2013 August

Friday, August 16, 2013


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(Saturday, August 17. The Coconut Telegraph is not published ob Saturdays)



[Just Say No] It’s heartening to see some others recognizing the enormous waste of our tax money involved with any talk of rebuilding and perpetually maintaining the Old Seven Mile Bridge.  This is not about providing a spot to watch the sunset from.  This is basically about building a multi, multi million dollar driveway, and an incidental minor $500k for a down ramp to the island, mostly for some people who live out on Pigeon Key, a place that most people, truth be known, just aren’t interested in.  

We are already being milked for $250,000 per year to pay for a ferry boat that rarely leaves the dock.  Those Pigeon Key people must be laughing like hell at us suckers.


I can’t tell if you’re on too many drugs or not enough!

naked16[Friday Joke] An elderly  man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and  peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of  the women shouted to him, ‘We’re not coming out until you leave!’ The old man  frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’

Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the  alligator.”

Some  old men can still think  fast.


water heater


[Pet Peeve] I have two today. “Hot water heater” It is not a hot water heater it is either a water heater or a cold water heater. If the water was hot you wouldn’t need a heater. The other one is: I’m going for a “bite to eat.” No one has just one bite to eat.

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[Sewers] If you can read and don’t have to look at simplified pictures you will see that a gravity sewer system is much more expensive than a grinder pump system. Why do you think they went with grinder pumps in the first place?




[Out of Touch] I remember when George W Bush went to a supermarket for a photo opportunity and was amazed at the scanners at the checkout lanes. He had been in public office for many years and had lost touch with the American public. He’d never seen a scanner! This is a good reason to have term limits. If politicians live in a rarefied atmosphere how can they legislate what is good for us? I’ve been reading about term limits for forty years and am encouraged by the recent upsurge of supporters for term limits. Most will agree that limits will flush the career turds from politics.

Three-toed sloth crossing the road in Costa Rica could take up to two days without assistance. Video


The entire history of the world—really, all of it—distilled into a single gorgeous chart. Link

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The coffee isn’t working get the jumper cables!

Deer N. Roosevelt Construction People, Again we stipulate and acknowledge that your motives are pure as a new fallen snow in my old state of Wisconsin.  But we are convinced that you are mistaken in opposing the immediate reinstatement of two way traffic on North Roosevelt.

In the Citizen article this morning you again state you are concerned about two-way traffic because of public safety concerns. But I read the article three times and I could not find a single word was that was uttere to articulate just what those concerns are. We believe that there are great safety concerns with one way traffic and the possibility of a vehicle mistakenly proceeding west to east on Roosevelt.

Again, I request that you advise me (and I will forward on to our list) of any safety concerns you may have with two-way traffic.  If you fail to so articulate, adverse inferences may be drawn by some. The matter is critical because the survival of more than one businesses depends on the right decision being made.  We believe you understand that.


camera phone

[Smartphone] Important privacy info for anyone who takes pictures with their cell phone and posts them online. Pictures you’ve e-mailed or uploaded from your smartphone could leak information that can threaten your safety or that of your children. Video 

[Keys Energy] I’m not sure I understand all the payment noise. I do electronic payments, thru my bank’s online bill pay to Keys Energy for free. There are other choices than mail/visits and using the merchants website.

I do all my online payments through my banks, instead of the merchants, because its free, guaranteed, centralized, and they keep the bill pay history. 

isaksen-flood 4.23.13
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Service-Dog-Large[Service Dog BS] There’s a video circulating about a vet asked to leave the boardwalk with his “service dog”. It is a shame, but at the same time anyone, and I mean anyone, can obtain a service dog I.D. from the internet for about $28 and pay an extra fee for the service dog jacket. I see people everyday abuse this privilege and I imagine it has to be stopped somewhere and somehow. Yes I am sure the man was a vet, but I see pit bulls, Dobermans, Shepards and Chijujuas with the same type of cards. I have a friend at this very moment visiting me with a Morkie and he has a card for him, and he is not a service dog. I know this for a fact. These are household pets and some of them are very dangerous animals with muzzles on them, but the individuals want their little babies to come everywhere with them and with these cards in hand they try and shove these animals down our throats. I am sorry to say that unless your dog has gone through a vigorous training and has a proper certified card from a legitimate agency they need to stay home. What will be next, a St Bernard on the plane in the aisle in front of your seat just because someone bought an I.D. card on the internet and didn’t want to be apart from him? You tell me where does it stop? Link

[Old 7 Mile Bridge] I am hoping that someone out there knows
1. How many times people use the Old 7 Mile Bridge each year.
2. The cost of repairing it.
3. The useful life of the repaired bridge.
4. The annual maintenance cost.

The County must have this information, but I can’t find it. If we take #2 divided by #3, add #4 to that and divide the result by # 1, we’ll get the yearly cost to taxpayers for a single walk on the bridge. I’m willing to bet that ,based on current usage, it will be cheaper to fly a person to Europe for their walk.

And to you proponents out there, don’t use ” if we build it they will come ” as an excuse to pump up #1.

[Advisory Council Wanted] NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary is seeking applicants for seven primary members and six alternates on its advisory council. The council ensures public participation in sanctuary management and provides advice to the sanctuary superintendent.

Advisory council members provide important connections to the community, helping inform sanctuary management decisions,” said Sean Morton, sanctuary superintendent. “Council members selected this term will play a critical role in helping shape the future of marine conservation during the sanctuary’s marine zoning and regulatory review.The sanctuary is currently accepting applications for the following seats: boating industry (primary member); citizen-at-large – Upper Keys (primary member and alternate); diving – Upper Keys (primary member and alternate); fishing – charter sports fishing (primary member and alternate); fishing – recreational (primary member and alternate); research and monitoring (primary member and alternate); and tourism – Lower Keys (primary member and alternate).

Candidates are selected based on their expertise and experience in relation to the seat for which they are applying, community and professional affiliations, and views regarding the protection and management of marine resources. Applicants who are chosen as members should expect to serve three-year terms, pursuant to the council’s charter.

The advisory council consists of 40 primary and alternate members representing a variety of public interest groups. It also includes primary and alternate representatives from 11 government agencies.

Applications are due Sept. 30. To receive an application kit, or for further information, please contact Hannah Weddington, sanctuary administrative assistant, by email at or by phone at 305-809-4700 ext. 241, or by mail at Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, 33 East Quay Rd., Key West, FL  33040. Application kits may also be downloaded from the sanctuary’s website,

1984-two-minutes-hate-02-500Watching Fox News reminds me of the book “1984“.   In the book the rabble would have to drop everything and gather into a big mob in front of a big screen showing a picture of the latest enemy of the State.   During this 2 minute “Hate” they would scream and foam and throw stuff at the screen and jump up and down.  Then they would all settle down and go back to work.  Fox News does the same thing with their relentless, 24/7,  attacks on the Obamas, which works out to a whole lot more time spent hating then Orwell ever dreamed of. 

[“Gas price”] I don’t know where you are in rural Virginia, but gas yesterday in Warrenton, VA was $3.19 and had just gone down another two cents that morning. YIPPEE! (Ed: It’s $3.75 here on the rock.)



Get Ready for Saturday night Karaoke at Springer’s Bar & Grill From 8 pm – 11 pm

Do you dare to sing? Bring you dancing shoes! Inside and air conditioned. The Bar with the big Army truck 31251 Avenue A, Big Pine Key (305) 872-3022

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ship16[Stolen Booty] To have your treasures pirated in high seas is one thing, but from high trees? Yavapai County sheriff’s deputies are looking for whoever plundered $5,000 in booty from a tree-house pirate ship in the backyard of a Prescott home.

Mike Shepard reported the theft in May. He said the ship was locked when one or more scallywags took the door off the hinges to get inside. Shepard built the ship on his property for his family’s amusement more than 15 years ago and filled it with authentic-looking pirate gear and exotic items from his travels abroad. The ship took a lot of effort to build, he said, and “according to my wife, it was expensive.” “I was going to build a tree house and ended up getting carried away and building this pirate ship,” Shepard said. “It’s real. There’s all sorts of things you wouldn’t expect a children’s tree house to have.” Like daggers, ornate swords, real gold coins, and an Egyptian necklace valued at $400. These items and more were taken in the burglary, he said. 


Following some of the links posted on the CT to BS websites to reaffirm some crazed belief is getting to be the norm. Remember that any nut can have a website, right Deer Ed?

spy paper



[Spies Like Us] A guide to the deceptions, misinformation, and word games officials use to mislead the public about NSA surveillance. Link

The trouble with hand held surface-to-air missiles is that their special batteries don’t last very long and they become useless. Make sure your batteries are fully charged.
nira tocco realtor 9.12
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A sink hole opened up in the ground near Disney World. The line to get in it is already 4 hours long. ~Stephen Colbert


[“Watercars are only good on lakes without waves”] If you watched the videos, you would not display your ineptness like that. The vehicle can handle all kinds of water. Watch all 3 videos. Video

cowboy arrow


A TV Western Reunion of all the TV Western Stars from the 50s, 60s, & 70s hosted by Glenn Ford in a Western Saloon Set. This show aired in 1975. Video

tarps bungee cords

[Veteran kicked off boardwalk because of service dog] Every Veteran & Person with a service dog should go there together, and fill the Boardwalk. New Jersey, what is wrong with you? Link

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[Scam of the Day] Hello Dear, This memo is on a deceased person, same surname with you and his deposits at a Bank. The account holder died intestate and as such has no successor in title over his huge wealth. Please, are you familiar with this personality as you are being considered to inherit his assets? Your reply with answers to this memo will be appreciated.

Your Faithful,
Ms Zykeerah Whitemore
Chief Consultant Officer

sword chariotI am Spartacus because for all too long I stayed quiet.  I stayed quiet because baby needed shoes (often literally) and I needed work in a biased field that would blacklist me as soon as they knew my true self.

I allowed my loyalties and beliefs to be assumed from external appearances and origins – I allowed them to believe I must be extreme left because I’m female, of Latin origin, and have somewhat more than a Master’s degree in Modern Languages and Literature. (I would go back for the doctorate, I would, but I’m not willing to stay quiet anymore). Those years of festering silence weigh within me, and in the scales of eternal justice I’m afraid I’ll get counted with the enemies of Liberty, because I was quiet, I consented.

I am no longer quiet.

I am Spartacus writ small.  I am Spartacus praying that I never need to stand physically facing the might of the largest power the world has ever known.  I can tell who would lose. Because of that I am battling in the mind, to avoid the evil hour as long as I can, yet maybe, if a miracle occurs, to avoid it altogether.

I am Spartacus because our media are palace eunuchs gazing avidly at the harem of power and stroking their impotent pens in time to the rape of our liberties.

religion politics zone

[Obamacare] Let me tell you why the people with the big money don’t want Obamacare or anything like it. If they get sick, they can pay for the best medical care available without batting an eyelash, while we could lose everything we own and still end up with discount care. The cost of healthcare isn’t a big threat to them.

The big threat they can’t afford is terrorism , so they need us to pay for biggest threat against them.

Hell, I am much more worried about going broke from being sick than I’m worried about a terrorist.

So the people who own everything ,including most of Congress , want to use our tax money to protect them from terrorists rather than from our own financial ruin.

If Liberals spoke their minds, they’d be speechless.

rodeo-clown16I have a question for the poster concerning the rodeo clown that wore the Obama mask. You said “”Obama getting charged by a bull was widely criticized by Democrats and the cult left going so far as to demand the DOJ and secret service investigate”. I couldn’t find it online please show me the back up of who demanded the secret service and DOJ investigation. Im thanking you in advance for the information you have that I couldn’t find. Please let me know if any Missouri Republicans also requested the investigation. I know the Missouri Democrats asked the Republicans to consider the investigation so was it the republicans after being asked that launched the investigation or not?

The only things I was able to find was that there were also a high number of Republicans offended along with the fair themselves. The fair was highly upset because they were worried about losing a lot of revenue from Democratic visitors which I understand why they would be upset and other people that were there both Republican and Democrat were upset because they felt  their were children there and they didn’t think a fair for all Americans should be used as a place for a political statement. I myself thought it was silly and could be passed off as bad taste but I can understand why most parents would want their children to think the office of the Presidency should be respected.

[Conspiracy] In the immortal words of J Edgar Hoover “Coincidence Stinks”. Obama just happened to know 60s far-left radical revolutionary William Ayers, whose father just happened to be Thomas Ayers, who just happened to be a close friend of Obama’s communist mentor Frank Marshall Davis, who just happened to … Link

The person who knows how every Republican acts must be a genius with powers far beyond those of mortal men. Note that this is the same type of person who will tell you they care for all people and hate stereotyping of any kind- but they hate republicans who they classify as greedy, non-caring people. Does anyone but me see a wee bit of hypocrisy at work here?

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Sign the petition calling for Congress to impeach President Obama. Link

[Al Gore Dissed] When you’re working for somebody whom you admired politically, who turns out to be a clod,” says Keith Olbermann, referring to Gore, “the scales fall from your eyes. Sorry. Al underdelivered. I mean that’s just simply the case. I don’t want to dwell on it, but it’s true.” Link

[Border/amnesty]  How long would it take for Obama to fix it if he thought the illegals were in large part to vote Independent or Republican. Can you say drone strikes and National Guard deployment in about 30 minutes or less? Vote 3rd Party or we’re finished.

The Affordable Health Care Act will provide health insurance to 40 million Americans who are not insured. Presently they are not insured because they can’t afford to be. So they now will have to buy health insurance or they will be fined (taxed). If they can’t afford the insurance, how will they afford the fine (tax) and the insurance? Are they then put in prison for failure to pay the fine (tax)? (light bulb) Now I get it… prisoners get free healthcare. So simple.

When are Americans going to stand up and say that they have had enough? What ever happened to accountability? Jefferson’s Declaration clearly states that our government derives its power from the consent of the governed, not the other way around. On a personal note: I don’t remember giving our government my permission to circumvent the Constitution to suit their purposes. As an American, I should have been consulted. That may sound incredibly naïve, but that was Jefferson’s vision.

Principle 11 – The majority of the people may alter or abolish a government which has become tyrannical. “Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes … but when a long train of abuses and usurpations … evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.” – Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence

from the right

an_republican32While it’s true overall that our economy sucks, there are some very good things going on throughout this great nation. Currently there are 30 Republican governors, that’s good news, it could be better, but it is good news.

Republican governors lead seven of the ten states with the lowest unemployment rates, and 12 of  15 states are ranked best for business.

The public is well aware of the short comings of Democrat governance. Over the past ten years, millions of Americans have fled Democratic-leaning Blue states for Republican-leaning Red states, according to a new report from the Manhattan Institute

Can we agree that in order to create jobs that it is necessary to have a business community that is prospering? Can we all agree that in order to grow the middle class and to shrink the ranks of poverty that it is necessary to have a prospering business community? Can we all agree that our middle class is shrinking while welfare rolls are exploding?  Can we all agree that poor business performance breeds loss of jobs, and expansion of poverty? If we can agree on most or all of that then we really should think about some very interesting facts that were published by CNBC about business performance throughout the US in 2012.

CNBC, certainly no right wing outlet,  reported its  rankings of top states for business and the list was led by states with Republican governors: 4 of 5 top states have GOP governors…8 of 10 top states have GOP governors….12 of 15 top states have GOP governors.  They reported that the foregoing was an improvement over 2011.  More states with GOP governors topped this year’s list than one year ago. In 2011: 3 of 5 top states had GOP governors…now 6 of the10 top states have GOP governors.

Polina Corporate Real Estate Inc.  is a major national business real estate and consulting business. Each year they rank the pro business states for their clients. In 2012 they reported that 9 of 10 top pro-business states being led by Republican governors.

Site Selection Magazine, its name says it all,  is a business magazine widely circulated in the business community. They reported that 9 of 10 most competitive states are led by Republican governors.  8 of 10 states with the most new and expanded corporate facilities have Republican governors.

The business journals that follow all agree that states with Republican governors are by far best suited for business development or growth. Area Development Magazine…Chief Executive Magazine…Forbes Magazine…and Business Facilities Magazine.

Let’s think about our situation in Florida, just how good a job  is Republican Governor Rick Scott doing?  I’d say pretty damned good.  In June, the last month with stats available,  reported that the u/e rate in Florida was 7.1%, substantially lower than the u/e rate for the US that month.

From June ’12 to June ’13 Florida added 127,200 new jobs, third only to Texas and California. It’s worth noting that Florida has less than half the population of California.

Scott has balanced our budget, created a surplus, he has not raised state taxes, he has created a positive business climate, and he has been a cautious watchdog of the public purse. But Governor Scott is not alone in his accomplishments: while the Obama administration borrows over $3 billion a day just to keep the lights on, Republican governors have closed $65 billion in budget shortfalls, without raising taxes.

That’s Republicanism.


They’re changing the name of climate change again. The doomed planet movement has been losing momentum. Inconvenient scientific findings have confirmed the lack of any significant warming of dear old Earth over the past 16 years. It’s hard to scare people into action when nothing bad is happening. That’s why the White House has changed its vocabulary again — first “global warming” was changed to “climate change” — and now the correct name of the scam is “carbon pollution.” It’s a way to paint carbon dioxide as if it were black soot billowing out of industrial smokestacks. Carbon dioxide is actually what humans exhale, and it’s food for plants. Link