2018 February

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

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[Dogs in Restaurants] Recently I was seated in a local eatery when 2 older couples came in and sat at a table near me.  One of the women had a little lap dog that she held close.  As I was starting to enjoy my breakfast the mutt yapped a few times.  When their food was delivered the woman put the dog on the floor under their table.  Another couple of yaps from the dog.  Soon, the unmistakable odor of dog crap wafted in the air.  Little Precious with the bow in her hair had taken a nice big dump on the floor under the table.  I learned on a visit to the same eatery two days later that the people finished their meal, paid, left a meager tip and left without cleaning up after the dog leaving the pile to be cleaned up buy the wait staff.  Hey ladies, leave the pet at home, in the car or tie it up outside.  Restaurants are not kennels.
[Gun Control] I notice that a lot of the comments about guns are about ‘good guys’ vs ‘bad guys and crazies’, so how about requiring a special permit for semi-automatic rifles with detachable magazines.

The ‘good guys’ would be the ones with a permit and those without it would be the ‘bad guys and crazies’ who shouldn’t have the guns.

We had a local angel save us and want to give a great big shout out to the Keys best agent, Patti Nickless.  Not only is she a great realtor and super pretty – she helped us so much.  Patti is golden; as is her entire staff and family. If you need to buy or sell real estate in the beautiful Florida Keys, you would be better served hiring the most successful and professional. Make it easy on yourself so you will get the best deal with the smartest real estate agent in the world. Link

Why are those trash chipping containers allowed in Cudjoe Key’s Cudjoe Gardens? Is some developer going to build a 10-story low rent apartment complex out of them? How low can we go to destroy the beauty of the Keys? Next we will be taking in illegal aliens and other garbage. So much for million-dollar areas in the Keys. Shark Key could take 10,000 refugees.

I’m not signing up for the 401k, there’s no damn way I can run that far!

[Killing Kids] The person responsible for the school shooting was the kid firing the gun – not the gun itself.  Everyone wants an easy fix to the mess that’s been created in society.  They all want to feel safe.  That’s not the same as being safe, far from it.  To feel safe, we’ll just take away guns.  That should do it, right?  After all, we all know that Chicago has one of the strictest gun laws in the country and isn’t it also the safest city in the country?
[“Costly contractors”] Book, testing licensing $$$$$
Liability insurance $$$$$$
Vehicle insurance $$$$$$
Equipment insurance $$$$$$
Workers comp. Insurance$$$$$$$
Homeowners that change their mind $$$$$%$%
Engineers reports $$$$$
Equipment repairs $$$$$$$$
Downtime $$$$$$$
The weather $$$$$$
Human error. (Yes we all make mistakes)
Continuing education $$$$$$
Office overhead $$$$$$$
Porta potties $$$$ … on and on and on.

You as a homeowner do have options. Do it yourself or risk liability exposure for hiring unlicensed people. Do your homework. get references, and quotes or quit whining

[Julian Assange] Ecuador says latest talks on release failed] Here’s a hero who exposed the bad guys and tried to let everyone one know who is doing whom, but the junta is stepping on this hero and will eliminate him and his kind. This is the sad part on this story. Try to straighten out this world and you get to be a bug on a windshield. Link
Is there a list of which restaurants use MSG in their foods in the Keys? Every time my wife goes out to eat, she gets headaches and I do too sometimes.




[Awareness] And most people still wouldn’t look up from their smartphones.

[“If it were not for guns you would not have a society to have children in”] False. No one’s suggesting we disarm the military. As for private citizens, the only time they needed guns was during the Revolutionary War. The rest of the time they use them to kill our children or other innocents.
[Grunts] Some developer better get smart and put up housing that will sustain the hurricane winds and house the grunts.  Because without the grunts, small business owners will eventually have to leave and then the Keys will be filled with illegal aliens.  Yes, the hotels will always be full because the hotels hire illegal aliens and they (the hotels) have a silent invisible network directly with the 3rd world countries which for some reason ICE ignores.   If you doubt it, go to any hotel and ask the folks with thick accents for their papers.
The Rotary Club of Key Largo has donated 141 books valued at $2,000 to Key Largo School’s library. Key Largo Rotarians volunteered at the library earlier this month, helping label and classify the new books. The project to replace high-use worn out books was made possible through Rotary’s district grants, which supports small-scale activities that address local community needs.

While this large gift of books at one time was unprecedented, the Rotary Club of Key Largo has been donating books to Key Largo School on an ongoing basis for the past three years. Invited speakers that present to the club at its weekly meetings are honored by a book being donated in their names; the speakers sign the books which are selected based on a school wish list.

The Rotary Club of Key Largo meets every Wednesday at 7:30 a.m. For more information, please visit

I met an old locksmith many years ago who always said the same thing when customers came into his shop. “Hi, how can I take your money?” That stuck with me all my life and when I reached old age I realized it is the way of the world especially today.




[How to Choose the Best Guitar] 15 factors to consider according to science. Link

The Florida Keys were “ablaze with mosquitos” when white men first arrived.  There were no lawns at that time. Grass in not indigenous to the Keys; that is why we have so many mosquitoes.
Good fences make good neighbors. Bad neighbors make good fertilizer.
[Billy Graham R.I.P] Think about this. 77 million saw Billy Graham in person, in person! That’s 77 million folks who planned to leave the house and go see & hear this man preach the Gospel. No special effects, no car give-a-way’s, just Billy Graham preaching the Gospel. Today a big percentage of us don’t know what the Gospel is. We wonder what’s wrong with our world? We ask, why do folks do the things they do? Maybe it’s because we have lost our way. Maybe removing God from our life is not such a good Thing. The Gospel is a term used over 75 times in the New Testament. While it has various nuances of meaning, it’s most fundamental meaning from the Greek is “good news.”

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16). Eternal Life, now that’s a concept we should look into. Billy Graham R.I.P

[“If it were not for guns you would not have a society to have children in, comrade”] Our National Guard trains with true “assault rifles”. The Federal Government permits Americans to own a true “assault rifle”, but Americans must pay $10,000+ for the license. The common semi-automatic rifle, developed over a century ago, fires no faster than a revolver. The Media can’t keep this straight, or there’d be “assault purses” and “assault knives”.
[Safety on Card Sound Road] We’ve recently heard of concerning incidents taking place on the late-night and early-morning hours on Card Sound Road. The threats involve tactics to get drivers to stop with what seems to be intentions to rob them.

In two known occurrences. A car came upon a tire in the road. When the driver stopped to move it from the highway, threatening individuals emerged from the woods. Luckily, the driver involved managed to speed away without incident; however, they did not report the threat to police.

We’ve also learned. Another driver traveling on Card Sound near the North end toward US 1 had a bottle thrown at her car. While it missed the windshield, damage was done and she went to the police to report seeing the men who hurled the bottle. The

authorities sent out a helicopter, found a suspicious man, but the woman was not able to positively identify him.

If you see something in the road do not stop or get out to move it. Keep your doors locked and safely maneuver around the object. Report any such incidences or anything that seems out at the ordinary to police.

The gun and/or concealed weapon submission is creepy and doesn’t seem appropriate. Makes me feel less safe in my own backyard and the author appeared to be misguided, uneducated about the actual statistics, and creepily paranoid with a hero/god complex. Yucky read.
[Free Tax Prep] United Way of the Florida Keys is offering 2 free tax preparation options for families with limited incomes who live in Monroe County.  The VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) program is designed to assist qualified taxpayers with completion of their annual tax returns and to ensure that limited income families receive every available benefit.  Qualification is based on a household income of less than $54,000 in 2017.  UWFK is pleased to offer the VITA program through a grant from Volunteer Florida.

Please call Ann Sandlin at 305-281-8555 to make an appointment.  Spanish translation may be available if requested when scheduling the appointment.  Questions about the VITA program itself can be addressed to Loretta Geotis at or 305-797-1704.

The tax preparation is offered at the following locations:
Islamorada Library – 81830 Overseas Highway — Tuesdays, 10 am – 2 pm:  Feb 27, Mar 6, 13, 20, 27, April 3, 10
Key West Gato Building – 1100 Simonton St — Wednesdays, 10 am – 2 pm:  Feb 28, Mar 7, 21, 28, April 4
Marathon Library – 3251 Overseas Highway — Thursdays, 1:30 – 5 pm:  Mar 1, 8, 15, 22, 29, April 5, 12
Center for Independent Living, 103400 Overseas Hwy, Key Largo — Wednesdays, 10 am – 1 pm: Mar 14

In addition, United Way partners with industry leader H&R Block to help people easily and accurately file both their federal and state taxes through MyFreeTaxesTM. Taxpayers earning less than $66,000 can enter their data through, which links to a secure H&R Block website, making it easy to complete their taxes for free from home, at work or on mobile devices, in less than an hour



An elephant keeper‘s job isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

[Grunts (laborers) v. Illegals] Illegals pack 8 people into a 2 bedroom – that’s no news.  Grunts do not.  Grunts are legal workers who have their own set of problems, but they do not pack 8 people into a 2-bedroom apartment.

In answer to the post asking where the ‘poor illegals live’ that is cheaper than what the grunts are paying,  they are living in the apartment near you and they can wrangle the rent because they don’t pay taxes, have vehicles, use taxis and want to get paid in cash.  The illegals are the ones on your block that you might think are legal, but are not.  Ask them for a social security number and they will scatter and hide like roaches.

[Gun Violence] You can weed out the gun, but you can’t weed out the crazies. Get rid of those fast shooting guns!
[Gun control] Now the gun supporters are picking apart what constitutes an assault rifle instead of focusing on protecting our children from those very same guns. It’s not the crazies – it’s the guns. Without guns the crazies would have to use another weapon. A knife just won’t cut it.
[Things Not to Like] If things keep going like the following, I worry America won’t be here much longer.
When actors take over public opinion
When nuts start shooting everybody
When prices for food go through the roof
When illegal people are allowed to roam our streets
When dopers and pushers rule the cities
When the government doesn’t round up all the bad guys
When the media says what is bull crap to sell more bull crap
When the water system starts charging big money to let us drink and flush
When pollution from vehicles over-powers us
When lies totally confuse the new generations into useless eaters
When Soylent Green appears in the food mart
When religion has more power than my federal maintenance department
When a third gender becomes important and powerful
When a farmer is unimportant
[Hates the Keys] People bitch and moan about the price of living in the Keys. They should, because everything down here is a rip-off. These islands are nothing to brag about, they are the slum of Florida, a sand covered mental colony with nothing to offer except dirt, drugs and the dregs of society. All this would be long gone if our waters were deep enough to let big yachts and ships in.



If they take away all our guns can we wear swords, carry spears, clubs, or what? Anyone make rebar canes in the Keys?

Gun nuts are so out of whack with reality that all they think about is revolution and killing our government forces (that’s their reason for assault rifles, etc). In a hundred years there will still be guns, but they will be controlled. No more weapons of war, big magazines, or assault rifles. There still will be plenty of hand guns, rifles, and shotguns.
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