2015 January

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

shiver cold gnome
I think this is the coldest day we’ve had this winter. I know I’m freezing my buns off!
Adult 3 wheel bike in very good condition. Located on BPK. $85 O.B.O. Classified Ads > Miscellaneous
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bill-sewer1.28.15Just a note of appreciation for the continuing grinder pump cartoons from our local comedian-artist. As Kurt Vonnegut said, “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh since there is less cleaning up to do afterwards.”
[Buying a new laptop]  I think I’ve decided on a Toshiba Laptop  It seems to have all the features I need. Of course, with the long list of things included, there might be some element missing. I absolutely hate the fact that the spec lists are not consistent from laptop to laptop, even within a single company. Any, I’m copying the model to you  It’s priced at around $300 new.Toshiba 15.6″ Laptop C55-A5180 (Intel Dual Core 2.13 GHz 1M Cache, up to 2.39 GHz/ 4GB DDR3L/ 500GB HDD/ DVD-SuperMulti drive/ Windows OS. If any thing jumps out at you, I’d appreciate knowing.
[“Mosquito Control“] The F.K.M.C.D. helicopters are dropping Vectobac larvicide into the water not an adulticide. I used to ride in the left seat. It was awesome!
The chief pilot at Mosquito Control is a beautiful young lady and the pilots sit on the right side.
[“Conspiracy”] When a conspiracy is discovered by an investigative reporter or by the news media they use such words as, corruption, fraud, scandal or cover-up. They never use the word conspiracy, because if they did, it will give credence to the fact that conspiracies do exist. For example, When it was discovered that Gov. Chris Christie was involved in the Bridgegate scandal, it was called a scandal and cover-up. Yet, he conspired to screw over the Mayor of Fort Lee N.J.Here’s a piece of an article of how they play with words, which in all truth was a complete conspiracy. The Fort Lee lane closure scandal, also known as the George Washington Bridge lane closure scandal or Bridgegate, is a U.S. political scandal in which a staff member and political appointees of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie collaborated to create traffic jams in Fort Lee, New Jersey, by closing lanes at the toll plaza to the George Washington Bridge.Watergate was clearly a conspiracy on behalf of Nixon and his cronies, but it’s called a scandal and cover-up. The people who claim that the Holocaust never happened are obviously trying to discredit “Truthers” so that people like you can believe everything FOX News tells you to believe. Why was Glenn Beck kicked off FOX?
Truck box. Aluminum diamond stamp truck tool box for full size pick up. Located in BPK. $45 OBO Classified Ads > AutoSolid oak desk. 24x36x30 tall 3 side drawers with skeleton key locks & 1 top drawer. In very good condition. $65 O.B.O. 395-1005 located in BPK.  Classified Ads > Household .Cedar lined oak chest. Large 46x21x21 tall. Very good condition. $65 O.B.O. Located on BPK  Classified Ads > Household .

Steamer chest. Very old, needs TLC. Best offer. Located on BPK Classified Ads > Household .

Foot locker type chest. Old, needs TLC. Best offer. Located on BPK Classified Ads > Household .

Car cover. Like new $20. Located on BPK  Classified Ads > Auto

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chili pepper greenBikers, tourist, and locals all go ‘NUTs on Big Pine Key. Coconuts and ABATE get together for their annual Chili Cook-off. Video
[“Chikungunya victim in the Virgin Islands”] I just got word from the doctor, not only do I have Chikungunya, but Dengue Fever at the same time!  No wonder I feel so bad.   Let the government release those modified skeeters, you don’t want what I have.
hareens 12.2.14
I always thought AC/DC was from North Dakota! They are from some other ‘damnnation’. Video
bums28[Bums] Come on down to Key West and I can introduce you to a heap of bums, who are not homeless. Some of them are city officials, some of them are city cops, some of them are city business men and women. Stay at KOTS while you are down here, get to know it so you can write more about it. And eat at the soup kitchen on Flagler Ave (serves daily at 4 p.m.) Meet homeless people, get to know them and see how close you are to being like them yourself. Some of them are a lot more fun to be around than lots of mainstream people I know.And, yes, lots of homeless people are addicts, obnoxious and violent, just like lots of mainstream people, some of whom live up the Key deer way, and some of them write into the Coconut Telegraph. Some nice folks live up that way, too, and write into the CT. You aren’t one of them.
[“9/11 eye witness”]  We where told that the Big Pine Key Volunteer Fire Department went out of business on Jan 1, 2015. How could this Paul Roxenberg represent a non existing organization?
[School Zone] I left my home on Cudjoe early this morning. On my way to work I saw a car going 55 to 60 MPH all the way. I saw for the first time the 15 MPH school zone signs in front of the Big Pine Academy, however the women driving so fast did not slow down. She probably was doing over 50 MPH when she passed the school and the crossing guard. I would suggest that a Sheriffs Deputy be assigned there to enforce the law and set an example before someone gets hurt. Funny thing, me traveling the speed limit met her at the traffic light on BPK as I was turning in to the shopping center. Whatever her rush I caught up?
[“Mosquito Control”] Larvacide is what is sprayed into the standing water. Adultacide is used when the population gets away from the controls to kill the flying biters.
[9/11/ Witness] We where told that the Big Pine Key Volunteer Fire Department went out of business on Jan 1, 2015. How could this Paul Roxenberg represent a non existing organization?
boat sinking bail
[Sinking] I was on the 18 Mile Stretch and at the Manatee Bay Marina, oceanside, there is a houseboat that is sinking. I find it interesting that the agency that targets fishermen and legal limits, etc. does not pay attention to a problem right off the 18 Mile Stretch.
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pete-frazier[Peter Frazier’s Memorial Fund] As the long time drummer for Bo Fodor & the Hitchhikers and partner in acoustic guitar duo Bo & Pete playing on Duval Street at the Bull for over 14 years and everywhere else including the Looe Key Tiki Bar now needs your help. Pete was a good friend to many. He lived in Key West for several years and played as a musician. If you went on Duval Street or in Mallory Square you were going to find him and Bo Fodor. He was a walking jukebox. He had such a kind soul. He decided to take a trip to San Francisco to change things up a bit. He arrived there with just his guitar and played just a few times before he had a fatal heart attack on Friday at 1pm. He didn’t have any life insurance. They are holding his body at the hospital until we raise enough money to have him taken care of properly. We are trying to have him cremated and his remains sent back to Florida so we can celebrate the life of music he inspired in all. Please help us put Pete to rest. Thank you so much.  Link
Instructions for removing the email virus distributed by FKAA is on their website at
Big Pine Shipping has been just off US1 for several years. The U-haul trailers are in the lot to the west. They have a fax machine. They sell coffee. Not sure what else. Maybe the new owner can list what all they will be doing. Let’s support a local! . (Ed: Maybe they should advertise their stuff here.)
yard-sale-way-big[Way Big Yard Sale] Weather canceled it last week, so this Saturday and Sunday it’s a go. We are near the No Name Pub so just follow the signs for the good stuff–no Tupperware.  It’s way big! Forty years of stuff. Antiques , art, nautical, tools and much more eclectic junk. Thanks and hope all is well with Deer Ed and maybe he will come too.
[Guttergate] I spoke with a business owner on Summerland Key today and he told me that they are going to remove the newly poured concrete gutters because as we all know they are friggin’ too deep! They will be re-poured after they are broken up. Whos paying for that? The new ones will be half the depth of the present ones. Thoughtless engineering.
frankenskeeter[Letting The Bugs Out] A few years ago up in the Adirondack Mountains of NY the state ‘bug experts’ quietly decided that if they released gigantic flies by helicopter the things would eat the tent caterpillars that damage some of the trees. They aerial dropped the gigantic flies. Now there are gigantic flies AND tent caterpillars. Of course the FL Mosquito Control folks are more expert than that. After all, studies have been done. Ha. Let the frankenskeeters fly!
Edgar Froese, the founder of pioneering electronic band Tangerine Dream, has died at the age of 70. Froese passed away suddenly and unexpectedly from the effects of a pulmonary embolism. He was residing in Vienna, Austria. Music videos
[Situation Wanted] Our landlords have a new plan for the home we have been in since 2011. A mature, responsible, hardworking couple with two beloved dogs and some potted plants are looking for a long term rental with a fence and canal. We prefer BPK but Ramrod down to Cudjoe is an option. Classified Ads > Situation Wanted
deer hunters
Someone was right about the Key deer, they are from Virginia and some are bigger than up there!
[“9/11 conspiracy”] Isn’t it funny how all those people ‘go away’ that bring up important stuff about what really happened and who did what, when and where, from some disease or hit and run or plane crash or ‘old age’ or some crap that take them out because they were honest and spoke up? I know nothink!
guinness28The old slogan, “Guinness is Good for You” might actually be true. Well, partly true. Though the company dropped the slogan years ago, that drinking a moderate amount of Guinness might make you healthier.The slogan was born in the 1920s after Guinness drinkers kept reporting that they felt good after drinking a pint. While they may have been angling for free beer, it turns out they were onto something–and doctors started listening. Surgery patients, blood donors and pregnant or nursing women were given Guinness because it’s vitamin and iron rich.Medicine drifted away from Guinness therapy over the decades, but in 2003 scientists from the beer-loving state of Wisconsin reported to a meeting of the American Heart Association that dark stout beers like Guinness are good for your heart. In theory, drinking a pint with a meal may be as effective against blood clotting as popping a low-dose aspirin. While some of the effect is from the alcohol, the research showed that stouts are better for the heart than lagers. One hypothesis is that the antioxidant compounds in stouts like Guinness give it a boost–but further study is needed.

What’s less of a doubt is that Guinness is also good for your waistline. Despite its reputation as a heavy beer, Guinness actually has fewer calories and carbs than most light beers. On top of that, Guinness’ thick & rich consistency helps you drink it slowly and feel fuller, sooner.

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at our local gas station. I’d love to know the story behind this one.
Helicopters are flown from the right seat unlike a plane that flies form the left seat.
[“9/11 Conspiracy”] It seems to me all you who were there, who saw what happened, who have documents and pictures of what happened should post them here so the world can see.
Buoyancy Compensating Vest
. Women’s size small Oceanic Flex BCD. Must be worn with a weight belt. Great condition, always rinsed, well maintained, stored inside. Used on about 20 dives for two seasons.
“Flexible comfort. The Flex BC is made with BioFlex® – a patented “living fabric” that stretches, flexes and conforms to your body. Bioflex can stretch while remaining airtight allowing us to use smaller air cells. This means less bulk and drag with more lift.” $70 OBO. Big Pine Key. Classified Ads > Boats
[Spectacle] This is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen a marching band do!  Every branch of U.S. military is honored!Hope you enjoy it. Video
[Germany: Memories of a Nation] Presented by British Museum director Neil MacGregor, this 30-part series explores 600 years of Germany’s complex and often challenging history, using objects, art, landmarks and literature. Audio
[Questions Answered] Dump the Pumps will hold an informal meeting Wednesday Jan 28 at 6pm in the Coldwell Banker conference room between Keys Federal and the Big Pine Post Office. Volunteers will be available to answer individual questions after the main discussion concludes.
[“Conspiracies”]  My ex-father-in-law who was notably ignorant and uneducated but believed himself to be quite wise and all knowing held a number of beliefs.  One was that man never landed on the moon, but rather was a giant scam by the government to trick the population into believing it to steal tax money for other secret uses.  He was convinced that the whole thing was made up on a Hollywood movie set and never really happened.  Another of his insane ideas was that JFK was actually killed by an assassin hired personally by Lyndon Johnson and that Jackie Kennedy was in on the plot due to JFK’s romance with Marilyn Monroe.  He collected the old metal Band-Aid cans believing that they one day would be a very valuable collectors item and he would be able to sell them for “lots of money.”  He traveled the world via National Geographic pictures being unable to read too well. He also shunned all religions believing them to be scams and cults existing only to steal money from the followers.  The only thing I ever agreed with him on was his belief of the true intent of religions.
Just good eating. Yum!
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I discovered Big Pine’s new gun range yesterday. They have their own brand of semi-automatic rifles that they assemble right here on the Key. I’m taking my gun the next time I go and do a little practicing for the Apocalypse. They are right next to the bike shop on County Road.
Truck box. Aluminum diamond stamp truck tool box for full size pick up. Located in BPK. $45 OBO Classified Ads > Autos
Scientists film laser beam mid-flight. Video
flea market bake sale[Flea Market & Bake Sale] The Key West Sail & Power Squadron is holding its 29th annual Flea Market & Bake Sale on 5205 College Road on Stock Island Saturday January 31 8:00 A.M. till 1:00 P.M. is a fun way to spend the day with the family. If you like flea markets, this is the one for you. It’s a great way to enjoy being outdoors, browsing, and searching for that special treasure you absolutely can’t live without. Enjoy the most delicious homemade cookies, cakes, pies, treats, cupcakes, and goodies from the bake sale while getting that bargain of a life time. Some items for sale are “nautical” items, but also jewelry, clothing, hats, sunglasses, electronics, binoculars, fishing gear, plants, clothing, collectibles, linens, glassware, cooking utensils, pots & pans, small items of furniture, yard essentials, sports memorabilia, kids toys, lawn & garden tools, infant items, auto parts, dishes, tools, collectibles, fishing and boat equipment, most anything you can think of and tons of items priced under $1. Events
[Key Deer Conspiracy] Actually the Key Deer are not really Key deer. When Flagler was building his hotel in Key West, he noticed there were no animals for food, so he stopped in Virginia and picked up some deer. Over the course of time they adapted to this environment and decreased in size.
stranger28[“Conspiracy, religion, FKAA, and other CT posts“] Here are some quotes that relate, from Robert A. Heinlein’s excellent classic, Stranger in a Strange Land :
“Secrecy begets tyranny.”
“If you’ve got the truth you can demonstrate it. Talking doesn’t prove it.”
“Government! Three fourths parasitic and the other fourth Stupid fumbling.”
“Christ was crucified for preaching without a police permit”
“I’ve never understood how God could expect his creatures to pick the one true religion by faith—it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.”
“this has more aspects than a cat has hair.”
“You have to give an editor something to change, or he gets frustrated. After he pees in it himself, he likes the flavor much better, so he buys it.”Grok!
Obama is called POTUS, as in President Of The United States. She’s FLOTUS, for first lady. So what’s the acronym for President Obama’s live-in mother-in-law, Michelle’s mom? Marian Robinson is FGOTUS — First Grandmom Of The United States.
downriggers28Downriggers for sale. Two downriggers for sale. One Riveria with 30 inch pole with manual crank and cable. No counter. Asking $30 or best offer. One Mac-Jac with 40 inch pole and manual crank, cable and has depth counter. $40 or best offer. Located in Big Pine. Call Classified Ads > Boats
[“Neighbors from hell”] Wow, do I sympathize with you! With houses built so closely together in the Keys, one bad household can spoil a neighborhoods’ right to quiet enjoyment of their property. The very first thing I would do is install a video camera (I recommend Dropcam) and focus it on their house. These retain recordings for 7 days so you will not only see what they did in your absence (trespass, litter, mischief), but also have the proof to show to cops if need be. Secondly, I would call the sheriffs office for every single infraction so their is a record of their minor violations. One might not matter, but a series of complaints over weeks and months will command attention. Is there a home owners association you can complain to? If not, maybe this is a good time to start one. Keep us posted so we know how things develop and good luck.
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If they dump millions of mutant mosquitoes on the Keys, can those bugs still bite us and if so will they make our lives miserable or give us diseases? Will Mosquito Control not spray to kill the ‘good’ mosquitoes? If not, why do we have to pay them or can we shut down the operation to save money? Seems to me they are dumping mosquitoes that cannot kill us, but will still drive us out of the Keys. Sound familiar?
[Junk Mail] It must be Fate or just that the web has a filter for this, because every email I get from the government goes right into my Junk Mail folder, all Yahoo and AT&T stuff too!
[“It’s the poor who suffer from bad government“] This is bull! The poor suffer from their own stupidity and DNA. It’s nobodies fault that the poor are garbage and useless eaters, but their own. Pass laws to sterilize this black mold and save this planet.
shepherds-pie14Happy Hump Day from Springer’ Bar and Grill. It’s Wednesday and that means another great comfort food special. So today we have Santa Fe Shepherds Pie. It’s warm, yummy in the tummy and a party in your mouth.Special Thursday – shrimp salad
Special Friday –  beer batter fish and chips or fish Florentine.
This Sunday is Super Bowl, what’s everyone doing. Come join us for the festivities. The Big Game starts at 6:30, and all 14 televisions will be tuned in to catch all the action.
There will be a 50/50 raffle throughout the day to benefit the Friends of Bahia Honda State Park. A non profit community organization to help funding improvements to the park. As always our corn hole boards will be set up for all you enthusiasts who want to get your game on before kick off. Remember Springer and the gang are always up for a challenge, so come on in and take on some of our corn hole league champions. Join us at Springer’s for a day of great food, fun and game time excitement. See you there! .Wednesday 28th: Cornhole League – Be there or be square!
Thursday 29th: The Doerfels – Bluegrass at its best!!
Friday 30th: Tim Andrews National Recording Artist “Lonesome… Road”
Saturday 31st: Last Chance to Comedian Bill Hach, the party trapped in a man’s body, the human jukebox,…lol Don’t miss it
Sunday 2/1: Guess What – NFL Super Bowl XLIX
Watch the New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks.
The party is on! Free Jell-O Shots, Giveaways, 50/50 Raffle to benefit Bahia Honda State Park
Monday 2/2: The Greens. Bluegrass / Jazz at its best from Springer’s adopted home state of Virginia. He liked it so much he married a girl by that name!
[Mosquito Control Aircraft] A helicopter is the most expensive aircraft to own and fly. The old DC3 did the same work, but could not pick out the VIP Homes to soak, so they dumped it. It could do the entire Keys in a few hours and soak all the bugs everywhere. What is needed is several DC3 or C5A’s to do it all and soak us for all the bugs. The birdies will not starve because the damn cat will eat them first!
The non partisan Gallop poll shows the Presidents approval rating is all the way up to 50%.Now you know why Conservatives are all in a major depression.Guess its time for them to pull out the “shoot the messenger” tactics.

Blame the poll takers,  blame the liberal media, blame anyone you wish but when the poll numbers were lower earlier in the year and you used them to show how bad the President is looked on you have to say now Americans are seeing the improvements and the improving numbers have to be taken as serious now as they were when the republicans were crowing of their lower numbers.

Don’t forget what fuel prices are now and lets see how Congressional Republicans push to get those prices back up with new tax increases. Remember weve been told before they took office “They control the purse strings” Stand by.

Not 1 insult was casted yet watch the insulting responses.

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The quote from Sarah Palin would be absolutely hilarious if it were not for the fact that to conservatives, such as FTR, she makes perfect sense. This is what passed for serious intellectual thought to the right wingers. If you can,t dazzle them with brilliance just baffle them with bullshit.
Conservatives really are not that bright.] ARE YOU CALLING USE DEMOCRATS?
The GOP strategy is, destroy the planet, force us all to move to another one, and put Ted Cruz in charge of NASA. What could go wrong
from the right
FTR is away getting a new Right wing and is on sick leave. He’ll return as soon as he’s well. Get well soon FTR!