Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
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 Publix buys Searstown Plaza in Key West. The realtor could not comment on the sale price or Publix’s plans for the empty Sears store that closed in August 2020. The detached Sears Auto Center building is also still empty. |
[Monkey] A collision between a dump truck and a trailer carrying about 100 monkeys on Friday scattered crates of live animals across a road in Montour County, Pennsylvania, and prompted a search for a “small number of monkeys,” the state police said. Link |
Sunset times are different depending on which Key you are on. Saturday’s sunset in Marathon was at 6:02, Big Pine Key 6:04, and Key West 6:05. |
| [Poem] I started to doubt, I started to see, the face of the enemy, looking back at me. |
 [Bubble Brain Sex] The actor Evan Rachel Wood has accused the rock musician Marilyn Manson of raping her on the set of the music video for his 2007 single Heart-Shaped Glasses (When the Heart Guides the Hand). In Phoenix Rising, a new documentary about her life and career which premiered at the 2022 Sundance film festival, Wood said that during a previously discussed “simulated sex scene”, Manson “started penetrating me for real” once the cameras were rolling. “I had never agreed to that,” she said. She said she was fed absinthe on the set of the video, in which she plays a character styled as Lolita, and was barely conscious to object to Manson’s alleged actions. Link |
Not being much of a cook I renamed my produce bins in the refrigerator to a more appropriate name. |
| Distance equals perspective. Sometimes you have to get away from something or someone to see clearly. |
Put your garbage in trashcans and strap the lid down. |
| [New Rules] Medical marijuana treatment centers may not dispense more than one 35-day supply of marijuana in a form for smoking within any 35-day period to a qualified patient or caregiver. This means that instead of paying the State and doctor once a year and buying smokable pot for a whole year, you now have to pay $150 to the state every few months and $200 for a new doctor’s prescription also every few months. That’s just for the permission to buy pot, then you have to pay the high cost of the product. Florida’s absurd marijuana laws have shifted the profit from street crooks to pencil-pushing crooks. |
Free N95 masks will soon be available in Florida. Where can you go to get one? The federal government is planning to send the masks across the country soon to community health centers and pharmacies. Video |
| [Banns of Marriage] In 1983 the Roman Church said you no longer need to publish Banns of Marriage for three consecutive Sundays. You would no longer go to hell if you failed this requirement. |
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| [Ukraine] It sure looks like we are getting ready for another war, maybe WW3. The idiots won’t stop people from over-breeding or stop those sucking the blood from the working class or make the politicos see that they are nothing but maintenance men, so they have to have fun screwing up this rock again. And I thought Army ants were a problem in my yard. |
If the world was realistic, “newspapers would be delivered wrapped on small cardboard tubes.” Editor didn’t get it. Like toilet paper rolls and worth just as much. He can’t be that slow. |
| [Martin Luther Senior] Luther crystallized his own views: The pope did not have absolute authority; a council can err in its decisions; the Bible is above popes and councils in authority; the Church of Christ is not limited to the Roman fellowship alone but is the community of believers throughout the world. Gradually Luther realized these views differed so fundamentally from those of Rome that there was small chance of healing the breach. The notion that he might become a martyr recurred frequently, but it didn’t cause him to relinquish his zeal. In fact he received inspiration from it and kept three presses rolling at full speed to turn out tracts, sermons, and commentaries. (1483-1546) |
 [Crossing Over] We went shopping yesterday and were amazed how stupid people are when it comes to crossing streets. The law says vehicles have to stop when a pedestrian is in a crosswalk, but in reality, that is asking for permission to run over some putz too stupid to let a couple of tons of moving metal go by until it is safe to cross that street. Just think, if the brakes failed, or the driver is texting or not paying attention as most idiots driving today do – bang, you’re dead. If the pedestrian had waited and the crosswalk was clear they would have lived a bit longer or at least put a scratch on the side of a moving truck. Laws are made for dummies, not survivors. Ignorance is bliss but can be deadly. |
| [Pump and Run] News about the Crystal Symphony cruise ship arrest for not paying for their fuel. Link |
[Oh, Oh] When you get home late from a night out with the guys, “You know the key is always under the doormat, dear.” |
| [Ships] How, sir, would you make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bonfire under her deck? I pray you, excuse me, I have not the time to listen to such nonsense. ~Napoleon Bonaparte, when told of Robert Fulton’s steamboat, 1800s |
The Grappler Police Bumper is the only true portable vehicle arresting system. Video |
| New Yorkers are always complaining about rats. Why don’t they have more cats? Or are their rats too big? |
[Spray Duct Tape?] The answer to all of life’s mysteries and the universe in one can! |
| My thoughts on transgender men in woman’s sports. You can put an air horn and a bumper hitch on a Volkswagen, but there’s no way in hell it could be considered a Peterbuilt (pun intended). |
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| [Props] The Netflix movie The Black Book is the first time a Bic lighter has appeared on film replacing Zippo for the first time in movie history |
Apparently there’s a lack of adult supervision at the Port Asbestos Sonic. |
 This ‘telephone‘ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. ~Western Union internal memo, 1876 |
| [Perks of being over 50 and heading towards 80] Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run–anywhere. People call at 8 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?” People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won’t wear out. You can eat supper at 5 PM. You can live without sex but not your glasses. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. You can’t remember who sent you this list. |
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