2014 February

Friday, February 14, 2014

CT-Banner7.3.13No Saturday Edition

Classified Ads     Events     Business Directory      Contact Us      Menu    
happy valentine 242h
[“Gas prices going up and oil companies’ greed to blame”] I think not. Oil companies are like gas stations, they add a small percentage to the price of their material purchased in bulk for processing or handling. The bulk of the price of gas is the cost of the crude oil itself and then next taxes from governments. The price of crude has gone up because the U.S. devalued the dollar at least 3 times (QE 1-3) to pay back loans to China (and itself) to pay for the $7 trillion loss for the failed socialized sub-prime mortgage experiment of 2008 in cheaper dollars. Also gas is going up for another factor, demographics. The baby boomer generation is retiring and they drive less, so less driving means less gas sold, which refiners and stations still have to make a profit to remain in business, so less gallons sold means a slightly higher market-up (and higher taxes) on each gallon that is sold. Oil companies and gas stations are in competition with each other and that keeps their costs and profits down. There is no competition for the government to keep their taxes down or prevent them from printing up more money. Link
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.   

idea bulb eureka

[Sewers]  Has anyone asked the brilliant sewer people, if grinder pumps are so great and cheaper, why isn’t the entire system being built with grinder pumps? 

[Newbie Advice] The best advice is rent until you see if you really like it here. Living here and partying here are two different things. Paradise loses a little of its shine when you have to take out the garbage and vacuum the rug and trying to feed yourself. My best advice is to buy a home don’t try to build a new one, you’ll regret the delays and hardship involved. 
People sleep soundest just before dawn.
uss_maine_1898[Remember the Maine] I don’t think Spain was behind the sinking. As human nature has shown with other important historical events, someone would have talked, maybe to someone else or maybe on their deathbed. No one has ever come forward. Anyone alive at the time is dead now so we’ll never know who or why our greatest warship (at the time) was sunk.

[Spies Like US] 15 states have legislation to deny resources to NSA in order to stop them spying on our every action. Utah is trying to deny NSA’s giant facility in that state the million and a half gallons of water it needs daily to cool its massive servers. Americans (except probably Texans, ha) are waking up to the fact that George Orwell’s prediction of the future has come true. Big Brother is here and getting more powerful every day and must be stopped.

We all should thank Snowden for his bravery in exposing this abuse of our right to privacy. Had he gone through proper channels he would have ended up in jail, silenced, and we never would have this proof of Big Brother’s existence. America is in a downward spiral where almost no one trust our government or Congress or the President. That is a recipe for disaster not greatness.

pool wading happy boy


[Sewers] $3000 to $4000 to convert a poop tank into a water tank, are you nuts? For that kind of money I can put rain gutters and a kiddy pool in and use that and make my kids happy too!

[Oops!] Suicide bomb trainer in Iraq accidentally blows up his class. Why are suicide bomb instructors even a thing? And how do you pay off your student loan? Link
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.    

i have a dreamThis is the season for all northerners visiting here to want to move here forever. In the past few weeks I have heard some things about moving here that are really funny to us locals.
1. I found six empty lots right on the water, I could build six duplexes and really make a lot of money fast.
2. I would like to buy Sugarloaf Lodge and build a 10 story hotel. I should be able to buy that run down place for about $100,000.
3. There is 10 acres for sale on Ramrod Key, I could put in a 50 unit mobil home park.
4. There seems to be many empty islands here that I could develop into resorts.
5. I bet a lot of people would move here if we built a few more shopping centers. Doesn’t anyone realize the potential of 2 or 3 Walmarts here?
6. I would like to move here, where can I rent for about $300 month?
7. I plan on bringing 2 semis full of all my favorite antiques. Where can I rent cheap that can fit my stuff.

One thing all these people have in common is that they have never seen the Monroe County permitting procedure.

All of us locals make a shopping list and support our local businesses and come to the flea market Saturday and Sunday mornings. I do feel sorry for the guys who didn’t get a Valentines day gift in advance. We will see them on Saturday buying a present late for a woman that won’t be happy. My best advice to them is buy a few gifts and be generous. If big box shopping is your favorite thing to do, don’t move to the Keys.

be my valentine heart roses
boat trojan1983 Trojan Diesel Sportfish 33’ in excellent condition with twin Cummins 6bta 250s. Very economical to run, 20 knots cruise. Large boat of its size with 14′ beam. 8.5kw diesel generator, 240 gals a day water maker, 600 lb Eskimo ice machine, tower, outriggers, 240 main fuel tank, sleeps 6, 20,000 btu a/c, flat screen tv, large bathroom, new cushions, radar and much more. Located on Big Pine Key. Price $49,900. To see or for more information  Classified Ads > Boats
[Keys Dream Life] I just saw where the cops busted a Stock Island trio for living every local’s ultimate dream: lots of cash, drugs and undersized lobster.

valentine someone special cup 262h


Happy Valentines Day from Springers Bar and Grill. Looking for a place to go with your sweetie for dinner or just looking for a real great meal? Join us tonight, because we have a delectable Mediterranean Salmon, which is to die for. It’s love for the tummy. After dinner, stay around and woo that special someone with a song during our karaoke and that starts at 7pm. Dinner, a song or two and maybe a little dancing, it’s sure to set the night aglow. Spend this special night with us, at least until the lights go out.

Why not keep the weekend going and join us Saturday night for dinner as well. We have another great special planned for your dining pleasure. We have seared chicken stuffed with ricotta cheese, spinach and fire roasted red peppers over rice pilaf topped with a tomato basil beurre blanc. It’s sure to be a symphony for the palate.

Weekends, always something special at Springers, definitely a step above.

[Newbie Advice] To the person thinking of moving here, rent for a year first. It’s cheap “insurance”. One really doesn’t know what it’s like here if you have only been here on vacation. Lots of places are great if you’re eating out every night, not working, etc.The home prices are not going to skyrocket in a year (unless you ask a realtor).

The next thing is do not  build! You have no idea what building is like here. Ask anyone who has recently. There are way too many issues going on right now to elaborate on that, flood ins, sewers, etc, etc, etc.

Hurricanes are hurricanes, just remember it’s at least 100 miles out of here with one lane for most of it. As far as cops there are good and bad like everywhere else. I will say this, for a place with very little real crime I have never seen more cops anywhere. Internet is ok. Again rent for a year, you will find answers to all your questions. Watch all the replies coming up now that I’ve pissed off all the builders and realtors.Good luck.

[“Every developed country provides socialist healthcare for its citizens”]  And they get most of all their new advances and medical technology from the United States which practices a capitalistic healthcare system. We don’t want to see the healthcare system turned into another U.S. Postal Service.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.



Happy Valentine Day

I’m not voting or Governor Christie if he runs for President. It’s hard to imagine him not knowing the lane to the bridge was shut down. Maybe one day he might not have known, but three days and no one called to complain? Uh, uh. I don’t like bullies or spiteful people and surely not as my President. That is not leadership.
[Sewers] I do not know where the FKAA and the local contractors get their prices for simple sewer hook-ups and septic tank removals, but you people are getting screwed royally. It should not cost more than $2000 to do everything for a simple gravity pipe and haling away my old septic tank. Donate the damn thing to the Reef Builders of the Key, Inc.

scuba ray


Drift diving in Cozumel was really fun!  It’s also nice to be rocking a deep dark tan. My biggest problem seems to be finding the perfect dive sites and the worlds’ best food and an oceanfront hotel room without a loud in the wall ac unit.  Why can’t I have all three?  Looks like Four Seasons only from now on.  Sure do miss the Busch and Vandy.  See them after the sewers are in. 

[“GM New CEO”] Don’t confuse pay with compensation. Yes, I could live quite nicely on the $14m, but the salary/pay is a small percentage of that. The rest is bonus (dollars and equity) or a ‘percentage of success’ – if the CEO is not successful, the compensation will not materialize (that’s why it’s called ‘at risk’). I think of it like commission, if they work hard, and their drive succeeds, then they are motivated correctly.

I also have a tough time considering it out of context. $14m is a lot to me, but LeBron James makes a lot more than that as well as other CEOs in other companies. Bottom line – pay is simple, you get paid what the position is worth in the market. If there were a lot of highly skilled/educated CEO candidates, GM wouldn’t have to pay that much to get a top candidate (similarly, do you think the Heat would trade LeBron for 10 minimum wage players? I’m not sure they’d stay in business long.)

[Sewers] Three days ago, Raw Sewage flooded into the protected waters of Monterey Bay, closing the beaches. Details are sketchy, but with a plumber freeing a sewer clog resulting in a release that big, it had to be a pressure sewer. That could happen if a grinder pump lateral plugged up. The plumber opens the pipe, breaks through the clog, and the sewage in the forcemain doesn’t go downstream like with a gravity sewer. Instead, Pressurized Raw Sewage in the line blows back through the open pipe where the plumber was working. In this case, it flowed into a storm drain, but here it would flow into a canal. The story made local TV news and the internet. Link
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.

brain on monitor computer[Free Computer Course] Most of those reading this message already enjoy some familiarity with computers. However, many of you may know of friends, relatives, and neighbors who know little or nothing about computers and would like to get started.

A course providing an introduction to computing is being offered at the Senior Center (Behind the fire station on Key Deer Blvd on Big Pine Key) on Friday afternoons from 1 to 3 pm. It will start with turning the computer on and go from there. You don’t need to bring a computer in order to participate. Computers are available in the Center for use by newbies. Please encourage any people you know who would benefit from such a course to attend. It’s free. Menu > Ongoing Events

[Newbie Advice] To the scouter,  there are way too many cops in the Keys. There has to be more cops per capita than any other place in this country.
nira tocco realtor 9.12
apple vs windows[Computer Wars] I have done graphics and publication layouts for more than two decades on both Windows and Macs (depending on what my employer had available) and I can assure you that there is no comparison.  As one of my mentors explained it, “Trying to do graphics on a Windows machine is like trying to lace up your shoes while wearing mittens — possible, but very, very difficult. (Ed: That’s a myth, never a real example.)

[Friday Joke] 60 is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year old man. “You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.”
“Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year old. “When you’re seventy, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing’ comes out!”
“Actually,” said the 80-year old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”
“Do you have trouble peeing, too?” asked the 60-year old.
“No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all.”
“So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?”
“No, I have one every morning at 6:30.”
Exasperated, the 60-year old said, “You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so bad about being 80?”
“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

sewing machines montage

I’m looking for someone to fix my portable sewing machine.  Classified Ads > Wanted

[Newbie Advice] 1.The hurricanes are no better or worse than any other coastal area in the southern half of the Country. And everywhere is a low place here. No matter new construction must be above the 100 year floodplain and new building specs are very tough. If financing your home double check the elevation certificate because below floodplain homes will be very expensive to insure in the near future.

2.Our police force is as easy going or as hard ass as they need to be to keep us safe. If you don’t cause trouble you will not find trouble.

3.There are plenty of options for high speed internet. I have had great luck with AT+T U-verse.

Finally, do your homework before buying any undeveloped land. You will find that it is much more difficult and expensive to build here than you think. Seriously consider finding something already built to near your requirements and renovate it to taste.

isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13 
valentine i love you
[Minimum Wage] I don’t know of any government worker that started with minimum wage, they are above minimum wage and always have been.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.

flag france

Why can’t my friend in France get the Coconut Telegraph? He gets most of Europe’s stuff. (Ed: If he has an unrestricted internet connection he can. We get visitors from all over the world. January had visitors from 25 different countries including France. The only place the Coconut Telegraph is blocked is right here in Moron County and we blame the County Administrator, Roman Gastesi, for that. Boo on Roman!)

[Newbie Advice] “How bad are the hurricanes?” Bad and getting worst with more flooding. “Does the entire island get flooded?” Yes it can be since it’s low enough, all depends where the low pressure ends up crossing. In Wilma, which was a mere category 2.5, some of the island of Key West was under 6+ feet of water, lots of homes and cars ruined. “Is the police force a bunch of jerks?” In the City of Key West they usually are because of all the traffic, tourists, noise, chickens, drunks, bums and hysterical types. The Sheriff, State, FDLE, Homeland Security and FWC who also work the rest of the Keys (in huge numbers) are generally very professional and courteous, as long as you are. “High speed provider?” Comcast cable (25 mb/s) and if there is a opening, AT&T U-verse (7-15 mb/s) over the old phone lines.

[“School Computers”] iOS devices in schools yes or no? I would say yes for under 10 year old students, but over 10 they should start leaning Windows 7 or 9 (not 8) for their eventual positions in business and corporations who mostly all have standardized on the Windows 7 platform.

Graphics artists and other professional Mac users should be switching to Windows 7 on PCs, all their professional software is either there or much better and less expensive versions than on OS X. Ditto for high screen monitors and other needed hardware. Apple has been dumping hard on the needs of their professional users, they are giving the nudge by being dicks and it’s time to move off their platform.

Apple is a hardware company, they make a shiny new iOS or OS X version almost annually now to do three things: sell new hardware, screw with the heads of their longtime users and to cripple the older versions of hardware. With Mac’s they expect you to buy a new one every three years and a new iOS device every two years. Whereas a $1000 Windows PC desktop will last a decade or even longer. Link

router d-link

[Linksys/Cisco Router Worm] Active. A reboot clears it, but it can become reinfected again. It’s dangerous for the fact that the router’s Domain Name Server can be changed, thus when one clicks a bookmark for their banking site, it can be directed to a dummy copy of the site instead. Oh, oh. Link 

I have several friends who all live in a different country with free healthcare. Guess what, they come here for treatment!



Every developed country in the world provides healthcare for its citizens: Please show us that list. And the list of their taxation!

To the poster casting shame on The Wings of Freedom Tour, stop whining, big deal, a non WWII vet has to pay 12 bucks to see the planes close up. Do you think The Wings of Freedom is making a fortune? I don’t think so..

Gimme a break, I am a Vietnam era vet and I do not expect special treatment because I served my country decades ago. The word is ‘service’, it’s not done out of a sense of “what will I be entitled to later”. 


[Newbie Advice] To the writer considering moving here asking about a few things. You’re looking at Doctor’s Arm? Nice location, but beware the pitfalls of building! You’ll be waiting years for permits, don’t be fooled. Having been here 10 years, and having gone through the process I can attest it is an absolute joke. The gov’t says one thing, does another. I had no connections moving here, which apparently help smooth things along the way if you have them. You’ll pay heaps of money for your engineering and things like that, then wait for years, get pushed around, and maybe you’ll get your permits, maybe you won’t. I only wish that when I moved here I listened to what the smart people were saying which was don’t  apply for permits, Just do what you want and pay a fine if and when you’re caught.

My advice is buy something already built. If you want to modify it, it will be a lot easier. You’ll likely be sorry if you go the other way and build from scratch. I love living here, and never want to leave. My only regret is applying for permits (which were denied after 2 years of pre-planning with the County of Monroe). My request for permits were for a small addition, which legally we are entitled to build, but going another legal round with the County will take a little more replenishment of my wallet. Good luck, Paradise is beautiful, and many residents and business owners are truly the salt of the Earth.

GreaseClogged-8in-FM[Crappy Sewers] Obstruction by grease is the most prevalent cause of sewer force main backups and sewage overflows. The Cudjoe Regional Sewer system has forcemains that are just plain too long for the pumps connected. They could have added expensive booster pump stations, but instead they made the forcemains larger in diameter to lower the “head loss” (pressure loss) from friction in squeezing the sewage through the pipe. When the pipe is wider, the head loss is less but the velocity through the pipe is less, too. The DEP demands 2.0 feet per second of velocity as a minimum. FKAA did not and cannot achieve that on many side streets, but did make 2 ft/sec on the transmission mains (the trunk line) during calculated peak daily flows, so at least those might be interpreted as legal. But with the intermittent flow they have, they need 3 to 5 ft/sec at least once per day to scour grease and deposits that might otherwise clog the pipe. They do not have it and cannot get it without a redesign. Attached is a photo of an 8″ diameter sewer forcemain that did not have enough velocity to keep the grease moving. A 2″ forcemain will clog more easily. This sewer system is doomed to failure and must be redesigned. The Grinder pump based LPS is especially at risk because of the slow E-1 brand pump selected and the high seasonal population. Lend your support at – Sign on at least. They are fighting for all of us and our Outstanding Florida Waters and could use some help.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.



[Backyard Gun Range Equipment] Vespa 150 TAP, integrated M20 light anti-armor cannon shoots 75 mm rounds capable of penetrating 100 mm of armor from four miles. I wonder what it feel like when that gun fires under your butt? Link

[Friday Joke] Guy goes into a sex shop and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, “Male or female?”
Customer says, “Female.”
Counter guy asks, “Black or white?
Customer says, “White.”
Counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”
Customer says, “What the hell does religion have to do with it?”
Counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up.”

[Crook] Mayor Ray Nagin. The mainstream media ignored the story and the verdict for the most part, if they covered it all.
Study: Watching Fox News Actually Makes You Stupid. Ever wonder what happens to somebody if they watch Fox News all the time? Link


[The Gunshine State] At last, somebody expressing some common sense regarding outdoor gun ranges in residential neighborhoods. Florida’s lawmakers are devoted to upholding the Second Amendment. No problem. But they should be equally devoted to ensuring public safety in your backyard shooting range. Link

[Disgruntled] My wife, looking to move here, took a look at those new instant homes on Little Torch Key and wonder how someone could live in a trailer without wheels. They are disgusting boxes stacked on top of one another and look like they will only last few years before falling apart. How can you locals let some slimy builder build such low rent trash in Paradise? If they start sticking garbage like this all over the Keys, Paradise is really turning into a garbage dump. Want to see what can happen to your Keys, take a trip through the Bahamas and the Caribbean islands where low renters have destroyed those beautiful islands with trashed out properties just like these. No way will we live in such low homes.
[Friday Joke] Sarah Palin to her next door neighbor, “Did you notice more and more hockey pucks coming over into our front yards from Russia the past 2 days?” 

Fined14Let me get this straight, Rick Scott paid the highest penalty at the time for Medicaid fraud in American history and he was innocent?

O.K., now we’re down to only needing 3/32nds of a story to be considered credible in some supporter’s idea of facts. Yea, you, FTR

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.
[Doom] It looks like the developers are on the war path to throw out the locals and do what they damn well please to control the Keys and make them another Levittown Project with freaking rat boxes and holy breeding pits all over the place. The only way to save the Keys is to allow deep dredging so the rich can bring in their yachts and buy up the islands for their mansions, else the low renters will Walmart paradise and make it just like all the other trailer trash tourist dumps! Dog Save the Keys, burn the bridges!



[Captain Doom and Gloom]
DEF: Olympics n, The importance of the unimportant, the functions of the dysfunctional, displays of the absurd, the feeding of the beasts of profit!
DEF: Doctor n, Any person practicing a method of making an living while playing darts on your hind quarters!
DEF: Proctoloagent n, An employee of the IRS who takes everything you have one way or another.
DEF: Politician n, A human who has the same glistening teeth as a alligator who also wares alligator shoes!
DEF: Voting v, Any action sheeple do to support piracy with a smile.DEF: Fat Chick from NJ n, A 300+ pound ameba with feet and a fork!

To the editor, I guess somehow I must have pissed you off or maybe the pictures I have been sending aren’t hateful enough?

from the right

The other day I received the following from DeanH, it’s worth a read: “The fact is that Scott “presided over”  the whole thing. You are a typical neo-con. You don’t care if Scott is a crook as long as you like his politics. Politics for BIG BUSINESS and anti-working man.”

Dean’s thoughts are daffy, but are typical  of left wing thought and as such  are worth considering. First of all DeanH would have us believe that the person at the top of any organization is directly responsible for the acts of all who are subordinate. There is some tiny merit in that theory, but in the broad scheme of things it just isn’t true. If it were true, Obama would have direct responsibility for Eric Snowdens espionage, or any illicit activity of any Democrat politico.  A bank president would be directly responsible for thefts by a teller. Should Scott have known about the misdeeds of his subordinates? Yes, his failure to know is a failure of management, but not a crime. Scott is not a crook.

Dean accuses me of being a “neo con”. That term is often bandied about by our left field friends as a pejorative. It has a deliciously evil sound to it like the sound of “neo nazi”. But Dean is right that I am a conservative.  The term “neo” suggest “new”. I assure you that there is nothing new about me, except for a few titanium joints. I have proudly been a conservative for as long as I can remember.

Dean suggest that conservatism is nothing more than “Politics for BIG BUSINESS and anti-working man.”  Dean should remember that Democrats, liberals, have had functional control of our government for the last 7 years.

dems-suck14During those 7 years union membership has plummeted. The rich have gotten much richer and the poor have gotten even poorer. The gap between the rich and poor has never been greater. Our middle class is in decline. Since the Democrats took control of Congress in 2007 our median income has declined by $4610. Deer Friends that’s a lot of money. There are fewer people with jobs now than there were in 2007. Unemployment rates for blacks are at a near all time high. Democrat governance has screwed the middle class and the poor. Food stamp usage is at an all time high. People are flocking to the disabled ranks instead of working. Work hours are being cut. The fact is that perhaps at one time Democrats were the party of the working person, but now they are the party of the uber wealthy, the glitterati, and the university “intellectuals”.  It is no surprise that Obama’s approval rating is in the toilet. Even worse for the left wing, the Democrat party is losing its cache in its target demographic.

Priorities USA Action was the largest liberal super-pac during the 2012 presidential election cycle.  It raised over $79 million in donations and spent over $65 million in advocacy ads to reelect President Obama. The Priorities USA Action PAC, supporting Hillary Clinton for President in 2016, says it will NOT support any Democratic candidates in the off year election this November. That’s really bodes ill for our left field friends.

But what of big business.  Many don’t know that Democare has a provision to bail out health insurance companies that lose money on Democare. Certainly we all remember that it was a Democrat controlled government that bailed our General Motors and Chrysler. The first loans to GM  were at the end of GWB’s tenure with a Democrat controlled congress., but the big money, $3.1 billion came on Obama’s watch. Certainly we will all remember the TARP program that was planted on GWB’s watch but came to harvest under Obama. That program cost us billions, and had no benefits for the working man. Certainly we all remember the billions wasted on “stimulus” grants to companies big and small, most of which failed. We routinely see Obama and his cadre attending soirees hosted and funded by the uber wealthy. We see Obama and his cadre behaving as if the President was royalty. Mrs. Obama is most certainly the most extravagant First Lady in our history. Obama holds the “common man” in contempt. The difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats want to buy votes by giving hand outs and keeping the middle class from improving their lifestyle. The Republicans believe that middle class and poorer Americans need only a helping hand up not a hand out. It’s all about respect.

Please send me your comments at

be mine valintine hearts floating