2013 June

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media – Daily Since 2002

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an_texas california flag an[Comparing Bureaucracies] I’ve been spending most of the past several days shepherding paperwork through a legal process involving California and Texas ways of doing things. They don’t mesh. CA wants things signed and notarized that don’t even exist in Texas. They want 3 and 4 levels of bureaucracy to sign off on the same thing that’s done with one sheet of paper in Texas. We’re having to create new sign-off sheets to satisfy those other intermediary levels that don’t even exist in the Texas system. No wonder businesses are moving here.

[Deadly Dining] A passenger was killed and  four others hurt Thursday when their sport utility vehicle crashed into the Square  Grouper Bar and Grill at Mile  Marker 22.5


[“Stick and Stein low-life bars is closing after 38 years”] Why would you call Stick & Stein low life? They have worked there bottom off for 38 years, creating jobs, supporting local charities , providing a place to go, eat, shoot some pool, watch sporting games. Shame on you, what a mean thing to say.



Manley deBoer Lumber now has free delivery on Big Pine Key just like the old days. That’ll sure save us some bucks!

[Start to End] Today in 1914 Franz Ferdinand, Archduke of  Austria, was assassinated by a Serbian nationalist, sparking  World War I.  On that same day in 1919 the Treaty of Versailles was signed, ending that War. 

friday28It’s Friday! Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

[Child Abuse: “Every night millions of people sleep on the floor around the world.” “I am betting that the kid who slept on the floor is in good shape for it.”] Really? The two posters that made the above comments must have read a different news article, or you are friends of the creep and are starting your slam campaign early.

The issue is the Big Pine Key “father of the year” was grabbing the toddler by her torso and slamming her so hard into her makeshift floor bed that he left her bruised with his hand and finger markings, but I guess that is acceptable?

Why should she sleep on the floor when his ass sleeps in a bed?

It amazes me that people are obviously intelligent enough to operate a computer and access the internet but can only manage to read a news article to see what they want in it, and dismiss the facts that are reported that do not fit their opinion.

an man sm


[The Movies] How many movies waste the viewers time while the actor tries to hack into someone’s password. A lot!

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[Wood Pellet Plant] Complete turnkey biomass wood pellet plant live online & onsite auction in Bumpass, Virginia. Wednesday, July 17 at 10AM Inspection – Tuesday, July 16 from 9AM – 4PM.  Link


fireworks big show an

[4th of July Fireworks] Lower Keys Independence Day Celebration returns to Big Pine Key Big at the Community Park MM30 Bayside,(north end of Sands Road)Thursday, July 4th Fun begins at 5pm. Fireworks at dusk, food, drinks, fun games, prizes, live music, and free admission! (No pets, personal coolers or fireworks please)

Brought to you by Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary Club, Big Pine Fire Department and Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce For more info Bulletin Board

[Friday Joke] My memory really sucks Mildred, so I changed my password to “incorrect”. That way when I log in with the wrong password the computer will tell me, “Your password is incorrect”




[Redneck Hammock] Duct tape strikes again! 

I was thinking of buying a new computer with Windows 8.1, but decided not to because it is not up to par yet. Also there are problems installing and running my old software and drivers for my antique hardware. But the most repulsive thing I found about W8 is the layout itself. Gone are the Start button and Taskbar, and it is all but maddening to find the button to do something. No, I think I will stick with my old Vista and XP desktops until they crash. I do not like the idea of the new computer operating system removing the thinking processes and replacing it with simple minded signs on buttons. Seems too much like an Orwellian thing! Link

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[Friday Joke] A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.  After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.  True to his word, he made the first contact:  “Sue, Sue” “Is that you, George?”  “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”  “That’s wonderful!? What’s it like?”  “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again. Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”  “Oh, George, are you in Heaven?”  No, I’m a rabbit in Kansas .”




[“Big Bong Ban Begins”] Gee, I guess brownies are still legal, huh? How about a good old tobacco pipe? is that shot down too? I mix the ‘stuff’ with Double Bubble and it lasts all day! 

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Dear Ed: Are you trying to trick us? Wednesday, June 27, 2013? (Ed: Can’t fool yous guys. [Thanks for letting me know. I changed it.] I’m late again today because it just felt so nice to take my time. Sorry I made some of you loyal CTers wait so long.)

an bongos2 sm


The Ray West Band will be playing tonight at the Looe Key Tiki Bar from 7P.M. to 11 P.M., with Sammysam joining the band on the bongos. Come on down and have some food, fun, drinks, and lot’s of dancing!


If you want to give Microsoft suggestions or feedback. I’d like Word to have sheets like Excel does. It would be so handy. Link

(Ed: I hate that..I go to the site to make a suggestion and couldn’t find Word in the list, which I found odd, so I typed Word into the search box and received this result, “There are no records that match the requested criteria.” Microsoft has no search results for their most popular product! I hate computers.)

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[Free Health Fair] Florida Keys Area Health Education Center is pleased to offer a free service to our community. We will be hosting a health fair at our Marathon location, 5800 O/S HWY Suite 38. Saturday, July 6th, from 10am to 2pm. The focus will be on Breast Cancer and Osteoporosis Screenings, Skin Cancer assessments, and Smoking Cessation programs. In addition, an overall risk assessment for cardiovascular disease will be available for a small fee of $10.

For more information Bulletin Board

[Conspiracy Man] Many people out there believe that conspiracy theorists are a bunch of paranoid nut-jobs, but if it weren’t for the hush-hush secrecy the government insists on, there wouldn’t be any conspiracy theories. DARPA[?] has full control of any computer system out there. We all live in the computer age, and all of it can be hacked. Another thing that no one here has mentioned is, how safe is it for the National Security Agency to hire contractors, who actually subcontract eavesdropping to others, and what assurance is there that these contractors or subcontractors are 100% loyal to their cause? Wake up people! Video


[Friday Joke] There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a path way for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?’ He asks her ‘Shall we?’ She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.’


[Climate Change] There is no doubt that carbon dioxide levels, due to human activity, is accelerating global warming. China not the USA leads all nations in carbon dioxide emissions. In fact, developing nations lead developed nations in carbon dioxide emissions. As usual it is about money, developing nations have lenient emissions standards in order to lure industry to their countries. That is the issue to solve.

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I honked loudly at a Prius and scared the crap out of it!

Today Shows’ Matt Lauer crucifies poor ole Paula Dean for admitting using the vulgar ‘N’ word at some point in her Southern roots life, while at the same time he and the rest of the cast cuddle up to with that ex-convict Martha Stewart. Really? Give me a break, man.

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Help Wanted. Welder. Experienced aluminum TIG welder needed part time. Classified Ads

[Scam] An old, old buddy, who was as close to a conch as you can get, used to file a claim for anything on all his insurance policies until he got back enough money to pay the premiums. It works if you got balls and no morals.

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[Immigration] It sure is a shame that all those illegals are going to have to register as citizens and start paying income taxes. And with some states dropping unemployment and welfare for long term leeches. That should slow down the invasion of America just a wee bit. But then there is the drug traffic from Mexico and S. America that will never stop.




My friend’s new puppy is so small he can fit through the spaces in the fence and escape, so this was their solution.

[Tech Talk] How-to-easily-share-files-between-nearby-computers. (Ed: You’re forgetting that some of these people don’t even know what a browser is or how to turn off the computer without pulling the plug.) Link



[Stonewall Uprising] The event that started the Gay revolution in America.  American Experience/PBS. Video

Travon Martin described the man following him as “a creepy-ass cracker”, is that not a racist remark?

Old Time Radio from the 20s to 50s free. (Apple only) Link


[Insult for Insult] ] Stick and Stein is not a low life bar it is a working man’s bar where we like to shoot pool. Why do you have to be so negative? Typical bubba low life must be saying this.

an scanner (2)


[“Saving the Mangrove Tabloid”] I have a nifty new Epson printer that I bought for my architectural work. It can scan up to 11 x 17. Will that help? Would be glad to assist.

(Ed: That’d be swell. The Mangrove is tabloid size 11” X 14” and has a lot of empty border so it will easily fit your scanner. The problem is I don’t have the hours it will take to do it. If you’d like to scan them at your leisure, over time, for History’s sake, please let me know and I’ll be glad to bring them by. When done you can email me the file or I can come by and download it. I plan to add all 9 issues to the History section of

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[Creatures of the Deep] In the cold, deep waters of the Gulf of Mexico, little-known animals spend their entire lives far removed from our human world. Until now, little research has been conducted on these creatures of the deep, keeping much of their lives a mystery. Watch online



I told you to learn English

Thank you for posting my blog, God bless.


an_help-wanted-sm[Job Fair] Winn-Dixie is holding a job fair to accept applications and conduct interviews for various positions at the Big Pine Key Winn-Dixie store, located at 251 Key Deer Blvd., on Thurs., July 11 and Fri., July 12, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Winn-Dixie is recruiting for all store positions including cashiers, baggers, deli, bakery, grocery, dairy, meat and seafood departments. With competitive salaries and great benefits, the grocer hopes to fill various openings at many stores throughout the Florida Keys. Candidates should apply online or in store prior to the job fair.

To view open positions or to apply online, visit

[Happy Hour Wisdom] If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, call them later when you’re drunk.

FKAAu-ct[Captain Doom and Gloom] With the illegal’s about to get it all for free, and the rest of us footing the bill to support this trash, I think it is about time to start a American Barter System and say F/U to this ass kissing government we pay so much for. My ass hurts and I do not like it. All the bums are getting everything free or they make a few waves and the DC Suits hide in their closets. Enough already. I worked for 70 years and have paid my dues for my corner of America and I will be damned if these over breeding mutants will take my home and saving from me, especially if some bureaucrat says I have to. Never happen, never!

The Religion and Politics section has become so Left & Right and childish, I will not read anything if it starts out knocking someone or thing party-wise.

Ever wonder why some healthy foods tastes like crap and are expensive? I just had toast with breakfast and the waitress said all they had was this healthy white bread – the perfect oxymoron? – so I tried it. Gad, now I know where they recycle my paper shredder clippings. 

religion politics zone
[“Right or Wrong Arrow”] Arrow pointing left is correct. Pointing to the left is coming “from the right”. If your headline was “to” the right, then the arrow starting from the left and going to the right would be correct.

I just adore FTR and he is Right from the right, so let him have it any ole way!



[Happy Dreams of Rapeing Virgins] The men’s greatest dream is to defile 27 virgins (promised to them in death by Mohammed the sleeze). To defile young girls? is their dream? that’s their goal in life? to go to Heaven and be with Allah and f**k teenage girls? Are they crazy? If that’s their goal in the next world I know why I fear them in this one. Sheesh. As long as they think like that we’ll never never civilize Muslim men. Because they are not civilized the world will never know peace.

[“Ban Bad Food”] This post about banning bad food is typical of the idiots here, you do not understand why such bad food exist. It is to cull down the population by letting the low renters eat shit foods. If all food was healthy can you imagine the population growth? We need to cull out the trash or this planet is doomed!

[Excuse me Mr President] Earlier this week the President of the United States used a forum at Georgetown University to propose another costly program for climate change. At the end of the speech he had children standing in the back ground and said it was to protect their futures. Mr President, if you took a poll of the issues the citizens are concerned about, I think climate change would not be in the top ten of them. If you’re really worried about our children’s future start addressing the real problems facing America, high unemployment, high health care, and an expanding deficit that these children will not be able to pay off. If you want to be a leader, quit pandering to the far left of society and start working toward the real problems at hand.




[Snowden]  I have seen very little from the left about Snowden.  I wonder if it happened on Bush’s watch would we be buried in “its Bush’s fault, he’s at the top”. Nah, the lefties are open minded, wouldn’t happen.

[Freedom of the Blog] A hell of a day for Righties on yesterday’s CT, So what are your points? Can’t people say what they want to get off their chests on this thing without some jerk knocking them down? Isn’t Freedom of the Blog a new Commandment or something?

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FTR wrote the following and these are his exact words, ” let’s think about the KeyStone Pipeline.  We all know that Obama and his admin have stubbornly refused to permit the pipeline to be built. We all know that the pipeline would create tens of thousands of jobs and would be an incredible boon to our economy. But, Obama and his people have been staunch opponents of the pipeline.”

Nothing was changed or added so you folks tell me if this adds up. The Keystone pipeline is already being built folks. Any project that large must be done in phases. We all know the first step was to get around the various changes Governors in states such as Nebraska wanted to protect their environment.

Phase 1 has already become operational in June of 2010 bringing crude oil from Hardesty Canada to Patoka Ill. Not only that but phase 2 is also done and was completed February of 2011 and already routes oil from the main pipeline in Steele City Nebraska to Cushing Oklahoma. Those are American cities so how did Obama refuse those companies involved from building the pipeline.

There are people already working in those areas yet FTR is telling us Obama is keeping jobs from being created. It makes no sense. In FTR world people working means the President is stopping jobs from being created.

Phase 3 where there were delays for various reasons and where FTR most likely is getting his talking points from is indeed under construction. It will connect a pipeline from Cushing, Oklahoma to Nederland, Texas.

The only thing holding back phase 4 is awaiting approval of Congress that will create an alternate route of pipeline to connect that will cover an aquifer in Nebraska. A request by the way from Nebraskas Governor not our President

So the rhetoric of the President stopping the pipeline is simply sour grapes that are sown in the hopes that no pays attention to realities and  goes on ones words.

The pipeline as all major projects is being built and will take time to finish creating jobs on the way. Look at it this way. Look how long its taking the Keys just to get the waste water issue solved. The oil pipeline may even be done faster. 


Again reality dances away from our local blame everything on Obama guy. He told us yesterday that Obama hates gas fracking and energy and only wants green energy sources. Thing is gas fracking is cleaner energy then other fossil fuels and does help reduce our countys dependence on foreign sources.

Obama supports gas fracking to the point that environmental groups such as the Sierra Club are railing against the President. So if the hate Obama first guys and the tree huggers are all upset he must be doing something right.

In a speech Tuesday Obama praised what he called “Cleaner-burning natural gas fracking” and its role in providing safe, cheap power that can also help reduce U.S. carbon dioxide emissions. How far must a person spin those words into a belief that they are spoken from a sworn enemy of American energy? It escapes common logic.

The drilling boom has reduced oil and gas imports and generated Billions of dollars for companies and land owners. I expect that now the hate everything Obama  groupies will use that reality and spin it into Obama hates businesses. meanwhile all of those companies march to the bank and expand. They will twist some figures around and slightly change things into a new light then comment on their words and points they changed. It an old propaganda trick that is supposed to make readers believe the changes were the way things were from the start.

Our president isn’t this big ole American energy hater like we are lead to believe and its true the sooner we reduce the use of dirtier burning fuels and use other sources the cleaner emissions will be and we will be able to be better stewards of our planet. The head of the Sierra Club Deb Nardone went as far as to say “When it comes to natural gas the president is on the wrong path”. Its nice to see our local critic in agreement with the tree huggers for once concerning our President. The Associated Press whom Im sure is considered the “Liberal media” is extremely disappointed in our President.

Im getting long winded here folks so take the time and research Obamas stand on gas fracking and Americas rising energy growth. I think you will like what you see.

Help tell us wrong from right. Which image most accurately reflects  FTR’s political position? The left arrow or the right arrow. Email us your thoughts. from the right 200hfrom the right

memory-laneThe poster who yesterday wrote that Republicans “can’t let go of the past” had a point. We are anxious to return to Republican governance such as we had prior to 2007 when the Democrats seized control of Congress. In late 2007 our unemployment rate was 4.6%. Our national debt was nearly half of what it is today, our national deficit was declining, our tax revenues were increasing.

But all of that ended in January 2007 when the Democrats took control of our purse strings and spending. A really nasty fact is that they won by claiming that the Republicans were spending too much money. Immediately our federal spending sky rocketed.

We abhor the fact that with Democrat governance welfare and food stamp usage is at record highs, more than double 2007. We long to return to governance that will narrow the gap between the rich and the poor. We yearn to return to an economy where jobs were plentiful and well-paying. We abhor the fact that under this administration the poor have gotten so much poorer and the rich have gotten richer. We mourn the loss of our prosperity at the hands of Democrat governance. We mourn the erosion of our rights under this administration.

The poster was also correct when s/he wrote that Republicans “have a harder time adjusting to the present than the rest of us.” It is true that Republicans refuse to adjust to the amount of debt that is burdening our economy. We believe that it is not in our nation’s best interest, nor is it even moral to pass our debt on to our children and grandchildren. We despise the loss of America’s influence in the world. We’re deeply saddened and angered by the erosion of respect for America worldwide. We’re deeply concerned that this administration has failed miserably to even slow the growth of the power and influence of Muslim Fundamentalism. Nation after nation are falling under its thrall. We’re deeply concerned that this administration has abjectly failed to even slow Iran’s or N. Korea’s headlong rush to arm themselves with nuclear weapons.  We worry about the day that an Iranian or N. Korean nuclear device wielded by a jihadist group explodes in a ship in one of our major harbors.

Yes sir we’re enraged that in this new day of Democrat governance that the IRS is used as a weapon against those who have the temerity to have political viewpoints in opposition to the Obama administration. I recall the fate of nations who let their civil liberties and prosperity slip away while under the thrall of a charismatic leader.

We Republicans will resist, resist, and resist. We long for the good old days when were free from government spying into our lives. We can’t go back in time, but we can reclaim our lost values, our lost rights, and our lost prosperity. We refuse to acknowledge that the screwed up world that Democrat governance has delivered is the new norm.

An indication of how far out of the American ethos and law Obama has taken us is the fact that the Obama administration has lost 2/3rds of the cases that it championed in the Supreme Court. Historically the ratio is usually about 50%. It is no surprise that about 65% of Americans do not trust the Federal government.

right28Part 2) I appreciate our Deer Ed’s efforts to “punch up” FTR’s logo. I think that everyone who reads these humble postings is fully aware that they come from the Right and reflect this conservative’s point of view. I also think that it is no secret that I’m an advocate for the right, and things conservative. I’ve often posted that my purpose for these humble postings is to try to convince readers to join us on the Right. The sign/logo simply informs that a Right turn is in your and our nation’s best interests. That Deer Friends is the purpose for the “right turn only” sign/logo. FTR has no interests in anything even resembling a left turn. As a nation we took a hard left turn in 2007, look at the mess we’re in now.

Respectfully submitted:


An upcoming study in the Journal of Climate says computer models predict annual global snowfall to shrink by more than a foot in the next 50 years. The study’s author said most people live in parts of the United States that are likely to see annual snowfall drop between 30 and 70 percent by the end of the century.

The world is warming so precipitation that would normally fall as snow in the future will likely fall as rain once it gets above the freezing point, said Princeton researcher Sarah Kapnick.

Her study used new computer models to simulate the climate in 60 to 100 years as carbon dioxide levels soar. She found large reductions in snowfall throughout much of the world, especially parts of Canada and the Andes Mountains. In the United States, her models predict about a 50 percent or more drop in annual snowfall amounts along a giant swath of the nation from Maine to Texas and the Pacific Northwest and California’s Sierra Nevada mountains. Link

The antics and hoop jumping that the global warming/climate change disciples perform on almost a daily basis to convince their great unwashed bretheren of the their superior knowledge of the innerworkings of weather and its related interwoven apects relating to our little niche in the universe is indeed worthy of a few moments of truly innovative humor and displays the lenghts some of our fellow human beings will go to try to legitimize their concretized ideology, I.E. when it warms up that proves that warming is setting upon us, when it gets colder , same thing when it doesn’t rain or snow well warming is here when it does, well warming is here, ah yes of course certain elements will delight in this type of hilarity, it is also a program made to perfectly fit into a myriad of Gov. schemes a liberal politicians delight, help us defeat the rich and their raping of the planet, the naive and the low Info. types love stuff like this, as they interpret it, it gives them such a rich base for explaining so many of lifes failures.