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Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days:
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 [Insect Review] I don’t know what I hate more, mosquitoes, noseeums or deer flies. Mosquito bites easily get infected, but don’t hurt too much. The worst is when they hum in your ear at 4 in the morning. Noseeums, or flying teeth, torment you with their mini-bites. You can’t see them to swat because they are so small. Their bites are like pin pricks and there are a lot of them all at once. Deer flies hurt the most. Their bite hurts a lot and last the longest, the little bastards. They’re also the biggest, about the size of a housefly, but yellow. I hate them too. |
| If you’ve got something to say about Winn Dixie in Big Pine, use this link |
 [Feels Like…] The weather people are really pushing the very subjective “feels like” temperature. For example, the actual temperature is 88°F but feels like 110°F. The question is, it feels like that to who? An overweight person dressed in all black digging a trench in the road at noon? Here are a few suggestions as to what it feels like.Actual temp 93°F but feels like being on the surface of the sun at high noon. Actual temp 90°F but it feels like being in Lizzo’s armpit at a Chicago concert. Actual temp 85°F but feels like sitting next to a fat drummer at the end of the last set. |
| The year legit went like: Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaanuaryyy, Februaaaaaaaaaaarrryyyy, Maaaaaaarchhhhh, Aprilmayjunejuly, AUGUST |
 [Stupid Lawsuits] Richard E. Brown of Kershaw County, South Carolina, filed a lawsuit on Aug. 1 against Buc-ee’s, the convenience store chain. Brown was walking on a sidewalk at a store when he tripped over a rope that was holding down the large inflatable beaver mascot, which caused him several injuries, including to his right shoulder. The lawsuit claims that Buc-ee’s was “aware of the dangerous condition of the rope that was holding the inflatable beaver in place.” Brown is suing for negligence and seeking unspecified financial damages. Buc-ee’s has not responded. |
| For all the good those suppositories did, I should have just shoved ’em! |
 [Bridges] There are 27 bridges from Mexico to the US of A. I thought there were only about a dozen.I thought there were 28 bridges in the Keys, but it turns out that there are 42 bridges from Key west to Miami. |
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| Some ways people use religion to avoid personal responsibility. Link |
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| Mosquitoes can sense our body heat. The insects have poor vision, so rely on a combination of other cues to sniff out hosts. Link |
 [Free Mammals] Go to Dolphin Research Center for free – otherwise pay $35 each person any other day. |
| [Captain Doom and Gloom] Can you imagine how stable this planet would be without banks, stocks, or investing, but just working and keeping your own stash of gold and silver in your pocket as currency, and carrying a very large gun. The conmen and BS capitalists would have to work for a living. All the easy riders would be wiped out in a day. No one would live on someone else’s sweat or have to provide for someone else’s unwanted kids. Politicians and useless eaters would be gone, as would unnecessary riffraff and designer BS. No junk food would equal a more stable humanity. Pollution would be nil as would dangerous power sources and unneeded products. Religion would turn into a history lesson of bent mind control. Wars would be forgotten about because all are now equal and working or die-off. It might be a nice place. Taxes would only be necessary to support the earth’s basics. It might be a nice place. Link |
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| [Imitation Food] The world’s first 3D-printed salmon is hitting store shelves, and it looks kind of good. The Filet relies on mycoprotein made from nutrition-heavy filamentous fungi, and naturally offers a meat-like texture. Only another 12 ingredients compose Revo’s Filet, such as pea proteins, plant oils, and algae extracts. With its high protein and Omega-3 contents, eating a Revo Filet is still very much like eating regular salmon—of course, without all the standard industrial issues. And thanks to its plant-based ingredients, the Filet also boasts a three-week shelf life, a sizable boost from regular salmon products. Link |
 Militarized Cybertrucks are coming—if you can open the doors. From the people who brought you Cybertruck cop cars. The new Tesla price increase for the non-militarized truck is just $99,000 to $116,000. Link |
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 [Chocolate Breakthrough] Have Swiss scientists made a chocolate breakthrough? Food scientists in Switzerland have come up with a way to make chocolate using the entire cocoa fruit rather than just the beans – and without using sugar. Link |
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| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 8/27/24 at 9:53 am. |