2018 August

Friday, August 3, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Ban Mini Season] Why should the fragile reef be subjected to the wanton destruction and rape for two days every year? Oh, so the hotels and restaurants can make money. Why should the rest of us pay the price? Have you ever gone to a boat ramp during the two days and watched the know-nothings try to start their neglected boats, or try to launch or even park their trailers? It’s frustrating to say the least. Dive the bottom and see the overturned coral heads and wrung undersized lobster tails and it’ll break your heart. Our of sight–out of mind. Most of you don’t dive so you can’t understand the destruction that goes on down there. We all read about those lobster mobsters who get caught, but how about the majority who get away with their excessive and undersized catch?  Some businesses benefit, but is that what the Keys are about? letting a few profit while the rest of us live with the consequences of this wanton destruction? Get rid of mini season.  Ask yourself who wants it? Certainly not us locals. We’ve lost control of our Islands to the god of tourism–Money!
[Cyber Security] This is Walt Drabinski, candidate for Keys Energy Board Seat D. One question that keeps coming up is cyber security in the utility industry. My firm has reviewed preparations and actions by electric, gas, water and telecommunications utilities, and each have district threats and required actions. In the last three weeks it was revealed that foreign actors were able to hack into one of the largest electric utilities in the US and had the ability to affect generation and other operations. Is Keys Energy a potential target? How should it prepare? In relative terms, Keys Energy is a tiny utility, but it has a relatively high threat potential, because of the large military presence here. While the military has back-up generation and can recover from an attack, it will take time, cause confusion and provide a window for other cyber or physical attacks. While Keys Energy plans are appropriately confidential, they should include multi-level preparations, including: training of personnel to minimize phishing for passwords; limits on access to secure Supervisory Control and Data Acquisition, generation controls, outage management, and other critical systems; separation of computer systems to minimize cross linking of access, and redundant software that can be uploaded when illegal access is discovered.

My education, experience and understanding of complex utility issues differentiate me from my fellow candidates. Please consider that when it is time to cast your vote. If you have further questions, contact me at Walt Drabinski, candidate for Keys Energy Utility board Seat D.

[Wetstock 14] Deer Ol’ Ed, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, WETSTOCK 14 will happen! I didn’t get blown away but just got back from a 40 day, 8000 mile drive about and around the US and Canada. What a trip!

It is now prep time for Wetstock 14. Wetstock 13 was the last fun day we all had before the dreaded Irma disaster. We are all still trying to put that one behind us, and we will. The boat stage was damaged but l was able to crank the boat and navigate home from the tie up spot in Little torch Key — a blessing in the aftermath.

We’re doing the line up and will have it by next post. Come on out for a day of peace & music!  ~Flip Flop Bob

[Privacy] Big Brother is watching closer than you think. I awoke quite early up in Labelle, FL recently and decided to go have a nice country breakfast. I was not sure if the restaurant that I had in mind was open at 5AM or 5:30, so I asked Google on my smartphone: “Big V Restaurant, Labelle, Florida.” Google said, “Here it is.” and displayed the address, open hours, phone, etc. and the note “You last visited here one month ago.” As an experiment yesterday, I queried “Kiki’s Sandbar, Little Torch Key, FL” and it said I had last been there the day before, which was correct. Why does Google track and record my movements so closely? I don’t think I am anyone’s person of interest. Now I wonder if the info is on the cloud or just cluttering my phone’s memory.


[Taser Time] This guy has a magazine and probably a firearm in his pants and won’t comply with cop’s orders to get down – lots of times. Anyway, when he’s tasered the charge sets off the magazine – with devastating consequences. Note to self: When a bunch of guys with guns pointed at you, tells you to kneel down–do it. Video

[Guns] Guns kill, not people. It would be hard to shoot someone without using a gun. They would have to use a knife or stick or something else. Wake up and stop defending this national skurge.



Abortion is the right of any woman to control her own existence and body without anyone else telling her what to do. Enough of old men sticking their noses in my pussy. If you don’t want kids get sterilized. Done. The world has too many useless eaters as it is.

[Mini Season] Actions speak louder than words.  Which is why saying that we’re saving the fragile Keys’ environment by doing something as ridiculous as banning straws, but allowing destructive practices like mini season for the sake of tourism, makes me believe it is all just BS.
[Bubbas Elected] If we keep voting in members of the same few Bubba system families, how will the rest of us ever be represented in the Keys? I think it is time to finally shake things up! I am voting for the only very well qualified Utility Board Seat D candidate, Walt Drabinski.
I am also voting for Jim Marquet for Seat A if for no other reason than Mona has had the seat about 14 years.
Furthermore, it’s time we had a Lower Keys BOCC representative that actually lives in the Lower Keys instead of Marathon, so Halama sure has my vote!
Did you know that local public employees with a grievance go before a board made up of appointees from Keys Energy, FKAA, and the County. What are the chances of a fair hearing unless you’re a bubba?


[Pistol Packin’ Mama] My wife was surprised that so many of her girl friends are now carrying guns for protection; and big guns at that. Now she wants to get the permit and buy a gun. What to do?

Bing Crosby And The Andrew Sisters — Pistol Packin’ Mama

[“Undetectable Dagger”] Yeah right, just have a cop find that on your person and bing, boom, bang! All you have to do is go to any food market and buy a box of extra large plastic steak knives.

[Wetstock 14 Organizer] Flip Flop Bob has been in Sturgis last couple weeks, I’m not sure when he is coming back. Link

Another video showing FTR Guy trying to get to Tennessee before hurricane season really gets bad. Video
[“Maine lobster rolls”] Florida lobster rolls are made on Cuban bread with lettuce, tomato and a homemade Florida salsa that incorporates the flavors of key lime, mango and cilantro. Your inference is almost as insipid as the annual Lobster Fest that uses no Florida lobster because Maine’s are cheaper, at the big tiki on Ramrod. But hey, let’s face it, the majority of those living in the Keys believe Maine lobster is better because they have sweet, tender claws.


[Purple Heart Blood] As our nation tumbles into a vacuous and moronic state of partisan politics, pitting groups of Americans against one another, whereby every manner of assault, insult and violent act is rationalized away as being justified; it was heartening for me to witness the unanimous agreement reached today in our United States Senate identifying “August 7 as Purple Heart Day”. So much is given and lost by those members of our Armed Forces awarded the Purple Heart Medal. Combat wounds, infirmities, excruciating pain and death incurred in battle are the prerequisites for this award.

[Sweden and Immigration] I have a friend who lives there. He calls it Swedenistan and they’re inundated with refugees. The other day, a rubber boat carrying migrants from North Africa landed on a beach in Cadiz, Spain. It is a cultural assault resulting in changes to countries that were otherwise sovereign until this recent flood migration. Paris is overrun, Germany hides the issues they have from the press because Merkel leaves their doors wide open. The issue is not the migrant, but the fact that they want to import their culture and lifestyle to where they migrate. This is proven in the behavior of the people. Think Guatemala, Nicaragua, Venezuela, Honduras, El Salvador and Mexico are s**t holes? Wait until you see your neighborhood when their culture of throwing trash on the ground moves in. The easiest way to fix what’s wrong is to stay and fix it. The remittances they send home hurt our country. Their use of our entitlement system takes away from Americans who are entitled to benefits American tax payers pay for.



[Straws] Instead of offering straws to every customer by default, they should simply ask the person purchasing a drink if he or she would like a straw. Having a supply of single-use plastic straws on hand for those who require them — which is what some businesses have said they plan on doing — would not be too onerous.

[Guns] In the last issue of the CT a writer went on and on about the cost of guns to society.  I believe that he missed a few things.  He forgot about the price associated with 2.5 million defensively used firearms a year.  The savings from these mostly un-fired guns alone vastly out shadow the cost of the people who end up shot.  Another point not recognized in the figures supplied, was the fact that most of the non-suicides are gangster against gangster crimes.  The odds of a non-criminal being shot are infinitesimally small.

One last point to remember is that the police are in no way legally responsible to save your unprepared ass. Even if you call them and they get there on time they have no responsibility to do anything until after the crime has been committed. I prefer to be responsible for the safety of myself, friends and family.





Arguing with a fool only proves that there are two.

[“Trump fired the cyber security czar then eliminated the position”] That’s because he moved it to the Department of Homeland Security where it belongs. Link


[Friday Joke] I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a really bad day. The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf! He looked up at me and said ‘I am not happy!’

So I said, ‘Well, which one are you then? That’s how the fight started.

[Heat] They said there were more record hot days this year then ever, but I really haven’t felt it like I did last year when there was no breeze. Pray for breeze!



[3D-Printed Guns Explained] No, you can’t just download a gun from the Internet. Here’s what’s really going on. Link

[Kicking a Puppy] Because I keep my pup and her 5 pound sister inside in a kennel for about ten hours a day I purposely drive twenty or so minutes way back on Big Torch Key, Gulfside, where it is totally deserted every evening so these two pups can run off some steam – no leases, but they’re trained to stay only on the road. An elderly tourist couple decided to take a walk on the same deserted stretch of road where I and my pups were walking. The elderly woman, who appeared to be in better shape, was power walking way ahead of her man. She gave a friendly greeting as I and the dogs passed. However, the elderly man who was way behind his wife and decided it was too much work to keep up with his wife turned in my direction and walked to his truck to wait for his wife in the same direction as I and the pups were moving. What happened next was so funny but at the same time sad. This 200+ pound man tried his best to kick a puppy, barely 3 pounds, simply because the puppy ran up to greet him barking. PS: the pup thought he wanted to play and the heavyset man’s feet couldn’t move fast enough to make contact. The sad point I want to make is this 3 pound pup barked to greet, not bite, never has and never will either. This man knew the pup was harmless, yet he went out of his way to curse and wanted to physically injure a harmless 3 pound pup. I picked up both of my pups and told the man that if he did in fact make contact and injure my little puppy I would kick his arse up and down the Keys – wrong of me to say, but said nevertheless. Granted there are leash laws for dogs in developments but on a totally deserted road with no houses, no Key Deer and a tourist couple who wanted to walk in the wilderness. My question to the readers is what would another reasonable person do or say if they were faced with the same scenario?
Paper straw factory to open in Britain as restaurants ditch plastic. Production line in Ebbw Vale, Wales, to make straws for McDonald’s and others. Link


Isn’t it against the law that if an illegal alien or criminal wins the lottery they cannot collect, and that ticket is void? It damn well should be!

[World’s Greatest Cultural Disaster] Alexandria to the Christian world was the real center of Christian light and influence. Its bishops were the most learned. Its schools of the most potential. It was in commerce with all the world and could scatter influences wider than any other city. It had given the Septuagint version of the Bible to the nations. All around, it had made converts of the Coptic elements, which were native, and Egypt’s natural defenders in case of war. But these it had estranged. Therefore the Saracen conquest was easy. Alexandria was surrounded and fell A.D. 640. “I have taken,” says Amrou, “the great city of the west with its 4000 palaces, 4000 baths, 400 theatres, 12,000 shops and great library. Califf Omar said, “These books are useless if they contain only the word of God; they are pernicious if they contain anything else. Therefore destroy them.” The Muslims burnt the library and destroyed almost all western knowledge.



[JFK and PT 109] 75 years ago on August 1. Naval officer, American hero, statesman, assassinated President. Lets all pause and remember. Link  For our local involvement in the filming see: Full Menu > Big Pine Museum > PT-109

[Straws] The original paper straws are expensive. Link
[Plumber From Hell] My property just finished with the sewer install – almost two years after I signed the contract and handed over a large check. This plumping company (located on Quail Roost Road on Big Pine) is a total joke.  The dingy “office” was filthy, tiny and dark.  Irma understood, but two years of various excuses is absurd.  Each and every time I visited the crammed office, there were different staff, a bumbling staff.  If the owner is there, watch out!  He’s brutal to his staff and now as I’ve learned myself, to his customers.  I stood outside the door for a few minutes after paying my final installment.  The language and disrespect for both employees and me were voiced loud and clear, with many, many explicit words.  I felt for the office ladies.  If I had realized before what a joke this place was, I’d never in a million years have signed with them.

Apple is now the first trillion dollar company. Wow, I wonder why? Do they over charge for their phones or are they just popular?

[Greed Kills] Africa Chief Killed in 1911. Prosperity, however, spoiled him, and he began to exact tolls from the State caravans. The route being blocked by his insolence, the State sent a force of Bangalas, who captured and beheaded him. The village was burnt, and the people fled elsewhere.


[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[“Guns”] Whoever wrote in the article on guns should know that guns don’t commit crimes, people do.
[Green Water] Tuesday, as hundreds of residents packed a standing-room-only Cape Coral yacht club to hear about the federal government’s efforts to deal with water conditions, a dead manatee washed up at a nearby boat ramp. The red tide is devastating. Blu-green algae in Lake Okeechobee and down the east coast. I haven’t been able to eat an Everglades caught fish since the late 70s. Why’s the water green and the corals brown and white? We’re so glad you had fun here on vacation, but did you really have to move here? Did you really think we needed another restaurant serving imported fish? Gawd, I miss Lucy’s Key Lime pies, Big George’s smoked conch and Monte’s Seafood on Summerland.
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