2023 July

Friday, July 28, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Corals Die] Florida waters have reached 100° Tuesday for the first time ever. As a result, all the coral will die. Devastating the reef and the hotel and dive industry. Another bummer is that all the reef fish will die.  Link
[Mini Lobster Season] One hit by police boat, another drowns on the opening day of lobster mini-season in Miami-Dade. Link
Amazon’s palm-scanning payment tech. Amazon One readers use cameras to capture various characteristics of an individual’s palm, including surface-level features like lines and ridges, as well as “subcutaneous features such as vein patterns.” These “palm and vein images” are then instantly encrypted and stored within cloud servers custom designed for Amazon. Link
[Old Lady Hiking] Grandma Gatewood, was an American ultra-light hiking pioneer. She became famous as the first solo female thru-hiker of the 2,168-mile Appalachian Trail in 1955 at the age of 67. She subsequently became the first person (male or female) to hike the Appalachian Trail three times, after completing a second thru-hike two years later, followed by a section-hike in 1964.[ In the meantime, she hiked 2,000 miles of the Oregon Trail in 1959. Link
[Boat Fire] Woman presumed dead in Perry Hotel & Marina yacht fire on Stock Island. Two others hospitalized. Link
[Friday Joke] An old, blind, curmudgeous cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. ‘Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times’.
[Carpentry] Ways beginner woodworkers can craft impressively square joints. There’s more than one way to build a wooden box. Link
[Spammers] Safe ways to get back at spammers: a guide to wasting time. Link
How many died from Covid19. Almost all of them were unvaccinated. You can thank social media for the anti-vaxxers. 1,127,152 in the US and 6,951,664 worldwide. Link
[She’s The One] When I was first dating my (now) wife, I was helping her fix a few things around her apartment. I asked her for a screwdriver and she asked me what brand of Vodka I preferred. That’s pretty much when I knew she was the one
Operation Odessa traces the wild true story of Russian mobster Ludwig Fainberg, also known as ‘Tarzan’, who managed to bamboozle multiple authorities and agencies to sell a Soviet submarine to the Colombian drug cartel during the 1990s. (Ed: The Russian sub in the picture was docked at the Truman Annex in Key West) Video
[Covid Screens] Dear Plexiglass, Thank you for protecting me from the cashier who just touched every single item I’ll be taking home with me. This period in history will be known as the Dumb Ages.

Be thankful it’s not snowing. Imagine shoveling snow in this heat!

[Travel] Airlines are reaping record profits while making flying a nightmare. Just how small do they think they can make the seats? Just how much can they charge for a bag? Remember when you always got a meal? Now we’re lucky if we get a little bag of “Goldfish”
[In The Pink] How did Barbie do it? Warner’s head of marketing on creating a ‘pink movement. From the first viral photos of Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling roller-blading along Venice Beach as Barbie and Ken, it was clear that Greta Gerwig’s new Barbie movie was going to be a sensation. Link
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[Friday Joke] I was in a barbershop when a man and his young son walked in to get a haircut. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby. The barber finished giving the haircut but there was no sign of the father. An hour passed, two hours passed. We finally asked the son where his father was. The boy shocked us by saying, “That man was not my father. He just told me that if I wanted to get a free haircut at the barbershop, I should come with him.”
“In the Keys there’s always someone a little weirder than you.”
The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 7/28/23 at 8:40 am.