2014 June

Friday, June 6, 2014

[Slideshow "number2" not found]

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

ddToday is the 70th remembrance of D-Day. I can only imagine what it was like for those brave men to charge up those beaches under such entrenched firepower by some of the best Germany had to offer. Imagine going to the beach and there are hundreds of guns big and small, shooting at you and you have nowhere to take shelter. Your only option is to move forward while you see your friends and comrades being killed all around you!

As one who has never seen combat I’ve often wondered if I’d have the guts to do what those brave soldiers did on that decisive day. I’m glad I’ll never know the answer.

We’re learning more from Stephen Colbert than the actual news. Video
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
I got a big surprise from Obamacare today. I have been a diabetic for thirty years and on insulin and take 180 units per day. I was informed that from now on I will get 120 units per day. Let the amputations begin. This is what happens when politicians run the medical system. Am I the victim of a death panel?
[Pepper Spray vs Gun Spray] This week’s episode of Gun Nut Killer is set in Seattle. He only had time to kill one student and wound 4 others before a student guard pepper sprayed the bad guy. I assume the NRA is calling for more guns in schools due to their deadly thinking.
Bashar al-Assad has been re-elected as President of Syria in a landslide victory where he received 97% of the vote over his opponent…oh, wait, there wasn’t an opponent!
writing sample
I read where cursive writing may help those with dyslexia so I’ve been trying it in practice, except I’ve forgotten how to write many of the capital letters. I wonder if Sister Mary Stella is still alive and can help me.
There’s an awful lot of anti-God people posting on the CT and few pro-God posts. I guess it’s easier to disprove a myth than to prove one.
[Friday Joke] When I was a kid my mom used to send me to the grocery store with one dollar. I’d come back with five potatoes, a chunk of cheese, half gallon of milk, six eggs and a candy bar. You sure can’t do that nowadays. Those grocery stores today have too damn many security cameras.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
Mike and Patti Jo Tolbert
gave away free smoked barbecue pork ribs, chicken and beef as part of the grand opening of their New Town restaurant, Daddy Bones BBQ, in 2009. Five years later, the Tolberts still work the smokers every day and deal with the daily grind of running a restaurant. On Thursday, the ice machine conked out, and the price of brisket had temporarily taken that dish off the menu. But despite being on the edge of closing up their business, which is on the market, the Tolberts spent this week planning a Sunday event that offers free hot dinners to the island’s working poor—particularly the homeless men and women. The free feast is set for 2 p.m. Sunday and will last until the pit-smoked meat runs out. (Photo by Mike Hentz/ The Citizen)
GM fired 15 people for causing 13 deaths and hundreds of injuries for failing to recall cars with faulty ignition switches.
[“NSA watching–no more porn”] You don’t have to worry about the NSA knowing your porn habits, 10% of Internet traffic is used for watching the stuff so just about everyone online is into it. At best it’s only embarrassing and eventually the hubbub will die off or you can move to Key West where they don’t care. The only thing the NSA will be concerned about (report you to the FBI) is if your watching or downloading illegal underage material from the P2P networks, TOR or via the Dark Net or creating it/sharing it with others online. There are filters in place on the Internet that look for file signatures and other attributes in the images themselves, which once the illegal material is flagged, they can watch it everywhere it goes. Otherwise about 99% of online porn sites gotten by the traditional search engine route or via random surfing are a far safer than they were in the past. They show porn on cable networks, even Netflix shows some rather graphic stuff at times. The NSA knows you watched that too and likely what DVD’s and magazines you purchased with your credit or debit card in the past. Oh yes, Big Brother has been watching us for quite some time. They are the worst perverts of them all as they’ve seen everyone’s porn preferences. Goats, sheep, dogs, camels, bikini whales, midgets, you name it.
[Joke Friday] A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?” He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?” The girl replies, “I want you to communicate your thoughts.” “Communicate my thoughts?” said a bewildered Tommy. “I have no idea what that means.”The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
Navy considers banning tobacco sales on bases.
lie6[More gun nuts killing people in Seattle and Canada] I wish I had one of those polygraph machines to see if the gun nuts who post here really believe the words they type. It’s hard to take seriously any of the posts about how arming citizens protect the US (WW2 – are you serious? that was 70 years ago!) and the facts on documented cases (I don’t think it’s a fact if you say there’s hundreds of news articles.). Seriously, it’s scary if some of these posters live here – they are as unstable as the guy in Seattle today.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
billy the wanted poster6
[Celebrity Drunks Relate History] I had never heard of this series, but the clips are pretty funny.  Start with getting a ‘celebrity’ drunk and film them telling a story from history.  Use that as a script and have it acted out.  The result: Video
[“Dropped cable and dish”] What channels do you get? (Ed: None if he’s in the Keys. We are 160 miles or so from the nearest transmitter. Antennas don’t work here so we are slaves to paid services.)
[Friday Joke] One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, ‘I’m too young to die,’ she cried. Then she yelled, ‘If I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?’
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then the man from Texas stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved.
He removed his shirt. muscles rippled across his chest. She gasped…
Then, he spoke,  ‘Iron this — and then get me a beer.’
[Life is a breeze in the Florida Keys] After working Coconuts for 20 years, I have been Captaining for Florida High Adventure Sea base the last 10. Thanks for the break Meri-Lynn. As you can see, I love my job. Both dolphin hit a Billy bait, one was legal one was undersize. We thought it would make a fun photo. 2 for 1. We kept a few dolphin and one Mutton snapper along with a very nice Wahoo.
[Your Food] 10 corporations control much of everything we buy in the grocery stores. Click to see the bizarre chart. Link
[Dating] Oh how I wish the date were correct: May 5, 2014.  But, alas, we can’t go back!  It’s June 4, 2014. (Ed: Damn, it’s that pesky time-continuum thing I’m plagued with. I’ll change it now. Thanks.)
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
antenna6[“We dropped cable TV”] You must be back home, up north and out of Monroe County. Back in the 80’s when Harte Hanks began his cable TV company in Miami and Key West, all of our roof mounted VHF/UHF TV antennas were able to pick up the Miami local networks, which were bounced from translator tower to tower throughout the Keys.

In the 90’s when TCI Cable purchased Hanks Cable TV company in the Keys, TCI deliberately shut off the local transmissions bounced through the towers from Miami. TCI Cable did this so everyone living in the Keys had no choice, but to subscribe to TCI Cable. This continues today with Comcast.

If anyone in the Keys mounts a roof antenna, all they will receive is the tourist station on channel 5, the Spanish station on channel 8 and WEYS channel 19 up to MM20. That’s it!

You forgot to mention that your antenna was up north; somewhere where they have free to air TV available. You might have lead people to believe this can be done down here, especially if subscribers cancel their TV subscriptions.  Then they will have to pay a reconnect fee. Not counting the cost of purchasing a roof mounted antenna and the cost of having it installed.

alien inspects caveman
[This week’s murderous gun nuts] In the future people will look back to the time when primitive peoples allowed weekly rampages, kids being killed, and drive by shootings as a time of hysteria and paranoia fueled by perverted interpretations of their founding documents.
[Driving while Phoning] On this day in history 1465 Americans were killed by guns and today and every day 11 teenagers will die by cell phone -distracted driving. That’s over 4000 per year. What if one of those were your child or grandchild? When will common sense prevail with our elected? Not until one of theirs is taken.
blakened-mahi-pineapple-salsaTGIF from Springers Bar and Grill. Today we have a great special for you, blackened mahi with a pineapple avocado salsa. The sweet and slightly spicy flavor is sure to be a palate pleaser. Come and enjoy with us.

Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s Always Something Special at Springers

[Gun in toy dept] Police are investigating how a loaded gun wound up among children’s toys at a Target store in South Carolina.
bacon frying
[“Department of Bacon”] I have no use for the political rumblings of the mental midgets that post here, but if you want to start a Department of Bacon section, I’ll read it religiously!
[Sewers] After almost eighteen months of fighting the proposed pressure sewer system using grinder pumps, I am finally witnessing a new “gravity” system being installed in front of my home. Our team, at the Sir Isaac Newton Coalition, along with other groups fought this absurd plan to install hundreds of miles of pressurized sewage lines using plastic pipe on a string of islands next to the largest “living” reef in the US. A system that, as designed, is sure to fail, with no way of ever being able to identify leaks, and with a life cycle costing twice that of a gravity system. We were partially successful, having reduced the number of homes slated to receive grinders by about half. However, a pressure system with grinder pumps, rated as the least favorable to the environment, is still being provided to 1,500 homes, most of which are within a few feet of the coastal waters or the Big Pine National Wildlife Refuge. The fight continues and hearings begin on August 4th related to challenges to the permits being requested for the Big Pine Key area, which is the home of numerous endangered species and holds the largest freshwater lens in the Keys. In my forty years of working on hundreds of utility projects, this ranks as the most idiotic and embarrassing project I have ever witnessed.
[“Prisoner swap”] I am confident that the al Qaeda top echelon will welcome the 5 Gitmo guys back into their inner circle and will show them all their latest  plans for attacking American interests.
[‘Genital mutilation”
] I don’t know why female genital mutilation is wrong and circumcision is good. I don’t know what the difference is between female genital mutilation and circumcision. Both mutilate the sex organs. Female genital mutilation and is for a sexual reason (It deprives a woman pleasure with the thought that she won’t fool around outside the marriage bed). Circumcision is a religious mutilation. The tradition has it’s roots long ago when people didn’t know about sanitation and many men had infections down there from not washing it properly. Today we have soap.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
Your micro aggressions manifest themselves in trigger words. Any word could possibly hurt someone’s feelings somewhere at sometime in someway.
[Universal Jihad] The Israeli-Palestinian issue has nothing to do with Jew versus Muslim. I no longer believe that there is an Israeli and Palestinian conflict, or an India-Pakistan problem, or a Serbian-Bosnian conflict…there is only universal Jihad.
[Sgt Bergdahl] It’s quite amazing how the media have tried, convicted and sentenced Sgt Berghdal based on no information yet. They can’t wait to discover the truth.
1 crownDid you know that Consumer Cellular has been rated the #1 cell phone service in the U.S. four years in a row. Phone prices start as low as $34.99 and no contract is required. The service can be as low as $10 per month. Smart phones are available and AARP members get a special discount on their monthly service. You can also add a 2nd phone to your account for only ten dollars more per month and be able to call each other for free. Consumer Cellular is available at the RadioShack in Big Pine Key right next to Winn Dixie. Stop by or give us a call for more information. We are open 7 days 9am to 7pm and 10am to 4pm on Sundays. 305-872-4267
[“Spying on us”] No more porn and no more all night gambling online for me. Why not? 50% or more of all web use is for porn or gambling. It is the nuts who rock the boat politically and religiously that they watch. Gun nuts are scary on both sides of the fence, but note who starts all the wars and crap. Holly rollers with political ties and guns!
[“Micro-aggression”] This is becoming a ‘in’ thing because the media needs more propaganda to dumb down the sheeple. Micro-aggression was coined by some idiot with a Micro-Thingy in his shorts, bet on it!
[“Provide a drunk tank for homeless addicts; Jesus in the Gospels was homeless”] We must take into consideration that Jesus in the Gospels did not need a drunk tank. If the homeless walked around doing good and performing a miracle or two here and there, there wouldn’t be any homeless because society would embrace them. Until that day I say boo on the homeless.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
We have iguanas, but New Jersey has much worse — Jersey women and the Jersey Devil. If those two ever mate we are in big trouble!
I tried to do the antenna move from cable and Kevin at Radio Shack said they do not work in Big Pine.
The Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council, working with public and community experts, is developing recommendations for changes to sanctuary marine zones and regulations. Using direction from the sanctuary management plan, the advisory council’s marine zoning and regulatory review goals and objectives, and public comments, the council has identified priority issues to be addressed through working groups and workshops. Information or advice resulting from working group discussions is presented to the council at its bi-monthly meetings, and may be incorporated or modified when the council makes recommendations to the sanctuary superintendent.

Ecosystem Protection: Ecological Reserves, Preservation Areas and Wildlife Protection Working Group meetings are being held regionally with last meeting held in the middle Keys as a central location. All meetings are open to the public and there is a public comment period scheduled during each meeting.  Link

[Happiness by Fiat] Yes, doing the right thing always, regardless of the consequences, seems like a pretty simple solution to humanity’s woes. Let’s set up a blue ribbon committee of our fellow citizens and we can all decide what is right and what is wrong, Bingo! peace and tranquility will dwell in the land now and for ever more. Funny that no one ever thought of doing this before.
[More bar wisdom] Coasters are for people who need to put their drink down.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email. All emails go to the Editor and all emails get read.
, then and now. Very interesting. Link
[“Key West needs more affordable rental housing”] How come the low renters always defend the useless eaters and the dysfunctional with this crap? People are getting sick and tired of having to support inept do nothings and watch our Paradise turn into a One Human Family concentration camp of junk people. Seems only the holy’s want to make the workers suffer as they do with their frustrations and charities. Leave our islands alone and move to some country that needs your warped ideals and gospel crap!
National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil. I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here
Did you know the right won’t watch al Jazeera News because they are opposed of different ideas?
Saw the pictures of the US Navy ship Spearhead on the front page of the Citizen.  I was glad to see the Navy has finally updated their crewmen uniforms making them more stylish and individually self expressive, as well as tropically compatible, comfort wise.   I am sure Obama had something to do with it.
The Global Warming gig is a riot and the idiots who say it is not real have to be stock holders in oil and other Earth poisoning companies. You cannot be serious that all the chemicals we humans are dumping into the air, water and earth are not destroying our rock!. Greed will be the death of humanity, greed for monye and power. Between the plastics, the oil fumes, the nuke waste and careless use of our natural resources this rock is not going to make it much longer. I am glad I am old and will not see the oceans die, the air so deadly you cannot breath it, the land sterilized by human waste and garbage. Do I care about the next generations who will suffer with all this self-destruction? No and tough shit, you asked for it, now fix it if you can, because I am going to Happy Hour to drown my sorrows in my kind of poison!
As usual the Cons said nothing when Bush released hundreds of detained terrorists from GITMO but Obama trades 5 for an American and its the greatest tragedy ever. So transparent. Another case of the right using American lives for political purposes. Were used to it now.
from the right
A POSTER WROTE: “Goering, Himmler, Goebbels, Rommel, and Von Runstedt.  When you exaggerate your point to where it becomes ridiculous your argument loses all validity.  You are correct I should not have said stupid. To compare these people from the Taliban to Nazi war criminals is an insult to history.

FTR’S RESPONSE:  I find it astonishing that the only issue that the poster has is whether or not there is historical moral equivalency between the Taliban terrorists and the Nazi terrorists. Only that and nothing more.

The real issue is that Mr. Obama has released, to fight, to mastermind, to command, and to kill Americans and all those who refuse to accept Islam. He has made a swap for an American military deserter. Our valiant military made every attempt to rescue this deserter, resulting in the deaths of as many as 14 valiant American warriors.

Sgt-Bowe-Bergdahl6Obama made that swap strictly for political purposes, and it blew up on him. And so he and his are once again engaging in a massive campaign of lies and cover up. Obama’s actions in making that swap were absolutely illegal, and may well be grounds for impeachment. His actions were beyond reprehensible. Even Hillary Clinton is distancing herself from this lunatic act that is absolutely certain to cost the lives of Americans and any who refuse to accept Islam.

As of yesterday it was reported Bergdahl had converted to Islam and had developed a collegial relationship with his captors.

As of yesterday it was reported that his captors have been bragging that they now have even more incentive to kidnap Americans.

The uproar concerning this latest Obama screw up is growing by the hour and the howls are coming from high level Democrats and Republicans.

And, what of the American active duty Marine who is languishing in a Mexican jail?

Yes, it is astounding that the poster is concerned only with which set of monsters are more monstrous.

National Politics. Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil.  I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here