2014 June

Sunday, June 22, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

[Picnic Island] Moose and friends will be playing atop Still Bill’s party barge today. The floating party starts about noon-thirty Keys time!
waving convertable
Top Down (Key West) Kind of A Day. 
~Singer/songwriter Steve Tolliver. Video
[“The best subs in the state of Florida] Typical of CT readers when talking about the best subs in Florida is to recommend a sandwich from N.J.
eagle mouth opens
[Eagle] This is truly an incredible video. It’s hard to believe this Osprey got 5-6 fish at a time and then got a flounder under 3 feet of water and made off with what looks to be a 5+ lbs. Steelhead. Have you ever seen a bird shake water off like a dog? I wouldn’t want to get in its way when its eyes are locked onto you and his talons are in the “load” position! The strength of its grip must be amazing. There are 3 sequences in this one video: 1st sequence – catches half a dozen fish in one strike. 2nd sequence – plunges into deep water to grab the prey. 3rd sequence – captures a steelhead salmon that looks as if it weighs more than he does.  This is incredible to watch. Video
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[“Corruption”] It seems very strange to me that in all of my years living in the Keys I have seen corruption plague every single public and private institution in the county. Politicians, strip clubs, FKCC, Sheriffs office, police department, school district, SPCA, banks, trash, developers, restaurant owners, and non profits, It’s unreal the amount of corruption. It’s like having tea with the mad hatter in a f**king third world country.
WD-40 attracts fish when sprayed on a lure because WD-40 is from fish based oil and not petroleum.
programmed22Every person on this planet has been brainwashed since birth, parents, relatives, friends, teachers, clergy, the government, the media, corporations, etc. We’ve been taught to believe that this is good, this is bad, my product is superior, my god is better than your god, I’m from the government here to help you, if you vote for me I promise, only $9.99, but wait…if you’re the next 50 callers, guns are bad, if you give up your rights you’ll be more secure, no more taxes, I did not have sex with that woman.The human race is doomed to fail. We’ve been programmed to believe the lies.
[“Maine lobster rolls”] That’s not true about Reds of Maine. They are good. The lines snake down the streets and not all customers are tourists. The volume of business speaks for itself. They’ve been there for years. That being said, Taste of Maine has better “lobsta” rolls.
For those in search of a good sandwich think Murray’s. If you want a good deli sandwich and are dissatisfied with Winn-Dixie’s pallid efforts, and unwilling to make the trek to Publix in Key West or Marathon I suggest you try the sandwich counter at Murray’s on Summerland Key. They, like Publix, use Boar’s Head meats and cheeses to create really respectable sandwiches. If you’ve never shopped there, you’re in for a pleasant surprise. Its is a very well stocked little store which is a lot more likely to carry unusual or luxury items than is Winn-Dixie. Best of all it is local. Your money wont be flowing to a corporate headquarters that is located some distance from here..
[Useless] It is a harsh reality when you come to the realization that you are no longer necessary for anything.
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] If you think about it, when you eat a lollipop you are eating your own flavored spit. And some spit is better than others!
[Misplaced Pubic Hair] I fondly remember the night in the good old days when I tangled with this gal who had what looked like pubic hair around her nipples.  Didn’t matter one bit.
[Local Politics] Sloan,  keep fighting the good fight.  Romero, you said nothing.  Cates, you are the  ultimate politician, you said nothing worthwhile.   Except for Bashinsky, none of you said anything that would make me vote for you.  I don’t care about county wide judges, county commissioners, etc.   What matters to me is Key West!  If you want Key West to “move forward”  (Cates’s words),  Vote for a candidate who has no interest in tourism,  no interest in local business, no interest in payoffs,  no interest in the KWPD running the homeless out of Key West,  no interest in limiting the taxi’s for handicapped (this is really sad that we can’t have more taxi’s for the handicapped),   no interest in selective enforcement.
Fire the entire force, hire back the good ones.  It only takes one day (yes, Mitchell, you are done).  Dump Donnie Lee, he is part of the cover up of the death of Eimers.  Dump Donnie Lee because (right or wrong) his policies are in line with the commissioners (make life hell for the homeless).  Dump Donnie Lee because he is a racist. Dump Donnie Lee because he hates the homeless.  Dump Donnie Lee because he hates anyone who was not born here.Dump Mayor Cates because he hates the homeless, dump Mayor Cates because he hates the minimum wage workers,  dump Mayor Cates because he hates anyone owning a business who is not a Conch.

All you Conch’s who clam to be so upstanding citizens look at your past, your relatives were drug runners.  They ran bails of coke, bails of marijuana into the states all thru the late 60’s and the 70′   And maybe today. Don’t doubt me.  There are still bails of drugs coming into the Keys.  The police that are supposed to stop it are part if the problem. The DHS, the MCSO, the FPS, the KWPD,  are all part of the problem.    Do you want to rid the Key’s of drugs?   Do you want to get rid of the addicts?  Stop the flow of drugs from the ‘upstanding citizens’ that are bringing drugs into the island.  The ones you think are upstanding citizens are drug dealers.  How do you think they can afford a private island worth 15 million? ~

[Danger] Driving under the old Bahia Honda bridge is hit and miss.
[Iraq Redux] I don’t get it.  We already trained, paid, and equipped one huge Iraqi army.  Why do we have to go back in there and train another one?  This is BS.  Do we pay these new guys?  What naive suckers we are.   Won’t we ever learn?
A great Maine lobster roll can be had at DJ’s Crab Shack on Duval Street.
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] Anyone who has kids/grand kids has stepped on a Lego in the middle of the night. You will appreciate the humor and or horror of this picture.
Sunday morning again and the smell of holy water is in the air. Oh puke! There go the sicko’s and demented dreamers to offer their bribes to some drag queen who says magic words of bull shit and spins the coffer trays for more money to support his anti-work ethic. All the lost effort of a gang of misfits hoping to get into heaven by buying their way is no different than the Islamic promises of eternal life with 72 virgins and praise from a demented dreamer. Humanity is freaking nuts and getting worse every day!
pizza delivery goofball
[It’s Not DiGiorno] Key Largo underwater hotel has Tower of Pizza delivery man. Very cool! Video
[Discounts] It pisses my family off when we go to a restaurant, order food and drinks at happy hour prices and get charged regular pricing because we get no respect as locals. Then the server wonders why we did not tip enough! They screw us, we screw them back, even if they fix it. The only places that have not done this are the large chain places in Key West. The little local joints can eat their own cooking as far as we are concerned.
Friday the water was clear and flat and flat as a parking lot as this dolphin swims near Sombrero Light.
[“Pubic hair”] I have recently been informed that the small, narrow patch of pubic hair left lightly trimmed and extending upward from ‘the goods’ is known, for some obscure reason  among today’s young gals, as the “landing strip”.  I sincerely hope the young guys around today appreciate just how easy they have it, but realistically speaking, I know they don’t.
Never patronize a bar that is further away from home than you can crawl back on all fours!
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I wonder how Obama decided on the 300 number of troops to be sent back into Iraq?  Maybe he just got around to watching that movie about the 300 Spartans
What is this, you ask?  Why it’s the Eimers‘ case.  You remember that phrase don’t you?  Ah, come on, you know it’s in the ordinance you used against him for “lodging in a vehicle”.  Well, guess what, whatever he did, or may have done, will never reach the horrible level of what the KWPD has done, or will do to tourism when the rest of the world reads and hears about the Mr. Eimers case.  I don’t understand how any of you can live with yourselves for doing what you have done; and this goes for all of the other KW city officials that I did not include on the send list.
Love and FriendshipWhen you are sad I will help you get even and plot revenge against the bastards who made you sad.
When you’re are blue I will try to dislodge whatever is bothering you and tell you a joke to make you smile.
When you smile I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

When you are scared I will take your fear from you every chance I get, until you’re not.
When you are worried I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop.
When you’re confused I will explain.

When you’re sick, stay the hell away from me until you’re are well again. I don’t want whatever you’ve got. But I will bring you chicken soup.
When you fall, I will laugh my head off, but I’ll always help you up.
This is my oath. I pledge it to the end. Why? Because you are my friend and I love you.  Friendship is like wetting your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

This Royal Poinciana tree stands out in Eden Pines. Now you know why most South Americans call it the flame tree.
[“Corruption”] I don’t think Key West is the most corrupt location in the US. I’d give that to Washington D. C. Then maybe New Orleans. Key West just happens to be small enough that the corruption is more easier seen. Corruption is everywhere, and the US and Canada are probably the least corrupt countries in the world. Corruption is entrenched from the Mexican border south, in the Middle East, Asia, and Eurasia. Western Europe is only a little more corrupt than US/Canada.
Whatever else the newly re-elected-by-default Holly R has done while in office, she lost her credibility with me when she came out in favor of allowing loose cats in the Keys.
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Boar’s Head meat
is not any better than any other lunch meat. All lunch meats are all filled with chemicals, salt and water. Read the labels and you see something like a chemistry exam. I did a blind test and compared ham and turkey and no one could tell the difference by brand. It’s the advertising that fools us into thinking Boar’s Head is better. Winn Dixie’s Ham-off-the-bone lunch meat is far better than any competition and it’s a third of the price. The same claim can be made for their Serrano ham at almost half the price. Compare them yourself.
[“Moving sale-no address”] Best kept secret moving sale info. If you will send a blank check to my secret account on the assigned secret date and time I will disclose the info to you only.  Regards, Peggy in India.
I moved from Ocala. Ocala sucks unless you are 100 and live in The Villages. People down here don’t appreciate what they have.
A few days ago I say two motorized parasails over Pine Channel. One did a loop-de-loop. I think they landed around the South Pine Bridge area.
[Chinese Women Feeding an Elephant] This is really funny about two women who are feeding an elephant. You don’t have to understand Chinese to understand this one! Video
[“Chief Jonny Lee“] Note to self, you should have all the facts, including the proper names of people you are about to slander, just so you don’t look like the idiot.
[“Food wagon somewhere in Maine”
] I started to cringe when I began to read the post about Red’s in Wisscasit, but read on and the poster has it correct Red’s is a tourist trap. If you are in Maine and can get to Auburn St to Macs Seafood you can enjoy a lobster roll where the locals go. Unbelievably huge and low cost. Link
[“Pubic hair and anal hair getting bikini waxed”]  If this shows up on “America’s Dirtiest Jobs” I don’t want to watch that episode.
Row boat
. 19 ft, sliding seat, oars. Epoxy resin and cloth over 1/4 plywood, plywood is aged, but epoxy makes up for that with a “fiberglass hull”. Great for total body exercise. $400. Call Classified Ads > Boats.
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friend in need is a pain in the ass!
From what I have seen in pictures taken during his early life, Bowe Bergdahl was good looking, ‘cute’ and hung out with some hot looking young fecund chicks.  Doesn’t that fact alone entitle him to a pass on everything else he may have done just like that celebrated f**ked up ex Marine in the Mexican jail who also has, or had,  a hot fecund girlfriend who may or may not be waiting for his return.
The waning Moon passes Venus low in the dawn later this week. To spot the Pleiades, look early while the sky is still dark enough.
New Jersey mikes subs. A giant sub that feeds 4! That explains why most of the New Jersey folk are fat. They eat for 4 portions. All that sulfate in their lunchmeat. Big sub is full of sulfates, that’s why they sell for cheap. I will stick with my own lunch meat and make my own sub..
eleanor-McAdamsThere is a 3rd viable candidate for the County Commission race for Dist.2 and my name is Eleanor McAdams. I am a 25 year resident of the FL Keys and have declared my candidacy. The theme of my campaign is Saving Paradise. We need to take action now to save paradise or it will soon be gone. We need to preserve our unique way of life and our natural resources. The life that people come here to experience. I think that the Keys can be much better with very little, if any expense to the taxpayers. This can be done with more progressive thinking and decision making ideas. We need fresh eyes on our issues, we need some out of the box thinking to make our life better; and who can better give this perspective on the issues then a single mom. It does not take a lot if schooling and degrees to be a County Commissioner. It takes wisdom, common sense, and the school of hard knocks to make good choices for the people of this community. We need a gang of 3 that works for the people.I believe that I am the best candidate for this position. I am the workers candidate. I understand wind and flood issues. I work as a Customer Service Representative for an insurance agency. I answer phones, return calls and fix problems all day for a living. I have a servants heart, and I want to serve, you, the community. If you want someone who you can trust to make good decisions for your tax dollar then please vote for me, Eleanor McAdams.

Remember with this election, you are voting for, not only your future, but your children’s future. Please do not hesitate to contact me at for any questions or concerns you may have. I look forward to hearing from you.

Send some of these rich entitled sociopathic young punk thugs that are running loose around our neighborhoods down here over to Iraq where they can put their TV watching learned  MMA[?] skills to use to their hearts content.
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mutant22[“GMOs save lives”] Sure they do, Ace. So do grinder pumps, you say? “Statins save lives” is such a similar outrageous lie that the same unimaginative marketing dullard must have created both. The difference is that many fell for the statin lie. You would have to be living under a pretty big rock to think GMOs ever saved anything other than corporate profits. In case you just crawled out from under that rock, here are some enlightening videos from 3 min to really long, featuring scientific research not sponsored by Monsanto or Dow, and real life documentaries of what a switch to GMO seeds did to entire regions. Want your organ functions altered? Eat more GMO. Your Darwin award awaits. Video
[All Answers] “What caused the Big Bang?” A mail truck colliding with a Jersey girl. “What is ‘spooky action at a distance?'” A Jersey girl giving you the eye from across the room. “Why are Jersey women so dumpy?” It’s so they can stop the mail trucks. “Why do the Keys bands murder Mustang Sally?” Less competition for the Jersey girls.
What say ye now Republicans and Fox News, otherwise known as Republican television? What was that again?? I can’t hear you. Link
Good thing we have Obama who was wise to keep us out of the Syrian situation.  Who knows which side is the right one to back anyway the way things are going over there.
KFC also made another special meal. Its was called the conservative meal. The chickens were not born in the U.S. and you have to cry and whine to the chicken before you eat it.
“Can someone please name anything that Hillary did while as First Lady, or Senator of New York or as Secretary of State?”  First Lady – Nothing, Senator – Nothing, Secretary of State – Got people killed.
The guy was absolutely correct about FTR completely changing the subject on you He either does that or berates you on spelling or some typo.Go ahead FTR fing Waldo.
from the right
Most of us know that Charlie Crist was our governor, some may know that he quit governing about half way into his term to run for US Senate. He quit when Florida’s economy was dying even faster than the national economy.But, not too many  are aware of Charlie’s tight circle of felonious friends.

On Friday we learned just a little about the relationship between Charlie Crist and Scott Rothstein, thief, corruptor, and  Ponzi schemer. They were the best of buds. On Friday we noted that Governor Crist had appointed Rothstein to the Judicial Nominating Commission, that commission is responsible for vetting applicants seeking a Governors appointment to the Bench.  But, Charlie, never one to short his friends, did not appoint Rothstein to one JNC, he appointed him to two JNC’s. One with jurisdiction over Broward Courts (Rothstein’s practice was in Ftl), and the other with jurisdiction over for the Fourth District Court of Appeals (West Palm Beach). Pretty cool huh?

Charlie was an expensive asset for Rothstein, but Charlie was a very valued asset. During Charlie’s Senate race, Rothstein and his pals were the single biggest contributor to his race, $81K. That pales in comparison to his first race for governor. Then Rothstein and his merry band of thieves gave Charlie (GASP) $675,000.00. It was money well spent. Charlie won and his pals reaped the benefits. Walk proud Charlie.

When Charlie got elected, he appointed Rothstein to 2 JNC’s. Rothstein then began recommending judges for Crist to appoint. It goes without saying that the judges recommended would be judges that would be favorable to his firm.  How do we know that? Rothstein testified in Federal Court that: “He (Crist) knew how that game was played. I expected him to do certain things in exchange for large contributions.”  Charlie was subverting justice.

Rothstein testified that he enjoyed a major return on investment for his contributions to Crist. Crist’s obvious fealty to Rothstein made Rothstein  look powerful and trustworthy. That enabled him to perpetuate his fraud. Rothstein testified that he was “able to convince him [Crist] to do a lot of things” as part of their relationship. “It was a quid pro quo with the governor,” Rothstein testified. Yep, the very pretty Charlie Crist was an enabler for a low life scum sucking SOB that ruined the lives of many Florida retirees. Walk Proud Charlie.

Charlie’s list of twisted pals is much longer than the foregoing. We’ve thought about his relationship with conman crook Stu Pearlman when Charlie was Attorney General. Then of course there was the aforementioned Scott Rothstein, but we haven’t yet thought about more of Charlie’s pals.

There was Jim Greer.  Greer and Charlie were exceptionally close. Charlie hand picked Greer to be the chairman of the Republican Party of Florida. from 2006 to 2010. Greer set about to loot the Republican party and set up a money laundering scheme. He was found out, was arrested and faced a possible 75 years in prison for fraud, money laundering and theft — including a scheme to take $100,000 from the GOP party for his personal expenses through a fundraising company he created. The trial would have been sensational, National Enquire stuff, but he plead guilty,  to various theft charges and to money laundering thus avoiding very interesting  and really sensational testimony  about his relationship with Charlie. Things like off shore parties paid for with Republican funds, complete with hookers. And testimony about Charlie’s drinking habits.  But Greer did plead guilty thus sparing the very clean cut Crist from really nasty revelations. Greer testified that Crist, knew about the financial arrangement that gave Greer’s company a cut of party money in exchange for fundraising efforts. Pretty stinky Charlie!! Charlie got very, very lucky!

Another of Charlie’s good buds was — Alan Mendelsohn. Who is a former Hollywood ophthalmologist, he was a dear friend and adviser to then Gov. Charlie Crist. Now he’s a felon. Mendelsohn was sentenced to four years in prison in 2011 after he plead guilty to a conspiracy charge alleging he was scheming to bilk the U.S. government — trying to hide $82,000 in political donations. At his peak, Charlie liked this bozo so much that he put him on his gubernatorial transition team in 2006. Charlie dodged the bullet again.

Still another of Charlie’s felonious friends is Gregg Eagle. Charlie was a great friend of Eagle. They were tight, especially while Charlie was gunning for the governor’s office. Charlie would sometimes stay at Greg’s Useppa Island home. But Eagle was a thief, but not too clever a thief. He was arrested, charged, and he plead guilty to 6 huge counts of fraud, a substantial portion of the $17 million fraud wound up in Charlie’s 2006 war chest in his run for Governor. Score another felonious friend and associate for Charlie.  When it comes to felonious friends, Charlie is like the energizer bunny.

Russell Adler. Another Charlie Crist friend and Scott Rothstein former law partner filed a guilty plea on March 7. Prosecutors said Adler funneled $283,000 in donations to Crist.

Stu Rosenfeldt. Crist buddy and Ponzi schemer Scott Rothstein’s second-in-command at the Rothstein Rosenfeldt Adler law firm was charged in May 2014 by federal prosecutors with conspiracy to commit campaign fraud, bank fraud, and violate human rights. He too was a whale donor to Charlie. But the really nasty thing about him is that he stands accused of conspiring with Rothstein to have two Broward sheriff’s office deputies run a prostitute out of town after her boyfriend threatened to expose the married Rosenfeldt’s sexual relationship with her.

Charlie certainly has an “interesting” circle of friends and associates. But then, so did Meyer Lanski.  It’s hard to understand how Charlie could have so many felonious friends….and we’ll think about a whole new set of them soon.

The writing on the picture of Crist and his pal Rothstein says: “Scott, you’re amazing….Charlie Crist”  Isn’t that just peachy.


Part 2) It’s hard to keep focused on the simple truths of life because of the maelstrom that swirls around us.  Let’s review:


Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.


When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, “Congrats”.   But, none of them touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job”.

Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.


1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole’s name.

3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

Bonus Truth:

Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman’s husband.    (Thanx Sandi)

Thanks for stopping by…Respectfully submitted: FTR