2015 February

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

[“Rockland Key Plaza prose that cons”] It appears that the author of the “Rockland Key Plaza pros and cons” has attended a smoke and mirrors event by developers. It is for sure that a brown-field will be cleaned up? That is the end of the “for sure”s with the exception of more shopping choices.“Monroe County residents spend $500,000 a year on the mainland for which the county loses revenue.” Don’t you think the upper half the county will continue to shop on the mainland?

“We could use the revenue to build low cost housing.” If we have to pay to house the employees, what tax benefit does the county actually realize (perhaps property tax)?

traffic light2“The downside is that there will be more southbound traffic.” Hello! Don’t you think those people will have to go home? Traffic will be impacted in both directions, and on both sides (Key West side also) of the plaza. One only needs to look at the traffic light on BPK during a busy day to realize that this backup will become near permanent in both directions. Making a left on to US1 will become difficult and dangerous without additional traffic lights (2 on BPK,1 Little Torch, 1 Big Torch, 2 Ramrod, 2 Summerland, 4 Cudjoe, 1 added to Sugarloaf, 2 to lower Sugarloaf, and 2 in Saddlebunch). We might as well be on the mainland. If Walmart wants to pay for a 5 lane road through the Lower Keys, that would work. I don’t think that the one bus the developer will have to fund is going to do the job.

“Increased traffic will help Mom & Pop stores”. Perhaps fuel stations, but the rest is a pipe dream. Thousands of small businesses have been shuttered by the presence of a Walmart store. Downtown small America is becoming extinct. People that live on the opposite side of a town from a Walmart store will drive right through the center of town where they have shopped for years to get to a Walmart. They’ll shop and eat at the plaza then return home only to pass the places again where they once shopped and ate. It will probably lessen Mom & Pop store shopping because traffic weary tourists will become more irritable and become more anxious to reach their destination. I hope the Lower Keys Chamber will read the following link and discover how they have been hood winked.

Perhaps tourism will also suffer since tourists will realize what tedious traffic they may have to encounter and choose not to drive down. Or at least all the way to Key West. There will be lots of U-turns.

Walmart, what they say, and what they pay are two different stories.

If you need to have a Walmart, the only real solution to keeping the Lower Keys close to what they are now is to have the County require that the developer put an additional store in Marathon and keep the retail sales localized. Development/construction at both locations should be required to be concurrent and occupancy permits for each location issued on the same day. Link

[“Dog drool and food”] To the person that didn’t like the dog at Looe Key tiki bar, please take your uppity ass somewhere else. Haven’t you noticed some of the two legged, cigarette smoking skanks drooling at the bar? I’d rather sit next to a dog any day. They’re generally cleaner and more pleasant to be around.
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has agreed to pay nearly $4 million to settle a lawsuit filed by Northern California prosecutors that alleged the retailer knowingly charging higher prices than advertised at check out.
[Skirting Property Taxes] A settlement of a case similar in nature to Balfour Beatty. There are other cases pending in other states I believe. Now  the FL legislature is trying to give Balfour/Southeast a free ride again. Link
hareens 12.2.14
[“Selling stuff online”] In answer to your loss of profit,  don’t offer free shipping. Case closed, mystery solved.
slow bullet[Gun nut] Three college students killed in Chapel Hill shooting; 46-year-old man charged. Link
[Republicans Say No to CDC Gun Violence Research] The long awaited CDC Gun Research paper that gun control advocated nervously anticipated to re enforce their anti 2nd Amendment
platform was a big goose egg. Nothing in the paper suggests that more gun control is needed. Inversely statistics have shown that gun violence is down in all areas. The concealed carry ordinances have made many criminals reconsider their victims in the states that have CCW laws. And don’t forget today and every day 11 teenagers will die using social media while driving. Makes you wonder where our politicians heads are? Link
[Caught Lying Again] Brian Williams got caught faking his report of Hurricane Katrina when he said he saw a body floating by and gangs were taking over the hotel. None of that happened.
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transmission11[Transmission Rip-off] Do not take your vehicle to Paradise Transmission in Key West. My van was running jerky so I took it there and I have a Mercedes that has no dipstick. They have to use a shop one. He checked my fluid and did not say anything. He hooked up computer. He did not look underneath. We took it for a ride and he said oh yeah, you need a rebuild and it will be $2500-$3000 bucks and that will be $50 bucks for diagnosis. I had to go to Homestead anyway and decided to take it to a transmission shop named WIWI on US 1 in Homestead. They checked my fluid with their shop dipstick and said it was low, filled it, put it on a lift and checked it out. They found a leak at the electronics entry seal and said it will be $300 to drop the pan replace the gasket and seal, flush it, etc. We took it for a test drive again then they checked it on the computer again. They said, sorry, but the electronic plate and solenoid may be bad and it might be $600-800 to fix. I said OK. They got parts and replaced the solenoid and put it on the computer again and said replacing the electronic plate was not necessary. They ended up charging me $380 for the repair. It now runs like a top. Paradise did not show me the dipstick or fill it up. They never looked underneath for a leak. Beware, I thought people should know about this. ~
[A blind man walks into a bar …] Jokes about the content aside, you can in fact get Playboy magazine in braille, courtesy of the National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped.
Why is it that Keys people seem to hate everything and post negative posts rebutting anything anyone says right or wrong? The Democrat and Republican CT War is a laugh and shows only the ignorance of both sides. Only ridicule and hate are displayed, but few if any facts stated. If I did not read this blog just for humor, I would never tune in again!
[Sewers] I’m a snowbird, but while you’re talking about it, as far as I’ve read and believe, all of Shark Key got their sewer put in without the $4500 charge. Is this true?
[Phishing] A proposal for you, for details Email me via::
Best Regards, Mrs. Kang
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It’s no wonder Brian Williams makes up the news. He’s getting $20,000,000 a year from NBC for doing so.
[Phishing] Important Internet Banking Service.This is an automatic message by the USAA security system to protect our customers from unauthorized access. Our fraud system as automatically generated this alert because we believe your account might have been compromised. Your on-line Access details had been temporarily suspended until we can verify your information. Click Here to begin the verification process.Thanks for Helping Us Protect You
[Vacation] Here’s a thought for our deer ED. Set the CT to autopilot while you’re gone. Two weeks of unedited CT will make the world a better place when you return. Really what could go wrong?
distorted face on lsd
[The Trip Treatment
] Research into psychedelics, shut down for decades, is now yielding exciting results. Link
[Capitol One Card] Sorry to hear you are being penalized for thinking your bill was junk mail and to hear you discovered your downgraded FICO score on your Discover Card bill. I would call Cap One back and see if they can’t help erase that late payment. I know I switched checks between envelopes once. Tell them how long you have been a cardholder and they will see your payment history and know it was a true mistake on your part. It doesn’t help to tell them how much your score dropped with one late payment. Good luck and hope you discover a higher score on your next Discover card bill. I noticed Citi started giving scores too.
Foxnewsofascism is not yet as bad as Islamofascism but it is clearly heading in that direction.
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ebA Big Pine local character, Edward Branczek aka Eb or EB, passed away Tuesday at 1:30 in Hospice care in Key West.  Photo shows Eb, back row, far right with the Coconuts All Star Jug Band. He was a good harp player and a good friend. R.I.P. Eb.
[Sign Pollution] Why signs about plastic bags & the sign at Garrison Bight are important. Link

Saint Peter Church Events

an_church_buggy8th Annual Blimp Road 4 mile walk/run Saturday, February 21, 8 am start Start/finish Old Road Café on Cudjoe Key, MM21.5 runners & walkers $20, age 18 & under $10 ($25 day of race) In support of St. Peter Seabee Foundation, for low income, single parent families in the Lower Keys.  Register online anytime at or St. Peter Church, Big Pine Key, MM31.

Register and early packet-pickup Friday, Feb 20 from 5-7 am during the fish fry. Register & packet pick-up day of race from 7-8 am. $25 t-shirts to first 200 registered.  Post-race refreshments, race awards & raffle prizes. Info at St. Peter Church 305.872.2537 or to register at anytime during office hours 9-3. Events

26th Annual Auction – Live and Silent
St. Peter’s Church – Mile Marker 31 on US1 Big Pine Key
Monday, February 16th
Doors open at 10 for registration and preview. Live Auction starts at 10:30 am.
Call 305.872.2537 for questions. Events
26th Annual Flea Market
Monday, February 16, 8am-1pm St. Peter’s Church – Mile Marker 31 on US1 Big Pine Key Vendor Spots Available – First come / First served. 15′ x 25′ $25 per spot, $5 extra for corner space. No food vendors please. Call 305.872.2537 for questions. Events
26th Annual Presidents Day Yard Sale, Monday, February 16th 8-12:30. Open at 8 sharp, no early sales. The line starts forming about 7:30 am. Multi-Family Yard Sale – anything and everything one would need. St. Peter’s Church – Mile Marker 31 on US1 Big Pine Key. Events
[“Keys health care“] Having been at Fisherman’s Hospital for cancer surgery 10 years ago and Keys Medical 3 years ago for cancer I must say that I feel secure in our medical facilities here in the Keys.
How we roll in Florida
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is duct tape for the kitchen.
[Whacko Department] After 9/11, the CIA launched an operation called Project Prophecy. It predicted the 2006 London terrorist attack, the 2008 recession and today, its architect is going public with evidence of an imminent $100 trillion U.S. collapse. Video
[Mom & Pop] Mom and pop stores are being killed. Online shopping and big box stores are the culprits. When a new business model comes along the old model must do something original too — or die. Just ask the buggy whip makers. Big box stores and online shopping are two relatively new business models that are ruling retail right now, and the near future, until someone thinks of the next new business plan.
Country Fried Steak With White GravyHappy Hump Day from Springer’s Bar and Grill. Today’s special is Country Fried Steak With White Gravy. A definite comfort food that will fill the belly, warm the heart and please the palate.
Thursday special: pesto chicken with bacon and provolone on a kaiser roll
Friday special: beer batter fish and chips or mahi mahi with a mango curry sauce.
Happy Hour 2-6 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s!
I just found out too late that Obama wants to attack ISIS and is asking Congress to approve it. I say too late because I would like to have had FTR’s opinion before what the President announces his actions will be. And if FTR said the exact same thing as the President, how FTR will automatically disagree and call him a liar.
mr_hanky_turdThis crazy sewer system will work just long enough for certain scoundrels to get out of harm’s way by the time enough people connect and the problems arise. The psychological, financial, and environmental harm done will be monumental. If they thought this system was expensive to build, wait until they see what it will cost to rebuild it right after it is in operation. Right now, the engineers’ insurance and the design-build contractor’s performance bond would pay for rectification. In a year, they are off the hook due to Statute of Limitations in Florida. Sorry Charlie.
[“Ed taking two weeks off”] Boy, is your inbox going to be full!
Michael Bloomberg calls Colorado’s decision on legal pot stupid. Do you suppose Bloomberg knows about our waste water hook-ups? Link
[Trust Science Until You Can’t] Ready for some good news? The U.S. government is poised to withdraw longstanding warnings about cholesterol. The finding follows an evolution of thinking among many nutritionists who now believe that, for healthy adults, eating foods high in cholesterol may not significantly affect the level of cholesterol in the blood or increase the risk of heart disease. We can now add cholesterol to the list of “formerly bad for us” foods like coffee, wine, and eggs. Cheesssh! Link
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bitcoin loses
[Bitcoin] MyCoin closes its doors, $387 million in investor funds vanishes. Another blow for Bitcoin. Link
The irrational posters on this blog who cannot even read the posts correctly scare the hell out of me to think they vote, breed and live among us!
[Vacation] I hope the Ed sends us down a post card from Mt. Olympus.
I saw somewhere a while back that 85% of people who use drugs regularly have steady jobs.
Essex-whale[“Moby Dick fans”] Check out the whaling vessel Essex. It was rammed in the Pacific Ocean on Nov. 20,1820 by a pissed-off sperm whale. This is the incident that inspired Melville to write the novel Moby Dick. I read a book about the Essex years back. The whaler Essex was indeed sunk by a whale—and that’s only the beginning. It is a story of survival and cannibalism. One of the survivors, when he passed, had his attic stashed full of nonperishable goods. Once starved never again! Story
[“Vacation”] While you are doing it, I will be able to catch up on my issues that I have missed for one reason or another. Have a nice vacation while we all catch up
“Al Gore gets an F on global warming”. My friend, that post was by far the best comment on the “real science” of climate change I have read in a long time. Of course you realize that the arrogant global warming crowd will call you an uneducated flat earth believing red neck gun toting racist climate denier who doesn’t believe in evolution yadda yadda yadda. Keep thinking for yourself. It is one of the few things they can’t take away…… yet
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‘Republican governance is steering Kansas into fiscal wrack and ruin.”
Poster says everything is hunky dory in Kansas and the tea party agenda is working just fine, so don’t believe the reports that the republican governors agenda has severely hurt the state. This post proves once again that republicans can spin any issue to make it go their way.
I guess the state’s bond rating took a nose dive because their state is so financially sound….. Right
I am sure he can spin that also, blaming that FACT on some other cause or at last gasp, say their bond rating isn’t relevant.
from the right
U.S. Representative Elijah Cummings, Democrat, Maryland, speaking to a group of Federal employees at the National Treasury Employees Union, recently speechified: “People do not seem to understand that so many people come to government knowing that they are not going to make the kind of money that they would make in the private sector but they come to government to feed their souls….”turd11Pure unadulterated pot distilled 182 proof really sour mash Donkey Dung!!! The pure unadulterated fact is that employment by a federal agency is the Golden Grail of salaried jobs.

In 2013 federal civilian workers had an average wage of $81,076, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis. By comparison, the average wage of the nation’s 107 million private-sector workers was $55,424.  When benefits like health care and pensions are included, federal worker compensation averaged $115,524, or 74 percent more than the private-sector average of $66,357.

Nonetheless Democrat Cummings told the assembled faithful that they were not getting paid enough.  Obama has asked for a 1.3% raise for federal workers, Cummings has co-sponsored a bill amusingly called “The Fair Act” which would raise pay up to 3.8% – Cummings told the assembled faithful that “….even that’s too low.”

By the way, Federal employment would increase by 14,000 jobs under President Obama’s fiscal 2015 budget proposal. Are you surprised that Federal Employees Unions spend long tons of money to ensure that Democrats get elected?  I’m not.

PART 2)  Yesterday a poster complained that I was guilty of “telling us (Democrats) what to think and what we should be mad at…” There is some truth in that complaint. I was insensitive, I apologize.

Perhaps I should have simply asked our Democrat CT’rs why they believed that Mr. Obama’s refusal to identify our enemy as being Islamic fundamentalist terrorists is in our national best interest. Perhaps I should have simply asked our Democrat friends why Obama’s lecturing us that the Islamofascists and the Crusaders of a thousand years ago share moral equivalency was in our national interests. Perhaps I should have asked why it is in our national interest that the Democrats and Mr. Obama have no articulated strategy to defeat, destroy, not contain, not diminish, the ever growing hordes of Islamofascist terrorist that are ravening the Mid East and Northern Africa?

Yep, I was insensitive, but that is tough mierda, screw the apology. These are tough times and they are getting tougher thanks to the lack of leadership from the Executive Office.

passport burningPART 3) Perhaps we should all think about the fact that under the current D.C. Democrat regime, Americans are fleeing America in record numbers. According to the latest data from the Treasury Department, a record 3,415 Americans renounced their citizenship in 2014. That was up from the 2,999 in 2013 and more than triple the number for 2012.

One more thing: Thought you might enjoy the view from the top of McCauley mountain in Old Forge New York as of yesterday evening