2018 March

Friday, April 30, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

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[“Local real estate”] I need to comment on the assertion “Keys homes should belong to Keys residents” – it is simply naïve. How exactly would that work? I’m a long term seasonal owner (nope, don’t rent out my place) and my family has owned decades longer than your 8 years. I find that in my volunteer work with local philanthropic and environmental groups that part-timers are crucial, and sometimes the majority members of such groups. So much for the “Stewardship” of full time residents. My point is that the writer needs to take a deeper look at the economics of home ownership and how the system is set up. The same “supply and demand” issues cover other markets, whether it be limited land supplies, zoning/historical preservation or insatiable demand for the local “quality of life.” The writer alludes to “a coming storm” – it not because of a sewer system that will provide better water treatment than a hodge-podge of failing septic tanks (ROGO and zoning will keep a lid on development) – the “storm” probably will probably be major friction between “haves” and “have-nots” who are increasingly locked out of the rewards of our shared homeland.
[Shake up at the Citizen] Apparently Publisher, Paul Clarin, and Controller, Paul Donnelly, were let go on Wednesday.  Donnelly was escorted off the premises by the cops.  He’s not under arrest or anything.  I guess the company just wanted to avoid a scene.

I don’t know why these guys were terminated.  I doubt that being bad at journalism is cause for firing at the Citizen.  Maybe they had their hands in the cookie jar?  Or maybe they spent too much time at the water cooler?  Gwen Filosa is on the story, so we’ll probably never know.  As you might recall, she glossed over Kevin Madok’s CPA license liewhen she worked at the Citizen.  (Or some editor glossed it over.)

For grins I went over to and searched under Paul Clarin’s name.  This entry came up.  Cooke Government Systems, LLC?  What the heck is that?  Anyhow, it made me curious as to what side work the Citizen might have going on. It turns out that Cooke Communications, which owns the Citizen, runs the TDC website for Monroe County.  In the agreement, they’re referred to as  Tghat’s the same people though.  They keep all advertising revenues generated by the TDC website and they get paid up to $125,000 per year for special projects.  How about that!

Do you suppose that might get in the way of reporting unflattering stories about county government or their close allies the TDC?  Or maybe encourage the Citizen  to smear people the county might want smeared?

[The Movies] Now when people cry, snot runs down their noses and into their mouths. I liked it better when there was just tears. I’m not a snot fan.


Bigger Hammer Lawn Care and bobcat service. Business Directory > Landscaping, Lawncare

[Friday Joke] Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, ‘Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!’ Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, ‘Never mind, I found one.’



Oscar Wilde once said, “We all are in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” I always loved that quote.

[Poor Traffic Control] I would like to thank Sheriff Ramsey (sarcasm) for his phenomenal leadership with the south bound traffic on Card Sound. I spent three hours and twenty minutes to get back on US 1. At one point it took me two hour to travel two miles. The three-way stop was like a free for all–no Sheriffs. Finally, when we did get to US1, one Sheriff directing traffic. I have lived here all my life and never saw a traffic jam this bad or so poorly managed. That’s what you get when you have a Sheriff who thinks he is an eight star general and never served a day in the military.

Renting a chainsaw doesn’t make you a logger. Video

[Correction] Deer Ed, thanks for responding to my email. The altered post was the one responding to the person who wants to confiscate guns. I wrote: “What a discredit to and, forgive me, despicable thing it is that you believe about humanity and specifically ‘boys’. Simply because guns exist in my house they might turn into murderers? “the obvious meaning of this thought is that the presence of an inanimate object does not influence human behavior- at least not as often as the confiscation poster believes. You changed it to this: ‘What a discredit to and, forgive me, despicable thing it is that you believe about humanity and specifically ‘boys’ simply because guns exist in my house and they might turn into murderers?’  The new, changed meaning now reads that I believe that guns in the house might turn my boys into killers and that there is a possibility- the intent was that, no way, there is. Maybe subtle I know, but why mess with it in the first place?

I’m still an avid reader of your site.


Easter Sunday sunrise service, located here on Big Pine Key. (Ed: The poster omitted mentioning the location. It appears to be at the County park.)

[Guns] Well let’s see, we had a couple of pro gun and a bash-the-kids-who-don’t-want-to-get-shot responses. And what did they all have in common? They were all pretty much verbatim talking points from the GOP-NRA. All we are asking is for sensible gun laws. No one wants to take all your guns and melt them down to make a kneeling statue of a NFL player. Since no one wants a sensible gun law how about a ridiculous proposal for gun control: Every man who wants to buy a gun has to put his wiener on the counter. If it’s smaller than a certain size, he doesn’t get a gun. If larger, he doesn’t need one. Problem solved.
[Irma Insurance] After receiving a pittance for the Irma tornado damage to my home from the windstorm insurer and them not returning calls, I hired a lawyer and sued them. My house has been uninhabitable since the storm and I have alternate living expense coverage for which I received nothing. An initial claim went to the insurer for about a quarter million dollars. They responded with a $5,000 total settlement offer. They must be smoking some good stuff over there!
The only problem with free speech is that it’s not often preceded by intelligent thought
Today is Good Friday. It is the day that Jesus was crucified for your sins. Yes yours, everyone who reads this and all of those that don’t. Do you know anyone that would give their life for you? If you do you are Blessed. Yes, Jesus gave his life for us. He loves us. All of us. How can you not love someone who dies for you?
Sunday is Easter Sunday. It is the day that Jesus rose from the dead. He lives. He lives in us. If you don’t know Jesus you don’t understand. Ask someone who does know Jesus, they will tell you about the love they feel, the peace they have. If you have an addiction, he can take that from you. If you have heartache he can take that from you. If you want to be loved he will give it to you. Come to Jesus this weekend, or any time, and let him give you rest. HIs love is greater than any love you can receive on this planet.
So as you celebrate the holiday weekend, think about the real meaning of Easter. Remember how someone gave their life for you, and receive his Peace that passes all understanding.
[Civilized?] I have a question for the person who responded to someone last week. The responder said that he and his family grew up with a M1 propped up in the corner of the kitchen and a box or two of cartridges in the kitchen cabinet. Where the hell did he grow up?


[Guns] To the poster who said the only thing that can stop a bad person with a gun is a good person with a gun. He/she continued something to the effect of ‘until you get right with God, etc.’ Is stopping these shootings beyond God’s expertise? Perhaps God needs a gun? I think we have gone through the looking glass.

[Sears Sucks] I tried to order a frig and ice maker from Sears online. What a joke. I concluded it can’t be done even with the help of their hidden chat function (the typer was clueless). Sears is so messed up it’s a wonder they are still in business. I don’t want to take the time to list all thing they did that annoyed me when trying to purchase 2 refrigerators, 2 ice makers and 1 stove. I just gave up and went to Home Depot and spent my 2 grand there.
I get irked every time I come across the cheerful, chubby tv cook Rachael Ray when she calls lasagna “lagsan” and other things she can’t seem to finish pronouncing. Is she afraid to pronounce the last syllable? Does she think she’s only has so many words before her voice dries up?
[Facebook Selling Your Information] How’s that Facebook working out? needed to feel and be connected? Apparently you are more connected than you ever thought, huh? My family and friends know how to reach me without that invasive, ‘intuitive’ software. Be careful out there.


Olga Manosalvas at Safe Harbour Marina, just down the dock from the Hogfish. Meet the artist April 6th, or see her work at your leisure through April 8th at Collections, 6810 Front Street, Stock Island. Call 305-923-4778 for more information. Running parallel to the opening will be a dinner paired to her painting ‘La Pelona’, a Day of the Dead tribute; tacos, tamales and tequila will be presented by the Lost Kitchen Supper Club, April 6th. Contact: for dinner details.

[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link
If hell existed it would be inhabited exclusively by those who thought others were going there.




April 1 is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other 364.  ~Mark Twain

[National Institutes of Health] Biological and cognitive underpinnings of religious fundamentalism. Link
[Fake news alert] That picture of the Kia with the Jersey Girl plate on the front had to be photoshopped. There is no way a Jersey girl could fit into that Kia!
[Johnsons Insurance Agency Relocations] Please be advised that Johnsons Insurance Agency’s Marathon office will be temporarily joining Keys Insurance Services at their office in Marathon, while the Johnsons’ building is under renovation. Additionally, the Islamorada office will be closing and permanently moving into Keys Insurance Services’ Key Largo office. Both moves will take effect on April 1, 2018. All phone numbers and email addresses will remain the same. Sorry for the inconvenience; and thank you for your business. Please visit our website. Link
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
After reading Tuesday’s CT, I am giving up trying to post logical, sensible things. The American people seem to have lost it and are either being brainwashed or drugged into stupidity. The gun nuts, the religious nuts, the baby nuts, the illegal nuts, the political nuts, and the warlord nuts, are all destroying not only our nation but our planet. We are not going to make it



Sea urchins found around the Keys.

[Guns] The problem with gun control is the Right won’t listen to facts and exaggerates what control proponents want, going so far as to completely change what they want; and that is no rapid-fire weapons of war. It will probably take another generation before the NRA dinosaurs die off and open-minded people gain control of our safety.
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