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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
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[Hail and Farewell] A tribute to those we lost in 2023. Video |
| If the bacon package isn’t resealable, then it contains just one serving. That’s just science. |
 On January 5th 2024 our Wounded Warrior Bicycle Riders will arrive at the Upper Keys Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 10211 in Key Largo at MM 102 Oceanside, at approximately 8am. Please come and encourage them as they prepare for their journey South to Key West. This year they will not have the invigorating benefit and big boast from our students and staff, as schools will be closed. If you’re not able to make it to the VFW Post, perhaps you can greet them on the road or cheer them on from their first rest stop at Coral Shores High School.
I’ve witnessed the magnificent energy and therapeutic support that you’ve exchanged with these wounded veterans, over the course of 20 years. State Attorney Dennis Ward, Sheriff Rick Ramsay and Veterans Affairs Director of Monroe County Cathy Crane, along with their distinguished affiliates, have served as essential elements in establishing and maintaining the foundation required for this restorative, curative and life-changing experience.
It’s crystal clear via my many conversations with these veterans over the years, this event and the loving kindness that’s been shared with them, has saved lives. They’ve been inspired to continue with their surgeries and medical treatment and not give up. A new determination, with expansive ideas about the possibilities of a future and a career has taken hold of them, giving them a newfound reason to live.
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 I don’t know much about birds but I can easily identify the husband in this picture. |
| Day 12 without chocolate: Lost hearing in my left eye. |
 [Poor Man’s Gatorade] 2 Easy homemade electrolyte drinks that actually work. You might need more than water to recover what you lose when sweating.1 8 ounces of coconut water 8 ounces of a fruit juice of your choice About 1/16 teaspoon of salt Shake or stir all the ingredients together to combine. Serve chilled or over ice for the most refreshing quaff.2 16 ounces of water 8 ounces of orange juice 2 tablespoons of maple syrup 1/16 to 1/8 teaspoon of salt Shake and combine all ingredients. You can add ice if you want |
 [Don’t Drink The Water] The day after Christmas, my younger daughter and her family flew to Key West for a vacation. She is a medical doctor. Before they left for Key West, I told her that the waters around Key West and all of the Florida Keys are full of MRSA, and she and her family should wait 24 hours after shaving, before going into the ocean. I told her to have hydrogen peroxide handy, to treat any nicks or scratches they got on the skin while diving, swimming or fishing in the ocean. I told her that doctors and divers in the Keys know the ocean is full of MRSA flesh-eating bacteria, which is fatal, if not properly treated |
 [Take From the Poor–Give To The Rich] Our republic was set up for a progressive tax rate. Without that, there will NEVER be enough money coming in. Simple math. The super rich and big corporations pay little or no tax. Before Reagan, the big boys paid up to 74% on profits exceeding several million. Sure, you hear about America’s excessive tax rates all the time, but the “effective tax rate” for the very rich is near 0%. Do you know the rest of the world knows American is one of the best tax havens in the world. |
| This will be the first New Years Eve I have had since my wife ran away with my fishing buddy. I miss him, he had a terrific boat |
 [Brown Monday] Clinic warns of spike in hemorrhoids following festive overindulgence. Indulging in excessive amounts of cake, meat and alcohol could cause piles. Clinic warns festive period creates perfect storm for piles and sees cases spike.Does this beat Black Friday and Sunday Bloody Sunday? Link |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] The lottery. So what if you win millions? then what? You got to pay most of it to the taxman, then to your “friends” who you never knew you had, then maybe to some hard looking dudes who stop by every week, then try to get bank accounts that pay good interest, then the gonif IRS guys hit on you for yearly audits, you get legal letters from lawyers about that bimbo you banged in high school, your wife wants 3/4 of what’s left for divorce settlement, and the hit man you hired is how her cousin. Now put that dollar on the bar a get another cold beer and forget the lottery bs |
 Orchard Dump Cake (Editor: correction as I omitted the ingredients in Friday’s post)3/4 cup butter, melted, plus more, to taste, for greasing the baking dish, can substitute the 3/4 cup butter for 18 ounces lemon-lime soda 2 (20-21-ounce) cans apple pie filling 1 (15.25-ounce) box yellow, white, or spice cake mix powdered sugar, optional, to taste, for toppingPreheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Using the extra butter, grease a 9×13-inch baking dish or coat it with nonstick cooking spray. Evenly add the apple pie filling to the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Evenly pour the cake mix over the apple pie filling and gently shake or tap the pan to spread the cake mix evenly. Evenly pour the remaining 3/4 cup of the melted butter over as much of the cake mix layer surface as possible. Bake until the cake is golden-brown on the top and bubbling around the sides of the dish, about 45-50 minutes. Transfer the baked cake from the oven to a wire rack and let it cool slightly before serving, about 15 minutes. Serve warm, dusted with the powdered sugar |
 Four Great Truths About ReligionMuslims don’t recognize Jews as God’s chosen people. Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah. Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. Born again Christians don’t recognize each other at strip clubs. |
| There’s a blood drive on Thursday, January 4th at Bahia Honda State Park from 10 – 3 pm. The bus will be parked by the Gift/Snack Shop. Donor gifts are a One Blood long-sleeved t-shirt and a $20 eGift Card. It is best to schedule an appointment so visit http://www.oneblood.org and enter your zip code. Thank you for donating. |
 [My Eggplant Pizza] Just add a slice or 2 of eggplant to frozen pizza before baking. I have a frozen pizza that needs some zhoozh. I’ll top it with mozzarella.[Internet Eggplant Pizza] Cut slices of eggplant, either rounds or ovals. Decorate them as you would a pizza crust |
| [We’re All Going to Die!] Red alert in Antarctica: the year rapid, dramatic change hit climate scientists like a punch in the guts. Study after study showed the breakdown of climate systems taking place much earlier than foreseen, with potentially catastrophic results. Link |
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| Blonde brain teaser. Video |
What are they celebrating? Their planet made a full circle around their star. I told you they are not Intelligent. |
| Click here for a million short videos to start wasting the new year. Video |
 This year, I made a resolution to never again make a New Years resolution! So far, it has worked perfectly. |
| [Half Blessings] Last week the Pope gave a “partial blessing” to gay couples. What is that — a half blessing? Are these people actually crazy? |
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 [Movie Critic] In the spaghetti western Death Rides A Horse with Lee Van Cleef, he fires his Winchester rifle 41 times without reloading. All the “Mexicans” were clearly Italian with their Roman noses, blue eyes and many had dimples. |
| We talk about the intelligence failure of Israel who we all thought was mighty, but don’t forget that America lost the last two wars we were in. Some people still think we’re mighty even though we keep losing. We had to leave Vietnam and Afghanistan with our tails between our legs. Just because we think we are right doesn’t mean we are. Pay attention Israel! |
Chain link fences were invented in England in 1855 by a weaver. They are called cyclone fences because they stand up in almost any storm. |
| [Prosperity] Today, under Biden’s economic program the DOW is at an all-time high of 37,689.54! Everyone who invested in America is making money hand over fist. Ed, this isn’t politics—it’s fact. |
Another year is upon us. Try and be aware of karma in everyday life. Think how great a world we would live in. And bless the CT for their time, effort, and dedication. |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 1/2/24 at 8:31 am. |
