2023 August

Friday, August 25, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Insurance] Home renovations can impact the level of coverage you need or the cost of premiums, so it’s important we’re made aware of projects. These are just a few examples, so if you’re unsure of whether a renovation is something we need to know about, feel free to reach out and ask. Remember, some changes to your home can actually lower your premiums.
An upgrade of your kitchen or bath
A new swimming pool or deck
Replacement of your roof or furnace
Addition of security systems or sprinklers
An upgrade of wiring or plumbing

[Oh Oh] What are they going to do in my neighborhood that I probably won’t like? These blue survey lines appeared Thursday on Key Deer Blvd.
Ancient Egyptian ‘air conditioning’ could help cool modern buildings. Researchers hope to harness 5,000-year-old ideas to battle rising temperatures. Link

[Drink Water] In this heat, a minimum of 8 glasses of water a day is essential. It doesn’t matter how you get it — bottled, through a hose, or kitchen tap. I prefer mine filtered through a brewery, but to each his own.

[Friday Joke] “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up”, said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?”, inquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
[Staying Dry] After seeing a group of people in a pool, huddled together under an umbrella to stay dry, i understand why aliens don’t visit us.
[This Can’t Be Good Department] Japan begins release of radioactive wastewater from Fukushima nuclear plant into Pacific Ocean. Video
[Moon Landing] India makes history after landing a spacecraft near moon’s south pole. India on Wednesday made history as it became the first country in the world to land its spacecraft near the moon’s south pole, an uncharted territory that scientists believe could hold vital reserves of frozen water, and the fourth country to achieve a moon landing. Link
[Revenge Of The Sneaky Add-On Charge] Two weeks ago I ate at Pizzaworks in the Winn Dixie shopping center. When the bill came, there was $1 added on for using a credit card. I don’t know if there was a warning of the credit card charge beforehand because I didn’t need to see a menu to order two pizza slices and a drink. I felt that the server should have mentioned it, so I simply deducted it from his tip.

Host an epic karaoke night with just a laptop and a mic. Turn your living room into a karaoke bar no one can kick you out of. Link

I’m so confused. We used to have Democrats and Republicans, now we have woke and mega.
[Computer Club] This Saturday, August 26, 10:30am at the BP Library. We will be meeting at the Big Pine Library on the 2nd & 4th Saturday of the month at 10:30 am. Drop in and ask a computer or cellphone question.
[Bravery] “Issue the orders, sir, and I will storm hell!”
~Major General Anthony Wayne, Revolutionary War Patriot
[Smash & Grab Mob] California store owner prices all items at $951 so thieves can be prosecuted. There are coupons at the front of the store that drop the price back down to normal.
[Opinion] Prigozhin plane crash. Riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. (Is this guy in the video paid by Putin?) Video
I watched a nature documentary on Neighbor Cable last night and the narrator said horses get farted on more than any other animal. I heard my wife ‘hrrrumph’ but she didn’t say anything
[Friday Joke] Me: “Is this the helpline for alcoholics?”
“Yes. It is.”
Me: “So how do I make a mojito?”

[‘Tis the Season–NOT] Christmas decorations. August 23rd. Costco, Greenville SC.

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[Animism] When you sit under a tree or hug a tree, you feel its energy. Studies show that trees positively impact blood pressure, cholesterol, and lower heart rate. Trees can treat depression and anxiety; and the scent of trees is used as a natural immune booster.

“I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree…” Poem
[Friday Joke] A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked, “Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?”
“Of course my child, What can I do for you?”
“Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?”
“Of course, I could, my child, but you must realize that I cannot lie.”
“You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions”, and she gave him the ‘hair remover’. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”
“From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son”, he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, “And from the sash down, what do you have?” The priest replied, “I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used.” Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, “Go ahead Father. Next!”


Hydrogen Peroxide and athlete’s foot. Link

The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/25/23 at 8:16 am.