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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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 I’d been experiencing partial blindness for about two weeks. I was told by my long-time Key West M.D. Ophthalmologist that my glaucoma had progressed to the point that I should go up to Miami right away to the emergency room of Bascom Palmer Eye Institute for emergency surgery. He said not to make an appointment because I didn’t have the time, but to go to the emergency room asap because I didn’t have the 4 weeks it usually takes to get an appointment. I would go blind before that.I got up there at 8 am (What trouble it is to go to the city. We left at 3:30 am. 7 hours of driving under the worst conditions: Miami.) It was really easy to see the doctor on duty. It only took a few minutes of waiting. Although I was shocked to see a teenager posing as a doctor, he turned out to be an actual M.D. and an Ophthalmologist to boot. After my exam he told me I need to continue taking the drops prescribed, but with the addition of warm compresses across my eyes 2-3 times a day and after the compress, over the counter eye drops. My problem, he said, is that there is a gland above the eye that is ‘oily’, and that oil needs to be warmed so it will drain out of my ducts, clearing my vision. When it’s not warm it turns slightly solid and those ‘solids’ blocks my vision. He said that is why I’m having episodes of partial blindness. He said the drops are crystalizing –or something like that—and feel like sand over my eyeballs and I must apply the warm compresses for 10 minutes then gently rub the lids towards the ear to push the oil from the gland as it gets warm and soft, towards the ducts. I never got to ask him all the questions I thought of since leaving, although he was very patient and answered my questions, but as soon as I didn’t ask anything he dismissed me. I was sitting there dumbfounded that I didn’t need an immediate operation and couldn’t think of the right questions to ask. No operation, just some eye drops and a warm towel. |
| Mankind has never done anything together. Not one thing. There’s always 30% who won’t go along with the majority. |
 The Keys Chamber Orchestra and the Lower Keys Community Choir will be performing Easter concerts, and we would love to have you join us. March 18th at the Big Pine United Methodist Church – 280 Key Deer Blvd, BPK,March 19th at Venture Out – Spanish Main Dr, Cudjoe, and March 21st at San Pablo Catholic Church – 550 122nd St Ocean, Marathon; All concerts begin at 7:30 p.m. and last about an hour. The concerts are free, there is plenty of free parking and there will be a goodwill offering at each to help pay for next season’s music. Help us spread the word! |
| iPhone’s autocorrect is a nightmare. Here’s how to fix it. You’re not the only one annoyed by the iOS 17’s aggressive autocorrect. Link |
President Biden wants to give Americans a $10,000 tax credit — just for selling their homes. Inside Biden’s plan to unlock the housing market’s golden handcuffs. Link |
| [Hourly Wages] I was up on mainland with family and was visiting with one guy who married into the family and now lives in Florida and is a labor lawyer, (north state). He takes benefits in the form of sick, vacation, and personal days from struggling workers. This knob never had dirt under his fingernails. We got around to discussing things. This screwball goes on and on saying he’s not going to pay a worker with only a GED $40 an hour to do landscaping. Well guess what, now he’s going to have to pay a landscaper with an Associate’s degree $50 an hour! And I hope the worker has a bachelor or higher. Bastard. |
A dog with impressive skills is able to slingshot balloons using a rubber! Now, that is a smart dog. |
| I went to the bathroom without my phone just like my ancestors used to do. |
The Florida Keys in January. |
| [Big Pine Library Book Sale] Thank you all so much for your help with the sorting and selling of books. We collected $583 and also gave away many of the library books. We also donated all of the children’s books that were left at the end of the day to Banana Cabana Academy on Cudjoe Key. Our inside sales are also doing really well. I have over $400 to deposit (there is lots of change that I have not counted). Besides book sales, when people get help from the librarians they will donate to our box (Thank you for being helpful!). Five people also became members of the Friends of the Library. ~Theresa & Carol |
 This tell-tail sign means your cat likes you. As they grew tamer over time, cats forged an unlikely friendship using their tails. There’s the side-to-side swish when they’re agitated; the straight-down, puffed-out position of fright; the horizontal line for neutrality; and many more back-end gestures shared among the feline family. But one movement is largely confined to adult domestic cats: tail-up, whereby the articulate appendage is held perpendicular to the cat’s back, with the tip pointed forward at an approaching individual. The tail-up signal is specific to domestic cats and to lions. |
| There’s a crisis in male fertility. But you wouldn’t know it from the way many men behave. When couples fail to conceive, it’s too often regarded as the woman’s problem. But that is far from being the case. Link |
 SHELL, YEAH! Retired Monroe County Sheriff’s Office Trauma Star pilot Bat Masterson joins dozens of other contestants for a raucous ‘Conch Honk’ on their Conch shells prior to the annual event on Saturday, March 9, at the Oldest House. Link |
| [One Dead] Two personal watercraft collide off Wisteria Island in Key West Harbor. One of the operators, a 27-year-old man, died from his injuries. Link |
 [Drug Kids] Stick on your superpower! These will help kids relax and feel protected so they feel calmer and more relaxed, drift off faster and sleep deeper. Simply stick one to the arm of a child’s pajamas and they’ll breathe in the natural blend of mandarin, lavender, sweet marjoram, vetiver and essential oils. This will calm their nervous system and their mind to make them ready for a peaceful state of sleep. $12 each. (Deer Ed, put this under heading of “what could go wrong?”) |
 [Ceiling Fan Tech] Ceiling fans should be 7’ above floor. Any lower chops off heads of tall people. Any higher and the fan loses its effect, and you can’t feel the breeze on super hot days. Don’t ever dance on furniture. My friend’s ear got chopped off by a metal fan when he was dancing on the bar at the old Compass Rose on Margaret Street in Key West. |
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Women will literally have 23 throw pillows and one screwdriver. |
| [Religious Hysteria 1519] The few Conquistadores stood firm, and with the aid of the firearms and the blessed Virgin, who was distinctly seen hovering over their ranks in the van, they made good the field against the enemy. It cost them dear, however, since seven or eight Christians were slain. |
Japanese Handsaws: The Maebiki Ooga 前挽大鋸. There’s nothing like them. Link |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 3/12/24 at 9:37 am. |