2024 April

Friday, April 26, 2024

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[Tomato Pickers Wanted] My question is why are farmers and construction labor positions not being filled? Are American workers lazy? We complain about workers taking American jobs but while berries are rotting in the fields and Construction projects are falling farther behind these jobs are open. These jobs should have lines of Americans looking to fill them.
Fact is you can’t steal a person’s job unless they are working at it first. Let’s go folks get off you arses and get out there and work. Drink your water before you hit the job sites because water breaks are not required by labor laws anymore. Family farms/businesses goods are rotting in the strawberry fields while looking for dependable hard working American workers. Make American farms/construction workers great again. Soon berries will be an expensive luxury.
Undocumented workers are not stealing your jobs anymore, Americans just aren’t applying for them.
[Friday Joke] A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.
The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds 10 times that amount, puts out the fire, and survives.
The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares, “There is a solution!”, and then burns to death.
[Iguana Amphibious Boats] High Performance on land and at sea. Iguana amphibious boats are the most powerful and seaworthy in the world. Video
[Flood Water] Just what did they do on the 2 new bumps on Key Deer Blvd? They were smooth and fun to ride over, but the Phd’s tore up each side and the patches are now bumpy. What did they do under the 2 sides that they think would improve the flow? And how are they going to get water to flow from the west that is 1 foot above sea level to the east that is also 1 foot above sea level? If there is any difference in elevation, it’s minuscule. Water flows downhill, but there is no down hill there.
[Rock ‘N Roll] Voodu Sol, The Lower Keys based funk dance band, is back at the Looe Key Tiki Bar tonight, Friday, April 26. The band plays blues-based rock and funk, blues, and Latin rock. Come on out and get your funk out, Friday night from 700 PM till 11.
[“Pressing the CANCEL button twice”] Prior to inserting your card at the ATM. Snopes says that this is false. There is no need to do this.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] 3D printed house. Read this and realize the horror it can create. So much for dignified real estate and middle and upper class neighborhoods. The bleeding-heart freaks just don’t get it. Slavery was never meant to be stopped. Can you see the French Rivera with these rat traps? Or Atherton, California?  Ha Link
[Computer Club] Meeting this Sat, Apr. 27, 10:30a.m. Big Pine Community Center, Winn Dixie Plaza
No more waiting outside in the rain and wind for the key holder to appear. I now have my very own key! Well, you might have to wait for me a little bit, but I’ll be there! ~Lou
[Solar Sail] NASA will unfurl a 860-square-foot solar sail from within a microwave-sized cube. The highly advanced solar sail boom could one day allow spacecraft to travel without bulky rocket fuel. Link
[New Baltimore Channel] New deep-water channel allows first ship to pass Key bridge wreckage in Baltimore. Link
[Friday Joke] Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5.00 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a  Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No.
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

How psychedelic-assisted therapies can be more effective. A new study of psilocybin patients zeroes in on a crucial element of treatment. Link
Don’t bring us the snake that bit you, Australian hospital says, ‘That becomes a huge disaster.’ Link

This is the forest where Home Depot gets their 2×4’s

[Pecker] The main witness testifying in the Porn star trial is named Pecker. You can’t make this stuff up.
[Obey God] It’s amazing how many free bibles you can receive simply by asking anyone of the many free Bible sites online. Or you can spend $60 and get one from ‘God’s  chosen one’ (his words exactly not mine) a former President and know it’s what God, himself would rather you do.
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-When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
-To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
-Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
-It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
-The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
-When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
-I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
-I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
-Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a
-Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
[Civil War Movie: Depicting an America at war with itself] A journey across a dystopian future America, following a team of military-embedded journalists as they race against time to reach DC before rebel factions of the autocratic president descend upon the White House. Video
Ex-president on trial in hush money/sex scandal. First witness: a Mr Pecker. Ahahahahahahuaa!
Dates are mentioned more than 50 times in the Bible. Dates are considered the oldest cultivated fruit in the world with fossils suggesting that they were around 50 million years ago.
[Weinstein’s Rape Conviction Overturned] What happened. The New York State Court of Appeals on Thursday overturned disgraced Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’s 2020 rape conviction, ruling 4-3 that four other alleged Weinstein assault victims had “erroneously” been allowed to testify in his trial.
[Powerboat Grand Prix Returns to Marathon] Powerful offshore powerboats racing at high speeds near the world-famous Seven-Mile Bridge will show their muscle Friday through Sunday, April 26-28, when the 7-Mile Offshore Grand Prix roars into the Middle Keys.
[Friday Joke] As one saggy breast said to the other, “If we don’t get some support around here, people will think we are nuts.”

[Mt. Everest] Read the last letters by George Mallory, who died exploring Mt. Everest in 1924. ‘Darling I wish you the best I can.’ Link
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The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 4/26/24 at 10:18 am.