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 The Big Pine Key Hydrology Project is a gigantic waste of taxpayer money!
The USFWS and FWC say this project will make a wetland, which is brackish much of the year into a freshwater wetland. The only clear result of this project is the removal of at least six more acres of native vegetation, and the waste of one million dollars that could have been spent on a project that would actually improve the fresh water resources of Big Pine Key. The management of the Key Deer Refuge has cleared more than 135 acres of habitat on Big Pine Key since 2015, and this project just increases the total loss of native vegetation. So far, more than 90 cubic yards of native soil has been removed during this project. The removal of this soil and the fill that is removed during this project will allow more salt water intrusion into this site in the future. The whole ideal of brand new clearing of wetlands to fill them in, to make new roads just doesn’t make sense. The house on Lime Lane that is owned by USFWS should be removed. The new access road to reach this house will replace the access road that the refuge spent $25,000 to improve in 2007. Sort of like musical access roads. The removal of Kapok Lane, which goes through a fragment of former transitional pine land, will undermine the future of some of the only uplands in the project area. This road just south of Watson Blvd. actually helps keep salt water from the north out of this project area. The lack of understanding of the function of the dwindling fresh water resources of Big Pine Key does not bode well for the future of the Key deer. The large carbon footprint and gigantic waste of money of this project demonstrates the breakdown of the way things are done in the current refuge. |
[Lots Of Free Beer] Train carrying Coors Light and Blue Moon beer derails in Montana. Link |
| [COVID Symptoms] Symptoms usually appear in this order. Fever, cough and muscle pain, nausea or vomiting, diarrhea. Link |
 Leprosy appears to be on the rise in Florida. A 54-year-old Florida man diagnosed with leprosy adds to a growing number of cases detected in the south-eastern United States, which appears to be a new hot spot for the disease. Link |
| [ChatGPT] I was playing around with ChatGPT and asked it to “write an article about the blogger Sloan Bashinsky.” Here is what it came up with after about 30 seconds. I gave it absolutely zero prompts, background or anything else. All I did was ask what is above in quotes. Interesting huh?
ChatGPT Response: |
 I spoke with the local CVS Manager this morning about some of our concerns with the store, including the worn out carpet at checkout. He has spoken with corporate and the store will be undergoing a mild refit in early September that includes new carpet. The store will remain open during the process. The fat-ass elf may have done the damage. |
| Seth MacFarlane donates $1 million to Entertainment Community Fund to support strikers. Link [What Does Captain Doom and Gloom Think] I feel so sorry for these poor unfunded actors, just like I feel sorry for politicos who lose their jobs. Why don’t we, who have worked hard all our lives, donate to these unfortunate useless eaters? Now I know why it is called a “Play”. Maybe they will get the right idea and replace the stinking illegals. |
 Starting Saturday Aug. 12 the Computer Club will meet at the Big Pine Library. Stop by this informal gathering if you have any questions about your cellphones or computers. |
| [Hackers] The Chinese have never conceded that China was behind the theft of security clearance files of roughly 22 million Americans–including six million sets of fingerprints, from the Office of Personnel Management during the Obama administration. |
 [Urinal Cake] I don’t know what genius decided to call it a ‘urinal cake’ when ‘pisscuit’ was right there for the taking. Another opportunity lost. |
| [Free Money] United Way of Collier and the Keys has announced the annual UWCK Marine Science Education Grant application process is now open for educators focused on expanding opportunities for Florida Keys students in marine science and conservation. Now in the third year, the last 2 year’s awards totaled over $55,000 and created over 10,000 student experiences ranging from in-classroom visits by local marine scientists to field trips to the Everglades, Dry Tortugas, and various coral reefs throughout the Keys. Link |
 [Baking Soda] I’m watching “How it’s Made”. First, it’s mined in Colorado. Then on to a huge factory where it undergoes many procedures before it goes into the little yellow box. I aught to go and bake something . But first I need to learn how to make climbing walls and animatronic Velociraptors. I never know when I might need that information! Video |
| [Sweat] 2 easy homemade electrolyte drinks that actually work. You might need more than water to recover what you lose when sweating. Link |
 [Dead Bodies] Look inside the warehouse that builds machines to liquify dead bodies. Most funeral practices leave pollution behind. Can aquamation change that? Link |
| [Profound Statement of the Day] Other things must die every day in order for us to live. |
How John Deere builds its massive machines. Link |
| [Friday Joke] The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three?” “Four,” answered the boy. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what comes after 10?” “Jack.” |
 [Mahjong for Everyone] Monroe County and AARP are sponsoring Mahjong at the new Community Center in the Winn Dixie shopping center every Friday beginning at 1:30 p.m. Come play, come learn. If you’re a little late, that’s OK. |
| In 1949 Nazis forbid obituaries so people wouldn’t know how many people the Nazis were murdering. |
 In 2021, federal Members of Parliament voted unanimously to make August 1st Emancipation Day, marking the actual day in 1834 that the Slavery Abolition Act of 1833 came into effect across the British Empire. Slavery was legal and practiced in early Canada for longer than it has been abolished. And many racist ideas, stereotypes, and practices that live on today have their roots in the dehumanization of Black people that justified and sustained the slave trade. Link |
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 Famous phalluses from history and what they represent. Link |
| [Donate Blood] Did you know the FDA has changed donor eligibility rules which may now make you eligible to donate blood. More information is on our home page. Blood Drives in the Big Pine area for the month of August are listed below. Donor gifts are a One Blood Southernmost Blood Donor shirt and $20 eGift Card. To schedule an appointment visit http://www.oneblood.org and enter your zip code and the from and to dates. As always, thank you to those who donate blood. LinkThursday, August 10 – Berkshire Hathaway Keys Real Estate – Big Pine 12:30 – 5:30 Sunday, August 13 – Keys Vineyard Big Pine 8:30 – 12:30 Platelets 8:30 – 1 Thursday, August 31 – Bealls @ Big Pine Shopping Center 12 – 5 |
 [Fish Kills] Some 60 fish kills have been reported along the length of the Florida Keys this summer. Scorching sea surface temperatures that reduce oxygen levels are to blame. Though they have mainly hit small fish in the shallows, scientists and fishing guides fear increasing temperatures could bring far worse ones this summer. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Link |
| The Trump Trial is the most important trial in the history of the US and should be televised in order for both sides to know the truth. There is no good reason not to televise it. Are we going to have some secret trial like in China or Russia. We must act like a democracy not some third world mess. |
 [Friday Joke] A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, “Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?”The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist. “I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.” The man below says, “You must be in management.” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/4/23 at 8:30 am. |