2018 April

Friday, April 27, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Irma Insurance Claims] Citizens Property Insurance Corporation claims representatives will hold office hours in Marathon next week to answer questions and assist policyholders recovering from Hurricane Irma.

Citizens claims staff will be available to meet individually with Citizens policyholders about their claim or policy Tuesday, May 1, through Thursday, May 3. Office hours will be 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. at Citizens’ temporary office at the Banana Bay Resort & Marina, 4590 Overseas Highway, in Marathon (near Mile Marker 49.5.)

Citizens managers and desk adjusters will be on site to answer customers’ questions and, if warranted, authorize additional payments or schedule additional inspections to address concerns. No appointment is necessary. Policyholders should bring the following information: property address, phone number, claim or policy number, photos and any other relevant documentation.

Tuesday, May 1, through Thursday, May 3. Office is open 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. Banana Bay Resort & Marina, 4590 Overseas Highway, Marathon. (near Mile Marker 49.5.)  ~Johnsons Insurance Agency

[“What’s changed about the Keys”] Well, it was more fun when Mel Fisher was hunting treasure, fishermen ran square grouper and locals were really locals, not New Yorkers who own a rental in the Florida Keys that’s rented every chance by an overweight property manager. They are the ones guilty of bringing in the BMW driving, polo shirted, tennis skirted loud mouths who never knew what it was to have an island voice so quiet it wouldn’t bounce of the water to be heard by everyone.
There was an article posted last week “Irma hit Keys tourism hard” So the county found $1.6 million to boost advertising. There’s the rub. The underlings of the Bubba system are not from the Keys, don’t know the Keys of old, so they do what they do best, sell it out. The reef is dead, and has been dead compared to what it was in the 70’s. The people in the Keys don’t come from the Keys, neither does the seafood or key limes for the pies, ice cream, skin scrubs, etc. The Keys are living on the dreams of those who visited it after hearing the tropical sell-out Jimmy Buffet sing Margaritaville. He’s as fake as the Keys are today, selling naming rights for everything from bars, hotels, over-55 communities and cruise ship stores. Believe it or not, Jimmy B. was once just like me; running weed from key to key, none of the tourists would ever believe how dirty we played in the Florida Keys. R.I.P. Keys!
[Immigration] It’s quite simple. Any immigrant who want to live in the USA must be self-supportive, have English, have enough money to set a foothold, and skills to get a job. If not stay out until you get these items. Or go back to your country and fix it!


[Free Mulch] Free mulch delivery anywhere in Monroe County. The kind of mulch provided depends on what is chipped that day. You get 16 yards of mulch per delivery. That is a lot of mulch! Call 305-743-3090 for delivery.

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, April 28, 10 am at the senior center here on Big Pine.  Hope to see you there! Full Menu > Ongoing Events
Bill Cosby found guilty of sexual assault. Link



[Chemtrails] How they affect you and what you can do. 600% increase in Autism and we wonder why? Video

[Dying Delirium at South Pole] I lay in my sleeping-bag with the floor of the hut falling from me, or its walls disappearing in the distance and coming back. I roused myself at intervals to feed blubber to the stove. I felt as though I had been delivered out of hell when the relief party arrived on the night of April 14. I had been alone four days, and I think a few more days would have sent me off my head. Not the least welcome of the things they had brought me were my letters, copies of the Weekly Times, a pair of felt shoes and a comb! ~The Worst Journey in the World
[Canal Cleanup] Monroe County, Marathon and Islamorada are set to receive $34 million in federal funding for the removal of Hurricane Irma debris in 103 canals in the Keys.


T-bone steak $5.99/lb at Winn Dixie Link




Celebrating my first computer and other things of our youth.

[Big Pine Key Fire] When will crews have this stubborn Keys brush fire under control? That depends. A major brush fire on Big Pine Key continues to smolder and burn for a fourth day. Authorities say they don’t know how it started and a state agency has taken over the response. Link



Hubble telescope celebrates 28 years of mind-blowing space pictures. Link

This moon phases calendar tool or moon schedule is an easy way to find out the lunar phase for any given month. Simply select a month and year, and click “Go”, and it will show you what the moon will look like for any day that month. Link



Why no one uses mid-husbands.

Old Chinese proverb. Making love to a fat girl is like riding a moped, both will get you where you’re going but no one wants to be seen on one. Video
[Dairy Queen Re-opens] The Blizzard will return in time to beat the Florida Keys summer heat. The Dairy Queen restaurant at mile marker 92.6 expects to reopen in mid-May after being acquired by the local Nekhaila family.



[The Environment] It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.  ~Ansel Adams

[Coral Plague] Researchers headed to the Florida Keys reef this week, seeking to determine the extent of a disease deadly to many coral species. The virulent disease, still unidentified, has been slowly moving south along the reef, turning living corals bone white.



The AARP May calendar of events is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
Try a bookstore—under fiction
Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
On their foreheads. More

[Friday Joke] A man called his Jewish mother in Florida. “Mom, how are you?”
Not too good,” said the mother. “I’ve been very weak. “The son asked, “Why are you so weak?”
She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.”The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?”

His mother answered, “Because, I didn’t want my mouth to be full in case you should call.”

[Superstition in Salem 1600s] On Sunday after the evening service, Mr. Johnson received a letter from the Governor, Mr. John Winthrop, saying that the hand of God was upon them at Boston, visiting them with sickness and taking many from amongst them, the righteous suffering with the wicked in these bodily judgments. He desired the godly here to take into consideration what was to be done to pacify the Lord’s wrath.



[Irma Help] This is for this weekends workshop – it is in Marathon the 28th but we will be back in Big Pine on the 5th of May with the same help.

Does anyone know what kind of file ‘phtml’ is? Usually web pages end with the familiar ‘html’, but I just saw one that ended in phtml.
If the residents of Big Pine were still wondering how they rate with the rest of the county after the abysmal treatment they received when recovering from hurricane Irma. This fire, which is still burning, should be a clue. From what I’ve been reading, more people are worried about the Key Deer than the people whose home was destroyed by the fire. I even saw someone on Facebook post concern about the butterflies.  Really?  Big Pine is becoming nothing more than a tourist attraction and soon to be a bedroom community for low wage workers for the rest of the Keys.  The current residents are apparently just a distraction and nuisance.  How sad.
[Bill Cosby Found Guilty of Sexual Assault] That will kill any fun in Keys bars for sure unless they sign a Mutual Agreement Release of Fornication and Property Trespass Rights Waver. What now? special rooms for males and females? So much for common restrooms, eh? The next generation will be totally a do-it-yourself disaster. Selfies anyone!
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