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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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 [Special Update Saturday, September 2, 2023] Billionaire singer/songwriter/developer Jimmy Buffett, legendary ‘Margaritaville’ singer, dies at 76. The singer, who dubbed his brand of music “drunken Caribbean rock ‘n’ roll,” was also an astute businessman with a sprawling restaurant, resort and radio empire. He got his start in Key West. He passed to another dimension where he continues to look for his lost shaker of salt. Link |
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 County’s Mega Monster for Flooding Roads Monroe County created a mega monster of a road fix for flooding which has failed to do anything to help routinely flooded neighborhoods. Eight years after declaring the neighborhoods of Twin Lakes and Sands (Big Pine) a high priority flooding fix test, with millions paid to consultants and planners, nothing is accomplished. The proposed system includes a pollution treatment device, an elevated pump station with a backup emergency generator, pumps, piping, controls, instrumentation, drainage structures, and injection well(s) for the final disposal of treated stormwater. This is something you would see use in big city concrete jungles for their flooding issues. These are excessive requirements which US1 and its bridges in this county do not have to comply with. The cost of this equipment is so high it has turned a simple road fix into millions of dollars. The Sand’s flooding test project’s original cost was valued at about 6.7 million. Currently, the bid for Sands is about $23,000.000. That’s more than triple the original estimate. Twin Lakes has not even gotten to the bidding point. Citizens have requested the county to drop the high dollar equipment and do a simple fix of fill, crown, and repave. However, BOCC and county staff seem to be entrenched in their own flawed idea. Totally an unnecessary situation with vehicle losses to residents.The Sustainability department of the county is behind the mega monster test plan for flooded roads in these neighborhoods, and for future work on other flooded roads in the county. Stillwright neighbors, beware! Their stated goal is “These small stretches of road are test cases for the county. Monroe hopes to use lessons learned here on the rest of the roads that climate change will swamp in the years to come” according to the Miami Herald. Now the county is dangling road repair to entice your vote on their new desire to become a Charter County. Wake up people and learn the taxation abilities of a Charter County that has no over-site from the  state. A Trojan horse gifting citizens easy recall of commissioners and to do an easy transportation tax to help with roads, lol. And more insulting, the BOCC approved a renewed membership for $300,000 to the Southeast Florida Regional Climate Change Compact. How many truckloads of fill at the intersections of Shaw, Crane, and Adams would $300,000 pay for? Where is the priority of this BOCC when they would rather bake large Key lime pies, put on light shows, buy expensive memberships, but nothing for the suffering of their constituents. Join our endeavors email keysfloodedroads@gmail.com |
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| [Volunteers Wanted] The Monroe County COAD organization works closely with local county and municipal emergency management and State and Federal organizations to prepare our community for disasters and to activate immediately following a disaster to provide resources to survivors. The goal is to work proactively during blue skies to be ready to hit the ground running at the time of a disaster. Link |
 A high-speed rail line in California is chugging along towards 2030 debut. The state’s High-Speed Rail Authority will soon begin accepting proposals from electric train manufacturers ahead of a proposed 2030 debut. Link |
| [Restaurant Review] We ate and drank at The Bent Prop in Cudjoe Gardens next to the marina. The dining room is beautiful, and the bar is air conditioned and open to the outside with a wide roll up screen. That’s the first bar I’ve been to that takes full advantage of the outdoors while still air conditioning the bar. It’s a really nice place for drinks although the bar rum was the worst I’ve ever had. It tasted more like tequila than rum. They didn’t have prosecco which every other bar offers, and the champagne was flat and tasted like Chablis. The same can be said of the food. It was okay but we wouldn’t eat there again. Who wants “ok” at those prices? The fish sandwich barely covered the bun and I think the fish was too long in the boat without being gutted and had an iodine taste to it. ~tm2112@hotmail.com |
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| [“Sneaky Add-on Charge”] I made an appointment at Cruz animal hospital for my sick pet and they said the earliest they could fit me in was at 5:30. When I got the bill there was a $104 surcharge for an “after hours” visit. No one told me it was after hours or that there was a $104 added charge. Sneaky bastards. ~b33043@outlook.com |
 [Bugatti V-16] What’s a V8 engine doubled? The Bugatti Chiron Super Sport’s W16. We drove a $4 million Bugatti featuring diamond membranes in the sound system and a W16 engine made up of 3,500 parts. Link |
| [Customer Service] I phoned the doctor corporation on Big Pine Key and the (paraphrased) recording said leave your number and we’ll call you back when it’s convenient for us. |
Starry Night by Vincent Van Gogh as rendered in bacon. |
| [Awful Thought for Today] We are not living longer we are dying longer. Life expectancy is rising, but we are also spending more time living in poor health. |
 [Brain Worms] Australian doctors find a 3-Inch-long live worm in a woman’s brain. Surgeon Hari Priya Bandi was performing a biopsy through a hole in the 64-year-old patient’s skull at Canberra Hospital last year when she used forceps to pull out the parasite, which measured 8 centimeters, or 3 inches. Video“And the worms ate into his brain” — Pink Floyd |
| [More Crappy Thought for Today] “We are not living longer we are dying longer.” Life expectancy is rising, but we are also spending more time living in poor health. |
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| [Friday Joke] A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?” |
Tupperware for men. |
| Hurricane evacuation saves lives. Floridians were told to evacuate for Idalia. They did, and death toll is zero. Video |
 “Massive emergency alert test will sound alarms on every US phone, TV and radio on Wednesday, October 4 at 2:20 pm ET. Every TV. radio and cell phone in the United States will blare out the distinctive, jarring electronic warning tone of an emergency alert, accompanied by a notice.” Remember the movie The Time Machine with Rod Taylor when the sirens would blare and the Eloi were called underground to be eaten by the Morlocks. |
| Woman dies after snorkeling off Cudjoe Key. A woman died at a Florida Keys hospital after being found unresponsive near the sea bottom during a snorkeling trip Monday afternoon, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Jennifer McLalin, 49, of Port Charlotte, died at Lower Keys Medical Center in Key West around 3:40 p.m., the sheriff’s office said. She was with a group of people snorkeling from a rented boat in the Gulf of Mexico off Cudjoe Key when she was found near the bottom by other snorkelers. Link |
 [Walk] Just 2,400 steps will help. If you’re not hitting 10,000 steps a day, don’t sweat it. That supposedly magical number for optimal fitness was actually made up back in the 1960s by Japanese marketing executives promoting a new pedometer.Now the largest study of its kind—covering data on more than 225,000 people across multiple countries——has shown that the real daily target should be much lower: just 2,337 steps, to be exact. That, scientists concluded, is the minimum required to reduce your risk of dying prematurely from heart disease or stroke. Still, if you can keep going, you should. Push it up to 3,967 steps, and you’ll cut your risk of dying from any cause. Walk even farther, and those health benefits will continue to increase all the way up to at least 20,000 steps a day, with each extra 1,000 steps associated with another 15 percent reduced risk of dying from any cause. This study confirms that the more you walk, the better. This applies to both men and women, irrespective of age. |
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 The problem of keeping bike lanes clean has, in recent times, become a problem that’s gained recognition in a number of cities across the U.S. and around the world. Because of their narrow tires, bicycles need – and deserve – to have a path of travel that’s free of debris. Link |
| [Friday Joke] Putin is held hostage by a terrorist. A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks, “What’s going on?” Policeman: “A terrorist is holding Putin hostage in a car. He’s demanding 10 million rubles, or he’ll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we’re asking drivers for donations.” Driver: “Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.” Policeman: “About a gallon.” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 9/1/23 at 8:44 am. |