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2015 May

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Weekly

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sister00[Dead “Sister”] The Citizen said her real name was Delores, but her mother told me her name was Carol and so sid Sister. Hmm? She was one of my favorite characters from the old days. I remember one of the times she disrupted the sunset celebration with a funeral for her dog. A bunch of her friends carried the corpse on a decorated board and slipped him into the water at Mallory Pier with much pomp and fanfare. The tourists were aghast. One time she lived in three tents on old Boca Chica road and was rumored to be a which. She would invite young, good-looking men to be ‘cured’ while she’d rub her special healing oils all over they bodies. Never had a complaint.Playboy bunny, elephant  ride, and defender of the “American Om’. At Spare Change” she glued change onto the sidewalk and watched people try to take it off the sidewalk and in her window above the door were lots of change glued to the inside of the glass.She was the silver painted hood ornament on the first float of the first Fantasy Fest parade in 1979. She was hard as nails, but soft as a bunny. Limbo champ, dancer extraordinaire, cat rescuer, Mallory Square participant and defender of the Sunset Celebration in the early 80’s, tie dye artist, enthusiastic singer and one of the most outrageous people I ever had the good fortune to meet.sister-lil-at-capt-conchs
Pictured here in this abused photo is Sister singing “Jamblaya” with Curly and Lil at Captain Conch’s Patio at Mallory Square in the mid 70’s
[Cuba No Longer Terror Sponsor] The Obama administration formally removed Cuba from the U.S. terrorism blacklist Friday, a decision hailed in Cuba as the healing of a decades old wound and an important step toward normalizing relations between the Cold War foes.
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Welcome to hurricane season which ends November 30. Here’s hoping there isn’t any.
[Homeless] Honolulu began closing popular Waikiki beachfront parks at midnight to stop homeless people from settling. Violators receive a criminal citation, which could become a warrant if they do not show up in court.
Those who pay the fine will have a criminal mark on their record, and that could cause non-citizens to be refused entry to the U.S. if they return.
The morning after her 21st birthday in late March, Jalisa Jose and several friends from Idaho were on Waikiki Beach around 2 a.m., during their spring break from college. Police officers approached the group and wrote citations, she said.
Jose said they didn’t realize they were breaking the law by sitting on the world-renowned beach, even though there are signs posted about every 50 yards along the sidewalk.
“A couple nights before we were on a beach where it was OK to be on late at night, so we didn’t really know,” Jose told Hawaii News Now from her home in Lewiston, Idaho.
The citation set a court date of May 27, which she missed. That could lead to a criminal warrant
[Homeless Part 2] A homeless man was charged in a violent stabbing Sunday, the second such incident in as many weeks around Key West.
volcano1[Ban Volcanoes] The largest cause of climate change & global warming are volcanoes. I just read about another volcano erupting in Japan, volcanologists are predicting more to follow. If the Keys are to survive, volcanoes must be banned. Get the government involved, set Blue Ribbon panels to come up with plans on how to spend money, and it will help the unemployment numbers by offering many unnecessary jobs and benefits to unproductive people. Call your congressmen & senators. Demand a total ban before it’s too late.
[Environment] I am sorry to hear what you have heard about the Cuban reef and Gardens of the Queens from a few people. Maybe this is the case. I am always looking for a little ray of sunshine in a murky, clouded, dead ecological system. I still hope it is true. I am a logical person, I operate on logic, not what I am told by others, by the government, by the news media. It simply makes sense to me, that a not so developed society would not have yet killed everything off and screwed everything up like has happened to so much of the US. Over-development means unhealthy living conditions, poor health and an eventual death to the food chain – of which we are a part. There are many reasons I have spent well over 10 years researching and traveling, looking for ‘home’. We like what many consider “third” world countries – it often means a much better, happier, healthy life.We have 5 things we look for in a country: 1. What kind of a political system do they have? Is it safe? Is anywhere safe these days? 2. The currency. Is it stable? Compared to the US dollar you will get much debate. Some think the dollar is king, others see the world beginning to use other currencies for trade, and leaving the US and the dollar out of those conversations. Some think the next bubble will be related to the market and currencies of the world. Only time will tell. I’m not betting on the dollar long term. I think more like Jim Rodgers – agriculture! You can’t eat money, gold or silver. 3. Geography and climate. We don’t want to any longer live with hurricanes! Nor massive flooding, earthquakes, volcanoes, etc – yeah there are places in the US that maybe have better climate than the Keys, but they don’t have the other important aspects of life we require. And I don’t need someone telling me about the earthquakes in Panama – I know where the fault lines are and I am not worried 4. Affordability. Here is where key west scores a zero and much of the US for that – at least once you have discovered, lived in, and enjoyed some other countries. And 5. which can not be left out – how do the people of the country being considered as home, feel about Americans – not America, but Americans? Actually you should not say you are an American to them, their response is a puzzled look and they will respond we are all Americans, can you not refer to your self as something else? Cental America, South America, North America – all Americans! My friends in Central and South American suggest I am a Norte Americano! Ok but what about the Canadians – oh, they are Canadians – lucky bunch!I’d like to through in one more consideration as we have looked for home it has to do with spending. What does a country spend on education, the military, and how does their GDP compare with government spending? A country that sees its least fortunate are schooled with a good education as well as free access to good health care – that says a lot about what a country thinks of its people, and that’s a country I want to call home. Some call that OMG … Socialism! I call it humanity. Common sense
hotdogHot dogs around the world. It’s as American as the hot dog. The ultimate hot dog style guide. Link
Just because my place of worship happens to be the liquor store doesn’t make my religion any less valid than yours.
guitar22Merle Travis received a guitar he had asked Paul Bigsby to custom-make. It becomes his trademark instrument, often referred to as the “Bigsby”.
[Energy Independence] I’m sure you’ve noticed the skyrocketing price of beef lately. I wondered so I did some investigating and found two villains. The drought/water shortage is a major player, but the Lex Luther in this scam is our government tinkering with energy. The push to use more and more ethanol is causing farmers to gravitate away from feed sales to producing for ethanol. This obviously is causing meat producers’ costs for feed to go thru the roof. You know the results, cutbacks in production, rising prices. This forecast is to continue thru 2017. So taking away a major world food source so someone in the oligarchy can get rich is not surprising.
olds00[Cuba’s Cars] I wonder how long it will take for American car collectors to buy and ship all the old cars from Cuba to the US?(There is a small emblem that looks like a blue inverted anchor over the second door from the right in this photo. That symbol means that they have a room for rent. Knock on the door and ask how much it costs and if you can see it. Don’t expect anything much. It should cost around $25 a night.)
[How Phony Can You Be] I like Jeb Bush. He’s on just about every news show and has been raising enormous amounts of money, visits key primary states, and on interviews says he doesn’t know if he’ll run for President. Huh? Well, what the hell is he doing raising so much money? Is he just trying to skirt election laws so he doesn’t have to comply once he declares? Do you think we’ll ever have a politician who is truly honest and speaks the truth?
pilot
Oh, oh!
Tuesday there were 4 bomb threats on different airlines. If I were a terrorist group like ISIL I’d call every airline around the world and threaten every plane. It would cripple the world because authorities have to check out every threat.
bruce-jenner8I had a good laugh about the Bruce Jenner on the Fruit Loops boxes. A while back when the news first broke about Bruce transformation. a girl I know posted something on FB about a car wreck Bruce(?) Jenner had been involved in.  I posted that it appeared the therapies were really working! Guess not.
[“Iraqi Army running”] That’s reminiscent of Vietnam and the ARVN soldiers in 1972 and 1965, 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971 and 1973. 58,286 of our soldiers wasted–for nothing. Now the hawks want to send more American troops to fight against ISIS, another war that can’t be won with guns.
lizard-people[Lizard?] Wait for it to unravel. Video
[Doom] What the hell happened to America? A kid stubs his toe at school and the parents want to hang the teacher? A woman spills boiling coffee and burns herself then sues for millions? A religious group wants to take over the country and the bleeding hearts want to give them welfare? Actors, Athletes, Politicians and other useless drones get millions of dollars for what and a farmer gets the shaft? Millions of illegal invaders are now in control of major areas and want free everything? No wonder this country is the laughing stock of the planet and we are not going to make it!
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“To make a long story short …”, Said no woman ever.
guitar-willie
[“Willie should get a new guitar”] Willie Nelson and His Famous Guitar: The Tale of Trigger. Video
Study shows sailors really do make better lovers (of course this is from a sailing website). Link
skeleton-toilet[Sick Cruise Ships] It is amazing how the international media has nothing reported about the world’s cruise industry having a major contamination of the Norovirus unless you do a search on line for it. Money talks I guess!
[Failure] Undercover people tested the TSA’s security at airports around the country. The TSA had a 95% failure rate. (That’s similar to the NSA’s gathering of all our communications which has been proven to be very ineffective too.) It turns out taking your belt off doesn’t mane anyone safer.
baby dance2[Dance] This is absolutely breathtaking, but skip to 1:20 and get right to the dance and cut out all the talking/yapping! I’ve watched it a couple of times and still cannot figure out how just 8 people can  create these forms so gracefully. Video
[The Missing Waterfront Park] The Navy in 2002 gave the city the 32-acre waterfront property, which remains almost entirely undeveloped.
coconut drink[16th Century Description Of Coconut By Sir Francis Drake] Cocos hath a hard shell and a green husk over it as hath our walnut, but it far exceedeth in greatness, for this cocos in his green husk is bigger than any man’s two fists. Of the hard shell many drinking cups are made here in England, and set in silver as I have often seen. Next within this hard shell is a white rind resembling in show very much, even as any thing may do, to the white of an egg when it is hard boiled. Within this white of the nut lieth a water, which is whitish and very clear, to the quantity of half a pint or thereabouts: which water and white rind before spoken of are both of a very cool fresh taste, and as pleasing as anything may be. I have heard some hold opinion that it is very restorative.
[Religion] I recall sitting in a Methodist Sunday school class on Sunday near Helen, Georgia, in June 2004, and the Sunday school teacher, a leader of a Bikers for Christ club, which rode their motorcycles around northern Georgia, and elsewhere, say, he wished all Muslims were dead! He got a number of amens from class members. It kept going that way, until finally I shouted, “What’s wrong with Christians, don’t they read the Bible?! In Genesis, God tells Abraham that Ishmael’s seed (which became Islam), will become a great nation, and it will cause Isaac’s seed trouble (Isaac’s seed became Judaism and Christendom). Ishmael was Abraham’s son by his concubine Hagar, whom Abraham’s wife Sarah had selected to bring forth the child God had promised Abraham. Sarah was old and barren, so she did that. Then, she conceived and Issac was born. I told the Sunday school class, all of whom knew that passage in Genesis, if God predicted what now is going on between Islam, Judaism and Christendom, which is what 911 was about, why are you making such a big fuss about it? Much the same story is in the Koran. Muslims believe Ishmael was the promised son. Jews and Christians believe Isaac was the promised son. They’ve been squabbling and fighting about it a long time. Sibling rivalry, they are brothers with the same father Abraham.
secretary receptionist[Full/Part Time Receptionist needed] Career minded professional with a friendly smile and excellent people skills needed for busy veterinary office. Good telephone skills and the ability to multi task are essential to this position. Computer experience is required. Salary based on experience. Shift hours vary between 7:30AM and 6:00PM Monday-Friday with some Saturday and Sunday shifts included. Please apply at Marathon Veterinary Hospital at 5001 Overseas HWY. Bilingual in Spanish is a plus.
[Booze & Downers] George Maichin, 66, a Little Torch Key man was discovered Monday afternoon floating in a canal near his home. The roommate told deputies Maichin had been drinking alcohol and was taking pain medication for an injured shoulder.
puppet bagThis guy is great ventriloquist; how he got his dog to open his mouth at the right time is beyond me! Video
NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council in Marathon, Fla., on Tuesday, June 16, Hyatt Place, 1996 Overseas Highway.The focus of the meeting will be a discussion on marine events and concentrated uses such as party areas, raft-ups, and boat races to determine whether there are any management issues in need of potential action. Representatives from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, Monroe County Sheriff’s Office, and U.S. Coast Guard will bring their experiences before the council, including any existing permitting requirements and conditions, management issues, and enforcement challenges.
radiation hazmat atom[2015 HAZWOPER Training] (HAZardous Waste OPerations and Emergency Response) Become a Monroe County volunteer trained to assist various  Emergency Responders  during major pollution incidents    Training session for initial certification will be from 9AM until 5PM For recertification, the session will be completed by 1:00 PM   Wednesday, June 24 at the ECO Discovery Center, Key West Wednesday, July 22 at the Marathon Fire Department Wednesday, August 26 at the Key Largo Library   To register or for more details call 1-305-600-8441   or email keys.volunteers@gmail.com    Certificate of Completion awarded at end of course   Sponsored by the US Coast Guard, USCG Auxiliary and Monroe County Emergency Management.
[Drunk Pennsylvania Man Sets Up Fake DUI Checkpoint, Is Promptly Arrested] An added bonus are the Florida mug shots following the story. Link
senior discountThis list of senior discounts for people over 50 might be the best thing you learn all day. Link
[Keys Logic] Sin, wash, repeat.
boat storm[Protect Your Boat in a Hurricane] Make a plan. Link
[Just a Common Soldier] This is not quite what you think it is in spite of what it says below.  Give it a minute or two of your time, and you will be hooked.  It makes some very good points and put the concepts in an interesting perspective and context. Video
pc[Political Correctness] On 1 Sep ’45 in a message to Douglas MacArthur Truman defined political correctness as a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical, minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it’s entirely possible to pick up a piece of s**t by the clean end.
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Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com