2014 September

Thursday, September 18, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsAnonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

jail bars heart[Cay Clubs] Federal investigators have filed a new superseding indictment against Clark and Cristal Coleman of the defunct Cay Clubs development company alleging they ran a $300 million Ponzi scheme and bank fraud and conspiracy to commit wire fraud, and of obstructing an investigation by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. Their defense is a simple one: That multiple attorneys from multiple firms across Florida told them throughout the Cay Clubs venture that they were operating legally.Cay Clubs burst onto the Florida Keys scene in June 2005, selling preconstruction units — often for more than $600,000 — for upscale condominium and floating town home resorts in Key Largo, Islamorada and Marathon. During those early days, the company also spread charitable largesse in the Keys, sponsoring concerts, powerboat races and even a new amphitheater at Founders Park in Islamorada. Cay Clubs also entered into a management deal with high-profile Keys developer Pritam Singh and sought to operate the ferry service between Marathon and Pigeon Key.

By at least 2006, Cay Clubs did not have sufficient funds to make improvements to properties or to make the leaseback payments that had been promised to earlier investors. By late 2007, however, the company had collapsed. It folded without having completed even one of 17 promised condominium complexes in the Keys screwing investors and anyone else associated with the scam.

Both Dave and Cristal Clark remain at Monroe County Detention Center on Stock Island under no bail.

[“Murderer suicides on the run”] No mention of the fate of the poor dog. I hope he made it. Who really cares about the other two.
peek a boo18
[Peek-a-boo] Babies and toddlers love games like peek-a-boo because they haven’t developed object permanence (the ability to understand objects exist even when not directly viewed) and actually believe a person concealed in the game of peek-a-boo has vanished and then reappeared before their eyes. This happens in adulthood to, but only during Happy Hour!
On living in seclusion Goethe said, “You cannot leave a civilization without being punished.”
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[Citizen of the Day Says] I’m lucky to live in this island paradise and I intend to take full advantage of it!
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
[“Mosquito helicopters”] They are not knocking off your plaster any more than lightning induced thunder. Just relax. Please let the choppers work overtime in our neighborhood. They remind me of my military days when “God’s Own Lunatics” were flying.Please take a few minutes to view this and listen to Joe Galloway. It will make your day. Video
[Pump Recall] Energizer Personal Care – Playtex Manufacturing, Inc. announced today that, out of an abundance of caution, it is adding an adapter production lot to its voluntary nationwide recall of certain AC/DC power adapters that are used with the Playtex® Nurser Deluxe Double Electric Breast Pump. No injuries have been reported to date.In March 2014, Playtex announced a voluntary recall of certain AC/DC power adapters because the casing on some adapters may come loose and separate, resulting in a potential for electric shock. After further evaluation and investigation, Playtex has added one adapter production lot to the recall. Link
[20 Corals Listed as Threatened] NOAA recently listed 20 new varieties of coral as “threatened” under the Endangered Species Act, including five that are found in Florida Keys waters: Mountain star, pillar, boulder star, cactus and star. Florida-native staghorn and elkhorn corals have been on the list since 2006. Link
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[“Mosquito helicopters”] Bring back the old yellow and white DC-3s if you really want your house to shake, rock and roll!
Join us for the 2014 United Way annual meeting and workplace campaign kick-off! Thursday, October 9 from 4 to 6:30 p.m. Hawks Cay Resort. $10 donation requested. Cash bar & light hors d’oeuvres. Please RSVP by Wednesday, October 1 at Events
[Bar Room Decorum] When you go to a benefit for somebody at a local establishment, use your head. If the benefit supplies drinks and food that is fine, but have some respect for the bar owner and for customers who are not part of the benefit and are trying to sit at the bar to buy drinks or bar food! And don’t forget to tip the bartenders!
hillbilly jug drunk
Dear Alcohol
, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer. I saw the video. We need to talk!
[New Rule: All Faiths Can Kill] The Air Force has instructed force support offices across the service to allow both enlisted members and officers to omit the words “So help me God” from enlistment and officer appointment oaths if an Airman chooses.In response to concerns raised by Airmen, the Department of the Air Force requested an opinion from the Department of Defense General Counsel addressing the legal parameters of the oath. The resulting opinion concluded that an individual may strike or omit the words “So help me God” from an enlistment or appointment oath if preferred.

“We take any instance in which Airmen report concerns regarding religious freedom seriously,” said Secretary of the Air Force Deborah Lee James. “We are making the appropriate adjustments to ensure our Airmen’s rights are protected.”

The Air Force will be updating the instructions for both enlisted and commissioned Airmen to reflect these changes in the coming weeks, but the policy change is effective now. Airmen who choose to omit the words ‘So help me God’ from enlistment and officer appointment oaths may do so.

The language in previous instructions was based on an Air Force legal interpretation of 10 U.S.C. 502, 5 U.S.C. 3331 and Title 32, which contain the oaths of office.

The Air Force requested the review following a ceremony at Creech Air Force Base, Nevada, in which an enlisted Airman struck out the words, “So help me God” on the Department of Defense Form 4 and did not include them in his verbal oath. The Airman’s unit was unable to process his paperwork due to the guidance in Air Force Instruction 36-2606, Reenlistment in the United States Air Force, which prohibited any omissions. Now that the Department of Defense General Counsel has provided an opinion, the Airman’s enlistment paperwork will be processed to completion.

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In he 1950’s studies found the proper angle to watch TV was down. That’s why they made those big TV consoles low to the floor. Today’s trend is to place the TV high on the wall where it’s uncomfortable to watch as you have to position yourself to look up and they said it was bad for your eyes. Looking up is only good if you watch from a Barcalounger.
[Police] Does anybody know where to get a copy of the Official Form to file a complaint against a police officer? Is there one online to print out or a web site to go to?
(Ed: Deer friends, I will be away for a few days and my laptop died and I’m not buying another so I won’t be publishing this Sunday, Monday, Tues and maybe Wednesday unless someone up there has a laptop I can use. So send in your emails today as Friday is the last day to read them for a few days.)
boat182000 Pursuit 24’7″. 2000 Yamaha 225HP, rebuilt in 2011 by Florida Outboard Service and still less than 375 hours total since new. No trailer. She’s been annually serviced since purchasing in 2005 from original owner, when bought it had 53 hours. New Yamaha trim motor and annual service completed August 2014. In the water ready to go, runs perfect. $25,000. Ramrod Key, call for a sea trial. Classified Ads > Boats
[Gun Nut] Pennsylvania cop killer is a “survivalist” (otherwise known as a right wing gun nut).
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best-sellers-nyt18[“Book Club”] Having anonymous book club has its difficulties but they are not insurmountable. I think the easiest way is for someone to decide what book is going to be read. It should be a book on the current top paperback best seller list. Making it affordable to everyone. If a reader has already read the book picked, they will be ready to contribute. If you want to be in the book club, read the book even if you don’t know if you will like it or not. Either way I always think you get something from reading any book.
Let’s bait the water with some book titles and see if we get any bites. I will then pick the book and post the title. Link
[Complainers In Paradise] They bitch about mosquitoes, now they are crying about the helicopters spraying to kill them and are worried about damage to their home. It used to be fun to go out and socialize. Now you get grouchy old Yankee complainers with a sour puss.
The May 2003 pilot whale “rescue” was a misguided fiasco from start to finish.
[Gun Nut] Suspected cop killer Eric Matthew Frein cut hair into Mohawk, belonged to a ‘military simulation unit’ before shooting police. Another ‘patriot’ goes on a rampage for his Second Amendment rights.
Connecting religion and democracy. An interesting 90 seconds. Video
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flag pole england
Scotland’s succession
vote is today. I think they should remain part of Great Briton so it remains Great.
Old politics of left and right are no longer relevant in our world today. We need to seek politics that transcend ideologies. We need to develop a core that focuses on policies that work. America, reform! We have big fish to fry.
To those who want to send troops to fight in the middle east let them be the first to send their children before they ask me to send mine.
The sale of bacon proves that America is a Christian nation. Video
[“Pilot whale rescue”] Do-gooders made the sick whales suffer for weeks instead of letting them die naturally. The do-gooders felt good, the whales continued to suffer. It’s rare that a sea mammal rescue saves the mammal. The whales come ashore to die in peace. Only the rescuers have a good time of it. Contrary to popular belief, mammal rescues are inhumane.
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Happy Thursday from Springer’s Bar and Grill.
We have an amazing special for you today, chicken parmigiana on a hoagie roll. Chicken smothered in pasta sauce with mozzarella cheese. Just like mama used to make. It’s sure to bring out the Italian in all of us.
Fridays special is fish and chips
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s
[Drones] Look at all the goofballs down here that shoot off those huge fireworks without any regard for where they land.  Does anyone think someone like that is going to give any thought to the possible harmful consequences of flying a drone?
The photo is the Coconuts Bocce team. Very possibly the best Bocce team along the East coast of America and maybe the world! It’s not bragging if it’s true, although we have, on occasion, had an off day or two..
Commitment and sacrifice,
Marriage and war,
Constitution for all.
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[“Whales”] There were three whale things I remember. The failed pilot whale rescue just off the highway in 2003, the whales butchered at the Content Passage and the dead sperm whale off Bahia Honda in 2006. Was the failed rescue of whales at the old Peg Leg’s canal the same whales on the side of the highway in 2003?
[“Circumcision Part 2”] I was circumcised at birth too. I have no clue what my parents paid, but I gave the doctor a decent tip!
[Free Medical Care] Word on the street is that if you have to go to the hospital and later get a bill, just throw it away.   The hospital just writes off the whole thing and you skate without any consequences.  This is the lowlife code of ethics.
blindfold dining18
[“Blindfold Dining Experience“] We did have a blindfold dining experience. It was in a private home. They provided the chef and a server. The food tasted great even though we had all been familiar with the types of foods served. The food just seemed to taste better. There was a total of 6 of us and we all agreed to do it again.
The answer to the question “Can people really be that stupid?” is always yes.
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look at this web site and stop pushing you 3rd level educational experiences. Provide the educational foundation that will actually enable these kids the get a job. This should also be shown to the high school kids in the Keys so as to get them involved. I wonder if the new Dean of Science has any clues? Link
I watched an ex Iraqi Army general, now living the high life in London, explain in a TV interview how we did a poor job of training the Iraqi Army and that is why they dropped their guns and beat feet before some ISIS guys.
Smokers do cost employers more in insurance payments, therefore higher rates, and in time off. I did an informal survey in my office. I asked every patient 18 or older who presented with a “cold” or ” URI” if they smoked. Approximately 75% were smokers. I am a retired family physician.
baracade flashing light[Sewers] Last week they finished putting in the sewer pipes in front of my home. There was a large brigade of heavy machinery constantly going back and forth, digging, hauling, and pouring cement. I have a wood stilt home. I can honestly say that there was so much shaking, pounding and rattling that the plaster on my ceiling all cracked along the drywall seams. That’s what I noticed! There is probably some structural damage which I can’t see. No, there is no liability or compensation. It’s called “that’s life”. I am ok with that. I do want to mention that the crew that worked on my street were exceptionally nice and capable men. The clean up crew did a great job.
I haven’t noticed the mosquito helicopter flying over my house, but I have noticed the mosquitoes . Since my house is already full of cracks I would welcome a fly over in Port Pine Heights.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography. ~Mark Twain
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Cyndee’s Hair Saloon
aka Snip & Sip is the guiding force behind the Coconuts Bocci Ball team. Yes the “NUT” has a hair saloon, sorry: salon (you like ‘to-may-to’, I like ‘to-mah-to'” anywho, you can get your hair cut, curled, colored and permed at the NUT. You Say ‘Tomato’, I say ‘Tomato’
[Caretakers] Mature home/property owners for over 40 years who are escaping Ohio soon want to care for your property in the Keys on a long term basis. If you’d like your real estate occupied and maintained inside and out, we can do it to your specifications while paying you the monthly rental income you need. We hope to locate on Big Pine Key, Cudjoe, Ramrod, Summerland, or Marathon, or? We will be on Big Pine from September 28 until October 10. We can meet or talk at your convenience. If interested, please contact Gary Classified Ads > Situation Wanted
I am the poster who incorrectly used your instead of you’re referring to FTR’s constant use of the word dither. I was wrong. Thank you for correcting me. (Two sentences FTR has never written.)
[Red Tide Update
] A red tide, or harmful algal bloom, is a higher-than-normal concentration of a microscopic alga (plantlike organism). In Florida and the Gulf of Mexico, the species that causes most red tides is Karenia brevis, often abbreviated as K. brevis. To distinguish K. brevis blooms from red tides caused by other species of algae, researchers in Florida call the former the “Florida red tide.” Link
I watched an National Geographic TV show with home videos of our troops fighting in Afghanistan.   I was ashamed.  We don’t know how to fight anymore.  The troops were pinned down all day by some Taliban a few hundred yards away in broad daylight.  We just sat there and fired thousands of bullets into the trees until almost running out.  Why didn’t we chopper in a bunch of guys behind them and get them all?  They to busy back at the base checking their email or updating their facebook pages?   We should get out of there.
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It seems that Conservatives all share a common ailment known as “Convenient memory” loss when it comes to speaking truthfully of their beliefs. For example they rail on as if Democrats are the only ones in history that wont take a stand against illegal aliens. Truth is their all mighty all knowing hero Reagan was the fore father of amnesty for illegals.Reagan gave amnesty to 3 million undocumented immigrants.Reagan signed into law a bill that made any immigrant who had entered the country before 1982 eligible for amnesty. The bill was sold as a crackdown, but its tough sanctions on employers who hired undocumented immigrants were removed before final passage. It also gave millions more of their family members entry into the country. Lets not forget that leading Conservative Presidential candidate Jeb Bush recently told us they come here for love.

Seems Conservative core beliefs can change with the wind according to who is in office.

Trying to find out what true core values are from conservatives is like trying to nail jello to a wall

from the right
Are you a fan of hamburgers, cheese burgers, or anything else with ground beef in it? If so get ready for a rude awakening and yet another attack from the left on your budget.hamburger glowThe price of ground beef has now exceeded $4.00 per pound for the first time…. ever. To put that in perspective, only five years ago a pound of ground beef cost you about $2.13. That’s an increase of about 88% in only five years.

While you’re thinking about that, please give some thought to the fact that USA Today is reporting that Antarctic ice is at its record high, there is more ice now than ever before. Some scientists say that it’s a result of global warming. Others say donkey dung and point out that there has been no increase in global temps in years.

Antarctic ice and ground beef, what link could there possible be?

Obama’s environmentalists tell us that bovines generate massive amounts of methane gas, they say that it is a major contributor to global warming. So Team Obama has a plan. That plan seeks to massively cut methane emissions. They plan to cut bovine methane emissions by 25% before 2020.

Certainly you ask how will they do that, will they cork cows? Will they strap methane burners to cattle derrieres? What will they do? It’s simple, they will institute regulations that will require reducing the number of bovine emitters. That, Deer Friends, will lead to higher, even astronomical prices for beef. Only the wealthy will be able to afford it.

I almost forgot to mention that in the US methane gas emissions have dropped 11% since 1990, and since 1998 there has been no rise in global temps.

So, get ready to pay even more, lots more for beef, simply because somebody, a scientific apparatchik of the Obama admim, somewhere, believes that cows contribute to global warming…..the same global warming that thousands of scientists are now convinced does not exist. Go figure.

But wait. Let’s apply liberal “logic” to this. Every being that digests food creates methane. Our liberal friends are firmly in favor of taxing methane as a tool to reduce methane release and thus accomplish their goals. When will they decide to enact a human farting tax? Every American would be required to wear a device to detect flatulence or burping. That data would be transmitted to a central station in real time, and a tax for each release of methane would be levied. In Demothink it is a great idea, flatulence would begat money to fund even bigger government. Of course elected officials would be tax exempt.

college-party18Part 2) Academia is a hotbed of loopy liberalism. Consider that Clemson University has instituted a policy that all students and faculty must complete a questionnaire that clearly records the sexual activity and proclivities histories of each student or teacher. And it also records the consumption of alcohol of each test taker. It requires students to divulge personal information about past intimacies and relationships. As loopy and invasive as that sounds, it is actually is worse.

The questionnaires are being distributed, recorded, and analyzed by a third party, a contractor. Each questionnaire is labeled with the students ID number, and each test taker is required to log in to the course with their student IDs and include their first and last names, email addresses, and housing information so that each questionnaire is clearly tied to the student who filled it out. Thus the personal lives of the test takers become a database. It is no secret that databases can be hacked, and that they can be sold. The questionnaire is being justified as being a part of a federally mandated training course. Student and faculty who refuse to submit to the test are warned that “that failure to complete the course will be a violation of the “Student Code of Conduct, General Student Regulation 8: Failure to Comply with Official Request.” What’s next, what will be the next invasion of your rights by the left.

Your tax dollars at work.