Since 2002. Published Weekly
Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics or sewer stuff unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)
 The rare worm vine vanilla orchid continues to bloom. The fragrance is amazing! This tiny orchid is shown here with my finger used for scale. |
| [Battle Creep] I remember in the early 60’s when we sent advisors to Vietnam. Than we sent in a few more, than we sent some more to supply them, and it continued until we had a full fledged war that until we entered was a civil war.Now the old man war hawks want to do the same, send in a few forward observers, than a few more, than a supply infrastructure, than troops to guard them, and the next thing we know it will be a full fledged American war that we entered when it was a civil war with no hope of wining |
 [Rapa Nui] Easter Island dance. Hot babes and a dude playing the flute with his nose. Video |
| I read about Airbnb.com not being able to list rental properties in Key West any longer. Please allow us to continue making money while bringing tourists to the city who couldn’t afford to previously because of the high cost of lodging. Consider adding a requirement to have the owner present and living on the premises. All money exchanged is done entirely by Airbnb so there are no phony rentals possible.
The sharing economy (AirBnB, Uber, Lyft and a host of others) is a new “product” and a product that today’s people want. Corporate America hates this business model, but I hope we are more than corporate America. Don’t deny people a chance to experience Key West who otherwise couldn’t afford it. In a challenging economy please don’t deny us property owners some much needed income. Maybe you could add a city surcharge to make up for the bed tax. AirBnB already makes hosts pay taxes on the money they earn. Kodak fought like hell to keep selling film, but a new product came along and changed the business model. Why continue to support old business models or products simply because they haven’t changed? In Key West the lodging industry is a monopoly. Please don’t support monopolies. Maybe it is time to lighten up. |
 ‘59 Caddy, pearl white. |
| I don’t believe the person who wrote about the retraction was threatening a law suit. It’s apparent someone is out to get them and they have consulted their lawyer on what to do. This is how professionals handle issues. But then again, those who hide behind the CT are losers anyway and this person clearly is. |
 All you long time Big Pine Key locals, that knew the Big Pine Inn, the famous great bartender Eric Sundin along with Dave Robertson and their friend, Tony will be at CocoNUTS bar B.P.K. Friday night, June 5th. Come say hello. |
| [LSD Song] I heard a radio interview once were the band “Chicago” was being interviewed. The interviewer asked what the meaning of the song “25 or 6 to 4” was. He said he had heard of the LSD story but truth was the band was up all night recording and one of the band members asked what time it was and the response was “25 or 6 to 4”. It was the time on the clock. Before digital clocks.The LSD story would be nice, but at times reality is a little more down to earth. |
 With today’s modern fuel injected vehicles, when you bring a care in for a tune-up, do they do any more than change the spark plugs and oil? |
| Iraqi soldiers don’t fight because, in their hearts, they sympathize with ISIS. They outnumbered and were better equipped than ISIS troops, yet they ran. |
 [BPK Canal Grass Booms] How do they work? You have to open and close them? Run over them? We’re renting this summer and the prospective canal-front house has several booms protecting the canal. We always rented in Doctor’s Arm, but have to downgrade to the Avenues |
| [Murder] Two B.B. King heirs who’ve been most outspoken about the blues legend’s final days are accusing King’s two closest aides of poisoning him. Daughters Karen Williams and Patty King allege in documents provided by their lawyer to the Associated Press that King’s business manager, LaVerne Toney, and his personal assistant, Myron Johnson, killed their father. Clark County Coroner John Fudenberg said Monday that an autopsy was performed Sunday on King’s embalmed body, and test results will take up to eight weeks. Las Vegas police Lt. Ray Steiber confirmed that homicide detectives are investigating. Toney and Johnson each declined to comment. The coroner says King’s body has been returned to a mortuary, and the investigation shouldn’t delay planned memorials this week in Memphis, Tennessee, and Indianola, Mississippi. (I smell money!) |
 [For best kale smoothie] 1) Fill blender with ice 2) Place kale in trash 3) Pour rum in blender 4) Add fresh fruits 5) Blend well 6) Enjoy! |
| [“Coward”] The person who wrote and illustrated a coward is the coward! Stop hiding behind the Telegraph. It was probably you who put the false giveaway ad in (without a name of course) Look in the mirror super coward. However, your information was incorrect in regard to calling/reporting a neighbor to code enforcement; and how would you know if you weren’t involved? Next time you decide to shoot your mouth off leave your name so we can meet. I left mine. (Ed: No you didn’t.) |
 Never leave home drunk again. |
| Oh look, they are about to start the new car ferry service from Key West to Havana. Link |
 [Dangers At Sea] 11 reasons you should never, ever take a cruise. Link |
| The war against Monsanto. The war against science. Link |
 Another boat load of spaghetti arrives. |
| [Well Drilling] It was interesting reading the comments of well drilling in Kansas and the deep well drilling in the Keys. I’m not a student of geology, but I’m thinking sea level would play a big part of how much, how long and how deep, the differences in both areas. Also gravity pretty much stops at sea level when pumping into the well as opposed to pumping out of the well as in Kansas. Also I can say, “Madam or Mister you are not in Kansas anymore.” |
 [Test] How hot are you on chilies? Video |
| [Sewers] It’s good to see the newspaper and the Nature Conservatory finally getting involved on the sewer fiasco. It took them long enough to get involved with one of the worst engineering projects in Keys history. Better late than never. |
 Roy Rogers & Trigger. Video |
| I am following the sad state of the Keys waters and environment, our nearly dead reef and what happened to it all! I, like Rick Scott, am no scientist – but I at least acknowledge climate change! So what is wrong with the reef and our local waters? I think it is something most of us are interested in (at least 76% from a recent referendum). Our local government does not understand it all either, a majority sided with some local fisherman and the KW Chamber to prevent further restrictions on fishing. And believe me I understand the fears of these fisherman – it is their livelihood. And in defense of some of our local politicians – they too are not scientists. But we better do something. It seems there IS a way out of this. A way that everyone can thrive, as well as our environment. |
 Is anyone else having problems with rats in the Lower Keys? Seems since they started digging in the dump, rats have moved in to my property on Cudjoe Key. I have never had rat problems until this sewer thing started, now I have killed six very large rats with rat poison (never put rat poison in or under your house because if they die in those areas they stink like hell. Put the poison under cover at the edges of your property or in a vacant lot nearby). Who should I call in Monroe County to report this? |
| [CheapShots] After fully expecting to be in the Keys this weekend, Dr. Corbridge is in the hospital and will not be able to come this weekend. Sorry for any inconvenience. |
 [Armpit Odor] For you stinkers out there! Link |
| [Wells] Two scientists with the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, along with a representative of The Nature Conservancy, have urged two local government agencies to delay opening the Cudjoe Regional Waste amid growing concern about the use of four shallow wells. |
 Gee, I wonder where else this sign could be used? |
| Is your cell phone and computer killing you? How many hours a day do you sit and stare at that screen? Have sore back, legs and feet? See your doctor ASAP. |
 I’m waiting for a lie detector app to change the world. The fingerprint reader could register your biometrics, the camera for eye and facial changes and the voice recorder to check voice fluctuations. Link |
| I have dated a lot of women in my day and that proverbial question always pops up; ‘What if I get pregnant?’. My answer is always, ‘Well I usually expect a good breakfast or taken to dinner if it is a boy!’ That seems to end the conversation. |
 Has anyone from No Name Key ever thanked and/or acknowledged Coconut Telegraph for all it has ever done for them? Pro and con it has paid heed. Even the personal? Jeez! |
| Ground broken on massive Las Vegas marijuana farm. Video |
 Sweet and spicy bacon wrapped stuffed chile. Link |
| [Insurance] Dear Homeowner: Thank you for allowing FIRM to inspect your home as part of our RIPP (Reduce Insurance Premiums Project) construction review. It has taken longer than expected to achieve our goal of 700 inspections. We want to thank you for your patience and update you on our progress. All of the inspections are now complete. Your home-specific inspection report will be sent to you in 4-6 weeks via email.
Here are some of the results from a review of the first 106 homes inspected: We are using the inspection results, minus your identifying information, to assess Monroe County’s loss probabilities and exposures. Over the next few months the inspection results will be run through proprietary catastrophe modeling software. The data you helped us gather will permit the model to accurately gauge the impact of our strong building codes and practices in reducing potential storm damage. The model will also separate storm surge risk from wind risk. Previous wind insurance modeling efforts have ignored the damage absorbed by the flood insurance program and presumed all storm losses would be covered by wind insurance. The model results will be presented to Citizens Insurance to determine the impact of the loss data on rates. Results can also be used to assess the costs of alternate insurance carriers and structures. The Florida Office of Insurance Regulation will be kept abreast of our progress and results. FIRM is a volunteer non-profit organization that is leading the drive towards affordable property insurance for Monroe County. We appreciate your support and remind you that you can make tax deductible contributions to help cover the cost of our efforts at FIRMKeys.org. |
 [Underwater Music Festival] Divers and snorkelers can explore the only living coral barrier reef in the continental United States while rocking to a unique sub-sea concert July 11, during the Lower Keys Underwater Music Festival. The event is scheduled from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Looe Key Reef, an area of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, about six miles south of Big Pine Key. |
| [County Coroner, Beaver, Getting Fired] The County is looking into what steps need to be taken amid complaints from funeral home directors over non-payments and inappropriate or inconsiderate use of an uncovered pickup truck for body removal. Beaver’s office has ignored four months’ worth of invoices and he wasn’t available earlier this month to sign off on cremations either. |
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| [Two-Faced] During his transition from Florida governor to likely presidential candidate, Jeb Bush served on the boards of or as an adviser to at least 15 companies and nonprofits, a dizzying array of corporate connections that earned him millions of dollars.
I wonder if the Republicans will take this into account as they continue to persecute The Clinton Foundation? |
 A very clever redneck rotisserie. |
| This past weekend there was a free concert on the Seaside Heights boardwalk by the Dennis DeYoung band (“Styx”) and the opening act was The Romantics. I watched it on the beach cam and they were great! |
 Night time safety burka. |
| [Pot Calling Kettle Black] Conch Color is still here. Don’t believe the lies. A few weeks ago, for the first time in many years, I came down with a bad case of the flu, which resulted in us missing a couple of issues. A somewhat new wannabe competitor came by our house at least four times, suggesting he buy us out or come up with some sordid plan to take us down. The only problem was that not only did he not have the money to buy anyone out, he just proved himself to be a big joke. He turned out to be a big laughingstock all over Key West. But Conch Color kept its head held high. It proved what distinction and high profile means. After 11 years, Conch Color was the real deal. We weren’t going anywhere. My mother and I are proud to have been strong forces behind Conch Color, and behind the ideal of One Human Family. We are the real deal. The family of man. So don’t believe all the nonsense. Conch Color knows how to spell “Konk” for one thing. And we are a member of the Keys. We know where we come from. This is why we are here. ~Tom Oosterhoudt, Editor & Publisher
Well, Mr Oosterhoudt, if you refer to your name calling and insults as keeping your “head held high” I suggest you start reading what you write: |
 Chinese campers getting away from it all. |
 [For Sale] The Bose L1 Classic System brings full, natural sound to your performances and makes set ups and sound checks a breeze. The L1 Model 1 family of products puts the musician back in control of the music. Eliminates many of the common problems of conventional amplification while delivering uncommonly consistent sound for you and your audience. Bose includes L1 Cylindrical Radiator speaker, with double Bass bins , PS1 power stand, and R1 remote control.
System power: 250W to upper section, 250W to lower section. The Bose L1’s unique design delivers a wide dispersion pattern with nearly 180-degrees of coverage that offers extended, even sound levels with no need for conventional monitors, amp, PA system, mixing console, or a tangle of cables. The PS1 Power Stand takes the place of those components, as well as being the mechanical support for the L1. It has 2 balanced mic/line and 2 unbalanced line inputs. Presets optimize the L1 for use with a variety of instruments and vocal mics. The R1 Remote Control with 3-band EQ/volume control for each of the mic/line inputs and overall volume control for the system (inputs 1-4) make it easy to tweak your sound on the fly. Best offer. Call Joe at 305-872-3118 or e-mail at jcbsr@comcast.net |
| How to keep data charges down on iPhone 6 when using AT&T. Turn Cellular Data off when you are on Wi-Fi, or do not wish to use it, since that is what is being charged. |
 Alabama Summer Olympics |
| [A/C Woes] We are having continuous problems with our central air system. History: 2004 Replaced Condensing Coil $1099. 2005 Replaced Evap Coil $375. 2008 Replaced Condensing Unit with XB13 2.5 ton new Condensing Unit $2370. 2010 Replaced Condensing Coil (unit under warranty) service charge $845. 2012 Replaced Air Handler Unit $2150. 2015 Recharged Condensing Coil service Charge $225. In 16 years this Trane unit has cost us over $7064 (not including a few other ‘service calls’ to clean the unit, clear the drains). Age of our Unit: Condensing Unit 7 yrs old, Condensing Coil 5 yrs old, Air handler 3 yrs old. Proposal of local AC Company: My Questions: We are at a loss as to the best way to proceed. We are uncertain our assumptions about the longevity and performance being inadequate are correct. Please share your thoughts. |
 Spice is marketed as a safe, synthetic, and legal alternative to marijuana (all lies) – and it has infested our state. Also known as K2, incense, and fake weed. Mississippi has had 1,204 *reported* cases of spice overdoses in the last two months – and at least 17 deaths. This is a bad, bad drug folks. Talk to your kids. Link |
| Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the Hell happened. |
| The Long Walk Home veterans project is having a yard sale June 20th, Saturday, if you would like to help by donating items you could either drop them off before the date at our headquarters or call us and we will pick it up. Please call Ron at 305-504-3795. |
| [“Color of ‘red’ channel markers”] Ask for marker channel red! |
 [“Color of ‘red’ channel markers”] International orange is the color. |
| Bay of Fundy time-lapse tide video. |
| Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com |