2017 April

Friday, April 21, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

Several months ago I wrote about my thoughts on the proposed Publix Complex. I brought up several issues regarding the proposal of opening a store on Big Pine. For those of you that did not read it the first time, I would like to make some of the statements again and hope that locals and politicians both pay some attention.

First, I brought up the traffic problems that will occur with a Big Bubba store taking over the Flea Marker property. The Flea Market is only open two days a week from October 1st through July 31st. 8AM-2PM. Of those months, it is only a traffic issue from perhaps December through April. If Publix comes in you will have traffic seven days a week year around—and how many hours will they be open?

The irony to this issue is since I wrote my first letter several local news articles have brought up the traffic problem and so far no one has a solution. OK folks, here is the question and you can answer yes or no. Do you think Publix and another strip mall will make this problem better? I say No!  Also, what effect will another strip mall have on the Winn Dixie Plaza, which is never filled to capacity? More empty stores?

A possible solution to this problem was to find a bypass street that would allow local traffic to stay off US 1. Lyttons Way was mentioned. How long do you think it will take for the snowbirds that are staying with friends to tell others about the great new secret road. Beware Lyttons Way, you may soon have a freeway of traffic coming down your once quiet street.

The second point I brought up was how the impact of losing the Flea Market would affect the local economy. I am not an accountant, attorney, or politician (who all seem to be promoting Publix), just a local person who would like our island to not be destroyed by BIG BUBBA. I can safely say that at least thirty local residents rent space at the Flea Market annually and each one hires one to five people for the season. Add it up, if Publix gets their way at least 100 locals are out of work! Will Publix hire some of these people – I wonder? Would the small business owners that have their business at the Flea Market want to work for the wages Publix would offer. I highly doubt it.

I also pose the question as to who are the contractors that will put up the buildings. Are they local contractors or are they a part of a group that puts them up for Publix? If they are not local where they going to find housing?

The people that make their living from the Flea Market are small business owners that sell unique items that are part of the keys feel visitors and locals love. The Flea Market is an icon that people from all over the world come to shop. How can you possibly replace that with a Publix complex? They have no idea of what the Keys are really about. The people that crunch numbers and the demographic people don’t live here—we do!

And do not forget, if there is no Flea Market less people will stop on Big Pine and that affects all the other local business people on this island.

In closing I will say this. I have been coming to the Keys since the 80s and what made me move to Big Pine 10 years ago was the atmosphere and attitude that is so unique to these islands. If I wanted Big Bubba stores, I would have chosen to move to South Florida where the prices of homes are far cheaper and the weather is similar to here. I did not do that because to me this is paradise and it should somehow keep its own identity and not roll over to allow Publix put our small unique businesses out of business. Like an old song said:
“Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot”

People, please do not let that happen here.

[Uber] A bill that will open the door for ride-sharing services such as Uber to operate in Key West is headed to the desk of Gov. Rick Scott, following Florida Senate approval by a 36-1 vote. If it passes we’ll have more transportation options. If someone is against the service they should use another service like a taxi. Why are the politicians protecting the taxi companies? We saw what lack of competition did to the airlines. Another example is Comcast they can do whatever they like because of the lack of competition. I think the younger generation wants Uber and Airbnb so it will happen eventually. Why not now? Link
[Crooks] We recently became aware of another thief of gas from a boat.  It happened on Pine Street which is off of Kyle Blvd in Port Pine Heights between 4/1 and 4/15 while the owner was away.  The owner had the gas tank filled before leaving April 1st and the 75 gallons was gone when he returned 2 weeks later.  It’s unsure whether the thief was done by someone in a boat or by land.  A neighbor did remember waking up at 2 am one night during those days due to a truck driving slowly up and down their quiet road.  It could have been the thieves casing out some of our streets for unoccupied homes.

This is the 5th time that gasoline has been stolen in PPH and none of the owners reported it to the County Sheriff’s office.  The Sheriff’s department cannot help solve this problem unless the owner calls them immediately when they notice the gas is gone.  Don’t touch the gas cap or the area around it so, hopefully, they can get finger prints.  Report suspicious behavior to 305-745-3184.

[World Gone Mad] Turkey voted to give President Ertagon almost dictatorial powers, basically dismantling their democracy.
Big Pine Key resident Sheri Bailey was traveling through the Florida Keys 18 years ago when a relationship developed that kept her here. The Montreal, Canada, native has grown so accustomed to the warm weather that she does not even run her air conditioner. When not managing the office at Precision Auto on Sugarloaf Key, she enjoys eating and boating just about anywhere, as well as spending time with her son Alex, 14. ~Gena Parsons/The Citizen
[Deer Ed Goes on Trial Thursday] Betcha’ cannot wait till this stupid lawsuit is over and you can fixate on better things.  Sloan’s website is so boring as it is all the dood writes about. Why isn’t his “girlfriend” sleeping with him at the police station lobby? Stay positive, dress nice for court and be respectful.  Remember to stand up every time you speak to the Judge and always speak to the Judge herself and not to the big broad.

Sloan, you need to get a nice clean outfit for court and not show up looking dirty and rolling boogers between your fingers.  You also should remember Deer Ed when your money hits and reimburse our guy for his legal fees. I don’t know why you didn’t represent him or help him file pro se.

Both you fellas should take this time to put your assets in to a revocable trust with a spendthrift clause to avoid anymore angst from money grabbers.  Read the NOLO book and do it yourself.  Good luck to all the good guys and the Blue Paper lady who’s going to court the day before.

Everyone’s invited to join the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce for their annual Business WalkAbout & Auction at Boondocks tomorrow, Saturday, from 11 am – 4 pm.  Exhibitors will share info about their products & services while guests bid on hundreds of valuable items contributed by businesses throughout the Keys.  The event is supported by Isaksen Insurance, Keys Federal Credit Union and TV88 and is broadcast LIVE on US 1 Radio.  The Chamber thanks all the businesses that are supporting this event.
Our next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, April 22, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there! Full Menu > Ongoing Events


Can anyone tell me what caused this plume of silt to ride up thru Kemp Channel to the Gulf side from Summerland Key a couple weeks ago? Someone said it was “porpoises feeding” in Summerland Bay. I could believe that as I see what appear to be impact points in the bay when I enlarge the picture.

How to pack jean for traveling. Video
[Doggie DeJour] I see that there are still plenty of people around to buy the latest “in” breed of dog. Most of the people I see have 2 of whatever cost $1000 that year. That makes them twice as cool as your run-of the-mill dog owner.  No cache in a shelter dog. Why would you want to save a dog’s life? Real animal lovers don’t buy animals, they save them.



1951 GM Motorama Le Sabre XP-8 & Buick XP-300. Video

[$9,000,000 Lot?]Was this a typo or did someone really pay nine million bucks for a 1/2 acre? 1415 Long Beach Dr, Big Pine Key. Link


I hope Earth Day wakes a few people up as to the accomplishments the EPA has made to save our planet. There’s no need to do things that will harm our environment in order to create jobs.  I’d rather have healthy air and waters.

What we need around here is a margarita truck!  You know, like the ice cream trucks when we were kids.  When we’re just sitting around, the margarita truck could come down the street playing salsa music and we could run out to the street with some money and get a frosty one.  What the hell, gimme a pitcher of ’em!
[Drink Sewer Water] Someone wondered why Cudjoe’s so-called Advanced Wastewater Reclamation Facility is not making drinking water. First, the plant name is a fraud. It only reclaims water to use for hosing down the facility and as carrier water for chlorine.

Second, the entire plant is incapable of treating the inflow from the collection area. DEP permitted over 1.3 million gallons per day of collected sewage to go to a plant designed to treat less than 1 million. Why? Because FKAA’s Tom Walker, P.E. attested on the application forms that the plant had sufficient reserve capacity long after it did not. Also because DEP doesn’t care what FKAA does as long as some incompetent and/or dishonest licensed engineer claims it is okay. I have an internal memo from DEP’s top dog that says as much, in different words.

Third, the concentrate from a reverse osmosis plant is just that: highly concentrated nutrients and contaminants.
Fourth, although the name of the plant misleads people into thinking the intention is/was to reclaim water, there was no provision made for piping even irrigation water out of the plant. The pipe carrying sewage in is 16″ and the potable water pipe is only 6″- for fire protection.
Fifth, who trusts FKAA to produce safe potable water from your toilet flushings? If they try this, you want to hold stocks in bottled water companies. And even consider ocean bathing instead of showering.


Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes, two dinosaurs sent to pasture from the modern world.

Someone requested a repeat of “Folding a t-shirt in 3 seconds“. Video

[Cynthia No More] I was surprised there was no mention in the CT of the passing of our beloved Cynthia, of the Big Pine Avenues. She and her husband, Mark, who also passed away recently, had no family locally. The family and friends in and around her were their family and they told me so. Cynthia and Mark will be remembered to us as fun, loving, caring and kind. Even through their battles with cancer, Mark would always exhibit that great smile of his and Cynthia could be counted on for a good laugh. May they rest in peace.

[Naked Tourist] Key West Police found Andrew, from Tampa, naked in the early morning hours April 15. He would like his clothes back.
Comcast’s CEO is bragging about all the good heir volunteers do on Earth Day. I don’t care if they pick up trash. I’d rather hear him brag about improving their terrible phone support that after ten minutes usually takes you to a website that you’ll have to read for an hour before you call back and start again. They should have a live human answering their phone who could help you or direct your call. Who cares what the cost is, their net cash income last year was $19.2 billion; their free cash flow was $8.2 billion. They can afford to treat their customers well. I’m starting to agree that we might need to regulate these companies due to their lack of competition
[Uber] Sorry, shitty taxi kids. Look for work or get better at what you are (supposed) to do. I’ve had enough of your crappy attitude and shitty service. If you’d had some pride in what you do we would not have had to say yes to who is obviously going to replace you. Yeah, “I’ll buy a crappy old car, have some poor slob drive people around & make money”. Wrong. Get a job you lazy bastard.


Explores how the young Donald Trump stormed into Manhattan from the outer boroughs in the late 1970s and headed straight for New York’s most outrageous nightclub. He didn’t dance, didn’t drink, and didn’t take drugs. So what was he doing in the cocaine-fueled hothouse of the Disco revolution? Link

[1856 Key West] News came that Julius Tift died in New York City on the 18th of this month. When the news was given to his wife she screamed for hours and it was not until near 11 that she was so much calmed that Matilda could leave her. She is left without anything.

Julius Tift was the son of Asa Tift one of the original owners of the island and a Wrecker baron. One of the original four bubbas.





Water bike.

[FTR on Term Limits] Our Florida Mosquito Control Authority is considering term limiting themselves.  I salute them. However, a board member seems to be set on setting the term limits so high that the entire purpose of term limiting would be nullified.

A member is suggesting that terms be limited to a total of 16 years–16 years!  That is just too darned long. The President of the United States is limited to 8 years in office.  That’s enough.  In Florida, our Governor is limited to 8 years in office.  That’s enough.

Our State House member’s area limited to 4 consecutive 2 year terms (8 years) but can run again after sitting out one election. Our State Senators are generally limited to 2 4 year terms.

Those who argue against term limits or extended term limits, claim that the learning curve in public office requires extended service so as permit officials to become knowledgeable. Friends, it strikes me that the candidate who wins has shown that he or she has a pretty solid base of information on the issues and plans as to how to best serve and be a problem solver.

By the end 6 months a newbie elected official certainly knows where the restrooms are.  He or she knows where the parking spaces are, knows what the issues are, and has developed ideas as to how to address the issues.  He/she has forged relationships with other officials and is off and running working on solving the problems that he/she promised to solve.

Think about it, it takes only about a year and half or so to earn a masters degree.  We would expect that a newly elected official would have demonstrated ability and knowledge commensurate with a baccalaureate degree in order to get elected. It only takes 4 years to graduate from our military academys as an officer.  Many civilians earn a baccalaureate degree in 3 years or less.

Those who argue against term limits, or for extended term limits, also argue that limits will result in the loss of “institutional knowledge.”   That argument is specious. All too often “institutional knowledge” is nothing more than cozy relationships with persons who serve special interests. With term limits those special interests will be more often confronted with fresh new faces… skeptical faces, faces that are not interested in making public service a career.  All too often institutional knowledge results in a jaded outlook — going along to get along.

We need term limits.  8 years is enough.

Please take just a second and let the Bug Board know how you feel:  The Chair is Phil Goodman email him at:  You can make a difference.



Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key.

Bruce Springsteen‘s new song puts him in a special class. It’s kind of like Rachel Maddow & The Daily Show set to music. Alas, poor Bruce, I knew him when he was a rebel
[Earth Day] Call your House Representative and ask them to not only vote “Yes”, but to speak up for our rights, health & safety, and our beautiful country.

1.HR 861 Terminate the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
2. HR 610 Vouchers for Public Education
3. HR 899 Terminate the U.S. Department of Education
4. HJR 69 Repeal Rule Protecting Wildlife
5. HR 370 Repeal Affordable Care Act
6. HR 354 Defund Planned Parenthood
7. HR 785 National Right To Work (this one ends unions)
8. HR 83 Mobilizing Against Sanctuary Cities Bill
9. HR 147 Criminalizing Abortion (“Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act”)
10. HR 808 Sanctions against Iran

This is participant democracy at work. Florida House of Representatives email addresses. Link

The Bug people want term limits of 16 years! That’s our whole point, to eliminate career politicians, their constant electioneering and most of all corruption.

Some years ago, the tower on Little Torch went from blinking red to white. It is very bright and a bit annoying. Someone posted the name and phone number of the company who handles that tower. I would love to have the number again so I could contact them. Thank you.

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.  ~Leonardo da Vinci
[Winn Dixie Death Camp] Why is everyone willing to give Winn Dixie their drivers license to swipe and glean the information contained on the magnetic strip for their measly discount card? Why, some even stand in line for it like cattle, no questions even asked. They just hop right on the train to Auschwitz. Moo. Call me perplexed, but I thought we were supposed to be discouraged to share personal information with outside sources. Have we become so foolish?
[Better Bus Service] The new L-shaped route will mostly operate on Simonton and Whitehead streets from United to Caroline Street. The loop also runs up Fleming and Caroline streets to allow for more parking options near stops. The 15-minute route can will timely and reliable for downtown workers using the service.



Another overbooked United flight.

[Sanctuary Shakeup] The top three people at the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary have been reassigned. The changes come after the National Ocean Service concluded its investigation into a complaint into hostile work environment, waste and fraud and abuse charges within local sanctuary offices. Superintendent Sean Morton has been reassigned to the NCCOS Center for Coastal Environmental Health in Charleston, South Carolina. Deputy Superintendent Mary Tagliareni has been reassigned to Thunder Bay National Marine Sanctuary in Michigan. Regional Administrator Billy Causey has been reassigned to the National Marine Protected Areas Center to serve as an expert adviser on MPA management. Causey will continue to work out of the Key West office and said the changes will be beneficial for the sanctuary.
[“No one ever conquered Afghanistan”] We went thru this years back, Afghanistan aka- “The Grave Yard Of Empires” Look up Kandahar giant if you want something really interesting! Giant (Nephilim) killed by our Special Forces.



Susan Boyle‘s transformation using Photoshop. Her eyebrows look like two caterpillars heading down her cheeks. Video

I saw the article in the Citizen about Sheriff Rick Roth. Roth is a true lawman, one with vision that was willing to take on challenges head-on. Sheriff Bob Peryam was a marvelous Sheriff, wished he had run again because the Sheriff we are stuck with now is a real dud. Maybe Netflix will make a movie about him and name it “Walking Short”.
[Landing strip?] What landing strip? Little plane’s impressive landing in forest. Landing on Simonds strip in the Idaho Backcountry 900’ long at 5243’ elevation. Video


[“Ed: I can’t upload any more images today”] Hmm, and I just thought it was your infamous Easter egg pooter shooter animation that did you in.

[Mosquito Chopper Destroys House] Are those low flying choppers from the bug place or the military and can I sue them for f**king up my CBS house with their vibrations that are cracking my walls and knocking stuff off my shelves?
I don’t like that the County worker who works at the Marathon library/Tag office/area and blows the leaves into US1.
[Tourists Make Water Green] These two manatees came up and asked if the snowbirds had left yet, as they were hoping the canal would clear. I told them I was waiting for US1 to clear and hoped to find a place to park in Key West. We all shared a laugh. By the way, that’s a flow-through canal, Atlantic side, 2017. Five years ago, I was identifying tropical fish without getting my feet wet it was so clear.

Will the county please educate the newbies from the north about our fragile environment and stop the sale of fertilizers. Explain that the home they paid big bucks for has a leaky septic system, so flushing every time they spit in the toilet (like you do in NY) is bad for our waters. Oh, that’s right, ph@%k the waters, you moved here for the weather!

Admiral’s illicit history with ‘Fat Leonard’ goes back 20 years, prosecutors say. Link
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