Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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 [One Penny Sales Tax] The last time the County Commission wanted us to vote for an infrastructure sales tax was in 2013, a one cent increase for “a complete and fully funded lower Keys wastewater system to be utilized until 2033” It never happened. The money went to Marathon no to the County as proposed.
The citizens overwhelmingly approved this issue. but wait, then the Upper Keys commissioners, with 2 of the Commissioners living in the City of Marathon decided not to honor the wishes of the voters but to give our one cent tax money to the state of Florida to repair the state of Florida’s old 7-mile bridge. But wait. It just so happens that the old broken-down State owned bridge just happens to be the number one tourist attraction in the City of Marathon. It is obviously the County commission has some nefarious designs on the requested tax money. |
| The fitness trainer asked me, “What kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?” I said, “Diddly.” |
 [Flood Risk Calculator] A changing environment means warmer temperatures, new weather patterns, and stronger storms. Based on past, present, and future projections, 33042‘s greatest risk over the next 30 years is from flooding. Enter zip code |
| [Street Takeover in L.A.] The Los Angeles Police Department is stepping up efforts to address illegal street takeovers with a new measure that could lead to participants’ cars “disappearing real soon.” Detective Ryan Moreno told reporters that anyone caught attending or participating in a street takeover will have their vehicle impounded for up to 30 days. Link |
Tender morsels of free-range chicken with heritage wheat crust served with pome frite and a sweetened tomato reduction. |
| Can we get Keys Energy to reduce rate 13+ cents per hour for electricity. It’s much higher than the average cost in Florida? Another lower Keys power grab. |
 [Love] Just because you miss someone does not mean you should go running back to them. Sometimes, you have to keep missing them until you wake up one morning and realize you don’t anymore. |
| I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids. When I got home, they were still there! |
 Google’s new robot butler was trained on social media and Wikipedia articles. Google’s subsidiary, Everyday Robots, is using advanced language modeling to teach its robots how to interpret complex conversations. Link |
| [Torture Department] The Spanish Donkey. Medieval history’s most horrific torture method. The appliance was constructed of wood, with planks nailed together to form an elongated sharp ridge, which would serve as the horse’s back. These were supported by four legs fixed to a stand, some 6 or 7 feet (1.8-2.1 meters) high, with wheels fitted to the bottom of the legs so the entire device could be rolled across the floor or ground. Link |
 [First Gas Attack] A Roman soldier’s fart led to the death of 10,000 people. Farts are controversial things. Sometimes they lead to arguments, and between young siblings or friends they may even provoke a punch (with some giggles); but there are at least a couple of times in history when farts were taken seriously. So serious in fact that they led to extreme acts of violence. Link |
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 [“Abandoned canal”] In the early 1970s there was a hippy encampment on Cudjoe Key at a defunct coconut farm that was going to be developed. There was a rundown house, a tree fort, and a bunch of tents and shelters. A rugged walk through the jungle lead back to a newly dug canal (that was just about the time that the Feds came in and stopped all building and dredging in all undeveloped land and islands). One time a friend and I carried a generator, some LSD, amplifiers and a couple of electric guitars back there and rocked the woods. |
| I was making a list of all the things I would rid earth of to make it sane and habitable again, but it’s easier just to give it to the Amish! |
 [Traffic Stop] Please stop slamming on your brakes when you see a cop that has someone pulled over. Unless you are holding a severed head out of your window, he’s too busy for you. |
| [Finland Prime Minister Dancing] The world is in an uproar because Finland’s beautiful prime minister had a good time at a private party. Video |
 Bacon bits. |
| Ford announced layoff of 3,000 employees. Nearly 10% of entire work force. Link |
Start your own home business. Low investment, part-time or full-time. |
| [The Fall of Rome] In the year 210 AD, after two decades of constant warfare, Roman Emperor Septimius Severus was finally satisfied: he had conquered nearly the entire known western world. This was the year that the Roman Empire reached its maximum territory– approximately 5 million square kilometers, stretching from Morocco to Georgia, from southern Scotland to western Iran. Plus Rome controlled absolutely everything in and around the Mediterranean. They controlled the Black Sea. They controlled the Nile and Danube Rivers. They controlled the Silk Road. In short, Rome controlled virtually every known trade route in the world, and this gave them extraordinary economic power. But it came at great cost: It’s expensive to wage war. It’s even more expensive to maintain a huge empire. And in order to pay for it all, Septimius Severus resorted to heavily debasing the Roman currency. The purity of the denarius silver coin plunged from 83.5% down to just 55% during his rule. |
 Finland prime minister dance/party video? Oh my, my, oh hell yes! She could definitely be the new mayor of Key West. Video |
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| Published at 7:36am |