2023 December

Friday, December 29, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Getting a Brazilian] Brazilian woman, 34, cuts off husband’s penis and flushes it down the toilet ‘after the 39-year-old bedded her 15-year-old niece’. Lorena Bobentina Vasquez? Ouch ouch bo bouch. Link
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These new toys are so realistic nowadays.

[Friday Joke] A boy and a man sit on a couch together. The boy says to the man, “Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age either.”
[“Captain doom & gloom”] So hitting women and children makes you a man?  Maybe more of you should be castrated! Show us your manhood and make it easier to do so. If this is your idea of a joke, excuse us for not laughing. What a jerk you are.
[Fake Images]  This will describe today’s world to you if you do not understand anything about manipulative techniques and photo realities. In other words what you see may not be for real. A good education on how people and the courts can be duped by false man-made images. Link
Orchard Dump Cake
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Using the extra butter, grease a 9×13-inch baking dish or coat it with nonstick cooking spray.
Evenly add the apple pie filling to the bottom of the prepared baking dish.
Evenly pour the cake mix over the apple pie filling and gently shake or tap the pan to spread the cake mix evenly.
Evenly pour the remaining 3/4 cup of the melted butter over as much of the cake mix layer surface as possible.
Bake until the cake is golden-brown on the top and bubbling around the sides of the dish, about 45-50 minutes.
Transfer the baked cake from the oven to a wire rack and let it cool slightly before serving, about 15 minutes.
Serve warm, dusted with the powdered sugar
[Friday Joke] A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man below. He lowers the balloon farther and shouts, “Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?”
The man below says: “Yes, you’re in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.”
“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.
“I am,” replies the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s no use to anyone.”
The man below says, “You must be in management.”
“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
“Well,” says the man, “You don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but  you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault.”

What’s dropping for New Year’s in the Florida Keys? Take note of events and traffic. Link

[Expensive Royal Guest 1600] King Charles for six months wandered happily and expensively through his kingdom. When the king stopped anywhere, there were wanted for his own table, and for the maintenance of his following, six oxen, eighty sheep, thirty calves, seven hundred chickens, two hundred pigeons, and many other things besides. The expenses for the king were set down at two hundred and thirty livres a day, without counting the presents which the large towns felt bound to make him.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] 50 most meaningful jobs in America. Read this list and if you can stop laughing, consider the air heads who picked each job title and why. What a spin job this is.  They might be meaningful, but they sure are out of line importance wise
[Planned Obsolescence] About five years ago, for seven dollars, I bought an old citrus juicer at a thrift shop.  It was one of those vintage small appliances which seem built to survive gas explosions and hammer attacks. When I turned on the motor with a metal toggle switch, a drive shaft spun a heavy ceramic knob that gouged out the hearts of lemon and orange halves, leaving not a scrap of pulp uncrushed. The thing worked beautifully, almost like new, so I looked up its serial number on the internet to see when the unit was manufactured, guessing it might be almost forty years old. Wrong. It dated to the 1940s. It was seventy, the stubborn monster, still giving satisfaction with every use. I can’t say the same about my coffee grinders. I use the plural because I’ve owned a lot of them, all bought in their original packaging and dead within a year. Link

Balloon Museum opens in London. Interactive art exhibit features an enormous ball pit, giant inflatable rabbits – and booths to pose in for photos. Link

World population up 75 million this year, standing at 8 billion on Jan. 1. Happy New Year, it’ll only get worse.
How we met after 60] ‘He listened and paid attention – I was really taken with him’. Christine, 71, and Beto, 70, met online in 2013. They now live separately in San Francisco, but plan to retire to the country together. Link

[Hall and Oats Feud] John Oates opens up about Daryl Hall amid bitter legal battle: ‘I have moved on’. Duo’s music ‘will always trump almost anything that Daryl does on his own or I do on my own’ says Oates, weeks after Hall filed to stop him selling his share of their rights. Link

NY Times copyright suit wants OpenAI to delete all GPT instances. Suit shows evidence that GPT-based systems will reproduce Times articles if asked. Link
[Greedy Bastards] Starting today Amazon Prime streaming is going to have ads like regular commercial TV. But if you pay $36 more a year you won’t get them. They forget that the reason streaming is so popular is because of no ads. There’s nothing we can do, just grin and pay
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[Immigration] I’ve figured out how to solve the immigrant problem without bussing them to NY. Annex one of the Mexican border states and move the border south.  Then simply send the migrants to the 51st state, Chihuahua. When full, annex another state.
The January 2024 AARP calendar of activities is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Captain Doom and Gloom] Robots Attack! “Tesla engineer injured after robot reportedly pinned him to wall with its claws.” Link
This is a typical media spin to make people scared of robots. The news is the tool used to incite fear and panic in the public and that is what can start a war! Wake up people, you are being controlled by the gamesters!

[Walmart Beauty] This is what happens when you turn around too fast coming out of Walmart.

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[Friday Joke] Yo’ Mamma’s so dumb she sold her car to buy gas!
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/29/23 at 7:59 am.