The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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Snorkelers find a kilo of cocaine off the Florida Keys. Now it’s a police matter. Link |
| [Memorial Day Ceremony] Please join us Monday, May 29th at 11AM in the auditorium of the Upper Keys Government Center to Honor our Nation’s Veterans Killed in Action. A United States Coast Guard Color Guard, along with our celebrated Community Band will open this ceremony. A “Gold Star” family member will be presented with the flag that draped this Soldier’s casket before he was buried overseas. Powerful videos will be shared with the audience Honoring our Nation’s Fallen. A medley of songs from our amazing Community Band, under the direction of Mr. Robert Sax, will be played in remembrance of the Veterans we Honor. A Keynote address will be delivered by the “Gold Star” recipient. Please share with us in commemorating the Finality of their Sacrifices. Thank you. |
 Do you ever wonder what happens to the people and the money they get from suing for millions and billions? Do they get calls from “heavies” to share their ill-gotten gains. Where do they move too? We hear of the initial accusations and sometimes the first court appearances, but then all seems to go away. R.I.P. or what? How much do the lawyers get? |
| [User Manual] Find any user manual here and now. Link |
[Wetstock 18] Boys and Girls, Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of all ages, Wetstock 18 is at hand! Next Sunday May 28. I hate to steal phrases, but “what a long strange trip it’s been”. 18 years of Give Peace a Chance, of Music and Fun, of Live and Let Live, all right here in our beloved Keys. It sure has been a blast. There are so many people to thank for the help of carrying this on. Especially Dear Ol’ Ed who has supported this from the very beginning. The News~Barometer and so, so, many people. I thank you all! |
| A hole was found in a nudist camp wall. Police are looking into it. |
 [Memorial Day Ceremony] Please join us Monday, May 29th at 11AM in the auditorium of the Upper Keys Government Center in Key Largo to Honor our Nation’s Veterans Killed in Action. A United States Coast Guard Color Guard, along with our celebrated Community Band will open this ceremony. A “Gold Star” family member will be presented with the flag that draped this Soldier’s casket before he was buried overseas. Powerful videos will be shared with the audience Honoring our Nation’s Fallen. A medley of songs from our amazing Community Band, under the direction of Mr. Robert Sax, will be played in remembrance of the Veterans we Honor. A Keynote address will be delivered by the “Gold Star” recipient. Please share with us in commemorating the finality of their sacrifices. Thank you. |
| [Too Much Political Correctness] Actor Richard Dreyfuss said last week that the new diversity requirements to win the Academy Award for Best Picture are “patronizing” and ”make me vomit.” Beginning next year, films can only be nominated for Best Picture if they meet one of three criteria designed to boost the “on-screen representation” of women, nonwhite, and LGBTQ actors. “This is an art form,” said Dreyfuss, 75. “No one should be telling me as an artist that l have to give in to the latest, most current idea of what morality is.” |
 [No Gas Stoves] New York has become the first state in the nation to ban gas stoves in new homes. Beginning in 2026 the stoves—as well as gas-powered furnaces—- will be prohibited in new residential buildings below seven stories, and the ban extends to taller buildings in 2029. “This is where our nation has to go eventually,” said Gov. Kathy Hochul. No existing buildings or gas stoves will be affected. |
| [Temu.com] Watch out Amazon there’s another big guy that’s cheaper. It’s remarkable how cheap this Chinese stuff is. The website’s like TickTok for stuff. Link |
 [Face Mites] To the person that posted the link concerning the face mites which live on your face and mate on your face while you’re sleeping, I will be hating you now and will forever.Signed, Not Funny |
| [And The Winners Are…] United Way of Collier and the Keys (UWCK) continues to blaze the trail supporting the Florida Keys community and investing in the marine environment. Earlier this year, UWCK opened its second Marine Science Educational Advancement Scholarship opportunity for Monroe County residents pursuing marine science related studies and recently awarded four outstanding candidates a total of $17,805 in scholarship funds. UWCK is pleased to announce that this year’s recipients are: Marian Biddle, The College of the Florida Keys – $4810 Angelina Bello, Coral Shores High School – $4850 Christina Robinson, The College of the Florida Keys – $4645 Saul Limon-Gonzalez, Coral Shores High School – $3500 |
I’m nuts about cashews. |
| [Friday Joke] Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!” |
 [Japanese Knotweed] Once hailed as a ‘handsome’ import, this most rampant of plants has come to be seen as a sinister, ruinous enemy. Can it be stopped? Link |
| Harry and Meghan security ‘should have been properly stage-managed’. Former royal bodyguard speaks out as conflicting accounts cast doubts on details of New York car chase. Link |
 [Secret Documents] People are surprised that a 21 year-old Airman had access to secret military documents. That’s not unusual as most servicemen are young. When I was 20 years-old I had access to nuclear submarine secrets and information about the reactor and reactor compartment and sound isolation. I only worked on nuclear systems and never once thought of telling anyone. This was back in the 1960s when the country was united. One of my instructors was Captain William Anderson, who made history five years earlier in 1958 when he commanded the atomic submarine Nautilus under the polar ice cap to the North Pole. |
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 [A Dollar A Bullet] When I was into guns, I was taught that you never brandish a weapon unless you intend to use it. I could never kill anything, but I did enjoy trap shooting and target shooting. I even got to the point of reloading ammo myself. It wasn’t cheap to shoot then, I can only imagine what it costs now. |
| [Friday Joke] Why A Woman Needs A Husband. Woman: “I don’t want to marry. I am educated, self-sufficient and satisfied with myself. But my friends all say that I should marry. What should I do?”Psychiatrist: “You will no doubt achieve great things in life. But sometimes things won’t go your way. Sometimes your plans will fail. Then whom will you blame? Will you blame yourself?” Woman: “No.” Psychiatrist: “Yes. That’s why you need a husband.” |
 [Deadliest Road In The US] Number one is US Rout 1 in Florida, which goes down the stale‘s east coast to the Florida Keys–speeding and ocean bridges make it especially dangerous. |
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| [Friday Joke Redux] Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another, and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to tequila–not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home. On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I’ve never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from |
 Navy SEALs will finally stay dry in a cozy new submarine. The existing method of transportation involves a sub that is exposed to the elements. That should change soon. Link |
| Just thinking again! Nothing better to do. Why are we, the public, being inundated with 1000’s of different news and video information tidbits that really don’t amount to anything more than local news or international gibberish? What is really going on behind the scenes and who is making the changes to our world? Something stinks in the back yard. |
 [For Rent] House. 3 Beds 2 Baths on Shannahan Rd, Summerland Key, FL 33042. $3800 a month. Newly constructed home built with impact windows and doors to withstand 180 mph winds. The property has an open concept living space with 9′ ceilings, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, tiling throughout, shower and soaking tub. Good neighborhood with family friendly people.F/L/ security deposit required. Prospect will be subject to background check. Email: Johanna2011@yahoo.com |
| Her: You should take me out to a nice dinner sometime. You won’t be disappointed. Me: I don’t go out with married women. Sorry. Her: But I’m your Wife. Me: I don’t make exceptions. Sorry. |
 [2,000 Jobs Lost] Disney scraps plans to build new campus in Florida from the giant Walt Disney World theme park resort. Florida is losing 1 billion dollars and 2,000 jobs. We won’t need workforce housing on every corner anymore. Our governor has forced Disney to abandon the creation of 2000 new jobs, so those workers will have to find employment in other states.And maybe that pesky Disney will move to another state, so we won’t need all those hotels, restaurants and service workers anymore. Good riddance! Florida has been getting too crowded lately. Link |
| [Friday Joke] Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked! |
Delivery driver fixes and salutes homeowner’s American flag. Michigan homeowners get ‘choked up’ watching video of Amazon driver saluting their U.S. flag Video |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 5/19/23 at 7:45 am. |