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(Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days)
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| [Congratulations] A donation of 5,000,000.00 euros has been presented to you by Mrs. Mavis Wanczyk, the mega winner of $758 Million in Mega Millions Jackpot, I am donating to 5 random individuals. If you get this email then your email was selected after a spin ball, Reply back to get more details. |
 [Clogged City] Los Angeles is known for many things, but perhaps its most ignominious claim to fame is being the “clogged capital” of the United States on “Brown Friday” — the day after Thanksgiving, when plumbers nationally go out on emergency calls 65% more often than on other Fridays. Analysis by Yelp showed that plumbing-related searches went up 73% in L.A., followed by 37% in Miami, United Press International reported. Roto-Rooter said the most common problem areas were kitchen sinks, toilets and garbage disposals. |
| Why are crocodiles so bumpy? A dermatological mystery has been solved. Link |
 [Dog’s Licking] Why do dogs lick humans? It could be a sign of affection or communication. What’s going on in a dog’s brain when it plants a slobbery lick on a person’s face or hands? There’s no single definitive answer, though canine cognition experts have theories. Link |
| [Friday Joke] The world’s leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop. He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.” “Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” “That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I’m terribly sorry, but I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track. Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, “No, this just can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognize any of these sounds.” The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track. The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage. “This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!” The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” “This is an outrage! I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!” The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. “I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.” |
 [Coffee] Scientists figured out the optimal cup of coffee. You don’t always need the dark roast. Researchers analyzed 30 unique coffee blends to identify the ideal combinations of flavor and caffeine. If your main goal at the end of the day is to get a much-needed energy boost, a medium roast blend for the most caffeine per cup Link |
| [Bad Food] Foods you shouldn’t consider eating. Slides |
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| [Why Banking Scams Are Rising] Bank scams used to be a niche operation. Now, anyone can buy the tools to con you for a few bucks on the Dark Web. There are even guides to make a phone number look like it’s from your bank, including phony customer service reps to answer all your questions. Pro scammers rely on social engineering, too. That’s the fancy name for mind games to gain your trust. They love jumping on video calls because seeing a face makes you more trusting. They’ll keep chatting with you so you miss the security alerts warning you to stop. Link |
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| [Playing Piano with Penis] Don’t try this at home. Video |
 [Getting High in a Pyramid] Ancient Egyptians got high to seek transcendence through altered states of consciousness. Now we have proof that people drank psychotropic compounds in a carefully prepared concoction, to connect with the deity called Bes. Link |
| Computer Club Meeting, Sat. Dec. 14 t the Community Center, Winn Dixie Plaza, BPK. Our meetings are on the 2nd & 4th Saturday of the month, not every other Saturday. (I now have a new status: Monroe County Official Volunteer. The Parks Dept, which is in charge of the Community Center, has decided that I’m an official Volunteer. Now I have to be interviewed by Human Resources to determine whether I’m a Resourceful Human or an alcoholic child molester with a long criminal record. If they don’t ask to see my drug record, I’ll see you on Sat. If they do, be prepared to come and bail me out. ~Club’s Grand Poohbah) |
 [Star Wars] There will be a war in space. This is what it will look like. Many of the technologies that will define the future of space warfare are already in development. The problem facing the U.S. is that China is spearheading most of it. Link |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] Wake up guys, the Keys have been dead for over 35 years and will turn into another strip of Pay Per Tan Beach Brothels they call hotels and resorts, every 100 yards. It has been over ever since they built the highway and allowed those people to govern us humans. The sickening thing is, there’s no place left to go to party hardy. RIP paradise. |
 Cardiologists say these are the worst foods for your heart, and there goes my whole diet. Slides |
| [Friday Joke] After 10 years a wife started to think their child looks kind of strange so she did a DNA test and found out the child is not hers. She told her husband what she found, the husband replied, “You don’t remember do you? When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped and you told me go and change him, so l went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there. The wife fainted. |
 [Is Reality TV Real] I’d like to see a show on how they make a reality tv show and how they prep the people and create false scenes, etc. Some of the shows look so phony I know they rehearse some “spontaneous” scenes. |
| Surprise: EV batteries might have a longer shelf live than once thought. Day-to-day real-world driving may result in less battery degradation over time than in labs. Link |
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 Hackers find hole in Krispy Kreme Doughnuts‘ cyber-security. Doughnut chain Krispy Kreme says it has been hit by a cyberattack which has disrupted its online systems. Some customers in the US have been unable to make online orders as a result of the hack, which occurred in late November but has only just been disclosed. Link |
| [Subway Strangler Free] Congratulations to subway hero, Good Samaritan Daniel Penny, on being acquitted on manslaughter and homicide charges against him. This is a victory not just for Daniel Penny but for all the law-abiding people of New York and a defeat for the shameless, disgraceful District Attorney Alvin Bragg. God Bless America! |
 [Hornets] Rapid spread of bee-killing Asian hornets halted in UK. Action helps thwart advance of invasive yellow-legged hornet that can kill 50 bees a day and has devastated honeybee colonies in France and Italy. Link |
| [Friday Joke] Two guys in their mid-twenties are sitting at a bar having a beer. One of the guys remarks to the other, “Boy you look really tired.” His friend replies, “Dude, I’m exhausted, my girlfriend wants sex all the time. three, four sometimes even six times a night. She wakes me up at all hours. I just don’t know what to do.” A fellow in his seventies is sitting a few bar stools down from them and overhears their conversation. He looked over at the two men, and showing the wisdom of his age says, “Marry her. That’ll put an end to that nonsense!” |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/13/24 at 9:03 am. |