2018 February

Friday, February 2, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[“ABATE and other motorcyclist’s rights groups”] Is it safer to drive a car without wearing a seat belt or is it safer to ride a motorcycle without wearing a helmet? Neither is a good idea but driving a car without a seat belt is illegal. Why is it okay for motorcyclists to not wear helmets in some states? If I’m driving my car and get in an accident with a motorcycle I sure hope the rider is wearing a helmet. At least with a helmet there is a chance of survival. So, thanks to ABATE and other motorcyclist’s lobbying groups, bikers don’t have to wear a helmet in some places. In Florida no helmet is required as long the rider is at least 21 years old and has at least $10,000 in medical coverage insurance.

Wind in your hair is great? How about blood in your hair? It would seem odd if automobile drivers lobbied so they don’t need to wear a seat belt. It’s not about your “rights/freedom” ABATE and others, it’s about safety. Seat belts and helmets save lives. Nobody wants to ever be involved in an accident with a motorcycle especially if the rider isn’t wearing a helmet and is fatally injured.

[“One Locked Public Door”] That’s long been one of my pet peeves. Why do businesses only unlock one door?
[Kill the Cat] Shame on you for not putting down (killing) your emancipated, nineteen year old cat and instead letting it languish slowly at home. For all of Facebook to watch so you can get more of the attention you’re so hungry for. Plus giving the other pets in your household the angst of watching it die an excruciating death. What kind of man are you? Not a good one! Did Irma render you poor or should we hold a benefit for a proper euthanasia for the cat which you whored out? This is your right to make your pet suffer just as much as it is my right to boycott you and curse you forever.
[Conquistadores in Florida] I made a hole in the ground and threw in fuel which the trees abundantly afforded, collected in good quantity from those that were fallen and dry. About the whole I made four fires, in the form of a cross, which I watched and made up from time to time. I also gathered some bundles of the coarse straw that there abounds, with which l covered myself in the hole. In this way l was sheltered at night from the cold. On one occasion while I slept, the fire fell upon the straw, when it began to blaze so rapidly that notwithstanding the haste I made to get out of it, I carried some marks on my hair.
[Friday Joke] John asked his wife what she wanted for their 10th wedding anniversary.  She didn’t answer right away so John said, “How about a mink coat?”  “No” she said.  “How about a new sports car?”  “No” she replied.  “Well, how about a new vacation home in the country?”  “No” she answered.  John said, “Well then, what do you want?”  His wife said, “I want a divorce.”  John said, “No, I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”


Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let the fear stop you.  Happy 50th Anniversary of the Tet Offensive in Vietnam on Jan. 30, 1968. Video

[Port Pine Heights Coming Events] YARD SALE:  Community yard sales will be February 17th.  We will be putting an ad in the Barometer and with Biz Baz.  Signs will be posted at Kyle and Gulf Blvds., US-1 and the Flea Market.  Individuals should place signs at the top of their street indicating their sale locations.

PIG ROAST:  Our 13th Annual Pig Roast will be held on February 24th at 2 p.m.  Pork, chicken and all the fixings and beverages will be provided.  $5 per member, $15 for non-members.  RSVP 305-872-2170 or  This will be an excellent opportunity to socialize and share recovery experiences.  We look forward to a great time with wonderful friends and neighbors.

ELECTION MEETING:  Elections will be held at the March 10th meeting at 10:00 a.m. in our Community Park.  Members are invited to attend and show support for the slate of officers and directors who donate time and energy in support of our community.  We will also be voting to accept the budget for 2018-2019.

Your membership dues enable the work we do and the benefits we provide. Most of the storm debris has been removed and continues to be picked up.  ~Bob Audette, President

[Sexual Harassment] Oh, baby! Video
Terence White has joined the staff of Habitat for Humanity of Key West and Lower Florida Keys as the Office Manager, overseeing financial operations, property management, and HR. Originally from Massachusetts, Terence moved to Key West in 2002 after riding his bicycle across the country from San Diego.  He is married to local artist Abigail White who is a regular art contributor to Habitat.  In 2010 they purchased a Habitat home in Bayside Landing on Big Coppitt.

Terence is also is the Head Coach of the Key West High School Cross Country team and an Assistant Coach for the Track team.  Terence is excited to join the non-profit, stating, “Habitat for Humanity has been a huge part of my happiness here in the Keys so I am honored and grateful to have the opportunity to work for Habitat”

Amazon posts largest profit in its history on sales, tax boost. Link
[“Over development to begin”] Many thanks to Coconut Telegraph & John Donnelly for identifying the destructive “development practices” embraced by our Monroe County Commissioners. Life will be made untenable under their crazed disregard of “quality of life” issues. Excessive building and environmental devastation, along with the suffocating impact of over-population and increased clutter and traffic, will strangle the life out of our island communities.


[Shitholes] Haiti throws more than 10 trillion pounds of garbage into rivers and the sea every year. Video

New from Amazon, the Amazon Echo for Southerners. Video
[Contracting] Unless you know the contractor you hire personally, never give anyone money up front. If they are not self-sustaining financially, don’t deal with them. Make sure they are insured for damages if something happens on your property too!
[Politically Correct] What a morning… 8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.
8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.  Things get worse after I mutter, “Yeah, if it’s up your a**”
8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I’m on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 ISIS just claimed responsibility.
Fidel Castro’s Eldest Son Commits Suicide, Cuban Media Says. Link
[Transportation & Tour Business] The consolidation of Key West operations of HTA and CityView will not affect other markets. Historic Tours of America, which in 2009 opposed the entry of CityView Trolley, a competing tour company, into Key West, has announced its intent to buy CityView’s Key West franchise. Ed Swift and company will control virtually all such transportation.

[Moon] Out of this world facts about the Moon. Harvest moon, blue moon, full moon, crescent moon – there’s something romantic about the lovely Moon. And not just when it’s Noel Fielding with shaving cream on his face in the Mighty Boosh. Here are some staggering facts about our benevolent protector in the night sky. Link

Winn Dixie’s weekly ad. Link
[Opportunity] A man who misses his opportunity, and a monkey who misses his branch, cannot be saved.   ~Hindu proverb

I keep seeing signs that speed kills Key Deer. You would think with all the money the Federal Government could afford some kind of rehab for them. If a deer keeps selling speed they should confiscate his property.

Pigeon Key Art Festival on February 2 & 3 at Marathon Community Park. Video



Fake news.

[“Cooking tip”] Can that also be used for boiling potatoes? I don’t want to waste water!

[Groundhog Day February 2, 2018] Watch Punxsutawney Phil predict the end of winter. Video

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