2012 November

Friday, November 30, 2012

(The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays-December 1, 2012)

[Snowbirds in Bicycle Spandex] Here in the Adirondack Mountains I see those same folks in the summertime. We giggle because at night while we’re still in flip-flops and t-shirts, they’re dressed warmer than we do when it’s 20 below in February. I’m flexible as a host to the summer people here just as most Keys folks are when I take my February off from ridge building to kick back in the Keys. Thank you Keys folks for making my time off a great time! I do my bit in return as well.

[Crooks] Most stolen boats in the US in 2011 were from 3 cities in Florida: Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and our very own Marathon!

The boat FUNYET is local. The Captain and I were chatting last night about how tuff it is with such a bad month to make ends meet in charter fishing. This November has been exceptionally windy and there have been no charters. The payments keep coming. New shiny outboards come with a big price tag. Dockage, insurance and general upkeep are costly. Sport fishing is romantic from afar. Up close, it’s a hard way to make a living. You have to love it or you just won’t last.

So, my friends, this is a shameless plug for our local charter fisherman. Get your family and friends to charter a local guide. Start with Capt John on FUNYET. You will have a great day out front or in the back country.   PS : Stop by Coconuts and spend some time and your hard earned cash with a local business, almost 30 years of “Rockin’ you right at the light”  Above all have a great Christmas season.  ~Joe / Coconuts   

[“Snowbirds getting all dressed up in their snowbird costumes of Spandex and Lycra with their sleek helmets, gloves and elbow pads just to ride their $500 bicycles on the bike path alongKey Deer Blvd”] I thought the same thing when I noticed the road crew green and hunter orange shirted folks riding the tame streets of my island too. Helmets, knee pads, elbow pads and bright colors; a bunch of geriatrics that have bought into the same protective crap sold to their grandchildren. Let’s bet they hit the cheap taco nights and drink and drive though.  All that safety gear makes for what’s left of life with no adventure. They aren’t the Keys people of Christmas past.


New to K.W. the K.W. Film Festival. Link

Homestead National Guard to deploy to Afghanistan. Link

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The world will end in 23 days on December 21, the Winter Solstice.


What happened to Sony? About ten years ago almost every electronic thing I had was made by Sony, today I don’t even have one.

Could NNK Incorporate by Majority Vote?  If so, they then would have complete control over their island, their electric, their development, their future, right?  What is stopping them

I am the lucky Captainwith the shiny new outboards that were mentioned in yesterdays post. While I am not sure of the reason for pointing my new investment out, I will take this opportunity to let everyone know what a great investment that these Evinrude E-TEC outboard motors are. I have been in the charter fishing business for over thirty years and the vast majority of that here in the beautiful Lower Keys. In that time I have come to appreciate the value of fuel economy, durability, power (best low end torque in the industry), lightweight, quiet operation and superior warranty that the E-TEC offer. Another point that I would like to make is that luck has nothing to do with it. I study long and hard and choose my investments wisely and this is a long term investment for sure. 

A special thanks to the gang at the Sea Cente rfor the expert rigging and service that I have received over the years. If anyone is looking for new power this is the only way to go, If you are looking for used power, I have for sale 2 2007 175 hp E-TEC 25 inch shaft motors Give me a call (305) 872-3407 

[Hell on Wheels (and Tires)] You can smell the rubber burning as you watch. Must view on full screen. What a ride! What a driver! You’d have to wear Depends to ride with this guy. I’ll bet you can’t watch just once. It sounds like the little car is running bad. One reason it sounds like it is cutting out is because the rev limiter keeps the R.P.M. from going too high and blowing the motor. The other popping sound is the wastegate on the turbo. Also note at the very end, the sparks coming from the rear wheel rims as the tires burn down. This guy’s hell on tires! Link


Marathon gathers for arrival of Santa & Mrs. Claus. Link

[Quack] Duck savior reduex. Link

[“Imagine what these politians would accomplish”] … if there were term limits and they didn’t have to raise funds all the time for reelection.

[Crooks] Monroe County should adopt real purchasing guidelines that would include a “Cone of Silence” rule prohibiting commissioners and the administrator from communicating with a potential vendor, service provider, bidder, lobbyist, or consultant until staff publicly issues their recommendation.  Of course, this would kill the social life of some commissioners and the administrator.  No more free lunches or luxury golf trips.  Then they would really have time to read their meeting agendas. 

[“Where to buy 2″ rigging hose”]  At your local trailer park supply. Use 2″ flex sewage line. 


The RadioShack store in Big Pine now sells the new iPad Mini, the newest iPad, Kindle Fire HD and the hard to find Sprint iPhone5. Avoid the traffic and shop local. Your local business owners need everyone’s support this Holiday Season.

For the guy who needs 2″ rigging hose to conceal outboard control cables. I have ordered from Glen Marine Designs, 9152Rosecrans Ave. Bellflower, CA. Phone 562-630-6258. They ship UPS and their prices are very low! Give them a call, I was very satisfied.

Sunday Keys Film Series focuses on Earth. Link


I saw a TV clip of Dolly Parton being interviewed on Fox News.   They tried to set her up with a question about some social issue.  Dolly came back by telling them she would leave stuff like that up to people who liked to “bitch” like them, while pointing at them.  Gretchen and crew didn’t know whether to crap or go blind, almost falling off the couch.  That gave me a whole new perspective on Dolly, sure do like her now.

What the World needs is a combination cell phone and coffee mug so we can text and drink coffee at the same time while we are driving.


Is this what men should look like? Lets all get in touch with our girly side! Whee!

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Fort Taylor Pirate Invasion. Nov. 30th-Dec. 2nd    Link

Congress looks at doing away with the $1 bill. So what are we supposed to do at “Teasers”? 

Mr. Pot Head, Why don’t we simply abolish all laws and then there will be a 100% drop in crime, everywhere?


Cobra cage clean-up man. This fellow here has nerves of steel. Notice the Cobras standing up watching him work. Whatever this dude’s salary is, he definitely isn’t paid enough for this job. Next time you start to complain about your job think of this poor fella. Link

[“2″ Rigging Hose”] A hose to conceal your outboard motor hoses and cables is one way to do it. Another way is a coil of black plastic that wraps snugly around the cables, contracts to look like a hose, and is easy to put on and take off. I got mine at Sea Centerwhen my new E Tec was installed. They either sell it, or can tell you where to get it. I like it, that’s why I making the pitch


Psy – Gangnam Style (강남스타일). The most popular video of all time! Link

[Snowbirds] I also laugh at the “serious” bicycle riders who dress, in Blazing Saddle terms, as “Kansas Cityfaggots”. They rarely exceed 10 mph so all of that equipment for reducing wind resistance doesn’t mean squat. I think they all imagine themselves to be Lance Armstrong. I have seen the same idiocy in diving outfits. I love trendy!

[Veterans Administration] (My sister helps out an older lady she knows–Alice.  She wrote this yesterday.) The VA system is not the best, but I’m pleased to hear they made a bit of a fuss.  Very considerate.  I had to be at Alice’s at noon to take her in for blood work.  The doctor is perusing something she found after the last visit and decided she needed a whole bunch more blood to look for a problem.  Luckily, we were able to go to a V.A. place in Texas City rather than go all the way up to Houston again.  We had never been to the Texas City clinic, so that was a new adventure.  We walked in and had to take a number like we were at a deli.  Then we sat and waited for her number to be called.  That was just to check in that we were there.  After more of a wait, an older guy that looked like he was overseeing the place, came out and announced they were privileged to have a WWII vet with them today, and introduced Alice.  After some applause and some interviewing of her, we were back to waiting.  She was proud and the vets were in awe.  The older vets there were probably Vietnam vets.  A young guy there said he was 22 and had been in Afghanistan, so was amazed about a WWII vet.

Van Morrison – Summertime In England Link

[More Bar Wisdom] My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy. I came back drunk.

Security flaw in common keycard locks exploited in string of hotel room break-ins. Link

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Photo of your first date in a thong!

[“Why is it that teenagers are innocent no matter what they do”] Why is it that the communities of these teens march in protest asking for justice to be served when it was? This guy is Houston lost his job after he delivered on a dude when the young man through two short elbows into his jaw.  Take notice, of who the aggressors and victims are in each case. There’s a pattern here. Link


[“Raise your right foot off the floor and rotate your foot in a clockwise rotation …”] This effect is partly due to the normal difference in height between hand and foot. That difference, in conjunction with gravity and the earth’s rotation, is enough to affect the body’s highly sensitive limb rotation mechanisms. if you eliminate this difference (for instance, by lying down and holding your right leg and arm at about the same height),your right foot will be unaffected. However, if you reverse this height difference (for instance, by positioning your right leg above your head and your right hand nearer the floor),the effect will be even more marked. This is probably because, with this posture, your head is in a silly position too.

[Holy, Holy] I once had a Jewish friend who had left Judaism and had become deeply involved in the New Age religion, yoga, taoism and natural foods and purified water. He was super-reactive to anything that smacked of discrimination against Jews, racism against Jews, or of the Holocaust, even though he was born over a decade after the end of World War II. He became one of the people Jesus and Michael were taking in the same direction they were taking me. My friend knew who had grabbed hold of him, and after some struggle and lashing out at me, he surrendered to it. He was quick to lash out at me if I said or did anything that punched his spiritual or Jewish buttons. Maybe that was why Jesus and Michael started working directly with him. Anyway, one day my friend told me that he was right then hearing from the aforementioned beings that the reason for the Holocaust in Germany, and also in Russia, which was about as severe as what happened in Germany, and for the Jewish diaspora generally, was karma for the Jews rejecting the Christ – what Jesus represented, his way of living. I had thought that for a few years, but had not dared say it to my friend. But when he heard it from his spirit controllers, he was blown away, collapsed and accepted it without any protest. 

I can tell lots of stories like that one, where someone I knew very well was confronted by said heavenly beings and was blown away. It used to happen a lot more than it does now. I can’t say why it happens less now. Many times have I been told by the same blowers away that the US needs to get out of the Middle East altogether and let Israel and the Arabs work it out or shoot it out without the US helping Israel in any way. As for on the UN voting yesterday to recognize Palestine as a separate state: What’s the US and Israel’s beef? The French and the British, with plenty of nods from the US, made Israel a free state in Palestine without asking the Palestinians how they felt about it. And they did it because they, including America, did not want to receive millions of Jewish refugees in to their countries. 

I Won The Power Ball! Yes I got the Power Ball number 6 for $3 lousy freaking dollars after spending over $20 on stinking tickets. I make a motion that no lottery winner gets over $1 million dollars and if the input is like this last rip off, there should be 550, million dollar winners, just like the old days. Then this might be worth the stinking gas to go buy a ticket.


Daddy Bones wants our up the Keys friends to know if you would like to have a party or event catered or have a big group fed, we will gladly run orders of $100 or more any where south of the 7 Mile Bridge. Our normal deliver-anything area is north to Key Haven. (Pictured: Wanda the wonder server)

[“2″ rigging hose”] Try the pool supply store on Kennedy Drive In Key West and see if they have some old pool vacuum hose. That might work.


There’s a new face at the police farm, Maddie.    Link

Springers ought to switch ends, that is to say, make what is now the cramped bar area the into a dining room, and make what is now the dining area into a flexible, uncramped, bar-dining area.

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Homestead National Guard unit deploys to Afghanistan. It’s still happening! Link

[Lost Hat] My name is Bridget Hughes and on Monday November 26 at around 12:30 a.m. I was at the B7 gate in Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport waiting to board U.S. Airlines flight 2918 to El Paso. My flight was cancelled. In all of the chaos that ensued me getting my new ticket and my hotel voucher I lost one of the most valuable things I own. It is a simple knit brown floppy hat from the Gap (pictured below). My mother passed away from Breast Cancer when I was 7. This is the hat she wore most often during her chemo treatments. My aunt gave it to me when I moved away after I graduated from college. It was one the only possession of hers I could constantly carry with me. I checked the gate the next morning, the hotel, and my shuttle van. It was nowhere to be found. I’ve contacted the Phoenix Airport Lost and Found, but I doubt I’ll hear back from them. So, I’ve turned it over to the power of social media, all for a hat that represents the fierce goofy independent spirit of a woman that is my mother. If anyone is willing to just share this status, I’ll be really grateful.

[“Snowbird Bicycling”] It is funny to see snowbirds in their Plastic People biking outfits and seat-less bikes. What fits, fits!


[F**k the Duck]  These Amphibians were all over Seattle and the north west coast line to Alaska. Like what the hell can you see from a pitching rocking monster like that in 10 foot seas on the Pacific NW. Tourists will pay for anything including to get sea sick.

Big Box store update.   Link

[“There was an odd occurrence yesterday at Picnic Island”]  Every occurrence at Picnic Island Is odd!



Mercury has emerged into fine view low in the dawn, lining up with Venus and Saturn. Watch all week as the line lenghtens; Saturn (and Spica) move higher to the upper right. The blue 10° scale is about the width of your fist at arm’s length.

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Mitt Romney should take over the post office. Maybe he could fix the mess.


Everyone votes in Socialist Austria. If you don’t vote you are fined 100 Shillings.


[Tax Conspiracy] Getting the rich to pay more is not some conspiracy of “jealously or envy” as someone wrote, but a fair way to adjust the tax fairness of the IRS and to help our country in our time of need. Try looking at it like the rest of us patriots do.

Hitler is really pissed off for losing the election to a Kenyan Muslim with no birth certificate who wants to impose martial law and confiscate our guns and turn the country Socialist and give out food stamps. Link

Its really not a nuanced eye that is needed to figure out why Romney lost. Thats like trying to find the golden needle in the proverbial haystack. Romney was elected Governor of Massachusettes. The people that he governed didnt think he was fit to be President. They voted for Obama. Romney also had ties to michigan. They didnt think he was capable of doing the job. Paul Ryan is a politcian in Wisconsin. They have a first hand look at his abilities. They didnt think he was a good choice.

Folks that try and over think the demographics and use the lame excuse of “Uhhh he won the rich people vote” are only trying to make themselves feel as if they are the more qualified and better suited to pick a President then the rest of us.

You cannot be better suited to vote for a man unless you have lived in his area while he is governing. Romney failed that test.

I also find it interesting that of the 10 wealthiest counties in the country Obama won 8 of them. Kind of kills the rights desperate rhetoric of only the poor voted for Obama.

Maybe just maybe Romney lost because Americans didnt want a 2 for 1 discount coupon for their insurance and didnt buy the “We wont tell you what deductions we will eliminate until after we are elected” silliness. Romney was a only a bumper sticker candidate with slogans and no concrete plans and Americans saw thru it.

I do hope the right continues on with the “Obama only won because poor black hispanic females with 8 kids and huge 1970s cadillacs” voted for him mentality because it makes them look like great politcians from the 1940s.

Americahas always found its path thru the world with ever changing demographics and became a stronger nation. It will always be that way. No matter how hard some people will fight it. But as a Moderate democrat I can only say “Fight on Anti Obama cool guys you were a great help in this past election”. 

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From the Right

Those folks who have no interest in politics or who is really running their lives are missing out on a lot. The deception and drama that is today’s DC towers over the mush that is on TV.  Those of you who are aware of our fiscal dilemma certainly know that we are threatened with an across the board tax increase. That means a tax increase for virtually every one of us.  Along with the tax increase will come massive spending cuts.  That event will be the “sequestration” that we hear so much about. Every economist insists that if sequestration comes to pass we will plummet into a recession that will dwarf the recession that Obama now owns. It will happen unless the Dems and the Repubs can come to common ground. It is the fiscal equivalent of the doomsday machine. The only way that sequestration can be avoided is if the Reps and the Dems come to quick agreement on legislation to change our spending and taxing. It will result in the death of the Bush era tax cuts and will impact every single American.

Until very recently, the Republicans stated that they will refuse to pass any legislation that increases the tax rates on anybody. The Repubs have demanded substantial cuts in Federal spending. But they say that they are ready to legislate new revenue sources. They will not permit a tax rate hike that is aimed that the people who create jobs.   It has been that simple.

Until very recently the Dems have stated that they will take us to sequestration unless we raise taxes on about  1-2% of our population.  The Dems demand that everybody be hurt unless they can hurt just a few. It has become sparking clear that the reason for the Dem intransigence is class warfare and/or the liberal demand for redistribution of wealth.  We know that because even they agree that the amount of new revenue that would be realized by increasing taxes on the “wealthy” is so tiny that it would run our federal government for about a week. of our government spending. Deer Friends that is .019% of the spending by Team Obama.  As to spending, they have said that they will not cut any spending.

The Dems have now changed their positions.  They still demand that the few be punished. But now they have upped their revenue demands, The insist that major brand new taxation be imposed on the “wealthy”. The new taxation they demand will be on top of the rate increase that they had been demanding.

Incredibly, while they demand new taxes, they insist on adding huge amounts of Federal spending. They now demand yet another round of “stimulus”. I trust you will remember that squandering trillions of stimulus funds has not rehabilitated our economy. Please remember that the recession has been over for 3 years and 6 months. Our Democrat friends are also demanding a huge increase in our borrowing limits. We now are, with more than $16 trillion in national debt, on the cusp of exceeding our legal debt limit.  It appears that the Democrats are dead set on dragging our economy even deeper that it is.  Why?

The fiscal cliff is dead ahead, and it is looking like Democrat greed and hate is going to push us over the edge. So be it.


No Name Key Electric – If they rewrite the comprehensive plan for these individuals who bought home where they knew in advance that there would be no power extended, then I propose we do away with Rogo points as well. Rogo is only legalized bribery to buy land and bribe the county with it to use your own land that the BOCC don’t think you should be building on in the first place. Maybe we land owners should ban together and sue the BOCC and Monroe County to restore our property rights! If these home owners can use the argument to change the rules for the few then I want my rights to do what I want with my property also. I wonder how legal Rogo is anyway? well we can always let the lawyers figure out if the BOCC is violating we land owner constitutional rights! It will only cost the rest of you property owners your tax money to fight us landowners who want our rights restore. So what if it drags on for years if it’s good enough for the NNK people it will be good enough for the rest of us who want our rights too!