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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days:
Tuesdays and Fridays.
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 I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to all of those who supported my campaign with their vote. Even if I was not your choice on your ballot to be your School Board Representative for Monroe County, I am committed to representing you, your children, and your schools. I look forward to working for all of the children in Monroe County.With all of my appreciation, Yvette Mira-Talbott |
| [Build, Baby, Build] A coalition of 16 organizations representing thousands of Florida Keys residents has strongly opposed the County’s proposed resolution supporting the City of Marathon’s request for ten new residential building allocations from the State (Agenda Item O15). This opposition highlights several critical concerns regarding the proposal and the broader ROGO allocation process. Only developers will benefit. |
 [Designing My Own Watch] Last month a very special package arrived from Switzerland, containing my custom made wrist watch. I decided to sell all my big brand watches and have them replaced by something unique, tailored to my personal preferences. This is the story of my watch. Link |
| To everyone who doesn’t like what I post… I hope you have to pee 3 times tonight and only wake up twice! |
Life’s essentials in rural America. |
| [Friday Joke] A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer.” “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my backyard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’ So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K, buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!’ “Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?” “Of course not everybody pays,” she said! |
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| [Winners] In the Florida Keys, most of the candidates who competed in Tuesday’s primary were the outright winners of their respective races. The only race that was an actual primary was for Monroe County Supervisor of Elections. Republicans Sherri Hodies, chair of the Southernmost Republican Club, bested Margaret Romero, a former Key West city commissioner, with 60 percent of the vote, preliminary results show. Link |
  He was known as Colonel Tucker. Backer of treasure hunter R. Jordan and involved with the Buccaneer Resort in Marathon. He purchased some properties in Marathon in the mid-1980s. He also had a bronze cannon on display in the entrance of the restaurant that was recovered from American Shoals. |
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| [Crooked Cops] They’re still at it. Key West had the most corrupt police force in the 80’s during the Bubba Bust when it was found that the police were acting as lookouts for illegal drug shipments. It was so bad that the Feds wouldn’t even notify local police when they were performing a bust in the City because the KW Police were so corrupt. It’s happening again with an officer tipping off drug dealers to impending busts and raids. Deputy Jennifer Ketcham, a 3-year veteran just got fired for that! |
 [Olympics] The first swimmer to emerge from the Seine says that the water wasn’t that bad. |
| Why is women’s healthcare in a perilous place? Take a look at the Florida rankings. Florida, with high numbers of uninsured and the lofty cost of care, ranks among the worst states in the country for women’s health, according to a new national report. Active Map |
 [Woman’s Boxing] The U.S. is ready to respond to the Olympics’ new women’s boxing rules. |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] Cultivate your own garden. I told people this when I was 20 years old, to eliminate all uneatable growth, insects, and useless animals and just grow eatable everything everywhere, but of course I was laughed at as a nut. Why? Because humanity is nothing but useless breeding eaters and too lazy to wipe their own assess. Now we are going to annihilate each other again because it is easier to push a big red button than to think. Link |
 [Handyman Project] How to build a 50,000 ton forging press. Link |
| I used to live next to an engineer. He spent 3 years working on a project in his home. One evening he divulged that he had been working on bringing down the price of shoes and concluded that if he took longer steps, he could buy fewer shoes for life, and he was starting his project going to work the next day. I got up early to look out my window and sure enough he came out. He took one giant step forward and immediately ripped the ass out of his pants. I chuckled as he backed into his house. The end. |
 [Rushing Christmas] So look what’s showed up at upstate South Carolina Lowe’s. August 20th. |
| [Academia Overload] One night I was doing my business at a men’s room urinal. A professor, with more degrees than a thermometer, walked up to the urinal beside me, unbuttoned his vest, pulled out his tie, and pissed his pants. |
 How pythons can eat such giant meals. Scientists have learned how their hearts stand up to the stress of mass digestion. Link |
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| [Crook] Florida Keys deputy axed after helping drug dealing boyfriend evade the law. Jennifer Ketcham, a 40-year-old from Key West, was fired after an internal affairs investigation into the deputy, the sheriff’s office said. She’s been on the force for three years. She was illegally using law enforcement records to tip off her drug dealing boyfriend about confidential informants and impending drug raids. |
 [18th Century Mongol Yurt] Garment chests and rolls of bedding were stored around the walls, along with saddles and riding harnesses and huge earthenware water jars. The beaten-earth floor was covered with rugs. Spiders and scorpions, Tekudai told him, would not set foot on a felt carpet, so they served a dual purpose, keeping everything warm and dry as well as deterring insects. |
| [Boeing] Starliner astronauts are watering plants and fixing urine pumps on ISS. Link |
 Humpback whales use bubble-nets as ‘tools’. Marine biologists observed whales manipulating their air bubble traps. Video |
| [Friday Joke] There were a few ducks in the park blowing bubbles, and a police officer gave them a ticket. They went to court and the first duck went in to see the judge. The judge asks, “What is you’re name and why are you here?” The duck said, “My name is quack and I’m here for blowing bubbles in a park.” The judge said, “That’s not a crime, you’re free to leave. please send the next duck in.” So the next duck comes in and the judge asks, “What is you’re name and why are you here?” The duck says “My name is quack quack quack and I’m here for blowing bubbles in the park.” The judge replied, “That’s not a crime you’re free to go. Please send the next duck in.” So the third duck comes in and the judge says, “Let me guess you’re name is quack quack quack and you’re here for blowing bubbles I’m the park?” The duck says “No, my name is bubbles.” |
 [Sherman’s March To The Sea] 1865 General Stoneman is under my command, and my order will suspend any devastation or destruction contemplated by him. I will add that I really desire to save the people of North Carolina the damage they would sustain by the march of this army through the central or western parts of the State.W. T. SHERMAN, Major-General. |
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| [Friday Joke] An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut and he tells the barber he probably can’t get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he’s finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’s had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened If he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/22/24 at 2:51am am. |