to kill that same auto industry themselves by opposing the Government bailout when those corporations faced tough times brought on by lax banking regulations favored by Republicans.  What an overall drag they are on progress.
Friday’s ftr rantings are even more insane than normal. In one sentence he bemoans 5,000,000 more unemployed if Obama gets his way with amnesty for illegal aliens-and the next bemoans them competing with Americans for jobs.If they are all unemployed how is that possible? Seriously, I think while the misses was at the hospital he should have had himself checked out too.I have seen this kind of thing in my own family, and the sooner it’s diagnosed the better.
I wonder how many Americans believe what they hear on Fox News?  Of course we already know that %45 of them  believe in ghosts, so the answer to that question has to be pretty depressing.
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The NRA does a good job defending the 2nd amendment, which allows me to defend my family from the creepy Obamites.
from the right
O.K., we know that Obama doesn’t have a strategy to protect us from ISIS and the sundry other mass murderers who are Muslim fundamentalists. We know that because he told us. Incredible! We’ve known about ISIS and the threat that it poses for over a year. We now know that David Cameron, PM of Britain has a strategy and is putting it in operation. We know that many other nations have their own strategies and are moving forward. There was a time when the USA would have been leading instead of dithering. But, oh well!

Not all is doom and gloom. Team Obama has devoted itself to developing a strategy for roasting marshmallows. Not only that, they have published and distributed it nationwide. It was all in preparation for National Roasted Marshmallow Day which was yesterday. After all, we’ve got to keep things in perspective. What can calm a chief executive more than a day of golf followed by s’mores? Read it and weep! Link

Mr. Obama is so cool that he is able to keep his presidential priorities in order. Way to go O.

Part 2) Life is good. We’re back on the rock, Mrs. FTR is recovering very nicely, and the pain she endured is gone. She still has post-surgical discomfort, but that will soon pass. Thanks to all for good thoughts, prayers, and actions