Since 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures
[HMS Looe’s Cannons] Fort William Henry research has determined nine historic cannons displayed for the past 60 years at a recreated French and Indian War fort in upstate New York were originally aboard a British warship that sank in the Florida Keys in the 18th century. A study of all 68 cannons at Fort William Henry found that some if not all of the nine iron cannons likely came from HMS Looe, a British warship that sank after hitting a reef in 1744. The HMS Looe was a 44-gun frigate built in England in 1741 and sank (what is now the reef know as Looe Key) there along with a captured Spanish vessel it was escorting. Video |
[Windows 10] A lot of people don’t understand the concept behind the new Windows 10 operating system. The key word is ‘system’. Win10 is an interconnected system for all your devices—anywhere and anytime. Just one operating system, not 3 or 4 as we have now on our various devices. All your information, pictures, music, videos, etc will all be right there on whatever device you are using. No more downloading ‘this or that’ to get a file or photo. Just open your PC, tablet, laptop, or smartphone and it’s all there. No fuss or muss. Now all Microsoft has to do is get it working right. |
[Gun Nuts on Sugarloaf Key] A Sugarloaf Key man accused of pointing a gun at a Big Pine couple on a motorcycle was arrested Wednesday, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Matthew Ferro, 75, was charged with three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Last week another Sugarloaf Key man shot 3 tourists in Key West. |
[Farewell Snowbirds] Contentment comes not from having more than we need, but rather from our ability to share what we have. We may not have more than what some might feel we need in the Keys but we are always happy to share our peace, wonder and gratitude for our small little place in the world. As you journey home please feel free to take as much as you would like, want or need. And if you ever find that you wished you had taken more, our contentment will always be just a thought away. Travel safe! |
[Cubans Coming Here To Make Money] Who is paying for them to be med vac helicopter?? Is this where my taxes are going to?? On Monday morning they found more Cubans on cook island they were transported to Dolphin marina where I seen ambulances Is this where my taxes are going Who is picking up the bill for this? People who pay taxes and live here must pay big money for the med vac helicopter, it was just on 60 Minutes. We just had over 50 Cubans arrive here in 2 days. They leave their rafts and we have to pay for their removal. Why don’t they take it with them? They bring their garbage, some have AIDS and they get free everything. This needs to stop. Here’s the raft by Cooks Island. Wet foot, dry foot needs to end. |
Is there any place in the Keys to buy gluten free body lubes? |
The Rolling Stones played for a half million Cubans in Havana. |
[New Boarding Law] A state bill that requires state and local marine law enforcement to have probable cause to stop boaters for safety checks was signed by Gov. Rick Scott on Friday. Under the old law, officers as well as local law enforcement could stop anyone in state waters for random safety inspection without probable cause, which is different from the law on terra firma, where most people understand that they’re being stopped by law enforcement for a specific reason such as speeding or driving with lights out. This new law means no more pain-in-the-ass stops. |
[Tourists] Thank god Easter has passed and all our northern friends are leaving. It’s our time to go out to eat with no lines, turn left without having to turn right, and find a parking place in Key West. See all 250,000 newbies next year. Thanks TDC (sarcasm). |
Art Deco at its best. |
[No Development on Christmas Tree Island] There will be no posh resort or high-priced homes built on Wisteria Island, the 22-acre island in Key West Harbor, anytime soon, or possibly ever, because a federal appeals court has sided with a judge’s decision that an ownership lawsuit should be dismissed. The ruling meant that the Bureau of Land Management’s 2011 claim the federal government owns the land remains in place. |
[Windows 10] I kept getting announcements from Microsoft to switch to Windows 10, while the free download was still available, so I did that yesterday; it took several hours on my several years old Hewlett-Packard notebook (laptop). So far, two casualties of the change to Windows 10 seem to be the Chess Titans program and my entire photo gallery. Thankfully, much of my photo gallery was also in my website’s photo gallery. |
[How Your Cat Is Making You Crazy] Jaroslav Flegr is no kook. And yet, for years, he suspected his mind had been taken over by parasites that had invaded his brain. So the prolific biologist took his science-fiction hunch into the lab. What he’s now discovering will startle you. Could tiny organisms carried by house cats be creeping into our brains, causing everything from car wrecks to schizophrenia? Link |
[Supreme Court Confirms Second Amendment Applies to all Bearable Arms in Common Use, Including Stun Guns] In a historic, but extremely short unanimous opinion, the United States Supreme Court has confirmed that the Second Amendment applies “to all instruments that constitute bearable arms,”. As this is an enormous class of nearly all weapons, the decision is properly applied to knives and clubs, and nearly all firearms that have been sold in the United States. Nearly all types of firearms are more common than stun guns. But in an unsigned opinion, the U.S. Supreme Court Monday vacated that ruling. It said the Massachusetts court improperly found that Second Amendment protection applies only to weapons that were in common use at the time of the nation’s founding.
Referring to its landmark 2008 ruling on handguns in the home, the justices said the Second Amendment applies “to all instruments that constitute bearable arms,” even those not in existence at the time of the founding. This is a huge win for 2nd Amendment advocates. It drives a stake into the heart of those anti-gun activists who continue to assault the very clear wording of the precedent setting Supreme Court Heller and McDonald decisions. A lot of ridiculous state laws, such as the New York pocket knife prohibition, will begin to topple like dominoes. Link |
[Street Preacher] Omar has been feeding and preaching in Key West, early Sunday mornings, since at least as far back as 2003. In the past, I ate many breakfasts with him. As time passed, I started eating and leaving, because his sermons were pretty redundant, and he kept telling homeless people, if they let Jesus into their hearts, then they would stop being homeless, like what had happened for him. Except for Frisbee Dave, who was Jewish, it was my impression that every homeless person Omar fed already had done what he was telling them to do, and they were still homeless. He did the same spiel when I ate breakfast with him on Sunday maybe two months ago, and although I stayed through that sermon, I didn’t feel inclined to go back for more. If he reached you today, if your life now changes for “the better”, terrific. We didn’t have spice back then, as far as I know, but there were the regular booze-wasted homeless people who showed up for Omar’s breakfasts. They still show up, and now we have spice in the mix, and perhaps other wonder escape reality, temporarily, drugs. Booze still seems to be the main temporary escape drug, though. I admire Omar’s dedication. However, based on what I have seen, he does not seem to be turning anyone around, although he helps them keep on moving by feeding them a darn good breakfast every Sunday morning. Except, I heard when I last was there about two months ago, someone else now is preparing the breakfast and brings it to Higgs Beach, and Omar now just preaches. |
The new Overseas Highway, using the old railroad bridges from Lower Matecumbe to Big Pine Key, opened this day in 1938. |
[Corruption] This article originally appeared in the Key West Citizen on July 1, 1982. One day after Gov. Bob Graham and the Florida cabinet voted to keep Monroe County designated as an area of critical state concern, the Monroe County Zoning Board defied the state, voting 3-1 to keep processing major real estate development zoning applications. Ignoring a Florida Bureau of Land and Water Management written request “that no major developments in the Upper Key Largo area can be given approval until a plan for services can be formulated by Monroe County,” the zoning board voted to hear three majore real estate development zoning applicatoins for Upper Key Largo that the BLWM specifically singled out for delay. BLWM represents Graham and the cabinet under area of critical state concern powers. The three upper Key Largo projects in question are Nichols Subdivision, Hidden Bay and Tamarind Cove. The zoning board will hear zoning applications on each of the three projects today, reconvening at Cheeca Lodge at 10 a.m. Seeking assistant Monroe County attorney Nelson Read’s advice, the Zoning Board accepted his legal opinion that the BLWM request is “not a directive.” Dagney Johnson was the lone no vote against the board’s decision, saying that the Bureau’s concern over the lack of planned services was reason enough to halt the zoning approvals on the projects. Johnson said the accepting BLWM’s request would not be a moratorium, but would resume when service issues were worked out. She said the real estate development alone in Key Largo would cost the county another $8 million bond issue to finance the construction of a new solid waste disposal plant, and another bond issue would be forthcoming to expand fire services in Key Largo. To make matters worse, Johnson said the Bureau could sue the county for noncompliance. Allison Fahrer supported Johnson, saying that the report Graham and his cabinet approved this week to keep Monroe County designated as an area of critical state concern contained a resolution that no zoning changes be approved by the county that would increase population densities in the Keys. Fahrer is a member of the gubernatorial committee that drafted the report. Zoning Board chairman Jim Lewis said, “I think this county is attempting desperately to rule itself.” He added, “There seems to be an element that wants to challenge progress and keep controversy as the most important item and attempt to confuse any progress that’s being made.” Roy Byrd, new to the zoning board this year, said that the state should come down and run the county or let the local people take care of their own problems. |
Fishing knots animated. Video |
[Arabs] When the armies of Alexander the Great were trampling upon the ancient empires of the East, one country remained undisturbed and undismayed. The people of Arabia sent no humble embassies to the conqueror. Alexander resolved to bring the contemptuous Arabs to his feet: he was preparing to invade their land when death laid its hand upon him, and the Arabs remained unconquered. This was more than three hundred years before Christ, and even then the Arabs had long been established in independence in their great desert Arabian Peninsula.
For nearly a thousand years more they continued to dwell there in a strange solitude. Great empires sprang up all around them; the successors of Alexander founded the Syrian kingdom of the Seleucids and the Egyptian dynasty of the Ptolemies; Augustus was crowned Imperator at Rome; Constantine became the first Christian emperor at Byzantium; the hordes of the barbarians bore down upon the wide-reaching provinces of the Caesars and still the Arabs remained undisturbed, unexplored, and unsubdued. Their frontier cities might pay homage to Chosroes or Caesar, the legions of Rome might once and again Hash across their highland wastes; but such impress was faint and transitory, and left the Arabs unmoved. Hemmed in as they were by lands ruled by historic dynasties, their deserts and their valour ever kept out the invader, and from the days of remote antiquity to the seventh century of the Christian era hardly anything was known of this secluded people save that they existed, and that no one attacked them with impunity. Then suddenly a change came over the character of the Arabs. No longer courting seclusion, they came forth before the world, and proceeded in good earnest to conquer it. The change had been caused by one man. Mohammed the Arabian Prophet began to preach the religion of Islam in the beginning of the seventh century and it has been all downhill since then. |
[New Derelict Vessel Law] An FWC officer or local marine officer may determine that a vessel is at risk of becoming derelict if any of the following conditions exist: • The vessel is taking on or has taken on water without an effective means to remove water. • Spaces on the vessel that are designed to be enclosed are incapable of being sealed off or remain open to the elements for extended periods of time. • The vessel has broken loose or is in danger of breaking loose from its anchor. • The vessel is left or stored aground unattended in such a state that would prevent the vessel from getting underway, is listing due to water intrusion, or is sunk or partially sunk. Derelict vessels have been a major problem off the Florida Keys, and Monroe County government has spent more than $270,000 a year in recent years. |
[“Hates Florida”] “Now when I talk about Florida the classy people just say, “Ew” because classy people do not do Florida.” Really, are you sure? I’m almost positive I saw what appeared to be a classy person in Florida. Sorry, I remember now , it was a “gassy” person. I guess you’re right, not one person of class in Florida. I guess that’s why I feel so comfy here. |
[Pay Your Debt] I mailed you an invoice on 2/16/16 and emailed you the same invoice on 3/10/16. This is my final notice that I think you are intentionally screwing me for 3 months’ services. I am still owed $289.40 after your check bounced. The Marine Corps must have taught you nothing about honor. I know Honor, but it seems honor is just another word to you.
If you are a poor man and just can pay your debt, I wholly understand and I do apologize for this nasty email and you may forget this debt. |
A useful chart. Print it and stick it somewhere using the proper adhesive. |
[Praying] The art of self-hypnoses and soulful masturbation. |
[Ignorance] When did it become a point of view? |
[Muslims Created Spanish Glory] Twelve hundred years ago, Tank the Moor added the land of the Visigoths to the long catalog of kingdoms subdued by the Muslims. For nearly eight centuries, under her Mohammedan rulers, art, literature, and science prospered, as they then prospered nowhere else in Europe. Students flocked from France and Germany and England to drink from the fountain of learning which flowed only in the cities of the Moors. The surgeons and doctors of Andalusia were in the van of science: women were encouraged to devote themselves to serious study, and the lady doctor was not unknown among the people of Cordova. Mathematics, astronomy and botany, history, philosophy and jurisprudence were to be mastered in Spain, and Spain alone. The practical work of the field, the scientific methods of irrigation, the arts of fortification and shipbuilding, the highest and most elaborate products of the loom, the graver and the hammer, the potter’s wheel and the mason’s trowel, were brought to perfection by the Spanish Moors.
In the practice of war no less than in the arts of peace they long stood supreme. Their fleets disputed the command of the Mediterranean with the Fatimites, while their armies carried fire and sword through the Christian marches. The Cid himself, the national hero, long fought on the Moorish side, and in all save education was more than half a Moor. Whatsoever makes a kingdom great and prosperous, whatsoever tends to refinement and civilization, was found in Moslem Spain. In 1492 the last bulwark of the Moors gave way before the crusade of the Catholic Ferdinand and Isabella, and with Granada fell all Spain’s greatness. Spain immediately fell into the dark ages and the Spanish Inquisition under Catholic rule. |
[“Water displacement”] The problem with your science of melting ice in a bucket is that most glaciers are on land and when they melt the water fills the ocean. Glaciers also weigh down the earth’s plates like a see-saw resulting in plates rising at the other end. Land with no weight also sinks. |
New drone can launch from underwater for aerial missions. Golly gee, imagine the potential to blow up anything anywhere? And you wonder why we earthlings are at war all the time? Sickos like this are developing war toys to kill, kill, kill! Video |
[Crooked Lawyers] I think it was back in late 2006, or early 2007, before Jim Hendrick, arising of allegedly facilitating the bribe o a county commissioners by a real estate developer, was prosecuted, tried and convicted by a jury in federal court, in Key West, and then was disbarred, that I attended a county commission meeting in Marathon, and Jim, representing a developer who had acquired a trailer park on Stock Island, told the city commissioners that a cold place in hell was reserved for people who buy trailer parks and then evict the tenants, and that wasn’t what his client was going to do. The county commissioners approved the development. If I had to make a bet, I’d wager the people living in that trailer park back then are no longer living there.
Even if the county commission and Tallahassee did err over Seahorse Trailer Park, who’s going to challenge them? And where? In a court? I doubt it. Barometer Seahorse Trailer Park article in July 2014. Link |
[Sherlock Holmes v Philosophers] Who said what? See if you can spot Sherlock among the philosophers. Play |
[Time Is Everything] People say I have too much time on my hands. At my age that’s the best complement I ever get! |
Playboy Magazine is for sale and so is the mansion, but the ‘acc-essories’ don’t come with them! |
If the Coconut Telegraph had different sections I think it would have lots more users. The Home Page could show section buttons for: Politics, Religion, Local Gossip, Humor, Cooking, or just about any major subject. That would sure help us to post what we want to read. No sign in either! (Ed: I tried to do away with the sign-in on the National Politics page, but wasn’t able to find a program that would allow it. They all require some form of registering.) |
Wisteria, the last desert island in Key West harbor, will not be developed any time soon. A three judge panel of the Eleventh Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals ruled that a 1951 letter from the U.S. Navy to the State of Florida was more than enough to meet the requirements to establish the U.S. claim of ownership and to start the twelve-year statute of limitation running under the Quiet Title Act.
F.E.B. Corporation’s owner, Roger Bernstein, has recently spent considerable time and money lobbying the County government to allow more extensive development of offshore islands. |
[America Is Full Of Sissies] Pick a link and start reading! It isn’t going to make you happy. Link |
[The Ordeal Of The Glowing Iron] After the accusation has been lawfully made, and three days have been passed in fasting and prayer, the priest, clad in his sacred vestments with the exception of his outer garment, shall take with a tongs the iron placed before the altar and, singing the hymn of the three youths, namely, “Bless him all his works,” he shall bear it to the fire, and shall say this prayer over the place where fire is to carry out the judgment: “Bless, 0 Lord God, this place, that there may be for us in it sanctity, chastity, virtue and victory, and piety, humility, goodness, gentleness and plenitude of law, and obedience to God the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost.” After this, the iron shall be placed in the fire and shall be sprinkled with holy water: and while it is heating, he shall celebrate mass. And when the priest shall have taken the Eucharist, he shall adjure the man who is to be tried and shall cause him to take the communion.
Then the priest shall sprinkle holy water above the iron and shall say: “The blessing of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost descend upon this iron for the discerning of the right judgment of God.” And straightway the accused shall carry the hot iron to a distance of nine feet. Finally, his hand shall be covered under seal for three days, and if festering blood be found in the track of the iron, he shall be judged guilty. But if, however, he shall go forth uninjured, praise shall be rendered to God. |
The treadmill is the only product we have now that the ‘The Jetsons’ had. I’m very disappointed at how far behind we are. |
New York is putting an end to most paper prescriptions for medicine as the nation’s toughest electronic-prescribing law takes effect. As of Sunday, doctors, dentists and other health care professionals must electronically send prescriptions directly to pharmacies, instead of giving paper scripts to patients. The law aims to fight painkiller abuse by thwarting prescription-slip forgery, while reducing errors by eliminating sometimes hard-to-read handwriting. What’s known as “e-prescribing” has grown nationwide in recent years. |
[Blast From The Past] Video of a family’s vacation to Key West in 1966. Driving across the old bridges was easy because there was no traffic. Video |
[Testing Drinking Water] My samples of FKAA tap water in Big Pine are ready to go to the independent EPA certified test lab. I bought the more inclusive $149 test kit for 268+ tests from KAR Laboratories in Michigan. (95 tests cost $60) It came with 6 sample bottles, instructions, a foam refrigerant block that slept in the freezer overnight, a sampling details form, and insulated pre-paid return packaging. There is no way that I would have spent that much money if I had any trust at all in what FKAA says about anything! I don’t expect horrifying results, but I do expect to find the quality overstated by FKAA. In simple testing I have done myself, I have found a wide range of results on the different islands. If you want to have your drinking water professionally tested by someone who is not selling water or equipment, here’s the link I used. Link |
[“Water magic: put a block of ice in the bucket first, then fill to the top. The ice will float above the rim of the bucket, so one might think the bucket is overfull, but when it melts, there will only be a bucketful”] Oh Good Lord! I’m not talking about the ice that’s already in the ocean. The main concern is the ice that covers the majority of Antarctica and Greenland, which is above the sea level at this time. So please try the little experiment I mentioned. Do it in the middle of your living room on your wife’s good carpet for a more noticeable effect. |
We have made verbal contact with the animal kingdom. Watch what the fowl-mouthed bird does after his cage is destroyed. Video |
Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off. |
“Hey Joe“. Animated music lesson. Video |
[“Wastewater answers not provided by FKAA”] Yes, you could use seawater for toilet flushing, but it would be illegal and would not save you all that much. Plus it will corrode parts in your toilet tank and “The Blob” (1958 horror movie) may grow in your toilet and devour your genitals. What are the potential savings? Figure how many times a day your family flushes the loo, and multiply by the flush quantity (usually 1,6 gals/flush). Then multiply by 30.4 days in an average month. Divide your answer by 1000 gals, and multiply by the water and wastewater usage rates (currently $5.84 W + $10.60 WW per thousand gals). For 20 flushes per day, it works out to $16 per month “saved”, assuming you don’t get caught. From that $16/month savings, deduct the cost of running a saltwater pumping system, including a depreciation fund for future replacement. Now consider how much it will cost you to construct this salt water flush system including the illegal plumbing additions and modifications, assuming you don’t get caught. Also deduct the cost of toilet repairs from the corrosive salt water. If that salt water is also found to destroy your stinking grinder pump, you may be footing the bill for that repair, too. There are easier. cheaper, less risky ways to defraud the FKAA if that is your intent, but you know they will always defraud you of more and not be held legally accountable. Just assume you will be beaten daily until your morale and attitude improves. I recommend that you find another avenue for revenge if you must, or just find something much more pleasant to think about (which will attract positive experiences) while God finds an interesting way to make sport of FKAA executives for causing you distress. (karma in some religions, but cosmic balancing is present even without a religion. Watch for it.)As for a cistern as a supplement to FKAA water, the water collected in the cistern is not allowed to enter the wastewater stream if you are billed from a water meter for wastewater use, but there is no surcharge on your water bill just because you have a cistern. People without any FKAA water meter (they have a well or big enough cistern) pay a flat WW rate of just under $60/month.An “irrigation meter” for boat washing, plant & lawn watering, etc. will cost you $1,000 up front for the installation and a base facility charge monthly (currently $13.90/mo, I think) whether you use it or not. The water cannot legally be piped into something feeding the wastewater stream, but you will not be billed for wastewater for water used through the irrigation meter. |
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without talking a picture of anything. These days every person is filmed from infancy through their teen years and posted online. Just think, there is a film record of almost every millennium boy and girl. |
[Stone Ugly] The Rolling Stones in Cuba has to be the ugliest band in history! |
[The Fall of Rome] Like many warlike peoples, the Romans, when their work was accomplished and the world was at their feet, had rested contentedly from their labours, and abandoned themselves to the pleasures that wealth and security permit. They were no longer the brave stern men who lived simple lives and left the ploughshare to wield the sword when a Scipio or a Caesar summoned them to defend their country or to conquer a continent. The richer classes were given over to luxury and sensuality, effeminate luxury and degeneracy that had proved the ruin of other parts of the empire; they lived only for eating and drinking, gambling and all kinds of excitement. The mass of the people were slaves. |
[Audubon Society] Feral cat predation on birds costs billions of dollars a year. Link |
8-10 AM on 1300 — the morning mix. Radio for retards. |
[“Dial m for murder”] Marathon is a petri dish of puss filled microbes who if left to live on the mainland would end up eating each other. How Dennis Zecca got away without spilling the beans after making a deal with the State is beyond me. It’s not like people don’t know who the other players are. The situation is enough to want to make me “Ralph” up my Boar’s Head sandwich. I say take them all “fishing”. I volunteer to drive the boat! |
[Alexander the Great 333 B. C.] King Darius’ flight crushed the morale of his Persian troops, and soon the entire army was fleeing for the hills. Vast numbers of Persians were slain by the end of the battle, stated at over 100,000 including many generals. King Darius even abandoned his wife, mother in law, and son in his escape. Alexander’s Macedonian army’s loss was only 450 men. Alexander later married Darius’s wife. Alexander tried to conquer the world for his glory and no other reason. He died at 32 after warring for twelve years, leaving no successor. His glory is what mattered to him. |
The Florida Keys’ drinking water is the best drink we have for ‘flushing’ out your system! |
Islands in the Sun, the 4th annual Southernmost Fashion Show to benefit Sister Season Fund, will be held Sunday, April 3 at 6 p.m. at the Southernmost Mansion. Doors open at 5 p.m. and the first model will step onto the poolside runway at 6 p.m., according to SSF Vice President Julie Hanson, chair of the show.
Over 20 local models will showcase the latest styles of ten local shops, including Graffiti, Sargasso, Isles Styles, French Kiss, Jolie Boutique, Mikey Mo’s, Stingray Steve’s, Madison Ave, Evolution and La Rubia, she said. “Modeling are Frank Cicalese, Tony Gil, Kim Dalmon, Gina Strange, Donna Stabile, Kat Hiller, Linda Cruz, Stephen Post, Laura Zematis , Dave Bevens & new models are Jason Benoit, Kathleen Donovan, Serenity Orapecz, Carlos Sopo and many more,” and the model with the highest ticket sales and donations will be crowned SSF Top Model 2016, Hanson said. There will also be a silent auction, door prizes and entertainment by Jonathan Romero. Tickets for the show are $25 in advance, $30 at the door, or a table of eight for $160. Advance tickets may be purchased on keystix.com. “We sold out last year, so get your tickets early,” she added. Sister Season Fund is the charity that pays rent and utilities for locals in the hospitality and entertainment industries when they temporarily are unable to work through no fault of their own. Anyone interested in supporting SSF by volunteering to work April 3 or to donate an item, service or attraction to the silent auction is urged to phone Hanson 305-304-9828. |
My wife is allergic to any food that’s not fattening. Is there anything I can do about this? |
Great trees. Link |
[Country Music] Dierks Bentley – Somewhere On A Beach |
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