2014 May

Monday, May 12, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

The moon was hanging above How Key Mangrove yesterday.
[“Flippers”]You’re dammed right us flippers want to make instant profits, that’s what we do. We rehab a hunk of junk and make a profit as fast as we can. I do not understand why that upsets you because we fix up your neighborhood and make it a better place to live, unless of course you happen to be a pissed-off looser, who’s unhappy with just about everything, with a do-nothing lousy attitude and pissed at anyone taking risks and making money.
The first Poinciana blooms of the year.
Bo Coo is a bastardization of the French word “beaucoup” which means “many” or “plenty”.
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chic-fajitaHappy Monday from Springers Bar and Grill! Today’s Mexican special is chicken fajitas. A south of the border treat that’s a fiesta for the belly.

Specials:Tuesday: Steak pesto; Any 2 topping pizza $10(no take out)
Wednesday: Chicken Sheppard’s pie, Kids 12 and under eat free with paying adult (no take out)
Thursday: Shrimp salad on a Kaiser roll
Friday: Potato crusted maxi mahi with a mango curry sauce.

Happy Hour 2-7 daily

There’s Always Something Special at Springers.

The staff at my local supermarket are so bad that when I used the self-service checkout, I was named employee of the month.
[“White House Solar”] I believe it was President Reagan that had Carter’s solar panels removed. How about the animated Reagan video from the old MTV days, can’t remember name of band, shows Ronnie waking up from dream and setting off the nukes.
[Uke Night] Last month a reader complained that he didn’t read the posting on about Coconut’s Ukulele Night. It’s this Wednesday, May 14, from 7-9 PM. Stop by. If you don’t have a Uke, we have extras, if you can’t play, we’ll teach you. A big thanks to Joe and Meri Lynn. Hope to see you there.
Definitely Key’s junk mail: “Reactive your goal of sobriety.”
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Lost iPhone 4
in a black case between Little Torch Key and the Winn Dixie parking lot. Reward offered. If found call Classified Ads > Lost and Found
[Neutering to save the planet] Why are so many people against government sponsored voluntary sterilization and voluntary euthanasia? It should be a persons right to do what ever they want with their body and life! Forget the religious mumbo-jumbo and get real about population control and saving what is left of our planet for those who deserve to be here!
[Dumb women leave governing for real men] I have known a lot of very highly intelligent women, but not very many smart ones. Why? Because they themselves admit this country scares the hell out of them and is being run down the tubes by ruthless pirates in suites. Most women admit they would not be able to fight the junta and make America safe and sound while in political office. This scares me because if women give up then the family structure falls apart. If that happens there is no hope for what is left of real men to save America. The heads of the corporations, religious groups, and the military are being devalued to the point that they have no powers or wherewithal to cope. Whomever is selling us out to the foreign powers is well hidden in this onion skin government and it is doubtful we will find them in time to save our butts before all is gone. America will go the same way most of the Central and South American countries have gone, to dictators and incompetent leaders with deep pockets, no morals, no development skills and above all, no respect for their citizens. Canada is already a socialist state and my friends there cry a lot
[Raccoon Rescue] Sad to say that in the last few weeks raccoons that make there home on Ramrod Key have taken a bad hit.  39  coons are not accounted for in our daily count .    We are the friends of the coons and work with various groups through the Keys and we have been monitoring the raccoons since pre-1998.  Below is only one group we work with. If you see anything suspicious feel free to contact us. Link
[Citizen Of The Day Says] I like the color of the Keys and Zach Taylor in the shade.
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I ‘m still not 100 % sure were are going to come thru Y2K unscathed.
[“Coin to get a shopping cart as in Aldi Markets”] The minimum wage, minimum skills ‘cart guy’ isn’t there anymore. He no longer has any cart job, has no useable skills for any other job and has gone to welfare, Medicaid and debt. Please pay your taxes promptly. Now that’s really corporate progress.
The next Keys Concert Sunday is June 15 at TWFAC at 7PM. Reception & 7:30PM concert. Tickets $25 General, $35 Reserved. 305-295-7676. Link to the June and July concerts. Link
Deer Abby, I hate my husband and want to bump him off. My mother said the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so what kind of poison should I use! ~Frustrated Wife.

Deer Frustrated, I cannot tell you how to get rid of your hubby, but feeding him hotdogs, burgers, lots of white bread, gravy, pasta, beer, vodka, gin and lots of cookies and cakes will take care of your problem I think. Good luck.  ~Abby!

[u r dum
] My kid told me this. Most kids do not short write or use TXT Talk which is shortening words to the minimum. He said only the dummies go with that who cannot spell. It makes you stupid real fast. The smart kids use the full words and try to write correctly in English or their native language. This surprised me that the kids may not be a dumb as they look!
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Of course cats fart!
We have a cat named Mr “Tooters” who farts. (The buzzard is the only bird that farts.)
[“Why don’t cats fart”] Cats do fart and their farts stink!
Don’t play with your food, eat it!” That’s what my mother used to say, but in order to get me to eat eggs she’d have to slice the crust off a piece of toast, poke a hole in one corner of the toast, then take one of the crust slices and poke it into the hole–making the whole thing look like a little raft with a mast. She’d then plop a fried egg on the raft and I’d eat it. That was the only way I’d eat eggs until I was forty (just kidding about the forty part).
Is “bo coo” the same as beau coup?
The Grand Opening Reception and Walk all over the grounds was so much fun. Everyone had a map and will be supplied one to keep when you arrive so you will have all the artisan’s info and a small photo of the work.  We started off with Misha McRae, Dave & Nancy Hubbard, Dennis Beebe, Ellen, and Mary Burgess greeting everyone
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[“Big Cat”] Is this the animal you saw?
[“White House solar panels”] It is said they will produce enough electricity to light five light bulbs whenever there is enough sunlight to produce the energy. I doubt the picture submitted actually came from this installation. Come on guys!
With all these celebs being accused of using the “N” word, maybe most peoples’ door steps are not so clean. Remember “Enee menee minee moe, catch a n***er by the toe, if he hollers let him go, out goes Y-O-U! Many teams were chosen this way in the old days. My mother told me to pick the very best one
Here’s a link to the latest The Blue Paper article on “The Eimers Investigation: Did They Lose The Book?”  – which contains a link to all prior blue paper articles on same blue rapture, which would have gone disrespectfully unnoticed but for the diabolical blue paper and the bystander’s video of how the police actually arrested Eimers, who did not run, who did not resist arrest, who put his hands over his head and lay face-down on the sand, just before being swarmed by KWPD officers with guns drawn. Blue paper readers comments under that article are about as diabolical as the article itself. Link
[“Boo Coo”] Merci beaucoup is French for “thank you very much”, but in American street slang Bo Coo means “very good” or “good shit”.
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[“Big Cat”] Are you sure it wasn’t the fabled Big Pine skunk ape?
In the old days of Key West, wasn’t there oil tanks on the property on the north end of Mallory Pier where some hotel stands today?
[“Dump the Pumps”] Where is the list of people that will break the fingers of the assholes who try to install a GP instead of a gravity system? We have lots of snowbirds and locals ready to do just that. Some guys from out of town too!
Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
In Retrospect, former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara’s apology for Vietnam — he was credited with being that war’s architect and responsible for the fake body counts and letting the war continue even after he knew it was lost, because it wasn’t in the administration’s political interest to end it. Thousands more died needlessly to satisfy Johnson’s and McNamara’s egos.

When it was first published a New Age friend called me all excited, “Wasn’t it great McNamara had apologized?” I said, “McNamara should be put in prison and all the money the book made should be given to disabled Vietnam vets.”

[Cuba] No visitor to Havana should miss the show at the famous Tropicana nightclub.  It rivals anything you will find in Las Vegas with gorgeous chorus girls, singers, dancers, acrobats, musical productions and a fabulous orchestra in a beautiful tropical setting.  Havana Club dark rum is complimentary as are finger foods with VIP seating.  About $80 US per person.
How about we have cameras on all stop signs to issue the car tag a ticket for not stopping correctly? We could fix the national debt in a week!
dog-ct[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF: Logic n,  A thought process lacking in fifty percent of humans and another fifty percent who automatically think in reverse regardless of correctness!

DEF: Opinion n, A babbling of thought not necessarily correct regardless of evidence, logic or feeling. SEE: Blondes

DEF: Happy Hour n, A short period of time that the human brain notices sobriety then destroys it!  SEE: Keys Disease

DEF: Florida Keys n, A string of islands turned into a runway to Cuba with four lanes going both ways!

DEF: Locals n, Indigenous people who were displaced by taxes or real estate values and replaced by un-blinking greedy pests

National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
Your name and email address are not required. Please be civil. I Have Something To Say About National Politics–Click Here
Republicans care about the USA. Democrats care about its people. That is the BIG difference.
It is indeed sad when some of our citizens are criticized for wanting to get the facts on the cold blooded murder of four of our fellow Americans , the irony of the blunder is made more reprehensible by the very fact that those in charge of the situation have stonewalled every effort to get at what actually happened to produce this incompetence , and are actually being called radical for wanting to know who is responsible for the murders.of our fellow countrymen, the modus-operando of the present regime seems to be keep stalling and eventually it will go away.
from the right
Every single Keys resident, and every single person who has an interest in the Keys should check out the link.

Boko-Hram12Part 2) Until a few days ago few if any of us had ever heard of Boko Haram. But now it is in the headlines. Boko Haram is a rabidly vicious African arm of AQI, centered in Nigeria, they have been in operation for years and while flying under the public radar, have been well known in intell circles. They have just burst onto the public stage because they kidnapped nearly 300 young school girls and threatened to kill them or to sell them into slavery unless their demands were met.

Perhaps you are wondering that if Boko Haram is and has been so dangerous why haven’t we done anything about it.

That’s an excellent question, because the State Department under Hillary Clinton fought hard against placing the al Qaeda-linked militant group, Boko Haram, on its official list of foreign terrorist organizations for two years. And now, lawmakers and former U.S. officials are saying that the decision may have hampered the American government’s ability to confront the Nigerian group that shocked the world by abducting hundreds of innocent girls.

Clinton refused to place Boko Haram on the list of foreign terrorist organizations in 2011, after the group bombed the U.N. headquarters in Abuja. The refusal came despite the urging of the Justice Department, the FBI, the CIA, and over a dozen senators and congressmen.

“The one thing she could have done, the one tool she had at her disposal, she didn’t use. And nobody can say she wasn’t urged to do it. It’s gross hypocrisy,” said a former senior U.S. official who was involved in the debate. “The FBI, the CIA, and the Justice Department really wanted Boko Haram designated, they wanted the authorities that would provide to go after them, and they voiced that repeatedly to elected officials.”

In May 2012, then-Justice Department official Lisa Monaco (now at the White House) wrote to the State Department to urge Clinton to designate Boko Haram as a terrorist organization. The following month, Gen. Carter Ham, the chief of U.S. Africa Command, said that Boko Haram “are likely sharing funds, training, and explosive materials” with al-Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb. And yet, Hillary Clinton still declined to place Boko Haram on its official terrorist roster.

Clinton’s refusal to designate Boko Haram as a terrorist organization prevented U.S. law enforcement agencies from fully addressing the growing Boko Haram threat until eventually, and very recently,  Kerry added the organization to the terrorist list.

Now the mainstream media are all agog at Clintons efforts to assist in the recovery of the kidnapped girls, they swoon at Clinton’s Tweet: “ #bring back our girls.”  Certainly the power and authority of the Clinton hash tag, #, will rescue the girls. And you can be certain that her comments the other day brought fear to the hearts of the terrorists. Citizen Clinton said: “the kidnapping of more than 300 school girls in Nigeria is “abominable”, “criminal” and “an act of terrorism.” Yessir you can be sure that she scared the crap out of Boko Haram.



Ode to the Benghazi IT geek (Sean Smith USDS deceased).

I’m the IT/Commo geek

who keeps signals at peak.

No fame or fortune I seek,

my position keeps me meek.

I send them our bytes,

even without lights.

They read us 5 by 5,

meaning we’re still alive.


Spare equipment I lack,

hope they have my back.

For I’m the last to know,

when the door they blow.


At my post doing my job,

gunfire and RPGs they lob.

Thought they had my back,

now confidence I lack.


Advising “we are taking fire”,

why are you calling me a liar?

Thought you had my back,

as my life goes black.

FTR’S RESPONSE: None possible.


boehner-as-clown-behngaziA POSTER SUBMITTED THE CARTOON:

FTR’S RESPONSE: The cartoon is a sad comment on the hearts of some of our liberal friends when they think that an investigation into the murder of 4 American public servants by Muslim terrorists because the victims were Americans, is humorous. We must remember that Mr. Obama promised that the terrorists would be “brought to justice.” They have not. Is that funny? The Obama administration lied about the tragedy, is that funny? Clinton lied to the victims families, is that funny? Obama/Clinton have stonewalled previous inquiry, is that funny? Is it also funny that Clinton bears some of the responsibility for the kidnapping of school girls because of her dithering as Secretary of State. Is the suffering of the families of the murder victims also amusing to our liberal friends?

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